November 5, 2025 • 37 mins
In the wild world of viral embarrassments, two scandals are duking it out for ultimate facepalm supremacy: the TikTok-fueled freakout over "embarrassing" boyfriends—as we discussed before—and the Houston hustler's brick-flinging hoax that's left a trail of bad checks and worse excuses. One's a soft-launch social media sigh; the other's a hard-knock scam straight out of a true-crime TikTok. But who's really got the deeper shade? Let's unpack the chaos.
First, rewind to September 2023: Enter Roda Osman, the self-proclaimed "Brick Lady" of Houston, who went mega-viral after tearfully claiming an Uber driver hurled a brick at her face for rejecting his creepy advances. Hospital selfies, swollen-lump close-ups, and a GoFundMe raking in $42,000 for her "recovery" had the internet in a rage-fueled frenzy—until surveillance footage dropped the mic. Turns out, *she* was the aggressor, whacking the guy first (with who-knows-what), and he clapped back with... a plastic water bottle. Her story flip-flopped like a bad Tinder bio, and by January 2024, she was slapped with theft-by-deception charges for blowing donor cash on Jamaica jaunts, NYC splurges, and spa days. Fast-forward to October 2024: Guilty as charged, with a 90-day jail stint, 10 years' probation (GPS anklet included), a full $42K payback order, and a decade-long social media ban to boot. The kicker? Jurors had to tell her to chill out post-verdict, and her victim, Olan Douglas, called her a manipulative nightmare who turned his life into "living hell." Embarrassing? This is next-level: From sympathy queen to scam artist in 4K.
Cut to 2025's hotter mess: the boyfriend blackout sweeping TikTok, where straight women are whispering that coupling up is now "culturally loser-ish" and straight-up uncool. It kicked off with a British *Vogue* bombshell by Chante Joseph—"Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?"—positing that in our post-heteronormative doom-scroll era, flaunting a man feels like admitting defeat. Think: muting feeds that start with "my boyf—," cropping dudes out of pics, or "soft-launching" with a blurry hand on a steering wheel to snag partnership perks without the ick. Why the shade? Superstition (jinxing it with the "evil eye"), privacy paranoia (what if it tanks and you're left archiving a digital ex-shrine?), and clout calculus—influencers like Stephanie Yeboah tanked followers after "hard-launching" their guys, with comments roasting trips as "beige" or boyfriends as "lame Republicans." TikTok's flooded with "period vogue" vibes: women joking about blurring faces or celebrating singledom as the real flex, amid a vibe where heterosexuality feels like a sinking ship and solo life screams empowerment. Even coupled gals nod along, admitting it dials down their "aura."
But hold up—not everyone's buying the boycott. *Evie Magazine* fires back: This ain't embarrassment; it's clout-chasing cynicism, where women dodge vulnerability to stay "feminist" and feed the algorithm, romanticizing isolation over intimacy. Psychologist Dr. Ana Yudin calls it out as Gen Z's selfish twenties trap—delaying real growth for superficial single flexes that leave you emotionally marooned by 30. And *The Guardian*'s Emma Beddington? She laughs it off: "No affectionate, non-abusive relationship is uncool," unless you're dating a DiCaprio-type age-gap disaster. Bottom line: Boyfriends aren't the problem; performative detachment and "heterofatalism" are, turning love into a PR nightmare.
So, verdict in the embarrassment Olympics? Brick Lady wins gold for felony-level fraud and a lifetime L, but boyfriends snag silver for turning everyday romance into a viral villain arc. Either way, in 2025's scroll-or-perish society, the real loser is anyone still trusting a GoFundMe—or their own thirst trap judgment. Who's your pick for peak embarrassment?### Boyfriends or Brick Lady: Which Embarrassment Takes the Crown?
In the wild world of viral embarrassments, two scandals are duking it out for ultimate facepalm supremacy: the TikTok-fueled freakout over "embarrassing" boyfriends—as we discussed before—and the Houston hustler's brick-flinging hoax that's left a trail of bad checks and worse excuses. One's a soft-launch social media sigh; the other's a hard-knock scam straight out of a true-crime TikTok. But who's really got the deeper shade? Let's unpack the chaos.
First, rewind to September 2023: Enter Roda Osman, the self-proclaimed "Brick Lady" of Houston, who went mega-viral after tearfully claiming an Uber driver hurled a brick at her face for rejecting his creepy advances. Hospital selfies, swollen-lump close-ups, and a GoFundMe raking in $42,000 for her "recovery" had the internet in a rage-fueled frenzy—until surveillance footage dropped the mic. Turns out, *she* was the aggressor, whacking the guy first (with who-knows-what), and he clapped back with... a plastic water bottle. Her story flip-flopped like a bad Ti
First, rewind to September 2023: Enter Roda Osman, the self-proclaimed "Brick Lady" of Houston, who went mega-viral after tearfully claiming an Uber driver hurled a brick at her face for rejecting his creepy advances. Hospital selfies, swollen-lump close-ups, and a GoFundMe raking in $42,000 for her "recovery" had the internet in a rage-fueled frenzy—until surveillance footage dropped the mic. Turns out, *she* was the aggressor, whacking the guy first (with who-knows-what), and he clapped back with... a plastic water bottle. Her story flip-flopped like a bad Tinder bio, and by January 2024, she was slapped with theft-by-deception charges for blowing donor cash on Jamaica jaunts, NYC splurges, and spa days. Fast-forward to October 2024: Guilty as charged, with a 90-day jail stint, 10 years' probation (GPS anklet included), a full $42K payback order, and a decade-long social media ban to boot. The kicker? Jurors had to tell her to chill out post-verdict, and her victim, Olan Douglas, called her a manipulative nightmare who turned his life into "living hell." Embarrassing? This is next-level: From sympathy queen to scam artist in 4K.
Cut to 2025's hotter mess: the boyfriend blackout sweeping TikTok, where straight women are whispering that coupling up is now "culturally loser-ish" and straight-up uncool. It kicked off with a British *Vogue* bombshell by Chante Joseph—"Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?"—positing that in our post-heteronormative doom-scroll era, flaunting a man feels like admitting defeat. Think: muting feeds that start with "my boyf—," cropping dudes out of pics, or "soft-launching" with a blurry hand on a steering wheel to snag partnership perks without the ick. Why the shade? Superstition (jinxing it with the "evil eye"), privacy paranoia (what if it tanks and you're left archiving a digital ex-shrine?), and clout calculus—influencers like Stephanie Yeboah tanked followers after "hard-launching" their guys, with comments roasting trips as "beige" or boyfriends as "lame Republicans." TikTok's flooded with "period vogue" vibes: women joking about blurring faces or celebrating singledom as the real flex, amid a vibe where heterosexuality feels like a sinking ship and solo life screams empowerment. Even coupled gals nod along, admitting it dials down their "aura."
But hold up—not everyone's buying the boycott. *Evie Magazine* fires back: This ain't embarrassment; it's clout-chasing cynicism, where women dodge vulnerability to stay "feminist" and feed the algorithm, romanticizing isolation over intimacy. Psychologist Dr. Ana Yudin calls it out as Gen Z's selfish twenties trap—delaying real growth for superficial single flexes that leave you emotionally marooned by 30. And *The Guardian*'s Emma Beddington? She laughs it off: "No affectionate, non-abusive relationship is uncool," unless you're dating a DiCaprio-type age-gap disaster. Bottom line: Boyfriends aren't the problem; performative detachment and "heterofatalism" are, turning love into a PR nightmare.
So, verdict in the embarrassment Olympics? Brick Lady wins gold for felony-level fraud and a lifetime L, but boyfriends snag silver for turning everyday romance into a viral villain arc. Either way, in 2025's scroll-or-perish society, the real loser is anyone still trusting a GoFundMe—or their own thirst trap judgment. Who's your pick for peak embarrassment?### Boyfriends or Brick Lady: Which Embarrassment Takes the Crown?
In the wild world of viral embarrassments, two scandals are duking it out for ultimate facepalm supremacy: the TikTok-fueled freakout over "embarrassing" boyfriends—as we discussed before—and the Houston hustler's brick-flinging hoax that's left a trail of bad checks and worse excuses. One's a soft-launch social media sigh; the other's a hard-knock scam straight out of a true-crime TikTok. But who's really got the deeper shade? Let's unpack the chaos.
First, rewind to September 2023: Enter Roda Osman, the self-proclaimed "Brick Lady" of Houston, who went mega-viral after tearfully claiming an Uber driver hurled a brick at her face for rejecting his creepy advances. Hospital selfies, swollen-lump close-ups, and a GoFundMe raking in $42,000 for her "recovery" had the internet in a rage-fueled frenzy—until surveillance footage dropped the mic. Turns out, *she* was the aggressor, whacking the guy first (with who-knows-what), and he clapped back with... a plastic water bottle. Her story flip-flopped like a bad Ti
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Podcasting since two thousand and five.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
This is the King of Podcasts Radio network, Kingopodcasts dot com.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
The having a boyfriend Embarrassing debate continues. We're all a
little depraved and debaucherous.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Here is the King of Podcasts.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Following up on last week's episode where we talked about
the article from British Vogue is having a boyfriend embarrassing?
We're going to continue on that tonight and get where
there's been a lot of feedback on the subject here
on the Prey than the Butchers. We're going to go
into all that tonight, but first of all, we have
to go into a story that happened back at twenty
(00:44):
twenty three. And you know, I didn't know we were
going to get back to this again, but it's deserving
to go back to one more time because of what happened,
and I'm talking about the young lady that we knew. Well,
I'll let this story go ahead and explain it for us.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
A woman who raised over forty thousand dollars on GoFundMe
is now being charged with theft by deception.
Speaker 5 (01:10):
What have I ever done anybody of my life to
deserve this?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Rota Osmond told cops that she was hit in the
face with a brick outside of Houston Club after she
refused to give out her phone number, but footage capturing
the incident does not support Rhoda's report, according to charging documents,
and cops say a similar GoFundMe was created in twenty
twenty where she claimed to be assaulted, with no reports
on record.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
GoFundMe told an.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
NBC affiliate that the fundraiser has been removed from their
platform and Rhoda has been banned from creating future fundraisers.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yes, the name Rhoda osmin ninety days in jail, treatment,
forty two thousand dollars rescidition, ten years probation, a ten
year social media ban, and if she violates as social
media ban in whatever shape, way, shape or form, ten
years in prison. Couldn't have happened to a better person.
(02:08):
This was important and also a full restitution of the
exact amount was forty three and two dollars that she
took from a GoF on the account. Now, I want
to go back and talk about what I talked about.
This is going back to September sixth, twenty twenty three. Now,
the name we heard known as was Roe bash or
(02:30):
row underscore reports on TikTok and the girls based in
Houston reportedly hit with a brick after rejecting a guy,
giving off a lot of mixed signals of her identity
and was it all just for attention? So here's what
I said back just about two years ago, and so
you have all this here. I'm not sure what to
think of this young lady because there's obviously two signs
(02:54):
that everybody's trying to put these two different areas. But
it doesn't make sense for the fact that she has
all these credentials and she's working to make her career
for herself. But then there's this other side of her
that works after she slaps the guy in the face,
and she does that as a bit of a trend.
(03:15):
And she also doesn't have any issues bashing men because
she hates men for the most part. They're not protectors,
are not providers, and that women are better off predicting
and providing for themselves. That's fine. Can we just say
the real real port out loud? Well, everything that I
(03:35):
thought my suspicions were true? And can we also remember
what the women that were out there defending RHO to
Austin were saying back in those days. By the way,
if you want to get a little idea of who
she was, let's play back a little bit of what
she was her take back then, Yeah, this is.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
The first time I've even acknowledged as unhinged woman, a
queen of accountability, the queen of delusion. She calls herself
a life coach with no emotional intelligence. And she's a
fake lawyer too, because apparently she's suing me. And she's
a fake police officer because apparently she has an investigation
on me. And apparently she's a fake judge because she's
(04:14):
about to put a felony on me, a fake prosecutor
because she's about to put a felony on me too.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
This is condition well, it's already done anyway. Now let's
go into the women that also decide to go and
defend this young lady after all that happened, because there's
a lot more to this, and I'm gonna go play
back with some of these women were saying defending her
blindly and unfortunately now it's unfortunately they thought that she
(04:41):
was correct and they believed in her. But here's what
some of those women that defended her said at the time, I.
Speaker 6 (04:47):
Want me get this straight.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
A black woman gets hit in the face with a
brick for rejecting a man while a bunch of other
men are standing around watching, and y'all are trying to
villainize her. It's crazy is that the men are too
scared to step in for a woman in a scenario
like this, right, because the men are just as afraid
of men.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
As women are.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Gay is a man who will enact as kind of
violence upon a woman is normally too much of a
bitch to do the same thing.
Speaker 7 (05:13):
To a man.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
I've been trying to calm my nervous cessit down to
talk about this black women getting hit with a break
in front of a whole bunch of black men who
did nothing to help protect her and were like, it's
not our job to protect.
Speaker 6 (05:22):
Black women, blah blah blah, we don't have to do that.
It's not for you all.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Admit that men fucking scare you.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Well, that all went back and went the wrong way,
So the story goes on. We're gonna talk about this
real quick and just make a point that tonight's program
is being in tribute to Rhoda Osman, who is truly
depray to debatress and that's why we talked about her
on this program. So I'm taking a story from the
route and let's bring up work goes on here. When
(05:50):
she put out her help wrote to recover the fundraiser
got her forty two thousand dollars. Now she's ordered to
pay it all back after she's found guilty of death
by deception. January twenty twenty four, Ostin was charged with
the felony for securing thousands where she spent trips on
Jamaica and New York restaurants and spas. And she'd already
(06:12):
s been part of a GoFundMe scam back in twenty
twenty for an a leegend sault that police said was
never reported from the platform. A refund of the donors
and there we go done, and she is no longer
a factor. But I thought it would be important I
brought this story up a little over two years ago,
(06:33):
so we need to go and make point that there's
closure to that. Wipe our hands of it. There we
go done. Now back to the story about it is
having a boyfriend embarrassing. Now A lot of discussion about this,
and I want to get into a couple of stories
that have focused on the feedback that is going on
on social media about this, because it's been flooding my
(06:53):
TikTok for you page a lot. Inside Hook takes in
real quick about women think that having a boy friend
is embarrassing now and then maybe just onto something. So
this is roughly a week and a half later that
inside Hook gets into this and to refresh listeners here
(07:14):
she admits to herself that she mutes or unfollows women
at their social media feed start with becoming my boyfriend, Divide,
They're out her article explaining there's a clear shift in
how people are sharing their relationships online and for several
different reasons, and many related posts have been going viral
as a result of this article. It's great that the
(07:35):
debates out there, the conversations out there, because I still
take for what was being said in the What was
being written in the article is that women are brave,
vindictive of other women that have boyfriends, and they're the
ones that are calling the women with those boyfriends embarrassing,
and the women who have those boyfriends are having to
(07:56):
go ahead and deal with the judgment of is it
true that their boyfriend is embarrassing or are they just
being manipulated to think so so women can relate to this.
So let's get some of the comments have been out
there on TikTok. Here's one that went out there a lot,
and I don't agree with her, but we're gonna play
(08:19):
her back just to see what she said was all
about this.
Speaker 8 (08:24):
I'm at home and I just got done reading is
having a boyfriend and embarrassing? And as a single woman
living alone in her thirties, I have thoughts. First of all,
I felt like for a long time, when I would
be in social settings and I would say like, yeah,
I'm thirty three and I'm single, I would always get
these like sad puppy.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
Eyes, like poor her, she doesn't have a boyfriend. So
I'm so excited that society is finally switching the narrative.
Speaker 8 (08:46):
And the reason why I'm so excited is not because
I think having a boyfriend is embarrassing.
Speaker 6 (08:51):
I don't think that at all.
Speaker 8 (08:52):
In fact, I think in a world filled with hate,
seeing love is actually refreshing and a beautiful.
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Thing every once in a while.
Speaker 8 (08:59):
But I think it's so exciting because women are finally
waking up to the idea that having a boyfriend is
basically the least interesting.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
Thing about you.
Speaker 8 (09:07):
Someone who is a great example of this statement is
actually Aliah's face.
Speaker 6 (09:11):
That girl has a boyfriend and you will never know.
Speaker 8 (09:14):
In fact, sometimes I freaking forget because homegirl has so
many things going on that her boyfriend is like the
last important thing, the least important thing about her, the
least interesting.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
Thing about her. She is going to.
Speaker 8 (09:27):
Pilates, she's practicing her Spanish, she's running marathons, she's hanging
out with her friends, she's taking solo days, she's traveling somewhere.
That girl has so much going on that her boyfriend
is not a pedestal, and therefore it's not embarrassing.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
For her to have a boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
But the thing is, it's not even a boyfriend. Let's
just make that clear. What she's thinking right there about
that particular creator is. I mean, Kay's not even around
when she's out jet sitting and doing other things and
living your life. Yeah, there's not much of a boyfriend there.
It could be a situationship. It could be that he
doesn't know what's going on, but he could be cheated
(10:03):
on anyway. If that's the case, now that's not a
boyfriend and for her to go and you know, make
the point of oh, so the guy is not a priority. Well,
for some woman it might be, but there is something
to be said about a woman that does have a
boyfriend and has a night a life besides the boyfriend.
And I think there's something that we said about that too,
where there are some women that you know, they have
(10:24):
such a void and such a loneliness that they have,
and maybe they don't have as many friends or they
don't want to be caught up in the fact that
other friends are theirs, you know, as they've grown up.
This thirty three year old young lady very attractive. For
her case, there is one thing to be said about
who those friends are that gave her the sad puppy
(10:44):
dog guys saying, oh, you don't have a boyfriend, because
the other ones might be married or might have their
own boyfriends by their thirties, if they're equally around the
same age, Yeah, probably half of them probably have boyfriends,
long term relationships, or are married and with children. So
for her, she chose not to go that route. That's
(11:04):
okay for whatever reason. But it goes back to my
original point that I said last week where I was
concerned about women and the fact that they're single, and
I think there's something to be looked at about that,
and it concerns me and I don't like the fact
that women are being stuck and being made to be single.
So I'm gonna play back real quick what I said
(11:25):
last week about this, because I think it is important
to make the distinction about where it's all came from.
But them. Here is what I said about this last week.
Even though I know women are probably not with boyfriends
right now, It's like, I don't want women single women
(11:45):
to not have boyfriends. I don't want or girlfriends whatever.
I don't want single women to stay single. That's a problem,
it's an epidemic. I feel bad for women that are single.
I wish they weren't. I wish they could find love,
and I wish they weren't hurt or going through the
things that being modern independent come with that. They're done
(12:11):
that way because of the fact of what has gone
through with them in their time, even trying to be
relationships for whatever reason, what wasn't that caused them to
stay single. Now, there's obviously two sides to each coin,
but for me. I'm looking at the perspective of saying
that the modern independent women didn't just become the modern
(12:34):
independent woman. There's a course of the indoctrination the women
that are having either their mothers or their sisters or
cousins or whoever from the family, and then their friends
that are also influencing them to where they're going to
go with their lives. But love initially for most of
these women, I would think a most all women usually
(12:55):
starts with love, usually starts with possible relationships, going back
to high school, going onto college, you would think that
thing kind of that would might possibly happen. But what
happens here is that when you start seeing other women
that are in relationships and then you see the breakoff
where other women are together. It's not like every woman
is together in a sorority, where like if you're in
(13:16):
a sorority, you know, how often do those sorority sisters
have their own citific others or partners because they have
each other, and that kind of sorority mentality kind of
comes into playing because if those young women want to
go and go out, you know, if one of them
is not gonna be is gonna be taken then it's
like there's the bachelor red party, who's going You know,
(13:38):
it's very rare if a woe's gonna go hang go
out with the girls, because the boyfriend probably won't want
to have that necessarily in some rare occasions, or if
it's like something that's said where she's going out with
the girls, he's going out all the guys, if that's
already been planned out. I don't know if that's not
much of that anyway right now. But the thing is,
for women, it's a choice who they want to be
(14:01):
with that's obvious, a woman that's very that's attractive, or
just you know what. Ninety five percent of women, I
would imagine it would not be hard for them at
all to find the date, find a boyfriend, find a girlfriend, whatever.
But the thing is that what is it that happened
to them, Whether it was some guy who was abusive
(14:25):
or narcissistic or manipulative, or was just you know, lightweight,
or he was weak, or he was just no good,
just was awkward or embarrassing, and they decided to go
and let them go. But after trial and error, I
think most all women would be able to go and
find a relationship or find love because it was like
(14:47):
that before social media. What changed. Social media caused it.
So now we're at this point where social media is
the contuit of this whole discussion here, because that's what's
called not just women around their own circles, but women
around following them as the influencer they're going to be.
(15:10):
They're all piling up and saying, if you are showing
off your boyfriend, soft launch, hard launch, if you're just
showing them off at random points, Yeah, they're saying it's embarrassing,
and those women are being affected by it, and women,
I would imagine would be much more vulnerable to the
kind of feedback that's on social media. Guys, I don't
think it would have that so much. But women absolutely
(15:33):
are affected by what is being said to them on
social media. And it's not just a friend. It's more
than just the friends in their circles. Now it's social
media that causes it too. Now here's another perspective that
came out from TikTok on this ongoing issue about women
thinking having a boyfriend is embarrassing.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Several people have asked me for my thoughts on the
British Vogue article. Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now by
Chantae Joseph. Sorry my mouth is now my headental surgery
this morning, And I did talk about this on this
prosos podcast. But I think that this article is dead
on and genius and not somebody in a committed relationship.
And I think that if you have a partner, if
you're in a relationship with a man and you found
(16:10):
this article insulting, the call is coming from inside the house.
I don't think the intention was to tell you not
to get into a happy, healthy relationship. But if you
feel the need to explain yourself and defend yourself, ask
yourself why you're doing that, because to me, that wasn't
the point.
Speaker 6 (16:25):
Of the article.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
The article starts out by discussing how back in the
twenty tens and even like early twenty twenties, it was
clouded to post your relationship online and it was seen
as like aspirational and esthetic, and couple's content was so
viral and so popular and so good, and everybody viewed
having a male partner as like an achievement and accomplishment,
and it was applauded and it was something to strive for.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
But also it's something that social media at the onset
when people were getting it beyond Facebook or Instagram or Twitter.
I mean again, this is well before TikTok. I think
talk just amplified this even more. But yeah, think about
it if you just had pictures up there and you're
seeing women out there with their boyfriends flaunting them and
(17:09):
showing off. Because with social media, we all kind of learned, hey,
if you want to go ahead and you know, pump
your chest and inflate your ego, then you go ahead
and show look who look who I am. It's show
and tell. It's like in elementary school, it's show and tell,
and that's what we're doing right now. So for women
like this young legal was saying, yeah, it was the
(17:31):
end thing to do. But now we're in fatigue and
of course the underbelly of social media of people that
can't help but see other people fail or other people
that they need to be miserable like they are. The
keyboard warriors are out there, that's the other part that's
coming in and they're starting to get a voice here
and the women need to go and start learning to
(17:53):
not pay attention to it.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
But the tides have really turned as it relates to
online and people now like don't want to see male partners,
influencers or of anybody.
Speaker 6 (18:01):
They don't care about that kind of content. It's not
interesting to them. Specifically, as women.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Have shown up on the internet void of male partners
that have been totally interesting, whole, complete and just fabulous
on their own.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
But now one aspect of that is that you've had
women that, because of that social media aspect, they've gone
to be more modern independent women because now you have
that platform to show and tell, to show off to
all the other girls out there, oh look how I'm living.
But it's also the idea where okay, all the traumatic
(18:35):
issues or whatever kind of things that happened to women
that made them find boyfriends that did not work out
for whatever reason, toxic relationships, red flags, all that. Now
that you have women able to go on social media
and air their dirty laundry because there's no filter to it,
(18:58):
and then you have the people out they're willing to
go ahead and listen in and you know, here's a
virtual kleanex from social media to go ahead and say,
go girl, so sorry to hear that men are bad,
men are evil, men are mean men or pieces of shit.
All that you get that kind of content out there.
And then the idea is that social media creates this
(19:20):
whole thing of like, well, open your eyes, you could
be adventurous as much as you want. Okay, And this
is all counter to what social media did, okay, because
think about like this too. Then we had the part
where up until twenty nineteen, up until COVID, where everybody
was jet setting, adventure, vacations, this and that, go out
(19:40):
and do whatever, and men, women, excuse me, women need
to go ahead and find a way to go and
be able to make their ends meet so they can
do those things. Some of them might have gone the
sugar duty route. Some of them might have had boyfriends
that they might have gotten money from and things from,
and then they would go and convert that and to
be able to do things with themselves. But then there's
als no more. We're like women were out there showing, hey,
(20:02):
I'm able to go ahead and live in this place,
worked this job, do all these different things and look
at me. I'm pretty, I'm beautiful, and I can do
whatever I want. And of course that's your twenties and
thirties adventure. And then COVID happened, and then everybody got
stuck at home, and now that itching to get out
and do everything. So all these vacation plans everybody had,
(20:24):
when everything finally opened, all back up for everybody. You know,
it's completely open now for years. But like all that
frustration of being locked down, even for a short while,
everybody got out there and said, Okay, we're going to
just live it up. And so now women on social
media have gotten to the point where they don't want
to see anybody happy. And again, people on social media
(20:48):
they want to see people fail. They want to see
people become miserable, the downfall people. It's not even like
where people like see a downfall story and then see
the comeback. They don't even want that. They just want
see somebody to go and be dead and gone. You're
a dead horse, you're bloodied, were we're going to keep
shooting your carcass because that doesn't matter. They want to
(21:08):
keep seeing you down, pummeled, bloodied, never coming back. That's
what they want.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Now.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
There is some men that also talked on here and
what coming from a guy saying this is a wake
up call for men. But we're not going to play
this guy's comments because I got some stuff to say
about this.
Speaker 9 (21:28):
Vogue just posted an article saying having a boyfriend is embarrassing.
I think for men, this is a wake up call
to the smart, independent woman, good salary, nice place. We
provide no benefit, We are no longer the priority. In fact,
we're probably a burden to them. We need to realize
having a girlfriend is a privilege and our duty is
(21:51):
to raise them up and make them the most successful
version of themselves.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Okay, there's a lot to god and say about this,
But the thing is that we're not supposed feel guilty
as men. Okay, because those aspiring, modern independent women that
want to be successful. Yes, we're no benefit to them,
but who says we need to do anything about that?
(22:17):
Why is it our priority? Go ahead and make ourselves
more valuable for them. They don't care anymore. This guy's
got it wrong. The girlfriend is a privilege. No, having
a boyfriend is a privilege, which the other way around.
I mean, it doesn't matter if a woman wants to
go and do what they wants. Is if a guy
wants to be in love, then you go ahead and
take the risk of you know, if you've got to
(22:39):
find a woman, you hopefully find a woman that's gonna
be there for love and not for what you have,
not what you have in your wallet, not what you
having your bank account, not what you have in your
investments your portfolio, okay, and not for what you do
for a living. This guy's talking about, there's like guys
need to do better? What do we do? Okay? For
(23:00):
the guys that do need to be told something, they're
the ones that cause these women to become modern independent
one in the first place, because this is not just
that is a choice. That is a choice to go
modern independent, and we don't need a man fuck them
all this kind of thing. That's the choice of the women. Now,
(23:21):
I will say there are probably of men that fuck
things up for guys like us. That's what actually happened.
So it's not at this point when they've already become
modern independent, that's a lost cause you're not gonna get them.
You're gonna do so much crap now to even go
ahead and land a woman like that. You have the
(23:41):
ultra successful and then what you realize is when you're
with a woman that is modern independent, successful and has
their own money and has her own lifestyle, then you're
not gonna be with her for anything else because you
offer nothing that she wants. But there are still women
out there that can show they have something to offer
to men instead of only offering what they want for themselves.
(24:05):
Because for some modern independent women, that's selfish, but that's okay.
They can do that. Maybe they'll go ahead and change
their mind and say, you know what I want love
too well, that I have to come to a compromise
because that lifestyle is only gonna last for so long
for them unless they want to stay alone. Because how
many guys are gonna want to go and be involved
in that. That's why we're seeing a lot more people
(24:26):
be single now than ever. But that's where you have
to go and curb this at a younger age. This
is why I'm talking about this to younger men on
a regular basis. Younger men, younger women. Guys, you have
to be smarter to not make mistakes when you first
get together with a girl. You gotta there's enough information
to resources on social media, and I love you know,
(24:48):
people with some wisdom like myself. I think that can
tell you you got to do right by these girls
when you have the chance to hold onto them before
they get indoctrinated into all this shit that's going on
right now. Now, it's fine. Women are gonna feel like
they're gonna get what they want regardless of the situation.
I would prefer they still be able to go and
(25:09):
find love in their lives for some healthy relationship. But
that's not possible now. But the healthy relationships have to
start at the beginning. You have little room for failure. Now.
If you are a teenager or in your twenties and
you have a girl that you're getting with and it's
one of the first relationships she's got, you have little failure.
(25:31):
But that doesn't mean you have to be absolutely perfect either.
What you have to do is be transparent, be honest,
and be in the relationship for the right reasons. You
can't just go into a relationship with a girl now
at a younger age and think, oh, there's other girls
out there. No, if you're gonna choose one, the sea
is not that full of women like it once was,
(25:53):
because it's a matter of time before some of those
women are gonna get caught up and some scumbag's gonna
go ahead and be like, you know, ruthless to We're
sleep with her, not care about her, and move on. Now,
those kind of guys are gonna be around, Okay, the Jiggilos,
the players, they're still gonna be out there. But if
you find a girl and you have your opportunity, you
better hold on to her. Choose wisely and be as
(26:18):
honest as the transparent as you can. Don't be as
simp but just be open to the girl. Play the
game right and you'll win. But you're not gonna win
like this guy is thinking, going after the girls that
have already been a doctorated Okay, that have already been binwashed.
They're already going to go their route. You're not gonna
(26:38):
change them. Let's get back to this guy.
Speaker 9 (26:41):
That might mean doing the laundry and picking up the dishes.
It might mean working harder to support them so they
can go back to school. It might mean just focusing
on ourselves more to be the best versions of ourselves
to inspire them to want to do the same. I
think a healthy relationship involves both people raising each other
up to be the best versions of themselves and doing
(27:02):
whatever they can to support that person to be able
to do that.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
But that has to be both ways. Buddy. The thing is, okay,
the part about you know, carrying your own weight. That
should be a given. I mean guys, I mean, how
many guys get to go ahead and live that traditional
relationship like they're like Archie Bunker and Edith is running
around doing all the work around the house, cooking and
cleaning and ironing and all that stuff. I don't think
many guys you're worrying about that too much anymore. Got
(27:29):
a lot more guys that are being involved because they
have to, because we have the relationships have modernized. I
would think maybe there's still some traditional relationships out there.
There's social tradwise they talk about, right, but I've never
seen that. The thing is that what our parents and
grandparents had, it's not like it is now. It's all changed.
(27:50):
So the thing is that for this guy to go
and say we got to raise other women up, well,
it's got to be reciprocal. What are they doing to
raise us up too? Only going to be concerned about
her well first of all? Were her well being is
one thing. Her safety, absolutely, But if you're talking about
her success, okay, but then what about our success? So
(28:13):
we're supposed to go and give all our support over
to her, and she doesn't give anything back to us.
It's not fair, it's not right. That's not a healthy relationship, buddy,
I don't think so anyway.
Speaker 9 (28:27):
Right now, I don't think men are doing that. I
think men don't really provide a benefit. We need to
figure out how to provide that benefit. So we are
no longer embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
No, no, no.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
But the thing is, this is all bullshit. This guy.
You're talking about women that are far gone. You can't
work with them. They're not going to be pliable. They're
not willing to go ahead and be meaningable to what
you're saying here. So it's all the guy's fault. No.
(29:03):
And the thing is, if guys feel like they're ere
gonna do this, it's a lost cause. So deal with
it or get out. But there's no way around that.
I mean, if you get yourself locked in with a
girl like that, yeah, it's all gonna change. You're not
gonna really do much of that at all. And there's
more talk about this here we go.
Speaker 7 (29:24):
According to Vogue, having a boyfriend is embarrassing. And here's
my story on why I think this is true. I
was in the fitting room Azara, and this man was
being told by his girlfriend. You know, I think you
should wear this. You know you should wear that, He goes,
Can you stop bitch now? I felt embarrassed for her.
I understand everybody's in a relationship for different reasons. There's trauma,
(29:46):
there's whatever, the fuck you know.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
I get that.
Speaker 7 (29:48):
However, I felt embarrassed for her because that is her partner,
that's who she chooses. And what I think Vogue was
saying was that, yes, having a boyfriend is embarrassing if
you attach yourself to someone who is pulling you down,
who is not good for you, speaks about you.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
You know.
Speaker 7 (30:04):
It's like when somebody shows up to a professional event
with a wrinkled ash shirt on, buttoned and untucked. You're
kind of just looking at them, like, you know, appearance
does mean something, and in this case, having a man
that devalues you does mean something and is embarrassing. In
the most big brother loving kind of respectful way. It
(30:24):
is embarrassing, and you should not I, as a man,
gets secondhand embarrassment. Embarrassment when a growth sides to stay
with a man like that.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Well, the thing that you can't change one that's gonna
think that way. That's another story. We're talking about women
that are dating guys with red flags and the kind
of guys they choose to be with. You know, it's
also the perception they're not ever gonna pick the guy
that's gonna treat a girl well. I mean that will
absolutely do whatever it takes to make a girl happy.
That's not who they choose. But that's because they have
(30:57):
to go through traveling error and realize, okay, well, eventually
they're going to learn the lesson the hard way that
they're worth the wrong guy. But the thing is for them,
I don't feel ebarrassed because of the fact that I
hope that the woman as long as she's not getting abused,
as long as she's realizing that she has a support
system around her to say, hey, you know, there's something
(31:19):
about this guy. Look at how he acts around you.
Like that's one of those things, like you're in the holidays,
you start realizing a guy that's with a girl, and
you start getting the chance to go and get to
know the person, and you know, other of this girl,
of this boyfriend that she's with, and you'll realize what
he's all about.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
You know.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
It's like you go to the Thanksgiving dinner table or
the Christmas dinner table, and they bring him over, you'll
realize that this guy is that worth it a while
or not. You know, the thing is just that women
are gonna have to learn it themselves. They do choose badly,
sometimes not all, but many. They can choose badly. That's okay,
(31:57):
so maybe they'll learn after that. But that's not even
so much embarrassing what this guy was talking about. That's
just demeaning. It's I wouldn't even say humliating. He's not
even a good word. But it's callous because the guy
is a scumbag if he's talking down and the girl
(32:19):
for whatever reason, Okay, this guy has no patience. He
has a short triggered temper to get upset over Oh
you should wear this, wear that. He can't just say nah,
I don't like that. You can't just be as simple
as that. Okay, if the guy's gonna snap, there's something,
there's something there. We don't know why, or who knows
that the girl even cares if that's how he kind
(32:40):
of acts, but you know, for her, for this guy
to take this one example and trying to make it
more like in this, that's not so much embarrassing. It's
just women will pick guys with red flags. That's very
much common that can ever definitely happen. There are two
other takes that came in here. The Guardian also has
talked about this here, where there was one lady that
(33:01):
actually talked about the fact that the relationship that she's
in is also in a relationship with embarrassing. She says
that her husband having a husband's embarrassing. It's probably worse.
I'm used to being an embarrassment, apparently to teenagers, but
it's a blow as bad as skinny jeans being declared unacceptable.
(33:21):
I hardly ever mentioned my spouse online since he thinks
social media is the opium of the intellectually feeble, but
may maybe I should raise him entirely Trotzky style from
my instagrid So you know, there's another part where this
woman wants to go and make this point about that
there could be things where there is interesting is boyfriends
(33:42):
or husbands that could be embarrassing. Absolutely, there's guys that
could just be kind of quirky or goofy or whatever.
The other story came out here was from Evie magazine.
Another direction of this saying having a boyfriend is not
embarrassing your need for cloud is saying that misery's easiest
power move is pretending the right the things your peers
enjoy are actually beneath you, And for a lot of
(34:03):
young and young women, that thing is love. They talk
about the fact that the mindset and avoidant behavior that
falls is rewarded by audiences that who lament that the
women they follow on social media for entertainment so predictably
become watered down bage versus of themselves. Once a boyfriend
enters a picture, they're not willing to stick around and
be proven wrong. But again, you're worrying about women for
(34:24):
women that look at other women on social media, for
the social media crowd, why are you carrying about what
they think? I mean, of course you want the audience
to go ahead and be placating to you. But you
know what, politics and love are very polarizing on social media.
And the truth is it's really a matter of how
you position yourself on social media that you really can't
(34:45):
put that much of yourself out there. You got to
play yourself as a role, as a character, as I've
always thought about when I got on social media in
the first place. It's a promotional tool and you have
to understand that not everyone's going to like who you
are if you try to open yourself up, it's just
not going to be that way. They're going to say
they're at public facing women are mass unfollowed the moment
they announced they are booed up. This issses is cringy
(35:08):
and or embarrassing even by other women in relationships the
unobscure boyfriend. Then it's not just the relationship status marker.
It's the single of how male centered a woman is.
And someone report fearing the evil eye, the idea that
posting their happy relationship online would spark jealousy so strong
that the relationship could come to an end. Others say
they don't want to be boastful in an area of
(35:29):
widespread romantic discontentment. Others being more utilitarian and their concerns
worrying that the relationship could end, they can be stuck
with the digital footprint littered with the evidence of their
ex boyfriend's imprint on their lives. So this point is
as I'm going with it. You know, it's social media
that's the whole problem with this. Make this clear, and
(35:52):
the women are the ones that are being critical of
other women, and that is the story that the article
was entailing. If you didn't think it was, that's what
it was. But I'm glad that the conversation continues and
we'll see if you keep going on with this on
a forthcoming episode. You never know, but I mean, you
(36:13):
could only find out by trial and error. So don't
worry about boyfriends being embarrassing for some women that are
not out on the outside looking in as someone having
a boyfriend. Try it out for yourselves. But at least
the one thing is, don't be so bitter. Maybe you
could do something a little bit more for yourself to
enjoy your time. You know, there's something to be said
(36:35):
about you don't have to be in a relationship and
being able with a boyfriend. I mean, but the thing is,
you want to find a little cure to if you
want to be modern independent that maybe you want to
have a little bit of time to go ahead and
not be lonely. You need to get laid, then maybe
take some time to be a little bit praise and
(36:57):
the botress
Podcasting since two thousand and five.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
This is the King of Podcasts Radio network, Kingopodcasts dot com.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
The having a boyfriend Embarrassing debate continues. We're all a
little depraved and debaucherous.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Here is the King of Podcasts.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Following up on last week's episode where we talked about
the article from British Vogue is having a boyfriend embarrassing?
We're going to continue on that tonight and get where
there's been a lot of feedback on the subject here
on the Prey than the Butchers. We're going to go
into all that tonight, but first of all, we have
to go into a story that happened back at twenty
(00:44):
twenty three. And you know, I didn't know we were
going to get back to this again, but it's deserving
to go back to one more time because of what happened,
and I'm talking about the young lady that we knew. Well,
I'll let this story go ahead and explain it for us.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
A woman who raised over forty thousand dollars on GoFundMe
is now being charged with theft by deception.
Speaker 5 (01:10):
What have I ever done anybody of my life to
deserve this?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Rota Osmond told cops that she was hit in the
face with a brick outside of Houston Club after she
refused to give out her phone number, but footage capturing
the incident does not support Rhoda's report, according to charging documents,
and cops say a similar GoFundMe was created in twenty
twenty where she claimed to be assaulted, with no reports
on record.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
GoFundMe told an.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
NBC affiliate that the fundraiser has been removed from their
platform and Rhoda has been banned from creating future fundraisers.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yes, the name Rhoda osmin ninety days in jail, treatment,
forty two thousand dollars rescidition, ten years probation, a ten
year social media ban, and if she violates as social
media ban in whatever shape, way, shape or form, ten
years in prison. Couldn't have happened to a better person.
(02:08):
This was important and also a full restitution of the
exact amount was forty three and two dollars that she
took from a GoF on the account. Now, I want
to go back and talk about what I talked about.
This is going back to September sixth, twenty twenty three. Now,
the name we heard known as was Roe bash or
(02:30):
row underscore reports on TikTok and the girls based in
Houston reportedly hit with a brick after rejecting a guy,
giving off a lot of mixed signals of her identity
and was it all just for attention? So here's what
I said back just about two years ago, and so
you have all this here. I'm not sure what to
think of this young lady because there's obviously two signs
(02:54):
that everybody's trying to put these two different areas. But
it doesn't make sense for the fact that she has
all these credentials and she's working to make her career
for herself. But then there's this other side of her
that works after she slaps the guy in the face,
and she does that as a bit of a trend.
(03:15):
And she also doesn't have any issues bashing men because
she hates men for the most part. They're not protectors,
are not providers, and that women are better off predicting
and providing for themselves. That's fine. Can we just say
the real real port out loud? Well, everything that I
(03:35):
thought my suspicions were true? And can we also remember
what the women that were out there defending RHO to
Austin were saying back in those days. By the way,
if you want to get a little idea of who
she was, let's play back a little bit of what
she was her take back then, Yeah, this is.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
The first time I've even acknowledged as unhinged woman, a
queen of accountability, the queen of delusion. She calls herself
a life coach with no emotional intelligence. And she's a
fake lawyer too, because apparently she's suing me. And she's
a fake police officer because apparently she has an investigation
on me. And apparently she's a fake judge because she's
(04:14):
about to put a felony on me, a fake prosecutor
because she's about to put a felony on me too.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
This is condition well, it's already done anyway. Now let's
go into the women that also decide to go and
defend this young lady after all that happened, because there's
a lot more to this, and I'm gonna go play
back with some of these women were saying defending her
blindly and unfortunately now it's unfortunately they thought that she
(04:41):
was correct and they believed in her. But here's what
some of those women that defended her said at the time, I.
Speaker 6 (04:47):
Want me get this straight.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
A black woman gets hit in the face with a
brick for rejecting a man while a bunch of other
men are standing around watching, and y'all are trying to
villainize her. It's crazy is that the men are too
scared to step in for a woman in a scenario
like this, right, because the men are just as afraid
of men.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
As women are.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Gay is a man who will enact as kind of
violence upon a woman is normally too much of a
bitch to do the same thing.
Speaker 7 (05:13):
To a man.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
I've been trying to calm my nervous cessit down to
talk about this black women getting hit with a break
in front of a whole bunch of black men who
did nothing to help protect her and were like, it's
not our job to protect.
Speaker 6 (05:22):
Black women, blah blah blah, we don't have to do that.
It's not for you all.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Admit that men fucking scare you.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Well, that all went back and went the wrong way,
So the story goes on. We're gonna talk about this
real quick and just make a point that tonight's program
is being in tribute to Rhoda Osman, who is truly
depray to debatress and that's why we talked about her
on this program. So I'm taking a story from the
route and let's bring up work goes on here. When
(05:50):
she put out her help wrote to recover the fundraiser
got her forty two thousand dollars. Now she's ordered to
pay it all back after she's found guilty of death
by deception. January twenty twenty four, Ostin was charged with
the felony for securing thousands where she spent trips on
Jamaica and New York restaurants and spas. And she'd already
(06:12):
s been part of a GoFundMe scam back in twenty
twenty for an a leegend sault that police said was
never reported from the platform. A refund of the donors
and there we go done, and she is no longer
a factor. But I thought it would be important I
brought this story up a little over two years ago,
(06:33):
so we need to go and make point that there's
closure to that. Wipe our hands of it. There we
go done. Now back to the story about it is
having a boyfriend embarrassing. Now A lot of discussion about this,
and I want to get into a couple of stories
that have focused on the feedback that is going on
on social media about this, because it's been flooding my
(06:53):
TikTok for you page a lot. Inside Hook takes in
real quick about women think that having a boy friend
is embarrassing now and then maybe just onto something. So
this is roughly a week and a half later that
inside Hook gets into this and to refresh listeners here
(07:14):
she admits to herself that she mutes or unfollows women
at their social media feed start with becoming my boyfriend, Divide,
They're out her article explaining there's a clear shift in
how people are sharing their relationships online and for several
different reasons, and many related posts have been going viral
as a result of this article. It's great that the
(07:35):
debates out there, the conversations out there, because I still
take for what was being said in the What was
being written in the article is that women are brave,
vindictive of other women that have boyfriends, and they're the
ones that are calling the women with those boyfriends embarrassing,
and the women who have those boyfriends are having to
(07:56):
go ahead and deal with the judgment of is it
true that their boyfriend is embarrassing or are they just
being manipulated to think so so women can relate to this.
So let's get some of the comments have been out
there on TikTok. Here's one that went out there a lot,
and I don't agree with her, but we're gonna play
(08:19):
her back just to see what she said was all
about this.
Speaker 8 (08:24):
I'm at home and I just got done reading is
having a boyfriend and embarrassing? And as a single woman
living alone in her thirties, I have thoughts. First of all,
I felt like for a long time, when I would
be in social settings and I would say like, yeah,
I'm thirty three and I'm single, I would always get
these like sad puppy.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
Eyes, like poor her, she doesn't have a boyfriend. So
I'm so excited that society is finally switching the narrative.
Speaker 8 (08:46):
And the reason why I'm so excited is not because
I think having a boyfriend is embarrassing.
Speaker 6 (08:51):
I don't think that at all.
Speaker 8 (08:52):
In fact, I think in a world filled with hate,
seeing love is actually refreshing and a beautiful.
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Thing every once in a while.
Speaker 8 (08:59):
But I think it's so exciting because women are finally
waking up to the idea that having a boyfriend is
basically the least interesting.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
Thing about you.
Speaker 8 (09:07):
Someone who is a great example of this statement is
actually Aliah's face.
Speaker 6 (09:11):
That girl has a boyfriend and you will never know.
Speaker 8 (09:14):
In fact, sometimes I freaking forget because homegirl has so
many things going on that her boyfriend is like the
last important thing, the least important thing about her, the
least interesting.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
Thing about her. She is going to.
Speaker 8 (09:27):
Pilates, she's practicing her Spanish, she's running marathons, she's hanging
out with her friends, she's taking solo days, she's traveling somewhere.
That girl has so much going on that her boyfriend
is not a pedestal, and therefore it's not embarrassing.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
For her to have a boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
But the thing is, it's not even a boyfriend. Let's
just make that clear. What she's thinking right there about
that particular creator is. I mean, Kay's not even around
when she's out jet sitting and doing other things and
living your life. Yeah, there's not much of a boyfriend there.
It could be a situationship. It could be that he
doesn't know what's going on, but he could be cheated
(10:03):
on anyway. If that's the case, now that's not a
boyfriend and for her to go and you know, make
the point of oh, so the guy is not a priority. Well,
for some woman it might be, but there is something
to be said about a woman that does have a
boyfriend and has a night a life besides the boyfriend.
And I think there's something that we said about that too,
where there are some women that you know, they have
(10:24):
such a void and such a loneliness that they have,
and maybe they don't have as many friends or they
don't want to be caught up in the fact that
other friends are theirs, you know, as they've grown up.
This thirty three year old young lady very attractive. For
her case, there is one thing to be said about
who those friends are that gave her the sad puppy
(10:44):
dog guys saying, oh, you don't have a boyfriend, because
the other ones might be married or might have their
own boyfriends by their thirties, if they're equally around the
same age, Yeah, probably half of them probably have boyfriends,
long term relationships, or are married and with children. So
for her, she chose not to go that route. That's
(11:04):
okay for whatever reason. But it goes back to my
original point that I said last week where I was
concerned about women and the fact that they're single, and
I think there's something to be looked at about that,
and it concerns me and I don't like the fact
that women are being stuck and being made to be single.
So I'm gonna play back real quick what I said
(11:25):
last week about this, because I think it is important
to make the distinction about where it's all came from.
But them. Here is what I said about this last week.
Even though I know women are probably not with boyfriends
right now, It's like, I don't want women single women
(11:45):
to not have boyfriends. I don't want or girlfriends whatever.
I don't want single women to stay single. That's a problem,
it's an epidemic. I feel bad for women that are single.
I wish they weren't. I wish they could find love,
and I wish they weren't hurt or going through the
things that being modern independent come with that. They're done
(12:11):
that way because of the fact of what has gone
through with them in their time, even trying to be
relationships for whatever reason, what wasn't that caused them to
stay single. Now, there's obviously two sides to each coin,
but for me. I'm looking at the perspective of saying
that the modern independent women didn't just become the modern
(12:34):
independent woman. There's a course of the indoctrination the women
that are having either their mothers or their sisters or
cousins or whoever from the family, and then their friends
that are also influencing them to where they're going to
go with their lives. But love initially for most of
these women, I would think a most all women usually
(12:55):
starts with love, usually starts with possible relationships, going back
to high school, going onto college, you would think that
thing kind of that would might possibly happen. But what
happens here is that when you start seeing other women
that are in relationships and then you see the breakoff
where other women are together. It's not like every woman
is together in a sorority, where like if you're in
(13:16):
a sorority, you know, how often do those sorority sisters
have their own citific others or partners because they have
each other, and that kind of sorority mentality kind of
comes into playing because if those young women want to
go and go out, you know, if one of them
is not gonna be is gonna be taken then it's
like there's the bachelor red party, who's going You know,
(13:38):
it's very rare if a woe's gonna go hang go
out with the girls, because the boyfriend probably won't want
to have that necessarily in some rare occasions, or if
it's like something that's said where she's going out with
the girls, he's going out all the guys, if that's
already been planned out. I don't know if that's not
much of that anyway right now. But the thing is,
for women, it's a choice who they want to be
(14:01):
with that's obvious, a woman that's very that's attractive, or
just you know what. Ninety five percent of women, I
would imagine it would not be hard for them at
all to find the date, find a boyfriend, find a girlfriend, whatever.
But the thing is that what is it that happened
to them, Whether it was some guy who was abusive
(14:25):
or narcissistic or manipulative, or was just you know, lightweight,
or he was weak, or he was just no good,
just was awkward or embarrassing, and they decided to go
and let them go. But after trial and error, I
think most all women would be able to go and
find a relationship or find love because it was like
(14:47):
that before social media. What changed. Social media caused it.
So now we're at this point where social media is
the contuit of this whole discussion here, because that's what's
called not just women around their own circles, but women
around following them as the influencer they're going to be.
(15:10):
They're all piling up and saying, if you are showing
off your boyfriend, soft launch, hard launch, if you're just
showing them off at random points, Yeah, they're saying it's embarrassing,
and those women are being affected by it, and women,
I would imagine would be much more vulnerable to the
kind of feedback that's on social media. Guys, I don't
think it would have that so much. But women absolutely
(15:33):
are affected by what is being said to them on
social media. And it's not just a friend. It's more
than just the friends in their circles. Now it's social
media that causes it too. Now here's another perspective that
came out from TikTok on this ongoing issue about women
thinking having a boyfriend is embarrassing.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Several people have asked me for my thoughts on the
British Vogue article. Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now by
Chantae Joseph. Sorry my mouth is now my headental surgery
this morning, And I did talk about this on this
prosos podcast. But I think that this article is dead
on and genius and not somebody in a committed relationship.
And I think that if you have a partner, if
you're in a relationship with a man and you found
(16:10):
this article insulting, the call is coming from inside the house.
I don't think the intention was to tell you not
to get into a happy, healthy relationship. But if you
feel the need to explain yourself and defend yourself, ask
yourself why you're doing that, because to me, that wasn't
the point.
Speaker 6 (16:25):
Of the article.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
The article starts out by discussing how back in the
twenty tens and even like early twenty twenties, it was
clouded to post your relationship online and it was seen
as like aspirational and esthetic, and couple's content was so
viral and so popular and so good, and everybody viewed
having a male partner as like an achievement and accomplishment,
and it was applauded and it was something to strive for.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
But also it's something that social media at the onset
when people were getting it beyond Facebook or Instagram or Twitter.
I mean again, this is well before TikTok. I think
talk just amplified this even more. But yeah, think about
it if you just had pictures up there and you're
seeing women out there with their boyfriends flaunting them and
(17:09):
showing off. Because with social media, we all kind of learned, hey,
if you want to go ahead and you know, pump
your chest and inflate your ego, then you go ahead
and show look who look who I am. It's show
and tell. It's like in elementary school, it's show and tell,
and that's what we're doing right now. So for women
like this young legal was saying, yeah, it was the
(17:31):
end thing to do. But now we're in fatigue and
of course the underbelly of social media of people that
can't help but see other people fail or other people
that they need to be miserable like they are. The
keyboard warriors are out there, that's the other part that's
coming in and they're starting to get a voice here
and the women need to go and start learning to
(17:53):
not pay attention to it.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
But the tides have really turned as it relates to
online and people now like don't want to see male partners,
influencers or of anybody.
Speaker 6 (18:01):
They don't care about that kind of content. It's not
interesting to them. Specifically, as women.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
Have shown up on the internet void of male partners
that have been totally interesting, whole, complete and just fabulous
on their own.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
But now one aspect of that is that you've had
women that, because of that social media aspect, they've gone
to be more modern independent women because now you have
that platform to show and tell, to show off to
all the other girls out there, oh look how I'm living.
But it's also the idea where okay, all the traumatic
(18:35):
issues or whatever kind of things that happened to women
that made them find boyfriends that did not work out
for whatever reason, toxic relationships, red flags, all that. Now
that you have women able to go on social media
and air their dirty laundry because there's no filter to it,
(18:58):
and then you have the people out they're willing to
go ahead and listen in and you know, here's a
virtual kleanex from social media to go ahead and say,
go girl, so sorry to hear that men are bad,
men are evil, men are mean men or pieces of shit.
All that you get that kind of content out there.
And then the idea is that social media creates this
(19:20):
whole thing of like, well, open your eyes, you could
be adventurous as much as you want. Okay, And this
is all counter to what social media did, okay, because
think about like this too. Then we had the part
where up until twenty nineteen, up until COVID, where everybody
was jet setting, adventure, vacations, this and that, go out
(19:40):
and do whatever, and men, women, excuse me, women need
to go ahead and find a way to go and
be able to make their ends meet so they can
do those things. Some of them might have gone the
sugar duty route. Some of them might have had boyfriends
that they might have gotten money from and things from,
and then they would go and convert that and to
be able to do things with themselves. But then there's
als no more. We're like women were out there showing, hey,
(20:02):
I'm able to go ahead and live in this place,
worked this job, do all these different things and look
at me. I'm pretty, I'm beautiful, and I can do
whatever I want. And of course that's your twenties and
thirties adventure. And then COVID happened, and then everybody got
stuck at home, and now that itching to get out
and do everything. So all these vacation plans everybody had,
(20:24):
when everything finally opened, all back up for everybody. You know,
it's completely open now for years. But like all that
frustration of being locked down, even for a short while,
everybody got out there and said, Okay, we're going to
just live it up. And so now women on social
media have gotten to the point where they don't want
to see anybody happy. And again, people on social media
(20:48):
they want to see people fail. They want to see
people become miserable, the downfall people. It's not even like
where people like see a downfall story and then see
the comeback. They don't even want that. They just want
see somebody to go and be dead and gone. You're
a dead horse, you're bloodied, were we're going to keep
shooting your carcass because that doesn't matter. They want to
(21:08):
keep seeing you down, pummeled, bloodied, never coming back. That's
what they want.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Now.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
There is some men that also talked on here and
what coming from a guy saying this is a wake
up call for men. But we're not going to play
this guy's comments because I got some stuff to say
about this.
Speaker 9 (21:28):
Vogue just posted an article saying having a boyfriend is embarrassing.
I think for men, this is a wake up call
to the smart, independent woman, good salary, nice place. We
provide no benefit, We are no longer the priority. In fact,
we're probably a burden to them. We need to realize
having a girlfriend is a privilege and our duty is
(21:51):
to raise them up and make them the most successful
version of themselves.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Okay, there's a lot to god and say about this,
But the thing is that we're not supposed feel guilty
as men. Okay, because those aspiring, modern independent women that
want to be successful. Yes, we're no benefit to them,
but who says we need to do anything about that?
(22:17):
Why is it our priority? Go ahead and make ourselves
more valuable for them. They don't care anymore. This guy's
got it wrong. The girlfriend is a privilege. No, having
a boyfriend is a privilege, which the other way around.
I mean, it doesn't matter if a woman wants to
go and do what they wants. Is if a guy
wants to be in love, then you go ahead and
take the risk of you know, if you've got to
(22:39):
find a woman, you hopefully find a woman that's gonna
be there for love and not for what you have,
not what you have in your wallet, not what you
having your bank account, not what you have in your
investments your portfolio, okay, and not for what you do
for a living. This guy's talking about, there's like guys
need to do better? What do we do? Okay? For
(23:00):
the guys that do need to be told something, they're
the ones that cause these women to become modern independent
one in the first place, because this is not just
that is a choice. That is a choice to go
modern independent, and we don't need a man fuck them
all this kind of thing. That's the choice of the women. Now,
(23:21):
I will say there are probably of men that fuck
things up for guys like us. That's what actually happened.
So it's not at this point when they've already become
modern independent, that's a lost cause you're not gonna get them.
You're gonna do so much crap now to even go
ahead and land a woman like that. You have the
(23:41):
ultra successful and then what you realize is when you're
with a woman that is modern independent, successful and has
their own money and has her own lifestyle, then you're
not gonna be with her for anything else because you
offer nothing that she wants. But there are still women
out there that can show they have something to offer
to men instead of only offering what they want for themselves.
(24:05):
Because for some modern independent women, that's selfish, but that's okay.
They can do that. Maybe they'll go ahead and change
their mind and say, you know what I want love
too well, that I have to come to a compromise
because that lifestyle is only gonna last for so long
for them unless they want to stay alone. Because how
many guys are gonna want to go and be involved
in that. That's why we're seeing a lot more people
(24:26):
be single now than ever. But that's where you have
to go and curb this at a younger age. This
is why I'm talking about this to younger men on
a regular basis. Younger men, younger women. Guys, you have
to be smarter to not make mistakes when you first
get together with a girl. You gotta there's enough information
to resources on social media, and I love you know,
(24:48):
people with some wisdom like myself. I think that can
tell you you got to do right by these girls
when you have the chance to hold onto them before
they get indoctrinated into all this shit that's going on
right now. Now, it's fine. Women are gonna feel like
they're gonna get what they want regardless of the situation.
I would prefer they still be able to go and
(25:09):
find love in their lives for some healthy relationship. But
that's not possible now. But the healthy relationships have to
start at the beginning. You have little room for failure. Now.
If you are a teenager or in your twenties and
you have a girl that you're getting with and it's
one of the first relationships she's got, you have little failure.
(25:31):
But that doesn't mean you have to be absolutely perfect either.
What you have to do is be transparent, be honest,
and be in the relationship for the right reasons. You
can't just go into a relationship with a girl now
at a younger age and think, oh, there's other girls
out there. No, if you're gonna choose one, the sea
is not that full of women like it once was,
(25:53):
because it's a matter of time before some of those
women are gonna get caught up and some scumbag's gonna
go ahead and be like, you know, ruthless to We're
sleep with her, not care about her, and move on. Now,
those kind of guys are gonna be around, Okay, the Jiggilos,
the players, they're still gonna be out there. But if
you find a girl and you have your opportunity, you
better hold on to her. Choose wisely and be as
(26:18):
honest as the transparent as you can. Don't be as
simp but just be open to the girl. Play the
game right and you'll win. But you're not gonna win
like this guy is thinking, going after the girls that
have already been a doctorated Okay, that have already been binwashed.
They're already going to go their route. You're not gonna
(26:38):
change them. Let's get back to this guy.
Speaker 9 (26:41):
That might mean doing the laundry and picking up the dishes.
It might mean working harder to support them so they
can go back to school. It might mean just focusing
on ourselves more to be the best versions of ourselves
to inspire them to want to do the same. I
think a healthy relationship involves both people raising each other
up to be the best versions of themselves and doing
(27:02):
whatever they can to support that person to be able
to do that.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
But that has to be both ways. Buddy. The thing is, okay,
the part about you know, carrying your own weight. That
should be a given. I mean guys, I mean, how
many guys get to go ahead and live that traditional
relationship like they're like Archie Bunker and Edith is running
around doing all the work around the house, cooking and
cleaning and ironing and all that stuff. I don't think
many guys you're worrying about that too much anymore. Got
(27:29):
a lot more guys that are being involved because they
have to, because we have the relationships have modernized. I
would think maybe there's still some traditional relationships out there.
There's social tradwise they talk about, right, but I've never
seen that. The thing is that what our parents and
grandparents had, it's not like it is now. It's all changed.
(27:50):
So the thing is that for this guy to go
and say we got to raise other women up, well,
it's got to be reciprocal. What are they doing to
raise us up too? Only going to be concerned about
her well first of all? Were her well being is
one thing. Her safety, absolutely, But if you're talking about
her success, okay, but then what about our success? So
(28:13):
we're supposed to go and give all our support over
to her, and she doesn't give anything back to us.
It's not fair, it's not right. That's not a healthy relationship, buddy,
I don't think so anyway.
Speaker 9 (28:27):
Right now, I don't think men are doing that. I
think men don't really provide a benefit. We need to
figure out how to provide that benefit. So we are
no longer embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
No, no, no.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
But the thing is, this is all bullshit. This guy.
You're talking about women that are far gone. You can't
work with them. They're not going to be pliable. They're
not willing to go ahead and be meaningable to what
you're saying here. So it's all the guy's fault. No.
(29:03):
And the thing is, if guys feel like they're ere
gonna do this, it's a lost cause. So deal with
it or get out. But there's no way around that.
I mean, if you get yourself locked in with a
girl like that, yeah, it's all gonna change. You're not
gonna really do much of that at all. And there's
more talk about this here we go.
Speaker 7 (29:24):
According to Vogue, having a boyfriend is embarrassing. And here's
my story on why I think this is true. I
was in the fitting room Azara, and this man was
being told by his girlfriend. You know, I think you
should wear this. You know you should wear that, He goes,
Can you stop bitch now? I felt embarrassed for her.
I understand everybody's in a relationship for different reasons. There's trauma,
(29:46):
there's whatever, the fuck you know.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
I get that.
Speaker 7 (29:48):
However, I felt embarrassed for her because that is her partner,
that's who she chooses. And what I think Vogue was
saying was that, yes, having a boyfriend is embarrassing if
you attach yourself to someone who is pulling you down,
who is not good for you, speaks about you.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
You know.
Speaker 7 (30:04):
It's like when somebody shows up to a professional event
with a wrinkled ash shirt on, buttoned and untucked. You're
kind of just looking at them, like, you know, appearance
does mean something, and in this case, having a man
that devalues you does mean something and is embarrassing. In
the most big brother loving kind of respectful way. It
(30:24):
is embarrassing, and you should not I, as a man,
gets secondhand embarrassment. Embarrassment when a growth sides to stay
with a man like that.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Well, the thing that you can't change one that's gonna
think that way. That's another story. We're talking about women
that are dating guys with red flags and the kind
of guys they choose to be with. You know, it's
also the perception they're not ever gonna pick the guy
that's gonna treat a girl well. I mean that will
absolutely do whatever it takes to make a girl happy.
That's not who they choose. But that's because they have
(30:57):
to go through traveling error and realize, okay, well, eventually
they're going to learn the lesson the hard way that
they're worth the wrong guy. But the thing is for them,
I don't feel ebarrassed because of the fact that I
hope that the woman as long as she's not getting abused,
as long as she's realizing that she has a support
system around her to say, hey, you know, there's something
(31:19):
about this guy. Look at how he acts around you.
Like that's one of those things, like you're in the holidays,
you start realizing a guy that's with a girl, and
you start getting the chance to go and get to
know the person, and you know, other of this girl,
of this boyfriend that she's with, and you'll realize what
he's all about.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
You know.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
It's like you go to the Thanksgiving dinner table or
the Christmas dinner table, and they bring him over, you'll
realize that this guy is that worth it a while
or not. You know, the thing is just that women
are gonna have to learn it themselves. They do choose badly,
sometimes not all, but many. They can choose badly. That's okay,
(31:57):
so maybe they'll learn after that. But that's not even
so much embarrassing what this guy was talking about. That's
just demeaning. It's I wouldn't even say humliating. He's not
even a good word. But it's callous because the guy
is a scumbag if he's talking down and the girl
(32:19):
for whatever reason, Okay, this guy has no patience. He
has a short triggered temper to get upset over Oh
you should wear this, wear that. He can't just say nah,
I don't like that. You can't just be as simple
as that. Okay, if the guy's gonna snap, there's something,
there's something there. We don't know why, or who knows
that the girl even cares if that's how he kind
(32:40):
of acts, but you know, for her, for this guy
to take this one example and trying to make it
more like in this, that's not so much embarrassing. It's
just women will pick guys with red flags. That's very
much common that can ever definitely happen. There are two
other takes that came in here. The Guardian also has
talked about this here, where there was one lady that
(33:01):
actually talked about the fact that the relationship that she's
in is also in a relationship with embarrassing. She says
that her husband having a husband's embarrassing. It's probably worse.
I'm used to being an embarrassment, apparently to teenagers, but
it's a blow as bad as skinny jeans being declared unacceptable.
(33:21):
I hardly ever mentioned my spouse online since he thinks
social media is the opium of the intellectually feeble, but
may maybe I should raise him entirely Trotzky style from
my instagrid So you know, there's another part where this
woman wants to go and make this point about that
there could be things where there is interesting is boyfriends
(33:42):
or husbands that could be embarrassing. Absolutely, there's guys that
could just be kind of quirky or goofy or whatever.
The other story came out here was from Evie magazine.
Another direction of this saying having a boyfriend is not
embarrassing your need for cloud is saying that misery's easiest
power move is pretending the right the things your peers
enjoy are actually beneath you, And for a lot of
(34:03):
young and young women, that thing is love. They talk
about the fact that the mindset and avoidant behavior that
falls is rewarded by audiences that who lament that the
women they follow on social media for entertainment so predictably
become watered down bage versus of themselves. Once a boyfriend
enters a picture, they're not willing to stick around and
be proven wrong. But again, you're worrying about women for
(34:24):
women that look at other women on social media, for
the social media crowd, why are you carrying about what
they think? I mean, of course you want the audience
to go ahead and be placating to you. But you
know what, politics and love are very polarizing on social media.
And the truth is it's really a matter of how
you position yourself on social media that you really can't
(34:45):
put that much of yourself out there. You got to
play yourself as a role, as a character, as I've
always thought about when I got on social media in
the first place. It's a promotional tool and you have
to understand that not everyone's going to like who you
are if you try to open yourself up, it's just
not going to be that way. They're going to say
they're at public facing women are mass unfollowed the moment
they announced they are booed up. This issses is cringy
(35:08):
and or embarrassing even by other women in relationships the
unobscure boyfriend. Then it's not just the relationship status marker.
It's the single of how male centered a woman is.
And someone report fearing the evil eye, the idea that
posting their happy relationship online would spark jealousy so strong
that the relationship could come to an end. Others say
they don't want to be boastful in an area of
(35:29):
widespread romantic discontentment. Others being more utilitarian and their concerns
worrying that the relationship could end, they can be stuck
with the digital footprint littered with the evidence of their
ex boyfriend's imprint on their lives. So this point is
as I'm going with it. You know, it's social media
that's the whole problem with this. Make this clear, and
(35:52):
the women are the ones that are being critical of
other women, and that is the story that the article
was entailing. If you didn't think it was, that's what
it was. But I'm glad that the conversation continues and
we'll see if you keep going on with this on
a forthcoming episode. You never know, but I mean, you
(36:13):
could only find out by trial and error. So don't
worry about boyfriends being embarrassing for some women that are
not out on the outside looking in as someone having
a boyfriend. Try it out for yourselves. But at least
the one thing is, don't be so bitter. Maybe you
could do something a little bit more for yourself to
enjoy your time. You know, there's something to be said
(36:35):
about you don't have to be in a relationship and
being able with a boyfriend. I mean, but the thing is,
you want to find a little cure to if you
want to be modern independent that maybe you want to
have a little bit of time to go ahead and
not be lonely. You need to get laid, then maybe
take some time to be a little bit praise and
(36:57):
the botress
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.