Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Step into a world where being neurodivergent is celebrated and
the conversations are as real as they are eye opening.
Welcome to FEMA on the spectrum where autism, ADHD and
life's biggest issues collide in the most empowering way. I'm
your host, Elizabeth, and I'm thrilled to have you here
(00:26):
with me. In today's episode, we're diving deep into some
incredibly personal stories, the highs, the lows, and the moments
that truly.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Test our spirits.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
We'll explore themes of love, trust, betrayal, and most importantly, resilience.
Whether you're on the spectrum yourself or simply seeking to
understand the neurodivergent experience, you're in.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Exactly the right place.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
So grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and let's dive
into a journey of empowerment and survival together. Let's start
with the year that changed everything for me twenty eighteen.
I was forty one, living in Philadelphia, and I had
what many would call a successful life, a thriving marketing career,
(01:14):
fifty grand in savings, and my pride and joy a
sleek jeep, grand Cherokee. But emotionally, I was hollow, craving
something more, someone to share life's journey with, someone to
be a partner for my son, Max, who wasn't even
one year old yet. His little gummy smiles were the
(01:34):
only anchors I had in those tumultuous seas. When my
divorce came through, my world felt like it had fractured
into a million pieces. I packed up what was left
of my life and moved back to my parents' home
in Hamburg, New York, the same suburb south of Buffalo
where I grew up. It wasn't an easy homecoming. My
(01:57):
old bedroom felt more like a time cat apsol then
a sanctuary, and the house was a battleground of my
father's sharp critiques and my mother's deafening silence. My neurodivergence,
being autistic and having ADHD made every bit of tension
a sensory overload, a storm I couldn't escape.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
But what I truly needed.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Wasn't money or even a career at that point. I
needed love, a real connection. I didn't want Max to
take his first steps in that chaos, so I ventured
online and met Michael on a single parent dating site.
Right from his first message, something about him glowed.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
He shared tales of his eight year old daughter.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
And promised a homy existence filled with love and warmth.
When we finally met at a cafe in Hamburg, his
smile and his words felt like salvation. After several months
of dating, going on weekend trips, life felt fun again
and light. He made life easier for me, he said
to me. At one point, live with me. You and
(03:05):
Max deserve a home, he said, And just like that,
my ever trusting, autistic heart saw only sincerity, while my
adhd driven hunger for connection screamed yes. I packed up
my jeep with Max's crib and toys, his little eyes
full of curiosity from the car seat behind me. Driving
(03:28):
to Michael's home in Niagara Falls, just twenty five minutes away,
I felt a wave of hope wash over me. I
truly believed I was stepping into a fresh chapter, filled
with love.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
And new beginnings.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Little did I know beneath Michael's charm and warmth there
lurked a different reality altogether. So there I was, in
twenty eighteen, standing at the crossroads of heartbreak and hope,
completely unaware of the twists and turns my story would
soon take. It was a year of crisis, yes, but
(04:02):
also one of desperate hope. Next we'll move into what
came after that hopeful beginning, the slow entanglement that gradually
tightened its grip. Stay tuned. Welcome back, everyone. This is
Elizabeth and you're listening to fem on the spectrum. When
we left off, I had just moved in with Michael,
(04:23):
feeling a mix of heartbreak and hope, thinking I had
found the stability and love I so desperately needed. But
as the days turned into weeks, I began to notice
the subtle shifts. Michael's Niagara Falls home felt cozy and
filled with promise. At first, his daughter's dance ribbons decorated
(04:43):
the walls, and the warm scent of his coffee floated
through the rooms. He presented himself as the perfect partner
and father, doing everything from changing Max's diapers to paying
for daycare. He'd cook while I rested, and I would
find myself thinking it was love, my heart opening to
(05:04):
a blended family. His seamless care was control. Michael handled everything, bills, schedules, decisions,
fostering dependence. When I was fired from my remote marketing
job weeks after moving in, strained by Max's needs. He said,
don't work, Let's build our family. We were exploring IVF
and fostering, so I agreed, my savings covering my share.
(05:27):
My ADHD missed the shift, my autism, trusted his selflessness.
By twenty nineteen, I was entangled, emotionally tethered, my independence
fading under a facade of love. In August twenty twenty,
everything turned upside down. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer
stage three. Millard Fillmore Hospital became my new world, filled
(05:52):
with sterile hals and the constant beeping of IV drips.
Surgery left me scarred, and chemo drained every our of
energy I had. My body was fighting a war I
never saw coming, and Max, only three years old at
the time, clung to me, his little hands trembling. I
thought I could rely on Michael's five star care during
(06:15):
one of the darkest periods of my life, but cracks
in his support started to show. Michael's ex wife began
spreading lies that we were not treating his daughter well,
adding salt to the wound. Michael's mother called me during
chemo to tell me that Michael's daughter was hurting more
than Max and that she was going to be more
affected by my illness that my biological son. I had
(06:40):
only known his daughter for two years. Michael's eldest sister texted,
cancer or not, you are a bad mother. You treat
Michael's daughter.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Like a slave.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Every word felt like a dagger to my already fragile,
neurodivergent heart. And none of this was true. I in
fact did sit down with Michael's daughter myself and talk
to her about what cancer meant. I in fact treated
her like my own daughter. But during my illness and
our transition to building a new home, we could only
(07:14):
find a two bedroom apartment, so she had to sleep
in our room temporarily, and when I got sick during COVID,
I had to stay in the back bedroom to protect
myself from germs and COVID, So his daughter had to
either sleep in the same bedroom as Max or on
the couch. She choose the couch, and from that I
(07:35):
was blamed for treating her like a slave. Not to mention,
these people did this to me during one of the
most vulnerable times of my life. Empathy anyone Michael's family
puts the fun in dysfunction. Michael stopped talking to his
sister but when his mother backed away, that is when
I noticed Michael's mother wound. He told me she had
(07:55):
once told him that he was the biggest disappointment of
her life, and he told me she didn't go to
his graduation ceremonies. He has a deep, deep mother wound.
This is when I notice him starting to withdraw emotionally
from me. I thought it was a phase because of
all the chaos, but I would soon find out it
(08:16):
was not. I know dysfunctional families because I came from one.
I know emotional abuse when I see it, and Michael's
family was not different. The very first time I met
his mother, she started trash talking her daughter, and not
in a normal complaining.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
About your kid's way. She was trash.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Talking her horribly. It was almost if she was jealous
of her daughter. I was taken back, and if I
wasn't in crisis mode, I would have seen this red
flag and exited that situation promptly. It was really bad,
and Michael had been living with the treatment from his
family for a long long time. I believe that is
(08:57):
why he had eating disorder undiagnosed, but was over four
hundred pounds several times throughout his life. He has never
really addressed his mental health, and you can see the
repercussions of that. In spite of the chaos, we were
constructing our dream home, a six hundred thousand dollars beauty
(09:18):
in Wheatfield, n Y. Its open layout symbolized the fresh
start I so desperately needed. But with cancer and his
ex wife's relentless attacks, the hope it represented was quickly tainted.
Michael claimed he was defending me by cutting off his family,
but after failed reconciliations, they just stopped talking to us altogether.
(09:40):
He didn't cut them off, they cut us off, and
he blamed me for it. I had been nothing but
nice to these people, obliging their every request, please and
thank yous with every interaction. He blamed me for their
dysfunctional behavior, his resentment growing day by day. Michael's ex
wife was stir the pot and telling me about the
(10:01):
things Michael's mother was saying about Max, stating if they
said those things about my daughter, I would belived. It
is horrible what they are saying. On steroids and just
getting done with chemo. I made a decision to send
Michael's mother a card, stating Max deserves better. Than someone
(10:23):
who talks about him behind his back. Michael would forever
hold this over my head, and instead of holding his
family's dysfunction for what it was, he blamed me for
the wedge between his family and stated the letter was
the reason why. I know it wasn't, but he needed
someone to blame for his family's horrible behavior, especially from
(10:45):
his mother. I don't think he could accept that his
mother was this heartless. Financially things were deteriorating. Michael maxed
out credit cards and bought unnecessary items, while I stretched
my disability checks and child support to cover Max's daily needs.
Our beautiful new home turned into a battleground, a far
(11:07):
cry from the sanctuary I had envisioned. It was supposed
to be a place of unity and love, but instead
it became a symbol of isolation and conflict. So by
the end of twenty twenty one, I was left fighting
two battles, the cancer that was ravaging my body and
the emotional and financial chaos that was tearing apart my
(11:29):
once hopeful dreams. I did recover from the first diagnosis
of cancer, but despite this, my story was far from over.
Stay tuned as we journey into twenty twenty two, where
the light of hope flickered once again with the arrival
of Gavin. I'm Elizabeth, and thank you for listening to
(11:50):
fem on the Spectrum. We'll be right back. Welcome back, everyone,
It's Elizabeth, continuing our journey here on fem on THEE
the Spectrum. When we last left off, we were in
the throes of financial and emotional chaos, But twenty twenty
two brought a glimmer of hope in the form of
(12:11):
a beautiful new life.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Gavin, Oh, Gavin.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
From the moment he came into our lives, everything felt lighter,
like a breath of fresh air. And the way he
came into our lives was serendipitous. I had posted on
a mom's Facebook group simply does anyone know anything about
private adoption? From that little post, within five men's I
(12:36):
had a women text me stating I didn't see your post,
but my friend did and sent it to me. I
have a friend that has a sister who is giving
up her baby for adoption. Would you be interested. We
found an adoption attorney and they introduced us to this
little bundle of joy. His bright eyes and innocent laughter
(12:58):
felt like a healing balm to my wounded heart. I
remember holding him for the first time, feeling an overwhelming
sense of hope and love. For a moment, it seemed
like everything was going to be all right, like our
blended family was finally falling into place. Michael reached out
(13:18):
to his youngest sister to tell her about the adoption
in hopes that it would bring them together, and she
responded with, that's nice. Hope things are going okay. Not congratulations,
not he's beautiful, just a plain vanilla. That's nice. Michael
(13:39):
and I made a vow to adopt Gavin, making him
an integral part of our lives, along with Max and
his daughter.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
But as with all.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Things, it wasn't meant to be that simple. Michael's ex
wife unfinalized divorce became a major hurdle, and she was
stringing us along stating she was taking care of it.
After we informed her of the issue and the urgency
of needed things to get completed, we even got all
(14:10):
the paperwork together for her and put it in her mailbox.
She didn't care and was looking for ways to see
if she could get any monetary value from Michael. Because
of her error, we asked her to complete the paperwork
in May twenty twenty two. She didn't do anything until Sep.
(14:32):
Twenty twenty two, after Gavin was born. Yeah, she's a
real peach. The adoption attorney needed clarity on Michael's legal status,
and until his divorce was finalized, we couldn't move forward
with Gavin's adoption, so I had to adopt him myself,
and Michael said that once everything was completed with his divorce,
(14:57):
he would adopt him. He even stopped giving his ex
wife child support payments because she had cost him extra
money to the tune of thirty five hundred dollars to
be added to Gavin's birth certificate, a promise he never
held up to. I bet she would love to get
that money back now. Michael assured me he'd fix it.
(15:18):
I'll finalize the divorce and will adopt Gavin, he promised.
My autistic heart wanted to believe him. My ADHD driven
optimism took his words at face value. Meanwhile, I took
on the role of Gavin's primary caregiver, dealing with two
hundred dollars formula runs and sleepless nights, hoping that Michael
(15:41):
would keep his word. But as the months rolled by
his promises, began to feel empty. His divorce was finalized,
but the adoption process stalled. Michael's support dwindled until it
was almost nonexistent. By late twenty twenty two, the painful
(16:03):
reality set in Michael had no intention of following through.
I was left to care for Gavin on my own,
my body still frail from the relentless battles with cancer
that had come back a second time when Gavin was
ten months.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
It was a raw.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Betrayal that shattered whatever trust I had left. Gavin was
left in legal limbo, and my faith in Michael was
irreparably broken. Not only that, but while I was battling
cancer for the second time, Michael's support for me was nonexistent.
He abandoned me, stating he had to take care of
(16:45):
everything else. But the truth was my friends were taking
care of everything. My friend Rihanna and Mary Kay were
at our home daily, giving the kids baths, feeding them,
helping them, cleaning my home so Michael could do what
he needed, but he never did. He was obviously depressed
(17:07):
and just stayed in the basement to himself, rarely coming
up to help. I remember I was laying in bed
recovering from a chemo treatment and he was nowhere to
be found. My friend Mary Kay was there to take
care of Gavin so Michael could help me or do
something for himself, which he got to do all the time.
(17:28):
I called him several times from my bed and he
was outside ignoring my calls. Eventually I cried for help
and Mary Kay came in to help me. I need
water and help getting.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
To the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
She had to put Gavin down and help me while
Michael was sitting outside doing nothing. I remember my friends
being afraid to leave Gavin with him because he was
so checked out. They didn't think he would take care
of him. So what started as a year filter with
hope ended with a stinging realization of betrayal. But still,
(18:05):
this was not the end of my story or Gavin's.
Despite the broken promise and the hurt, resilience found a
way to creep back into my heart. I made it
through the treatment and my tumor markers were back to normal.
Thank you for staying with me, and we will be
right back to continue this journey on fem on the Spectrum.
(18:26):
Welcome back everyone, This is Elizabeth continuing our journey on
fem on the spectrum. When we last left off, Gavin
had just entered our lives, offering a glimmer of hope.
But today we're moving into a much darker chapter of
this journey. Twenty twenty three to twenty twenty four a
period marked by escalating abandonment and the unraveling of family bonds.
(18:51):
By twenty twenty three, Michael's emotional abandonment became glaringly obvious.
What began as subtle shifts turned into outright neglect. He
guilt tripped me for any act of self care, whether
it was visiting friends in Hamburg or even taking a
simple walk. Every move I made was met with accusations
(19:13):
of selfishness, adding layers of guilt and self doubt to
my already heavy heart. I took on more responsibilities, hoping
to ease his apparent fatigue and irritability. I managed the bills,
handled most of the childcare, and bent over backwards to
try to bring some semblance of peace back into our household.
(19:35):
But no matter what I did, it was never enough.
His resentment continued to grow, and nothing I did seemed
to alleviate his constant irritability. The emotional toll was immense.
I was constantly walking on eggshells trying to avoid triggering
his anger. It was as if the man who once
promised me the world had transformed into my worst nightmare.
(19:58):
His hypercritical Nate meant that every decision I made, no
matter how small, was scrutinized and criticized, and it wasn't
just about us. The emotional strain extended to my family
relationships as well. In twenty to twenty four, Michael convinced
me that I needed to have my mother sign a
new healthcare proxy to prevent my brother from forcing her
(20:21):
out of her apartment. He volunteered to be a witness,
making it seem like he was protecting her, but the
fight caused irreparable damage within my already fragile family. The
ensuing conflict led to a profound fracture, revealing people who
I thought were on my side to be untrustworthy. Michael's
(20:41):
rage intensified during this period. His six frame would loom
large as he screamed and slammed doors. The children were terrified. Max,
who was six at the time, would flee with his
hands over his ears, trembling. Gavin, only two, would wail
in my arms sensing the chaos, even if he couldn't
fully understand it. In these moments, I felt like a
(21:04):
complete failure. My neurodivergent brain was overwhelmed trying to process
the emotional storm while still hoping for a glimpse of
the man I had once loved. The emotional manipulation and
abandonment were deliberate and severe, aimed at isolating me and
shattering my spirit. What followed in twenty twenty two poys
(21:28):
oh one twenty four was perhaps the most calculated of
all his moves. By making me confront my family and
subsequently causing further fractures, he effectively isolated me even more.
What little support system I had outside of our home
was now in tatters. I realized that every action, every argument,
(21:51):
was part of a meticulously crafted plan to leave me
isolated and dependent on him. So as twenty twenty four
came to a close, I found myself dealing with an
overwhelming sense of betrayal and a desperate need to protect
my children. It was a time of escalating abandonment and
manipulation that forever changed my family dynamics. But the story
(22:15):
isn't over yet. Stay tuned as we dive further into
the complexities of this journey toward reclaiming my strength and
my voice. Thank you for being here with me on
fem On the Spectrum. I'm Elizabeth, and we'll be right back.
Welcome back, listeners. I'm Elizabeth, your host here on fem
on the Spectrum. When we last left off, we were
(22:37):
delving into the escalating abandonment and emotional manipulation that defined
twenty twenty three and twenty twenty four. In this segment,
we'll explore how my neurodivergent traits were turned against me,
leading to isolation and emotional distress. It was July twenty
twenty four and I had just completed my second round
(22:59):
of chemo to fight off the ovarian cancer, and I
was extremely resentful to Michael for his abandonment and his
lack of really caring for the entire situation. In this time,
he went and purchased another dog, to which I was
the primary caregiver of the new dog, we named Zoe.
So I was getting over cancer treatment, taking care of
(23:22):
a baby, taking on more responsibilities of the home in
hopes to alleviate Michael's aggression and anger, and now taking
care of a puppy. To say I was burnt out
and overstimulated is an understatement. I went downstairs in the
basement to where Michael was several times, begging for him
to understand what I was going through, and each time
(23:45):
I was made to feel like a burden. This is
the real Michael. He is a covert narcissist. I skipped
his birthday, didn't do anything for it. I was super
resentful of him. Plus I just didn't have the bandwidth.
He will also forever hold this over my head. It
was a short a three months and the cancer came
(24:05):
back again.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
It was bad.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
My tumor markers were extremely high, to the point I
started retaining water. We started talking about a will and
other things. I started on a new medicine that was immunotherapy,
and it seemed to be working. Even still, Michael was absent,
just giving the extremely bare minimum. He would instigate fights
(24:28):
in front of the kids, being loud and intimidating, insulting,
was hyper critical of me. To protect the kids, I
texted Michael, stop you're scaring Max.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
But that was his trap.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Instead of arguing face to face, where I could barely
get a word in without him yelling, I chose to
express my feelings through text messages. I thought it was
the safer, quieter option, especially with the kids around. Michael
would then forward my emotional raw messages to friends and family,
(25:01):
painting me as the unhinged aggressor while he played the victim.
She's unhinged. He'd tell them all part of his narcissistic
abuse strategy, provoke, bate, record and smear. My autism missed
the subtle manipulation. When you live in a world of
truth and open emotions, it's hard to see that someone
could be so deceitful, so calculating My text became his
(25:25):
tools used to silence me and turn my support system
against me. I wasn't just losing a partner. I was
losing my voice, my credibility, and my sense of self.
Our home, once built with dreams of unity and love,
turned into a prison. It's six hundred thousand dollars walls
echoed with tension and betrayal. The love it was supposed
(25:48):
to house replaced with fear and isolation. I felt cornered,
manipulated into silence by the very person who once promised
me a world of stability and love. Michael's manipulation tactics
were disturbingly effective. He preyed upon my honesty and my
tendency to over explain traits common in neurodivergent individuals. Every plea,
(26:12):
every explanation became fodder for his narrative. He positioned himself
as the victim and me as the aggressor, isolating me
further from friends and family. It's crucial to understand how
this level of manipulation leads to severe emotional distress. When
your reality is constantly being twisted, you begin to doubt
(26:36):
your own perceptions and judgments. It's a mind game that
eats away at your confidence and self worth. So that's
where we found ourselves. Me trapped in a cycle of
provocation and silence, Michael mastering the art of manipulation. But
as you'll soon hear, even the darkest night's end when
(27:00):
the sun rises, stay tuned as we continue this journey
and uncover the strength that lies within our neurodivergent minds.
Thank you for listening to fem on the Spectrum. We'll
be right back. Welcome back, listeners. I'm Elizabeth, your host
here on fem on the Spectrum. When we last left off,
(27:20):
we were delving into the escalating abandonment and emotional manipulation
that defined twenty twenty three and twenty twenty four. In
this segment, we'll explore how my neurodivergent traits were turned
against me, leading to isolation and emotional distress. My autism
missed the subtle manipulation. When you live in a world
(27:43):
of truth and open emotions, it's hard to see that
someone could be so deceitful, so calculating My texts became
his tools used to silence me and turn my support
system against me. I wasn't just losing a partner. I
was losing my voice, my creditlity, and my sense of self.
(28:03):
Our home, once built with dreams of unity and love.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Turned into a prison.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
It's six hundred thousand dollars walls echoed with tension and betrayal.
The love it was supposed to howse, replaced with fear
and isolation. I felt cornered, manipulated into silence by the
very person who once promised me a world of stability
and love. Michael's manipulation tactics were disturbingly effective. He preyed
(28:32):
upon my honesty and my tendency to over explain traits
common in neurodivergent individuals. Every plea, every explanation became fodder
for his narrative. He positioned himself as the victim and
me as the aggressor, isolating me further from friends and family.
(28:53):
It's crucial to understand how this level of manipulation leads
to severe emotional disas when your reality is constantly being twisted,
you begin to doubt your own perceptions and judgments. It's
a mind game that eats away at your confidence and
self worth. So that's where we found ourselves, Me trapped
(29:16):
in a cycle of provocation and silence, Michael mastering the
art of manipulation. But as you'll soon hear, even the
darkest night's end when the sun rises, stay tuned as
we continue this journey and uncover the strength that lies
within our neurodivergent minds. Thank you for listening to fem
(29:37):
on the Spectrum. We'll be right back. Welcome back, listeners.
I'm Elizabeth, your host here on fem on the Spectrum.
When we last left off, we were delving into the
escalating abandonment, an emotional manipulation that defined twenty twenty three
and twenty twenty four In this segment, we'll explore how
(29:59):
my neurodiverg traits were turned against me, leading to isolation
and emotional distress. To protect the kids, I texted Michael,
you stop, you're scaring Max. But that was his trap.
Instead of arguing face to face, where I could barely
get a word in without him yelling, I chose to
(30:19):
express my feelings through text messages. I thought it was
the safer, quieter option, especially with the kids around. Michael
would then forward my emotional raw messages to friends and family,
painting me as the unhinged aggressor while he played the victim.
She's unhinged. He'd tell them all part of his narcissistic
(30:41):
abuse strategy provoke, bait, record and smear. My autism missed
the subtle manipulation. When you live in a world of
truth and open emotions, it's hard to see that someone
could be so deceitful, so calculating My text became his
tools used to silence me and turn my support system
(31:03):
against me. I wasn't just losing a partner. I was
losing my voice, my credibility, and my sense of self.
Our home, once built with dreams of unity and love,
turned into a prison. It's six hundred thousand dollars walls
echoed with tension and betrayal. The love it was supposed
to house replaced with fear and isolation. I felt cornered,
(31:28):
manipulated into silence by the very person who once promised
me a world of stability and love. Michael's manipulation tactics
were disturbingly effective. He preyed upon my honesty and my
tendency to over explain traits common in neurodivergent individuals. Every plea,
(31:51):
every explanation became fodder for his narrative. He positioned himself
as the victim and me as the aggressor, me further
from friends and family. It's crucial to understand how this
level of manipulation leads to severe emotional distress. When your
reality is constantly being twisted, you begin to doubt your
(32:14):
own perceptions and judgments. It's a mind game that eats
away at your confidence and self worth. So that's where
we found ourselves, me trapped in a cycle of provocation
and silence, Michael mastering the art of manipulation. But as
you'll soon hear, even the darkest night's end when the
(32:35):
sun rises stay tuned as we continue this journey and
uncover the strength that lies within our neurodivergent minds. Thank
you for listening to fem on the Spectrum. We'll be
right back. Welcome back, listeners. I'm Elizabeth, and you're tuned
in to fem on the Spectrum. When we left off,
(32:56):
I was discussing the escalating emotional and financial chaos that
defined twenty twenty three and twenty twenty four. Now let's
explore the ultimate betrayals that ensued, highlighting specific incidents that
showcased Michael's manipulation and control. By January twenty twenty five,
(33:16):
my immune system was compromised from ongoing cancer treatments. The
immunotherapy worked, and my last treatment was in January twenty
twenty five. I had been again on stereod for months
to help my body not reject the medicine. At this moment,
I faced perhaps the worst of Michael's betrayals. He met
(33:38):
another woman online and made no effort to hide it,
flaunting her as skinnier, nicer, and financially stable. He weaponized
his affair to emotionally devastate me. His smirk as I sobbed,
and his cruel words your Psycho were designed to break
me down entirely.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Then came the lies.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Michael falsely accused me of assault in Niagara County Supreme
Court in April twenty twenty five. He sought to sell
our six hundred thousand dollars home, our children safe haven,
without any regard for their well being. The judge ordered mediation,
but the damage was done. His web of lies not
only tainted the legal proceedings, but also jeopardized our home,
(34:24):
making me fear for our stability. Financial abuse was another
tactic he wielded masterfully. He sabotaged our mortgage assistance, leaving
US sixteen thousand dollars in arrears by April twenty twenty five.
He accused me of mismanaging funds while he maxed out
credit cards on unnecessary purchases. Yet in his narrative, I
(34:46):
was always to blame. The financial chaos didn't end there.
He even fraudulently claimed Gavin on his twenty twenty four taxes,
stealing a three thousand dollars refund that was rightfully mine.
Perhaps the cruelest betrayal of all was his abandonment of
Gavin's adoption. We had planned to make Gavin a permanent
(35:09):
member of our family, but Michael's actions left him in
legal limbo. This broken promise shattered the foundation of our family,
leaving me to parent Gavin alone while still grappling with
my own health and emotional turmoil. Each act of betrayal
aimed to dismantle every semblance of stability I was trying
(35:30):
to hold onto. But through all of this, I found
a strength within myself I never knew existed. Yes, Michael's
manipulations were harsh, but they also forced me to tap
into my own resilience and fight back, not just for myself,
but for Max and Gavin. Thank you for joining me
on this difficult, yet empowering journey. Next, we'll discuss how
(35:54):
this battle against manipulation and betrayal paved the way for
my ultimate awakening and resilience. Stay tuned as we continue
this journey together. I'm Elizabeth, and you're listening to FEM
on the Spectrum.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Welcome back, everyone to FEM on the Spectrum. I'm Elizabeth,
your host, and today we're diving into chapter nine, surviving
What was meant to Break Me. Let's talk about survival
and resilience when you're faced with relentless manipulation and betrayal.
Survival means finding that inner strength you didn't even know
(36:32):
you had. For me, survival wasn't just about getting by
day today. It was a conscious decision to fight back
to reclaim my life through all the mental and emotional chaos.
I had to remind myself what I was fighting for,
my children and our home. My neurodivergence, which Michael sought
to exploit as a weakness, actually became my greatest source
(36:56):
of strength. My autism gave me an incredible.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Capacity for focus.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I used this laser like focus to navigate the complex
world of court filings and legal battles. My ADHD, often
seen as a hurdle, became my driving force. It fueled
my relentless pursuit to make sure Max and Gavin had
a stable, loving environment. There were times when hope felt elusive,
(37:22):
but the thought of my children gave me the resilience
to push through. I needed to protect Max's bravery, Gavin's
innocent laughter, and the sanctuary of our home. Each time
I looked into their eyes, I saw the future I
wanted for them, a future free of fear and full
of love. Despite the financial abuse, tax fraud, and emotional manipulation,
(37:47):
I managed to stand my ground. I found ways to
stretch every dollar to make sure Max and Gavin got
what they needed. I fought against the legal hurdles Michael
threw my way, using every ounce of strength my neurodivergent
brain could muster. So here I am standing not just
despite the odds, but because of them. My neurodivergence was
(38:09):
once seen as something to exploit. Now it's my shield
and sword in this battle for our future. This chapter
in my life is not just about surviving. It's about
thriving against what was meant to break me. Stay tuned
as we move into the final chapter, where we talk
about awakening and reclaiming our lives. You're listening to fem
(38:32):
on the Spectrum. I'm Elizabeth, and we'll be right back.
Welcome back, everyone to fem on the Spectrum. I'm Elizabeth,
and today we're stepping into one of the most pivotal
chapters of my journey, Chapter ten, Awakening. This is where
the light breaks through the darkness, where realizations about love, trust,
(38:53):
and self worth come into full view. First things first,
let's talk about what love really means true love doesn't guilt,
trip you. It doesn't manipulate or isolate you. Real love
doesn't abandon you in your darkest hours or make you
question your worth. Over the years, as I battled cancer,
(39:13):
navigated family fractures, and faced financial strain, I came to
understand that love should be a sanctuary, not a battlefield.
Trust is another key element. Trust is the foundation upon
which healthy relationships are built. If someone is constantly making
you feel guilty or questioning your actions, that's not trust,
(39:36):
that's control. My journey taught me to differentiate between someone
who truly has my back and someone who claims to
while slowly dismantling my confidence and self worth. Oh self
worth it's something that no one can give or take
away from you. It's an inherent part of who you are.
(39:58):
Despite the manipulation and emotional torture I went through, I
realized that my value doesn't come from another person's approval.
My neurodivergence, once exploited, became my beacon of strength. Encouraging you,
dear listeners, to understand your own worth, whether your neurodivergent
or not, is crucial. Your life's worth can't be measured
(40:21):
by someone else's standards or manipulative tactics. I hope my
story of survival and resilience inspires you to see the
power within yourself. To all those navigating similar struggles, I
want to say, you are stronger than you know and
more resilient than you realize. Each betrayal, each hurtful word,
(40:41):
every manipulative action was meant to break me. But instead
these challenges pushed me to grow stronger.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
To fight harder.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
They made me who I am today, resilient, aware, and
fiercely protective of my heart and my family. So as
we close this chapter, remember this. Love should uplift, trust
should empower, and self worth should be unwavering. Use your experiences,
both good and bad, as stepping stones to a stronger,
(41:13):
more resilient you. Thank you for joining me on fem
on the spectrum. Stay strong, stay resilient, and always remember
your worth. I'm Elizabeth, and we'll be back with more
enlightening stories and empowering insights in our next episode. Check
the show notes for any links or additional information mentioned
(41:34):
in today's episode. Goodbye for now. Thank you so much
for joining me on this journey today. If there's one
thing I want.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
You to take away.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
It's this Resilience and empowerment.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Are powerful forces.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
No matter what challenges come your way, remember that you
have the strength within you to overcome them. Love should
uplift you, trust should empower you, and your self worth
should always remain unwavering. Make sure to check the show
notes for any additional resources or information we've discussed.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Feel free to reach.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Out and send me a message with your thoughts or
if you need support. Community matters. This is Elizabeth Bucher,
neurodivergent and unbroken. Stay strong, stay resilient, and until next time,
thank you for listening to FEM on the Spectrum.