Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Step into a world where being neurodivergent is celebrated and
the conversations are as real as they are eye opening.
Welcome to Femme on the spectrum where autism, ADHD and
life's biggest issues collide in the most empowering way. I'm
(00:24):
your host, Elizabeth, a high functioning autistic mom ADHD powered
entrepreneur and a social work grad student who's just a
little too obsessed with self reflection and calling out gaslighting
when I see it. Today's episode is a big one
CPTSD versus autism and ADHD. Where do the wires cross
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and where are we actually looking at something else? We'll
be peeling back the layers on how trauma and neurodivergence
intersect and in fluency each other. I'll be sharing some
personal stories, diving into the symptom confusion, and bringing in
some expert insights to help decode this complex relationship. Stay tuned,
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because we're about to get real, raw and hopefully a
little bit revolutionary in understanding our beautiful neurodivergent minds. All right,
let's kick things off with a number that's more than
just eye catching, it's eye opening. One in three women
with ADHD also meets the criteria for CPTSD. Seriously, let
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that sync in. This isn't just a quirky overlap, it's
a flashing neon sign screaming. This needs more attention. As
someone who's been misdiagnosed, dismissed, and told I was just
sensitive more times than I can count, I know the
hefty price of this confusion firsthand. It's not just about
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slapping on the right labels. It's about accessing proper healing,
understanding your identity, and practically almost everything else that matters.
Now add to the mix that most research out there
is still centered on neurotypical men. Neurodivergent women were often
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left flailing in the wind, internalizing all that confusion and shame.
We get misdiagnosed, medicated incorrectly, or told we're too emotional.
Our pain doesn't fit neatly in a DSM box, so
it gets dismissed. It's infuriating, right, But what we truly
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need is a completely new model, one that places lived experiences,
nervous system safety, intersectional understanding at its core. Imagine a
world where our unique experiences are not afterthoughts, but central
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to the narrative. That's what we're striving for here. All right,
let's roll up our sleeves and jump straight into what
I like to call the symptom SmackDown. This segment is
all about breaking down the confusion between ADHD, autism, and CPTSD.
Trust me, it's eye opening. First up, we have executive
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dysfunction versus dissociation. If you've got ADHD, you know exactly
what executive dysfunction feels like. It's that frustrating I know
I need to do this thing, and yet I can't
even start, kind of like staring at a locked door
with no key. On the flip side, dissociation, a hallmark
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of CPTSD, is more like, I don't even feel like
a person who could do that thing. It's that heavy
fog where you're detached from yourself and your surroundings. So
while they might look similar on the surface, they come
from very different places. Next, let's tackle masking versus fawning.
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Autistic folks mask to blend in and avoid sensory overload
or social punishment. It's that I'm acting normal so I
won't be singled out. Vibe Now, fawning, which is often
a response to trauma is more about emotional survival. It's
the act of being overly agreeable to keep the peace,
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even if it means sacrificing your own needs. Both are
exhausting and heartbreaking, but knowing the difference is crucial. And
then we have sensory overload versus hypervigilance. We autistic folks
know the struggle of sensory overload all too well. It's
when the lights are too bright, the sound are too loud,
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and that tag on your shirt feels like it's made
of knives. Hypervigilance, on the other hand, is that constant
state of scanning the room for danger, even when you
know you're safe. It's a survival mechanism born out of trauma. Again,
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while both can push us into sensory and emotional overdrive,
their roots are different. Here's the kicker. You can have both.
That's what makes this so incredibly tricky. A twenty twenty
one study in the Journal of Psychiatric Research found that
over sixty percent of women with late diagnosed autism had
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also experienced long term trauma before the age of eighteen.
Our brains were adapting in the only ways they knew how,
but we were building a trauma fortress instead of a
solid foundation complex. Right, but bear with me because understanding
these distinctions can be life changing. It's all about getting
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to know ourselves better so we can advocate for the
right support and care. All right, stick around because up
next to something very personal, my own story, I promise
it'll be worth it. So picture this. I'm in my
therapist's office trying to explain why I can't do simple
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things like reply to emails or eat before two pm,
and she says, well, have you ever considered that might
be trauma? And there it was a simple question that
flipped my world upside down. I mean, I was already
diagnosed with ADHD and autism, so trauma that felt like
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a sneaky stowaway hiding in the cargo hold. Growing up,
the chaos wasn't just from adult life. It started early,
Like way early. I have an older brother who tormented
me emotionally. He consistently made me feel small and discredited
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everything I said, all under the classic guise of sibling teasing.
But it wasn't teasing. It was targeted emotional harm that
shaped how I saw myself and interacted with the world,
and when the people around you, family teachers, even friends
minimize or laugh it off. That's when the gaslighting begins.
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You start questioning your own reality before you even have
the words to name it. Fast forward to now, and
here I am a mom trying to juggle raising kids
while dealing with my own neurodivergence and trauma history. Let
me tell you, being a neurodivergent mother has its own
set of challenges. You're expected to be regulated, consistent, and
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stable for your kids, but when your brain is ping
ponging between past trauma and executive dysfunction, sometimes it's a
win if we just keep the tiny humans alive and fed.
And when one of those tiny humans is also neurodivergent,
it's like a whole other level of a mental marathon.
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And here's the kicker. I'm not just a mom. I'm
also studying to be a therapist. That means I'm holding
space for clients, absorbing all this theory, and trying to
heal my own inner child, all while making mac and
cheese for two neurospicy boys. It's not glamorous, not by
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a long shot, but it's real. If you're doing the
same dance, I see you. You're doing great, even when
it feels like a chaotic mess. So that's a peek
into my life. Maybe it resonates with you, maybe it doesn't,
but I share it to let you know that you're
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not alone. There's a whole community of us out here
finding our way through this beautifully messy intersection of trauma
and neurodivergence together. Stay with me, because there's more to
come up. Next. We're diving into some professional insights that
might just change the way you look at your own experiences.
(09:37):
All right, folks, it's time to get a bit more scholarly.
Let's pull in some expert wisdom to deepen our understanding
of this tangled web of CPTSD, ADHD and autism. So
here's something that doctor Devinprice, a social psychologist and autistic advocate,
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mentioned that really hit home for me. He said, and
I quote, autistic burnout and trauma can be almost indistinguishable
in their symptom presentation, but only one gets talked about
in clinical settings. Think about that for a second. We
often focus on trauma in isolation without considering how it
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intertwines with neurodivergence. It's like trying to solve a puzzle
without ever looking at the picture on the box. Next,
let's touch on something from Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD
From Surviving to Thriving. This book is a gold mine
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for understanding CPTSD not as a personality flaw, but as
an adaptive response to prolonged trauma. Walker makes it clear
CPTSD isn't about being broken, It's about your survival system
working over time. This is crucial because it changes the
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narrative from what's wrong with me to look how resilient
I've been. That's a massive shift in perspective, especially for
those of us who have been gas lit into thinking
we're just overly sensitive or flawed. Now here's a big
piece of the puzzle. Most CPTSD diagnostic models were developed
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without considering neurodivergent brains. Shocker right. This means that people
like us might not fit neatly into classic diagnostic criteria.
We might stem while talking about trauma, need breaks, or
want to doodle while processing hard stuff. This doesn't make
us resistant treatment. It just means we're wired uniquely. Clinical
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settings need to catch up and accommodate these differences. It's
not about fitting us into the mold, it's about expanding
the mold. To fit us. Finally, let's talk about therapy.
Traditional talk therapy doesn't always cut it for neurodivergent folks,
especially when trauma is in the mix. We might need
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therapists who understand neurodivergence deeply and can tailor their approaches accordingly.
It's about offering somatic that at their therapies, emdr ifs,
and other methods that can meet us where we are.
We need validation for our experiences and routines that honor
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our nervous systems instead of punishing them. Stick around because
up next we're going to dive into some actionable steps.
How do we bring this understanding into our daily lives?
Stay tuned? All right, folks, If you're still with me,
thank you for holding on through this deep dive. Now
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let's switch gears and chat about what we can actually
do about all this. How can we navigate this roller
coaster of trauma and neurodivergence. Grab a pen because this
is the actionable part you've been waiting for. First Off,
trauma informed therapy is key, especially therapy that understands neuro divergence.
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Not all therapists are created equal when it comes to
grasping the nuances of ADHD and autism, So don't be
afraid to shop around. Find someone who gets it and
can offer the empathy and specialized techniques you deserve. Therapists
who are aware of how neuro divergent brains work can
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make a world of difference. Let's talk somatic work. Trust me,
this stuff is a game chain. A lot of us
end folks live in our heads and traditional talk therapy
doesn't always cut it. Somatic therapies help you connect with
your body and process trauma on a deeper level. Techniques
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like deep breathing, grounding exercises, and even movement can help
regulate our nervous systems in ways words simply can't. And
let's not forget emdr ifs and brain spotting. These therapies
go beyond the traditional talk and dive into the deep,
often unspoken layers of our trauma and responses. Emdr, for example,
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utilizes eye movements to process and integrate traumatic memories. It
sounds a bit out there, but for many it's been
life changing. Ifs works on understanding and harmonizing the different
parts within us, the inner child, the protector, the critic.
Brain Spotting helps us locate focus and process trauma stored
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in the brain. They can meet us where traditional methods
fall short. Okay, here's a big one. Validate your own experiences.
Even if everyone around you is gaslighting you into thinking
you're overreacting or misremembering, hold on to your truth. Your
experiences are real and valid Trust your feelings and perceptions.
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When you validate your own experiences, you start building a
stronger sense of self, one that's resilient against external minimization.
Building routines that honor your nervous system instead of punishing
it is huge. If a nine to five grind with
no breaks shreds your sanity, then it's not the job
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for you. Create pockets of rest and joy throughout your day.
Maybe that means taking short walks, doodling, or even scheduling
time to just do nothing. It's not about being productive
every second of the day. It's about being kind to
yourself and, last, but certainly not least, community support is invaluable.
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You're listening to this podcast, which tells me you're already
a step ahead in seeking connection and understanding. Surround yourself
with people who get it, who get you, whether it's
online forum, support groups, or even just a close knit
group of friends who understand your quirks. Having that community
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can make all the difference. Also, remember, healing isn't a
linear path. Adjust your pace based on your needs. Some
days you'll be ready to take on the world, other
days you'll need a Netflix binge and a weighted blank
Both are completely okay. Honor where you are in your
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journey without judgments. So there you have it, some actionable
steps to navigate this intersection of trauma and neurodivergence. The
goal here is not just survival, but thriving in a
way that's uniquely your own. Stick around for the final
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segment where we wrap things up and talk about how
you can be a part of this growing, incredible community.
All right, lovely listeners, We've unpacked quite a bit today,
diving deep into the confusing but crucial lines between CPTSD
and autism ADHD. We've explored the symptom similarities and differences,
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shared some personal stories, and leaned on some professional insights
to broaden our understanding. I hope you feel a bit
more seen and understood, because at the end of the day,
visibility is the first step toward healing. If you enjoyed
this episode and found it enlightening. Please hit follow, leave
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a review, or share it with someone who might benefit
from hearing these insights. Your support helps us grow and
reach more people who need to hear they aren't alone.
And a personal shout out to all the wonderful moms, students, survivors,
and Spectrum queens tuning in This community is for you.
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Your stories, your struggles, and your victories matter. So until
next time, unmask boldly and stay tender. I'm Elizabeth and
this has been fem on the Spectrum. Don't forget to
check the show notes for any resources mentioned in today's episode.
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Take care s