July 24, 2025 • 49 mins
In this episode, we dive into the intense world of love bombing—what it is, why it happens, and how to tell the difference between genuine affection and emotional manipulation. We’ll break down the red flags, compare it to healthy falling in love, and give you tools to protect your heart without closing it off.
Fifty Shades of Bullshit is broadcast live Thursdays at 4PM PT on K4HD Radio - Hollywood Talk Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Fifty Shades of Bullshit TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Fifty Shades of Bullshit Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Fifty Shades of Bullshit is broadcast live Thursdays at 4PM PT on K4HD Radio - Hollywood Talk Radio (www.k4hd.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Fifty Shades of Bullshit TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Fifty Shades of Bullshit Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following show contains adult content. It's not our intent
to offend anyone, but we want to inform you that
if you are a child under the age of eighteen
or get offended easily, this next show may not be
for you. The content, opinions, and subject matter of these
shows are solely the choice of your show hosts and
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(00:21):
directed to those show hosts. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hey everyone, and welcome to Fifty Shades of Bullshit. I'm
your host, Christine Lalan and this is the podcast where
we uncover the truth about online dating. Now let's begin.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hey everybody, I'm Christine and I'm Steve. Hey, this is
fifty Shades of Bullshit. Happy new week, everybody. How's it going?
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Yeah? Midweek? Midweek? Well after midweek?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Wow week, Ben, Steve.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
My week has been really good. And I was thinking
I have this question for you. Okay, it's adjacent to
our topic of the day, not even adjacent, but in
the realm of relationships of love. Okay, because we're talking
about love bombing today. But then we're gonna take a
little detour just from them, because I'm really curious about
your thoughts on this. Have you ever had someone say
(01:23):
I want to be just friends or have you ever
been the person to say that? Yeah, yeah, of course, Yeah,
what is that about? I'm very curious about the just friends?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Just What do I interpretets is that they don't want
a romantic relationship, that they don't want to be intimate
or develop any kind of feelings about love, but they
like you enough to have a friendship feeling, and they
don't want to hurt your feelings or mislead you. I
(01:58):
would rather somebody say to me, hey, I just I
would prefer to be friends than anything else, because that
just says to me that they value who I am
as a person, whereas the ones that run away or
goes to you or whatever are the ones that you
know take advantage of you.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Well that's a great question, But that's a great question.
So you do value someone, right. One of the one
of the things that a lot of people are talking
about is they're dating with intention.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I think I've heard that more in the last three
or four years than ever. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
So let's say someone's dating with intention and they come
across someone who wants to be just friends. Oh what
do you think at that point?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
No, I would walk away. I would say, hey, I
appreciate that, but I have enough friends and I certainly
don't need any male friends that I don't really have
any strong long term ties with, with the potential of
a man that I want to date with intention come
into my life, because I feel like a lot of
(03:00):
that is you're blocking your way if you have people
in your life that are keeping you distracted from moving
towards the situation that you want.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Like, yeah, I'm really glad you say that, because you know,
I come across a lot of clients who are in
this phase. They may not have used the term dating
with intention, but they want to have a partnership. They
want a relationship, and they come across some kind of experience.
I've experienced it myself too, but someone's not as doesn't
desire them as much as they want to be desired.
(03:34):
They don't see a future for some kind of romantic relationship.
It's really interesting. It's important to actually be clear about
what it is that you want. And I was thinking
about this today because I have this client I'm working with,
and if you continue to see someone who just is
not interested in going in the same direction, like you
have more feelings for them, or you're maybe haven't caught
(03:55):
feelings yet, but there's definitely desire and they want to
be friends. But you continue along that path, it's going
to keep reflecting back to you that they don't desire you.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Right, And I think I think a lot of women
do that, don't you think, because they think they'll change
them or they'll something a click and they'll fall for them,
and you know, as they get to know me more,
he'll see how fucking great I am. Yeah, I do
that in a walking fashion because they never do. It's
not going to change. I mean maybe maybe, but you know,
(04:31):
not always.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
Yeah. I think it's really important to know where you
stand and they're really clear about where you stand and
be clear about what the other person stands. That's really easy.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think people are afraid to discuss things. Yeah, okay,
so I think maybe my generation, like gin gen X,
we didn't talk about things because our parents didn't talk
about that.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Parents were told you were to be seen, not heard.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
I remember a lot.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Growing up of hearing you know, you don't talk about
politics and religion, you know, in certain circumstances, and money
was one of those. I grew up being ashamed to
discuss money. And it's hard to be a business woman
where you're dealing with multimillion dollars worth of money every year,
you know, for your clients, and then you're afraid to
(05:28):
discuss money. And I had to get over that real fast.
I think that people of our generation didn't. We're taught
not to discuss things too, and we're starting to learn.
But then the generations under us, not my older children,
thank you, to meet a lot better. My youngest one
(05:49):
is my older ones are millennials, and my youngest one
is a gen ZZ and they don't really want to
communicate them and you want to talk to you or
look at you are always constantly looking at phones, looking.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
At and you know that to communicate with an emoji
than a full sentence. But there's something interesting also, there's
something interesting where there was kind of a mystique in
dating and relationships, where there was because I'm gen X
also like this, the unspoken gestures and unspoken hints. And
(06:27):
I have to be honest, I'm so glad that we've
moved into an age of consent where you actually lay
it out there. But I think it requires us to
move beyond the emoji communications and actually learn full of
communication because I know that one of the things we
might have talked about in previous calls is our previous
podcasts is ghosting and how can we have full and
(06:53):
complete communications, which could be a nice tie into what
we were talking about today.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yeah, I think a lot of people are avoided and
they don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. They don't want
to see someone cry, they don't want to feel guilty
for not liking them, or they're like others that you
know are on the dating sites and they date multiple
people and then you just kind of let everybody else
fall off and you keep the one that keeps going.
(07:21):
And you know, I'm guilty of that. It's not like
I tried to ghost anybody. It's just the conversations fall off,
feelings don't connect or match, you know. And we're in
a modern age of being on a website, going from
emails to texting to maybe a phone call before you
go out, and if it's just not there, it's just
(07:43):
not there. And I think a lot of people are like, well,
I don't have anything invested in this person, So why
should I have to say, hey, you're not for me
when they're just gonna cry and get upset and say
why you're an asshole? You know, I think people just
don't want to deal with the message finess of it,
and people can get very messy when it comes to
their emotions.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Yeah. So, you know, you remind me of something that
we might do an episode on the future. Where is
when you are engaging with someone on a dating app
or with minimal connection other than photos or snippets of
texts and chat chatting and maybe a few phone conversations,
(08:25):
all that you really have is your projections of them.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
In a way, what when it falls off or you
don't feel spark. What you're really saying is I don't
know enough about you to project onto you what I
really what I'm projecting, you know, because you know, I
don't know who you are, but for some reason I
can't project onto you I want you to.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Be Yes, I do believe that because I think in
the beginning and when people get very excited they feel
some kind of spark or something with someone, they tend
to not know that they are mirroring, projecting, and they
(09:09):
just want it so badly that you know that hitting
my mic, that that other person may not even be
feeling it at all, you're feeling it, so then you're
projecting it onto them. And then you get home and
you know, you think it went great, you call everybody,
(09:29):
oh my god, I met the one, and then you
know you're ghosted.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
And I think what we're really looking for is dry kindling.
So I a spark onto you and you're like.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Night, Yes, I think that's what they want. I mean,
I think a lot of people are just desperate to
find the kindling, you know, that fire, that spark, you know,
I do. I think people are really desperate for love
and connection. I think that we're very disconnected anymore. You know,
we're not even connected as a country or community. Some
(10:03):
communities don't. You know. We live in Los Angeles, we
got community pride. But do you know your fucking neighbor
down the street? No, No, you don't. You know small
town America back in the day, Yes, we did, so
I had. I went home recently and I was talking
(10:23):
to a handful of people that are left in my hometown,
and they all said the entire town is filled with
new people. Nobody knows anybody. Wow, And I was shocked.
There's only one hundred and seventy five people in my hometown.
How the actual thing? Do you not know your neighbor?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Right?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Interesting because I must be an anomaly because I live
in a building where there's eighteen units and I know
my neighbors.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
See, I love that I know my immediate neighbors.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Here.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
My neighbors like me because when I go and cook
as a chef and I come home after an event,
I have a bunch of packaged food. I take it
to all my neighbors.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
I want to live in your building. Right of my
neighbors is in the entertainment industry and they have catering
and Nora.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I love that. Yeah, I know, it's like, Look, I
do it for a reason. It's it's kind of I
if I need something, I need to know that. I
need that I know my neighbors. You know, if someone
in the building needs something, I want them to know
that they can come to me, that I'm a safe place.
You know, I need that. You know, some of the
(11:37):
people in my building I don't like, you know, I
avoid them.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
And let's hope they're not listening.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Uh yeah, oh no, I have numbers saved to my
phone for my neighbors that are like weird neighbor, you know,
soccer neighbor. Oh, I have it.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I have it.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
I have to label them so I know who's calling
and the weird neighbor. I tell all my friends, I said, Hey,
if I go missing, you got to go look at
number X y Z, because well.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
You have already Mickey and Anastasia or in the chat
already saying some things. We love it when you participate.
Just so you know, I love looking over at the chat.
And if we don't get you right away, please don't
take that personally. We will get but we love the inction. Yes,
but some just just don't worry about it and let
things h naturally. Yeah, she's probably referring to that we
(12:35):
were talking about with relationships and Anastesia. It happens.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
You know, what do you think, Steve, is the difference
between say, the love bombing and when you feel a healthy,
real love connection or feeling in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
That's a great question, because you know, I was thinking
about you. We were talking about this as a possible topic,
and I would suspect that we don't know in the beginning. No,
I think there's a lot of chemistry going on. You know,
our entire inner pharmacy has released all these chemicals, and
we feel sensation, we feel emotion, We like the way
(13:19):
they smell, like the way they look.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
You know.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
So I would suspect, and this is probably not true
all the time, but I suspect most of us are
wanting to find a connection. We're looking for what we like.
Some people might be looking for what they don't like,
so they're trying to disconnect or dismiss or find someone
who doesn't fit their pictures. And this could be a
good hint for people. You keep finding people who you
(13:45):
don't like and you don't connect with, maybe you're looking
for ways to cross them off the list rather than
going into the experience. Yes, let's see what I could
like and enjoy and appreciate about this person's That could
be a hot tip. I don't know. I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Well, I have some signs that you might be getting
love bombed, and then I have what real healthy love
feels like. Okay, so I have a couple of different things,
and you know, interject wherever you'd like. So the signs
that I that I jotted down that might be getting
love bombed in your you don't know means it's like, Okay,
you've never felt this way before. You're my soulmate, and
(14:24):
all of that is coming in the first week. It's
the intense declarations that are way too soon and not
I'm not saying a month, month and a half, two months,
three months, whatever, I'm talking about first week. They're like,
you're the woman or man of my dreams and you're
my soul way, and I just have never felt like
(14:47):
this because every single time you feel these feelings, they're different.
So of course you've never felt these feelings before. They're
not they're not They're new.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Yeah, you know. So so let me ask you what
someone is eager. They're just so eager that they come
across as over eager, like they're just so want a connection.
Maybe they're coming out of a long dry spell and
they've been lonely, or for sure a lot of us
experienced that during COVID, where we just kind of oh
my gosh, I can't I can't believe I've been alone.
(15:20):
I haven't seen a touch to human being a long time.
So I'd imagine there was that phase.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Yeah, that's you know, sometimes you feel these really intense
things and they they go they burn hot real fast
and they and they're like a fast burn, you.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Know, like a part It goes out very quickly and
you just have to pay attention. It's like something like
that isn't going to last, you know, six months to
a year. But keep in mind that love bombing isn't
going to last more than a couple of months.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
So well, let me ask you something. Did you did
you come up with a definition for love bombing because
there's a quality of the word or the phrase that
implies there's some manipulation going on.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Yeah, there, I think that it is. I just don't
even know if some people who love bomb even know
that that's what they're doing. I think that they have
this they're kind of innate to manipulate.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Nate down.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I like that one that some people just have this
innate quality or thing about them. They're you know, maybe
they're not a massive narcissist, that they've got narcissism behavior
and they need things to go their way, and to
manipulate somebody, you have to love bomb them. And I
don't think that everybody intentionally. Well, this is the thing.
(16:53):
I don't love bomb. I Yeah, I might say that
I'm really like hot for some unreal quick or or
I you know, I can't wait to see them again
and ship like that, but I'm not going to tell
somebody they're my only thing in my life. I've never
felt this way. I'm you're my soulmate, I love you.
(17:14):
I'm not going to say that ship that fast because
I'm healthy and I'm healing, and people who have unhealed
trauma are going to get sucked into that very easily manipulated.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Very one thing that first of all, the you said
in order to manipulate someone, you have to love about them.
That's not necessarily.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
So you yeah, no, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Manipulate people with disparaging remarks. Yeah, you know, like diss them,
so to speak, and kind of put them down. And
that might be because it might hook people in.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
You know, what I see a lot of, Steve, is
people who love bomb early and then switch to what
you just said. Yeah, so love bombing can't be sustained
because one, it's not natural for them to sustain that
because they don't really feel it. It's a manipulation tool. Okay,
it's just a tool. And then that love bombing starts
(18:12):
switching to you know, snide remarks, put downs, make you
second guess yourself, make you feel like why am I
always not good enough for? That will happen other ways
of showing love bombing is pressure to commit early, either
(18:33):
moving in marriage, exclusivity. Those are so aware of those things,
lavish gifts, attension that feels disproportionate.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Well, let's slow down and take some of these apart
some because first of all, I was gonna add that
some of this comes from the historical way that people
used to court one another. You know, if you look
at the movies and bringing flowers and bringing chard, these
what we would call big overtures, which nowadays might be
(19:05):
you bring flowers on the first States. That's a lot.
I love it, You love it? Yes the state?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
What I would say, I would think that's too much.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I don't know, I love it. You know, I'm a
girl who loves to be wooed. I like the old
courtship stuff. I want a man to bring me.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Well, how do you differentiate that between that and love bombing?
Speaker 3 (19:30):
It's respectful, it's a man showing a woman that he
appreciates her beauty, or her time, or her efforts, and
he is showing her that he can be romantic and thoughtful.
That that goes a long way for me. That shows
me that a man's going to bring me or send
me flowers because he's thinking about me, not because he's
(19:50):
done something fucking wrong and has to send them to me.
The last time I got flowers was from a boyfriend
who sent me flowers because he fucked up.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
And I'm going to suggest here, and this would be
great to get people piping in about this, that if
are you familiar with the love languages? So there's a
book written by I forgot his name, but he's written
this really great book and it's it's very elegant in
its simplicity about five distinct ways of expressing love and
how we receive love too, and one of them is
(20:22):
giving gifts. So I would suspect that you respond really
well to receiving gifts, but I was.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
No go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
I would suggest that some people that might be a
little much on a first date, maybe their love language
was not gift giving. That might be a lot. I
don't know, what do we what do we hear from
our listeners.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I was just saying the other yesterday or day before
to someone I know. We were talking about, you know,
receiving and giving to other people in a relationship in
the love language kind of thing, and I said, personally,
I feel that the person who is able to tap
(21:06):
into all the love language for themselves and be able
to give those that's your more rounded person. That's your
person that's open to receiving in the proper way in
a relationship. And it's a give and take of equal value.
And maybe it could be one day it's a gift
giving the next day, next week it's you know, you're
(21:27):
that emotional support or you are showing up for your partner.
That's that's you know, there's so many different ways to
do love languages, but people get stuck in saying, oh,
I just I'm a quality time person. Well, if you're
just giving me quality time, you're not feeling all my needs.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Well I think that's part of the point of the
book is to actually be able to see which one
is your natural you know, you're naturally gone to expressing
this way or receiving, And I think learning to be
multi multi lingual in the love life is really the goal.
I agree with you that some people say, oh, well,
(22:04):
I'm only this or I'm only that, then they get
stuck in a place where it's actually a way to
understand yourself and understand your partner. And which is why
I said, I think it's elegant and simple and a
great way to kind of reflect on yourself and your partner.
But going back to my point and overture that that
(22:26):
would be a giving of a gift on a first
eight that might be a lot for somebody.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Do you it can be?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
But do you feel like words of affirmation because the
things that you listed that you equate with love bombing
were about verbal overtures or expressions.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
Wait say that.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Read the ones that you read before and those most
of those are equated with verbal expressions of love. So
you read the things that you were saying about love bombing.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Pressure to commit earlyvish gifts or attention that feels dispropripeda
not all of that money, once all your time, and
isolates you from others.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Okay, so now I have all the different love languages almost.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Quick emotional shifts, and it feels like a high. Those
are my six points.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Okay, so what are the what is the underlying quality
that it's I would guess that it's not attuned. It's
not sensitive to how it's going to be received. Like
even in a friendship, if I was overly let's say
I acknowledge you all the time, you would think I
was up to something. It would be suspicious, wouldn't you.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Well, I think if someone is over the top and
too much of one thing, that yeah, can be like,
what the fuck, dude, you're drowning me with compliments? Can
you give me a second? That's why I was saying,
you have to have this balance between being able to
be emotionally supportive to somebody, to give words of after
(24:00):
but be like, hey, I think you're fucking hot today
or I think you're amazing today, and just you know,
leave it at that. You know, words of affirmation when
someone may not expect it is amazing. But it's not
something that you want to like overwhelm somebody with or
they're just going to run. If you want to talk
about ghosting, that's a seaon.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Ever, Well, when we were prepping for this conversation today,
I told you about the word limerence. Yeah, is that
limerence is there was a psychologist who created the term
to describe a kind of love, and limerence is I'm
going to read the definition. Limerence is a state of intense,
(24:44):
obsessive infatuation with another person, often characterized by intrusive thoughts
and a strong desire for reciprocation. It's distinct from love
in that it's typically one sided and based an uncertainty
about the other's limericks can be all consuming, impacting mood
and behavior, and while not officially a mental disorder, it
(25:08):
can be akin to an addiction or obsession. So it's
kind of like being infatuated with someone. It's a quality
of how you express your desire or your interest in someone.
So when we talked about love bombing as a manipulation,
this might be another aspect of why someone might come
(25:31):
on so strong. Is they get swept up in something
they are over, like like it does feel like the
first time, and like you point it out, yeah, it's
the first time, every time, every times, but it might
have this quality to it where it feels like, oh
my god, I've never felt this way before. So maybe
(25:52):
there's an aspect of it that's not deliberately manipulative, like
I'm trying to get something from you, but I am
swept up. And then I'd see there's another piece that
also could be trauma based, where I feel intense connection
with you and I'm afraid I might lose it, So
(26:14):
that might be another as super trauma. I love bombing
or you know limerens that oh my gosh, I'm attracted
to you and I'm afraid it's going to go away
or I have to demonstrate my worthy.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
That's anxious attachment. That's more of a yeah, the way
that someone attaches to people. You know, we've talked about anxious,
you know, other attachments before. This kind of goes along
with that though. I mean, I think that people who
love bomb really are seeing people. Listen, people who are
(26:55):
narcissists or manipulative, they can read people, and you know,
people who are in healthy who are have an anxious
attachment or they can see that from the other person,
and what they're doing is knowing they can use those
love bombs on them. I've had people try who love
(27:18):
bomb me in the past when I was you know,
still in my trauma, and I fell for it easily
because all I wanted to be was loved and wanted
and needed and all these wonderful things that they were
slamming in my face and the next thing, you know,
it's like massive abuse, massive abuse, you know from husbands.
(27:41):
And I kind of throw that in there last second.
But I think that when you start to heal, when
you started dressing the trauma and you are facing your
shadows and working on yourself, love bombing isn't isn't gonna happen.
(28:02):
Because I had somebody from my past recently, not recently recently,
but fairly recently, someone from my past who I had
dated casually and remained really good friends with over the years,
going through some massive like drug and alcohol problems, and
I wasn't aware of it and was messaging me and
(28:24):
calling me and saying, you know, I've been in love
with you all these years and I need, you know,
to be with you, and I can't be a part anymore.
This is crazy and love on me big time. And
I almost kind of failed fell for it because I
knew him so long and we were friends for so long,
and we like casually dated for a couple of years.
(28:47):
So I just thought, WHOA, maybe he really does care
about me, and I would consider looking at this because
he was such a close friend and that could be
a really great relationship if it worked out right. No, no, no,
I found out, of course that he was drinking and
I had a lot of drugs going on, and the
(29:07):
love bombing was really every time he did it, though.
Understand even though I said I almost fell for it,
every time he did it, I literally saw it. I
saw it. I want to and I pointed it out
every time I say, hey, listen, I understand that you're
feeling big feelings right now, but just so you know,
(29:30):
what you're doing to me is actually love bombing me,
and I need you to slow down. And when that
started happening, then he started getting angry. So when you
confront the love bomber or the manipulator, they get real
defensive and angry, angry, real fast. And that imploded on
itself tremendously fast, and I'm really happy it did so that.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
After I have I'm going to flip the script on
you a little bit. Yeah, ask you if you looked
from a different perspective, like nobody's love bombing you. They're
not about to love bomb you. They're not out to
manipulate you. They're just playing out their desire, playing out
their trauma, playing out their history, tending to their wounding,
(30:19):
or avoiding their wounding, living their life. And along comes Christine,
and they want something with you. They want to connect
with you, they want a friendship, they want you as
a lover, they want to you know, they may want
something from you. And here comes Christine, who is not
a victim. You're not a victim. You're doing you. So
(30:42):
if they come at you, they're not doing it to you.
They're just doing their thing. And I suspect that if
they touch upon your wounding, it's going to occur like
you're a victim in that story and you're getting love bombed,
and they're these people out there with love bombs and
they're coming at you, and you get to be at
(31:05):
the effect of their behavior, their manipulation. But what if
nobody's out there doing it to you? But no one
in our lives? You know, you see, I have this
saying eventually our villains have to stop being villains. We
need to take out of this I've created my life.
If you didn't have your history, they'd love bombing and say, oh,
(31:29):
isn't that cute? You wouldn't respond the way that you did. Now,
I think the way you said respond the way that
you said you responded, was an upgrade from the way
a lot of people respond They just yes.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Right now. Understand that if he was a stranger coming
into my life and love bombing me like that so quickly,
I just would have walked away and wouldn't have said
a fucking thing. I just would have walked. But he's
an old friend, like many many, many, many many years friend,
so and I could tell that something was off and
I knew something was wrong, so you know, I did
(32:05):
work it through with them to the point where I'm like, listen,
you need to go get help for the drugs and alcohol,
because I can see, I can feel it, I can
hear it, you know, because we were on the phone
or end video or whatever. But the thing is that,
you know, I said to him, you know, look, you're
you're doing these behaviors. I don't know why. We need
(32:26):
to figure out what is going on with you, and
then found out it was the problem. But I'm going
to point it out to somebody if if if I'm
in a relationship in some form with someone not just
a stranger of a stranger, I don't give two bucks.
They can take the door right there and I won't
have to say a thing now real love. I do
(32:50):
want to talk about how healthy love looks. Okay, it
grows organically with mutual curiosity and shared values. I think
that there's room to breathe. There's no pressure, no rush,
you know, it's it's moments of that that that's not overwhelming.
(33:11):
You can tell they care about you, but they're not
pressuring you. It's rooted in honesty, respect, and emotional safety.
I think that is the hugest one for me anyway.
They don't put you on a pedestal. You're truly seen
with flaws and all, and the relationship brings clarity, not confusion.
(33:35):
So those are my five points about what healthy love
feels like.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
What about you, Steve Well, I'm thinking about that and
I would say that, yes, those are certain ideals that
might be present in a loving relationship. I think love
is a created experience. It's a it's a place to
come from. It's a it's not a noun. It's not
(34:01):
a thing. You can't go buy it in the store.
You know, it doesn't have a packaging to it. It
looks different every time.
Speaker 6 (34:09):
It does look different. Every time, and I think as
a place to come from, it's a declarative state. Like
when you say I love you, I am creating it.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
I am not. It doesn't have to look a particular way.
And sometimes like all of those things that you said,
absolutely those are wonderful, as well as all the things
we learned from the love songs and the movies that
make us feel a particular way.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I just think people want to grasp onto that so
badly because we've shown it all the time. Oh, this
is what love is supposed to look like. Nobody knows
what's supposed to look like. For you, it shows up
in different ways and for everybody.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
I think you really figure out what love is when
it's messy. Yeah, you know, when it's not easy, but
you love one anyways when uh, you know, look at
what we see when someone dies. We suddenly nobody's talking
trash about somebody when somebody dies. Well sometimes, but but
(35:12):
you start to think of the things that you valued
about them, right, and the other stuff just kind of
drops to the wayside. I think that you know it's
love is. It's like a muscle to work, I think. So.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
I think that you have you have to learn to
work through the things. It's like it's like going to
the gym and working out. You you're learning how to
use the machine, you're learning how it works for you.
I just the muscle of love is like every other
muscle on your body. You got to work them out.
So I think something's wrong with our comments section because
(35:48):
they're coming through the studio now and I don't want
to address a few of them.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Okay, let's yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Missy says small things like flowers is a nice gesture
like they did back in the day. That is not
love me. I agree, mister.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
I think that was in response to my question. Maybe. Yeah.
I think it's a wonderful gesture. I love getting in
receiving flowers. I'm not I need to develop the capacity
to give gifts. I think of people when I'm out.
I dated someone once where I knew that their love
language was gifts, and it seems to be big overtures.
(36:23):
Did you do things I tried? I learned, you know,
like I you know, when I was out, if I
saw something, even something little, I would buy. Yeah, that's
the best that it's a gesture of I'm thinking of
you and you know, so that's something that I've always
valued when I see someone giving someone else a gift,
I'm like, oh, I'm so bad at that. So I
(36:44):
know that's like a weak muscle for me. See what
else we had, Mickey say, uh.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
Oh, I think when we were talking about the different
generations and how they deal with communication, because Makey says
it will depend on the generations to be honest, doing
with respect and intent. Yeah, I think that's what that
was with Anastasia says the difference between what is the
(37:12):
difference between love bombing and love at first sight?
Speaker 4 (37:14):
What do you think, Steve, Well, remember when I talked
about first those first moments, it's you know, all of
our chemistry gets in vigor and released.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
It's not love bombing. When you like are initially struck
by somebody, it's your chemistry recognizing that other chemistry that
works for you. It's a it's a it's a it's
a vibrational level, you know, it's it's a lot of
different factors that are going on inside your body. We're
(37:49):
all made of energy. Your energy is working with another
person's energy, and that's not necessarily you know, love bombing. Now,
if someone walks up and immediate is like gushing over you,
and it's like, oh my god, you're the most beautiful
woman I've ever seen, and you've got to go back
with me because I got to marry you, and blah
(38:09):
blah blah. You know, I've met people who are like that.
That can be love bumbing, but love at first sight,
that instant attraction that we call on the site.
Speaker 4 (38:20):
That's I wonder thought, what is it like? Is it
always sight like I know? And where does that come from?
Like when I see someone, is it reminding of me
of my third grade girlfriend or the girl who said
no when I was at that bar in my twenties,
or you know the Is it something I saw and
(38:43):
it's some kind of visual imprint that I'm attracted to.
Is it the way that they move their body? Because
I know I'm very attuned to the way someone moves
their body.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
For me, it's seriously, I can I very strong smell.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
Smell is a big one for me too.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Smell is important if I catch that ooh, And it's
not so much colones or perfumes that I'm smelling, it's
their chemistry. I'm smelling the hormonal chemistry I'm smelling. And
I can read people psychically too, so I feel what
(39:23):
I feel energy is a lot stronger I think than
most people. So for me in my past, before I
started working on healing, I took that as the things
that I could read in people. I just I didn't
understand it. It was really hard for me to decipher
what I was feeling, what they were feeling, what was happening,
(39:45):
what wasn't happening, what I was attracted to. Now that
I'm stronger as a psychic, I work that muscle all
the time, and then I'm also healing myself. I'm working
that muscle all the time time. So the two combos
of that puts me in a place where I really
recognize repulsion repulsion in what's the opposite of that attraction?
(40:11):
And I read people very well. I can, I can,
you know. So it's different for me than I think
the average person, or I think the average person could
also have psychic abilities and just not know what they
are like I did.
Speaker 4 (40:23):
Yeah, I also suspect it's how people respond to you,
Like if I'm interested in someone, but they're not responding
to me like they're you know, they look off to
the side. We're at a dinner party or something, and
I'm I approach them and say hello, and they're they're
giving They're not giving me the time of day. They're
not responding to me, I think, And I think the
(40:46):
same is true when I notice people across the room
and I can see them responding to each other, It's like, Oh,
something's happening over there.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Observation is amazing.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
It's so much easier to see between two other people
than it is to see you over with me, like
a responding to me or they just yeah, yeah, exactly. Well.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Our last thing in here was Annastasia said people may
be on different levels of the relationship at the same time.
One may be ready for more too soon.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I kind of had this conversation with Janie's boyfriend after
last week when we were all hanging out on weekend.
You know, I said to him, you are in one
timeline and I'm in my own timeline, and our timelines
(41:37):
intercepted right now for us to be together. But your
perception of things is different than my perception of things
because of the things that has happened in your life
and the things that are happened in my life make
us perceive what is going on in this time together differently,
and in our separate timelines, we see things completely differently.
(42:01):
And I think that's just how people move through this
whole matrix kind of life we live in. Because we
were talking about the same thing, but in two different ways.
He was talking about it scientifically and I was talking
about it metaphorically, spiritually, you know that way. And he
(42:24):
couldn't see it. And he thought I was wrong because
it wasn't science. And I said it in science. It's
the same science as yours, but it's on a different
spectrum because my science goes on vibration and frequency and
yours goes on what the eye can fucking see. So
(42:44):
it's the same thing but different. We're seeing it, you know,
perspective different. And he didn't understand that. He didn't get it.
He was like frustrated with me, and I was, I
didn't care. I was like I told him, I said,
look at it. Is it a picture? Full picture? You
have the science, it only shows half the picture. Mine
is the other side of the coin, and it only
(43:06):
shows half the picture. But you put it together and
you get a full fucking picture. And I said, and
to me, I see both. I see your side, I
see my side. So I see the full picture. He
only had half, and so therefore he was frustrated, and
I was fine, I get it, you know which, I
don't discount how he feels because not everybody is on
(43:31):
that same wavelength as me. I'm not on the same
timeline as everybody. So a lot of what we go
through in relationships, if people just thought about it, like
you said, it's not against you. It just is circumstances.
That person's life has all this stuff around it. My
life has all this stuff around it, and we're trying
(43:51):
to bring them together and they don't always work. And
that's okay. We're not on the same timelines. We're not
in the same dimensions. We all have our own person
and we're lucky when we do cross path with somebody
that it works. We are very fortunate. I think that's
an amazing thing.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
Well, it's kind of back to the love languages or
different ways of communicating and relating. If someone is never
going to be interested in certain ways of communicating and
relating and you only are wanting this way of communicating
and relating, then you just might not be synchronized or
able to really meet in the middle somewhere.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
Yeah, it happens. It's timing. A lot of people say, oh,
it's just timing, and it's right. I mean, you could
be on one path and someone could be on that
same path with you for a second in time, and
then all of a sudden your past diverge. But who
knows if it could come back together. I mean it does.
There's plenty of people in my life that I've seen
(44:55):
in one instance and then all of a sudden, you know, ten, fifteen,
twenty years down the line, there they are again, and
it works differently this time.
Speaker 4 (45:03):
Than it did there. So I have a question that
in terms of our topic of love bombing and someone
coming at you with so much enthusiasm and love bombing you,
and if you are so strong in who you are,
maybe this is the time to just receive that kind
of love bombing, knowing that they're going to fall out
(45:26):
of love and meet with me within a couple of days,
there a week and likes it. Bask in the glory
of this and joy. I'd imagine that celebrities have that
kind of experience because people adore them, adore them, gushing
at them, and they really don't know that there's there's
(45:46):
a term for that, I can't think of it right now.
But where worship, what's that? Yeah, well you're you have whithing.
No I can't, I'll think of it eventually. But where
someone is so so only projecting onto you adoration and appreciation,
and it's almost like they feel like they have a
(46:07):
relationship with you and you really don't know each other.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
You know.
Speaker 4 (46:10):
It's like when you're a celebrity, people say, oh, I
know you, I feel like I know you. I imagine
celebrities here that all the.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Time, all the time, all the time. Well, I work
with a lot of celebrities, so it you know, speaking
of Ozzy Osborne is a client was a client of mine.
I did at least half almost two dozen events for them,
and that was a very sad moment anyway. But yeah,
(46:39):
they do go through that. I watch it, you know,
I see it. I observe that when I'm doing events
or I'm doing something with, you know, celebrities, and it's
very odd. I mean, I don't do that to other
celebrities because they are another human being and I don't
give a fuck.
Speaker 4 (46:55):
You know, it's you don't love celebrities, is that what
you mean?
Speaker 3 (47:01):
But I see it happen, and it's it can be overwhelming,
and I can I'm sure that I know. I understand
the people on the other side too. They're so excited there,
so you know, they feel like they're connected and they
like to have that connection with it, and then they're
going to go home and tell everybody in their life
that they met, you know, Brad Pitt, and you know, yeah,
(47:23):
everybody knows. Everybody who knows me on a personal level
knows that I walk around every day going, oh yeah,
Brad Pitt, he's my secret husband.
Speaker 4 (47:32):
Well, it looks like our time is up here. I
can't believe.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
You know, time flies, right, So I think next week
we're gonna do the uh. I think I'm hoping it's
next week that we're doing part two of what we
did last week with more than one pulic polyamory. Oh,
I had a surprise for you. I was going to
tell you before we're off. I know this is the
last second, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Rebel,
(47:57):
but we got a review. I just finished listening to
one of your episodes, one of the most entertaining podcasts
I've ever listened to. For real, explain, I responded, and said, wow,
what episode and they said, more than one polyamory. So
they listened to last week. It was the first episode
(48:19):
they listened to, and they said it was the most
entertaining podcast they've ever listened to.
Speaker 4 (48:24):
So well, if you're this week, thanks.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Yes, all right, everyone, thanks for showing up and being here.
We appreciate y'all every week. If you need anything, you
know how to reach out to us, and if you
don't look into the episode information, you'll have it. And
we're going to be here again, same time, same place
next week, and until then, let's just keep this shit real.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
If you enjoyed this episode, please share with your friends,
like and follow us on Instagram at fifty Shades.
Speaker 3 (48:56):
Of Underscore Bullshit and Facebook at fifty Shades of Bullshit.
Speaker 2 (49:02):
Thanks so much for listening, and we really hope to
see you again next week
The following show contains adult content. It's not our intent
to offend anyone, but we want to inform you that
if you are a child under the age of eighteen
or get offended easily, this next show may not be
for you. The content, opinions, and subject matter of these
shows are solely the choice of your show hosts and
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any affiliated stations. Any comments or inquiry you should be
(00:21):
directed to those show hosts. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hey everyone, and welcome to Fifty Shades of Bullshit. I'm
your host, Christine Lalan and this is the podcast where
we uncover the truth about online dating. Now let's begin.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hey everybody, I'm Christine and I'm Steve. Hey, this is
fifty Shades of Bullshit. Happy new week, everybody. How's it going?
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Yeah? Midweek? Midweek? Well after midweek?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Wow week, Ben, Steve.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
My week has been really good. And I was thinking
I have this question for you. Okay, it's adjacent to
our topic of the day, not even adjacent, but in
the realm of relationships of love. Okay, because we're talking
about love bombing today. But then we're gonna take a
little detour just from them, because I'm really curious about
your thoughts on this. Have you ever had someone say
(01:23):
I want to be just friends or have you ever
been the person to say that? Yeah, yeah, of course, Yeah,
what is that about? I'm very curious about the just friends?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Just What do I interpretets is that they don't want
a romantic relationship, that they don't want to be intimate
or develop any kind of feelings about love, but they
like you enough to have a friendship feeling, and they
don't want to hurt your feelings or mislead you. I
(01:58):
would rather somebody say to me, hey, I just I
would prefer to be friends than anything else, because that
just says to me that they value who I am
as a person, whereas the ones that run away or
goes to you or whatever are the ones that you
know take advantage of you.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Well that's a great question, But that's a great question.
So you do value someone, right. One of the one
of the things that a lot of people are talking
about is they're dating with intention.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I think I've heard that more in the last three
or four years than ever. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
So let's say someone's dating with intention and they come
across someone who wants to be just friends. Oh what
do you think at that point?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
No, I would walk away. I would say, hey, I
appreciate that, but I have enough friends and I certainly
don't need any male friends that I don't really have
any strong long term ties with, with the potential of
a man that I want to date with intention come
into my life, because I feel like a lot of
(03:00):
that is you're blocking your way if you have people
in your life that are keeping you distracted from moving
towards the situation that you want.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Like, yeah, I'm really glad you say that, because you know,
I come across a lot of clients who are in
this phase. They may not have used the term dating
with intention, but they want to have a partnership. They
want a relationship, and they come across some kind of experience.
I've experienced it myself too, but someone's not as doesn't
desire them as much as they want to be desired.
(03:34):
They don't see a future for some kind of romantic relationship.
It's really interesting. It's important to actually be clear about
what it is that you want. And I was thinking
about this today because I have this client I'm working with,
and if you continue to see someone who just is
not interested in going in the same direction, like you
have more feelings for them, or you're maybe haven't caught
(03:55):
feelings yet, but there's definitely desire and they want to
be friends. But you continue along that path, it's going
to keep reflecting back to you that they don't desire you.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Right, And I think I think a lot of women
do that, don't you think, because they think they'll change
them or they'll something a click and they'll fall for them,
and you know, as they get to know me more,
he'll see how fucking great I am. Yeah, I do
that in a walking fashion because they never do. It's
not going to change. I mean maybe maybe, but you know,
(04:31):
not always.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
Yeah. I think it's really important to know where you
stand and they're really clear about where you stand and
be clear about what the other person stands. That's really easy.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think people are afraid to discuss things. Yeah, okay,
so I think maybe my generation, like gin gen X,
we didn't talk about things because our parents didn't talk
about that.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Parents were told you were to be seen, not heard.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
I remember a lot.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Growing up of hearing you know, you don't talk about
politics and religion, you know, in certain circumstances, and money
was one of those. I grew up being ashamed to
discuss money. And it's hard to be a business woman
where you're dealing with multimillion dollars worth of money every year,
you know, for your clients, and then you're afraid to
(05:28):
discuss money. And I had to get over that real fast.
I think that people of our generation didn't. We're taught
not to discuss things too, and we're starting to learn.
But then the generations under us, not my older children,
thank you, to meet a lot better. My youngest one
(05:49):
is my older ones are millennials, and my youngest one
is a gen ZZ and they don't really want to
communicate them and you want to talk to you or
look at you are always constantly looking at phones, looking.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
At and you know that to communicate with an emoji
than a full sentence. But there's something interesting also, there's
something interesting where there was kind of a mystique in
dating and relationships, where there was because I'm gen X
also like this, the unspoken gestures and unspoken hints. And
(06:27):
I have to be honest, I'm so glad that we've
moved into an age of consent where you actually lay
it out there. But I think it requires us to
move beyond the emoji communications and actually learn full of
communication because I know that one of the things we
might have talked about in previous calls is our previous
podcasts is ghosting and how can we have full and
(06:53):
complete communications, which could be a nice tie into what
we were talking about today.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yeah, I think a lot of people are avoided and
they don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. They don't want
to see someone cry, they don't want to feel guilty
for not liking them, or they're like others that you
know are on the dating sites and they date multiple
people and then you just kind of let everybody else
fall off and you keep the one that keeps going.
(07:21):
And you know, I'm guilty of that. It's not like
I tried to ghost anybody. It's just the conversations fall off,
feelings don't connect or match, you know. And we're in
a modern age of being on a website, going from
emails to texting to maybe a phone call before you
go out, and if it's just not there, it's just
(07:43):
not there. And I think a lot of people are like, well,
I don't have anything invested in this person, So why
should I have to say, hey, you're not for me
when they're just gonna cry and get upset and say
why you're an asshole? You know, I think people just
don't want to deal with the message finess of it,
and people can get very messy when it comes to
their emotions.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Yeah. So, you know, you remind me of something that
we might do an episode on the future. Where is
when you are engaging with someone on a dating app
or with minimal connection other than photos or snippets of
texts and chat chatting and maybe a few phone conversations,
(08:25):
all that you really have is your projections of them.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
In a way, what when it falls off or you
don't feel spark. What you're really saying is I don't
know enough about you to project onto you what I
really what I'm projecting, you know, because you know, I
don't know who you are, but for some reason I
can't project onto you I want you to.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Be Yes, I do believe that because I think in
the beginning and when people get very excited they feel
some kind of spark or something with someone, they tend
to not know that they are mirroring, projecting, and they
(09:09):
just want it so badly that you know that hitting
my mic, that that other person may not even be
feeling it at all, you're feeling it, so then you're
projecting it onto them. And then you get home and
you know, you think it went great, you call everybody,
(09:29):
oh my god, I met the one, and then you
know you're ghosted.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
And I think what we're really looking for is dry kindling.
So I a spark onto you and you're like.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Night, Yes, I think that's what they want. I mean,
I think a lot of people are just desperate to
find the kindling, you know, that fire, that spark, you know,
I do. I think people are really desperate for love
and connection. I think that we're very disconnected anymore. You know,
we're not even connected as a country or community. Some
(10:03):
communities don't. You know. We live in Los Angeles, we
got community pride. But do you know your fucking neighbor
down the street? No, No, you don't. You know small
town America back in the day, Yes, we did, so
I had. I went home recently and I was talking
(10:23):
to a handful of people that are left in my hometown,
and they all said the entire town is filled with
new people. Nobody knows anybody. Wow, And I was shocked.
There's only one hundred and seventy five people in my hometown.
How the actual thing? Do you not know your neighbor?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Right?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Interesting because I must be an anomaly because I live
in a building where there's eighteen units and I know
my neighbors.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
See, I love that I know my immediate neighbors.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Here.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
My neighbors like me because when I go and cook
as a chef and I come home after an event,
I have a bunch of packaged food. I take it
to all my neighbors.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
I want to live in your building. Right of my
neighbors is in the entertainment industry and they have catering
and Nora.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I love that. Yeah, I know, it's like, Look, I
do it for a reason. It's it's kind of I
if I need something, I need to know that. I
need that I know my neighbors. You know, if someone
in the building needs something, I want them to know
that they can come to me, that I'm a safe place.
You know, I need that. You know, some of the
(11:37):
people in my building I don't like, you know, I
avoid them.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
And let's hope they're not listening.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Uh yeah, oh no, I have numbers saved to my
phone for my neighbors that are like weird neighbor, you know,
soccer neighbor. Oh, I have it.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I have it.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
I have to label them so I know who's calling
and the weird neighbor. I tell all my friends, I said, Hey,
if I go missing, you got to go look at
number X y Z, because well.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
You have already Mickey and Anastasia or in the chat
already saying some things. We love it when you participate.
Just so you know, I love looking over at the chat.
And if we don't get you right away, please don't
take that personally. We will get but we love the inction. Yes,
but some just just don't worry about it and let
things h naturally. Yeah, she's probably referring to that we
(12:35):
were talking about with relationships and Anastesia. It happens.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
You know, what do you think, Steve, is the difference
between say, the love bombing and when you feel a healthy,
real love connection or feeling in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
That's a great question, because you know, I was thinking
about you. We were talking about this as a possible topic,
and I would suspect that we don't know in the beginning. No,
I think there's a lot of chemistry going on. You know,
our entire inner pharmacy has released all these chemicals, and
we feel sensation, we feel emotion, We like the way
(13:19):
they smell, like the way they look.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
You know.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
So I would suspect, and this is probably not true
all the time, but I suspect most of us are
wanting to find a connection. We're looking for what we like.
Some people might be looking for what they don't like,
so they're trying to disconnect or dismiss or find someone
who doesn't fit their pictures. And this could be a
good hint for people. You keep finding people who you
(13:45):
don't like and you don't connect with, maybe you're looking
for ways to cross them off the list rather than
going into the experience. Yes, let's see what I could
like and enjoy and appreciate about this person's That could
be a hot tip. I don't know. I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Well, I have some signs that you might be getting
love bombed, and then I have what real healthy love
feels like. Okay, so I have a couple of different things,
and you know, interject wherever you'd like. So the signs
that I that I jotted down that might be getting
love bombed in your you don't know means it's like, Okay,
you've never felt this way before. You're my soulmate, and
(14:24):
all of that is coming in the first week. It's
the intense declarations that are way too soon and not
I'm not saying a month, month and a half, two months,
three months, whatever, I'm talking about first week. They're like,
you're the woman or man of my dreams and you're
my soul way, and I just have never felt like
(14:47):
this because every single time you feel these feelings, they're different.
So of course you've never felt these feelings before. They're
not they're not They're new.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Yeah, you know. So so let me ask you what
someone is eager. They're just so eager that they come
across as over eager, like they're just so want a connection.
Maybe they're coming out of a long dry spell and
they've been lonely, or for sure a lot of us
experienced that during COVID, where we just kind of oh
my gosh, I can't I can't believe I've been alone.
(15:20):
I haven't seen a touch to human being a long time.
So I'd imagine there was that phase.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Yeah, that's you know, sometimes you feel these really intense
things and they they go they burn hot real fast
and they and they're like a fast burn, you.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Know, like a part It goes out very quickly and
you just have to pay attention. It's like something like
that isn't going to last, you know, six months to
a year. But keep in mind that love bombing isn't
going to last more than a couple of months.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
So well, let me ask you something. Did you did
you come up with a definition for love bombing because
there's a quality of the word or the phrase that
implies there's some manipulation going on.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Yeah, there, I think that it is. I just don't
even know if some people who love bomb even know
that that's what they're doing. I think that they have
this they're kind of innate to manipulate.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Nate down.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I like that one that some people just have this
innate quality or thing about them. They're you know, maybe
they're not a massive narcissist, that they've got narcissism behavior
and they need things to go their way, and to
manipulate somebody, you have to love bomb them. And I
don't think that everybody intentionally. Well, this is the thing.
(16:53):
I don't love bomb. I Yeah, I might say that
I'm really like hot for some unreal quick or or
I you know, I can't wait to see them again
and ship like that, but I'm not going to tell
somebody they're my only thing in my life. I've never
felt this way. I'm you're my soulmate, I love you.
(17:14):
I'm not going to say that ship that fast because
I'm healthy and I'm healing, and people who have unhealed
trauma are going to get sucked into that very easily manipulated.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Very one thing that first of all, the you said
in order to manipulate someone, you have to love about them.
That's not necessarily.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
So you yeah, no, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Manipulate people with disparaging remarks. Yeah, you know, like diss them,
so to speak, and kind of put them down. And
that might be because it might hook people in.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
You know, what I see a lot of, Steve, is
people who love bomb early and then switch to what
you just said. Yeah, so love bombing can't be sustained
because one, it's not natural for them to sustain that
because they don't really feel it. It's a manipulation tool. Okay,
it's just a tool. And then that love bombing starts
(18:12):
switching to you know, snide remarks, put downs, make you
second guess yourself, make you feel like why am I
always not good enough for? That will happen other ways
of showing love bombing is pressure to commit early, either
(18:33):
moving in marriage, exclusivity. Those are so aware of those things,
lavish gifts, attension that feels disproportionate.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Well, let's slow down and take some of these apart
some because first of all, I was gonna add that
some of this comes from the historical way that people
used to court one another. You know, if you look
at the movies and bringing flowers and bringing chard, these
what we would call big overtures, which nowadays might be
(19:05):
you bring flowers on the first States. That's a lot.
I love it, You love it? Yes the state?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
What I would say, I would think that's too much.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I don't know, I love it. You know, I'm a
girl who loves to be wooed. I like the old
courtship stuff. I want a man to bring me.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Well, how do you differentiate that between that and love bombing?
Speaker 3 (19:30):
It's respectful, it's a man showing a woman that he
appreciates her beauty, or her time, or her efforts, and
he is showing her that he can be romantic and thoughtful.
That that goes a long way for me. That shows
me that a man's going to bring me or send
me flowers because he's thinking about me, not because he's
(19:50):
done something fucking wrong and has to send them to me.
The last time I got flowers was from a boyfriend
who sent me flowers because he fucked up.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
And I'm going to suggest here, and this would be
great to get people piping in about this, that if
are you familiar with the love languages? So there's a
book written by I forgot his name, but he's written
this really great book and it's it's very elegant in
its simplicity about five distinct ways of expressing love and
how we receive love too, and one of them is
(20:22):
giving gifts. So I would suspect that you respond really
well to receiving gifts, but I was.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
No go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
I would suggest that some people that might be a
little much on a first date, maybe their love language
was not gift giving. That might be a lot. I
don't know, what do we what do we hear from
our listeners.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I was just saying the other yesterday or day before
to someone I know. We were talking about, you know,
receiving and giving to other people in a relationship in
the love language kind of thing, and I said, personally,
I feel that the person who is able to tap
(21:06):
into all the love language for themselves and be able
to give those that's your more rounded person. That's your
person that's open to receiving in the proper way in
a relationship. And it's a give and take of equal value.
And maybe it could be one day it's a gift
giving the next day, next week it's you know, you're
(21:27):
that emotional support or you are showing up for your partner.
That's that's you know, there's so many different ways to
do love languages, but people get stuck in saying, oh,
I just I'm a quality time person. Well, if you're
just giving me quality time, you're not feeling all my needs.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Well I think that's part of the point of the
book is to actually be able to see which one
is your natural you know, you're naturally gone to expressing
this way or receiving, And I think learning to be
multi multi lingual in the love life is really the goal.
I agree with you that some people say, oh, well,
(22:04):
I'm only this or I'm only that, then they get
stuck in a place where it's actually a way to
understand yourself and understand your partner. And which is why
I said, I think it's elegant and simple and a
great way to kind of reflect on yourself and your partner.
But going back to my point and overture that that
(22:26):
would be a giving of a gift on a first
eight that might be a lot for somebody.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Do you it can be?
Speaker 4 (22:32):
But do you feel like words of affirmation because the
things that you listed that you equate with love bombing
were about verbal overtures or expressions.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
Wait say that.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Read the ones that you read before and those most
of those are equated with verbal expressions of love. So
you read the things that you were saying about love bombing.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Pressure to commit earlyvish gifts or attention that feels dispropripeda
not all of that money, once all your time, and
isolates you from others.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Okay, so now I have all the different love languages almost.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Quick emotional shifts, and it feels like a high. Those
are my six points.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Okay, so what are the what is the underlying quality
that it's I would guess that it's not attuned. It's
not sensitive to how it's going to be received. Like
even in a friendship, if I was overly let's say
I acknowledge you all the time, you would think I
was up to something. It would be suspicious, wouldn't you.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Well, I think if someone is over the top and
too much of one thing, that yeah, can be like,
what the fuck, dude, you're drowning me with compliments? Can
you give me a second? That's why I was saying,
you have to have this balance between being able to
be emotionally supportive to somebody, to give words of after
(24:00):
but be like, hey, I think you're fucking hot today
or I think you're amazing today, and just you know,
leave it at that. You know, words of affirmation when
someone may not expect it is amazing. But it's not
something that you want to like overwhelm somebody with or
they're just going to run. If you want to talk
about ghosting, that's a seaon.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Ever, Well, when we were prepping for this conversation today,
I told you about the word limerence. Yeah, is that
limerence is there was a psychologist who created the term
to describe a kind of love, and limerence is I'm
going to read the definition. Limerence is a state of intense,
(24:44):
obsessive infatuation with another person, often characterized by intrusive thoughts
and a strong desire for reciprocation. It's distinct from love
in that it's typically one sided and based an uncertainty
about the other's limericks can be all consuming, impacting mood
and behavior, and while not officially a mental disorder, it
(25:08):
can be akin to an addiction or obsession. So it's
kind of like being infatuated with someone. It's a quality
of how you express your desire or your interest in someone.
So when we talked about love bombing as a manipulation,
this might be another aspect of why someone might come
(25:31):
on so strong. Is they get swept up in something
they are over, like like it does feel like the
first time, and like you point it out, yeah, it's
the first time, every time, every times, but it might
have this quality to it where it feels like, oh
my god, I've never felt this way before. So maybe
(25:52):
there's an aspect of it that's not deliberately manipulative, like
I'm trying to get something from you, but I am
swept up. And then I'd see there's another piece that
also could be trauma based, where I feel intense connection
with you and I'm afraid I might lose it, So
(26:14):
that might be another as super trauma. I love bombing
or you know limerens that oh my gosh, I'm attracted
to you and I'm afraid it's going to go away
or I have to demonstrate my worthy.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
That's anxious attachment. That's more of a yeah, the way
that someone attaches to people. You know, we've talked about anxious,
you know, other attachments before. This kind of goes along
with that though. I mean, I think that people who
love bomb really are seeing people. Listen, people who are
(26:55):
narcissists or manipulative, they can read people, and you know,
people who are in healthy who are have an anxious
attachment or they can see that from the other person,
and what they're doing is knowing they can use those
love bombs on them. I've had people try who love
(27:18):
bomb me in the past when I was you know,
still in my trauma, and I fell for it easily
because all I wanted to be was loved and wanted
and needed and all these wonderful things that they were
slamming in my face and the next thing, you know,
it's like massive abuse, massive abuse, you know from husbands.
(27:41):
And I kind of throw that in there last second.
But I think that when you start to heal, when
you started dressing the trauma and you are facing your
shadows and working on yourself, love bombing isn't isn't gonna happen.
(28:02):
Because I had somebody from my past recently, not recently recently,
but fairly recently, someone from my past who I had
dated casually and remained really good friends with over the years,
going through some massive like drug and alcohol problems, and
I wasn't aware of it and was messaging me and
(28:24):
calling me and saying, you know, I've been in love
with you all these years and I need, you know,
to be with you, and I can't be a part anymore.
This is crazy and love on me big time. And
I almost kind of failed fell for it because I
knew him so long and we were friends for so long,
and we like casually dated for a couple of years.
(28:47):
So I just thought, WHOA, maybe he really does care
about me, and I would consider looking at this because
he was such a close friend and that could be
a really great relationship if it worked out right. No, no, no,
I found out, of course that he was drinking and
I had a lot of drugs going on, and the
(29:07):
love bombing was really every time he did it, though.
Understand even though I said I almost fell for it,
every time he did it, I literally saw it. I
saw it. I want to and I pointed it out
every time I say, hey, listen, I understand that you're
feeling big feelings right now, but just so you know,
(29:30):
what you're doing to me is actually love bombing me,
and I need you to slow down. And when that
started happening, then he started getting angry. So when you
confront the love bomber or the manipulator, they get real
defensive and angry, angry, real fast. And that imploded on
itself tremendously fast, and I'm really happy it did so that.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
After I have I'm going to flip the script on
you a little bit. Yeah, ask you if you looked
from a different perspective, like nobody's love bombing you. They're
not about to love bomb you. They're not out to
manipulate you. They're just playing out their desire, playing out
their trauma, playing out their history, tending to their wounding,
(30:19):
or avoiding their wounding, living their life. And along comes Christine,
and they want something with you. They want to connect
with you, they want a friendship, they want you as
a lover, they want to you know, they may want
something from you. And here comes Christine, who is not
a victim. You're not a victim. You're doing you. So
(30:42):
if they come at you, they're not doing it to you.
They're just doing their thing. And I suspect that if
they touch upon your wounding, it's going to occur like
you're a victim in that story and you're getting love bombed,
and they're these people out there with love bombs and
they're coming at you, and you get to be at
(31:05):
the effect of their behavior, their manipulation. But what if
nobody's out there doing it to you? But no one
in our lives? You know, you see, I have this
saying eventually our villains have to stop being villains. We
need to take out of this I've created my life.
If you didn't have your history, they'd love bombing and say, oh,
(31:29):
isn't that cute? You wouldn't respond the way that you did. Now,
I think the way you said respond the way that
you said you responded, was an upgrade from the way
a lot of people respond They just yes.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Right now. Understand that if he was a stranger coming
into my life and love bombing me like that so quickly,
I just would have walked away and wouldn't have said
a fucking thing. I just would have walked. But he's
an old friend, like many many, many, many many years friend,
so and I could tell that something was off and
I knew something was wrong, so you know, I did
(32:05):
work it through with them to the point where I'm like, listen,
you need to go get help for the drugs and alcohol,
because I can see, I can feel it, I can
hear it, you know, because we were on the phone
or end video or whatever. But the thing is that,
you know, I said to him, you know, look, you're
you're doing these behaviors. I don't know why. We need
(32:26):
to figure out what is going on with you, and
then found out it was the problem. But I'm going
to point it out to somebody if if if I'm
in a relationship in some form with someone not just
a stranger of a stranger, I don't give two bucks.
They can take the door right there and I won't
have to say a thing now real love. I do
(32:50):
want to talk about how healthy love looks. Okay, it
grows organically with mutual curiosity and shared values. I think
that there's room to breathe. There's no pressure, no rush,
you know, it's it's moments of that that that's not overwhelming.
(33:11):
You can tell they care about you, but they're not
pressuring you. It's rooted in honesty, respect, and emotional safety.
I think that is the hugest one for me anyway.
They don't put you on a pedestal. You're truly seen
with flaws and all, and the relationship brings clarity, not confusion.
(33:35):
So those are my five points about what healthy love
feels like.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
What about you, Steve Well, I'm thinking about that and
I would say that, yes, those are certain ideals that
might be present in a loving relationship. I think love
is a created experience. It's a it's a place to
come from. It's a it's not a noun. It's not
(34:01):
a thing. You can't go buy it in the store.
You know, it doesn't have a packaging to it. It
looks different every time.
Speaker 6 (34:09):
It does look different. Every time, and I think as
a place to come from, it's a declarative state. Like
when you say I love you, I am creating it.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
I am not. It doesn't have to look a particular way.
And sometimes like all of those things that you said,
absolutely those are wonderful, as well as all the things
we learned from the love songs and the movies that
make us feel a particular way.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I just think people want to grasp onto that so
badly because we've shown it all the time. Oh, this
is what love is supposed to look like. Nobody knows
what's supposed to look like. For you, it shows up
in different ways and for everybody.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
I think you really figure out what love is when
it's messy. Yeah, you know, when it's not easy, but
you love one anyways when uh, you know, look at
what we see when someone dies. We suddenly nobody's talking
trash about somebody when somebody dies. Well sometimes, but but
(35:12):
you start to think of the things that you valued
about them, right, and the other stuff just kind of
drops to the wayside. I think that you know it's
love is. It's like a muscle to work, I think. So.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
I think that you have you have to learn to
work through the things. It's like it's like going to
the gym and working out. You you're learning how to
use the machine, you're learning how it works for you.
I just the muscle of love is like every other
muscle on your body. You got to work them out.
So I think something's wrong with our comments section because
(35:48):
they're coming through the studio now and I don't want
to address a few of them.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Okay, let's yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Missy says small things like flowers is a nice gesture
like they did back in the day. That is not
love me. I agree, mister.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
I think that was in response to my question. Maybe. Yeah.
I think it's a wonderful gesture. I love getting in
receiving flowers. I'm not I need to develop the capacity
to give gifts. I think of people when I'm out.
I dated someone once where I knew that their love
language was gifts, and it seems to be big overtures.
(36:23):
Did you do things I tried? I learned, you know,
like I you know, when I was out, if I
saw something, even something little, I would buy. Yeah, that's
the best that it's a gesture of I'm thinking of
you and you know, so that's something that I've always
valued when I see someone giving someone else a gift,
I'm like, oh, I'm so bad at that. So I
(36:44):
know that's like a weak muscle for me. See what
else we had, Mickey say, uh.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
Oh, I think when we were talking about the different
generations and how they deal with communication, because Makey says
it will depend on the generations to be honest, doing
with respect and intent. Yeah, I think that's what that
was with Anastasia says the difference between what is the
(37:12):
difference between love bombing and love at first sight?
Speaker 4 (37:14):
What do you think, Steve, Well, remember when I talked
about first those first moments, it's you know, all of
our chemistry gets in vigor and released.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
It's not love bombing. When you like are initially struck
by somebody, it's your chemistry recognizing that other chemistry that
works for you. It's a it's a it's a it's
a vibrational level, you know, it's it's a lot of
different factors that are going on inside your body. We're
(37:49):
all made of energy. Your energy is working with another
person's energy, and that's not necessarily you know, love bombing. Now,
if someone walks up and immediate is like gushing over you,
and it's like, oh my god, you're the most beautiful
woman I've ever seen, and you've got to go back
with me because I got to marry you, and blah
(38:09):
blah blah. You know, I've met people who are like that.
That can be love bumbing, but love at first sight,
that instant attraction that we call on the site.
Speaker 4 (38:20):
That's I wonder thought, what is it like? Is it
always sight like I know? And where does that come from?
Like when I see someone, is it reminding of me
of my third grade girlfriend or the girl who said
no when I was at that bar in my twenties,
or you know the Is it something I saw and
(38:43):
it's some kind of visual imprint that I'm attracted to.
Is it the way that they move their body? Because
I know I'm very attuned to the way someone moves
their body.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
For me, it's seriously, I can I very strong smell.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
Smell is a big one for me too.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Smell is important if I catch that ooh, And it's
not so much colones or perfumes that I'm smelling, it's
their chemistry. I'm smelling the hormonal chemistry I'm smelling. And
I can read people psychically too, so I feel what
(39:23):
I feel energy is a lot stronger I think than
most people. So for me in my past, before I
started working on healing, I took that as the things
that I could read in people. I just I didn't
understand it. It was really hard for me to decipher
what I was feeling, what they were feeling, what was happening,
(39:45):
what wasn't happening, what I was attracted to. Now that
I'm stronger as a psychic, I work that muscle all
the time, and then I'm also healing myself. I'm working
that muscle all the time time. So the two combos
of that puts me in a place where I really
recognize repulsion repulsion in what's the opposite of that attraction?
(40:11):
And I read people very well. I can, I can,
you know. So it's different for me than I think
the average person, or I think the average person could
also have psychic abilities and just not know what they
are like I did.
Speaker 4 (40:23):
Yeah, I also suspect it's how people respond to you,
Like if I'm interested in someone, but they're not responding
to me like they're you know, they look off to
the side. We're at a dinner party or something, and
I'm I approach them and say hello, and they're they're
giving They're not giving me the time of day. They're
not responding to me, I think, And I think the
(40:46):
same is true when I notice people across the room
and I can see them responding to each other, It's like, Oh,
something's happening over there.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Observation is amazing.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
It's so much easier to see between two other people
than it is to see you over with me, like
a responding to me or they just yeah, yeah, exactly. Well.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Our last thing in here was Annastasia said people may
be on different levels of the relationship at the same time.
One may be ready for more too soon.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I kind of had this conversation with Janie's boyfriend after
last week when we were all hanging out on weekend.
You know, I said to him, you are in one
timeline and I'm in my own timeline, and our timelines
(41:37):
intercepted right now for us to be together. But your
perception of things is different than my perception of things
because of the things that has happened in your life
and the things that are happened in my life make
us perceive what is going on in this time together differently,
and in our separate timelines, we see things completely differently.
(42:01):
And I think that's just how people move through this
whole matrix kind of life we live in. Because we
were talking about the same thing, but in two different ways.
He was talking about it scientifically and I was talking
about it metaphorically, spiritually, you know that way. And he
(42:24):
couldn't see it. And he thought I was wrong because
it wasn't science. And I said it in science. It's
the same science as yours, but it's on a different
spectrum because my science goes on vibration and frequency and
yours goes on what the eye can fucking see. So
(42:44):
it's the same thing but different. We're seeing it, you know,
perspective different. And he didn't understand that. He didn't get it.
He was like frustrated with me, and I was, I
didn't care. I was like I told him, I said,
look at it. Is it a picture? Full picture? You
have the science, it only shows half the picture. Mine
is the other side of the coin, and it only
(43:06):
shows half the picture. But you put it together and
you get a full fucking picture. And I said, and
to me, I see both. I see your side, I
see my side. So I see the full picture. He
only had half, and so therefore he was frustrated, and
I was fine, I get it, you know which, I
don't discount how he feels because not everybody is on
(43:31):
that same wavelength as me. I'm not on the same
timeline as everybody. So a lot of what we go
through in relationships, if people just thought about it, like
you said, it's not against you. It just is circumstances.
That person's life has all this stuff around it. My
life has all this stuff around it, and we're trying
(43:51):
to bring them together and they don't always work. And
that's okay. We're not on the same timelines. We're not
in the same dimensions. We all have our own person
and we're lucky when we do cross path with somebody
that it works. We are very fortunate. I think that's
an amazing thing.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
Well, it's kind of back to the love languages or
different ways of communicating and relating. If someone is never
going to be interested in certain ways of communicating and
relating and you only are wanting this way of communicating
and relating, then you just might not be synchronized or
able to really meet in the middle somewhere.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
Yeah, it happens. It's timing. A lot of people say, oh,
it's just timing, and it's right. I mean, you could
be on one path and someone could be on that
same path with you for a second in time, and
then all of a sudden your past diverge. But who
knows if it could come back together. I mean it does.
There's plenty of people in my life that I've seen
(44:55):
in one instance and then all of a sudden, you know, ten, fifteen,
twenty years down the line, there they are again, and
it works differently this time.
Speaker 4 (45:03):
Than it did there. So I have a question that
in terms of our topic of love bombing and someone
coming at you with so much enthusiasm and love bombing you,
and if you are so strong in who you are,
maybe this is the time to just receive that kind
of love bombing, knowing that they're going to fall out
(45:26):
of love and meet with me within a couple of days,
there a week and likes it. Bask in the glory
of this and joy. I'd imagine that celebrities have that
kind of experience because people adore them, adore them, gushing
at them, and they really don't know that there's there's
(45:46):
a term for that, I can't think of it right now.
But where worship, what's that? Yeah, well you're you have whithing.
No I can't, I'll think of it eventually. But where
someone is so so only projecting onto you adoration and appreciation,
and it's almost like they feel like they have a
(46:07):
relationship with you and you really don't know each other.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
You know.
Speaker 4 (46:10):
It's like when you're a celebrity, people say, oh, I
know you, I feel like I know you. I imagine
celebrities here that all the.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Time, all the time, all the time. Well, I work
with a lot of celebrities, so it you know, speaking
of Ozzy Osborne is a client was a client of mine.
I did at least half almost two dozen events for them,
and that was a very sad moment anyway. But yeah,
(46:39):
they do go through that. I watch it, you know,
I see it. I observe that when I'm doing events
or I'm doing something with, you know, celebrities, and it's
very odd. I mean, I don't do that to other
celebrities because they are another human being and I don't
give a fuck.
Speaker 4 (46:55):
You know, it's you don't love celebrities, is that what
you mean?
Speaker 3 (47:01):
But I see it happen, and it's it can be overwhelming,
and I can I'm sure that I know. I understand
the people on the other side too. They're so excited there,
so you know, they feel like they're connected and they
like to have that connection with it, and then they're
going to go home and tell everybody in their life
that they met, you know, Brad Pitt, and you know, yeah,
(47:23):
everybody knows. Everybody who knows me on a personal level
knows that I walk around every day going, oh yeah,
Brad Pitt, he's my secret husband.
Speaker 4 (47:32):
Well, it looks like our time is up here. I
can't believe.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
You know, time flies, right, So I think next week
we're gonna do the uh. I think I'm hoping it's
next week that we're doing part two of what we
did last week with more than one pulic polyamory. Oh,
I had a surprise for you. I was going to
tell you before we're off. I know this is the
last second, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Rebel,
(47:57):
but we got a review. I just finished listening to
one of your episodes, one of the most entertaining podcasts
I've ever listened to. For real, explain, I responded, and said, wow,
what episode and they said, more than one polyamory. So
they listened to last week. It was the first episode
(48:19):
they listened to, and they said it was the most
entertaining podcast they've ever listened to.
Speaker 4 (48:24):
So well, if you're this week, thanks.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Yes, all right, everyone, thanks for showing up and being here.
We appreciate y'all every week. If you need anything, you
know how to reach out to us, and if you
don't look into the episode information, you'll have it. And
we're going to be here again, same time, same place
next week, and until then, let's just keep this shit real.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
If you enjoyed this episode, please share with your friends,
like and follow us on Instagram at fifty Shades.
Speaker 3 (48:56):
Of Underscore Bullshit and Facebook at fifty Shades of Bullshit.
Speaker 2 (49:02):
Thanks so much for listening, and we really hope to
see you again next week
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