April 10, 2025 • 36 mins
Are you tired of swiping through dating apps and going on unfulfilling dates? Do you dream of finding your perfect match, but don't know where to start? In this episode, host Stacey Chillemi sits down with relationship expert Elizabeth Jane to uncover the secrets to attracting the perfect partner. Elizabeth shares practical and insightful tips for creating a fulfilling and thriving relationship.
From building self-confidence to fostering a positive mindset, they delve deep into the keys to unlocking your ultimate life and finding the love you deserve. We'll share expert tips and strategies to help you find your dream partner FAST! From identifying your non-negotiables to creating an irresistible online profile, we'll cover it all.
Whether you're looking for a casual fling or a long-term relationship, this episode is for you! So, what are you waiting for? Listen until the end to start your journey to finding true love today!
To explore more about Elizabeth Jane's empowering work and to secure your own piece of her artwork, visit her website at elizabethjane.com.au.
Listeners can embark on their journey to unlocking their ultimate life with Elizabeth Jane's inspiring book, "FREE and FIRST - Unlocking Your Ultimate Life," available for purchase on her website.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/free-to-be-me-self-discovery-authentic-living-empowerment--6448259/support.
From building self-confidence to fostering a positive mindset, they delve deep into the keys to unlocking your ultimate life and finding the love you deserve. We'll share expert tips and strategies to help you find your dream partner FAST! From identifying your non-negotiables to creating an irresistible online profile, we'll cover it all.
Whether you're looking for a casual fling or a long-term relationship, this episode is for you! So, what are you waiting for? Listen until the end to start your journey to finding true love today!
To explore more about Elizabeth Jane's empowering work and to secure your own piece of her artwork, visit her website at elizabethjane.com.au.
Listeners can embark on their journey to unlocking their ultimate life with Elizabeth Jane's inspiring book, "FREE and FIRST - Unlocking Your Ultimate Life," available for purchase on her website.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/free-to-be-me-self-discovery-authentic-living-empowerment--6448259/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello, everyone, Welcome to The Advisor. My name is Lisa
Urbanski and I am the co host of the show
Super Excited. We've got Elizabeth Jane back with us today.
She has a podcast on our channel and she talks
everything emotion, how to live your best life. And we've
(00:23):
been having so much fun on the show together. And
today we're going to talk about something that a lot
of people have misconceptions about. Before I introduce the topic,
I want to introduce Elizabeth.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
So.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Elizabeth is so passionate about helping people and loves helping
them feel great for life. She lives in Sydney, Australia
with her four adult children. She graduated with a commerce
degree and later completed a diploma excuse me of education.
Today she is an active mentor and a spokeswoman. She
(00:59):
also spends time in doing yoga, meditation, painting, writing, traveling,
and she really really cherishes her time with her family.
So through her writings and paintings, she hopes to share
tools to help live an authentic life filled with purpose
and excellent health and joy. So she is the author
of Free and First Unlocking Your Ultimate Life, which you
(01:22):
can purchase on Amazon. And I'm going to introduce our
topic now. So we are going to talk about how
to attract the perfect partner, because let's get real, you
don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.
Before we get started, I just want to send a
quick shout out to our sponsors, Speaker and iHeartRadio. Thank
(01:44):
you so much. Without you, we would not be having
this conversation. Welcome back, Elizabeth. It's so nice to see
you look so beautiful today.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Oh, it's great to be here, Lisa.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yes, yes, yes, how are you? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:59):
Great? It's quite early here. It's in Australia. It's yeah,
well it's not it's about eight o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
But what time? What time are you your sort of.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
It's five five pm in Canada, Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So yeah, you're gonna have breakfast and I'm gonna have dinner. Yes, amazing.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
So you're here today and we were talking about what
we wanted to talk about on this episode, and we
came to talking about how to attract a perfect partner,
and you talk about the steps to do that in
your book and the importance of.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
That and how to do that. Do you want to get.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Into this top because this is something that everybody really struggles,
it really really struggles.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Yes, well, I think I think we we have to
be the perfect partner first. I mean, I don't know
if your listeners have heard that, but we really.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
We as as you said.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
We we don't attract what we want, unfortunately it would
be nice, but we attract what we are.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
And so what that really means? What does that mean?
I mean, you know, like it sounds all, but it's
we we are, you know, we're we're vibrational beings.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
And if we vibrate disrespect, if we've got that little
bit of disrespect that we don't not respecting ourselves, well
then we will find that people will come into our
lives disrespecting us. And so it's it's it's really important
two find you your internal landscape and sort of so
(03:43):
how do we do that? I mean that sounds all
very well to say that, but how do we How
do we attract someone who's you balanced and happy and
a peaceful, grounded person who you know, who you know
we want in our lives, a supportive person who will
(04:03):
support us and you know, an interdependent relationship, not a codependent,
needy relationship, a clingy relationship.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Who.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Well, that's important that we clear out all those not
clear out except those parts of ourselves that that good,
that shouldn't be driving the bus of life. So so
say we have what's an easy one to take, sadness,
So say we have sadness.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Now, sadness. We can't just shove sadness away. It's a
part of us.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
And and you know, it's an unpopular emotion. No one
would likes to be sad and to spend time being sad.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
So we often get very busy, don't we. We You know,
we think, oh no, I haven't got time for that.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I don't want to welcome sadness, and you know, I
don't want to welcome thank are And I think I'll
just get busy, or I'll get partying, or I'll distract
myself with a few of my addictions that I've got happening,
whether that's you know, coffee or something stronger.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
So, but when we can stop, when we can.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Hop off the hamster wheel and stop and feel how
we feel, then we realize this sadness And if we
can acknowledge it but not let it, take it to
the back of the bus, our bus of life driving
the bus and in the front of the bus, we
have love and trust and determination and all all. You know,
(05:37):
they're in the front of the bus. But the others
they still get to come with us. And and that's
when we when we can radiate love, we get love back.
If we're radiating disrespect, well you're going to be tested.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
And I know and and I haven't I've.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Been through My journey has been with that with not
my children at one stage disrespecting me.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
You know, your your relationships that.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Are closest to you are mirrors and they really help
you to work out. Oh this is interesting. I've got
disrespect coming towards me. I must have that little bit
of disrespect playing up. So you didn't need to talk
to them like naughty skilled school children and say, look,
you know you're part of me, except that you're part
(06:28):
of me.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
But you can't.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
It's not going to we're not going to align with
that perfect partner if you're driving driving the bus. So
you hop in the backseat, put your safety bet on
and thank you for showing up.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
But you're not going to mess up.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
My life because you're you're the naughty one in the
back and you can come with me.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
So I love that it's the energy you put out
is the energy you pull back in correct, So we
really need to understand that what we're looking for and
if we're looking for love, the first place we have
to look at inside ourselves because we hold the.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Key to that.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And you know, like I struggled a lot with Cody
Penance when I first got into my relationship because of
past toxic relationships and so I was I had an
anxious style attachment style. I was always worried about things,
and I had to really work on myself and my confidence,
(07:31):
dating myself, falling in love with what I do, having
a purpose before I was able to release that. And
then now my relationship is thriving because there's no more
codependency there.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
I mean, I have moments of it.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
But what would you say to the listeners who are
struggling with that with an attachment style that isn't serving that.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Yes, well, the most important thing is when it shows up,
push it down and away because it's welcome it. I
know that might sound silly because we're all told, oh no,
we can't be angry, we can't be sad in public,
you know, and they're not popular emotions that we want
(08:16):
to sort of deal with But when they when they
when they pop up in an unpredictable time, sometimes you
know that when they pop up, welcome them.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
And and that means it.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Will get a chance to move on, because what it is,
we're an energetic being and if we don't welcome them in,
they get stuck and they hold us down, they hold
us back. We're stuck in that you've heard about being
stuck in the past. We're sort of blued down into
a quick sand. We're not like a hot air balloon,
(08:51):
which we should be. We should all be sort of
like letting go of the anger. But we need to
welcome it in it to let it go, if that
makes sense. We need to welcome hello, anger, Thanks for
showing up. You're not driving the bus, but thank you
for showing up.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
You can sit at the back, and you're part of
me and I recognize that.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
But you're not driving the bus of life because we're
not going to align with the partner that is best
for us, so we don't want to jeopardize that. So
find your seat in the back. I'll put your safety
belt on, take your teddies. You can sit next to
loneliness or neediness because neediness and loneliness we want be emphasized,
(09:39):
but we need to we need to acknowledge them. A
in my book, I talk about a we need to acknowledge,
allow and accept all of us, all our feelings, and
then be We can set boundaries and see we can
have that communication about what we need, but we we
(10:01):
can't be free until we know how we feel and
we continue through with standing up for what we need.
We can't look for love outside of ourselves until we've
got it within us, and then we radiate it like
a big.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Beacon.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
And when we're radiating the right formula, we'll attract the
right partner in. But you know, we have to get
our internal landscape happening, and the only way we can
really do that is with determination. You need a lot
of practice, and we know we can't do it all overnight.
(10:43):
I mean that's the reality. Like you know, some people
may be able to, but for me, it took a
lot of you know, baby steps going forward and then
giant steps back.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
And you need to be determined, I think, to get back.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
So advice, how do you you know, with someone who's
continuously attracting the same type of relationship, what would you
tell them to start doing in order to start attracting
what they're looking for.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
How do you break that cycle?
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Yes, very good question, Lisa, because I think you know,
in the early days when we're feeling well.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
For me, you know, when I was, you know, in
the shop of a twenty five year marriage breaking up.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yeah, it must have been so hard and didn't.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
See it coming.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
And then my children were all adults, and I was going, well,
what am I here for? You know, I'd lost myself
totally in roles and so I couldn't you know, someone
passed me a book on boundaries and said, you know,
stand up to what you want and know what's bothering you.
(11:55):
And I couldn't read the book, Lisa, I must tell you,
I just could not.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I was in such traumatized state.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
That's why my book came about free and first unlocking
your ultimate Light, because it doesn't mess around.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
It's got tools and tips to help.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Lift you up out of whatever challenge you're going through,
whether it's relationship, financial, or health. And in the early days,
as you've asked me, is what the most important thing is?
Which I lived by this rule, Play like a child,
follow what brings you joy. Follow what brings you joy.
(12:35):
So when all hell's breaking loose and you think I'm
not getting out of bed today, please see a medical
professional because I am not a medical professional. But in
addition to that, just break your day down and have
your list on the fridge, your near toothbrush about ten
(12:57):
things your go to list to lift your vibe. Because
when your vibrations low, we attract that we emanating a
low vibe. We're going to get a few more challenges
coming our way. So we go, Okay, I'm going to
just just turn the radio right now in the car
and I'm going to do a silly little dance, you know,
(13:19):
I whatever it takes, I'm going to go outside and skip.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
To the coffee shop. I don't care who cares you.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
No, like we are we looking for the love and
approval outside of ourselves. No, we need to love and
approve of ourselves first. That's why my book is free
and first. To be free, we have to put ourselves first.
Our self care follow our joy. Our Self care is
(13:50):
the primary first step to getting over any trauma.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
And that's made all you do. So that's all you do.
You know.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
We don't need to get elaborate with all the rules
that we need to follow. No, it's just simply get outside,
put your runners on, go for a skip, for a
walk or a run in nature, anything to get our vibe,
lifting up and so being in nature, choosing something healthy
(14:22):
to eat, playing music, whatever, your list of.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Ten things for you that brings you joy. It's different
for everyone.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
We're all unique, every person on this but of how
many billion people.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
No other person is the same as you.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
And that's that's the beauty and the amazingness of us,
of each person. And so once we can clear all
all the trauma, but welcome it, we need to welcome
it all in. I mean, I know it sounds, you know,
and sometimes you know, antidepressants have a place because sometimes
it's just in a very dark place and it's not
(15:04):
safe to.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Go there and to welcome that emotion in.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
So again be with a health professional, but as you
can go there and welcome that sadness in or that
anger and say thank you for coming, because you're part
of me.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
But you're not driving the bus. Thank you for coming.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
I'm going to secure you in the back of the
bus of life and we're going to emanate good stuff
like no love and fun, joy, peace, determination, And that's
when our life starts. Once we get our internal landscape happening,
(15:46):
that's when it's reflected in.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Our external life.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
You know, our life, with our relationships, with our business associates,
with our families, with our friends, everything starts to turn
you know the Besha nice.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah, thousand percent.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I mean I know, for me, when I started living
my life for myself and I had a routine, I
have a routine and you know, I'm not dependent on
anyone but myself or my happiness. But my relationship is
gravy like it makes life better. But until I was
able to prioritize my health, do some fitness, eat the
(16:28):
right things, do writing, do things that lit me up,
my relationship was struggling. So it's really so important if
you're trying to attract the perfect partner to emanate the
things that you want in someone, be the you know,
be the model that you want to attract into your life.
Because essentially what you're saying is what we're putting out
(16:52):
there is what we get back. So if we're uncomfortable, anxious,
that depressed, that's what we're going to tract back in
our life from a partner if we don't work on
those things correct.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Yes, yes, and just to fine tune that. Lisa. Also,
you know there's ways, do you know what?
Speaker 4 (17:14):
In other ways to lift us is gratitude, being grateful,
not going over and over the drama of the past,
because that takes our vibe down, you know, shaming and blaming,
judging self others. It doesn't do anything for anyone, including you.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
So so.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Concentrating not on what we're lacking or what we have,
brings more abundance of good things into our lives. So
the universe gets a bit confused. If we sort of
talk about what we're lacking, we tend to get we
can get more lack So it's really.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Important, you know.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Some some teachers recommend us visualizing, which I do. Do
you know, Like when we're in a really calm space,
we visualize that that perfect partner is in our life
right now, because in soul land, there's no such thing
as past, present, and future. So you just you get
into that sort of joy and that excitement that your
(18:24):
partner is there and he's bringing you a cup of
tea in bed and whatever, you're dancing.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
On the beach.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Whatever fills you know, fills you with joy, you go
into that sort of fantasy we should say, you know,
like it is a fantasy if you're sort of you know,
being logical and you know, grounded.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
But it does bring in more.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
The more we go into joy, it brings more joy,
the more we go into gratitude, It brings things into
our life to be thankful for. So that's another tool
that we can use. You know, don't stick, don't wake
up and go oh no, not another day. Oh gosh,
you know, what's my what's my boss going to be
up to today? Or what tricks is my partner got
(19:15):
up their sleeve?
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Or what are my children? I think think all the
good stuff bring more stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
What would you say to the people that are listening
to this who are feeling like they're running out of time,
you know what I mean, Like they maybe got out
of a relationship, they're looking for their perfect partner, but
they still haven't found them. What is your take on
like the timing. Do you feel like the universe is
preparing us for our partner in divine timing or how
(19:46):
do you feel about that?
Speaker 4 (19:49):
It's a good question, Lisa. I think the thing is,
you know, like some teachers will say in Solan. There's
no such thing as time, and that doesn't really help
us logical ones that are going well, You say me,
it's you know, like my I can't have children when
I'm forty five or fifty, you know, like I want
to I want my relationship now and I want to
(20:10):
have children. And you know, you have it all sort
of time slotted and you've got your timeline and you
want it all to sort of click into place in
perfect order. I think the thing is hold the vision.
Oh isn't it wonderful? I have my partner, My children
are around me. When you see other people with partners,
(20:31):
when you see other people with children, send them love
because when you're seeing that, it's actually.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Bringing it into your your energy.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
It's getting closer for you. And trust, Trust that the
universe has got your back. Trust that the universe has
got your back. It is really really important. We don't
know the whole big skins of the universe, the tapestry
of health, Why, why, and what things happen.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
That's not up to us.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
To worry about, Thank goodness, all we have to do
is trust that we are worthy.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
We are all worthy.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Our birthright is happiness and joy and love. That's what
we truly are. But we sometimes get glad rapped with
a few little nonsenses called you know, anger and fear
and anxieties and sadness and loneliness and neediness and victim mentality.
But that's not really us, you know, it's not us.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
It's a very small fragment of us.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
But we do need to bring in and as I said,
bring with us on the journey of through life. But
we don't want it acting up. We don't want these
school children. It's the anger acting up and causing us
to come out of alignment with what you know, the
yellow brick road of life. Know the good, the good things,
(22:02):
you know, the happy families, the fulfilled work environment, children,
whatever it is on your joy list that brings you joy.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Which is different for everybody.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Isn't it so different for everybody?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
So okay, So we got to trust the timing even
though there is no time, as you said, and I
like that because it's it's divine time. It's happening for us.
It's already in the atmosphere.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
We're in control of that.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And you know, to really prioritize ourselves and stop wondering
where it is, and just trust that it's going to
happen when it's supposed to happen. I think is important too.
Can we talk about red flags and fix our uppers?
I don't know, It's just something that I want to
ask because I know when I was younger, I was
attracted to these people that they would throw a million
(22:56):
red flags and I was like, oh, right on, I
want to date them so I can help them and
exam and then they'll see the big picture. We're in
not this happy life, but it was a disaster.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh my god. Can you speak on that a little bit? Yes?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well, I think often, you know, with my my my.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
Teacher used to say this, you know, the people pleases
and the rescuers and you why why do.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
We want to rescue? Why? Why do we want to people?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Now let's look back, just like, okay, why do we
want to do it? It's because secretly, deep down inside of us,
we think we're not worthy. But we'll be loved and
accepted if we can over overdo things for other people,
over accommod age, rescue people.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Please, they'll love us, won't they. They'll never leave My
husband will never leave me.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
If I if I'm always there holding his coattails and
living anywhere in the world that he wants to live in,
and what.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
He wants for dinner. Surely, I mean, he'll love me indefinitely.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
And the same with your children, your boss, whoever you're
secretly rescuing.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
So that behavior is dis empowering, but not only you.
I talk about this in my book. There's a whole
chapter on this.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
It's disempowering for you, it's disempowering, disempowering for the people
you are projecting that behavior at. Because if we don't
stand up, if we if we tolerate and enable bad behavior,
or or give out and control others through our people
(24:48):
pleasing control others, that's that's not our job. No, our
their actions are their own. We can't change that. We
can't change their actions. The only thing we can change
is our reaction, how we respond to their actions. So
(25:09):
someone a child, or your partner or your boss comes
to you and they're just like, well, they've just lost it.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
They're angry. It's an easy example. They're really angry.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
So what can we do. Yes, we can be really
angry back. We can we can create this big bomb,
negative energy. It's going to be no good to anyone
going to do have havoc with your health. Potentially it's
going to cause habit to you, your boss, your children,
(25:44):
whoever that entanglements with.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
So or we could we could go Okay, we can't
be angry.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
We can't be angry, and then what happens That anger
gets stuck in our energy body and causes havoc as well,
causes havoc to our health.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Okay, so we can't have the anger bomb, we can't
hold it within. We need to do the ABC of me.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
We need to acknowledge how we feel, knowledge, allow and
accept how we feel.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
WHOA right, I've got this anger coming at me. Maybe
it's fear you feel? What do you feel?
Speaker 4 (26:26):
So then you have that empowered conversation, set that boundary. Okay,
you've just protected a lot of anger at me. Maybe
you don't know why. I don't know why. I feel scared,
I feel sad, whatever emotion you feel because that person
(26:50):
can't go. You don't feel that you're not You're not
fueling the big bomb of black energy. You're saying how
you feel. You'll breaking down that breaking the walls down
to have an empowered conversation to build intimacy to build strength,
(27:14):
empower not only yourself but the other party. So with that,
when we realize that we're people pleasing, when we realize
we're rescuing, it's because we secretly think, oh, well, you know,
I know I'm not good enough, but so if I try,
if I overdo things over.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Here, surely they'll love me more.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
We're looking outsourcing for love. We need to find love
and respect within us by having a to do list
of things that bring us joy, find and discover who,
what brings us joy and what doesn't bring us joy?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
To lists maybe yes list and the no list, the
no list.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
We stand up when we go I'm not going to
tolerate that behavior. And the yes list, yes, I'm going
to do that because that makes my heart seeing whatever
is on your yes list is your tick list, and
whatever is on your no list.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
You need to stand up and go not anymore.
Speaker 4 (28:25):
No, I'm the leader of my life and I'm going
to this is my no list. Don't really need to
explain your boundaries, they're.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yours, absolutely, And we really have to learn how to
make space, like quite literally and energetically.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
For love to come into our lives.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
So how do you suggest that our lessens clear their physical, mental,
and emotional space for love to enter their life.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
Yes, well I think you know, like I think, the
first thing is we you know, you often hear when
people have gone through a transition, which is including me.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
You know, I lived out of a I lived out
of a suitcase.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
For a while when I was transitioning from my marriage
and and the first thing is to clear out all
the stuff you don't need in your life, whether that's
physical stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
No, you feel so much lighter.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
I felt so much lighter just taking you know, a
suitcase down to the brotherhoods, you know, to the suitcase
of clothes, and giving things to my children that didn't
bring me joy anymore, and clearing the clutter, clearing the
clutter in your physical life.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
But then going through what friends are on my no list?
You know, where are my toxic relationships? Where are those
relationshiships sneaking into my life that are not representative, not
supportive of who I am. Now we're all on a journey.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
You may have been like that yesterday, you may have
been like that a year ago. But now, if you
want to if you're the if you want to be
the joyful, loving, energized person that you are, and you
want to project that.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
You can't have people that are toxic in your life.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
So you so they may be family, what do we say.
We can't sort of divorce our children, can we? I mean,
it'd be nice sometimes, but we can't divorce our children.
So that's when we we we have to have that
empowered conversation with them to build intimacy the ABC. Oh hello,
(30:50):
child number one. That's that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
You're projecting a lot of anger at me.
Speaker 4 (30:58):
Can I you know and have compassion for that. You
know that person is projecting they're going through a tough time.
Can I help you? What can I do to help you?
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Try and be in their shoes.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
If it's not your anger, it's their anger, and we
take it on. If it's something that we haven't healed
within us, if it doesn't bother us, well then it's
not with It will just pass way through us and
we'll go and find someone else on the road to
have the road range. So you know, we're all cars
(31:35):
on the on the highway and someone gets angry on
the road. They're trying to find a like vibration, so
they'll find but it will go straight past Lisa, because
she's sort of like high vibrant. There's no match, there's
no match in the energy, whereas this they find the
angry car will find a like match an angry person
(31:56):
and then came warm.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
So the main thing is not to take on the.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
Energy to have that empowered conversation when you're feeling sad,
when you're feeling fearful, when you're feeling angry, and then
it can actually it can actually dissolve the energy.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
It can actually move through you and it will find
its match with someone else.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
I love how you put that in your right, energy
attracts energy, so angert anger. So that was very visual
for us to picture those two cars crashing together and
it makes a lot of stense. So why don't you,
Elizabeth talk to us a little bit about your book
and what you provide where to find you, and then
we're going to wrap up for the day.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
We're on a set of time.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
Yes, that went quickly, Lisa, probably too much talking to
So my book rein First Unlocking Your Ultimate Life is
best to jump my website Elizabeth Jane dot com dot
a U. And it is really it's a book to
uplift you know, whatever stage you're in, it was during
(33:11):
your life, whether you're going through a challenge with a
financial challenge, a health challenge, a relationship challenge, and it's
it's really succinctly wishen. You know, there's little summary boxes
and there's a lot of extended reading. Should you want
to explore certain areas of to uplift you into a
(33:34):
more fulfilling to open your full potential?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Beautiful?
Speaker 1 (33:41):
And before we go, what would you say to our audience, like,
what is one tipe you would give them on finding
their attract attracting their perfect partner and a few action
stuffs that they can take today towards that goal.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Yes, well, I think what what I talked to out
initially and we opened with today is is we will
never attract what we want into our life. We will
attract what we are. So one thing to take away
(34:19):
is to take ladders.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
In life that lift your vibe.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
And be more aware of the slippery snakes that take
our vibe down.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
And when we can start lifting up, we will we.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
Will get high more higher vibe opportunities and people will
start stepping into our life and the lower vibe challenges
and people will start to move away.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
As we step up, they will step on or move on.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yah. Thank you, Elizabeth. It's possible. You know.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
We just got to keep working on ourselves and we
will find the perfect partner. So thank you so much
for coming back and sharing your knowledge with us and
your book Free and First Unlocking your Ultimate Life. You know,
sounds like an amazing, amazing book. I have yet to
read it. It's on my list along with a few others,
(35:26):
so I'm excited about it. It sounds like, you know,
there's a lot of insight in there that would be
really valuable.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Thank you so much, Lisa, It's great to be here
with you and your audience.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Amazing you guys. That was Elizabeth Jane. She will be
joining us again soon, so stay tuned and until next time,
I'm Lisa Ybanski with the Advisor. Elizabeth, what are you
gonna have for breakfast or did you eat already?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I'm more.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
I love my sable very, I love an asilu all
with lots of fresh fruit and granola.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
And and yes.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Sometimes I sleep in a coffee bit or a chat
depends on what mood.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
I mean beautiful, and I'm going to go have dinner,
so we'll let the audience go for today.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I think I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Go make some vegetables and then we've got to go
grocery shopping, so fun stuff, fun stuff. You have a
good day, and for our audience, thank you so much
for tuning in until next time.
Hello, everyone, Welcome to The Advisor. My name is Lisa
Urbanski and I am the co host of the show
Super Excited. We've got Elizabeth Jane back with us today.
She has a podcast on our channel and she talks
everything emotion, how to live your best life. And we've
(00:23):
been having so much fun on the show together. And
today we're going to talk about something that a lot
of people have misconceptions about. Before I introduce the topic,
I want to introduce Elizabeth.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
So.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Elizabeth is so passionate about helping people and loves helping
them feel great for life. She lives in Sydney, Australia
with her four adult children. She graduated with a commerce
degree and later completed a diploma excuse me of education.
Today she is an active mentor and a spokeswoman. She
(00:59):
also spends time in doing yoga, meditation, painting, writing, traveling,
and she really really cherishes her time with her family.
So through her writings and paintings, she hopes to share
tools to help live an authentic life filled with purpose
and excellent health and joy. So she is the author
of Free and First Unlocking Your Ultimate Life, which you
(01:22):
can purchase on Amazon. And I'm going to introduce our
topic now. So we are going to talk about how
to attract the perfect partner, because let's get real, you
don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.
Before we get started, I just want to send a
quick shout out to our sponsors, Speaker and iHeartRadio. Thank
(01:44):
you so much. Without you, we would not be having
this conversation. Welcome back, Elizabeth. It's so nice to see
you look so beautiful today.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Oh, it's great to be here, Lisa.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yes, yes, yes, how are you? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:59):
Great? It's quite early here. It's in Australia. It's yeah,
well it's not it's about eight o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
But what time? What time are you your sort of.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
It's five five pm in Canada, Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So yeah, you're gonna have breakfast and I'm gonna have dinner. Yes, amazing.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
So you're here today and we were talking about what
we wanted to talk about on this episode, and we
came to talking about how to attract a perfect partner,
and you talk about the steps to do that in
your book and the importance of.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
That and how to do that. Do you want to get.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Into this top because this is something that everybody really struggles,
it really really struggles.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Yes, well, I think I think we we have to
be the perfect partner first. I mean, I don't know
if your listeners have heard that, but we really.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
We as as you said.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
We we don't attract what we want, unfortunately it would
be nice, but we attract what we are.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
And so what that really means? What does that mean?
I mean, you know, like it sounds all, but it's
we we are, you know, we're we're vibrational beings.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
And if we vibrate disrespect, if we've got that little
bit of disrespect that we don't not respecting ourselves, well
then we will find that people will come into our
lives disrespecting us. And so it's it's it's really important
two find you your internal landscape and sort of so
(03:43):
how do we do that? I mean that sounds all
very well to say that, but how do we How
do we attract someone who's you balanced and happy and
a peaceful, grounded person who you know, who you know
we want in our lives, a supportive person who will
(04:03):
support us and you know, an interdependent relationship, not a codependent,
needy relationship, a clingy relationship.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Who.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Well, that's important that we clear out all those not
clear out except those parts of ourselves that that good,
that shouldn't be driving the bus of life. So so
say we have what's an easy one to take, sadness,
So say we have sadness.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Now, sadness. We can't just shove sadness away. It's a
part of us.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
And and you know, it's an unpopular emotion. No one
would likes to be sad and to spend time being sad.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
So we often get very busy, don't we. We You know,
we think, oh no, I haven't got time for that.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
I don't want to welcome sadness, and you know, I
don't want to welcome thank are And I think I'll
just get busy, or I'll get partying, or I'll distract
myself with a few of my addictions that I've got happening,
whether that's you know, coffee or something stronger.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
So, but when we can stop, when we can.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Hop off the hamster wheel and stop and feel how
we feel, then we realize this sadness And if we
can acknowledge it but not let it, take it to
the back of the bus, our bus of life driving
the bus and in the front of the bus, we
have love and trust and determination and all all. You know,
(05:37):
they're in the front of the bus. But the others
they still get to come with us. And and that's
when we when we can radiate love, we get love back.
If we're radiating disrespect, well you're going to be tested.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
And I know and and I haven't I've.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Been through My journey has been with that with not
my children at one stage disrespecting me.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
You know, your your relationships that.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Are closest to you are mirrors and they really help
you to work out. Oh this is interesting. I've got
disrespect coming towards me. I must have that little bit
of disrespect playing up. So you didn't need to talk
to them like naughty skilled school children and say, look,
you know you're part of me, except that you're part
(06:28):
of me.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
But you can't.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
It's not going to we're not going to align with
that perfect partner if you're driving driving the bus. So
you hop in the backseat, put your safety bet on
and thank you for showing up.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
But you're not going to mess up.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
My life because you're you're the naughty one in the
back and you can come with me.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
So I love that it's the energy you put out
is the energy you pull back in correct, So we
really need to understand that what we're looking for and
if we're looking for love, the first place we have
to look at inside ourselves because we hold the.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Key to that.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And you know, like I struggled a lot with Cody
Penance when I first got into my relationship because of
past toxic relationships and so I was I had an
anxious style attachment style. I was always worried about things,
and I had to really work on myself and my confidence,
(07:31):
dating myself, falling in love with what I do, having
a purpose before I was able to release that. And
then now my relationship is thriving because there's no more
codependency there.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
I mean, I have moments of it.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
But what would you say to the listeners who are
struggling with that with an attachment style that isn't serving that.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Yes, well, the most important thing is when it shows up,
push it down and away because it's welcome it. I
know that might sound silly because we're all told, oh no,
we can't be angry, we can't be sad in public,
you know, and they're not popular emotions that we want
(08:16):
to sort of deal with But when they when they
when they pop up in an unpredictable time, sometimes you
know that when they pop up, welcome them.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
And and that means it.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Will get a chance to move on, because what it is,
we're an energetic being and if we don't welcome them in,
they get stuck and they hold us down, they hold
us back. We're stuck in that you've heard about being
stuck in the past. We're sort of blued down into
a quick sand. We're not like a hot air balloon,
(08:51):
which we should be. We should all be sort of
like letting go of the anger. But we need to
welcome it in it to let it go, if that
makes sense. We need to welcome hello, anger, Thanks for
showing up. You're not driving the bus, but thank you
for showing up.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
You can sit at the back, and you're part of
me and I recognize that.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
But you're not driving the bus of life because we're
not going to align with the partner that is best
for us, so we don't want to jeopardize that. So
find your seat in the back. I'll put your safety
belt on, take your teddies. You can sit next to
loneliness or neediness because neediness and loneliness we want be emphasized,
(09:39):
but we need to we need to acknowledge them. A
in my book, I talk about a we need to acknowledge,
allow and accept all of us, all our feelings, and
then be We can set boundaries and see we can
have that communication about what we need, but we we
(10:01):
can't be free until we know how we feel and
we continue through with standing up for what we need.
We can't look for love outside of ourselves until we've
got it within us, and then we radiate it like
a big.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Beacon.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
And when we're radiating the right formula, we'll attract the
right partner in. But you know, we have to get
our internal landscape happening, and the only way we can
really do that is with determination. You need a lot
of practice, and we know we can't do it all overnight.
(10:43):
I mean that's the reality. Like you know, some people
may be able to, but for me, it took a
lot of you know, baby steps going forward and then
giant steps back.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
And you need to be determined, I think, to get back.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
So advice, how do you you know, with someone who's
continuously attracting the same type of relationship, what would you
tell them to start doing in order to start attracting
what they're looking for.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
How do you break that cycle?
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Yes, very good question, Lisa, because I think you know,
in the early days when we're feeling well.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
For me, you know, when I was, you know, in
the shop of a twenty five year marriage breaking up.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yeah, it must have been so hard and didn't.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
See it coming.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
And then my children were all adults, and I was going, well,
what am I here for? You know, I'd lost myself
totally in roles and so I couldn't you know, someone
passed me a book on boundaries and said, you know,
stand up to what you want and know what's bothering you.
(11:55):
And I couldn't read the book, Lisa, I must tell you,
I just could not.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I was in such traumatized state.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
That's why my book came about free and first unlocking
your ultimate Light, because it doesn't mess around.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
It's got tools and tips to help.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Lift you up out of whatever challenge you're going through,
whether it's relationship, financial, or health. And in the early days,
as you've asked me, is what the most important thing is?
Which I lived by this rule, Play like a child,
follow what brings you joy. Follow what brings you joy.
(12:35):
So when all hell's breaking loose and you think I'm
not getting out of bed today, please see a medical
professional because I am not a medical professional. But in
addition to that, just break your day down and have
your list on the fridge, your near toothbrush about ten
(12:57):
things your go to list to lift your vibe. Because
when your vibrations low, we attract that we emanating a
low vibe. We're going to get a few more challenges
coming our way. So we go, Okay, I'm going to
just just turn the radio right now in the car
and I'm going to do a silly little dance, you know,
(13:19):
I whatever it takes, I'm going to go outside and skip.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
To the coffee shop. I don't care who cares you.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
No, like we are we looking for the love and
approval outside of ourselves. No, we need to love and
approve of ourselves first. That's why my book is free
and first. To be free, we have to put ourselves first.
Our self care follow our joy. Our Self care is
(13:50):
the primary first step to getting over any trauma.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
And that's made all you do. So that's all you do.
You know.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
We don't need to get elaborate with all the rules
that we need to follow. No, it's just simply get outside,
put your runners on, go for a skip, for a
walk or a run in nature, anything to get our vibe,
lifting up and so being in nature, choosing something healthy
(14:22):
to eat, playing music, whatever, your list of.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Ten things for you that brings you joy. It's different
for everyone.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
We're all unique, every person on this but of how
many billion people.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
No other person is the same as you.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
And that's that's the beauty and the amazingness of us,
of each person. And so once we can clear all
all the trauma, but welcome it, we need to welcome
it all in. I mean, I know it sounds, you know,
and sometimes you know, antidepressants have a place because sometimes
it's just in a very dark place and it's not
(15:04):
safe to.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Go there and to welcome that emotion in.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
So again be with a health professional, but as you
can go there and welcome that sadness in or that
anger and say thank you for coming, because you're part
of me.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
But you're not driving the bus. Thank you for coming.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
I'm going to secure you in the back of the
bus of life and we're going to emanate good stuff
like no love and fun, joy, peace, determination, And that's
when our life starts. Once we get our internal landscape happening,
(15:46):
that's when it's reflected in.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Our external life.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
You know, our life, with our relationships, with our business associates,
with our families, with our friends, everything starts to turn
you know the Besha nice.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah, thousand percent.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I mean I know, for me, when I started living
my life for myself and I had a routine, I
have a routine and you know, I'm not dependent on
anyone but myself or my happiness. But my relationship is
gravy like it makes life better. But until I was
able to prioritize my health, do some fitness, eat the
(16:28):
right things, do writing, do things that lit me up,
my relationship was struggling. So it's really so important if
you're trying to attract the perfect partner to emanate the
things that you want in someone, be the you know,
be the model that you want to attract into your life.
Because essentially what you're saying is what we're putting out
(16:52):
there is what we get back. So if we're uncomfortable, anxious,
that depressed, that's what we're going to tract back in
our life from a partner if we don't work on
those things correct.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Yes, yes, and just to fine tune that. Lisa. Also,
you know there's ways, do you know what?
Speaker 4 (17:14):
In other ways to lift us is gratitude, being grateful,
not going over and over the drama of the past,
because that takes our vibe down, you know, shaming and blaming,
judging self others. It doesn't do anything for anyone, including you.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
So so.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Concentrating not on what we're lacking or what we have,
brings more abundance of good things into our lives. So
the universe gets a bit confused. If we sort of
talk about what we're lacking, we tend to get we
can get more lack So it's really.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Important, you know.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Some some teachers recommend us visualizing, which I do. Do
you know, Like when we're in a really calm space,
we visualize that that perfect partner is in our life
right now, because in soul land, there's no such thing
as past, present, and future. So you just you get
into that sort of joy and that excitement that your
(18:24):
partner is there and he's bringing you a cup of
tea in bed and whatever, you're dancing.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
On the beach.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Whatever fills you know, fills you with joy, you go
into that sort of fantasy we should say, you know,
like it is a fantasy if you're sort of you know,
being logical and you know, grounded.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
But it does bring in more.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
The more we go into joy, it brings more joy,
the more we go into gratitude, It brings things into
our life to be thankful for. So that's another tool
that we can use. You know, don't stick, don't wake
up and go oh no, not another day. Oh gosh,
you know, what's my what's my boss going to be
up to today? Or what tricks is my partner got
(19:15):
up their sleeve?
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Or what are my children? I think think all the
good stuff bring more stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
What would you say to the people that are listening
to this who are feeling like they're running out of time,
you know what I mean, Like they maybe got out
of a relationship, they're looking for their perfect partner, but
they still haven't found them. What is your take on
like the timing. Do you feel like the universe is
preparing us for our partner in divine timing or how
(19:46):
do you feel about that?
Speaker 4 (19:49):
It's a good question, Lisa. I think the thing is,
you know, like some teachers will say in Solan. There's
no such thing as time, and that doesn't really help
us logical ones that are going well, You say me,
it's you know, like my I can't have children when
I'm forty five or fifty, you know, like I want
to I want my relationship now and I want to
(20:10):
have children. And you know, you have it all sort
of time slotted and you've got your timeline and you
want it all to sort of click into place in
perfect order. I think the thing is hold the vision.
Oh isn't it wonderful? I have my partner, My children
are around me. When you see other people with partners,
(20:31):
when you see other people with children, send them love
because when you're seeing that, it's actually.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Bringing it into your your energy.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
It's getting closer for you. And trust, Trust that the
universe has got your back. Trust that the universe has
got your back. It is really really important. We don't
know the whole big skins of the universe, the tapestry
of health, Why, why, and what things happen.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
That's not up to us.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
To worry about, Thank goodness, all we have to do
is trust that we are worthy.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
We are all worthy.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
Our birthright is happiness and joy and love. That's what
we truly are. But we sometimes get glad rapped with
a few little nonsenses called you know, anger and fear
and anxieties and sadness and loneliness and neediness and victim mentality.
But that's not really us, you know, it's not us.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
It's a very small fragment of us.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
But we do need to bring in and as I said,
bring with us on the journey of through life. But
we don't want it acting up. We don't want these
school children. It's the anger acting up and causing us
to come out of alignment with what you know, the
yellow brick road of life. Know the good, the good things,
(22:02):
you know, the happy families, the fulfilled work environment, children,
whatever it is on your joy list that brings you joy.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Which is different for everybody.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Isn't it so different for everybody?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
So okay, So we got to trust the timing even
though there is no time, as you said, and I
like that because it's it's divine time. It's happening for us.
It's already in the atmosphere.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
We're in control of that.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And you know, to really prioritize ourselves and stop wondering
where it is, and just trust that it's going to
happen when it's supposed to happen. I think is important too.
Can we talk about red flags and fix our uppers?
I don't know, It's just something that I want to
ask because I know when I was younger, I was
attracted to these people that they would throw a million
(22:56):
red flags and I was like, oh, right on, I
want to date them so I can help them and
exam and then they'll see the big picture. We're in
not this happy life, but it was a disaster.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh my god. Can you speak on that a little bit? Yes?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well, I think often, you know, with my my my.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
Teacher used to say this, you know, the people pleases
and the rescuers and you why why do.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
We want to rescue? Why? Why do we want to people?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Now let's look back, just like, okay, why do we
want to do it? It's because secretly, deep down inside of us,
we think we're not worthy. But we'll be loved and
accepted if we can over overdo things for other people,
over accommod age, rescue people.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Please, they'll love us, won't they. They'll never leave My
husband will never leave me.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
If I if I'm always there holding his coattails and
living anywhere in the world that he wants to live in,
and what.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
He wants for dinner. Surely, I mean, he'll love me indefinitely.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
And the same with your children, your boss, whoever you're
secretly rescuing.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
So that behavior is dis empowering, but not only you.
I talk about this in my book. There's a whole
chapter on this.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
It's disempowering for you, it's disempowering, disempowering for the people
you are projecting that behavior at. Because if we don't
stand up, if we if we tolerate and enable bad behavior,
or or give out and control others through our people
(24:48):
pleasing control others, that's that's not our job. No, our
their actions are their own. We can't change that. We
can't change their actions. The only thing we can change
is our reaction, how we respond to their actions. So
(25:09):
someone a child, or your partner or your boss comes
to you and they're just like, well, they've just lost it.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
They're angry. It's an easy example. They're really angry.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
So what can we do. Yes, we can be really
angry back. We can we can create this big bomb,
negative energy. It's going to be no good to anyone
going to do have havoc with your health. Potentially it's
going to cause habit to you, your boss, your children,
(25:44):
whoever that entanglements with.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
So or we could we could go Okay, we can't
be angry.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
We can't be angry, and then what happens That anger
gets stuck in our energy body and causes havoc as well,
causes havoc to our health.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Okay, so we can't have the anger bomb, we can't
hold it within. We need to do the ABC of me.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
We need to acknowledge how we feel, knowledge, allow and
accept how we feel.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
WHOA right, I've got this anger coming at me. Maybe
it's fear you feel? What do you feel?
Speaker 4 (26:26):
So then you have that empowered conversation, set that boundary. Okay,
you've just protected a lot of anger at me. Maybe
you don't know why. I don't know why. I feel scared,
I feel sad, whatever emotion you feel because that person
(26:50):
can't go. You don't feel that you're not You're not
fueling the big bomb of black energy. You're saying how
you feel. You'll breaking down that breaking the walls down
to have an empowered conversation to build intimacy to build strength,
(27:14):
empower not only yourself but the other party. So with that,
when we realize that we're people pleasing, when we realize
we're rescuing, it's because we secretly think, oh, well, you know,
I know I'm not good enough, but so if I try,
if I overdo things over.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Here, surely they'll love me more.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
We're looking outsourcing for love. We need to find love
and respect within us by having a to do list
of things that bring us joy, find and discover who,
what brings us joy and what doesn't bring us joy?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
To lists maybe yes list and the no list, the
no list.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
We stand up when we go I'm not going to
tolerate that behavior. And the yes list, yes, I'm going
to do that because that makes my heart seeing whatever
is on your yes list is your tick list, and
whatever is on your no list.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
You need to stand up and go not anymore.
Speaker 4 (28:25):
No, I'm the leader of my life and I'm going
to this is my no list. Don't really need to
explain your boundaries, they're.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yours, absolutely, And we really have to learn how to
make space, like quite literally and energetically.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
For love to come into our lives.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
So how do you suggest that our lessens clear their physical, mental,
and emotional space for love to enter their life.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
Yes, well I think you know, like I think, the
first thing is we you know, you often hear when
people have gone through a transition, which is including me.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
You know, I lived out of a I lived out
of a suitcase.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
For a while when I was transitioning from my marriage
and and the first thing is to clear out all
the stuff you don't need in your life, whether that's
physical stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
No, you feel so much lighter.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
I felt so much lighter just taking you know, a
suitcase down to the brotherhoods, you know, to the suitcase
of clothes, and giving things to my children that didn't
bring me joy anymore, and clearing the clutter, clearing the
clutter in your physical life.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
But then going through what friends are on my no list?
You know, where are my toxic relationships? Where are those
relationshiships sneaking into my life that are not representative, not
supportive of who I am. Now we're all on a journey.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
You may have been like that yesterday, you may have
been like that a year ago. But now, if you
want to if you're the if you want to be
the joyful, loving, energized person that you are, and you
want to project that.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
You can't have people that are toxic in your life.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
So you so they may be family, what do we say.
We can't sort of divorce our children, can we? I mean,
it'd be nice sometimes, but we can't divorce our children.
So that's when we we we have to have that
empowered conversation with them to build intimacy the ABC. Oh hello,
(30:50):
child number one. That's that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
You're projecting a lot of anger at me.
Speaker 4 (30:58):
Can I you know and have compassion for that. You
know that person is projecting they're going through a tough time.
Can I help you? What can I do to help you?
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Try and be in their shoes.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
If it's not your anger, it's their anger, and we
take it on. If it's something that we haven't healed
within us, if it doesn't bother us, well then it's
not with It will just pass way through us and
we'll go and find someone else on the road to
have the road range. So you know, we're all cars
(31:35):
on the on the highway and someone gets angry on
the road. They're trying to find a like vibration, so
they'll find but it will go straight past Lisa, because
she's sort of like high vibrant. There's no match, there's
no match in the energy, whereas this they find the
angry car will find a like match an angry person
(31:56):
and then came warm.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
So the main thing is not to take on the.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
Energy to have that empowered conversation when you're feeling sad,
when you're feeling fearful, when you're feeling angry, and then
it can actually it can actually dissolve the energy.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
It can actually move through you and it will find
its match with someone else.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
I love how you put that in your right, energy
attracts energy, so angert anger. So that was very visual
for us to picture those two cars crashing together and
it makes a lot of stense. So why don't you,
Elizabeth talk to us a little bit about your book
and what you provide where to find you, and then
we're going to wrap up for the day.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
We're on a set of time.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
Yes, that went quickly, Lisa, probably too much talking to
So my book rein First Unlocking Your Ultimate Life is
best to jump my website Elizabeth Jane dot com dot
a U. And it is really it's a book to
uplift you know, whatever stage you're in, it was during
(33:11):
your life, whether you're going through a challenge with a
financial challenge, a health challenge, a relationship challenge, and it's
it's really succinctly wishen. You know, there's little summary boxes
and there's a lot of extended reading. Should you want
to explore certain areas of to uplift you into a
(33:34):
more fulfilling to open your full potential?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Beautiful?
Speaker 1 (33:41):
And before we go, what would you say to our audience, like,
what is one tipe you would give them on finding
their attract attracting their perfect partner and a few action
stuffs that they can take today towards that goal.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Yes, well, I think what what I talked to out
initially and we opened with today is is we will
never attract what we want into our life. We will
attract what we are. So one thing to take away
(34:19):
is to take ladders.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
In life that lift your vibe.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
And be more aware of the slippery snakes that take
our vibe down.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
And when we can start lifting up, we will we.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
Will get high more higher vibe opportunities and people will
start stepping into our life and the lower vibe challenges
and people will start to move away.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
As we step up, they will step on or move on.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yah. Thank you, Elizabeth. It's possible. You know.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
We just got to keep working on ourselves and we
will find the perfect partner. So thank you so much
for coming back and sharing your knowledge with us and
your book Free and First Unlocking your Ultimate Life. You know,
sounds like an amazing, amazing book. I have yet to
read it. It's on my list along with a few others,
(35:26):
so I'm excited about it. It sounds like, you know,
there's a lot of insight in there that would be
really valuable.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Thank you so much, Lisa, It's great to be here
with you and your audience.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Amazing you guys. That was Elizabeth Jane. She will be
joining us again soon, so stay tuned and until next time,
I'm Lisa Ybanski with the Advisor. Elizabeth, what are you
gonna have for breakfast or did you eat already?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I'm more.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
I love my sable very, I love an asilu all
with lots of fresh fruit and granola.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
And and yes.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Sometimes I sleep in a coffee bit or a chat
depends on what mood.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
I mean beautiful, and I'm going to go have dinner,
so we'll let the audience go for today.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I think I'm going to.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Go make some vegetables and then we've got to go
grocery shopping, so fun stuff, fun stuff. You have a
good day, and for our audience, thank you so much
for tuning in until next time.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.