December 16, 2024 • 41 mins
Are you tired of feeling stuck and unhappy? Do you want to break free from the obstacles holding you back and find true happiness? In this deep-dive conversation with host Stacey Chillemi and the inspiring Elizabeth Jane, discover practical strategies and invaluable insights to navigate challenges, cultivate resilience, and embrace a joy-filled existence.
We'll explore practical strategies and mindset shifts to help you overcome obstacles and find happiness NOW! From reframing negative thoughts to building resilience and cultivating gratitude, we'll dive into the essential tools you need to live a more fulfilling life.
Tune in to discover how to shift your focus, let go of what's holding you back, and start living the life you deserve. Get ready to overcome obstacles and find happiness now!
Visit Elizabeth Jane's official website to explore her inspirational art, empowering books, and insightful media content at https://elizabethjane.com.au/
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/free-to-be-me-self-discovery-authentic-living-empowerment--6448259/support.
We'll explore practical strategies and mindset shifts to help you overcome obstacles and find happiness NOW! From reframing negative thoughts to building resilience and cultivating gratitude, we'll dive into the essential tools you need to live a more fulfilling life.
Tune in to discover how to shift your focus, let go of what's holding you back, and start living the life you deserve. Get ready to overcome obstacles and find happiness now!
Visit Elizabeth Jane's official website to explore her inspirational art, empowering books, and insightful media content at https://elizabethjane.com.au/
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/free-to-be-me-self-discovery-authentic-living-empowerment--6448259/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Advisor with Stacy Chillemy.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Today.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I'm very excited because we have a very special guest today.
She is part of our podcast community. She has her
own show on our channel, and she is just an
amazing individual who speaks on a lot of different topics
for pertaining to happiness and self improvement and learning how
to improve your life overall in all areas. And she's
(00:28):
here today to talk about happiness, how to bring happiness
into your life and how to improve your life and
all the different components that make up the word happiness.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Are they in your life? Are you practicing them? What
are they?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And she's going to tell you all about that, and
she's going to tell you ways to make you yourself happy
both inside, in your heart and overall.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
So when you look.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
People look at you, they see that glow, they see
that happiness that shine, and you feel it in your
heart as well, and that's the way it should be.
So she's going to tell you how you can make
changes in twenty twenty five that are going to make
you feel like an amazing person.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
So, Elizabeth, it is.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Always a pleasure to have you on this show.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I just love.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
When you come on, you are just a ball of joy.
And today I'm so glad you're going to be talking
about happiness and how to bring happiness into your life.
And it's the components that make up happiness and that
everybody should have in their life. But before we begin,
can you tell.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Everybody a little about yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
And what made you be so passionate about happiness.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Certainly, thank you, Stacy, thank you for having me on again.
And yes, so well, if I thought I had a
very happy life.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I had four healthy, happy.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Children and a wonderful marriage, and then I got a
bit of a shock happening in a few years ago,
where my marriage fell apart and I had no warning,
and I went into a spin, you know, like a
rollercoaster spin of emotions, dark emotions, shock, sadness, disbelief, victim, mentality,
(02:14):
every possible.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Dark emotion you can imagine. And then I thought to myself, well,
you know, because I'd really lost myself in the roles.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Of looking after my four children and looking after my husband,
and I'd unknowingly forgotten about me over a quarter of
a century.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
It was twenty five year marriage and when.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I when I realized that the children were all adults,
and my husband was no longer my husband so well,
but at the beginning, I thought I'd lost my reason
for being is they had been my.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Life for twenty five years.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
And so then I realized that divorce is so common,
and I started to work out how to get myself
out of the mud, how to get myself up back
into the bouncing me that I knew, And so I
started to write down things, and I was exploring different modalities.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
I was traveling to India to ushurms.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I was really going full focus on trying to work
out what would work to get me feeling good. And
so I did my training in Kundalini yoga, went to
self help workshops. I was reading everything I could find,
and then I realized that I really needed to help
(03:55):
my friends around me and people who were coming to.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Me because they were realizing the I was getting through it.
And then my book organically grew.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
So my book is a book about how to feel
good fast. Well, there's no there's no there's no real
quick quick fix, but my book is.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Written in a way that no matter how bad your.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Life situation may be, whether it's a relationship problem, a
financial problem, or a health problem. Maybe some people unfortunately
have all three. How those problems or those obstacles which
they are, can be opportunities. They can be opportunities to
(04:42):
bounce you into abundance and know much more happiness than
you can ever imagine.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
It's just a matter.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Of looking at being able to look at it, and
with the tools and tips in my book Free and First,
Free and First, Unlocking your Ultimate Life, there's tools and
tips to what work you through and to lift you up.
So it's really a matter of focus and determination. And
(05:15):
sometimes I would step back, and you know, I'd have
a really bad day, and then it'd be ted three
steps back and one step forward. But if we if
we can sign on that we deserve and it's our
birth right to be happy.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
It's our birthright to be happy and abundant and free.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
So you know, we're we're much more than this body
where you know, So we're a sovereign being and we
just once we start remembering that we are worthy to
have our needs met, and then you know, I have
so many tools in my book, but I don't know
(05:58):
where to start really with talking about them. But what
you're saying is the best way, Well.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
You know, when I think of happiness, I think of
so many people struggle with happiness, especially around the holidays,
or sometimes around birthdays, or sometimes people have just had
a lot of struggles in their life. You know, there's
many reasons why people lack happiness in their life. And
everybody has their own story and has their own journey
(06:26):
in life that has led them to a certain time.
But we all go through moments in our life where
that happiness sometimes evaporates and we were like, why why
am I here? You know, why am I feeling like this?
It's not fair? You know, look at that person. That
person's happy, but.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Why am I not happy?
Speaker 4 (06:46):
When you're looking.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
To bring happiness back into your life, what would you say?
The first step is like, what do we need to
start doing if we are not feeling happining and we're
waking up with that with that feeling of another day,
you know, but we want to be happy and we
see other people happy, it's like, why can I be
like that person?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
What step one for you? What did you find.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Most effective in the beginning this first step to happiness?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Okay, well, Stacy, first I must say that you know
I'm not a health professional. Sorry, you know people, So
you know, like if you are feeling really down, speaking
to a health professional, a therapist is maybe the best
for you. But for me, I can only speak from
my experience. In the early days, I had my go
(07:37):
to list. I had a go to list on the
fridge and near my toothbrush, and when I went into
I had a trigger, you know, the the Christmas time,
and we were usually following the traditions of doing certain
things as a family of six, and and you know
(08:01):
I'd be triggered and feel all alone, feel abandoned, rejected,
and why me. I'd have a list of things to
actually just pick me up instantly, to get me out
of bed.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
So whether that was well, silly things. You know, the
sillier we can be, the better. You know, children play
and they and they do silly things.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
So you know, whether it was just you know, skipping,
skipping to get my copy, or cutting flowers in.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
The street, don't tell anyone, just.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Taking that favorite flower and pinching it off and putting
it in a vase of water, or just the simple
things to actually bring you back into your presence rather
than in our thoughts. Because what I've learned is that
(09:04):
when we're feeling yuck. When we're not feeling good, we
are not present. We if we're fully fully present, we
can't be feeling the awful thoughts. It's usually when we're
thinking unconsciously, often of the past, the regret, the.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Shame, the blame, the judgment, the sadness, the guilt, all
all the yucky stuff you know about Oh I could have,
would have, should have blah. You know. It goes on
the story, the drama, and we go.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Into the drama consciously, consciously or unconsciously, and what does
it do for us?
Speaker 4 (09:47):
It pulls us down into the well, into the dark
deep well.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
And also if we go into the future consciously or unconsciously.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
What am I going to do now?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
I'm not going to have a job, I'm not going
to have I don't know where my house is going
to be.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I don't know when I'm going to see my children.
All that is going to drive our vibe down.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
So we need to come and power up in the present.
We need to power up like we charge our mobile
phone every night. We need to power up our energy,
our vibe by coming, Oh gosh, I'm feeling awful. I
must be consciously or unconsciously thinking thoughts, emotions tied to
(10:34):
the past, the future. I'm going to come into the
present and power right because then then well I haven't
read the many books on this, but as you lift
your vibe, you you would naturally attract higher vibe people
and higher vibe opportunities into your life.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
So the tree is do what you.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Can take the ten minutes to do something silly. Put
a silly listen, dance to a silly song on the radio,
have a bub ba, bring a friend that uplifts you.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Grab all your supportive friends, toss out.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
The ones that are not supportive who want to hang
in the drama.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
The drama is.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Driving us down, and being in the present and following
our joy is lifting us up.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
That's so and I think it's so important to be
around people that have positive vibes, people who you know
will lift us up, and people who really want to
elevate to higher levels in their life emotionally, physically, mentally,
you know, monetarily, whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Their goals are.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
But people who are thriving to be better, to have
to really get the best out of life they possibly can,
those are the people that.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
We want to surround ourselves with I think that's so important.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
And I suppose. And then the second thing.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
So the first thing is, yes, try and keep us
bring joy into your life, and no.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Matter how, be creative about it.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And you only know what makes you happy, because everyone's
got different ideas of what brings them joy.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
But the second thing is we get so busy with.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Our lives that you know on the life hamster wheel,
with our families, with our work, is that we have
to be authentic with how we feel.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
It's no good lass sort of keep looking at Facebook
and seeing all those smiley faces and going, oh, I'm.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Happy, I'm happy. And because if we don't, if we
don't look.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Feel how we feel, we don't allow those heavy emotions
to feel acknowledged, allowed and to somewhat and accept it
that that's how I feel right now.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
And that's the trick we have to if we don't.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
In my book, I talk about the ABC of Me,
we don't acknowledge, allow, accept how we feel. These feelings,
you know, these heavy feelings hold us down.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
They hold us down. So you go, oh, no, I'm
not happy, I'm not angry, I'm.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Not hungry, and you've got your sort of simmering with
anger inside, which will keep you from taking that hot
air balloon up into more happiness. So therefore, the second
thing we need to do is actually it take some
time out to reset and to feel how we feel,
(13:51):
and then work out what boundaries we need and then
following through the good communication of the boundary. So let's
see ABC acknowledging B boundaries, see communication of the boundaries,
and then we're free. Sounds easy, but we have to
be able to have that self esteem and that confidence
(14:14):
to go, oh, yes it do matter, I do measure,
I can stand up and put me first. Because if
we don't put ourselves first, our vibe will go down
the plug hole with our vibe and then we're giving
that radiating that lower vibe out to our children, to
(14:38):
our friends. So if everyone can actually be putting themselves first,
then we can radiate more light and assist our families
and friends after we've assisted ourselves first.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yes, one, what else would you think is because you
mentioned there were several things that we could do, what
would be step three?
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Okay, So the first one, you know, the immediate one
when you're feeling down, is just as we've said, to
have your go to list.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Yes, so number two is.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Too, you know, feel into your feelings, the ABC of
me and apply that, you know, with setting boundaries and
following through.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Now, there's lots of other the obvious ones are well
maybe not obvious to everyone.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
But to actually have some exercise and encourage those those
happy endorphins.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
And choose an exercise that things you joy. I'm going
to I'm going to the gym. That's good, wonderful. I'm
going to the gym. I go, well, you know, I'm
very blessed because I break up and I feel into what.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
My body needs and I go, Is it a yoga class?
Is it jumping on my well electric bike?
Speaker 4 (16:10):
I'm don't have to.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Press the button all the time to you know, but
feeling into what you need, you know, maybe it's.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
A simple walk to the park, walk around the block.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Yes, don't anything to actually take you out of your
head and your to do list.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Go.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Okay, I'm going to put my runners on or sneakers
what do you call them?
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I don't know what you call them? Sneakers running, and
I'm just going to go and I'm going to walk
for ten minutes. I don't know where I'm going to
walk to I'm just going to just I'm going to
walk for ten minutes. I'm just going to just.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Close my laptop and I'm not even going to take
these things called no what are they called ear plugs.
I'm just going to just going to just walk outside
and see what noises and smells and and things that
I can actually identify, because that's bringing them into the now,
(17:13):
which we talked about so on. That exercise is good.
Hobbies is another one. Why a hobby is good.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Because hobbies are because you've chosen something you enjoy.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
You get a buzz up. You get a buzz up.
You also get a buzz up because you have to
be present in a hobby. Yes, no matter what you're doing,
doesn't matter if you're stamp collecting or.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Playing chess or whatever. You're present. You're not in your
mind exactly past or future.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
The hobbies are really good. I think we've passed two
or three. But the gratitude and forgiveness, I link those
two together. I used to think, oh, forgiveness, I'm going
to fake it until I make it because that's what
I've been told.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
How can I forgive?
Speaker 3 (18:08):
We know the X for putting me through this challenge
which became a very big opportunity.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
How can I forgive him?
Speaker 3 (18:18):
But it became easier to forgive him when I could
realize that he had given me this amazing opportunity to
find me, to rediscover me, to to find and not
only but to actually step up into putting myself first
as to what I wanted to do on this planet.
(18:40):
And so I'm very extremely thankful to my husband because
you know, we have four healthy children, and we had
so many life experiences together, but there were there were
more to be had and I'm still having as I
(19:01):
find more and more of myself. So so on that note,
I mean, the more we can uncover and find our
authentic self, that's our power.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
That is absolutely our power to.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Actually when we're in our authentic self and meeting our
own needs, well, guess what, we're not trying to seek
approval and people please other people. Because we've got our
own self watering systems set up. We know how to
meet our own needs and we can say no.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
We can say no to things that don't bring us joy.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Hey, actually, this weekend, I don't think I do want
to go to three parties back to back. I think
I rather just have time for me. I think, I
rather just you know, pick up my favorite food and
have a bubble bath and put my music on and
(20:04):
do what brings lifts me up.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
So it's really a matter of feeling into what you need.
But we can't do that unless we stop, unless we
take time to stop without the noise of life, right,
because it's a very it's a very noisy life, whether
it's the noise of.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Work or family, you know, playing entertain taining with friends, right,
whatever noise it is.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
It's just a matter of finding that ten minutes regularly
every every day. I mean, if you can fit ten
minutes in in the morning and ten minutes in at lunchtime, right,
and then it brings me to you know. You know,
the mindful reflection is the meditation. I don't go past
a day now with meditation. Did I meditate in the
(21:03):
early days. No, It's a relatively new thing for me
in this life. But I see meditation. You don't have
to be in like a guru in a yogi position.
It's to me, meditation is actually giving your mind time
(21:24):
to be present, to be present.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
You know, you can be you can be breathing as
a meditation when you when you get and you get.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Distracted, you go, oh, I'm not feeling my I'm not
listening to my breathing.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
I'm not present with my breathing. You bring yourself back
back in, back into the now, yes.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Or walk in the park, you know, feeling the crunches,
the leaves, feeling all your senses alive.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Oh, I'm present. I'm in meditation.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Which is I really think you know, because you're powering
up and that's that's the point of a meditation is
to actually stop draining yourself of your energy.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Yes, and it is to power up in the present.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Oh yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
What great advice, you know, And it seems like really
one of the main things is really, you know, when
you talk about all these different things, it's like finding yourself,
letting go of you know, what you thought you were
and really figuring out who you are by focusing on
the present tense and doing all the things like your
(22:35):
go to list, your ABC of me exercise and learning forgiveness, gratitude,
you know, being in the present and really figuring out
who am I today in this present life and then
really appreciating that and really, you know, once I think
we figure out who we are and what we represent.
(22:56):
I think that changes us and it boasts our self esteems,
and it makes us stronger, and it really you know,
I think when I went through a lot of those
steps that you were discussing, you know, my self esteem
went up. I realized who I was and it was
no longer a guessing game. It was a new person
that I realized I've become over the years as I've
(23:17):
gotten older, and I liked this person and it was
it was, it was really, it was helpful and it
really brought happiness to me too. And I think the
main things it's, like you said, not getting lost in
the past or the present, but being you know, in
the future, I mean, but being in the present.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
M hm, yes, And I think I think one thing
that you reminded me is that we don't make it
make life a journey, and don't be so hard on yourself.
Don't be hard on yourself sometimes, you know, a baby
step from my day would have been just too you know,
(23:58):
to get out of bed and make it to my
coach or my counselor slash therapist whatever you want.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
And so don't think, oh, you know, no.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Stacy's looking so bright and happy, and everyone on Facebook's
looking bright and happy, and I'm not that. And don't
be hard on yourself. Just take each day, each moment
of each day. So break it down, you know, as
to what you feel, start to feel into what you need.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
And so for each half an hour in the early.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Days, I go, Okay, what do I feel like for
this next half hour?
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Yes, break it down? What do I do?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
I am I hungry? Am I absolutely exhausted? Do I
need to just flop on my bed and sleep? You know,
just treat yourself ironically as as if you were a
five old you wouldn't go, oh, you're not exhausted.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
Just get back out there, get back out there and
do some more work.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
You know, you be more compassionate to a five year
old child, So try and have that compassion.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
For you and to actually be kind to yourself.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
And you know, and in the early days, that might
be your sort of mantra. I must I choose to
be kind to myself.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
I choose to put me first, my needs first.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
You know, because life can be can be very challenging,
and you know, I think that that's you know, life's
a journey and if we don't get too serious about it.
I know it's easy too, but if we can just
find the joy and little things and not get bogged down,
(25:58):
bogged down in.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
The in the past, the drama.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
You know, say goodbye to friends that want to go
over and over and over and over the bad things
that are happening in your life, you know, the drama.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
We'll call it the drama.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yeah, and say, and allow the fresh breeze of new
opportunities and people who lift you up, yes, to come
in to fill that space.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Oh, one hundred percent. So well said. It's so true.
It's so true.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
I feel that it makes a big difference. When you
apply all the things that you mentioned today into your life,
you definitely will see a huge difference.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
And I always say, reward yourself too, you.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Know, like for the little things, you know, like you know,
those little things are big things, you know, and you know,
give yourself a bubble bath or you know, reward yourself
with something that makes you happy. You know, each time
you've accomplished those those little things, like you said, just
getting off the couch.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
You know, all right, I got off the couch.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
You know, give yourself a reward you know, and you know,
maybe tonight.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I'll take a bubble bath. I got off the couch.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I did this, and now I'm going to reward myself,
you know. And I think that, you know, makes you
feel good and it feels a sense of achievement, and
I think that also could be a momentum to want
to keep moving forward to. And you know, yes, I
like the things that you the different things that you have.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
In your book.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
And you know, so you have a second version of
this book coming out soon, right, you're working on the
second version of it.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
Correct, Yes, yes, yes, I am. Just it's just it's
going to have a bright yellow cover.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
So it's still got my first painting, because that was
the story was when I got into my art, I
was throwing myself into something that I wanted to try,
and I tried to not listen.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
To my thoughts, which were saying, what do you think
you're going to do? Elizabeth? You're just wasting your time.
You don't know how to draw, how do you get
a paint? And so I had.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
My painting teacher who had bought my canvas and my paints, and.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I thought, well, I'll just give it a go.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
There's more we can just throw ourselves into things and
not have expectation and put pressure on ourselves of whether it's.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Going to work out or not.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
You know, a child doesn't go, oh well, I have
to have the finger painting class before I've learned to
finger paint. They just pop into the finger painting and
then and then the mother goes, this is this is
a masterpiece because so much love has gone into it.
And that's that's the thing. When we when we've got
(28:51):
when we're oozing with love and joy, it changes the
whole whole scheme of things. So it's really a matter
of lifting your vibration into more joy and more light
and letting go of allowing yourself to let go of
(29:13):
the heavy emotions that it's down.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
So yes, I love that.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Yeah, and yes, so no, I'm just in So I
have I do have children's books in the future hopefully
to come, because I have the four children and being
a primary school teacher, it feels like in another life,
I just like the idea of children being able to
they like to rhyming rhyming books and with illustrations, so
(29:47):
ones of children of Australian animals, introducing kids to Australian
animals and how we have to take care of our
animals and.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
But in a sort of a fun sort of poem
sort of yes, oh so.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
But I have spent a lot of time just doing
podcasts and interviews around the world because I really my
passion is to pass on these really simple tools in
the form of my book Free and First Unlocking your
Ultimate Life, because everyone deserves happy life, and these challenges
(30:32):
that are coming are actually to help you to lift
up into more joy, into more happiness. You don't think
so at the time, I agree. I can hear you all.
I can hear you listeners and the viewers. No, this
is not going to bring me more joy. But we
(30:52):
will look back and if you apply some of the
tools and tips at Stacy and has talked about and
I've talked about, you will look back and go, ah,
I see you know this challenge happened because it was
it catapulted me into finding me.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Because because it's very easy.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Know, you can lose yourself not only in your children.
You can lose yourself in work. You can lose yourself
in a relationship, you can lose yourself in an addiction.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
And what it is is.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
When we're losing ourselves because we don't want to feel
how we feel, and it's sort of like we don't
want to feel so oh, I think I'll just.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Have another Champagne and I'll be happy. It's Christmas time.
It's Christmas time. I think you'll have another.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
But it really just masks how you feel, and those
little grumpy, sad feelings are still inside of us. So
those grumpy sad feelings will continue to plug us down
and pop up when we don't want them to if
we don't allow them, accept them, acknowledge them, and so
that they can actually be processed, processed to be moved on.
(32:10):
You can process them more easily with art therapy, you know,
like we're doing something creative. Therapy could be doesn't have
to be painting or writing, like journaling. We talk about journaling,
you know, like, so I think psychologists will talk about
your journal your feelings, get them down because it actually
(32:33):
helps process them to lift to allow them to move on,
so they're not holding you back. So whether but we
also do it when we're doing something creative, because we're
actually anything.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
That keeps you present.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Is helping to process and move on heavy feelings. But
if we're going and as we said, the past or
the future were often energizing the bad energy.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
If you had to take our conversation today and you
want to emphasize on some important factors, what are some
of the things that you'd really like to emphasize to
the listeners today.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
So Number one, when you're feeling not good, do something
about it. Do something about it, whether that is make
a appointment with your therapist, or you're on your list
of tend to go to list near your fridge, or need.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Your toothbrush, do something about it.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Lift yourself up. And then the second thing is to
buy my book. To buy my book, you can get it.
You can get it online. It's just so easy on Amazon,
and you can get it in digital form.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
That's what I was trying to say. So if you
don't want it.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
It's not a bulky book, and it's a very straightforward book,
but it will give you tools and tips that you can.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
Apply straight away in your life.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
So that besides to do this is to take time
out every day, every single day, ten minutes in the morning,
ten minutes say at lunch, and ten minutes before you
go to bed, to stop and to feel how you
feel and acknowledge how you feel.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
Acknowledge Okay, I.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Feel really angry. Okay, what can I do with that anger? Yes,
I can hold it inside of me. I don't think
that's a really good decision because it just keeps you down.
I can have a I can have a road rage
situation and create a big bomb of negative energy.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Maybe not good.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Or I could take Elizabeth's tool the ABC of me
and an empowered conversation too. Not around about talking to
my mates about that person, but directly with my boss,
or directly with my spouse, directly with my partner, directly
(35:15):
with my child.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Hey, I feel X when you do?
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Why what can we because I can't argue with how
you feel?
Speaker 4 (35:26):
Oh you don't feel that? You don't feel that? Yes
I do. I feel this.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
So perhaps next time this happens, I don't condone your behavior.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
And this is what I need and I I should
be respected from this need. I'm not well.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
We'll have to, you know, look at something different. Whether
that's zevering our relationship, we'll modifying it or whatever it
may be. In the circumstance the ABC and to be
able to speak up takes a lot of courage a
lot of vulnerability, and so in my book there's a
whole chapter on learning how to speak out to learning
(36:12):
how to speak up so as we can meet our
needs and be free.
Speaker 4 (36:15):
Yes, we can be free.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
We can just take this, take the reins of our life,
be the leader of our life once we are the.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
Master of our mind.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Exactly so, and it takes as a whole chapter on
you could call it self care or whatever we want
to call it. It's a very important chapter because you know,
it's not being selfish to put yourself first.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
That may be what most people have to get. I
had to get used to because you feel, you know,
we're so programmed often to put ourselves last.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
I've got my kids, you know, I really want to
support my husband, or I want to support my you know,
I want to support my friends.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
And you have to feel your cup first.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
It doesn't work otherwise, it's like the steward's on the plane,
put your mask on before you help others. It's the
only only way, the only way. So yes, so following
your joy, working on self care so as you can
(37:27):
have those empowered conversations, taking the time each day to
stop and feel into your feelings and put boundaries in place,
and keep adjusting those boundaries. Those boundaries might, you know,
one boundary today might not be the boundary tomorrow. Keep
feeling into how you feel. Because our lives are dynamic.
(37:50):
Everything's in motion, you know, people, feelings, everything, everything's changing,
and so we have to be adaptable and flexible enough
to know, oh, well I felt okay yesterday, but today, no,
it's a different day. I woke up and this is
(38:11):
how it is. And well, I'm going to really feel
into I'm going to take that time out of my busyness.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
I'm going to feel into what. You know, some people
say what my inner child is wanting? You know what?
What what my true emotion? What's the truth? How I what?
I what I need?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
So, yes, that's why I hope that oh it does?
It does?
Speaker 1 (38:39):
I think that that's Those are great takeaways, I really do.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
And what are some of the services that you provide?
Speaker 4 (38:47):
So so.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
I am the best thing to do is to step
to hop on my website Elizabeth Jane dot com dot
a U and I must have been. I don't go
on to Facebook or Instagram. So I have a wonderful
lady Tess who puts up all my radio interviews. Radio
(39:11):
interviews usual only go for about ten minutes ten minutes,
and podcasts around the world. So I've been doing podcasts
thankfully at the stage, I'm a guest on other people's
podcasts rather than having to do the hard work that
Stacy has having her own podcasts, because I think that's
(39:34):
very much. You know, it has its own challenges and
so I really enjoy. So everything is on my Instagram
and my Facebook, which can be accessed through my website
Elizabeth Jane dot com dot au, as.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
Well as my book of Course and all future books.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
But my interviews and podcasts are all focusing on lifting
our lives so as we can fully step into our
authentic power, because it's really just once we can actually
(40:16):
tap into our truth and hold true on our truth, yes, well,
then our life becomes our own.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
And that's when the magic starts to happen.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Yes, Oh my goodness, this has been amazing, Elizabeth.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Thank you so much for coming on the show today.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
I just love you know, the topic you chose, and
you provided so much valuable information because there are so
many people out there that really want to experience their
authentic selves and they want to be happy and they
want to move on in life, and you know, sometimes
that could be very difficult, and I love how your
book breaks it up and makes it very you know,
(40:59):
into plistic terms so people can work on themselves and
really see, you know, a vast change in their overall
cells over time.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
So I just want to say, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
You took something from your own life that was truly
a hard moment in your own life. You overcame it,
You rose above those obstacles, and now you're helping others, so,
you know, thank you so much, so much for sharing
your story and then showing people how to overcome hardships
in their life.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
Oh, thank you, Stacy. Thank you for having me on.
And I'll be back, and yes, hopefully it might be
with another book, but whatever your listeners and viewers need,
I'll be back to see you.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Oh I look forward to it. Well, you have a
great day, Okay.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Thank you
Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Advisor with Stacy Chillemy.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Today.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I'm very excited because we have a very special guest today.
She is part of our podcast community. She has her
own show on our channel, and she is just an
amazing individual who speaks on a lot of different topics
for pertaining to happiness and self improvement and learning how
to improve your life overall in all areas. And she's
(00:28):
here today to talk about happiness, how to bring happiness
into your life and how to improve your life and
all the different components that make up the word happiness.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Are they in your life? Are you practicing them? What
are they?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And she's going to tell you all about that, and
she's going to tell you ways to make you yourself happy
both inside, in your heart and overall.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
So when you look.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
People look at you, they see that glow, they see
that happiness that shine, and you feel it in your
heart as well, and that's the way it should be.
So she's going to tell you how you can make
changes in twenty twenty five that are going to make
you feel like an amazing person.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
So, Elizabeth, it is.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Always a pleasure to have you on this show.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I just love.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
When you come on, you are just a ball of joy.
And today I'm so glad you're going to be talking
about happiness and how to bring happiness into your life.
And it's the components that make up happiness and that
everybody should have in their life. But before we begin,
can you tell.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Everybody a little about yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
And what made you be so passionate about happiness.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Certainly, thank you, Stacy, thank you for having me on again.
And yes, so well, if I thought I had a
very happy life.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I had four healthy, happy.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Children and a wonderful marriage, and then I got a
bit of a shock happening in a few years ago,
where my marriage fell apart and I had no warning,
and I went into a spin, you know, like a
rollercoaster spin of emotions, dark emotions, shock, sadness, disbelief, victim, mentality,
(02:14):
every possible.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Dark emotion you can imagine. And then I thought to myself, well,
you know, because I'd really lost myself in the roles.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Of looking after my four children and looking after my husband,
and I'd unknowingly forgotten about me over a quarter of
a century.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
It was twenty five year marriage and when.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I when I realized that the children were all adults,
and my husband was no longer my husband so well,
but at the beginning, I thought I'd lost my reason
for being is they had been my.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Life for twenty five years.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
And so then I realized that divorce is so common,
and I started to work out how to get myself
out of the mud, how to get myself up back
into the bouncing me that I knew, And so I
started to write down things, and I was exploring different modalities.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
I was traveling to India to ushurms.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I was really going full focus on trying to work
out what would work to get me feeling good. And
so I did my training in Kundalini yoga, went to
self help workshops. I was reading everything I could find,
and then I realized that I really needed to help
(03:55):
my friends around me and people who were coming to.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Me because they were realizing the I was getting through it.
And then my book organically grew.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
So my book is a book about how to feel
good fast. Well, there's no there's no there's no real
quick quick fix, but my book is.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Written in a way that no matter how bad your.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Life situation may be, whether it's a relationship problem, a
financial problem, or a health problem. Maybe some people unfortunately
have all three. How those problems or those obstacles which
they are, can be opportunities. They can be opportunities to
(04:42):
bounce you into abundance and know much more happiness than
you can ever imagine.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
It's just a matter.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Of looking at being able to look at it, and
with the tools and tips in my book Free and First,
Free and First, Unlocking your Ultimate Life, there's tools and
tips to what work you through and to lift you up.
So it's really a matter of focus and determination. And
(05:15):
sometimes I would step back, and you know, I'd have
a really bad day, and then it'd be ted three
steps back and one step forward. But if we if
we can sign on that we deserve and it's our
birth right to be happy.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
It's our birthright to be happy and abundant and free.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
So you know, we're we're much more than this body
where you know, So we're a sovereign being and we
just once we start remembering that we are worthy to
have our needs met, and then you know, I have
so many tools in my book, but I don't know
(05:58):
where to start really with talking about them. But what
you're saying is the best way, Well.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
You know, when I think of happiness, I think of
so many people struggle with happiness, especially around the holidays,
or sometimes around birthdays, or sometimes people have just had
a lot of struggles in their life. You know, there's
many reasons why people lack happiness in their life. And
everybody has their own story and has their own journey
(06:26):
in life that has led them to a certain time.
But we all go through moments in our life where
that happiness sometimes evaporates and we were like, why why
am I here? You know, why am I feeling like this?
It's not fair? You know, look at that person. That
person's happy, but.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Why am I not happy?
Speaker 4 (06:46):
When you're looking.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
To bring happiness back into your life, what would you say?
The first step is like, what do we need to
start doing if we are not feeling happining and we're
waking up with that with that feeling of another day,
you know, but we want to be happy and we
see other people happy, it's like, why can I be
like that person?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
What step one for you? What did you find.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Most effective in the beginning this first step to happiness?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Okay, well, Stacy, first I must say that you know
I'm not a health professional. Sorry, you know people, So
you know, like if you are feeling really down, speaking
to a health professional, a therapist is maybe the best
for you. But for me, I can only speak from
my experience. In the early days, I had my go
(07:37):
to list. I had a go to list on the
fridge and near my toothbrush, and when I went into
I had a trigger, you know, the the Christmas time,
and we were usually following the traditions of doing certain
things as a family of six, and and you know
(08:01):
I'd be triggered and feel all alone, feel abandoned, rejected,
and why me. I'd have a list of things to
actually just pick me up instantly, to get me out
of bed.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
So whether that was well, silly things. You know, the
sillier we can be, the better. You know, children play
and they and they do silly things.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
So you know, whether it was just you know, skipping,
skipping to get my copy, or cutting flowers in.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
The street, don't tell anyone, just.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Taking that favorite flower and pinching it off and putting
it in a vase of water, or just the simple
things to actually bring you back into your presence rather
than in our thoughts. Because what I've learned is that
(09:04):
when we're feeling yuck. When we're not feeling good, we
are not present. We if we're fully fully present, we
can't be feeling the awful thoughts. It's usually when we're
thinking unconsciously, often of the past, the regret, the.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Shame, the blame, the judgment, the sadness, the guilt, all
all the yucky stuff you know about Oh I could have,
would have, should have blah. You know. It goes on
the story, the drama, and we go.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Into the drama consciously, consciously or unconsciously, and what does
it do for us?
Speaker 4 (09:47):
It pulls us down into the well, into the dark
deep well.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
And also if we go into the future consciously or unconsciously.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
What am I going to do now?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
I'm not going to have a job, I'm not going
to have I don't know where my house is going
to be.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I don't know when I'm going to see my children.
All that is going to drive our vibe down.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
So we need to come and power up in the present.
We need to power up like we charge our mobile
phone every night. We need to power up our energy,
our vibe by coming, Oh gosh, I'm feeling awful. I
must be consciously or unconsciously thinking thoughts, emotions tied to
(10:34):
the past, the future. I'm going to come into the
present and power right because then then well I haven't
read the many books on this, but as you lift
your vibe, you you would naturally attract higher vibe people
and higher vibe opportunities into your life.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
So the tree is do what you.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Can take the ten minutes to do something silly. Put
a silly listen, dance to a silly song on the radio,
have a bub ba, bring a friend that uplifts you.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Grab all your supportive friends, toss out.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
The ones that are not supportive who want to hang
in the drama.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
The drama is.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Driving us down, and being in the present and following
our joy is lifting us up.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
That's so and I think it's so important to be
around people that have positive vibes, people who you know
will lift us up, and people who really want to
elevate to higher levels in their life emotionally, physically, mentally,
you know, monetarily, whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Their goals are.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
But people who are thriving to be better, to have
to really get the best out of life they possibly can,
those are the people that.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
We want to surround ourselves with I think that's so important.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
And I suppose. And then the second thing.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
So the first thing is, yes, try and keep us
bring joy into your life, and no.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Matter how, be creative about it.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And you only know what makes you happy, because everyone's
got different ideas of what brings them joy.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
But the second thing is we get so busy with.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Our lives that you know on the life hamster wheel,
with our families, with our work, is that we have
to be authentic with how we feel.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
It's no good lass sort of keep looking at Facebook
and seeing all those smiley faces and going, oh, I'm.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Happy, I'm happy. And because if we don't, if we
don't look.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Feel how we feel, we don't allow those heavy emotions
to feel acknowledged, allowed and to somewhat and accept it
that that's how I feel right now.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
And that's the trick we have to if we don't.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
In my book, I talk about the ABC of Me,
we don't acknowledge, allow, accept how we feel. These feelings,
you know, these heavy feelings hold us down.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
They hold us down. So you go, oh, no, I'm
not happy, I'm not angry, I'm.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Not hungry, and you've got your sort of simmering with
anger inside, which will keep you from taking that hot
air balloon up into more happiness. So therefore, the second
thing we need to do is actually it take some
time out to reset and to feel how we feel,
(13:51):
and then work out what boundaries we need and then
following through the good communication of the boundary. So let's
see ABC acknowledging B boundaries, see communication of the boundaries,
and then we're free. Sounds easy, but we have to
be able to have that self esteem and that confidence
(14:14):
to go, oh, yes it do matter, I do measure,
I can stand up and put me first. Because if
we don't put ourselves first, our vibe will go down
the plug hole with our vibe and then we're giving
that radiating that lower vibe out to our children, to
(14:38):
our friends. So if everyone can actually be putting themselves first,
then we can radiate more light and assist our families
and friends after we've assisted ourselves first.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yes, one, what else would you think is because you
mentioned there were several things that we could do, what
would be step three?
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Okay, So the first one, you know, the immediate one
when you're feeling down, is just as we've said, to
have your go to list.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Yes, so number two is.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Too, you know, feel into your feelings, the ABC of
me and apply that, you know, with setting boundaries and
following through.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Now, there's lots of other the obvious ones are well
maybe not obvious to everyone.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
But to actually have some exercise and encourage those those
happy endorphins.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
And choose an exercise that things you joy. I'm going
to I'm going to the gym. That's good, wonderful. I'm
going to the gym. I go, well, you know, I'm
very blessed because I break up and I feel into what.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
My body needs and I go, Is it a yoga class?
Is it jumping on my well electric bike?
Speaker 4 (16:10):
I'm don't have to.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Press the button all the time to you know, but
feeling into what you need, you know, maybe it's.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
A simple walk to the park, walk around the block.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Yes, don't anything to actually take you out of your
head and your to do list.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Go.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Okay, I'm going to put my runners on or sneakers
what do you call them?
Speaker 4 (16:37):
I don't know what you call them? Sneakers running, and
I'm just going to go and I'm going to walk
for ten minutes. I don't know where I'm going to
walk to I'm just going to just I'm going to
walk for ten minutes. I'm just going to just.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Close my laptop and I'm not even going to take
these things called no what are they called ear plugs.
I'm just going to just going to just walk outside
and see what noises and smells and and things that
I can actually identify, because that's bringing them into the now,
(17:13):
which we talked about so on. That exercise is good.
Hobbies is another one. Why a hobby is good.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Because hobbies are because you've chosen something you enjoy.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
You get a buzz up. You get a buzz up.
You also get a buzz up because you have to
be present in a hobby. Yes, no matter what you're doing,
doesn't matter if you're stamp collecting or.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Playing chess or whatever. You're present. You're not in your
mind exactly past or future.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
The hobbies are really good. I think we've passed two
or three. But the gratitude and forgiveness, I link those
two together. I used to think, oh, forgiveness, I'm going
to fake it until I make it because that's what
I've been told.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
How can I forgive?
Speaker 3 (18:08):
We know the X for putting me through this challenge
which became a very big opportunity.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
How can I forgive him?
Speaker 3 (18:18):
But it became easier to forgive him when I could
realize that he had given me this amazing opportunity to
find me, to rediscover me, to to find and not
only but to actually step up into putting myself first
as to what I wanted to do on this planet.
(18:40):
And so I'm very extremely thankful to my husband because
you know, we have four healthy children, and we had
so many life experiences together, but there were there were
more to be had and I'm still having as I
(19:01):
find more and more of myself. So so on that note,
I mean, the more we can uncover and find our
authentic self, that's our power.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
That is absolutely our power to.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Actually when we're in our authentic self and meeting our
own needs, well, guess what, we're not trying to seek
approval and people please other people. Because we've got our
own self watering systems set up. We know how to
meet our own needs and we can say no.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
We can say no to things that don't bring us joy.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Hey, actually, this weekend, I don't think I do want
to go to three parties back to back. I think
I rather just have time for me. I think, I
rather just you know, pick up my favorite food and
have a bubble bath and put my music on and
(20:04):
do what brings lifts me up.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
So it's really a matter of feeling into what you need.
But we can't do that unless we stop, unless we
take time to stop without the noise of life, right,
because it's a very it's a very noisy life, whether
it's the noise of.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Work or family, you know, playing entertain taining with friends, right,
whatever noise it is.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
It's just a matter of finding that ten minutes regularly
every every day. I mean, if you can fit ten
minutes in in the morning and ten minutes in at lunchtime, right,
and then it brings me to you know. You know,
the mindful reflection is the meditation. I don't go past
a day now with meditation. Did I meditate in the
(21:03):
early days. No, It's a relatively new thing for me
in this life. But I see meditation. You don't have
to be in like a guru in a yogi position.
It's to me, meditation is actually giving your mind time
(21:24):
to be present, to be present.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
You know, you can be you can be breathing as
a meditation when you when you get and you get.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Distracted, you go, oh, I'm not feeling my I'm not
listening to my breathing.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
I'm not present with my breathing. You bring yourself back
back in, back into the now, yes.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Or walk in the park, you know, feeling the crunches,
the leaves, feeling all your senses alive.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Oh, I'm present. I'm in meditation.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Which is I really think you know, because you're powering
up and that's that's the point of a meditation is
to actually stop draining yourself of your energy.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Yes, and it is to power up in the present.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Oh yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
What great advice, you know, And it seems like really
one of the main things is really, you know, when
you talk about all these different things, it's like finding yourself,
letting go of you know, what you thought you were
and really figuring out who you are by focusing on
the present tense and doing all the things like your
(22:35):
go to list, your ABC of me exercise and learning forgiveness, gratitude,
you know, being in the present and really figuring out
who am I today in this present life and then
really appreciating that and really, you know, once I think
we figure out who we are and what we represent.
(22:56):
I think that changes us and it boasts our self esteems,
and it makes us stronger, and it really you know,
I think when I went through a lot of those
steps that you were discussing, you know, my self esteem
went up. I realized who I was and it was
no longer a guessing game. It was a new person
that I realized I've become over the years as I've
(23:17):
gotten older, and I liked this person and it was
it was, it was really, it was helpful and it
really brought happiness to me too. And I think the
main things it's, like you said, not getting lost in
the past or the present, but being you know, in
the future, I mean, but being in the present.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
M hm, yes, And I think I think one thing
that you reminded me is that we don't make it
make life a journey, and don't be so hard on yourself.
Don't be hard on yourself sometimes, you know, a baby
step from my day would have been just too you know,
(23:58):
to get out of bed and make it to my
coach or my counselor slash therapist whatever you want.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
And so don't think, oh, you know, no.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Stacy's looking so bright and happy, and everyone on Facebook's
looking bright and happy, and I'm not that. And don't
be hard on yourself. Just take each day, each moment
of each day. So break it down, you know, as
to what you feel, start to feel into what you need.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
And so for each half an hour in the early.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Days, I go, Okay, what do I feel like for
this next half hour?
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Yes, break it down? What do I do?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
I am I hungry? Am I absolutely exhausted? Do I
need to just flop on my bed and sleep? You know,
just treat yourself ironically as as if you were a
five old you wouldn't go, oh, you're not exhausted.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
Just get back out there, get back out there and
do some more work.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
You know, you be more compassionate to a five year
old child, So try and have that compassion.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
For you and to actually be kind to yourself.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
And you know, and in the early days, that might
be your sort of mantra. I must I choose to
be kind to myself.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
I choose to put me first, my needs first.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
You know, because life can be can be very challenging,
and you know, I think that that's you know, life's
a journey and if we don't get too serious about it.
I know it's easy too, but if we can just
find the joy and little things and not get bogged down,
(25:58):
bogged down in.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
The in the past, the drama.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
You know, say goodbye to friends that want to go
over and over and over and over the bad things
that are happening in your life, you know, the drama.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
We'll call it the drama.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yeah, and say, and allow the fresh breeze of new
opportunities and people who lift you up, yes, to come
in to fill that space.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Oh, one hundred percent. So well said. It's so true.
It's so true.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
I feel that it makes a big difference. When you
apply all the things that you mentioned today into your life,
you definitely will see a huge difference.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
And I always say, reward yourself too, you.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Know, like for the little things, you know, like you know,
those little things are big things, you know, and you know,
give yourself a bubble bath or you know, reward yourself
with something that makes you happy. You know, each time
you've accomplished those those little things, like you said, just
getting off the couch.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
You know, all right, I got off the couch.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
You know, give yourself a reward you know, and you know,
maybe tonight.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I'll take a bubble bath. I got off the couch.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I did this, and now I'm going to reward myself,
you know. And I think that, you know, makes you
feel good and it feels a sense of achievement, and
I think that also could be a momentum to want
to keep moving forward to. And you know, yes, I
like the things that you the different things that you have.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
In your book.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
And you know, so you have a second version of
this book coming out soon, right, you're working on the
second version of it.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
Correct, Yes, yes, yes, I am. Just it's just it's
going to have a bright yellow cover.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
So it's still got my first painting, because that was
the story was when I got into my art, I
was throwing myself into something that I wanted to try,
and I tried to not listen.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
To my thoughts, which were saying, what do you think
you're going to do? Elizabeth? You're just wasting your time.
You don't know how to draw, how do you get
a paint? And so I had.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
My painting teacher who had bought my canvas and my paints, and.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I thought, well, I'll just give it a go.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
There's more we can just throw ourselves into things and
not have expectation and put pressure on ourselves of whether it's.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Going to work out or not.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
You know, a child doesn't go, oh well, I have
to have the finger painting class before I've learned to
finger paint. They just pop into the finger painting and
then and then the mother goes, this is this is
a masterpiece because so much love has gone into it.
And that's that's the thing. When we when we've got
(28:51):
when we're oozing with love and joy, it changes the
whole whole scheme of things. So it's really a matter
of lifting your vibration into more joy and more light
and letting go of allowing yourself to let go of
(29:13):
the heavy emotions that it's down.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
So yes, I love that.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Yeah, and yes, so no, I'm just in So I
have I do have children's books in the future hopefully
to come, because I have the four children and being
a primary school teacher, it feels like in another life,
I just like the idea of children being able to
they like to rhyming rhyming books and with illustrations, so
(29:47):
ones of children of Australian animals, introducing kids to Australian
animals and how we have to take care of our
animals and.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
But in a sort of a fun sort of poem
sort of yes, oh so.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
But I have spent a lot of time just doing
podcasts and interviews around the world because I really my
passion is to pass on these really simple tools in
the form of my book Free and First Unlocking your
Ultimate Life, because everyone deserves happy life, and these challenges
(30:32):
that are coming are actually to help you to lift
up into more joy, into more happiness. You don't think
so at the time, I agree. I can hear you all.
I can hear you listeners and the viewers. No, this
is not going to bring me more joy. But we
(30:52):
will look back and if you apply some of the
tools and tips at Stacy and has talked about and
I've talked about, you will look back and go, ah,
I see you know this challenge happened because it was
it catapulted me into finding me.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Because because it's very easy.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Know, you can lose yourself not only in your children.
You can lose yourself in work. You can lose yourself
in a relationship, you can lose yourself in an addiction.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
And what it is is.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
When we're losing ourselves because we don't want to feel
how we feel, and it's sort of like we don't
want to feel so oh, I think I'll just.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Have another Champagne and I'll be happy. It's Christmas time.
It's Christmas time. I think you'll have another.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
But it really just masks how you feel, and those
little grumpy, sad feelings are still inside of us. So
those grumpy sad feelings will continue to plug us down
and pop up when we don't want them to if
we don't allow them, accept them, acknowledge them, and so
that they can actually be processed, processed to be moved on.
(32:10):
You can process them more easily with art therapy, you know,
like we're doing something creative. Therapy could be doesn't have
to be painting or writing, like journaling. We talk about journaling,
you know, like, so I think psychologists will talk about
your journal your feelings, get them down because it actually
(32:33):
helps process them to lift to allow them to move on,
so they're not holding you back. So whether but we
also do it when we're doing something creative, because we're
actually anything.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
That keeps you present.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Is helping to process and move on heavy feelings. But
if we're going and as we said, the past or
the future were often energizing the bad energy.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
If you had to take our conversation today and you
want to emphasize on some important factors, what are some
of the things that you'd really like to emphasize to
the listeners today.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
So Number one, when you're feeling not good, do something
about it. Do something about it, whether that is make
a appointment with your therapist, or you're on your list
of tend to go to list near your fridge, or need.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Your toothbrush, do something about it.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Lift yourself up. And then the second thing is to
buy my book. To buy my book, you can get it.
You can get it online. It's just so easy on Amazon,
and you can get it in digital form.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
That's what I was trying to say. So if you
don't want it.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
It's not a bulky book, and it's a very straightforward book,
but it will give you tools and tips that you can.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
Apply straight away in your life.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
So that besides to do this is to take time
out every day, every single day, ten minutes in the morning,
ten minutes say at lunch, and ten minutes before you
go to bed, to stop and to feel how you
feel and acknowledge how you feel.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
Acknowledge Okay, I.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Feel really angry. Okay, what can I do with that anger? Yes,
I can hold it inside of me. I don't think
that's a really good decision because it just keeps you down.
I can have a I can have a road rage
situation and create a big bomb of negative energy.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Maybe not good.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
Or I could take Elizabeth's tool the ABC of me
and an empowered conversation too. Not around about talking to
my mates about that person, but directly with my boss,
or directly with my spouse, directly with my partner, directly
(35:15):
with my child.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Hey, I feel X when you do?
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Why what can we because I can't argue with how
you feel?
Speaker 4 (35:26):
Oh you don't feel that? You don't feel that? Yes
I do. I feel this.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
So perhaps next time this happens, I don't condone your behavior.
Speaker 4 (35:38):
And this is what I need and I I should
be respected from this need. I'm not well.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
We'll have to, you know, look at something different. Whether
that's zevering our relationship, we'll modifying it or whatever it
may be. In the circumstance the ABC and to be
able to speak up takes a lot of courage a
lot of vulnerability, and so in my book there's a
whole chapter on learning how to speak out to learning
(36:12):
how to speak up so as we can meet our
needs and be free.
Speaker 4 (36:15):
Yes, we can be free.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
We can just take this, take the reins of our life,
be the leader of our life once we are the.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
Master of our mind.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Exactly so, and it takes as a whole chapter on
you could call it self care or whatever we want
to call it. It's a very important chapter because you know,
it's not being selfish to put yourself first.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
That may be what most people have to get. I
had to get used to because you feel, you know,
we're so programmed often to put ourselves last.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
I've got my kids, you know, I really want to
support my husband, or I want to support my you know,
I want to support my friends.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
And you have to feel your cup first.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
It doesn't work otherwise, it's like the steward's on the plane,
put your mask on before you help others. It's the
only only way, the only way. So yes, so following
your joy, working on self care so as you can
(37:27):
have those empowered conversations, taking the time each day to
stop and feel into your feelings and put boundaries in place,
and keep adjusting those boundaries. Those boundaries might, you know,
one boundary today might not be the boundary tomorrow. Keep
feeling into how you feel. Because our lives are dynamic.
(37:50):
Everything's in motion, you know, people, feelings, everything, everything's changing,
and so we have to be adaptable and flexible enough
to know, oh, well I felt okay yesterday, but today, no,
it's a different day. I woke up and this is
(38:11):
how it is. And well, I'm going to really feel
into I'm going to take that time out of my busyness.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
I'm going to feel into what. You know, some people
say what my inner child is wanting? You know what?
What what my true emotion? What's the truth? How I what?
I what I need?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
So, yes, that's why I hope that oh it does?
It does?
Speaker 1 (38:39):
I think that that's Those are great takeaways, I really do.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
And what are some of the services that you provide?
Speaker 4 (38:47):
So so.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
I am the best thing to do is to step
to hop on my website Elizabeth Jane dot com dot
a U and I must have been. I don't go
on to Facebook or Instagram. So I have a wonderful
lady Tess who puts up all my radio interviews. Radio
(39:11):
interviews usual only go for about ten minutes ten minutes,
and podcasts around the world. So I've been doing podcasts
thankfully at the stage, I'm a guest on other people's
podcasts rather than having to do the hard work that
Stacy has having her own podcasts, because I think that's
(39:34):
very much. You know, it has its own challenges and
so I really enjoy. So everything is on my Instagram
and my Facebook, which can be accessed through my website
Elizabeth Jane dot com dot au, as.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
Well as my book of Course and all future books.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
But my interviews and podcasts are all focusing on lifting
our lives so as we can fully step into our
authentic power, because it's really just once we can actually
(40:16):
tap into our truth and hold true on our truth, yes, well,
then our life becomes our own.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
And that's when the magic starts to happen.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Yes, Oh my goodness, this has been amazing, Elizabeth.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Thank you so much for coming on the show today.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
I just love you know, the topic you chose, and
you provided so much valuable information because there are so
many people out there that really want to experience their
authentic selves and they want to be happy and they
want to move on in life, and you know, sometimes
that could be very difficult, and I love how your
book breaks it up and makes it very you know,
(40:59):
into plistic terms so people can work on themselves and
really see, you know, a vast change in their overall
cells over time.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
So I just want to say, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
You took something from your own life that was truly
a hard moment in your own life. You overcame it,
You rose above those obstacles, and now you're helping others, so,
you know, thank you so much, so much for sharing
your story and then showing people how to overcome hardships
in their life.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
Oh, thank you, Stacy. Thank you for having me on.
And I'll be back, and yes, hopefully it might be
with another book, but whatever your listeners and viewers need,
I'll be back to see you.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Oh I look forward to it. Well, you have a
great day, Okay.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Thank you
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!