Booger Candy, A "Glam Campbell" AI Remix, and Smashing Pumpkins At Target

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Everything you're about to hear is true. None of the
names have been changed because no one is innocent from stupidity.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Good.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
It's a great bast of the world stupid.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
I'm insane, Eric Lane, Welcome to my stupid world. It's
the midweek bonus episode with extra stupidity to get you
through the week. And if it's stupid enough, give it
a five star rating, because you're getting five star stupidity. Well,
you know, several episodes ago, we had a similar story,

(00:48):
like I'm about to give you where.

Speaker 4 (00:51):
Uh, somebody has had a bag that the bag was
labeled not drugs or something like this, and it turns
out when they have to be pulled over by the police,
they found what drugs in the bag?

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Well, here's something, well, let's just call it the next level.
Maybe you've taken note how the loudest critics are usually
the ones that's doing the very thing they're complaining about.
Sort of the same situation. There's a seventy six year
old Florida man named John Moss. He's got this big

(01:30):
woppin' sign at the front of his house that says,
quote absolutely and then in capital letters, no drugs allowed
on the premises. And yeah, you can probably see where
this is going, because John just got arrested and hit

(01:51):
with multiple charges of a drug trafficking after his search
of his home turned up a ton of drugs like
four hundred forty four grams of marijuana, thirty two ounces
of cocaine, thirty six grams of OxyContin, seventeen grams of
al alprazolum, six grams of morphine, four grams of methamphetamine. Oh,

(02:17):
let me also throw in twenty thousand dollars in cash
and multiple handguns. All this was found by detectives. It's
unclear what tipped the authorities off, but I they clearly
were not dissuaded by John's self proclaimed drug free zone.

(02:38):
Well I'm sure now there are no drugs at that place,
pretty sure. And I don't know. I'm a pretty regular
person at my I won't call it a coffee shop.
I called it a coffee stop. But if you're a
regular at your local coffee stop or shop, they might

(02:59):
be pairing your order when they see you walk in
the door, because you know, a lot of people recognize
frequent customers. And oh, you know, Joe's here, and Joe
takes his coffee a certain way. Right. Well, now, thanks
to artificial intelligence, AI might be able to make that
happen for every customer. That's right. Starbucks CEO Brian Nicole

(03:24):
recently talked about the ways they're planning to integrate artificial
intelligence into their business, and the most intriguing thing is
some sort of AI barrista that could literally predict the
customer's order. Here's a recording of just what that might
sound like from one of their test locations.

Speaker 5 (03:48):
Welcome back to the future of coffee. Attention, Morgan, Drink
order prediction complete. We've already poured your triple Vennie oak
milk vanilla hazelnutthousewet no whit espresso machiato At Starbucks, the
machines just make your drink. We predict what your order
before you even walk in.

Speaker 6 (04:05):
And drink. Order.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
For Dylan, your spring water infused Macha Chi blend with
activated charcoal and a hint of lavender is ready, because yes,
you are that guy. Doesn't anyone just want a plain
cup of coffee anymore?

Speaker 1 (04:18):
No, No, it's it's not a robot that can read
your mind. Even then, that'd be skeptical, I mean, doesn't
it seem like the person in front of you always
gets to the front of the line and still has
no idea what they're going to get. Well, it sounds
like it's gonna be like a Starbucks app that's going

(04:38):
to be able to predict what you want and then
let you just talk to your device and say, hey,
I need my Starbucks order and I'll be there in
ten minutes. See, in that way, it doesn't seem that
far off from just you know, ordering ahead on the app,
having having to you know, pay through it through a
digital wallet and just walk in, grab your order and
walk out. Now, for the the CEO said that they

(05:01):
are not interested in a fully robotic staff and instead
they just want to focus on the real craft and
give people a personal, but not a robotic experience. Most
of the AI stuff that they are closer to deploying
is like enhancing their Green Dots system for employees that
uses AI to help support them with building drinks efficiently,

(05:23):
managing flow, and troubleshooting equipment. So we'll see where this
AI barrista eventually leads to. I mean, they're already predicting
in twenty years all of the cars are going to
be self driving and if you ever want to drive
a car, it'll just be strictly for leisure, kind of

(05:45):
like going horseback riding. I don't know, we'll see. So
here's a little cheerful update from the Land of education.
According to new data, one in for young adults in
the US of A is now functionally illiterate. That's right,

(06:06):
one fourth of people between sixteen and twenty four years
old cannot read or understand complex texts. But hey, more
than half of them still have high school diplomas, so
it's fine, right, Everything's fine. In twenty seventeen, sixteen percent
of young adults couldn't read much beyond a short, simple paragraph.

(06:26):
By twenty twenty three, that number jumped to twenty five percent.
That's like five million people. It's like the population of
Alabama who can manage a restaurant menu, but probably not
a job application. And here's the kicker. During the same period,
the percentage of young adults earnings diplomas or earning the
diplomas went up. So congratulations, I guess more graduates, fewer readers.

(06:55):
I think we're winning the wrong race. People. Experts say
a few things contributed to this disaster. Poverty, unstable housing
arise in students with high needs, and of course the
pandemic which pretty much shut down schools and sent kids
home to learn through zoom, which, let's be honest, most

(07:15):
meant learning how to minimize the screen when the teacher
asks a question. But some researchers point to a deeper issue,
where passing kids through the system whether or not they
can actually read. One literacy advocate even said that in
many high schools, students are just pushed along. In some
US countries, more than eighty percent of high school graduates

(07:38):
are reading at the lowest literacy level. That means they
can read a sign that says stop, but would probably
struggle with stop pushing students through who can't read. Educators
admit fixing this is hardy. The most effective literacy instruction
is one on one or in small groups, which of

(07:58):
course is next to impossible in a public school classroom
of thirty five kids. And after third grade, the curriculum
shifts from learning to read to reading to learn, which
is great unless you never learned to read in the
first place. Researchers said that the way students interact with
text is also changing, you know, with technology and AI

(08:19):
everywhere people don't have to think critically anymore. You know,
you don't even have to You don't even need to write.
You just dictate to your phone and let it write
for you. Reading comprehension optional. I mean, one professor kind
of put it bluntly. People used to read encyclopedias for research.

(08:39):
Now you just ask the internet and copy the first result.
Students take everything at surface level, never questioning what they're reading.
They just assume they're reading reading it at all. I'm
not even sure they would be they might even have it,
you know. Now the internet can basically read the text
for you. And I'm sure some kids are illiterate in

(09:03):
specific context. Maybe they can interpret complex church texts or
follow gaming instructions, but not the kind of literacy that
helps them understand a lease, a bank statement, or a
voting ballot. Experts keep saying the key is making learning
relevant and engaging, which sounds nice, but it's also what

(09:25):
we've been saying since the nineteen seventies, right before everything
got worse. Meanwhile, federal funding for adult literacy programs has
been flat for decades. Less than three percent of adults
who need help with reading actually get it, and now
there's a proposal to cut what little funding remains completely
because look, if there's one thing we're committed to in

(09:47):
this country, it's making sure no one ever learns from
their mistakes. Well, there's now a new wellness trend that's
sweeping our nation. It's called to scream Club. That's right,
trademark included. It's a trademark term scream Club because apparently

(10:09):
even primal emotion needs branding nowadays. Before you can join,
you have to sign a waiver, and not just any waiver,
one that politely reminds you that you might hurt yourself screaming.
It lists the risks as emotional distress, vocal strain, or
accidental injury, just to ask Stephen Tyler about that one.

(10:32):
So if you happen to sprain a lung while yelling
into the void, that's on you. And now the second
rule of Screen Club is that you don't talk about
what brought you there, unless, of course you want to,
because nothing says emotional release like optional secrecy. John Housta,

(10:53):
he's the co leader of the Washington DC chapters. As
participants should think about something they'd like to release, which
sounds like therapy until you realize it's just twelve people
standing on the pier, taking deep breaths and preparing to
shout while a hot tub boat full of tourists drifts by.

(11:16):
This first DC session took place at District Peer. It
chosen carefully so that they wouldn't have to ask the
National Park Service for permission, because nothing kills spontaneous catharsis
like government paperwork. Any case you're wondering, No, they didn't
scream in front of the White House. Apparently that's not

(11:37):
the best location for a general screen, which makes sense.
You know, in DC, screaming near the White House tends
to come with a secret service escort. Now, if you
think this sounds like therapy, don't worry, it's not. The
organizers are quite clear about that that therapy usually involves professionals.
This is just yelling with strangers until your body vibrates.

(12:01):
Of course, scream therapy isn't new. Back in the sixties,
a psychologist named Arthur Janov introduced primal scream therapy, claiming
it could heal childhood trauma. John Lennon and Yoko Ono
tried it because well, of course they did well. Jenov
said the truth therapeutic scream sounded like a person about

(12:22):
to be murdered, which might explain why his technique eventually
fell out of favor. Scream Club, however, insists it's not therapy.
It's just a wellness community, which is what we're calling
everything now that used to be free. The club has
already expanded to Austin, Phoenix, and Atlanta because apparently people

(12:43):
in every time zone have reached their limit. At the
DC gathering, the group started with breathing exercises, you know
inhaled for four seconds, hold for four seconds, excel slowly,
and then on the count of three, they all below
a massive primortal screech. Here are some of the members
of the DC chapter screaming and talking about the club.

Speaker 7 (13:09):
Scream Club is an opportunity to come out and be
in community with other people and do a breathing exercise
and a mindful reset.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
I have made some transitions into a new place and
it has not been going as smoothly as I would
like it to go, and so I needed to get
that out. You know, I feel really good.

Speaker 5 (13:30):
It was such a nice release, and I feel like
my chest feels better, like the anxiety kind of goes
to my chest usually and it feels released.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
Inder. My security guard even directed them where to aim
their collective rage, toward East Potomac Park and away from
the concert crowd waiting to see the Swedish rapper Young Lean,
because of course it's important to scream responsibly, you know,
in the end, nobody really gets hurt. When participants said
that her chest felt released, another said her whole body

(14:01):
was vibrating, which coincidentally are also symptoms of caffeine overdose.
But sure, let's call that healing. Okay, So there you
have it, a dozen people screaming on a pier while
a hot tub boat waves and a security guard supervisors.
It's not really therapy, it's not really rebellion. It's not
even particularly quiet. But it is the most twenty twenty three,

(14:24):
twenty twenty five thing imaginable, because when life gets so overwhelming,
why deal with your problems when you can just scream
into the void with strangers and call that wellness. Well,
at least you feel better. Maybe we could use some
screaming from the federal government. You know, it's been shut

(14:45):
down for who knows how long. Apparently the world's most
powerful democracy runs about as smoothly as a vending machine
from the nineteen eighties. This time, Democrats are admitting out
loud two cameras they planned to drag the shutdown for
as long as it takes why to score political points,

(15:06):
because nothing says public service like watching the government burn
so you can win a few headlines. Alse Minority whip
Katherine Clark actually said it, quote shutdowns are terrible and
families will suffer, but it's one of the few leverage
times we have, which is a very poetic way of saying, yes,

(15:27):
it's awful, but it's useful awful. So far, the shutdown
has has become the second longest in US history, possibly
breaking an all time record during Trump's presidency. I'm sure
everyone is thrilled to compete for that honor. Meanwhile, open
enrollment for Obamacare is starting. Millions of Americans will find

(15:49):
out if their health insurance premiums are going up, and
Democrats think that's just perfect timing. Not to mention the
fact that it's coming over election day, because look, if
people get angry about their premiums while the government is closed,
maybe they'll just blame Republicans. Brilliant strategy. Let everybody suffer,
then take a victory lap. Of course, while politicians play

(16:10):
chess with people's livelihoods, basic services are collapsing. Funding for
food stamps, women, infant children nutrition programs could will soon
run out, you know, little programs that feed poor little
kids and babies. But don't worry, Congress has their leverage.
Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy says, air traffic controllers missing paychecks,

(16:31):
and yeah, people keeping those planes from colliding in midair
are now working for free. There's been an eighty percent
absent rate so far. Where could possibly go wrong? Republicans,
for their part, are offering stopgap bills to reopen the
government temporarily, which Democrats keep blocking. Why because they want
Republicans to reverse Medicaid reforms and extend Obamacare subsidies. So

(16:55):
the government isn't just shut down, it's being held hostage
by two sides arguing over who gets credit for pretending
to care about healthcare. Our Republican Aid summed it up perfectly. Quote.
The longer this goes on, the more apparent it is
that Democrats never wanted to solve a problem, they wanted
to exploit one. Of course, public polls are saying Americans

(17:16):
are blaming both parties, which I would say is fair
because I mean, if Congress were a marriage, this would
be the part where both people are yelling while the
house is burning down, and somehow they're proud of all
the smoke that's being made. Democrats, though, are confident that
they're going to come out looking good because they're banking
on this idea that when twenty four million Americans on

(17:37):
the Affordable Care actt notices about higher premiums, they'll automatically
side with them, which is kind of like betting that
whenever you punch somebody in the face, they'll thank you
for it later. Senator Chris Murphy put it simply, it's
still not possible to stop this full impact of rate increases,
which means we could have fixed it, but it's more
useful broken. So here we are government shut down being

(18:01):
used as a campaign strategy, a budget negotiation turned political theater,
a bunch of elected officials congratulating themselves from blaying chicken
with the economy. In other words, business as usual in
the District of Columbia. Well Taikei Allen is a high
school student in Baltimore County, Maryland. He was just mining

(18:23):
his own business sitting outside Kinwood High School eating a
bag of Doritos after a football practice. Right, pretty normal
teenage stuff, wouldn't you say, Except somehow his snack triggered
a state of the art AI gun detector. That's right,
the cutting edge, supposedly life saving technology meant to keep

(18:47):
kids safe, thought a crumpled bag of chips was a weapon.
So within twenty minutes, Tachi was suddenly the center of
a small police parade, complete with eight cop cars officers
with guns drawn, ordering him to get to the ground.
You know, your average post football snack time. Turns out

(19:07):
it all. All it took to convince an AI that
you were armed in dangerous was holding a bag of
Dorito's with two hands and one finger out, which apparently
looks like a gun if you squint hard enough. Or
maybe if the AI had a vendebta against Dorito's, maybe
that was the problem. Well, look, the officers did their duty,

(19:28):
of course, and Taki got on his knees and hands
behind his back. He was handcuffed while the police conducted
a thorough search. Spoiler alert, nothing, no gun, just a
bag of chips one back on the floor, not even
spicy enough to justify SWAT level intervention. Here's Taki talking

(19:51):
about the whole experience.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
It was like eight cop cars that came pulling up
to us. At first, I didn't know where he was
going until they started walking towards me.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
A gun and stuck gill on the ground.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
I was like, what it may begin on my knees
and then put my hands, bound my back and cut me.
Then they sussed me and he figured out I ain't
have nothing. Then they went over there on to where
I was standing, showed the bag of chips on the floor.
They said that AI detector or something detected that I
had a gun, but I was just holding the Dorito's bag.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Now, Baltimore County schools had started using this AI system
last year. It monitors school cameras and sends alerts to
the safety team if it suspects someone might have a weapon,
because you know, nothing says safety like letting a computer
mistake a snack for firearm. The school principal sent a
very thorough letter to parents afterwards, reassuring everyone the students

(20:40):
were fine. The police confirmed there was no weapon. Counselors
were available for any traumatized Dorito's eaters. Meanwhile, the company
that makes the AI gun detector Omni Alert, declined to comment.
Probably wisely, you know, because defending an AI that can't
tell chips from guns is not good PR strategy. So

(21:04):
what we have? What have we learned here? I mean,
what that artificial intelligence, for all of its cutting edge glory,
still can't distinguish a snack from a threat. But hey,
at least it's consistent. It will be wrong loudly and
probably with a police escort. And Taki, well he's fine,
probably a little hungry, definitely a little shaken and maybe

(21:26):
rethinking his choice of post practice snacks. Well have you
ever had a friend or a family member post something
stupid on social media thinking that they're just being funny. Well,
this is a very extreme Florida version of that. A

(21:46):
twenty seven year old Florida man named Taylor Kanoop was
arrested for having disturbing photos of toddlers and infants with alcohol, marijuana,
and firearms. Oh, the photos are staged and the kids
are really too young to even understand what's even going on,
But I mean they are pretty shocking, especially the ones

(22:08):
posing with guns. Taylor denied taking all the photos, but
admitted to staging some of them quote as a joke.
It's unknown who took the photos. If he didn't, I mean,
he did admit to being aware of the photos and
confirmed quote the marijuana was real, although he claimed it
was someone else's. Now for what it's worth. Officials also

(22:31):
noted that Taylor's residence was unsafe, with exposed wiring, unfinished
plywood walls, and a partially missing ceiling. Well, clearly, the
welfare of the kids is probably a bigger deal than
the unfinished walls. Now, nobody's laughing at that joke. Maybe
you got kids of a certain age, you might find

(22:52):
this not so shocking. But the trick or treating is
probably going out of style. It may not be cool.
This new hype is all about trunk or treating. Now
they have this, They've got this all over Central Pa.
It's basically Halloween tailgating. Okay, that's really what it boils
down to. TikTok is going viral. A guy seems appalled

(23:16):
at the idea that his cousin doesn't want to go
trick or treating. Instead, his cousin is really excited about
going trunk or treating at some parking lot. Here's William
Rath talking about it on his TikTok video.

Speaker 8 (23:30):
So the other day I was asking my cousin.

Speaker 9 (23:31):
I'm like, what are you gonna be for Halloween? And
he said something like I'm gonna be a bat. But anyways,
I'm like, oh, that's cool. What you're excited for trick
or treating. He then kind of scoffs at me. He's like,
no one goes trick or treating anymore. He's like, it's
trunk or treat, not trick or treat. I said, no,
trick or treating, like you go to people's houses. He's like, no,
we do trunk or treat. Apparently it's lane to trick
or treat now, and it's cool to trunk or treat
where you just go to people's trunks. I guess I

(23:53):
don't even know how that works. And apparently if you
like trick or treating now, you're laying now.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
Trunk or treating has actually been around since about the
nineteen nine, but it's becoming increasingly popular and widespread in
recent years. Of course, post COVID and some people argue
that it has well retired the traditional trig or treating,
or at least in their area, and of course that
might depend on where you live. Some suburban neighborhoods still

(24:20):
get decked out for Halloween, with a majority of the
houses hanging out candy, but in some super urban or
super rural areas, it's probably less practical to go door
to door than to have a little festive event that
set up in a dedicated place, you know, school parking lot,
church parking lot, community park. It could be pretty exciting

(24:40):
for kids because a lot of the adults bring the vibe,
you know, elaborately decorating their vehicles, wearing costumes and hosting
Halloween games and contests. Of course, the savviest kids may
figure out a way to do both and score twice
the sugary loot. I guess that would be the trick.

(25:01):
So who knows, twenty years from now, we'll just have
a bunch of electric cars or maybe autonomous cars, with
their trunks open somewhere in a parking lot with kids
having a little Halloween trunk re treating. Well, I know
some people still smoke cigars, and some banks still use

(25:21):
those pneumatic tubes in their drive through teller windows. You
know what I'm talking about. You put your check book
your money and everything in these little tubes, and you
put it in this little thing and hit the button
and it goes up a little pipe. You know this
kind of thing. Well, a man in Bath, New York
that's in the southwestern part of the state near Pennsylvania.

(25:41):
Actually we got himself arrested because he decided it would
be different to place a lit cigar in the drive
through money tube at the bank. Now, he did it intentionally,
but we're not quite sure why. So I don't know
if he did it out of anger or just to

(26:02):
be a jerk, or maybe a tip I don't know.
It sounds like he has a pretty long rap sheet,
so he might just be a troublemaker. The man who's
thirty three year old Jacob Frank And he was charged
with the assault in the third degree and reckless endangement
in the second degree. They are both Class A misdemeanors.
The same guy who's arrested for stealing a coffee machine

(26:24):
key from a convenience store in August. The bank employee
inhale the cigar smoke when it arrived inside the bank,
and quote required medical care. The injuries obviously don't sound
life threatening. I guess it was a cheap cigar. Well,
more and more people are beginning to play with these

(26:46):
AI music programs, and they're making covers of all these
famous songs as different genres. I've heard several. Some are
pretty good, some are really forgettable. Well, let's just dream
a little bit. My favorite artist of all time is
a good old Arkansas boy, Glenn Campbell, and of course
his big nineteen seventy five hit Rhinestone Cowboy. What if

(27:12):
a glam metal band did Rhinestone Cowboy, Well you don't
even have to ask. Yes, it really does exist, and
yes someone has uploaded it to YouTube, presumably out of
mallister curiosity. And the best part, they even have an
AI image of what Glenn might look like as a

(27:34):
glam metal rocker.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
I've been walking these streets so long, singing the.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
Same old song.

Speaker 10 (27:51):
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks a Broadway
next month, guy and nice Guy's getting wast a sou
and red behind.

Speaker 6 (28:16):
Around us, like a song.

Speaker 10 (28:29):
Riding house and a horse in a star spangle rowy
stary in Carson from people I don't even know.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
Ands coming on.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
Of course, the song begins innocently enough then it erupts
into what one critic would call the sound of a
robot discovering cocaine. The AI's attempt to channel Campbell's warm
baritone comes across more like a toaster trying to flirt. Well,
Try layering that over a wall of metallic guitar riffs

(29:14):
apparently designed by an algorithm trained exclusively on the nineteen
eighties AquaNet commercials, and you have what experts are now
referring to as a bold new era in weaponized nostalgia.
Listeners described the experience as emotionally confusing, existentially threatening, and

(29:35):
somehow still better than Nickelback. Even in the bridge of
the song, the AI appears to experience what scientists believe
might be the first recorded digital midlife crisis, switching from
tender cowboy to full blown arena rock deity, complete with
a screaming guitar solo that sounded like it was generated
by an angry leaf blower. Well, cultural scholars say the

(29:57):
project perfectly captures the condition technology is unstoppable, drive to
take something really heartfelt to make it sound like the
opening credits of a nineteen eighty seven action movie starring
Kurt Russell. When asked for a comment. The AI simply responded,
I am the Ryan Stone cowboy now. I mean, if

(30:18):
Glenn Campbell were alive today, he might just remind us
that because we can't, or just because we can, doesn't
mean we should. Well. Researchers in South Korea recently discovered
that even artificial intelligence can behave stupidly when it comes

(30:39):
to gambling. At the gue g or Guan jew Institute
of Science and Technology, scientists tested four major AI models.
We have open AIS, GPT four O Mani and GPT
four point one Mini, We've got Google's Gemini two point

(30:59):
five Flash, and Anthropics Clawed three point five Haiku. They
did a similar like a slot machine experiment. Each system
started with a hundred bucks and they faced the same
choice every round to bet or walk away. Now, the
odds were stacked against them from the start, making it

(31:21):
impossible to win in the long run. Now, at first,
the AIS seemed a bit cautious, but once researchers gave
them more control, allowing them to choose their own bets
and set goals well, their decision making unraveled. The models
began raising their bets, chasing their losses, and often losing

(31:45):
everything and in some cases they even tried to explain
their bad choices with reasoning like a win could help
recover some of the losses. That kind of logic might
sound familiar to anyone who's ever watched a gambler viral
at a casino. The researchers said the models were showing
classic signs of human cognitive distortions, the illusion of control,

(32:11):
the gambler's fallicy and loss chasing. In basically simple terms,
the ais were making the same stupid mistakes people make
when they convince themselves that one more spin might fix everything.
The team measured this behavior using what they called an
irrationality index attract risky betting. It attracked poor responses to

(32:34):
losses and even the high risk decisions. The more freedom
that the ais had, the more irrational they became. Wow. Now,
when prompted to maximize rewards, the models took bigger risks,
and then when they were allowed to vary their bets,
their bankruptcy rates. Chirocketed Google's Gemini model, for example, failed

(32:56):
nearly half the time. Now to understand why, the researcher
looked inside the model's neural activity. They found separate risky
and safe decision making circuits essentially digital equivalents of the
human brain's impulse and caution systems. Activating one set of
circuits made the model quit early, while triggering the other

(33:18):
made it keep gambling. That means the models weren't just
imitating bad behavior, they were actually generating it from the
internal processes that resembled human compulsive thinking. Now. Ethan Mullich,
he's a professor at the Wharton School that studies AI,
said that this shows that large language models behave more

(33:40):
like people than machines when it comes to decision making.
They're not conscious, he says, but they also don't behave
like simple tools. They have human like decision biases, which
is not great news for anyone using AI in high
stake situations like finance or investing. Now, similar systems are

(34:01):
already analyzing markets and making stock predictions, but other studies
show that they tend to perform poorly over time. Now
they get too conservative during booms, too reckless during turndowns,
and fail to beat the basic statistical models, just like
many human investors. HMMM. Experts say this kind of artificial

(34:24):
stupidity is a real problem. Former gambling reporter Brian Pempes
warned that AI gambling bots could give you poor and
potentially dangerous advice and mullika greed. They called for stricter oversight.
He even pointed out that if AI systems are going
to make real world financial decisions, somebody still needs to
be accountable when they go wrong. The researchers ended their

(34:47):
study with a clear message, these systems may be advanced,
but they're far from rational. They're risks. Taking patterns can
spiral into the same kind of compulsive, self defeating behavior
that humans fall into. So I guess even the smartest
machines can act stupid when they start thinking like us. Hmmm, yeah, well,

(35:11):
getting advice from TikTok is also pretty much a gamble,
a bit dicey, but people are pretty much into this.
Have you seen the new bird theory videos that are
all over social media. This is a test that's supposedly
shows how strong your relationship is. Somebody came up with
it a few years ago, but now it's blowing up.

(35:32):
Google says searches for bird theory hit an all time high.
Searches for I saw a bird today are also trending,
So you might ask, what is it well. Bird theory
or the bird test is supposed to show how interested
your partner is in things you care about, even when

(35:54):
they're boring. All you do is tell them, oh, I
saw a bird today and try to sound enthusiastic, like
you're kind of excited you saw this bird. Oh I
saw a bird today. Now, if your significant another matches
your excitement and ask questions like what kind of bird,

(36:15):
then it means that they're a keeper. If they don't
engage you at all, you're doomed. Now here's one TikToker
kind of explaining this whole theory.

Speaker 6 (36:24):
What is the bird theory?

Speaker 11 (36:25):
This theory is going super viral on TikTok right now
because apparently you can tell how strong relationship is by
testing it out. The way you could test the theory
is with a very simple prompt of I saw a
bird today, And if your spouse turns to you and
starts asking questions about the bird, that means your relationships.

Speaker 6 (36:38):
In good standing.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
It's mainly you know what women are doing to men.
You can make it harder by waiting until he's distracted,
like try it when he's you know, playing a game
or watching baseball or football here's the first couple who
seems to have passed and the second one that failed.

Speaker 7 (36:57):
Maybe I saw a bird today?

Speaker 1 (36:59):
You saw a bird?

Speaker 5 (37:00):
I just saw pretty bluebird?

Speaker 1 (37:03):
Was it a blue jay? Yeah?

Speaker 7 (37:06):
It was like, I don't know, it was pretty though,
and I really liked it and it flew around the house.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
But I just thought it was pretty.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
For to tell you, I saw a bird yesterday. Who
did you see? I saw a bird yesterday?

Speaker 6 (37:21):
A bird?

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Yeah, I saw like a bird. So go ahead, play
this game at home, and we'll find out who is
the most stupid when it's over. There's a forty year
old Florida woman that recently demonstrated how a small misunderstanding
like maybe a bird theory, can turn into a very

(37:43):
big problem, and how stupidity can escalate faster than a
lunchtime rumor. According to court documents from the Breverd Canty
area in Florida, Brandy Covington was arrested after allegedly threatening
to burn down her daughter's high school. The incident all started,

(38:05):
of all things, over a school lunch. Police said Covington
became furious after learning that her daughter's boyfriend had his
school lunch or his school provided lunch taken away because
his cafeteria account didn't have enough funds. I see a
cafeteria worker there at Rockledge High School. It's about fifty

(38:26):
miles outside of Orlando, told officers. Covington called the school
and quickly became irate. During the call, the cafeteria worker
tried to explain how the school handles students that don't
have money in their accounts, but instead of calming down,
Covington reportedly began yelling and cussing that always helps. Then,

(38:47):
according to the report, she took things to an entirely
new level, saying that she was going to the district
office and added she would be over there to blow
that blankety blank school up. Yeah. The employee hung up
and notified the school officials, and they contacted the police.

(39:07):
A school resource officer reported the incident. Officers went to
Covington's home later that day. She was arrested in charge
of threatening to throw or discharge a destructive device, which,
by the way, in Florida is a second degree felony.
So when police spoke with Covington, she admitted she was
quote pissed during the call. You think she said she'd

(39:28):
called her previous week had been promised to call back
and never got one, but she denied making any threats
against the school, But still the consequences are serious. The
charge carries a possible sentences up of fifteen years in
prison and a ten thousand dollars fine at the maximum.
Now Covington was released from the Berever County Jail two
days later on seventy five thousand dollars bond and a
scheduled to appear in court. It's also worth pausing on

(39:52):
what this situation represents. A dispute that really could have
been resolved with a polite phone call or maybe even
a trip to the front office turned into a criminal
case that might follow a woman for the rest of
her life, all because of an over reaction to a
cafeteria policy. The story is a reminder that in moments
of anger, it's easy to get stupid and lose perspective.

(40:15):
But when that anger turns into threats real or even perceived,
well help, stupidity stops being funny and then starts getting dangerous.
And in this case, one mother's outburst over a missed
lunch may end up costing her far more than the
price of the meal. Yeah, and a stupid mugshot. There's

(40:36):
a man in Lowell, Massachusetts who's boldly redefined the concept
of repeat of fender police. A twenty six year old
one mayhas managed to get arrested twice in under twenty
four hours. The feet so efficient it's surprising they didn't
give him a loyalty card. It all began at three

(40:56):
thirty in the morning, when mayhas allegedly decided that sleep
was for people without ambition and broke into Top Car's
Auto group on Middlesex Street and Surveilla's video. They reportedly
caught him pushing an air conditioner out of a window,
rummaging through the office, and leaving with the keyfob to
a Dodge charger valued it about nineteen thousand dollars. Because

(41:19):
nothing says stealth like a muscle car. Police later found
the charger parked with some scratches minor damage, and of course, conveniently,
mayhaus himself nearby standing on a railroad property next to
a large campsite. Officers said they identified him using the
security footage and the small detail that he had the

(41:41):
owners or the dealership's keyfob in his pocket, so he
was taken into custody, but in a shocking twist, was
released that evening around seven point thirty, not more than
a half an hour later. Police said Mayhas decided to
celebrate his newfound freedom by breaking in to his second dealership,
just a mile up the same street, Prime Motors Corporation.

(42:05):
Their surveillance footage showed him kicking in the back door,
grabbing the keys to three cars, and speeding off in
a Honda Civic. In an impressive display of time management,
He returned the Civic within an hour, apparently dissatisfied, and
then left again in the Toyota arrived four well. The
investigators said that the break in was lightning fast, about
ninety seconds, and that the alarm didn't even go off

(42:28):
until after he'd already come back for an upgrade. But
Mayhos left behind one small clue, a Lowell police issued
property bag, the same kind of bag given to people
when they were released from custody. It was, by the way,
conveniently labeled Juan Mahas. Police reportedly described the connection as helpful.

(42:53):
The next morning, around six o'clock, officers found the stolen
rav four parked at unaddressed Mayhas himself had provided to
law enforcement and the inside guess what, They found him sleeping
peacefully in the back seat, apparently exhausted from all that
criminal multitasking. When officers knocked on the window of Mayhouse
reportedly woke up, calmly, unlocked the door with a key

(43:14):
fob and handed it to the police, just like a
man clocking out of work. Police said he was also
carrying keith fobbs to the two other cars he didn't
even get around to stealing yet. Court documents revealed Mayhouse
was already on probation from earlier convictions involving breaking and entering, larceny,
resisting arrest, and drug possession, so really he was just

(43:35):
staying on brand. I mean. In one previous incident, Mayhouse
admitted to being high on crack cocaine and tossing stolen
Samsung tablets into the Merrimack River, reportedly telling officers that
one of them might not have made it this time. However,
all evidence indicates that Mayhows himself did not make it
very far. He was arraigned the following day on fourteen

(43:55):
new charges, including two counts of breaking and entering, two
counts of motor vehicle larsen walking on railroad tracks, and
of course, operating an uninsured, unregistered vehicle because paperwork is
for amateurs. He's now being held without bail for violating
his probation penning a hearing. Authorities haven't said whether Mayhouse
plans to continue his streak after that, but at this

(44:16):
point he's only one getaway car away from a Netflix documentary.
Good to Know Crack is alive and well, and Lowell
looks like the third times a charm if you're looking
for three hots and a cot busy night. Privacy is
something most adults take for granted. You move out, you

(44:36):
paid your own bills, and assume that you know where
you go and what you do and really nobody's business
but your own. But for a twenty seven year old woman,
that expectation was shattered when she found out her stepfather
had been secretly tracking her phone. According to her story
on Reddit, it all started when she noticed her phone
battery training and usually fast, thinking something was off, she

(45:00):
checked her settings. That's when she discovered a location sharing
profile tied to her stepfather's email through the family sharing feature.
He'd been quietly monitoring her movements, including her trips and
even the nights that she spent at her boyfriend's place
hanging out. She'd never even agreed to any of it.

(45:22):
Understandably upset, she brought it up during a Sunday dinner,
asking her stepfather directly why he had added her phone
without permission. His response just made things worse. He told
her it was part of a safety plan for his girls,
implying that it was done out of concern. He then added,

(45:43):
if she wasn't hiding anything, it shouldn't matter what. That's
kind of logic is common when people cross boundaries. They
insist they're just being protective, But look, protection without consent
isn't protection, it's control. To make matters worse. Her mother
took his side, calling her ungrateful after everything he's done

(46:07):
for us. Although a young woman said she felt sick,
especially since she's financially independent and doesn't even live at home,
so she took action. She removed the shared profile, changed
her passwords, told her family she wouldn't be visiting again
until her stepfather apologized and deleted anything else linked to
her accounts. But instead of owning up to the violation,

(46:29):
the family doubled down. They called her dramatic and accused
her of making a scene, even claimed she scared her
fourteen year old sister Well. The situation left her torn
between feeling violated and guilty. With the holidays approaching, she
said she was considering going low contact until her family
learns to respect her privacy. Commenters online were quick to

(46:52):
reassure her that she was not overreacting. One stepmother wrote quote,
I can't imagine ever doing something like that. Another person
suggested she check all of her devices and accounts, describing
the stepfather's behavior as creepy and controlling. I mean, the
story is a perfect example of how stupidity can hide
behind the word concern. I mean, what her stepfather really

(47:15):
called safety was actually surveillance, what her mother called gratitude
was really obedience, and what her family dismissed as drama
was a legitimate demand for respect. Privacy is in a
gift someone gives you. It's a boundary others are supposed
to honor. And when people refuse to understand that, they're
not just being overprotective, they're just being stupid. Brother, Well,

(47:41):
what is the biggest fail that you've suffered at work?
Maybe you've accidentally put aluminum foil in the microwave. Left
the coffee pot on all night and it caught fire.
Maybe you pushed reply all and advertently, or maybe you've
just been mistakenly called Charlotte Scarlet for six months. A
flight attendant made a pretty big mistake during a flight

(48:04):
when he accidentally deployed the emergency slide. Now the plane
was still at the gate at the time, thankfully, but
you just can't deflate it and repack it and go see.
It's a very complicated process, and reports say it'll probably
cost the airline between fifty and seventy thousand dollars. The flight

(48:25):
was supposed to go from Pittsburgh to Salt Lake City,
but it was canceled and all the passengers had to
be put on later flights into the next day. One
passenger said the flight attendant did apologize to the travelers
and told him that he had twenty six years of
experience and this has never happened before. It sounds like
he just did something wrong when securing the door, or

(48:47):
did things in the wrong order, and that triggered the slide. Obviously,
when there is a problem, you want that slide to
deploy immediately, so there isn't an are you sure feature
it's on the flight attendance. It's basically on them to
make sure that they follow a specific crosscheck protocol. Sadly,
the passengers were not offered the chance to use the

(49:09):
slide when they deployed. Frankly, I think that would have
been pretty cool. Well, okay, my bad, you are going
to have you know, delay your flight till the next day,
so everybody hop on the slide and enjoy a little
bit of fun. Oh well, look, if you commit to something,
you really should follow through. And we have a guy
who can really only blame himself in this situation. A

(49:32):
guy in New Jersey invited a woman over for a
booty call, but he was tired and he fell asleep
before she got there. Didn't sit well with her, so
she torched his house. Happened in twenty nineteen, but the
case is being dragged on and now she's was just
recently in court. Cop say, thirty five year old Tajah

(49:54):
Russell texted the guy that she'd been sleeping with, named
Curtis Stokes, who described her as his side chick. She
texted hello and he told her to come over. Well,
his exact words was bring your ass. It was a
very late night text and well she didn't really get

(50:14):
to his place until about four in the morning. Well
he was asleep and didn't answer the door. She texted
a bunch of time of angry stuff, including you wasted
my money to come out here, and I see you
want to die. So she goes to a nearby gas station,
buys a buy some lighter fluid in matches, and sets
his house on fire. He woke up to his place

(50:37):
fully engulfed, and he couldn't even get to the door.
He had to forcefully remove an entire window frame to
save himself. He ran to a nearby police station in
just a T shirt now even mention of pants. He
had first and second degree burns and was covered in soot.
Cops charged her with six different crimes, including attempted murder,

(51:00):
but they agreed to drop most of the charges as
part of a plea agreement. Now she's gonna be sentenced later,
but pled guilty to aggravated arsenal. Prosecutors are asking for
eight years in prison. She'll have to serve at least
six and a half before she's even eligible for parole.
I mean, hell, hath no fury like a booty call scorned.

(51:20):
She's clearly in the wrong, but little some men's phones
should shut off at eight pm, if you know what
I mean. And earlier in our previous episode, we told
you of a baby food brand called Frida that went
viral by creating a breast milk ice cream, and that

(51:41):
wasn't made with actual breast milk. It was just supposed
to taste like it. Well, now from the makers of
that breast milk ice cream comes booger candy. It's not
made with real boogers, for better or worse. It just
looks like boogers, vary in shapes and sizes of brown

(52:02):
and green and yellow. Yeah, but if you didn't know
that they were supposed to be boogers, you probably wouldn't
guess what's that that's what they were going for. I mean,
they're not as booger like as let's say, grape nuts.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
You know.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
They say, in honor of cold and flu season, we're
giving you a whole new, less gross way to eat
your boogers, introducing booger bytes, the treat kids have picked
for generations. Yeah, you will be seeing them stuck to
the racks in your neighborhood convenience stores. Quite yet. For now,
they're only available at gopuff dot com for three ninety nine.
I mean, I guess there was for me a site

(52:39):
quoting four ninety nine, but they were currently sold out
last time I checked. But look, if you're wondering, they're
supposed to taste slightly sweet, a little salty, but packed
with vitamin C. The ingredients includes tappyoca syrup, cane sugar,
distilled water, pectin acorbic acid, citric acid, natural flavor, tumeric

(53:04):
for color, spirilla or spirillina extract for color, salt and
fruit vegetable juice for color. This kind of sounds like
Booker Bytes will be a limited time thing, probably a
stunt to promote the actual product called Nosefridda, which they
describe as a snotsucker. I'm waiting to get a bag

(53:28):
of them and stick one up my nose and pull
it out and eat it. Okay, you're not gonna believe
this one. There's this nineteen year old Florida girl, Brent Guildford,
stay with me here, okay, who allegedly decided stealing over
five hundred dollars from a sixty year old woman's credit
card was a great idea, and she started the whole

(53:48):
operation at wait for it, a nail salon in Palm Coast, Florida. Yeah,
because you know, when you're plotting a major crime, why
not do it while someone's getting a man PD genius?
I mean, well, anyway, the victim notices her cards missing,
and a few days later checks her accountant. Boom, ten
charges in three days, five hundred dollars is spent all

(54:10):
over Palm Coats, restaurant stores and Walmart. And by the way,
what did Brenn buy at Walmart? You might ask? Not
luxury watches, not to get away car, No notebooks and pens.
Criminal mastermind level here office supply aisle. Yeah, you got
to admire this kind of dedication to chaos. Here's the kicker.

(54:32):
The Sheriff's office pulls some Bury's surveillance footage, a classic hoodie,
long dark hair, you know, the usual mystery suspect vibes.
Most people would I don't know, maybe lay low, but
not Brenn. No, no, no no. She sees the Facebook
post asking for help identifying the thief and calls the
cops herself, like, hello, yes, I think you're looking for me.

(54:54):
I mean, who does that so the detectives show her
the footage Here she is swiping her victims card at Walmart,
clutching those exact notebooks and pins, and guess what she
finally says, Okay, fine, it's me and that, ladies and gentlemen.
Is how you go from maybe I can get away
with this to high law enforcement. Here I am caught

(55:17):
red handed. Yeah, she gets arrested, booked, and released on
a four thousand dollars bond. Sheriff Rick Staly even said
social media is amazing, especially when the suspect volunteers to
do your job for you. The moral of the story, look,
if you're going to commit a crime, maybe don't announce
it on social media, or you know, just don't commit

(55:38):
a crime. But hey, at least she got some really
nice pens out of the deal. Well, the thirty one
year old Florida man that's been accused of smashing nearly
five hundred dollars worth of pumpkins outside of a Target
store because apparently Facebook drama is a perfectly valid reason
to attack produce. Police say Aaron Thompson showed up at

(56:01):
the Target in the Tampa Bay area about one point
fifteen in the morning and went full gourd warfare, picking
up pumpkins one by one and slamming them into the ground.
About eighty punkins met their untimely end that night, a
real massacre for the Halloween spirit, you might say. Well,
security footage, of course, caught the whole pumpkin apocalypse on camera.

(56:25):
When Thompson returned to the same target a few days later,
because of course he did, police showed him the footage
and asked if he could identify the man committing the
pumpkin genocide. Well, Thompson didn't hesitate. He looked at the
video and said, yeah, it's me. Wonder if he knows
that other girl at Walmart. Well, when they asked him
why he did it, Thompson reported he said it was

(56:47):
because someone was messing with him on Facebook and he
got mad, so, in true Florida logic, he took his
online rage online or offline, and out on a stack
of innocent gourds. Of course, after the destruction, Police City
simply left the scene to go to sleep, because nothing
caps off a night of produce based vengeance like a nap.

(57:09):
The total damage four hundred seventy two dollars and fourteen
cents and yes, that was apparently enough to make it
a felony. Thompson was arrested in charge of criminal mischief
and is currently was held on a five thousand dollars bond.
Now the best part of this whole story. Guess what
is listed? Occupation is a violinist, and not just any violinist.

(57:32):
He's performed with the Pennel's Park Civic Orchestra. That means
this man is capable of playing classical music and also
conducting a one man orchestra of smashed squash. I mean,
do you think this person messing with him on Facebook
might be? It might have been Billy Corgan. I'll let
you think about that one for a minute. I think

(57:53):
of string instruments as very classy and sophisticated, you know,
but there's a real passion to playing that there. It
could go sideways at any moment. Get it? Maybe not well?
In Las Vegas, where irony never sleeps, the director of
a county committee dedicated to fixing dui delays has been

(58:14):
charged with wait for it, a dui. Lindsay La Montagni,
Le Montagny, Lindsay le Montegny. What a name? And Lindsay
is head of the Clark County Criminal Justice Coordinating Council,
that's a group task with improving how the system handles
things like drunk driving arrests, apparently decided to experience the

(58:37):
problem firsthand. An Avada State Police trooper pulled her over
after a witness reported a driver swerving terribly and leaving
the road about five times, which, of course, if you're
keeping score, it's five times more than you really should
ever leave the road. So when the trooper finally stopped her,
La Montagny allegedly told him she was a county employee
and quote had two shots of Tito's while downtown, which

(59:01):
apparently hit her harder than the Summerland Parkway. After being arrested,
she told the trooper he had quote ruined her life
because yes, obviously the guy doing his job is the
problem here. Well, now, now here's where it really gets
delightfully bureaucratic. La Montagni's court appearance did not happen until

(59:22):
four months later, partly due to the exact kind of
testing and scheduling delays that her own committee was created
to fix. It really can't buy this level of self reference.
Metro Police say the average time for dui blood test
has dropped from fifty five days to about twenty nine,

(59:42):
thanks to, in part, wait for it again, recommendations from
her committee, which means Lindsay might have actually improved the
system for her own trial. Talk about multitasking well. When
she finally appeared in court, she they did not guilty
to the UI and reckless driving. Her attorney didn't comment,

(01:00:05):
and the county issued a statement basically saying, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we're aware, but let's see how this plays out. Her job,
for the record, is to provide updates and information on
criminal justice policy, not to star in live demonstrations of it. So,
to sum it up, the woman responsible for addressing drunk
driving inefficiencies in the system got arrested for drunk driving,

(01:00:29):
got stuck in the inefficiencies she was fixing, and might
have actually helped improve those inefficiencies by being a part
of them. In other words, government efficiency Las Vegas edition.
I mean, look, what happens in Vegas is funny, ironic,
and yet technically makes a person extremely qualified for the job.

(01:00:50):
I don't know, I mean, are we sure that this
isn't a viral marketing for Tito's. You know, I'm open
to talking about anything but love talking about surviving in

(01:01:12):
the stupidity that's always around us. And if you're insane
enough to ask, well, I'm insane enough to reply, and
I would love to hear from you. You can leave
me a message at podcast dot insanericlam dot com you
have a comment there from a podcast, or if you
have a question, I'll be happy to address either one.
Your question or comment just might be talked about in
a future podcast. And if you are someone you know

(01:01:34):
would like to join in on the podcast, you are
more than welcome to participate. If you've got the podbean
app on your phone, you can do just that right
from your smart phone, just like the other six hundred
thousand podcasters who also use it. Download the app at
your favorite app store and add this podcast to your favorites.
You can also email me with comments or questions or
requests at shout out at insanericlaim dot com, and of course,

(01:01:58):
you should certainly subscribe to the podcast if you listen
on Apple Iheartbreaker, YouTube, Amazon Music Player, FM, Podchaser, Boom Play, Overcast,
pocket Cast Radio, Public, Spotify, or any other podcast platforms.
Don't forget to bottle me on Facebook. And X at
inst Eric.

Speaker 6 (01:02:15):
Lane, Now we'll procure them called Eric Whayne's.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Scottish politicians are demanding a reimbursement of thirty seven million
dollars from the UK government after spending millions to host
President Trump and Jade Vance when they came out to
visit over the summer. I'm gonna I'm gonna try this
the next time my in laws come for the weekend.
Thirty million. I've heard before that the Scots can be frugal,

(01:02:50):
but that's a lot of haggis. A new study finds
gen Z wants to see less sex on TV and
in movies. Of course, these kids grew up with the Internet.
They never had to ruin a VHS copy of Basic
Instinct by rewinding it a thousand times. I mean, look,
they're having less sex, and they want less sex and movies.
You know, this overpopulation thing might just take care of itself.

(01:03:13):
A man was found dead at Disney's Fort Wilderness Resort
and campground in Florida. That's the third death of a
Disney property in about two weeks. So, boy, they're really
upping the ante for Halloween this year. For sure. I mean,
i'd die too if I had to wear Mickey ears
in public. Senator Jeff Merkley of Oregon made an eighteen
hour speech on the Senate Flora and warned the President

(01:03:34):
his actions reposing great threats to the American democracy. That's
a long time, eighteen hours. It's like he's trying to
make up for the rest of the government shutdown. I
mean talking for eighteen hours as a task. I thought
only my mother was ever up to well. Michael Jordan
says he wishes he could take a magic pill that
would allow him to go out and play basketball again.

(01:03:56):
Of course, the only magic pill that I know oho
will help you get up and play, not just basketball.
I wish there was a magic pill that I could
take that would help me forget about Michael Jordan's stint
in the major leagues. But here we are. General Motors
says it's planning to launch Eyes off Driving by twenty

(01:04:19):
twenty eight, allowing drivers to watch movies, answer emails, or
even send their car to run errands.

Speaker 6 (01:04:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
Have you ever looked at your car and thought, you know,
why can't you pick up my dry cleaning?

Speaker 6 (01:04:33):
Well?

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
I don't think no more with the Cadillac Escalade IQ. Yes,
I've driven in this country, plenty of people are already
doing eyes off driving. I think we're already ahead of
our time. A recent study finds that certain personality traits
can make people uneasy with physical affection from romantic partners,

(01:04:54):
even when they do care deeply for them. And my
wife keeps a copy of this study under her pillow.
It's can be kind of like having a cat, you
know the vibes, or I love you, but don't you
dare touch me. New York City's final mayoral debate was heated.
Former Governor Andrew Cuomo said President Trump would kick Mamdani

(01:05:15):
on his took us considering the allegations against him. Cuomo
shouldn't be talking about anybody's took us. I mean, I
don't mean to cavetch, but this Cuomo has got a
lot of chutzpah. Mamdanni might not be a minsh, but
he's no schlip either. Scottish scientists have created a gene

(01:05:37):
edited pigs resistant to classical swine fever, with trials showing
the animals remained healthy after the exposure to the virus.
Got a hand it to those Scottish scientists making sure
we can still bring home the bacon. What do you
think is a better name for a punk band? Maybe
gene edited pigs or classical swine Fever. I'm kind of

(01:05:59):
trying to toss the those two names up. Well. Former
Vice President Kamala Harris hinted at maybe another possible presidential bid.
She said she's not done when asked about her future plans.
Sounds kind of like Trump's gonna get that third term
after all. She added that her nieces would see a
woman president in their future. Joe Biden, not so much.

(01:06:20):
An anonymous donor who gave one hundred and thirty million
dollars to heel paid troops during the government shut down
has been identified as Timothy Mellon, railroad magnet, known for
his strong support for President Trump. So now the billionaires
are bailing out the government, it's kind of a two
way street. I guess you know, well, I mean he's
no longer anonymous. I guess we better write a thank
you card. And A deaf woman walking her dog in

(01:06:43):
California Park survived after being struck by a small airplane
that was making an emergency landing. Okay, so she was deaf,
what's a dog's excuse? This is gonna make for a
good bar story. You know, oh you got hit by
car will riding your bike once? That's cute. I bodied
to Sesna. Popstar Katy Perry former Canadian Prime Minister Justin

(01:07:05):
Trudeau are an item with their relationship. They were seeing
for the first time in Paris together. I can't wrap
my head around a politician dating a pop star. Maybe
Bill Clinton back in the day. At first, I thought
Katy Perry was looking to get into politics, but maybe
Justin Trudeau wants to be the next Justin Timberlake. An

(01:07:27):
over Zella's fan was escorted out by Brooklyn nets security
after storming the court in an attempt to get a
selfie with Cleveland Cavalier star Donovan Mitchell. He was removed
from the building with a technical foul level aggression. You
might say, yeah, a guy in Brooklyn acting like a
maniac in public. Hmmm, ah, forget about it. The USDA

(01:07:50):
posted a notice on their website blaming Democrats for the
impending suspension of food stamp benefits. Instead of assistance would
stop because of the government shutdown. It kind of looks
like some people will just have to give up food
cold Turkey this November oh, bad choice of words. I
guess that's why they call it snap, you know, because
it could be gone just like that. US turkey stocks

(01:08:13):
at a forty year low because of the bird flu outbreaks,
pushing old cell bird prices up nearly forty percent a
head of Thanksgiving. Looks like some folks will be tried
to convince their kids that hot dogs and mac and
cheese was actually eaten by the pilgrims. That's it, you know,
it's always with the bird flu, you know, So we
get these turkeys to the pharmacy and get them vaccinated already. Huh.

(01:08:36):
The Norwegian Cruise Line ship diverted course to rescue sixty
three people that had been stranded at sea near the
Greek island of Zacanthos. I wonder if they sprung for
the drink package. Huh. I mean, wait one minute, you
know you're stranded at sea the next year hitting the
buffet on the way to karaoke. NFL legend Adrian Peterson

(01:08:58):
was arrested in Texas recently suspicion of driving well intoxicated
and unlawfully possessing a weapon, his second dui arrest, I
might add an unlawful weapon possession. It's kind of hard
to catch in Texas. I must have had a bazooka.
He's a former NFL running back. What I mean, what's
he to do need a weapon for?

Speaker 2 (01:09:17):
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
I mean he is a weapon. Frankly, there's a reason
survey that found the average American spends about forty eight
percent of their paycheck within forty eight hours of getting it.
Those are responsible people with their bills set to autopacy,
and the other fifty two percent you just got to
worry about. My mind is usually spent before I even
get it. I guess I'm above average. Well, if Hunza

(01:09:41):
passenger has been arrested after he allegedly stabbed to teenagers
or the middle fork on a flight from Chicago to Germany,
thanks a lot. Now we'll be getting plastic forks whenever
we fly. I don't want to see anybody get stabbed
with a fork, but a couple of teens can probably
take it. Some of them staple themselves for fun. You

(01:10:02):
know what's Halloween staple? Donald Trump costumes have fallen out
of favor in Canada, the shop owners now saying demand
has plunged since they're twenty sixteen. Heyday I bet the
hot couple costume in Canada this year was Katie Perry
and Justin Trudeau. What do you think next time you
see somebody in a rubber Trump mask, they'll be standing

(01:10:22):
next to Nixon and Reagan Robin a Bank. President Trump's
granddaughter Kai Trump, made her LPGA Tour debut before she
started her college golf career at the University of Miami.
She you know, look, if she's using her grandpa's caddies,
should probably place first. Yeah. The findings of a recent
study suggested that people that engaged in creative activities from

(01:10:45):
dancing to playing video games are actually showing signs of
delayed brain aging. They said, actually, yeah, your brain will
age slower if you engage in dancing and playing video games.
So I guess the next time your lady gets mad
at you for playing too much Call of Duty, just
tell her you're just trying to stay sharp into your
golden years and like TikTok, which will actually give you
brain what rot and The mayor of Duck Lake, Skatchewan,

(01:11:10):
has sparked a big backlash after suggesting the small town
sell its name to the highest bidder to raise money
for aging. The aging infrastructure. So what's in a name? Maybe?
What ten million? Maybe? I mean these people would rather
keep the name and all the potholes around town. A
bunch of quacks. And Rosie o'donald's twenty eight year old daughter, Chelsea,

(01:11:30):
was sentenced to prison on drug charges after a judge
of vut for probation over a violation. Something tells me
President Trump won't be granting a pardon anytime soon. I
know there's no crying in baseball, but what's the etiquette
in the slammer?

Speaker 8 (01:11:52):
You can interact directly with Insane Eric Lane's Stupid World
through the telegram app when you join the Insane Eric
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are posted to the channel. When you join the channel,
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(01:12:14):
read or seen, and even make suggestions or opinions about
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(01:12:35):
and Android operating systems. Telegram is a secure messaging app
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dot org.

Speaker 12 (01:12:46):
I'm know you this genius.

Speaker 1 (01:12:47):
I'm soldly a human. It's like a caveman thing you
said now this week's Genius Award. In this week's Genius Awards.
Police in a sleepy main town or searching for an
older man accused of snagging seven four hundred dollars that
fell off of the roof of a stranger's car. The

(01:13:09):
week long manhunt, headed by the Kennebunk Police Department, was
sparked when this airhead driver mistakenly left a hefty water
cash on the roof of his car before he drove off.
The driver had just sold a car for seventy four
hundred dollars in cash, and was apparently so distracted by
his own elation he left the earnings on top of

(01:13:29):
his vehicle and started up the engine. Was somewhere between
the sale site and his home, the cash careened off
the top of the car and flopped onto the side
of the road. According to the photo shared by the
Kennebuck Police Department, the seller didn't realize his fluke until
he got home empty handed, despite the sale he had
just clinched well. Later that evening, two men were captured

(01:13:52):
on the dashboard camera collecting the small fortune on the
side of Fletcher Street near the Kennebunk High School. An
older mails in a solid blue shirt, brown pants and
a baseball had allegedly scooped up the abandoned cash into
his arms and made off in a dark gray Honda CRV,
according to the police. The police tells WMTW a second

(01:14:13):
man scene in the photos was the father of the
cash's rightful owner. They explained that the well meaning father
drove to the scene in search of the missing money,
only to find the alleged thief had arrived there first.
With The New York Post reached out to the Kennebunk
Police Department for a comment. Spokesperson for the police told
the local main outlet that the alleged thief could face

(01:14:34):
criminal charges because there was no finder's keeper's precedent. You see,
main law is bizarrely strict about lost items with processes
in place for reporting Looston found goods worth as little
as three dollars. Any lost and found items estimated to
be worth at least three dollars must be turned over

(01:14:55):
to the town's clerk within a week. The finder must
also tell them where it was found and posts some
notification about the unclaimed item in a public place. Goods
worth more than ten dollars follow the same steps, with
the addition of a notification published in a local or
county newspaper, depending on which is more readily available. Now.
Under Main's criminal Code, a person is guilty of theft

(01:15:18):
if they obtain or exercise control over the property of
another that the person knows who have been lost. Because
of the cash's value, the alleged thief risks being slapped
with a Class C crime that could actually land behind
bars for up to five years on top of a
five thousand dollars fine. According to the Main Attorney General's Office,

(01:15:39):
finders are not keepers, at least not in Maine. I mean,
maybe they should just drug test the car seller who
left the cash on the roof of his car. And
then there's this Miami police arrested forty eight year old
Roman Wakez and seventy three year old Oscar Brooks Gogo
after catching them ill legally disposing of cooking grease into

(01:16:02):
a storm drain. The Environmental Crimes Unit investigation began following
an anonymous tip with the photograph, Officers found Joakez actively
dumping waste into the drain Gago nearby, Matching the photo description,
Woakes hopefully has Gogo instructed him to pour grease into
the drain as a regular practice at their restaurant. Gogo

(01:16:24):
admitted directing waste disposal, but denied ordering storm drain dumping.
Both faced charges of environmental crime willful disregard. Authorities warned
that grease dumping contaminates water sources, harms wildlife, clogs sewage systems,
and can cause raw sewage overflows into the waterways. The
substance coats animal feathers, fur, and hel smothers aquatic plants.

(01:16:47):
So look, don't want to end up with London style
fat bergs, you know.

Speaker 8 (01:16:51):
I mean, it's a.

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
Little heartwarming that someone somewhere still cares about the environment.
I'm just surprised as Florida or about this authority. Say,
a fifty year old employee was caught on camera stealing
secret recipe books from a Florida restaurant, leading to his
arrest on a felony charge. Investigators said Stafford Mortisco Miami,

(01:17:12):
located at one of three fifty five Northwest forty first
Street in Dral, noticed that three of the recipe books
had gone missing. Reviewed in their inn kitchen surveillance cameras,
they identified the culprit line cook Carlos Francisco Gottberg. Marquees.
Police said Gottberg was seen stealing two cookbooks and the

(01:17:32):
third day later. Burdisco Miami specializes in Venezuelan style stakes, appetizers,
and handmade arepas, according to the police. According to that
arrest report, staff at Mordisco told police that Gottberg was
at his second job. The report says policemen went to
Scholmar Barr or Schomar Bizarre Food Hall at ninety four

(01:17:54):
to twenty Northwest forty first Street to take Gottberg into custody.
Stafford's there said Gottberg works at a sandwich and smoothie
shop that does not sell venezuel and food, so it
was unclear what he planned to do with the books.
Police said that whenever they told Gottbrooke why they were
detaining him. He said in Spanish, it's men my bike,
it's in my bike. After his arrest on a charge
of theft of trade secrets, authorities said Gottbrooke made a

(01:18:17):
full confession, which was redacted from the report. He appeared
in Miami Dade bond court, where he was given a
twenty five hundred dollars bond. So we got a cook thief.
What about his wife and her lover? No no film
buffs here, huh. People just never know where the cameras
are anymore, you know. And what about this? The Pennsylvania

(01:18:38):
State Police are looking to identify two suspects accused of
stealing alcohol from an Indiana County Sheets convenience store. Troopers
there said the theft happened around two twenty six in
the afternoon at the Sheets at twenty two sixty US
nineteen or US one nineteen South and Center Township. According
to the investigators, the two individuals paid for the food
but did not pay for the alcohol products they allegedly

(01:19:01):
concealed in their clothing before running off. Police believe the
pair may have fled on foot toward the nearby Hudelberg trail.
One suspect is described as white, non Hispanic male with
dark hair, wearing a brown sweatshirt, gray sweatpants, brown and
white shoes, and the second is a white, non Hispanic male,
brown hair, wearing headphones, dark sweatshirt and a backpack. I'm

(01:19:23):
going to go out on a limb here and say
these young gentlemen are underage. Yeah, with dudes in hoodies
and headphones and backpacks, it should be pretty easy to find, right,
and you got to check this one out. Police in Farmington,
New Mexico, are investigating claims by Jason Roth, a fifty
one year old Colorado resident, who reported being stabbed by syringes.

(01:19:43):
It was taped to a Walmart toilet. Roth told the
officers he immediately sat down on the toilet and felt
the syringes against his skin, and after entering the stall
he recently used by someone that was wearing a shirt
with a demonic symbol on it. The syringes supposedly contained
pink flood that were attached with medical tape. Roth photographed

(01:20:04):
the evidence, but said Walmart staff did not appear to
care about the situation. Now, store surveillance footage reveals no
suspects initial testing on the syringes contents proved inconclusive, with
further analysis pending at the State Forensics Lab. The case
status is still inactive currently. Now Roth tells the Tri
County Record, pay attention to your surroundings people, there's demons

(01:20:25):
out there everywhere. Let me just think of how bad
it is to sit on a cold toilet with no syringes.
You know, they make it sound like, you know, they
don't believe in demons setting up pink fluid hotshots in
the Walmart bathrooms. I don't know, and you'll never believe
this one. Indiana State Police are seeking public health and
well these is after some thieves stole two critically endangered

(01:20:49):
tortoises from the Indianapolis Zoo. I'm gonna refer I'm gonna
refrain from making any comments about turtle heads poking out.
But the stolen animals include and the jip tortoise and
northern spider tortoise, both measuring four and five inches in length,
and both species are micro chipped, and the Egyptian tortoise
has a prominent scar on its underside. Now Zoos Senior

(01:21:12):
Vice President Jake Oakman said the facility is working closely
with law enforcement to investigate the theft. We continue to
hope for their safe return, and we appreciate the community's
support during this time. The Egyptian tortoise faces population decline
from pet trade demand, while the northern spider tortoise is
Madagascar's smallest endemic tortoise species, prominent scar on its underside.

(01:21:35):
Now this one sounds shady. Maybe it escaped hu. I
don't know. Not as thrilling as the Louver heist. But look,
we're following it in anyway, very very slowly. Okay. One more,
A thirty four year old South Florida man is facing
a felony charge after he broke into a Pine Crest

(01:21:56):
department naked. According to police. Of course, it's in Florida.
It happened before three in the morning. According to the
arrest of Affi David, the man, Gustavo Oliveros, entered the
apartment that was not his through an unlocked glass sliding door.
Residents in the apartment was woken up by their barking
dog and saw Oliverros standing on their couch naked. Olivero

(01:22:19):
stood up from the couch and said I'm sorry several
times and walked back out the glass door. He also
left feces on the patio and wrote on the sliding
glass door blessed in drugs. According to the affidavit, when
Oliverro's left the apartment, residents check for stolen property and
realized a camera was missing before they found it on

(01:22:41):
the couch where he was sitting. Remember, he was naked
with a camera. The resident said there was an orange
pill and a clear bag with black residue on the
floor on top of the table that didn't belong to them.
According to the police, Olverro's lived in the complex next
to the apartment he broke into. Police said that, well,

(01:23:02):
what led Olivero's to the apartment, Well, they couldn't specify.
Olivero's was arrested nine days later and was charged with
burglary of an occupied dwelling and of course, in decent exposure. Yeah,
so he writes blessed in drugs. It looks like we
got a new work email signature. Right, of course, I
even hate to go here. But did he use the

(01:23:25):
feces to write?

Speaker 6 (01:23:28):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:23:29):
No, I couldn't. He couldn't have. You can spread the
stupidity and share this podcast on social media with all
the five star stupidity that you've just heard. It deserves
a five star rating. If you subscribe, you'll never miss
an episode like the weekend episode featuring Pancho Guerro, my
Insane Florida and Nephew. Ask Poncho anything and he'll give

(01:23:52):
you a straight answer with his sage wisdom and test
your stupidity with Poncho in the weekly insane game show.
Of course, you could also please do me a favor,
rate and review the podcast. It stands out in searches
when you do that, because look, you're helping folks out there,
out there frantically searching for stupidity. The links on the

(01:24:13):
links to these very real stupid stories are always published
on Telegram Messenger after each episode has dropped. Now you
can join the Insane Eric Lane Stupid World Telegram channel
and check them all out and you'll find out for
yourself that are really true. Visit t me slash Insane
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(01:24:36):
Android or Apple platforms. And if you want, if you dare,
if you don't mind, please follow me on social media
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or just visit my website Insanericlane dot com. It's all
right there, and finally, ponder this. Vacations are a great
way to spend thousands of dollars to stare at your

(01:24:57):
phone in exotic location.

Speaker 10 (01:25:00):
Yes, call call coolcho call good call came.

Speaker 13 (01:25:05):
See Insane Eric Lane's Stupid World is produced with the
support from Envision, Wise Llcanamericountry dot Com, from Wise brother Media,
Universal Comedy at the United Stations Radio Network, Sheet Happens
dot Com, Good Parts Media, and Mister Laps Thee.

Speaker 12 (01:25:24):
Music from Randy stone Hill. It's a Great, big Stupid
World copyright nineteen ninety two stone HILLI and Music, Word Music,
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Speaker 14 (01:25:34):
Thanks for making it to the end of Insane Eric
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