Career Catfishing, His & Hers DUI, and Taylor Swift's "Wood"

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Everything you're about to hear is true. None of the
names have been changed because no one is innocent from stupidity.
It's a great bast of the world.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Round stupid.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
I'm insant, Eric Lane. Welcome to my stupid world. It's
the MIDWEK bonus episode with extra stupidity to get you
through the week. And if it's stupid enough, give it
a five star rating, because you're getting five stars stupidity.
You know, you might have heard of the term cat
fishing when it comes to dating, right, that seems to

(00:50):
be the new term. You know, you kind of get
reeled in and you don't realize who you're gonna end
up dating until you you know, Yeah, you ever been
catfished for a job. That's kind of how I came
to Pennsylvania. Yeah, it was true story. We had a
guy who was posing to put on a supposedly fifty

(01:14):
thousand watt contemporary Christian radio station program to reach non
Christian listeners with the gospel. That was the description placed
in a Christian job placement organization. Turned out to be
anything but that turned out to be like a top
forty station. And the guy who I say was from
Pittsburgh because he had a you know, he was an

(01:37):
iron and steel man from Pittsburgh. His wife Ironton he stealed. Yeah, so, yeah,
you might have been in the same situation. And I'm
fresh out of college. I'll land a shiny new job.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Yeah, you've been there, you know, the one job that
maybe a recruiter promised exciting growth opportunities, so maybe a
family like culture, competitive pay. Right translation, you'll be doing
three people's jobs, your coworkers will hate you, and the
competitive means you'll be competing with the guy at Taco
Bell for the same salary. Now, well, according to a

(02:12):
new report from Monster dot com, nearly eight and ten workers,
that's seventy nine percent if you do the math, so
that they've accepted a job that turned out to be
nothing like what was advertised. Apparently, career catfishing is hot
news scam, just like the online dating except instead of
being disappointed as someone's lying about their height, you're disappointed

(02:32):
at that project manager actually means professional button pusher who
also handles customer complaints, it issues, and well sometimes cleans
the break room microwave. The survey over fourteen hundred US
workers across industries found that nearly half of them realize
their job responsibilities were nothing like what was promised. Over

(02:53):
one in fives of the company culture was misrepresented. Nine
percent actually discovered their pay and benefits were not what
had been offered. That's right, they were literally lied to
about the money. Honestly, if I mean if a company
catfishes you on pay, it's not a red flag. Frankly,
that's a glowing neon billboard that reads run career expert,

(03:16):
VICKI sell me put it nicely, When honesty is absent
in the hiring process, trust is broken before it can
even take root. And that means if you're going to
hate your job, your boss, and probably yourself within three
weeks most likely. And now this isn't just a tragedy
for job seekers. Keep in mind employers get catfished also

(03:38):
because sometimes candidates can catfish just as well as they
can get catfished. There were thirteen percent of workers who
admitted they lied during the hiring process. Usually it's well,
I guess, exaggerating their responsibilities, their experience education. It's why
sixty seven percent of employees say that they currently work

(04:01):
with someone who's totally faking it. You know, exactly that
person is too, you know, the one who somehow doesn't
know how to use Excel despite having advanced spreadsheet skills
on their resume. And then the cost of all of this, well,
it's huge. Frankly. The Society for Human Resource Management estimates
that the average cost to hire someone is already over
seventy four or I mean forty seven hundred bucks. But

(04:23):
a bad hire can cost twice that person's annual salary.
So basically, hiring the wrong person is like setting money
on fire while also lighting your office morale on fire.
Double the flames, none of the fun. But there is
some good news. This cycle of mutual deception can be avoided.
See job seekers should ask more detailed questions and research

(04:44):
company culture on their own and get everything in writing
because they competitive pay on a job ad is basically
as useful as a fortune cookie, and the employers try
not lying in job ads. Check your candidate skills before
hiring them. Maybe stop pretending your office ping pong table
makes up to seven hour or makes up for a
seventy hour work week or something. I don't know. My

(05:08):
advice to people is, if you're going in an interview for
a job, going ahead and interview for the job. And
if it looks like that you're going to get the job.
Ask the person who's doing the interviewing, would you give
me three of your employees that I could talk to
about working here? Obviously that person is going to give
you three of their best employees, right, So when you

(05:30):
talk to the three of those employees to get their opinion,
ask each one of them, can you reference me a
former worker who used to work here that I can
talk to? So then you now have three former workers
to go with the three current workers, and you can
ask the former workers why did you leave? That might

(05:50):
give you a little bit of balance to the stupidity
in trying to find a decent job. Well, there was
a fifty six year old Brooklyn, New York man who
pleaded gil to grand larceny after stealing a tow truck
while operators tried to repossess his twenty twenty Chevy Silverado.
Video footage captured Russell Leosa shoving tow truck driver Paul

(06:14):
Carcello and yelling get the f out of here and
put the truck down. I'm warning you, mother effer, before
forcing his way into the vehicle. The long Island elevator
inspection firm owner drove the wrong way down fifty third
Street with the silverado hanging from the tow truck's arm,
scraping parked cars before the pickup fell off, rolled and

(06:35):
struck two more vehicles near a city bus. Here's the
moment that he stole the tow truck and then tried
to drive off while crashing into multiple cars.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Truck all the police because the drowning woman was going.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Laosa abandoned the stolen tow truck blocks away and was
arrested days later as viral video spread online. Well, his
plea deal avoids prison time, calling for three years probation,
fines and well anger management courses A long Islander elevator
inspector firm owner, Yeah, this could have ended much uglier. Right,

(07:29):
that's a tough language for someone who didn't pay cash
for that truck. Well, some couples share hobbies, some couples
share bank accounts, and then there are those extra special
duos who share matching dui charges. Let's head over to Portsmouth,
Rhode Island, where police there had one of those nights

(07:49):
that writes its own comedy sketch. At about twelve to
fifty in the morning, officers pulled over a thirty six
year old Cayla McGreal after watching her car commit multiple
traffic violations because apparently driving in a straight line is
an optional skill. After a few drinks, she showed signs
of intoxication, got arrested, taken down to the station. You know,

(08:11):
pretty routine stuff. But here's where the story graduates from
poor decision to legendary stupidity. Enter her forty six year
old husband, Matthew Wheeler. Like a night in shining armor,
he rode to rescue his beloved wife. The only problem,
he too, was drunk. Yes, this man thought the best

(08:33):
way to pick up his freshly arrested DUI charged wife
was by driving drunk to the police station. Genius move. Police,
not exactly shocked, noticed the same telltale signs of intoxication
when they tried to arrest him. Wheeler decided resisting was
the best option because nothing screams innocent misunderstanding like wrestling

(08:54):
with cops inside the police station. So now we've got
matching his in hers charges. Mcgreel faces DUI A. Wheeler
faces DUI resisting arrest and refusal to submit to a
chemical test basically the trefecta of bad choices. Look, some
couples go on date nights and some couples Netflix and chill,

(09:15):
and then there's these two whose idea of bonding was
back to back mugshots. Yes, talk about relationship golds. Maybe
you've been driving and really really had to go to
the bathroom, so you just stepped on the gas and
started a little street racing right. Florida Highway patrols spotted

(09:37):
a Toyota Camery and a motorcycle stops side beside a
traffic light at three o'clock on a Sunday morning. They
started racing at speeds well over one hundred miles an hour.
The motorcycle hit more than one hundred and forty to
Camry was locked at one hundred and twenty four. The
troopers later stopped the Camry and the twenty four year
old driver, David Stone, who claimed he was speeding because

(09:59):
he quote had to use the bathroom. Yeah, here's Lieutenant
Greg Bueno talking about that arrest to Camery driver.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
You know I have a license, So that's where its
flag number one, number two.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
This is all happening at.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
Three in the morning, where they're going at three in
the morning.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
At nine go.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Obviously that was just a line. He passed multiple gas
stations in a blur while racing. He was charged with
driving without a license too, along with excessive speed and racing,
and police are still looking for that motorcycle too. Maybe
he needed to go even more and he was going.
All right, that's for sure. Well, it's probably best a

(10:36):
consult your doctor if you are going to be taking
medical advice from a celebrity, especially when their wellness hacks
or outright disgusting or even potentially dangerous. Got a list
of these wellness wild wellness hacks, mind you, that were
shared by some celebrities, and I guess these people are
actually doing what they say. Like Tom Brady, he said
drinking large amounts of water will help prevent sunburns. Courtney

(11:00):
Kardashian said her doctor told her that drinking semen four
times a week would help with fertility. The Beyonce dropped
twenty pounds in two weeks for Dream Girls by giving
up all solid food and drinking just a concoction of
lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup. Megan Fox claimed

(11:22):
the drinking apple cider vinegar before meals helps you slim
keep slim by cleansing out your system entirely. ACV does
have some health benefits, though, I guess well. And Keisha
drank her own pea because she thought it was good
for you. Yeah, I don't think she'd recommended. Gwyneth Paltrow

(11:45):
and Goop sold jade and rose quartz eggs for women
to put up their lady bits to increase feminine energy
and increase vaginal muscle tone. Oh, by the way, they
got sued too. And finally, Kim Kardashian received demand par facial,
which is when you have your own you have your
own blood drawn, then you have that blood plate in

(12:06):
the rich plasma injected or topically spread all over your face.
She said it was painful, she wouldn't do it again.
Why she did it in the first place is beyond me. Oh,
we got Halloween season coming up, and in the grand
Parade of questionable life choices, we take you to Stanton, Kentucky,

(12:27):
where one man decided to turn his front yard into
a crime scene masquerading as a Halloween display. Please say
Stephan Markham was arrested after his so called quote decorations
feature what appeared to be five human bodies stuffed in
trash bags, each labeled with the names of actual local officials,

(12:51):
because nothing says festive Halloween night like turning your personal
zoning dispute into a low budget episode of CSI Appalachia.
When officers got Markham's home, they found the display arranged
neatly across his yard. One dummy hung from a rope
labeled District Judge. The others resting on the ground were
tagged Mayor, sis CA and zoning manager. At police, showing

(13:16):
remarkable restraint, described this as potentially threatening. Most people would
have called it a really bad idea. When they questioned him,
Markham chose not to comment, which honestly was probably the
smartest decision he's made all weak. He was promptly arrested
in charge with intimidating a witness and a legal process

(13:37):
and third degree terroristic threatening. Here's one official, Eddie Barnes,
talking about seeing the decorations that Stefan Markham put out
of him. At first, I didn't know what to think
about it, because I actually drove by and seeing it
in his yard and I'm thinking, wow, you know, that's
kind of harsh. Now, this isn't just random Halloween horror.

(14:00):
Has been in a long running feud you see, with
the city over his zonning violations, apparently for not connecting
to legal water sewer and electrical systems. Recently, a judge
had find him two hundred and fifty bucks and gave
him thirty days to comply. A few weeks later, he
expressed his feelings about the situation with hanging mannequins. Nothing says,
I respectfully disagree your honor like a fake body bag

(14:23):
in the front yard, you know. Powell Judge or Powell
County Judge Executive Eddie Barnes, who's known Markham for years,
told the reporters this day in time, we don't know
what people are going to do. You know which is
you know, small town Kentucky coke for Yeah, that was nuts.
Barnes added that while he'd never had issues with Markham before,

(14:44):
incidents like this have to be taken seriously because apparently
not everyone knows where the line is between Halloween humor
and felony intimidation. The City of Stanton later released a
statement clarifying that it's not trying to take anyone's property,
just to make sure everyone's util these are safe and legal,
which is kind of a polite way of saying, please
just hook up your water and stop hanging effigies of

(15:06):
us from trees. So now instead of scaring trick or treaders,
Markham is actually scaring his attorney and facing criminal charges
for what may may be the least clever Halloween display
in Kentucky history. Well, usually at the local Dollar General
or Dollar the Dollar Tree. You can go there to

(15:26):
get party supplies and some knockoff cleaning products and maybe
in if you're living in Melbourne, Florida, free trauma in
her twenty five year old Blake Walker Jones. That's a
man who's decided that the one dollar Aisle was a
perfect stage for his very own adult content nightmare. According
to police, mister Jones spent nearly half an hour creeping

(15:48):
through the store, not to buy discount candy or wrapping paper,
but to harass women. And let's just say, audition for
America is least wanted. One victim reported that Jones grabbed
her butt as he brushed past her in the aisle,
which was real classy. Another woman said he just went
on ahead and exposed himself and because Blake apparently thought

(16:09):
the Dollar Tree was also a private theater. Witnesses said
he was openly masturbating in the aisles. Yeah, right between
the cheap balloons and the off brand is shope. After
this little showcase of public indecency, Jones hopped into his
white Ford Torres and took off. Because stupidity tends to
repeat itself, so he came back a month later, same store,

(16:31):
same behavior, same crime. Like he was a perverted customer
with a rewards card. Well, store management spotted him mid act,
call police and use video evidence to nail him down.
Turns out this wasn't his first rodeo Ethers you might expect.
Jones already had a record including domestic violence and strangulation
charges in Texas and Colorado. So clearly he's a man

(16:54):
who's been working on his the Greatest Hits with the
Greatest bits tour across state lines. Police finally arrested him
and charged him with felony battery and public exposure, and
the judge set the obvious rules. You know, no going
back to that Dollar Tree and no contacting the victims.
You know, things are pretty bad when the court has
to specifically order you not to return to a discount store.

(17:16):
Of course, just keep in mind that you can get
away with an inspired candy and flimsy plastic cutlery at
dollar Tree, but not exposing yourself even in a place
where everything's a dollar, that would cost you big time.
And this head scram scratcher comes from the great state
of Florida. Because of course, it's three o'clock in the
morning in Wilton manors a thirty one year old man

(17:37):
there from Florida named Austin Kasani or Karasani, I guess
he leaves the club after a little too much quality
time with alcohol. Mister Karasani decides it's a perfect moment
to crash at his buddy's house. But instead of his
friend's place, he ends up breaking into the home of
an MMA fighter. That's right, out of the thousands of

(18:00):
the houses in Florida, he picks the one belonging to
a man who literally wakes up every day and chooses
violence as a hobby. Now, that fighter's name, by the way,
is Henry Rojas. He's been training mixed martial arts for
three years and well, when he's not sparring, he's apparently
waiting for idiots to wander into his living room uninvited
at three o'clock in the morning. When his teenage nephew

(18:22):
spots the intruder and shouts, uncle, wake up. Henry doesn't
go for a gun or a knife or even a
baseball bat. Nope. He just says, I've got God in
my hands and that's all I need. And that means
tonight's special is a five course serving of a knuckle sandwich,
and Austin is about to get the all you can
eat buffey. By the time the police get there, Austin's

(18:44):
face looks like a Picasso painting, you know, lots of blue,
a little black, maybe some red for flair. When he
appears before the judge a few hours later, you can
bet the courtroom did not need evidence photos. His face
was exhibit A. Now, Austin claims he just trying to
get to his friend's house, which might be true, but
here's a hot tip for the future. Your friend's house

(19:06):
usually doesn't start with you breaking in through the front
door at dawn. Well, he here is Henry Ross talking
about taking care of the intruder. I'm prepared, you know,
my first time.

Speaker 5 (19:17):
I don't feel in pain nothing, because I don't lie
your guns.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
I've been looking for a knife for nothing, only God
and on my hands. That's it. Meanwhile, Henry Ross is
asked if he do anything differently. In his response, nope,
protect your family. They're crazy people out there, and honestly
he's not wrong. I mean, if you're gonna stumble drunk
into a stranger's house, maybe just maybe check the mailbox first,

(19:43):
Otherwise you might discover the stranger is trying to rearrange
your face free of charge. Well, here's an incident from Florida,
who once again has delivered the kind of story that
makes you kind of wonder if we as a species
are actually evolving in reverse. We've got seventeen year old
Caden's spate. He decides the best way to spend a

(20:05):
Thursday was to fake his own abduction. That's right, fake
it and not just fake it. He went full Netflix
drama levels of commitment. I mean we're talking self inflicted
gunshut wound, frantic family messages, and an amber alert that
had police scrambling across the state. So young Caden texts

(20:25):
his family claiming that for hispanic, men in a van
had snatched him up after a shooting. The classic mystery
van Villain movie. Well, his sister, understandably horrified beg for
help on Facebook, posting heart wrenching please, while the whole
community was worried sick. Meanwhile, Cayden was shopping at Walmart,

(20:46):
because if you're going to fake a kidnapping, nothing screams
realistic criminal activity quite like picking up a tent, a bike,
and some camping gear from the world's biggest superstore. What
He ditches his truck on the side of the highway,
hops on his shiny new bike, and pedals away like
some half baked runaway from a bad Disney Channel original movie.
But Cayden was not done. No, no, now, he needed

(21:08):
his story to sell, so he whips out his hand
dandy handgun and shot himself in the leg to keep
the ruse alive, because apparently nothing says I'm kidnapped like
I just injured myself for the bit Bravo kid method
acting at its finest. Well. Authorities finally found him in
the next day, safe and sound, but not before burning

(21:30):
through taxpayer money and police resources on a wild goose chase.
Sheriff Billy Wood summed it up quite nicely. Caden's story
was quote completely made up, which means this kid watched
probably too many episodes of CSI and thought he could
fool literally everyone. And get this, the cops still haven't
been able to properly interview him because his parents won't

(21:53):
give him permission, which is perfect because nothing screams responsible
parenting like letting your kid fake kidnap himself, shoot his
own leg, then shield him from answering questions. Charges are
on the table, which is I guess polite legal speak
for we're deciding if this stunt deserves actual consequences. Now
for reference, another woman also fake turk kidnapping in Alabama.

(22:14):
She got a year in prison. So Kayden might want
to trade that tent in for an orange jumpsuit. Well,
I've got a story from New York City where a
woman there learned that sometimes the scariest car problems turns
out to bel the stupidest. Alex Navarez had just finished

(22:34):
a five hour drive when she started hearing a mysterious
crackling noise in her car. Not a rattle, not a squeak,
a crackling, you know, like something was burning. Now, for
most of us, the sound of crackling inside a car
means one of two things. Either you got a serious
problem under the hood, or your snacks have come to life.
But for Alex it was even worse. She was convinced

(22:58):
it was rats. To be fair, She had a reason
because her previous mechanic had already found evidence of rodents
and her engine. So when this new noise appeared, she
did what any of us would do, right, Panic Google
Now the Internet assured her it could just be low coolant,
So she just brought the car in for service, you know,
oil change, sixty thousand mile check, full inspection. It cost

(23:21):
her seven hundred bucks. So the mechanics looked. The mechanics listened,
and they found absolutely nothing. No noise, no problem. Case closed,
Except when Alex gets back of the car, the noise
was still there. Now, she sat in her car, parked,
frustrated and finally looked at her infotainment screen and noticed something.

(23:49):
Her car wasn't broken, her engine wasn't infested. That mysterious crackling.
She was hearing a fireplace soundscape. App Here's what it
sounded like. Yeah, she'd been listening to fake cozy fire

(24:09):
sounds through her car speakers the entire time. Alex posted
the discovery on TikTok, and naturally, the Internet had a
field day. People chimed in with their own stories of
vehicular stupidity. One person called trip La after losing their
car keys, only to find them still dangling in the ignition.
Another thought their Dora was haunted by a mysterious rattle

(24:31):
which turned out to be a loose coin, and the
classic dreaded check engine light that turned out to be
nothing more than a gas cap that wasn't closed all
the way. Of course, the best part Alex isn't the
loan car owners around the country have mistaken strange sounds
from major disasters when in reality it was something stupid or,
in a few cases, even a tiny kitten yelling under

(24:51):
the hood. So the moral here is pretty simple. Before
assuming your car's about to explode or is being colonized
by rats, tried double check that you didn't just turn
on sounds of nature cozy fireplace. Oh yes, and we're
back at Florida, you know, the home of America's greatest

(25:12):
reality show. This time it's starring Gail Maurice Stevenson, who's
fifty seven years old and managed to prove that alcohol
and paranoia are a match made in well, probably Key West, See,
Gail hits up the American Legion Hall for a few drinks,
you know, the classy kind of night that ends with
revolvers and fello ony charges. After tossing back several drinks,

(25:34):
she decides that's a great time to give some some
random guy that she doesn't even know a ride home,
because obviously, nothing bad ever comes from chauffeuring strangers while buzzed.
But when Gail can't find her phone, well, she jumps
straight to seuside drunk ndition. Clearly the guy stole her phone,

(25:55):
No way it could be anywhere else, right except oh wait,
it was actually sitting on the floor of SUV the
whole time, in plain sight, right there. The phone was
literally writing shotgun while Gail was out accusing innocent people
of grand larceny. But does she stop, Oh no, though
that would require rational thinking. Instead, multiple neighbors start calling

(26:18):
the police because Gail is cruising around like some kind
of low budget vigilante, banging on doors, honking her horn,
and threatening people while screaming that she's been robbed. At
one point, she allegedly points a revolver at a man's chest,
a revolver mind you, because nothing says responsible citizen like
brandishing a firearm during a drunken scavenger hunt for your
missing phone. Police eventually track down the gun. Of course,

(26:42):
it was loaded, stuffed inside a purple Crown Royal bag
behind a trash Can you know just the kind of
hiding spot criminal masterminds dream up after three Gens and tonics. So,
when confronted, Gail pulls the classic it wasn't me kind
of defense and insisting that her husband had had the
gun with him in Georgia. Well, here's a spoiler, he didn't.

(27:04):
She's now facing aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, arm trespassing,
and evidence tampering, all of them felonies, all because she
couldn't be bothered to look at her car floor. So
the next time you lose your phone, maybe just retrace
your steps before declaring war on your neighborhood, unless, of course,
you also enjoy Crown Royal bags and felony charges. Well

(27:26):
here's the story that my insane Florida nephew, Panco Guero
could not bring himself to read. And it's not because
he's a He's not a Taylor Swift fan. I mean, look,
we all know how Taylor Swift loves her Easter eggs,
right and not the kind you hide on Sunday morning
before church. She has her new album out called The

(27:47):
Life of Showgirl. She may have instead dropped not an
Easter egg but an Easter egg plant because there's a
song on the album called Wood and it's a straight
up o to Travis Kelsey's Manhammer. If you don't believe me,
check out the lyrics forgive me. It sounds cocky. He

(28:11):
amatized me and opened my eyes Redwood Tree. It ain't
hard to see his love was the key that opened
my thighs. Girls, I don't need to catch the bouquet
hmm to know a rock hard or to know why
hard rock is on the way. And Baby, I'll admit
I've been a little superstitious. The curse on me was

(28:31):
broken by your magic wand seems to be that you
and me we make our own luck new heights of manhood.
I ain't got a knock on wood. Pretty obvious. No, Oh,
but wait, there's more. Taylor's fans have become experts at
digging for hidden messages, and they think they found one
that reveals just how much equipment Travis is actually working

(28:54):
with you see because the song Wood is two minutes
and thirty seconds long, two hundred and thirty millimeters equals
nine inches. Also, Wood is song number nine on the album. Hmm,
I guess the only thing left to say is congratulations. Travis.

(29:17):
On online reactions to what have exactly been all over
the place, but if it matters to you. Nicki Minaj
is a fan, She tweets that it was exactly what
I needed tonight. My favorite response, though, asked to be
this one. Here. Wood joining the list of Taylor Swift
songs played at every wedding for the rest of time
makes me so happy. Well, this actually happened. I mean,

(29:40):
if you attend a wedding where they play Wood, would
you you better take some videos and share the audio
with me so I can put it on a podcast.
I mean. When asked about Taylor's bold new track, Travis
didn't really shy away, although he did keep things cool.
He was on the New Heights podcast that was co
hosted with his brother Jason. Travis called it a great song.
Jason pressed further, teasing his brother whether he felt cocky

(30:04):
about the risque lyrics. Travis simply replied any song where
Taylor references him as special and confirmed he enjoyed the beat.
Travis joked that Jason might be misunderstanding the song and
declined to dig into the explicit innuendos too deeply. Travis,
you know, played dumb about the song and believes Taylor's
comparison to a Redwood Tree was a bit generous.

Speaker 6 (30:27):
Wood great, great soundtrack. How do you feel about Wood?
Let's ask this, how do you feel about Wood?

Speaker 1 (30:38):
It's a great song, it's a great song.

Speaker 6 (30:41):
Do you feel like that?

Speaker 1 (30:44):
Huh?

Speaker 6 (30:45):
Do you feel trying to think of the word. Do
you feel not confident? You feel cocky? Do you feel
cocky about the song?

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Would know any song that you know?

Speaker 6 (31:04):
It's not just me, It's not just any song. It's
very like, this is a very specific you. I love
that girl, So what do you mean any song that
she would reference me in? Any Well, it's not just you, though,
it's an appendage. It's not just you as a it's
a very specific thing. I think you're not understanding the song.
Jesus Christ, Travis, come on, no way, Redwood Tree ain't

(31:29):
hard to see. I thought Redwood was a little bit
you know that was. That's a generous word. I think.
I think if somebody wrote a song about me, it'd
be like Japanese maple. Sometimes can see.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
Japanese.

Speaker 6 (31:57):
That songs great though, the freaking the beat to that
song is fantastic, and that's right up my alley. So
well done out of.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
The Integra well in the review. In the interviews, Taylor
has said the song began innocently, I mean, inspired by superstition,
but evolved into a more provocative piece during the studio sessions.
Apparently it really raised her temperature. There was a Chicago
woman who allegedly decided that the best way to express

(32:24):
her political opinions was with dog poop, because nothing says
mature political discourse like smearing feces on a stranger's car.
John Evans, guy visiting from Savannah, Georgia, parked his Tesla
cyber truck in Chicago's Northalsted neighborhood. He was attending a
conference there seet. But this wasn't just any cyber truck,

(32:46):
you see. This bad boy was wrapped in an American
flag and featured Donald Trump's gold leaf signature on the tailgate.
When Evans returned, though, he had found that somebody had
taken it upon themselves to redecorate the truck using dog poop.
That's right, some Chicago local apparently saw this rolling Maga
billboard and thought, you know what, this needs a little

(33:07):
brown commentary. The cyber trucks built in cameras, though, caught
the whole thing. The woman in the footage allegedly walked
up calmly, not rushed, not nervous, and just started smearing
away like she was frosting a cake at a toddler's
birthday party. Well, Evan's posted these screenshots online. The internet

(33:28):
slews quickly went to work, allegedly identifying the culprit as
Dorothy Owen, the co owner of a local dog daycare
called Renegade Dog Services, because of course she works with dogs.
Then the daycare's Instagram page, you see in the display
of world class professionalism, seemingly mocked the incident, posting something

(33:49):
about saggy tits and adding a few hashtags that would
make your grandma faint. The post did not age well,
because not long after the internet mob arrived, the business
started racking up one star reviews faster than you can
say karma. Now, to his credit, Evans isn't pressing charges.

(34:10):
He says the online backlashes punishment enough and that the
police have better things to do than to handle poop
based protest crimes, which is a fair point. I mean.
He did, however, offer a little bit of advice for America.
You have an obligation to do better, which, considering the
whole mess that started because somebody literally weaponized dog poop,
might be the understatement of the year. Now. There was

(34:35):
a young mechanic in Textas that went viral on TikTok
after showing how his shops prices for basic oil changes
have doubled over the past year, from thirty nine ninety
nine to seventy nine ninety nine. His name is Skyler.
He works in San Antonio. He took to TikTok to
share his confusion about how an oil change it used
to cost thirty nine ninety five now almost cost you

(34:56):
eighty bucks. He admits he doesn't know anything about politics,
but even he can tell something's a little often the
basic oil change starts competing with the dinner at Chili's.
Skyler even held up an old shop sign showing last
year's prices, probably like an ancient relic from a simpler,
cheaper time. Then he revealed that just a week after
his post, the price jumped again. Now it's seventy nine

(35:18):
to ninety nine for a standard oil change, or one
hundred and twenty bucks. If you're feeling luxurious and going
for full synthetic course at this rate, popping off your
fluids might soon require a credit check. Oh, here's Skyler
breaking it down in a video.

Speaker 7 (35:32):
They went up again to seventy nine ninety nine or
one hundred and twenty for a full synthetic, which is
actually competitive pricing for an oil change. Right now, this
just doesn't make any sense because you can go buy
five courts of oil for like thirty dollars at Amazon. But
somehow the price of labor is what's bringing the price
of the oil changes up. Meanwhile, the people doing the
labor don't get any pay raise or anything, so I

(35:53):
don't know.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
The saddest part is that the mechanics doing the work
aren't making any extra money, says The price hikes aren't
showing up in the workers' paychecks. Higher costs for oil
and filters, parts, and labor something called vehicle complexity, which
means cars got fancier and now everyone has to pay
for it. I mean, there are the usual suspects of

(36:16):
supply chain issues, inflation, compliance, costs, all which sound like
adult ways of saying we can charge you more now,
But TikTok. Commenters had their own theories. Some blame corporate greed,
others politics. One side pointed to Trump's tariffs, another to
Biden's inflation. Meanwhile, though, the rest of us are just
trying to figure out how changing five courts of oil

(36:37):
turned into a luxury service. So Skyler's final take, he's
just gonna stop noticing stuff. It's easier that way, honestly, though,
I mean, it might be the smartest economic strategy anyone's
had in years, because look, if we've earned anything from
the story, it's that modern economy runs on confusion, excuses
and an eighty dollars oil change. Well, people can do

(36:59):
crazy things when they feel jilted by an ex, but
there's got to be a story behind this. A twenty
eight year old Florida woman named Gabriel or Gabrielle Franz,
was arrested after she was caught throwing dozens of tampons
into her boyfriend her ex boyfriend's lawn, he now lives
there with his new girlfriend, and it's really unclear why

(37:21):
she did it, but reports say there were seventy five
to one hundred of them. She had also painted them
red so that it looked like they were used. Gabrielle
initially denied she was even there or even knew where
her ex lived, but when she was shown security camera
footage of her truck, she well changed her story and
said that it was her mom and aunt's idea. Gabrielle

(37:45):
is a local firefighter, by the way, but she's also
now been placed on paid leave and was charged to
two counts of misdemeanor stalking. I kind of love thinking
of the mom and aunt masterminding this plan. You know,
if your elders don't play. Oh yeah, well if this
as a woman who runs into burning buildings, so I
would probably bet there's some legitimate purpose.

Speaker 7 (38:06):
Well.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
This Halloween Airheads has society to solve one of society's
most overlooked problems, adults who still want to trick or
treat but feel a little weird doing it by themselves.
The companies answer a giveaway contest where applicants could win
a decoy boy, a robotic trick or treat sidekick disguised
as a costumed child, designed to help grown ups score

(38:28):
candy without the social shame. Now, according to a recent
one pul survey, eighty seven percent of it it'll say
it's weird to trick or treat by themselves. Apparently, the
statistic was all the motivation Airheads needed to invent a
child sized robot that can roll up on a doorstep
and yell trick or treat, and demand candy on your behalf,
all while you just casually stand nearby pretending you're with

(38:51):
the kid. The decoy boy comes dressed as either a
ghost or a wizard or a Frankenstein, and rides in
an all terrain wagon because nothing says stealthy adult like
putting a small robot down or pulling the small robot
down the street at night. It's all battery powered, carries
up to fifteen pounds of candy, and features some truly

(39:12):
advanced Halloween technology like a persuasion dial to help extra
security treats, and even a tantrum mode when the negotiations
break down. The brand director for Airheads, Chris Borgius, summed
up this concept the best. He says Halloween should be
fun for every one, no matter your age or background.
In other words, if you're too old a trick or
treat but too proud to buy your own candy, Airheads

(39:34):
got you covered literally with a robot in a tiny costume.
From a distance, decoy Boy could probably pass for a
real child. But up close, though, it's a bit more obvious,
especially when Frankenstein's head starts blinking in low battery lights
mid trick or treat. Still, the illusion is convincing enough
to get candy from the most for the front porches,

(39:55):
providing that the spirit of Halloween is still alive and well,
even if it's powered by recharge batteries. Here's what the
commercial about the decoy Boy was when they put it
out for too long.

Speaker 8 (40:06):
Getting older has been giving up the joy of trick
or treating. Luckily, Airheads has a solution, the Decoy Boy.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Or treat Airheads Please. Oh I'm sorry, is this your child?

Speaker 4 (40:18):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (40:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (40:20):
The decoy Boy is a humanoid robot with innovative candy
extracting technology that makes it socially acceptable for you to
go trick or treating.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Please place Airheads into my human hand. Can I have
one more? Please?

Speaker 4 (40:34):
Please?

Speaker 8 (40:35):
Please, And in case of emergency, there's always tantrum mode.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Oh yay, it is so this year. If you see
a grown adult whispering candy related instructions to the small
ghost in a wagon, don't judge. It's not weird. It's
just innovation. And thanks to airheads, adults everywhere can finally
enjoy Halloween the way it was meant to be enjoyed.
Hiding behind a robot child and hoarding sugar. Oh boy,

(41:07):
I'm not a very romantic person, but there is those
that love the romance. The magical feeling that you know
leads to flowers or chocolates sometimes, or maybe if you're
from Richfield, Utah. Three separate arsen charges. Thirty eight year
old del Mar Ray Barney apparently decided they couldn't rekindle
his love with his ex wife, so he just literally

(41:29):
set her house on fire three times. Because nothing says
closure quite like multiple felon accounts and a melted bathroom window. Now,
Barney was arrested and booked into the Severe County Jail
for what might be the most overachieving list of charges
this year so far, twenty potential crimes, including attempted murder,

(41:49):
aggravated arsen aggravated assault, violating in protective order four different times,
and because why I stop there, drug possession, marijuana possession,
and paraphernalia. Truly a man who believes in being well rounded.

Speaker 4 (42:05):
Not.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
The fiery saga began around one thirty in the morning
when flames popped up outside his ex wife's house. She
wasn't there, thankfully, but came back to find her sighting
melted in her backyard torched. Well, investigators quickly determined the
fire was not an accident, it was arson. Imagine that
Four days later, Barney comes apparently thought well. Round two,

(42:25):
another fire ignited outside the same house. While his ex
and her kids were asleep. She hears a loud thump,
smelt gas, looks outside, sees smoke. Luckily she got everybody
out before the house turned into a bonfire. Well, at
this point, the woman has security cameras installed, because you know,
when your ex keeps showing up with a lighter, you

(42:45):
stop trusting coincidences. Sure Enough, a week later, the cameras
caught a man in black creeping around the same bathroom window,
looked right at the camera, covered his face, and, according
to his ex wife, gave himself away. With his trademark
walk limp and head tilt. The couple spent fifteen years together.
The guy still didn't realize she'd recognize his gait smooth

(43:08):
criminal indeed, but Barney wasn't finished proving his stupidity. Around
two thirty in the morning on a Sunday, the ex
wife's luck ran out a third time when another explosion
hit her house. The video shows a mask man lighting
something and throwing it at the window and then running away, then,
because even his crimes needed an encore, coming back to

(43:30):
throw it again. The fire burned into the bedroom where
two people were sleeping. Fortunately they escaped before the genius
turned manslaughter into murder. Police later found Barney at his
home and arrested him. Turns out he'd already had a
protective order against him, which he ignored repeatedly, because clearly
legal documents mean nothing when you're on a personal mission

(43:51):
to win most arrestable man in Utah. Authority said that
Barney has a history of threats and a complete disregard
for the order. He's a walking public service announcement for
why restraining orders come with fine print. A love story
Gone Up and Smoke three Fires twenty charges and one
guy who mistook burning passion for fell on the arson.

(44:12):
So look, when your relationship flames out, maybe call a therapist,
not the fire department. Got another social media miracle hack
for you. Freeze your carbs. That's right, folks, Slap that
slice of bread in the freezer, and apparently your digestive
system will start behaving just the way it should. TikTok

(44:33):
and Instagram are full of doctors confidently claiming frozen bread
is completely different and ten times healthier than it was
before you froze it. Sure, and I'm ten times taller
if I lie down, But there is some science behind it.
Although let's not throw the freezer out with the stale bread.
You see. Freezing and then toasting bread can reduce blood

(44:53):
sugar spikes up to forty percent compared to fresh bread,
according to a small two thousand and eight study in
the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition. The trick you see
lies in the starches. Freezing and reheating bread changes some
of the starch into what experts call resistant starch, which
behaves more like fiber, and resistant starch isn't digested in

(45:14):
the small intestine. Instead, though it makes its way to
the colon where gut bacteria get a snack, ferment it
and produce short chain fatty acids. Science says this may
help digestion and reduce inflammation, so your gut microbes are
basically partying while you eat toast now. Brian Quaclay, a
food scientist, explained it kind of plainly resistant starch feeds

(45:35):
the gut bacteria in the colon, But like most things
in life, there's a catch. Some people might get mild
bloating when they first start eating the more resistant starch.
And don't think this is limited to bread. We got
pasta and rice and potatoes, I mean anything. Stars. You
can supposedly join the resistant starch club if you cook it,
cool it, and then reheat it. Just don't shove hot

(45:56):
bread straight into the freezer. That's the bacteria waiting to
happen situation. The experts recommend dividing it and using air
type containers instead. But before you start thinking frozen bread
is your new health hack for life, let's just be
real here. The benefits are really modest. Helen t who's
a registered dietitian, points out that bread choice, portion size,

(46:19):
and what you eat with it matter of far more
than whether it was frozen. Whole grain sprouted or sour
dough paired with protein and veggies would do way more
for your blood sugar than white bread, no matter how
long it's been in the freezer. Now here's a clip
from one of the videos, though they do admit it's
only slightly healthier.

Speaker 9 (46:37):
When bread is frozen. Some of its starts changes into
something called resistant starch. Your body digests it more like
fiber than sugar, and toasting it that can slightly lower
its glycemic index. And yes, small studies back that up,
but this isn't a miracle hack. The real winds choosing
whole grain bread, adding protein and ditching sugary toppings.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
And if you pile on butter, jelly or nutella, congratulations,
you just turned your healthy bread back into dessert. Freezing
and toasting bread won't strip it of fiber, protein, or vitamins,
but may affect the texture and make it ghost tale faster.
And while toasting can slightly lower the glycemic index, portion

(47:17):
control and smaller bread choices still win the day. Finally,
a little note of caution from the experts. Most studies
on this trick are short term. Include healthy volunteers and
measure only maybe a single meal blood sugar response. Look,
I don't know yet if this actually helps anybody with
pre diabetes or diabetes in the long run. So yeah,
freeze your bread if you want, but don't expect the

(47:39):
magic solution. Social media says miracle hack. Science says, eh, maybe,
and your gut bacteria are probably the only ones truly impressed. Well, okay,
here we are in October, and well you've probably seen
a Christmas tree up somewhere, maybe even in your city's
downtown plaza. Well, just put up their downtown Christmas tree

(48:02):
almost two months ahead of the holidays. That usually triggers
plenty of adults who like their holidays to remain within
designated time frames. But even some kids have got a
beef with Pittsburgh. There's a local news report about a
Christmas tree which was put up in the plaza at
the ice rink. But the ice rink doesn't even open
till November the fourteenth. They talked to a young boy

(48:24):
named Marcus woodruff fan. Well this is what he had
to say, A men kid. Look, for what it's worth,
that's apparently a timing thing. The tree needs to go
in before the ice crank, before the ice rank. And
that's a big job. It takes about a month to do,
so I guess there's a reason. Well, if there's a

(48:45):
day to not give your doggie an extra treat for
being a good boy, this might have been it. It
was pet National Pet Obesity Awareness Day and a full
third of pet owners admit their kitty, cat, or puppy
dog could stand to lose a little weight. And that's
just the self reported stats. Thirty three percent of cat
owners thirty five percent of dog owners say there are

(49:06):
pet is overweight or obese, but studies have found the
real numbers might be more like sixty percent. Obviously, we
only have ourselves to blame. Fifty four percent of pet
owners admit they usually give in when the pet begs
for treats, so the easiest way to help them lose
a few pounds is to just feed them less. Or
maybe this might exist soon. Would you ever consider putting

(49:29):
your pet on ozimpic? Yeah, ozempic for pets or well
pet zempic. It's not been approved of the FDA yet,
but that could be in the next few years. So
if you got a dog that's living large, there could
now be some help.

Speaker 3 (49:43):
It's Pet obesity Awareness Day. Now you could do something
for your overweight dog. Introducing bone zempic.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
Bone bone, bone bone.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Z Is it time to give bone z epoch to
your dog?

Speaker 1 (49:57):
We say yes.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
If you caught him humping the leg of lamb, the
mailman distracts him with ketchup packets, when he jumps on
the bed, it flings you off like a catapult. And
when your vet says, I'm sorry, I can't find his testicles,
bone bone, bone bone lone sempich, so your fat dog

(50:21):
can be fat dog gone.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
Thirty five pet owners said they'd consider it. Vet's were
even more likely to say yes. Fifty four percent would
prescribe it if it was proven to be safe and effective.
By the way, the poll also looked at the top
words vets used when telling owners their pet needs to
lose weight. About forty percent of the vets say it's
not always an easy thing to bring up, so even
with pets, it's a touchy subject. The top three words

(50:44):
that they use are overweight, obies, and just bluntly telling
people your pet's fat. Chunky chubby actually round out the
top five. Now one in eight people say they felt
embarrassed when the vet tells them their pet was a
little heftier than it should be. Well, then do something
about it.

Speaker 4 (51:02):
Well.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
One of the most bizarre thefts of the year seems
to have been resolved, sort of. You may have heard
about how a fifty pound fiberglass dinosaur named Claire was
stolen from a Los Angeles gas station a few years ago.
Surveillance footage showed the thief removing Claire and then loading
it into the back of a truck driven to somebody else,
and then they both drove away. Well, the dinosaur was

(51:25):
returned anonymously with a note attached said I'm sorry for
stealing Claire, Please do not press charges. Claire's return was
also caught on surveillance video as well, but the owner
of the gas station says they are not going to
press charges. They're just happy to have the dinosaur back.
He says that they will be bolting her down real
good though. Here's the gas station owner, John Fawcett, talking

(51:49):
about getting Claire back. You'll never believe it. I said,
what's going on? She says, Claire's home.

Speaker 3 (51:55):
Somebody scared that they're going to.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Be found out. Are you going to Press John, absolutely not.
I'm just glad that Claire's now. It's unclear if the
theft was just some kind of a brank or a stunt,
or if they thought they could get away with it
but then chickened out after the story went viral. Yeah,
I'm just look happy. I'm happy that Claire is back safe.
Do they cut kidnapping deals like this all the time

(52:20):
and movies are maybe just the truck guy doesn't get charged.
I guess I don't know anyway, if you think they
based around you know, I'm open to talking about anything
but love talking about surviving in the stupidity that's always

(52:43):
around us. And if you're insane enough to ask, well,
I'm insane enough to reply, and I would love to
hear from you. You can leave me a message at
podcast dot Insaneric Lane dot com. Leave a comment there
from a podcast, or if you have a question, I'll
be happy to address either one your question or just
might be talked about in a future podcast. And if
you are someone you know would like to join in

(53:05):
on the podcast, you are more than welcome to participate.
If you've got the podbean app on your phone, you
can do just that right from your smartphone just like
the other six hundred thousand podcasters who also use it.
Download the app at your favorite app store and add
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(53:25):
Insanericlaine dot com, and of course you should certainly subscribe
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Amazon Music Player, FM Podchaser, Boom Play, Overcast, pocket Cast Radio, Public, Spotify,
or any other podcast platform. Don't forget to follow me
on Facebook and x at inst Eric.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
Lane Now, b here's de called Eric Laye. If the
Week in Review.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
Part of a twenty story apartment building and the Bronx collapsed,
leaving a corner of the building a pile of rubble,
maybe they can use the debris to fill some of
those potholes and the bronx even the bricks on the
buildings boogie down right. German police closed the Octoberfest fairgrounds

(54:21):
following a bomb threat from the suspected perpetrator of an
explosion in northern Munich. I hope that they don't delay
it too long. You know, November Fest just doesn't have
the same ring to it. You know, you got to
be a special kind of evil to shut down an
event that's mostly poke music and beer and a flight

(54:43):
to South Africa with four hundred people on board abruptly
made a U turn back to Australia after encounting trouble
with its communications system. It was like the captain was
an angry parent or on a road trip. I'll turn
this plane around. The reaction was a of all criky
and this is not good. A contestant on the Wheel

(55:06):
of Fortune won a million, thirty five, one hundred and
fifty five dollars in cash prizes, claiming the biggest personal
payout in the show's history. I mean, pat Seychek has
only been gone a year and already the show's going broke.
I mean she now plans on taking a vacation and
paying off for student loans and getting RSTLNE tattooed on

(55:27):
her shoulder. The CBS will celebrate the thirtieth anniversary of
Everybody Loves Raymond with a ninety minute special host of
b Ray Romano. Of course, if you're like me and
you're freaking out that nineteen ninety six was like thirty
years ago, just take a deep breath and try to
relax because you're old and you have health issues. I
think Kevin James just had a great idea. Internet rumors

(55:52):
say Portia de Rossi is seriously considering time apart from
Ellen DeGeneres over her controlling and obsessive way. Well, now
that Ellen doesn't have a staff to bully Portia, is
I guess catching all that girl boss energy. And while
up to bat, Cleveland Guardians hit or Angel Martinez fouled

(56:12):
off of a one hundred mile per hour fastball that
shattered a camera behind home plate during their game against
the Tigers. Now, who's going to pay for that? Huh?
I bet that gave the cameraman a scare. That's definitely
one way to catch the play. During the government shutdown,
one part of the government will not be disrupted. The
lawmakers in Congress is still going to get their paychecks.

(56:35):
It really seems the only thing that anyone to need
the side of the aisle is willing to put their
signatures on is the back of their paychecks. President Trump
has a team Phfiser to sell its drugs directly to
consumers and discount prices at a government website called Trumparx
Dot Gov. The site will sell the Pfizer drug Viagra

(56:56):
at a deep, deep discount, and that's great. Now their
customers can get stiff without getting stiffed. The White House
withdrew the nomination of economists EJ. And Tony to lead
the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Now that move has ironically
raised the unemployment RADI even higher. Now that he's out

(57:16):
at the Bureau of Labor Statistics, EJ and Tony has
just become another statistic Kim Jong un is deploying undercover
spies to crack down on North Koreans getting breast implants.
The a's and the b's are safe, the s's are
a little suspect, but the d's are definitely getting looked at.

(57:36):
That's a tough gig, you know, getting a woman to
admit she has fake cans. You know, that kind of
information a lady kind of keeps close to her chest.
It was a fifty eight year old man in Pennsylvania
that enrolled in La Hooming College and made their football
team at nose tackle, making him the oldest NCAA Division
III freshmen, and a GoFundMe now has been started for
his icy hot expenses. If this isn't a Bruce Springsteen's

(58:00):
in the making. I don't know what is. A new
review comparing hot yoga and conventional exercise found that hot
yoga doesn't quite live up to the heart health type.
So just because you twist yourself into a pretzel doesn't
mean you need to bake while doing it. I always
thought hot yoga meant no ugly people allowed. At the

(58:23):
twenty twenty eight Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, two events,
softball and canoe slalom, will be held three states away
in Oklahoma City. I didn't even know softball and the
canoe thing were Olympic Games. This is the most exciting
thing to happen in Oklahoma City since well, let's just
say it's the most exciting thing in a while. Going

(58:44):
to be a lot of subarus headed to Oklahoma City
that summer, and then a bit to boost morale and creativity,
startups and tech firms in Silicon Valley are telling employees
that wearing shoes in the office is now optional. If
you walk into one of these offices and there's just
a pile of Birkenstocks at the door, might look like
a tech startup, but it definitely smells like a foot locker.

(59:08):
And in Maryland, two firefighters faced criminal charges after they
flooded a high school baseball field due to a dispute
over baseball's damaging vehicles and fire station property. These guys
are going to get hosed in court. I bet, of course,
it's probably better than settling the baseball setting the baseball
field on fire. Luis c K made his first TV

(59:29):
interview interparents in about eight years. He sat down for
an interview on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher. That's right,
Luis ck is back, and this time he's not jerking around.
The NFL was set to launch both men and women's
professional flag football leagues over the next few years. It's
kind of like regular NFL, but with way less CTE.

(59:51):
I mean, I don't know why. If you watch an
NFL game, I mean there's already a flag on every play.
Latin superstar Bad Bunny is performing the Super Bowl, making
the first time in halftime show history it'll be performed
entirely in Spanish. And if you thought your uncle was
mad last year during Kendrick Lamar, just wait. Something tells
me the Buffalo Chicken dip is going to be extra spicy.

(01:00:13):
This year, the Golden Globes is offering an award for
the Best Podcast for the first time ever, with eligible
nominees including Joe Rogan and Dak Sheppard. Knowing the podcasters,
this is going to be the longest acceptance speech in history,
and next it'll be Best ad Read. The Golden Globes,
brought to you by Better Help Right Aid at once Giant,

(01:00:35):
the pharmacy world is done, closed its doores for good
after years of financial turmoil. I always liked, though, how
bright the inside of the Right Aids were, you know,
I but like you were walking onto the set of
two thousand and one a Space Odyssey. At least CDs
is still open. I mean, you know that way, they'll
lock up everything more expensive than a bar soap. Donald
Trump made his triumphant return to TikTok and posted a

(01:00:57):
video claiming to have saved the platform. He said to
young people, Hey, you Omi dig big Lee. Next week
it'll be I'm bringing back the draft. But the young
people don't mind. They know they owe me big leie
for the TikTok thing.

Speaker 10 (01:01:11):
Well.

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
He ended the video by turning on the cat filter
and doing the Harlem shake. The tomb of Saint Francis,
a CC known for this love of animals in the environment,
will be unsealed to display his remains to the public
for the first time in eight hundred years. I'll be
interested in seeing this. I've been not on day one.
You gotta let it air out a little bit first.

(01:01:32):
You know, Saint Francis of ASSISI loved animals and trees.
You might say he was the first hippie saint. The
Alabama sheriff there is facing some criticism over his Halloween
decorations on his launch that showed skeletons dressed as ice
agents chasing others wearing sombreros. People in my town are

(01:01:53):
facing criticism for putting up Christmas decorations already. I'm not
saying this is cool or I agree with it, but look,
if he's gonna do this, maybe he ought to have
mariachi music playing for full comedic effect. There was a
Connecticut woman who's facing an attempted murder charge after police
said she attempted to slipping at the freeze in her
estrange husband's bottle of wine. Of course, after a sniff,

(01:02:16):
he was thinking, you know, he was getting grapefruit something
earthy and a on automobile coolant. Of course, he then
started to get a bit suspicious when she went to
the tool shed to get him a glass of pinoa
pinoa pinwa Noir. Police on Long Island said they found
more than two hundred animals, ranging from cats and dogs
to flying squirrels and parrots, all living in unhealthy conditions

(01:02:40):
at a hoarder's home. Rather than move everybody to a
different location, they just simply decided to turn the house
into a pet store. Police said the man in charge
mentioned something about an arc when he was being arrested.
A woman in her sixties visiting Disneyland died after suffering
a heart attack on the Haunted Mansion Ride. Of course,
if it wasn't haunted for it definitely is now those

(01:03:02):
worst places to spend the afterlife. I mean, imagine being
stuck on It's a small world for all eternity. A
new survey of a thousand American drivers has revealed brown
vehicles attract the most bird droppings, followed by red and
black cars. I guess you, as birds have a policy
where if they see brown, they set it down. The

(01:03:24):
study survey to a thousand people, you might call it
a stool sample. Supermarket Giant Publics has announced they're going
to be allowing customers to openly carry firearms inside their
Florida stores following a recent court ruling. Ain't nobody cutting
in line in publics? Meanwhile, at Trader Joe's they ask

(01:03:44):
that you just kindly leave your walking sticks outside WNBA.
Rookie Angel Reese has become the first pro athlete invited
to walk the runway as part of the Victoria's Secret
Fashion Show. She is I could have sworn they invited
Larry Bird back in eighty four. Anyway. She's also the
first model to walk the runway with three knockouts under

(01:04:04):
her belt. Judg GPT is finding its way into marriages
and divorces, with Dyscruntald's spouses using the AI to write
breakup messages and even justify arguments. I mean, Grock might
sound like Marjory Taylor Green sometimes, but at least it's
not trying to break up your marriage. Of course, then
they'll use AI to write their new dating profiles. At

(01:04:27):
a certain point, you're just dating your algorithm. New search
shows that most Americans would accept corporate sponsorships for their
wedding that shows how couples are getting a little more
creative about paying for the big day. Of course, I
think most people's weddings are still sponsored by mom and dad,
And nowadays it's really not enough to have a group
rate at the hotel either. I mean, I want my

(01:04:49):
expenses covered by Expedia. And finally, a dairy farm in
California has replaced cow bells with AI powered callers equipped
with Wi Fi, allowing farmers to monitor health and increase
milk production. Soon you won't be able to milk a
cow without registering with an email first. I always thought
cows were bells because their horns didn't work. Call Keep Talk, Call,

(01:05:12):
Call Calm. Get up close and personal with my Stupid
World by interacting with the podcast through in Saint Eric
Lane's Stupid World Telegram channel. I post the actual articles
I use in the podcast episodes every weekend from this
week's collection of stupidity. When you join the channel, you'll

(01:05:35):
get to read the actual stories, see the photos, watch
the amazing videos from the stupidity I talk about in
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About what I've talked about. You can share some links
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(01:05:57):
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Speaker 5 (01:06:24):
I'mth this genius.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
I'm simply a human.

Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
It's like a caveman thing you said no.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
This week's a Genius Award and in this week's Genius Awards,
A Kentucky woman faces criminal charges after causing over one
thousand dollars in damage to a Louisville Little Caesar's restaurant
over a one dollar sauce fee. Louisville police only arrested
Brandon Hayes for the incident at the twenty second Street location.

(01:06:53):
According to authorities, Hayes placed a phone order and requested
extra sauce when picking up her pie. When the staff
informed her of the one dollar charge. Police said, Haines
became angry and destructive. Surveillance footage reportedly captured Haines's knocking
items from the counter, including the computer register. The damage
exceeded over a thousand dollars. Police have not released additional

(01:07:15):
details about what led to the delayed arrest or whether
Haines had entered a plea to the criminal mischief charge.
The one dollar sauce is infuriating. I mean, I totally understand,
but how how are we in this one dollar sauce world?
I mean, this is a crime of passion and injustice.
So Freebury nays, okay. And then there's this. A twenty

(01:07:38):
two year old Minnesota man enrolled at White Bear Lake
Area High School using a fake name, Kelvin C. Perry Junior,
and attended classes for nineteen days before he was discovered.
Kelvin Lubki presented a foreign birth certificate listing his agees eighteen.
He enrolled as a homeless unaccompanied youth, which all requires

(01:08:00):
schools to accept immediately without academic records or residency proof. Yeah,
it's a misunderstanding. Yeah, Lupke says I had a difficult
birth certificate on my other thing in Africa. The superintendent
confirmed Lupki even tried out for the football team. Now,
this marks his second fraudulent enrollment after attending Forest Lake
Area School District without graduating. Students recognized him from a

(01:08:25):
Noka County booking photo. Lupke faces no current charges, but
police are investigating. You know what, I would really never
try to do re enroll in high school. I mean, look,
I've seen all these movies in twenty one. Jump Street
may suck. How about this. A twenty six year old

(01:08:46):
Florida man named Jordan Cotto faces battery charges after allegedly
hurling a cheeseburger at a man outside Atlanta's Gentleman's Club.
Police say Cotto arrived at the Tampa area establishment to
speak with management involved in a verbal dispute. During the argument,
cadder reportedly grabbed a cheeseburger from his vehicle and threw it,

(01:09:07):
struck the mail victim on the shoulder, causing quote bodily harm.
The victims sustained no serious injuries from the incident. When
questioned by officers, Caddo confessed to the crime and stating
he did throw a cheeseburger from his vehicle, and he
would do it again. According to court documents, Cotta was
booked on mister Peter battery charges and released on his

(01:09:28):
own recognisance. A judge ordered him to avoid contact with
a victim, but placed no restrictions on cheeseburger possession. Yeah, well,
thank goodness, the judge is allowing the man to own
future cheese burgers. I mean, yes, I did it again,
and I'd do it again. It's kind of a standard
plea in Florida courts, isn't it? And what about this?

(01:09:49):
Deputies are asking for help locating a woman they say
has stolen from a local dollar store and bitten a
store employee in the process. According to the Montgomery County
Sheriff's Office, a woman was reported to have stolen multiple
items from the Dollar General Store located on North Main
Street and Harrison Township. Deputies said that while she was stealing,

(01:10:10):
she bit an employee who was holding the door shut
to prevent her from leaving. This assault did cause the
employee to suffer from an injury, according to the officials.
Deputies described as a black woman who stands about five
to seven in height, long thin braids that were pulled
together in ponytails. During the incident, the woman was reportedly
wearing a cream colored plaid coat and tan pants. After

(01:10:31):
the incident, it was reported that the woman then ran
toward the intersection of Siue N Boulevard in Forest Park Drive.
Anyone with recognizing this woman should really contact the detective
tailor Gianna Jelly. Of course, these criminals are really not
beating the zombie allegations, you know. But be careful out there, folks.
I mean, the way that everything else is going, the
zombie apocalypse really wouldn't be a surprise. You got to

(01:10:55):
check this one out. An unidentified man attempted to steal
about two one thousand dollars worth of meat from a
restaurant to depot in North Charleston, according to a news
lease from local authorities. North Charleston officers were called to
thirty six hundred Meeting Street in reference to a panic alarm.
While on the scene, law enforcement spoke to two witnesses
who were at regional and corporate managers at the location.

(01:11:18):
It determined that a man loaded up his cart with
two twenty six dollars and seventeen cents worth of meat
before he left the store. According to the police, narrative,
so when the suspect was confronted, one of the managers
was able to recover thirteen hundred and eighty six dollars
and two cents worth of the meat, while the individual
fled the scene with six hundred and forty dollars of merchandise,

(01:11:38):
according to the North Charleston Police Department. Local authorities stated
the suspect attempted to load the meat into a black
Toyota rav four before he was confronted. Now, the similar
incident was also reported by the same witnesses about a
week before. Police said it involved the same suspect and vehicle,
and the individual allegedly stole more than six thousand dollars

(01:11:59):
worth of meat. No rest in the case has been made, though,
according to police. But look, bro had some barbecue planned.
I guess right, you're going to be about twelve hundred
dollars in stak short and those regional and corporate manager
witnesses got a taste of real life that day. You'll
never believe this one. A four hour armed stand off

(01:12:20):
with police and Pullham Washington ended after officers there delivered
a dairy queen blizzard and a hamburger to forty year
old Elijah Reagan's vehicle via a tactical robot. Reagan had
used a mortar to shoot fireworks into his Pullman apartment ceilings,
sparking a fire that damaged eight units and forced dozens
who evacuate. His estranged wife told police Reagan calder and

(01:12:44):
said I bombed my apartment and claimed bad people were
after him, all smoking methamphetamine. Reagan led officers on a
high speed chase in his twenty twelve Kia Sedona before
the spike strips disabled the vehicle. Well. Police found the shotgun,
the bottle, rockets, the fire log, and lighter fluid inside.
During the surrender negotiations, Reagan requested a meal from Dairy

(01:13:05):
Quayne as a condition, and according to a police commander,
Reagan now faces arson and eluding charges. This would make
a great viral marketing campaign, you know, for the hungry arsonist.
That's definitely a good reminder to pick up a burger
and a blizzard before you shoot fireworks into your apartment.

(01:13:26):
It might be a little hungry, okay. One more a
fifty eight year old Ohio and her sixty two year
old husband's woman. A fifty year old Ohio woman and
her sixty two year old husband were arrested after they
stole two main coon cats from a couple in Cuyahoga
County fairgrounds. The victim, also an Indiana resident, said she

(01:13:48):
had purchased both cats from the Mishawaka woman. She paid
thirty five hundred dollars for one cat forty five hundred
dollars for the other. The Mishawaka woman later told the
police that she never received full payment for one of
those cats. The victim and her husband took both of
those felines to a cat show at the fairgrounds. The
cats are going to be part of that show, so

(01:14:09):
the victim and her husband parked their car. They were
rolling their cats and wheeled carriers into the fair grounds
when the Mishawaka woman and her husband attacked from behind.
The husband threw the victim to the ground. The woman
grabbed the cat carriers and hurried them back to her vehicle,
while her husband swung his arms and elbows to keep
the victims away from her. Now, the Mischiauaka woman yelled

(01:14:32):
at the victim, you owe us money. The victim's hand
was injured due to the fall, and her legs were bruised. Nevertheless,
she ran toward the woman's vehicle in an effort to
retrieve the cats. The woman's husband blocked her. The woman
tried to back her Toyota rav four over the victim,
Her husband jumped into the ESSUV, and the two sped off.

(01:14:52):
The victims gave the Toyota license plate number to police.
Licensed plate reading cameras posted throughout the area indicated that
the ESSUEV was headed back to Indiana.

Speaker 7 (01:15:02):
Well.

Speaker 1 (01:15:02):
The victim said the Mishawaka couple knew that they were
going to attend the cat show with the two cats. Originally,
the Mischwauka woman was going to help the victim show
the cats well. That same evening, Elkhart County Sheriff's deputies
in Indiana pulled over the rat for and arrested the
Mishawaka couple. The cats were unharmed in their resue. The
woman told police that they were entitled to take one

(01:15:23):
of those cats because the victim had not entirely paid
for it. They said they did not intend to take
the other cat. The victim drove to Elkhart County to
recover the cats. The Mischiwaka couple now faces charges of robbery,
fellon e, theft and assault. This is really a movie
in the making. You know, best in show goes True Crime. Yeah,

(01:15:43):
well let's see Mishawaka, Kyahoga, Kyahoga Mishawaka. Well, don't forget
to spread the stupidity, and please share the podcast on
social media with all those five star stupidity you've heard.
It deserves a five star rating. Of course you subscribe,
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(01:16:04):
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And test your stupidity with Poncho in our weekly insane
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(01:16:25):
the way, all the links to these very real stories
are published in the telegram messenger after each of the
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(01:16:46):
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visit my website at insanericlaim dot com and finally, ponder this. Okay,
my emotional support animal is actually a chicken, a four
piece actually with a biscuit. Call cha, call cool, good Chong,

(01:17:10):
call good, Call calm. It's all your.

Speaker 10 (01:17:16):
Insane Eric Lane's Stupid World is produced with the support
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Comedy at the United Stations Radio Network, Sheet Happens dot Com,
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Speaker 5 (01:17:31):
Music from Randy stone Hill. It's a Great, big Stupid
World copyright nineteen ninety two Stonehillian Music, Word Music, Twitch
and Vibes Music and is available anywhere you've purchased music.

Speaker 4 (01:17:41):
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