R-Rated Fortune Cookies Mixup; Company Sex Day; & Spunk In Space

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Everything you are about to hear is true.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
None of the names have been changed because no one
is innocent from stupidity.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
It is a great bay stupid world, increasing as it's
well great stupid, gay, stupid, way stupid.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome to Insane Eric Lane's stupid world.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
And if you see something stupid, say something stupid.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
And now here's the man who has given a piece
of his mind to so many people. He barely has
a mind left, the host of this stupid world, Eric Lane.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Welcome to my stupid world. I've got five stars stupidity
for you, so please rate the podcast with five stars.
My Insane Florida ne f you, Pado Guero and I
will underwhelm you with some of the dumbest stupidity and
test your sanity with the Insane game show. So relax
and let your mind go to mush as you enter
the realm of reality. Sometimes, you know, the Internet is

(01:13):
just an open playground for people to come out and
show their stupidity. I love that. That's one of the
things I enjoy about this podcast, especially. You know, we've
had the Internet now for what twenty five, thirty five,
forty five years, I don't know. Yeah, and you know

(01:34):
now we're at the point where there are people who
are alive who have never known life prior to having
an online experience, and yet we have we have this
where the internet just naturally brings out stupidity in people.

(01:56):
And and you know, Karma is having a heyday. We
get this kidless woman making a rant, and of course,
what better place to make a rant than on social media.
Of course you can make a jackass out of yourself
on social media all the time. So she's ranting and

(02:19):
raving about parents bringing their kids to Costco. Okay, of
course after her rant, she had now call back and
delete the post. I love this, but see there are
things now called screenshots that will cause these things to
live on forever. But it all began when a fitness instructor,

(02:42):
her name is Brighton, who frankly isn't very bright. She asks,
why do we have to go to Costco with the
whole family? Why are mom and dad and then three
freaking kids here?

Speaker 5 (03:00):
Now?

Speaker 1 (03:00):
This is this is this is the video, and then
the text over her rent reads, quote stop making Costco
a family trip. Oh you know, we already know that
this is just going to hit people the wrong way.
And so many on so many levels. The woman's rent
included her saying that Costco is crazy enough. End quote.

(03:24):
I can't imagine tracking three little kids around there. That
just seems like my own person. Oh hell, well, what
kind of backlash do you think this ignoramus got? Huh? Yeah,
well she got plenty of it. And oh man, parents
they were they were shoveling in the back at her.
You know, so, after getting so much of a tidal

(03:47):
wave of this slap back, she deleted her to post. Yeah, okay,
you can delete your post, but your damage is already done.
You know, you might want to go back and delete
your life life. After that, she did have to come
back and apologize. I guess she, as my mother used
to say, she got brought down to her milk. Okay,

(04:11):
all right. Several people pointed out that they take their
kids with them because it's their job, while others asked
if parents are supposed to get a babysitter just to
go to Costco. The woman said she initially just had
a bad experience and didn't realize Costco was a sacred

(04:33):
time for families. Right right, You're the idiot that had
a bad experience, and so you take it out on
the rest of the human population. That's the way it works, right,
It's all about me. It's all about my experience. And
because I had a bad experience, you have to do this, well,

(04:54):
a woman said, you know, unfortunately, I guess apologize. It's
an explain all you want to. The damage is done, sister.
I guess her name will forever be associated with the
phrase until you have kids. Right, So yeah, whenever she
has kids, I'm sure that it'll hold you a whole
new ball game.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
Right.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Well, look, I guess she's glad that the families have
different ways of spending time together. But I love the comments.
Some of the comments were absolutely priceless. It's kind of
like one of them says, well, look, we take our
kids to Costco because it's the law, sort of. Or
one mom in the comment says, I take my children

(05:37):
with me everywhere because I'm like their mom. But my
favorite feedback was this line, Costco is for families. What
are you doing there? You know, that's another thing the
internet is great for is great zingers.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
Man.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
I found some great singers from people on the internet.

Speaker 6 (05:57):
You know.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
I guess the young woman now has learned that judgment
only feels satisfying when you're the one serving it. Just
a piece of my mind, you know. Yeah. Okay, it's
my podcast. I can rant if I want to, and
if you want to complain about it, then I'll delete
your comment. I'm not going to delete my podcast. Okay,

(06:19):
So there, betid.

Speaker 4 (06:26):
It's a stupid word, right.

Speaker 7 (06:34):
Help spread the stupidity, Share, rate and review the podcast
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(06:57):
helps it stand out when people are searching for stupidity.
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(07:20):
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(07:44):
for mail.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
For mail, catch delegator in the tesh can begin, do it?

Speaker 4 (07:51):
No one can come.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
On now for man and we are live from Jacksonville, Florida.
The Insane Florida nephew, who is apparently Pajo Guido, has
had a really tumultuous week. I guess maybe between work
and kids.

Speaker 4 (08:10):
It's been a weird week. Is it I only one
with a weird vibe about this week?

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah, well, it's February. Blame it on February. Weird stuff
happens in February.

Speaker 5 (08:20):
It's it's a month of love.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Well yeah, but it's also the dead of winter. No,
it's just the dead way to me. See what we've
been having here in Pennsylvania. See January, we get the
cold weather, you might get some snow. March you kind
of anuate a spring and you start to feel like
a thaw in the air, even though you might get
some snow. February, if we're going to get a northeaster

(08:47):
or an ice storm or something like that, it's going
to be in February. And so far, like every week
we've had like a slurpy you know.

Speaker 8 (08:56):
It actually has got a little bit chilly again here,
like really windy the other day and it'sh brisk. But
I say that, but like it was like seventy five
and eighty like last week, so beautiful.

Speaker 9 (09:09):
Let's just say, well, let's just say for me February.
I spend more money on car washes in February because
there's so much crap on the road being slopped up
on my car.

Speaker 5 (09:20):
Well, so we've already got the blanket of pollen on
some of our cars.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
This isn't poland, this is salt and slop and slop
and stuff off the road gets I'm I won't to
what is No, it's it's slops. So it's something you
get behind the tractor trailers and your whole car is
like white from all the salt or magnesium or the
whatever does they treat the roads, you know, so you're

(09:45):
always washing it off and it just seems like February
is that month is just like ugh, you know, I
just want to get through February, you know.

Speaker 5 (09:54):
I guess so I definitely feel the February slub for sure.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, I have.

Speaker 4 (10:01):
A head February.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Yeah, well, I've looked ahead on the ACU weather website
and we're looking at maybe fifties, mid fifties in March,
so I'm looking forward to that. That'll be nice weather
for me.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (10:15):
Well, well, welcome to the podcast, everybody, the podcast where
we talk about the weather.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
I just finished off my Bojangles hard sweet tea that
myself thought me.

Speaker 5 (10:26):
That sounds disgusting. Actually revaulting's too.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Bad, too bad. You know, the little sweet tea with
a little kick.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
Does it does it have like, you know how like
some kind of like bottles of tequila have like a
worm or scorpion at the bottom.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
No, no, no.

Speaker 5 (10:43):
No, the Bojangles uh like sweet tea had come with
like a biscuit soaking at the bottom.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
No, no, no, it's not not not quite, not quite.
But but hey, I didn't tell you this. I got
I come in today. Of course, I've had just a
slow week myself because with all the ice and that,
we have high winds that came roaring through here this
week and.

Speaker 4 (11:09):
Here, but they weren't probably not as high as your
winds are.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Oh man, they were like fifteen sixty miles an hour
coming through here.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
And tell this that's nothing. That's nothing.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah, well, true, this is true. Well, anyway, our transmitter
for the radio station that I work at is I
don't know who designed to put it out there, but
it's in the middle of a forest, and so inevitably
if we get high winds, we go off the air
because a tree gets knocked down or something and it
blows the power out. So we've been off the air

(11:39):
for like three days. So I come in and all
I'm really doing I have.

Speaker 10 (11:43):
To do the news and do other things for the
other two stations in the building, but I just come back.
Then I have plenty of time to just surf the
internet and look for stupid stories for the podcast.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
So that's what I've been doing all this week. Okay,
so it's been a pretty slow week for me. But
then I come home today and I got something in
the mail I haven't received in several years. I got
my official postcard saying I get to go to jury duty.

Speaker 11 (12:11):
Oh.

Speaker 5 (12:11):
I thought you were gonna say go to jail or something.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Well, I'll be going to jail if I don't go
to jury duty. So so so so yeah, I'll be
having jury duty coming up in April. Look at that.

Speaker 5 (12:24):
I've never once gotten any kind of jury duty anything.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Well, look, well I've got a plan worked out. I'm
just gonna tell him. Look, I work for like a
radio station, and I know all of the propaganda about
the trial, so you know, I'm I don't know whether
I'm going to be very biased on this thing or not.
And if that doesn't work, I'll just say, well, can
we bring back firing squads.

Speaker 5 (12:49):
My wife was called the jury duty once and she
made it like she did not make it past the
first round basically.

Speaker 4 (12:58):
Apparently the dying thing or whatever.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
And right right, and they kind of.

Speaker 5 (13:03):
Like, you know, my mother comes back, she's like, did
you know that on each driver's license it says that
you may be subject to you know, how to do
like a like a breathalyzer whatever there, And well, garally,
the guy that was pulled over refused to do the
breathalyzer and so they technically didn't have a breathalyzer there
to prove it. And my wife immediate was like, if

(13:25):
you refuse to take it, then obviously you're guilty. And
magically she does not show up to be after she
was not called to kill back.

Speaker 4 (13:31):
So that's to me, that's the trick.

Speaker 5 (13:35):
And the funny thing is, like, my wife is so
gentle and kind, but yeah, she's like straight up with
stuff like that. Dude, She's like, well obviously, like I mean,
like she's more capital punished and you know, she's like
some people deserve it, mann.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
But she does.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
But she does it in a very kind, sweet, gentle way.

Speaker 5 (13:55):
Oh yeah, you feel you feel delighted hearing it from her,
you know. So then, to me, is the trick to
getting out of jury duty?

Speaker 4 (14:03):
I've learned from her.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Absolutely, she doesn't to get.

Speaker 4 (14:06):
Out of it.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
This is just like she was just telling you what
she thought it would be.

Speaker 4 (14:11):
Uh well, like.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this.
I mean, is she one of these kind of moms
that take their kids to Costco?

Speaker 4 (14:22):
Who else where else do you do go to Costco?

Speaker 12 (14:25):
For?

Speaker 4 (14:26):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (14:26):
Of course, Hey, the kids love Costco because they're constantly
looking out for the samples and yes, half the time,
I'm like, you won't like this, you won't and then
they like then they just look at it for like
five minutes and.

Speaker 4 (14:40):
I'm like oh yeah, and they're like yeah, see, so
there you have it.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
Come on, man, right there Costco is a family trip
right there.

Speaker 4 (14:47):
Well, right off the bat.

Speaker 5 (14:48):
Anyways, what what single or non kid people need Costco
size anything?

Speaker 4 (14:55):
That's true, That's that's my first say.

Speaker 5 (14:59):
I know no one is going to eat a Costco
size thing of sheep yogurt on their own.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
It's right, this is true, And you've been eating sheep
yogurt yourself.

Speaker 4 (15:09):
My wife keeps springing at home, and I've got sheep everywhere.

Speaker 5 (15:14):
Now, Costco is like a family like like like even
to the point where like I viewed.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
As a chore, Like I went to Costco on the
day off. I have my day off of the because
I follow like President.

Speaker 5 (15:31):
Right exactly, Stock Exchange Holiday, so I get the day off.

Speaker 4 (15:35):
My oldest son goes to co op homeschool call off
on Mondays.

Speaker 5 (15:38):
So yeah, so normally I was like, I was looking
forward to having the day off, and it's like, all right,
it's some some alone.

Speaker 4 (15:44):
Time without the chaos.

Speaker 5 (15:46):
And then naturally, you know, my youngest gets sick, yeah,
fever the night before, which is probably what my son had.
It was like a twenty four hour like stomach.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
But there you go.

Speaker 5 (15:56):
It goes around, right, So I'm like, all right, well
I guess him and I are just going to run
some chores together. So I take my youngest to Costco
and he's great, Like it was great, it was a
good time. But like I go to Costco on my
own with the kids and my wife is like, oh
I want.

Speaker 4 (16:11):
To go with you. That's that's just how it is.
It's like a family thing. So yeah, you're mind. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
To me, I just thought the comments so that little
was great. You know, Like I said, my my favorite
feedback was Costco is for family. So what are you
doing there?

Speaker 5 (16:34):
Exactly right, yeah, exactly one of these. Man, Well, like
I think we should just jump right in here.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
Why not? Why not?

Speaker 4 (16:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (16:46):
I was going to ask you if you've taken the
kids to a Chinese restaurant and had their fortunes read.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
Yeah, well no I haven't.

Speaker 5 (16:53):
I don't know if my wife would be down for
this whole fortune telling thing. She's very brew how video
a verse, Yes, yes, anything that resembles witchcraft.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
I was like, oh no, don't. She'd be like I
was speaking to him of Jesus over that.

Speaker 5 (17:10):
She's very very much like if there's a show that
we're watching or something that like all of a sudden
someone like does like a ghost hunting thing or whatever
for that episode, She's like, you're muting this, like you're
either turning this off around muting parts of it.

Speaker 4 (17:25):
So she would not spoken aloud in our house.

Speaker 1 (17:27):
She would not. She would not then like the episodes
of Dark Shadows, I was binging where they're reading your
palm either this is.

Speaker 4 (17:34):
Yeah, this is like, yeah, you watching to be still shows.
I've gotten it. It's great.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
I'm almost at the end of the entire series at
this point. It went from nineteen sixty nine to nineteen
seventy one, so I'm in the last year of the
series at this point.

Speaker 4 (17:54):
This long to get through it? Oh yeah, mostly? Yeah,
through that in a weekend.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Well right, but I I mean I got a job.
I got a job. Okay, I do what I can.

Speaker 5 (18:03):
You a job that you just admitted that you all
week have been going to work with nothing to.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
Do, nothing to do this week, that's rights.

Speaker 4 (18:11):
The two b app not work on your phone or something.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh no, it does. I watch it on my phone.
Oh yeah, absolutely right there. Well, so this.

Speaker 5 (18:20):
Will show you like the generation gap between us. My
main TV comes from YouTube basically, Well yeah, and there's
a YouTube channel that my wife and I used to
watch back when we were dating, and we forgot about it.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
And we're reminded.

Speaker 5 (18:33):
So we've been watching this YouTube channel called proper People,
and basically we watch a couple of people commit maybe
is it felony misdemeanors or just regular misdemeanors.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Well you could be either one. Right, They of like.

Speaker 5 (18:49):
Of trespassing, right, it's not breaking entry, but like they
basically go out to these abandoned buildings or locations and
they'd like they take video cameras with them and they
just kind.

Speaker 13 (19:02):
Of urban explore these areas well, you know, so it
might be like a mansion that is like that just
like became into disrepair and is is this kind of
not open to the public.

Speaker 5 (19:15):
But like right, as they're not breaking a window to
get in, but there's already a door.

Speaker 4 (19:20):
Or window broken, they can walk in.

Speaker 5 (19:22):
They walk in, and the most are going to get
trespassing and the ass they don't take anything with them
as a souvenir.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
Then they don't get.

Speaker 5 (19:30):
Caught for stealing and stuff, but like every once in
a while they do have to keep it one.

Speaker 4 (19:33):
For cameras and things. But like you get to see them.

Speaker 5 (19:35):
Out and like sometimes other countries are in the US
looking at like old like like mining like like.

Speaker 4 (19:42):
Tunnels, or then like well abandoned ghost town of an
amusement park or.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
Have they been Have they been to Centralia, Pennsylvania.

Speaker 5 (19:51):
I they may have, but but usually looking at like
an individual location, like a building, so like it'll be like, oh,
there's this old sam Arrian the closed down or an
old like a nuclear power plant. That's just and you
got to see overgrowth from like the you know, the earth,
like claiming it or just like you know, kind of
in a sense beautiful decay if that makes sense right.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Well, I's gonna say that's centrally a Pennsylvania would be
perfect because this is a town that was literally made
to evacuate, so it is a full blown ghost town.

Speaker 4 (20:24):
I've wanted to visit for a long time there.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, and it sits right on top of like an
active burning coal mine and so there's like smoke coming
up like.

Speaker 4 (20:34):
The road and stuff.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, it's crazy. That'd be a perfect place for them
to go.

Speaker 5 (20:39):
But if you're someone that like there's not really any
drama in any of it.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
It's very chill.

Speaker 5 (20:44):
You feel that you're just hanging out with a couple
of guys exploring like abandoned places, and it's something that
we kind of enjoy it. They'll sometimes you know, go
into like the history of that building or some things
that they find the other cool or like a working
Windows ninety five computer at.

Speaker 4 (21:01):
Like an old hospital or something like man things like that, like,
but it's pretty we enjoyed.

Speaker 5 (21:06):
It's really chill and relaxing. So look, yeah, I'll throw
it out there.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
That's kind of your kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
What check that out?

Speaker 5 (21:15):
But yeah, so look for the longest time, I'll jump
into the stories here.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
So again, and it's your first thing the podcast. Welcome.

Speaker 5 (21:27):
I'm I'm not Eric Lane, this is it.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
I'm Pals your the nephew.

Speaker 5 (21:35):
Yes, yes, we're unfortunately related, And.

Speaker 4 (21:41):
Basically we like to just rip on the stupidity in
the world. And I like to make fun of Eric,
and I think Eric likes the abuse.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
I enjoy the abuse, that's right. So for the.

Speaker 5 (21:54):
Longest time, I've always said that this would be a
brilliant idea, like instead of fortune cookies, like omen cookies,
like like you open up a fortune cookie and it's
just like you know, you're going to have good luck
for two days, but watch out on the third day. Yeah,
you're like what you know, or like someone is talking
right now, and you know, want just make it a

(22:17):
little insettled, uncomfortable.

Speaker 4 (22:19):
I think it'd be hilarious.

Speaker 5 (22:20):
Well, oh yeah, this kind of accidentally happened to a
group of restaurants making kind of like my dream come true.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
Right, Uh would make for a memorable Valentine's Day dinner
too as well. You know, my wife and I the
day after Valentine's Day, we went out.

Speaker 5 (22:35):
I got some raw oysters and we got some crack
cakes and just like yeah, went to.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
Town on some seafood.

Speaker 5 (22:42):
I wish I could have gotten some of these fortune
cookies afterwards. There's there's a Vietnamese place in Australia that
hands out custom r rated fortune cookies. Customers love it, right,
So they recently ordered a new matchup for Valentine's Day,
and and how could they not love it?

Speaker 4 (22:58):
Right?

Speaker 5 (22:58):
Like, there are restaurants them around around calling you names
to visit there. You probably love places like that anyway,
Oh yeah, absolutely absolutely so.

Speaker 4 (23:09):
Like the Fortune Cookie Company, though they made a big mistake,
they got the message right, right, right.

Speaker 5 (23:16):
The messages are correct, but they accidentally shift them to
the other restaurants that bought normal fortune cookies.

Speaker 4 (23:23):
So, so imagine getting like a bad rated fortune cookies
in your So people who got the fortunes were quite upset.
What I'm told.

Speaker 5 (23:35):
Here's the type of things that they got when they
cracked op from their cookie. Not all of them were dirty,
but once said that you're capable of great things, but
all you do is look at your phone all day.

Speaker 4 (23:45):
You won't be that great.

Speaker 5 (23:46):
Sorry, You've also got one that that was dirty, and
it said the year of snake bears good fortune.

Speaker 4 (23:54):
Your divorce is coming soon.

Speaker 5 (23:56):
Oh and then it ended by saying that spouse only
married you for your money. You ugly And they actually
put the real sea word there and the restaurant ordered them.
Why would someone be upset about that?

Speaker 4 (24:11):
Now?

Speaker 1 (24:12):
No, I can't imagine the restaurant.

Speaker 5 (24:17):
I will say, if I got that fortune cookie, it
would be saved forever.

Speaker 6 (24:21):
In my.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Haven't haven't laminade somewhere.

Speaker 4 (24:25):
I still have a I was given.

Speaker 5 (24:28):
Way back, like when I met my wife, like eight
or nine years ago. I was working as a bank
teller at the time, and uh, someone came in and
gave me a business card that was for plutonic cuddling
and plutonic color therapy, and and show me like three
business cards or something.

Speaker 4 (24:44):
I gave one of them out to I've had.

Speaker 5 (24:46):
I've held on to them close because if I'm going
to give it out to someone like, I'm not getting
that back, you know. So I've been very choosy about
who I hand them out to. Right, I would keep
this with me, like a plutonic cuddling a business card,
business card. Well, like the restaurant that ordered them found

(25:08):
out about it when the company emailed to say that
they weren't doing swear words anymore.

Speaker 4 (25:13):
Maybe maybe that's just in case another mix up happens.
It helps save them.

Speaker 13 (25:20):
You know.

Speaker 4 (25:21):
Incident there, the restaurant.

Speaker 5 (25:23):
Owners said it was their mistake, not hers, but they
said they weren't taking any chances. Yeah. Now, unfortunately you
can't get a sea word in your fortune cookie. And
oh well in Australia anymore, so I'll say anything in
Australia anyways. They'll still do silly messages or even rude ones,

(25:44):
just no profanity.

Speaker 4 (25:46):
Yeah, that's what they That's what really got people upset,
I think.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
Yeah, well, right, just you know, just you have a
little too much fun. It's kind of like, you know,
you're you're running with scisors until somebody gets stabbed.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
You know.

Speaker 5 (25:58):
I'm just I like to say that, like I was
right about the Omen Cookie. I think it's I think
it's still a big seller. Would I think it would
do great here in the States.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Sure, absolutely. I mean it's it's kind of like, you know,
people love to be insulted by Don Rickles, the old
comedian Don Rickles, you know, and it's like people would
would just would would want him to just insult them.
And if they got insulted with Don Rickles, it was
like the highest Uh.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
I'm desperately trying to bring in.

Speaker 5 (26:27):
A younger audience here, and you keep.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
Okay, well look look, I mean I don't know who
else can insult anybody better than Don Rickles. Okay, come on,
I mean honestly, so, I mean, but look nothing like
nothing like you know, uh, having yourself completely demeaned unexpectedly
by fortune cookies. That uses all kinds of ugly words
whenever you're trying to read your fortune. But nothing can

(26:55):
be as humiliating as having a biblical experien varience like
Jonah and the whale. All right, this is crazy, all
right there. Unfortunately it ended well so there was no
no injuries. But this is some crazy footage of a
kayaker named Adrian Simankez and he's getting swallowed by a whale,

(27:21):
literally a whale. It stunned social media users around the world. Okay,
so the twenty three year old says that the ordeal,
He said, it's been a second realizing I was inside
the mouth of something and maybe it had eaten me.
Then it could have been an orca or a sea monster. Well,
it all began, basically, he said, he began to think

(27:41):
about how he could survive inside a whale when just
as suddenly, the mammal spit him back out, just like
I said, a Joan and the whale story all right.
Now here is Adrian telling the holy thing from his perspective.

Speaker 14 (27:56):
It was one second where I thought that I was
eating by some kind of giant fish, but I didn't.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
Know it was a whale.

Speaker 14 (28:05):
Suddenly I felt like a wave struck me from behind,
and I turned around some blue, dark colors and white
lashing right through my face, and I felt a slimy
texture in my cheek, and then it shot down on me,
took me onder water. I closed my eyes because I
thought that something would crash into my face.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Now, Samakas described the inside of the whale's mouth as slimy,
which would be about as good of a description as
I would have expected. The kayaker was paddling off Chile's
coast with his father, and his father was right there
with the now viral footage. So watching your son getting
swallowed by a whale, okay. He said the whale was

(28:49):
likely probably feeding on a school of fish, and let's
just say it unintentionally scooped up the kayak along with
its meal. According to the conservationist, through shed Jacobson's seabird,
who is commedy. But you know, I mean, I guess
maybe the orca didn't feel like a kayak was the
type of fiber he was looking for, you know.

Speaker 4 (29:14):
Fire fiber.

Speaker 5 (29:16):
I mean, well, I guess I would be I guess
for carbon fiber, maybe car right then?

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Yeah, I can't you imagine.

Speaker 5 (29:24):
That's one of those where I see the headline, I'm like,
I've got to watch the video to this one.

Speaker 4 (29:28):
Yeah, and uh it is. I can't imagine that.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (29:34):
Now, as if the open ocean was.

Speaker 5 (29:35):
Not as terrifying as anything else on this planet could be, right,
you know, even the friendly things like whales are apparently
to get you.

Speaker 4 (29:47):
Yeah, well look maybe this kuy that I.

Speaker 5 (29:50):
Say, this kayaker was lucky to get spit back out.
But if he wasn't spit out from the whales mouth,
then you know, maybe for the whales glad.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
And that would have been in sight to see.

Speaker 5 (30:07):
Yes, it was Eric's laughing because he's piecing together now
that I'm trying to transition the word.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
Global over to maybe another kind of blow.

Speaker 5 (30:21):
To get paid time off for uh, this is a
look I could look, I'm just gonna stay here that
I could use one of these about now, especially with
how schedule has been apparently companies sanctioned sex days could
be coming. Yes, everybody, it's it's paid time off to

(30:42):
get freaky to quote boost productivity and workplace loyalty. Do
they expect you to to get on at the office
or is this one of those like work from home deals?

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Well, yeah, that's true a.

Speaker 4 (30:57):
Little do that. I know when you're working from home.
Three day is a set you're working for a home.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah, you're working at home I wish.

Speaker 5 (31:04):
Yeah, I wish I could say that. But look, they
want the day off to get it on. Basically, they
want to get off on their day off. Yes, knocking
boots instead of clocking in increases employee productivity.

Speaker 15 (31:20):
According to new data on the benefits of taking sex
days off of work off the job, sex days are
dedicated time off for intimacy, health and related needs.

Speaker 5 (31:32):
Those are the kind of needs that I'd rather not
voice at my work show. I don't know, like this
is the kind of something gets you to a pr nightmare,
like an HR kind of disaster. But this is what
researchers explained from ZIP Health and Online Pharmacy and UH
serving eight hundred staffers and Twitter managers across all adult

(31:55):
age demographics gen Z, the millennials, gen X, and baby
boomer the analysts babing boomers. Analysts found the fifty percent
of nine to fivers who've ditched the desk to get
down and dirty experienced a rise in their work output.

Speaker 4 (32:10):
I guess you could say.

Speaker 5 (32:11):
That the rise of the work output is is correlated
with their rise in their Yes, yes, they're slacks, I guess,
because we're talking.

Speaker 16 (32:21):
About yeah, right right, right right, it's a new sick day, right,
but instead of staying home and taking meds, they're getting
busy shaking the bed.

Speaker 5 (32:34):
But either way they're still spending time in bed, so
I think it counts. Yeah, it's true. Half the employees
who have taken a sex day reported a noticeable boost
and the productivity afterwards, say study authors, hinting out the
potential organizational advantages of embracing sexual wellness initiatives. Now that's banging. Yeah.

(32:57):
I might bring this up to my boss tomorrow when
I think.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
Absolutely, let me know what your boss says. Actually, Look,
if if the boss takes takes your idea, you will
be the most beloved co worker in the whole company.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
That is true, I will, I will become a legend. Uh,
this is very certain, a little bit, but beyond getting
to enjoy it in an all day.

Speaker 5 (33:22):
Weekend roll in the hay, some hanky panky, time away
from the daily grind, just with the doctor ordered, especially
when it comes to supporting one's mental health, Uh, sexpert Tara,
And this is to get to this sub type hoorn,
And that can't be Is that like a genre of pornography?

Speaker 4 (33:41):
I don't know, because porn actually in her real name.
Yeah really yeah, Well she's a professor, professor Tye porn.

Speaker 5 (33:53):
I guess I'm gonna that sounds that sounds too close
to child porn, am I?

Speaker 1 (33:58):
I know? Is this like a Okay she is.

Speaker 5 (34:02):
She's University of California, Fullerton. Okay, so she'll break it.
An increase in enrollment after this.

Speaker 4 (34:09):
Uh.

Speaker 5 (34:10):
She recently warned that all work and no play can
cause stress, anxiety, depression, and anger. And it does make Jack.

Speaker 4 (34:17):
A dull boy as well.

Speaker 5 (34:20):
But the us n W I can't talk to the dude,
the not safe for work, No one all advise that
the negative emotions associated with overworking and under shagging, which.

Speaker 4 (34:33):
That's it's the word I need to add into my
vocabulary more often.

Speaker 5 (34:38):
I'm feeling a little undershagged today. We Well, they can,
like a kid, zap the pleasure out of doing the
do once.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
Arms out the little time.

Speaker 5 (34:49):
Intimacy investigators for ZIP Health to underscore the benefits of
blinking to a hirelings overall well being. The anxiets revealed
that nearly sixty percent of employees said addressing sexual health
at work could improve mental health, which would in turn
impact work performance. Analysts also found that nearly sixty percent

(35:10):
of employees felt prioritizing sexual wellness could reduce burnout or absenteeism.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
Yeah right.

Speaker 5 (35:19):
Unsurprisingly, younger members of the workforce, deen ziers and millennials,
labor and labors ranging in age from like eighteen to
forty three are all in favor of sex days. That's
because they're the only ones that probably have it working
anymore at that point. Read Winners and tech, healthcare, and
finance showed the highest enthusiasm for the for the X
rated respites. In fact, like the demand for companies sanctioned

(35:43):
sex days six days that sex days, I can't like
either paid.

Speaker 4 (35:48):
Or they'll take it unpaid as well.

Speaker 5 (35:50):
This is well, yeah, sure, which is I assume would
be most of the men.

Speaker 4 (35:55):
Maybe the men might be more okay.

Speaker 5 (35:57):
With that, right, They say, so great, that folks on
the clock, and that's clock.

Speaker 4 (36:03):
With an L in the middle of it.

Speaker 5 (36:05):
Okay, So when you're not on the clock, you're on
the Yeah. They said that they'd happily forego other work
kirks in exchange for the green light to get freaky
for the report. So who needs help savings accounts next year?
When you can get five days a year to just
get it on, that's right.

Speaker 4 (36:26):
Yeah, But.

Speaker 5 (36:28):
A staggering twenty three percent agreed to forfeit pre meals
and stacks from the job, while seventeen percent would eagerly
lose out on employee recognition programs. Yeah, oh yeah, I
got all the recognition I need, you know, And that's right.
Who needs Yeah, I want people to recognize that I
got laid. I don't want people to recognize my work performance, okay, right,

(36:54):
you know, And they said if it would like lose,
if it meant that they'd be granted a twenty.

Speaker 4 (36:59):
Four hours of guilt free ca noodling.

Speaker 5 (37:05):
When I say twenty four hours, I'm like, are we
talking about like, you know, you know, three days for
the week, or are.

Speaker 4 (37:12):
We talking about like.

Speaker 5 (37:14):
Like a twenty four hour time spand you know eight
hours wow ago.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
That would be it.

Speaker 12 (37:19):
Yeah, well, Hot to Trot job holders would also gladly
sacrifice paid time off, remote work and annual bonuses for
the freedom to conduct some midweek funny business.

Speaker 4 (37:31):
Twenty percent of underling.

Speaker 5 (37:32):
Said that they'd even consider leaving their current job for
one that offers sex days as part of its spend it.
All I know is that if I stare getting offered
sex days, I'm going to have to make it explicitly
clear to my wife that it is implied that it
has to be an eight hour work day in the
bedroom if I'm taking a sex day.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah. Wow, it sounds like that this might be something that,
you know, employers can do to save a little money
on extra perks while getting a better productivity from their workers.
You know, yeah, I mean I think this this financially
might be beneficial in more ways than one.

Speaker 4 (38:13):
As long as you don't have any zoom meetings at
the same time.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
Well, yeah, right. Of course, most people, if they're working
from home, they're pantsless anyway, So you.

Speaker 5 (38:23):
Know, it's not uncommon to me in the warmer months
to be sitting down my office at home.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yeah, there it is. Stay there. So you're you're already
halfway there, frankly, you know so, but yeah, you're, you're
you can you can sort of like have your have
your sex day and do a little cat and around
on your sick on your company sex day. There was
a there was a drunk guy doing a little cat

(38:50):
and around, but it wasn't on a sex day. It
was on a cop all right, this, this is our
law enforcement. I have to say, deserve all the respect
because the stuff they have to put up with. I've
never seen this happen to a cop before, but this
twenty five year old man from Connecticut who was charged

(39:10):
with drunk driving. All right, state police spotted him asleep
in a vehicle that was parked right along I ninety
five in Stonington. He is Christian Gonzales. He is from
East Haven. He got charged with driving out of the
influence of alcohol and the illegal operation of a motor
vehicle under suspension. So this little incident happened at about

(39:33):
two or three twenty in the morning. Stay Copp patrolling
I ninety five north there in Connecticut, and a vehicle
was spotted parked on the shoulder near exit ninety one.
So the say police said, the trooper stopped to see
if the driver needed help, because you know what's almost
three thirty in the morning. It's a little odd to
find a car parked on the side of the road

(39:54):
like this. So the trooper went in and found the
driver asleep and the driver's seat with the driver's side
window rolled down. The state police noted in their report said,
given the time of day, again almost three thirty in
the morning. The trooper eliminated the cabin of the vehicle
with a handheld flashlight, and upon attempting to wake the

(40:16):
mail operator, the operator then began to use his hands
to gently paw like a cat in the direction of
the trooper, asking for the light to be turned off. Well, okay,
the trooper noticed clear signs of impairment at that point.
According to Saint Police, the driver was identified as Gonzales.

(40:39):
Once he was fully awake and I guess conscious, he
was given a standardized field sobriety test, which SAT Police
said that he obviously failed. The troopers noted to Gonzalez's
license was also under suspension and he had a prior
DUI arrest, So I mean, it just keeps getting better.
So obviously he was arrested with that incident. He was
in later released from custody on a one thousand dollar

(41:00):
or bonding schedule. And how to make a quart appearance
in New London. But imagine finding a drunk guy asleep
in the car and when you wake him up, he
comes at you like a cat with his hands pawing you.
You know, I don't know, I wonder maybe if he
was having a cat nap or something like that.

Speaker 5 (41:18):
I'm surprised I not have to get some kind of
like paw patrol joke or something out of it. That's
exactly kind of humor I would expect from from some
of your age.

Speaker 4 (41:28):
Actually, you may not even.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
Know what the paw patrol is and it is that's
a little after my time.

Speaker 4 (41:33):
Yeah, I know, right, Yeah, Look, you gotta be pretty
drunk for that, I guess, but I guess in jail, right,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
Right, Well, i'd like to assume how to paw another
cell mate when he's in jail.

Speaker 5 (41:50):
Yeah, I think that he might be indicating something else,
and I'm assuming that it would be on.

Speaker 4 (41:58):
The receiving end thou in that case. Yeah, man, Well, look.

Speaker 5 (42:05):
If U pawing police officers isn't your thing, then maybe
maybe he could, uh, you.

Speaker 4 (42:12):
Know, I guess unwind a little bit on the cruise instead.

Speaker 5 (42:18):
If it's right, still getting drunk, you know, messed with
the police, get drunk next to the pool and fall
off of the boat or what he could do is
is uh a second thought, maybe he might would be
better off spending a free night in jail than the cruise.
After what this guy went through this story.

Speaker 4 (42:41):
I think it's actually it's it's almost unbelievable. I would
be mortified if this happened. So, yeah, I guess considers
a warning. I think for.

Speaker 5 (42:52):
So, this guy from Brahim, Minnesota, he wins a free cruise,
but then he ended up owing forty seven thousand dollars
to Norwegian Cruise Lines for getting treated on board over
three days for the flu.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Twenty seven thousand bucks for getting treated for three days.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
So he wins a free Norwegian cruise, catches the flu,
and gets it with a forty seven thousand dollars Dell, wow, Mike.

Speaker 5 (43:21):
There's Mike Cameron and his girlfriend Tamra Masterman. They both
both come from Brian They won a free cruise to
the Caribbean, and like the economist in me, he kind
of wants to say that there's no such thing as
a free lunch, and certainly.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
The case with this.

Speaker 5 (43:38):
The Norwegian Cruise Line on course ship departed from Miami
on a week long tour of the Caribbean and during
the trip, Cameron came down with the flu. So it's
not bad enough, right, Like, we got this cruise.

Speaker 17 (43:51):
See, this was all my wife always my wife always
wants to go. Yeah, and my wife always wants to
talk about going on a cruise. And see, this is
what I'm always face's going to happen. I'm gonna get
sick and there's no way get off of the board,
off board ship, you know. And this is the same
thing happened to this guy. He gets on the cruise
and he comes out with the flu.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
And you don't want to be on a cruise ship
with thousands of other people and you're sick as a dog.
But unfortunately that's what happened to this guy.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
Oh yeah, well there is one way off the ship.

Speaker 5 (44:19):
If you really wanted to, I would have I would
have thrown myself overboard before let this happen. So during
the trip, this guy comes out with the flume and
it prompts him to visit the ship's medical center for treatment.
He recovered after three days, but soon learned that the
treatment costs forty seven thousand dollars somehow. Oh gosh, yeah,

(44:39):
well what were they doing for this guy?

Speaker 1 (44:40):
Jeez?

Speaker 5 (44:42):
Then for that praise, I'm like, you better have actually
saved my life. The CRUSN charged two credit cards on file,
maxing out each of them. He still owes twenty one
thousand dollars. You got you audio of Mike Cameron and
his girlfriend Tamera Masterman talking about the ordeal.

Speaker 18 (45:00):
I mean, I really don't know how I'm gonna ever
pay them off. I'm going to have to, but I
don't know how to turn around the day we're leaving
and get handed a forty seven thousand dollars bill. I
just didn't even know what to do. And everybody in
the medical ward kept saying, don't worry, you have twenty
thousand dollars coverage.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
You'll you'll be just fine.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
Well, the traveler's insurance doesn't want to pay it until
we run it by our health insurance. The health insurance
doesn't want to pay it because it's abroad.

Speaker 5 (45:25):
The couple bought travel insurance from Norwegian that covered medical
expenses up to twenty thousand dollars, but they've not had
any luck following acclaim, and the region told Masterman that
it's pricing is quote closely comparable to cruise other cruise lines,
and this is what we believe to be fair and reasonable.
So basically that's fair and reasonable. I am not ever

(45:48):
going to go on a cruise pay money to be
possibly hit with a fifty thousand dollars bill Well. When
we reached via email, a spokes christ for the region
said that the cruise line is looking into whether the
charges are typical for flu.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
Just how much of the theraf the theorra flu must
cost an awful lot of the ship's dispensary.

Speaker 4 (46:11):
Right was bathing in.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
Man, I mean, that's some pretty amazing doctors. I better
if I got charged forty seven thousand dollars to cure
me of three days of the flu, I better get
the flu for the rest of my life.

Speaker 19 (46:27):
Yeah real, you know that's I mean, I mean you
would think, well, first off, I mean I don't know.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
To me, I mean, my my wife loves the idea
of getting a cruise ship and going blazes. For me,
I see it as a prison on a floating prison.
It's like I'm gonna be on Alcatraz, you know, for
like a week with somebody and you know, yeah, you're
you're around, and you know, I don't know. Maybe I'm
thinking that way because you hear these stories of this

(46:57):
massive illness breakout like on Carnival Cruise Line. Remember that
the ship like had this massive breakout of illness and
they all got yeah, and that would be my luck. Okay.
The only thing I could think that'd be worse than
being trapped on a cruise ship with probably people I
don't want to spend a lot of time with, but

(47:18):
usually find me and they want to hang around me
the whole time, and getting sick from somebody having the
flu is to be around people that are also on
a cruise ship that are naked. Okay, that's that and
so but look it, and of course it's in Florida.
This is where you'll have this uninhibited Americans set sail

(47:39):
recently from Miami on board of an eleven day nude cruise.
It's called the Bear Necessities. They partnered with, of course,
Norwegian Cruise Lines. There you go before it left the port. Now,
this is a nine hundred and sixty eight foot vessel.
It can accommodate two thousand, three three hundred naked people, okay,

(48:02):
and they call it the Big Nude Boat. For this
unusual event. Naked passengers cruised through the Caribbean and they
make stops in Martinique and Saint Lucia. The prices if
you want to get naked and go on a boat
start at two thousand dollars, but some nudists were able
to fork ount upwards of thirty three thousand dollars for

(48:24):
a deluxe three bedroom villa. Oh god. Passengers were also
the subject to strict rules on board, so this, of
course is the most important thing. They had to wear
clothing while inside the vessel's indoor dining room, so you
could not get naked inside it all. You had to
get naked outside. But there's a large buffet area for

(48:46):
outdoor dining in the buff okay, So now to maintain hygiene,
the nudis is needed to put a towel down before
sitting in the state room, pool deck or buffet area.
If they're burying their bottoms, thank goodness, they at least
had some good, decent taste, all right, bar Neess Hays.
It also makes it very clear fondling or inappropriate touching

(49:11):
is prohibited. Does scratching count?

Speaker 12 (49:14):
You know?

Speaker 1 (49:15):
I mean sometimes it itches down there, you know. I
don't know, but I'm wondering, who is the guy that's
the fondling police?

Speaker 4 (49:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Are you? Yeah? Are you the guy that has to
determine whether the guy is fondling or inappropriate touching or something.
I don't know. Well anyway, Baroness says it He has
already chartered more than seventy five nude cruises in the past,
with one prior passager speaking out about the experience in
a Reddit post recently. He says cruises seem to be

(49:44):
for people who like to eat and lie around, so
there were a lot of large people, says the sixty
seven year old man. Also, most people don't seem to
be comfortable being nude in public until later in life
the out was older. I'd say twenty percent attractive, twenty
percent average, sixty percent unattractive. He adds translation legal fat people, Yeah,

(50:11):
fat people on a cruise. Yeah, so no thanks, no thanks.
I will not be taking a cruise on the Bare
Necessities cruise line.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (50:20):
I was saying, they've got to have some kind of
clever name, like like we're taking part on Nude Beginnings
or something like that.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
Honestly, though, when you get to be a certain age,
you don't really care what you look like, and you
don't really care if people see what you look like.

Speaker 4 (50:35):
I well, I would I would.

Speaker 5 (50:36):
Think that it would help when you lose your eyesight
a bit as well. Because my bigger issue would be
having to look at what other people look like.

Speaker 19 (50:44):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, oh my, Well again, I go
back to what one comedian said when they were in
a situation like this that you.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
Couldn't help remembering the quote from one of our greatest
American residenced that all men are created equal. He says,
I can give him a little argument in that department.
So yeah, ugly old fat people lying around eating, that's
what I want to see. You spend seven days of this,

(51:16):
This is this would be images I would never be
able to get out of my head.

Speaker 5 (51:20):
You don't want to see like like food, uh you know,
food stains on people's skin. You know you don't want
to see any more grandma raising tits.

Speaker 1 (51:36):
Right, Yeah, there's enough sagging in life already.

Speaker 4 (51:40):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (51:41):
Well, look, if you don't want to go on a
cruise line you know, full of I guess what ugly
old fat people that are naked, then maybe you'd rather
give naked.

Speaker 4 (51:52):
Some are more private, like up in space.

Speaker 5 (51:55):
Okay you tease this earlier. Yeah, posting the question what
happens when astronauts ejaculate in space.

Speaker 16 (52:09):
And which has had me wondering, like the only thing
is like, are you using it like a propellant.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
The final frontier?

Speaker 4 (52:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (52:24):
I would.

Speaker 11 (52:25):
What are you doing over there? You're not you're not
trying to like, you're not trying to test it out yourself.
You're not in space. You're thinking about the new cruise.
Huh yeah, really that's right.

Speaker 4 (52:39):
Well, look, this.

Speaker 5 (52:40):
Information could really come in handy if you find yourself
lost in space and mildly arouse r randy astronauts, And
I guess I would assume that space makes most astronauts
a bit randy. They may find themselves in need of

(53:01):
a little sexual relief while touring the galaxy.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
Well, you are a little weightless up there. Everything kind
of floats, right.

Speaker 5 (53:07):
I know you're like, wait, does that mean that, like,
can an.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
Erection happen in any any direction? At that point, then
there's no sense of what's up and down?

Speaker 5 (53:18):
So yes, how do you know if it's a wrect
if it's not man, well, a rocket man, you can no.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
Longer keep those inner passions.

Speaker 5 (53:33):
Pinned up, right, But when they've got to let their
red rocket go launch, it releases through the release of
his bodily fluids in zero gravity. Makes some out of
this world motion. So this is what this is what
instead of scientists saying is uh okay, this is I'm

(53:57):
this is gonna get into some weird places.

Speaker 4 (54:02):
Like the article here is way too long considering what
the headline is one a longer one.

Speaker 5 (54:10):
So like we're gonna be talking a lot about space
ejaculate the year.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
You know, they have some very descriptive language.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
Of your own personal.

Speaker 20 (54:24):
Spot Nick launch, I guess, well, let's talk about spunk, right,
So it's spunk Nick instead.

Speaker 5 (54:36):
I guess this is what sexpert as me and Luis
James says for a trending TikTok they say in space
added as physicist Matthew Ague in the collaboration clip dedicated
to space Cadets and ejaculation right now talking about getting

(54:59):
freaky final for tier. It's a dirty job, but someone's
got to do it. And interest in SpaceX has been
peaked in recent months, owing only just Sunita, Sidney Williams,
and Barry Butch Wilmore astronauts in the International Space Station
due to have technical issues on the aircraft a Boeing Starliner,

(55:21):
a spacecraft which launched for what was meant to be
an eight day trip in June twenty twenty four, the twusome.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
Is now stranded in the Great Beyond and definitely.

Speaker 5 (55:32):
Which if you didn't know, we've got two astronauts stranded
up there for like months and months.

Speaker 4 (55:35):
Yeah, I remember when.

Speaker 5 (55:38):
This happened, like but oh gosh, like October or something.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
I found this out.

Speaker 4 (55:42):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (55:43):
Well since the misshap social media, I just have speculated
that the astronauts have engaged in naughty behavior to pass
the time. In a month since Williams and Wilmore's ill
fated launch, internet trolls have openly wondered if the pair
are engaging in any sexual activity. And while Solar System
insiders claim that interstellar intercourse is not impossible, the pro

(56:07):
say would be difficult to do enjoy the do due
to lack of stability in the high skies.

Speaker 8 (56:15):
But should a.

Speaker 5 (56:16):
Male moon walker find some time for a little self pleasure?
James and Ague say the outcomes of an outer space
orgasm are otherworldly. So what would happen if a man's
rocket blasted off in space? Pondered James in the NSFW

(56:37):
Nasal inspired video The eye Popping post about over twenty
four thousand views.

Speaker 4 (56:42):
When when a manage acculates in the vacuum of space.

Speaker 5 (56:45):
How fast backwards is he propelled, asked agu before he
and James reild the goopy answer via the conservation momentum. Now,
this was my first question when you brought this headline up.
It's like you're untethered and floating away. Can you quickly
try to, you know, yank one out to save your life?

Speaker 4 (57:08):
That's a question. Well, and if you don't know the conservation.

Speaker 5 (57:12):
Of the conservation of momentum, you know, for all objects,
what is the.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
For every object? Like there's an equal and opposite reaction, right.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
For everyone, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

Speaker 5 (57:26):
Right, And because in space you don't really have friction
or anything, it's a vacuum, then like the amount of
force that you put forward is going to be applied
backwards as well. Like you jump off of the ground
on Earth and like the Earth pushes away from you
a little bit too. There's an opposite reaction. Now it
doesn't you're not going to move the Earth because it's

(57:46):
so infintestially small, and there are other things like the
dirt might have air.

Speaker 4 (57:51):
Pockets whatever it is.

Speaker 5 (57:52):
But like there is a push being pushed back on
the Earth the same way that you were being pushed.

Speaker 4 (57:57):
Up when you jump, and.

Speaker 5 (57:58):
So so you just don't re see it because how
big Earth is. When space a vacuum, you're it will
be more pronounced. Sorry, these are important questions. Okay, well,
it's a fundamental concept of physics. The quinn a NASA,
they say no, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration's Code
of Ethics does not explicitly address sex or masturbation in

(58:22):
outer space.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
But you never know.

Speaker 5 (58:28):
I all right, yeah, that's not what we thought of
when we heard the word space force.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
Well, they want to be as transparent as possible on this,
that's right, I know.

Speaker 5 (58:42):
So I imagine like if you want to use protection, that
you put like a little astronaut's helmet on the tip instead. Okay, well,
the concept states of the total momentum of two or
more bodies and the system will remain the same that
you This means that the mass multiplied by the velocity

(59:03):
of the ejaculate will equal the mass multiplied by the
velocity of the Man continued to be astro know at all, and.

Speaker 4 (59:10):
To prove that he wasn't just jerking viewers around.

Speaker 5 (59:13):
Agu and James did the math Juice Matt the Man
Juice Math. The academic duo calculated the average volume of
space spunk approximately one teaspoon, as well as its density
one gram.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
So where do they get this from? Is my question?

Speaker 1 (59:32):
Right?

Speaker 5 (59:33):
And we said the average that means how many people
in times did they have to measure this to get
this average ounce?

Speaker 4 (59:40):
And so yeah, we got one teaspoon. That's the density
as one gram.

Speaker 5 (59:45):
The average speed of a degulation, which they found to
be around forty five kilometers per hour, which I don't
know how they got that number, but.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
Like like you know, the baseball they throw the baseball,
they just put the little little skin right in front
of you.

Speaker 4 (59:59):
Oh gosh.

Speaker 6 (59:59):
Right.

Speaker 5 (01:00:00):
After multiplying the density by volume to find the mass,
Argue and James multiply the mass by the velocity, and
that gives us the momentum of the ejaculate. Now you
announced with pride. I don't think you say that pridefully.
But so let's say this is another quote. So let's
say the average man weighs one hundred and fifty five pounds.

(01:00:23):
He said, this means the velocity must equal zero point
zero zero zero five six two meters per second. Thankfully
James put their funky spunky finding in Layman's rooms. They say,
this means our astronaut who has blasted off in the
vacuum space is not traveling backward at two meters per hour,

(01:00:43):
she said, It's about the speed of an average garden snail,
said Aguay.

Speaker 4 (01:00:49):
Travels around one meter per hour.

Speaker 5 (01:00:51):
So if you ever find yourself in the vacuum space
and you want to use ejaculate as propel it, he warned,
then you're not going to be moving very quickly. Yeah,
but what happens if you like what happens if you've
got a quick turnaround, like like a time, and you're
able to get a few sessions.

Speaker 4 (01:01:10):
Off, Well, yeah, over time.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
I don't know, but I have a feeling that some
guys might be able to use this to do a
little bragging, to say, hey, I bet I can go
a lot faster.

Speaker 5 (01:01:24):
You see, if you could get to like three snails
pace instead of two, you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Got to look. In order to do that, you have
to exercise your sphincter.

Speaker 5 (01:01:36):
Well, I will say this, at least, well, you probably
better if it was urinating, right like, but there's at
least answers like probably the biggest question about space that
most of us have, the only the second question being
in space. Well, actually this is not a question, more

(01:01:58):
so the statement this has not been answered yet.

Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
If in space no one can hear you come.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
Yeah, right, that's true. Well, look I'll say this. I
think I think we might have a new business if
couples would like to have a little some sex, sex
time off and blast them into space so they can
blast off together.

Speaker 4 (01:02:28):
Together.

Speaker 5 (01:02:29):
Yeah, I don't know, some zero G.

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
Yeah, zero zero G spot.

Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
That's what That's what I'm looking for.

Speaker 5 (01:02:38):
Yeah, I'm like, zero zero G is the zero zero
G gasm.

Speaker 4 (01:02:43):
I don't know it's.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
But still, I mean, if you can have like, instead
of having the sex sick time, you have sex time
and uh you know, maybe work something with Elon Musk
where you can go off into zero gravity and you know,
experience a zero gravity orgasm on your sex day.

Speaker 4 (01:03:04):
I mean that sounds good. I don't know. I'm uncomfortable
with where this is all going.

Speaker 5 (01:03:11):
I don't want to I don't feel this conversation with you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
Yeah, well, I mean, hey, it's the twenty first century.
Who knows what they're going to come up?

Speaker 4 (01:03:23):
You know, the new new.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
Uh, well, look, we've we've we've already had the penis
of the future. Now we're going to go for the
orgasm of the future. Yeah right, So well what we
do have is some ask Pacho questions and well there
this time all about relationships. So nobody's asking on positions

(01:03:48):
they should take if they're going to do sex in
space or zero gravity. But that'd be an interesting thing
to cover. What will be the best sex positions to
cover in zero gravity?

Speaker 4 (01:04:00):
You know, and more creative for sure?

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
Right, Yeah, I mean I don't think you could do
do doggy style and zero gravity very well, could you.
It'd be a little kind of you know, well you
might have that that problem you know, with with the
the the average speed of you know, momentum or whatever
they talked about, you know, the conservation of momentum.

Speaker 5 (01:04:26):
You'd be banging all around, uh not around the whole station.

Speaker 1 (01:04:32):
Well you're paying right, So the.

Speaker 5 (01:04:34):
Sex position I probably wouldn't be down for would be
the alien probe.

Speaker 4 (01:04:44):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
Well, here's a question for Pancho. Somebody would like to
know if they should date a thirty year old guy
who lives with roommates. And this is a perfect one.
For I love this. Okay, So, and I have a
pretty good idea where you're going to go with this,
but I'll read it anyway. It says, dear Poncho, I'm
twenty six, I'm just starting to date again. I met

(01:05:11):
a guy at a bar. He seemed cool, so I
gave him my number, and well, we've talked and we're
going to have dinner together. And I told my friends,
and well, they're excited for me until I told him
he's like thirty and he has roommates. Well, they say
that's a red flag. Okay, it's a red flag. They say, no,
thirty year old guy should have roommates because he should

(01:05:33):
be established and have his own place. Now, look, I'm conflicted.
I don't know what to do. I mean, are my
friends right? I mean, should I still go out with
the guy? I mean, is there a problem being thirty
and having roommates?

Speaker 4 (01:05:46):
I mean it really depends on the situation.

Speaker 5 (01:05:50):
I think, Like, so, I don't have another information there
right now, somebody that couldn't be that he doesn't want
to alone, right, and like like why why I have
like save money on bills like and stuff with that?

Speaker 6 (01:06:07):
Right?

Speaker 5 (01:06:07):
Because I know some guys that are just like I
went through some tough things, right like.

Speaker 4 (01:06:13):
And and they're kind of like currently in that situation too,
right right, But at the.

Speaker 5 (01:06:18):
Same time, like you know, I get it where you
you want to come in there and be like, oh,
I got a house and all this whatever, like the
housing is really expensive right now, like I mean crazy,
So I really have enough information on this one, thankfully.

Speaker 1 (01:06:33):
Well, I will say married, and.

Speaker 5 (01:06:36):
I was able to buy my house before thirty as well,
but I don't think that's common true.

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
Well, well, I mean I was over thirty and I
had roommates, I got married, so.

Speaker 4 (01:06:47):
So I mean you're improving the other case. And yeah,
I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 (01:06:52):
Kind of think.

Speaker 16 (01:06:55):
Idea.

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
I know what you're trying to So.

Speaker 4 (01:07:00):
I, well, I.

Speaker 1 (01:07:05):
Don't know, is it. I don't know. Why would she
why would her friends have her friends have a problem
with this? I mean, really have you have you seen
how much it is to buy a house nowadays? I
mean the housing costs are just ridiculous. So probably even
if you know they were going in on a house

(01:07:27):
payment together, I mean still, but I was anything wrong
with a guy having roommates and being thirty years old?
I mean I think unless maybe this girl's friends are
expecting her to you know, have a much higher taste
in guys.

Speaker 5 (01:07:42):
Yeah, but like, yeah, there's like there's a loser way
to be thirty living roommates, and there's like a completely
like regular normal as well.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
So what's the difference, Well, this situation, like.

Speaker 5 (01:07:56):
The circumstances like where he's out, Like is he thirty
little roommates because he works you know, like a.

Speaker 21 (01:08:03):
Dead end nowhere job, barely making anything crazy or is
he there because like housing is expensive, but he's still
got a good job and he's just trying to save
up for the house or something in the.

Speaker 4 (01:08:16):
Meantime, And why like you know, why buy this big
house when you're all alone? You know?

Speaker 5 (01:08:22):
And true when I and like why cook all your.

Speaker 4 (01:08:26):
Meals by yourself?

Speaker 5 (01:08:27):
Like like when I met my wife, I was living
with my best friend at the time and him and
I was like we both had our own space and
we rented a condo together, and.

Speaker 4 (01:08:38):
I was like twenty five.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
But but maybe all the people that visiting within his
roommates could all be his groomsmen.

Speaker 5 (01:08:46):
Well yeah, probably was, so like you know, I don't know,
I think that I don't I don't think you should
be a make it or break it, but I think
there are some It doesn't help his case, but depending
it may not hurt either.

Speaker 1 (01:08:58):
Would you call it a red flag?

Speaker 4 (01:09:00):
No, not really a red flag. I don't think.

Speaker 5 (01:09:02):
I don't think it helps or hurts. But but again,
there are other behavioral things that could be red flags.
So yeah, it could be like, like, I don't know,
I can't really say, like like, this is not an
information for it if you're if you're basic on like

(01:09:25):
if you want someone who is like I want someone
already established with a job that's super nice, high pay.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
And how maybe she may be waiting a while.

Speaker 5 (01:09:37):
It is very a forty year old dude then, but
that'd be creepy.

Speaker 4 (01:09:43):
All right.

Speaker 5 (01:09:43):
Well, I've got one here too that they say, help,
is it okay to date as a much older person
for the perks?

Speaker 1 (01:09:49):
Well you know what, Well they're kind of just older person.

Speaker 5 (01:09:53):
Didn't even read this, uh so I kind of walked
right into that one. I say, I've been d a
much older man for six months, and let me tell you,
he knows how to spoil me from jewelry to shopping screeze.
I've never experienced anything like this before he went all
out for Christmas. This has left me feeling conflicted. I'm

(01:10:14):
not in love with him, and I'm not sure if
I even want to be in this relationship long term.
I know I'm staying for the perks. Is that wrong
or just part of dating someone who's established? Is it
wrong when I accept that, I accepted his expensive Christmas presents?

Speaker 4 (01:10:29):
Would love to hear your thoughts. Well, yeah, you no,
it absolutely is.

Speaker 5 (01:10:34):
You're saying that you don't really want to be with
this person, but he's basically bribing you to stay like
that's that's clearly you don't have any moral conies about this.
I mean, you could say that you both are using
each other, I guess, and maybe that'd be the case. Well, yeah,
you're certainly not doing yoursellling favors. Soon you're going to
be that thirty year old person. Well I don't know

(01:10:56):
how old you are or how old he.

Speaker 4 (01:10:58):
Is, how old is he? Because there's it's.

Speaker 1 (01:11:03):
Well true, but still I mean, but here's the deal.
I mean, he's happy, she's happy. He gets what he wants,
she gets what she wants. So I don't know, I mean,
doesn't I mean outside of the morality of it, you know.
I mean, if you're just looking strictly at the situation,

(01:11:26):
I mean, obviously I would think that it's a pretty
hollow relationship if you're looking for a really relationship. But
I mean if he's getting some nookie and she's getting
the perks, I mean, hey, you know, to each his own.

Speaker 5 (01:11:42):
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean I but I don't know
there There definitely is a creepy that could happen as.

Speaker 1 (01:11:50):
Well, not near as creepy though it's playing insane games.

Speaker 4 (01:11:56):
Yeah, that's that's fair, that's certain.

Speaker 5 (01:11:59):
Yeah, loves creeping out yea as talking about space funk
with your uncle for fifteen minutes.

Speaker 4 (01:12:07):
A man.

Speaker 1 (01:12:14):
You know, I'm open to talking about anything but love
talking about surviving in the stupidity that's always around us.
And if you're insane enough to ask, well, I'm insane
enough to reply, and I would love to hear from you.
You can leave me a message at podcast dot Insanericlane
dot com, leave a comment there from a podcast, or
if you have a question, I'll be happy to address

(01:12:35):
either one. Your question or comment just might be talked
about in a future podcast. And if you are someone
you know would like to join in on the podcast,
you are more than welcome to participate. If you've got
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Speaker 22 (01:12:49):
From your smartphone, just like the other six hundred thousand
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You can also email.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
Me with comments or questions or requests at shout out
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Amazon Music Player, FM, Podchaser, Boom, play Overcast, pocket Cast Radio, Public, Spotify,
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(01:13:19):
on Facebook and x at Insane Eric Lane. It's time
to play Eric Lane's Insane game SIEL, starring his insane
Florida nephew, Panchoweto. Since we're talking about spunk in positions,

(01:13:41):
why don't we just jump it into porn star weatherman.

Speaker 4 (01:13:45):
All right, this sounds good.

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
Well, we've got some entertainers here and some pretty colorful names.
You figure out whether these names belong to a porn
star or a weatherman. So we've got but the one
you may have heard before. Uh, this particular entertainer, it
goes by tour Bergeron.

Speaker 4 (01:14:08):
Tour Bergeron. I'm gonna say that this is a weather man.

Speaker 1 (01:14:14):
That sounds uh really over the top kind of masculine.
So yeah, I guess, uh that would be a good
good name for a weather man. He's actually with Sweden's
national weather Service, so I guess that's why they call
him tour So all right, here's an interesting entertainer's name.

(01:14:35):
His name is Dale de Bone.

Speaker 4 (01:14:38):
Dale de Bone.

Speaker 5 (01:14:40):
I'm gonna say Dale Debone is a weather no Way,
Dale Dubon, I'm gonna say is a porn star.

Speaker 1 (01:14:52):
Okay, okay, Well his last name is spelled d a
capital b o n e oh man.

Speaker 4 (01:14:59):
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm definitely gonna say it's
a porn star.

Speaker 1 (01:15:02):
Yeah, I definitely think it supports Tale de Bone. Yeah,
well I wonder what, uh, I wonder how much momentum
he has in outer space? You know, just just curious
he is a porn star? Is the bone is probably
moving at a pretty good sales pace, you might say. So,

(01:15:24):
all right, how about this entertainer who goes by Bob.

Speaker 5 (01:15:29):
John's Bob John's, Well, Bob Johns sounds like a I'm
gonna say.

Speaker 4 (01:15:36):
Weather man, Bob Johns.

Speaker 1 (01:15:39):
That's such a weird It is a very weird name,
but a weather man. He is from Lebanon, Indiana, I
believe it or not. So Bob John's weather mile Mine.
That sounds so Midwestern for some reason, I don't know why.
So all right, well, here's another entertainer that goes by
the name of Cole Street.

Speaker 5 (01:16:00):
Cole Streets. I think that he walks those streets at night.
I think he's a porn star.

Speaker 1 (01:16:07):
That's a weird name anyway, is but it is a
porn star, absolutely, all right, So far, so good, four
for five. Our last entertainer's name Francesco de Macho.

Speaker 4 (01:16:19):
Francesco Demacho. Well that's gonna be a porn star.

Speaker 1 (01:16:23):
That's about as obvious porn star name is there ever.
Oh man, you can't get any more than that. So
all right, Well let's see, let's you want to move
on up to strip club or day while we're on
that subject, I mean, it's a natural progression, right, So
we've got some businesses. You tell me whether these businesses

(01:16:44):
could fit a strip club or they could fit it, taycare.
So your first business is called Miss Charms in Albuquerque,
New Mexico.

Speaker 5 (01:16:55):
Miss Charms. Yeah, I'm gonna say that this is definitely
a strip club.

Speaker 1 (01:17:01):
Oh, Miss Charms that has a lot of it has
a nice charming name to it, except it's to daycare.
Believe it or not. Taking the kids to Miss Charms
for daycare?

Speaker 4 (01:17:13):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:17:14):
Well, how about this one in Baltimore, Maryland called Joshua's
Place Joshua's Place.

Speaker 5 (01:17:20):
I'm gonna say, Joshua's Place is.

Speaker 4 (01:17:24):
Joshua. I'm gonna say that sounds like a wholesome like name. Right,
I'm gonna say, uh, daycare.

Speaker 1 (01:17:34):
Daycare even though it's Joshua.

Speaker 4 (01:17:36):
It's a little bit weird. But you got me with
the whole like Walls of Jericho kind of thing going on.

Speaker 1 (01:17:42):
Oh, I say, all right, well, okay, good, good deduction.
It is a daycare absolutely all right. So far, so good.
All right, So we're not one for one. Uh, and
let's see how we go with this particular business in
Star Valley, Arizona, called Pete's Place.

Speaker 5 (01:18:01):
Pete's Place. Now, this is a different story. This is
going to be a strip club.

Speaker 1 (01:18:07):
So you're thinking Joshua is safer for daycare. But Pete's
a little bit hinky. Well at least he could have
called it Peters Place maybe, But it is a strip
club exactly all right. So far we are moving on

(01:18:28):
ahead with this one called Holly Street in Nashville, Tennessee.

Speaker 5 (01:18:34):
Holly Street. I'm gonna say, Holly Street is. I'm gonna say,
it's another strip club.

Speaker 23 (01:18:45):
Holly Street is going down to going down to Holly
Street for as little strip club action has. Actually, well,
that's a daycare if you go to Holly Street. So
I kind of thought that had an innocent name to it,
you know, if you so, I'm taking a Christmas Holly
or something like that. So how about this one in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Speaker 4 (01:19:06):
This is called Angels Angels. I'm gonna say, oh, well,
this is going to be a strip club. That's easy.

Speaker 1 (01:19:13):
Oh really? Oh so those kind of angels?

Speaker 4 (01:19:16):
Is that it?

Speaker 1 (01:19:17):
It is a strip club absolutely all right? Well not bad.
I think you got three out of five on that,
so that's better than average. All right, what do you
feel like? Now you've got steakhouse or a gay bar,
or a golf course or rehab.

Speaker 5 (01:19:31):
Let's see, golf course. I'm gonna say golf course or rehab.

Speaker 1 (01:19:35):
All right, Well, see if we can make your way
through these particular business names based on where they're located
and their name, whether they sound like a golf course
or it could be a rehab. Your first business in
glen View, Illinois called the Glen.

Speaker 4 (01:19:52):
The Glen, I'm gonna say the Glen is a golf course.

Speaker 1 (01:19:57):
It's in glen View, so it's an obvious name. It
is a golf course, all right. How about Trout Lake
in Arbor Vitai, Wisconsin.

Speaker 4 (01:20:08):
Trout Lake, I'm gonna say that is a rehab.

Speaker 1 (01:20:13):
Going going fishing for some trout in lakes? Actually a
golf course. Well, maybe the trout enjoy a little round
of golf here there, all right. Here's another one in Ditmer,
Missouri called Santa Lake.

Speaker 4 (01:20:30):
Santa Lake. Well, this is.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
Santa Lake in Dittmer, Missouri. Yes, it is actually a rehab.
Very good. So I'm not who Santa is, but sounds
peaceful enough. So here's one in ann Arbor, Michigan called
Dawn Farm.

Speaker 4 (01:20:50):
Down Farm. I'm gonna say rehab.

Speaker 1 (01:20:54):
Oh, the sweet little dawn at the dawn of a
new day. I guess yes, it's a rehab.

Speaker 4 (01:21:01):
All right.

Speaker 1 (01:21:02):
And last, but not least, we have the Ridge in Milford, Ohio.

Speaker 5 (01:21:08):
The Ridge, the Ridge, I would say, is a golf course.

Speaker 1 (01:21:13):
Kind of me, I don't know that that's It can
go either way. Rich sounds kind of a fancy, you know.
It could also be it's a rehab. I think you
missed three out of five, so you kind of like
a little flip on that one. So that leaves us
in Steakhouster gay bar. We got some businesses here. You

(01:21:33):
can determine whether you think might be either a steakhouster
gay bar based upon their name. I love this one.
This is obviously should be pretty easy. But of course
it's in Dallas, Texas, and it's called a round up.

Speaker 4 (01:21:46):
The round up. Yeah, the roundup is a gay bar.

Speaker 1 (01:21:52):
Going round them all up and get him in a corral,
put them in a stirrups. That's what we're gonna do.
It is a gay bar, all right. How about I
love this name. This is in Brandon, Mississippi. It's called
Willy Bees.

Speaker 4 (01:22:07):
Willy Bees. Willy Be's I'm gonna say, is.

Speaker 8 (01:22:14):
Another gay bar.

Speaker 1 (01:22:17):
Better keep your willie where it ought to be, because
it happens to be any house so I love the
name Willy Bees. All right, how about this one? This
is called our Place in Birmingham, Alabama.

Speaker 5 (01:22:32):
Our place, Our place, I'm gonna say, is a steakhouse.

Speaker 1 (01:22:37):
Oh yeah, well it's not that kind of our place. Nope,
it's oh you are our place. That's hey, we're gonna
go to our place. No, all right. How about this
one in Portland, Oregon called Silverado.

Speaker 4 (01:23:02):
A Silverado is gonna be a gay bar.

Speaker 1 (01:23:05):
You kind of picked up the hint on that one.
I guess, huh, yes, it is a gay bar.

Speaker 4 (01:23:12):
Very good.

Speaker 1 (01:23:13):
And the last, but not least, we have Round the
Bend in Ashland, Nebraska.

Speaker 5 (01:23:19):
Round the Bend, Well, this is gonna be you know,
I think it's a red herring, say, steakhouse.

Speaker 1 (01:23:26):
Do you think it's a red Well, you know that
we've had one before that was a gay bar called
Round the Bend. So but you're right, this is a steakhouse.
So you were good to pick that one up. So
all right, so far you've kind of been doing average
this week, so it's just too bad, all right, but
we'll see how you do. Now with fake news or Florida,

(01:23:46):
we've got our headlines that you have to determine which
is totally a fake story or it really happened in
the state of Florida. Your first headline has a Tarpain
Springs man arrested after he drunkenly called nine to one
one and claimed his wife was a black widow spider.

Speaker 4 (01:24:06):
I'm gonna say that is fake news.

Speaker 1 (01:24:12):
Black widow spiders. Wow, it's actually a true story. Happened
in Florida. So it must have been some dun some
pretty pretty crazy magic mushrooms to come up with that one.
So all right, how about this one? A Cape Canaveral
woman told police she couldn't be arrested for indecent exposure
because the president said, it's okay.

Speaker 4 (01:24:35):
Well the ps okay. I'm gonna say fake news.

Speaker 1 (01:24:40):
I don't know. I don't I'm one of which president
she's thinking about, but it is fake news, that's correct,
all right. Your next headline, a Pasco County man was
arrested for auto theft after he broke into an unmarked
police car with two deputies inside.

Speaker 5 (01:24:58):
Two deputies, let's see, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna I'm
gonna say, Florida, how do you do this?

Speaker 1 (01:25:09):
I said? Two deputies inside and he tries the car jacket.
It was a true story. It really happened in Florida.
That's right. All right, your next one, a West Palm
Beach man was arrested for reckless engagement after he had
his ten year old daughter drive him home from a bar.

Speaker 4 (01:25:26):
Ten year old daughter driving, Now, I think that's fake news.

Speaker 1 (01:25:30):
That's that's that would be a great story though, if
it ever happened something like that, it is fake news,
that's right. And finally, a Cape Coral man did a
cartwheel during a dui stop and begged the cops to
take him to jail, beg.

Speaker 5 (01:25:46):
Him to take Yeah, I'll say Florida.

Speaker 1 (01:25:50):
Actually, it is a story I think we did before
on the on the podcast, right because he was they
had the the the dash cam video of the guy
doing a cart in front of the officers and he
was begging them to take him to jail. So that's
a true true story. So well, we got plenty of

(01:26:10):
other stupidity. Like I said, I've been I've been staying
busy this week while the station has been off the
ear out there minding the internet. So we've got some
really good stories of some stupidity. This is something that
could be in the future that we will have for
next week. Could robot pets be in the future and

(01:26:32):
experts are predicting what they might be pets? Okay, robot pets,
that's right, so you could have your own. I mean
we're not talking about the ferbies, we're talking about actual Yeah,
all right, So that that's one that that might be
interesting to talk about. And I love this. I mean,
this is a typical Florida story. A shirtless Florida man

(01:26:55):
steals a patrol car and car jack's a woman in
a wild chase.

Speaker 4 (01:27:01):
Okay, yeah, but after he steals.

Speaker 1 (01:27:04):
A patrol car, so remember the story of the two
deputies inside, so this happened again.

Speaker 5 (01:27:11):
Yeah, it's like they're never okay with just.

Speaker 4 (01:27:16):
What is like they gotta go above and beyond for
these things?

Speaker 1 (01:27:19):
Right? Oh yeah? Oh yeah. Now this is something that
I have to read to my wife because she's done
this before. We're coming into Sam's Club Walmart and she's
looking at a crowded parking lot. She wants to get
a parking spot as close to the store as she
possibly can. Yeah, and so she sees backup lights in
a car in a stall, and so she stops and

(01:27:41):
she waits for this car to back up so she
can turn in. Right, Well, this happened to a Florida
man and he pulls a gun on the customer who's
waiting in the parking space at the grocery store. Okay,
So so it's like he doesn't want to wait for
this car to to pull in, all right. So and

(01:28:03):
then here's another new trend where men are injecting their
jaw lines with bone light filler for those chiseled faces.
You know what I'm saying. They want that, yeah, the
square jaw line. They want to make it their their
face look nice and masculine. So I guess right, right,

(01:28:25):
So it's it's like a bone like filler for to
make their jawline nice and firm, or they're injecting something
else to get a boner. The finance brothers are lining
up for penis and scrotum fillers.

Speaker 4 (01:28:40):
Penis and fillers, what is that? Right?

Speaker 1 (01:28:46):
So forget forget the for male male botox man. We're
going for the gold here, all right. So that's another
great story, all right, And this is this is the
wildest story I have ever seen. I mean, if you
thought you're day today, was just a little bit chaotic.
Somebody had a really bad morning. Within one minute, it

(01:29:06):
was their alarm, a nine to one one call, and
sending nudes to friends, all in one minute, all in
one minute. So if you think you had a bad day,
this guy has you topped. I guarantee it.

Speaker 4 (01:29:23):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:29:24):
And here and here, here's here's a psycho girlfriend who
filled her ex, her ex's gas tank with pre sucked skittles.

Speaker 4 (01:29:35):
Through pre sucked skittles.

Speaker 1 (01:29:40):
That's right, that's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. And
then we got a story, and of course this comes
from China, because all the weird stories come from China,
where doctors find five contact lenses that were lost behind
the eyeball of a woman. Oh man, no, oh yeah, yeah,

(01:30:02):
all right. And here's another great mix up story. And
I an IVF clinic messed up and a woman gave birth,
gave birth to the wrong baby.

Speaker 4 (01:30:13):
What Oh that's a good one.

Speaker 1 (01:30:21):
Oh but it's even it's even better when you find
out the details. Okay, oh yeah, absolutely absolutely so.

Speaker 6 (01:30:33):
So.

Speaker 1 (01:30:34):
And then we've got a man claiming he's at least
six and three in eluding the cops, ends up complimenting
the officers after they catch him in a police chase.

Speaker 4 (01:30:44):
Oh all right.

Speaker 1 (01:30:47):
And then last but not Lea's this is a great
story where a Michigan man drives seven hundred miles to
Pennsylvania to torch his ex girlfriend's boyfriend's.

Speaker 5 (01:30:58):
House towards the ex girlfriend's boyfriend's house.

Speaker 1 (01:31:03):
Right, So apparently he didn't like the ex's boyfriend, so
he drives from Michigan to Pennsylvania to set his house
on fire. Wow, okay, yeah, yeah, so yeah, that's how
stupid some people have to be. So that's just a
few of the things I was able to mine out
of the Internet while I'm waiting for the radio station

(01:31:26):
to get repaired.

Speaker 4 (01:31:27):
Oh I like it. I like it.

Speaker 1 (01:31:29):
So yeah, so, and I'm sure we'll have a few
more great stories to add to that. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:31:36):
They always seem to come in a little bit late sometimes,
oh man.

Speaker 1 (01:31:40):
And just when I think I've seen the most stupid
run of the week, then I find another one that
tops that one. So nevertheless, there's never a And we
were talking about this the other day, some folks that
I was saying, they were just about just all the
stuff that's been happening in February so far, and they said,
I bet you've not had any trouble finding stuff for
your podcast, And I said, you'd better believe it, right,

(01:32:00):
I mean absolutely, Well, hopefully this week won't be quite
as chaotic this next week as it has been this
past week.

Speaker 4 (01:32:08):
I certainly hope, so, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:32:11):
Yeah, it's got to settle down. Besides that next week
is the last week of Papril February, and I'll be
glad to see February go me.

Speaker 4 (01:32:19):
Yeah, bro.

Speaker 1 (01:32:28):
To get up close and personal with my stupid world
by interacting with the podcast through in Saint Eric Lane's
Stupid World telegram channel. I post the actual articles I
use in the podcast episodes every weekend from this week's

(01:32:50):
collection of stupidity. When you join the channel, you'll get
to read the actual stories, see the photos, watch the
amazing videos from the stupidity I talk about in each episode.
You can make comments about what you've read or seen,
even comment with your own suggestions or opinions about what
I've talked about. You can share some links to the
stupid stories that you've encountered. So visit t dot me

(01:33:11):
slash Insane Eric Lane t dot m e slash insane
e r I K L A n E, and you
get a preview of the channel and a link to
download the Telegram messenger app to your smartphone. It's also
available in desk cop versions as well, and it's supported
on Windows, Linux, Apple, and Android platforms. Telegram It's a
secure messaging app that is gaining in popularity. To learn more,

(01:33:32):
visit Telegram dot O r.

Speaker 24 (01:33:35):
G Call Call, Cool, Chong Call, Good Call Call Insane.

Speaker 6 (01:33:50):
Eric Lane's Stupid World is produced with the support from Envision,
wise Llcanamericcountry dot Com from Wise brother Media, Universal Comedy
at the United Stations, Radio Networ, Sheet Happens dot Com,
Good Parts Media and Mister Laps.

Speaker 25 (01:34:04):
The music from Randy Stonehill. It's a great, big Stupid
World copyright nineteen ninety two Stonehillian Music, Word Music, Twitch
and Vibes Music and is available anywhere you've purchased music.

Speaker 2 (01:34:15):
Thanks for making it to the end of Insane Eric
Lane's Stupid World. Please make sure you still have your
wits with you as you leave. And if this has
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(01:34:36):
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Speaker 4 (01:34:41):
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