Stupidest Parking Ticket; Swimming Hole Sex Show; & Idaho Bans "Truck Nuts"

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Everything you're about to hear is true. None of the
names have been changed because no one is innocent from stupidity.
It's a great based world, ever stupid. I'm inst Eric Lane.

(00:29):
Welcome to my stupid world. It's the MIDWEK bonus episode
with extra stupidity to get you through the week. And
if it's stupid enough, give it a five star rating,
because you're getting five star stupidity. Well, let's see, for
the second time that I have lived in Central Pennsylvania,
I got my call of duty to jury selection. This

(00:55):
time I got selected. Yeah, well, it's just gonna be
a one day trial involving drugs, you know, just it's
like an every day occurrence round here. But hey, you know,
I did my civic duty, went to the county courthouse,

(01:15):
sat around while they went.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Through the meticulous process of the process of elimination of
everyone that could possibly be qualified for the various cases.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
That were on the docket today. And for all my
inconvenience in trouble, I got many, many thank yous, and
eleven dollars and four cents of my county tax dollars
in cash, So there you go. And that included my
gas mileage oh you boy. Fortunately though there was. It's

(01:54):
pretty boring, pretty mundane, andlike things that happen in airports.
Boy o boy, I tell you, if you want to
see where it's happening, you go to airports. In fact,
at the DFW airport security they're trying to capture this
woman but could not do so despite the best efforts
of male and female private security and apparently distraught woman

(02:20):
and that is putting it mildly sprayed water on a
security guard and ran through Terminal five at DFW Airport
in Dallas. The video has been posted to x by
several users obviously that saw the event. One capturing the
wild scene wrote quote nicked white lady attack staff at airport,

(02:43):
destroys property. But butter ball nicked. Not one shot fired,
no taser, taser, taser, just letting the valley girl run
around funking up the place. Where are the parents? Why
is she able to get away with this? But butter
Ball nked. Yeah. The incident involved this butterball naked woman

(03:05):
at DFW, as depicted in that x post, occurring during
the busy spring break holiday travel period. Of course, it
appears to have occurred shortly before the post was actually made.
The x post was shared back in March of this
twenty twenty five year. Additionally, a related web result from

(03:27):
View from the Wing, which is published also in March,
described a similar incident involving a naked woman in DFW's
Terminal D, where she was recorded yelling, tossing a drink,
damaging a boarding door at Gate D four. Given the
timing of the web article in the X post, it's
likely that the incident captured in the X post either
happened on or around March twenty fourth, twenty twenty five,

(03:50):
or is referring to the same event reported earlier. The
ex post caption quote just another day at Dallas Airport,
and the image is overlay TODFW Airport Terminal D, aligned
with the details in the View from the Wing article,
suggesting the event took place on March twenty fourth, twenty
twenty five, or very close to that date. Unfortunately, the

(04:13):
exact date of the incident isn't explicitly stated in the expost,
but the proximity of the reporting dates point to this
time frame. Yes, appearing without clothing in a public place
like DFW Airport in Texas is generally illegal and could
result in charges of indecent exposure, disorderly conductor of public lewdness.
Depending on these specifics of the event, the woman in

(04:36):
the ex post could face legal consequences ranging from fines
to jail time and potentially more severe outcomes like sex
offender registration depending on the interpretation of reactions and any
prior criminal history. Security try to capture her, but it
could not do so despite the best efforts of male
and female private security. Of course, it was also kind

(04:57):
of confusing as to where to g Everything was just
jiggling around all over the place. You know, you know,
you call women like this, don't him a spirit Airlines customer.
Air travel is so crazy these days, even the terrorists
are for you to fly, you know. Okay, I don't know,

(05:18):
but would you maybe consider that this just might be
the stupidest parking ticket of all time. I mean, parking
in Central pa is a pain in the neck, and
some people even have a lower opinion. Okay, and frankly,
if you were to ask somebody about the stupidest parking
ticket they've ever received, well, I'm sure you've got some

(05:38):
pretty good stories, but this guy probably has everyone. Beat
A man in Montreal is fighting a parking ticket that
his daughter got in front of her own house on
April first, and it's so bad it should be in
April fool's prank, but it's not. Early in the morning,
the city installed signage for a brand new bus stop

(06:00):
right in front of Leno Monteleone's house. The sign is
actually in his front lawn. The crew finished up around
five minutes to eight in the morning. Then just ten
minutes after the sign was put up, parking enforcement came
by and gave his daughter a parking ticket for her

(06:20):
car blocking the bus stop. Really, here's explaining what happened.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
There was no sign the night before. Now I got
to waste my time to go past the ticket, and
if they refuse my contests, I actually got to go
to court to actually fight a ticket, which is completely
completely wrong. Well, now one bus has passed by, and
I think they should notify it and put up a
sign before the official sign thing there will be a
new sign.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Now here's the kicker. Her car was there overnight before
the bus stop even existed. The man says they were
given no advance warning about the bus stop coming, and
there's no way they could have even known that. They
wouldn't have been able to park there, and the city agrees.
They say they never update property owners about their ten
thousand bus stops. But the ticket will not be reversed.

(07:09):
They say, Once so ticket is written, there's nothing they
can do. What. Well, the man is obviously contesting this stupidity,
but he's annoyed that he has to spend all his
time and energy on something so stupid. It's time to
lawyer up and sock it to him. Baby. They're calling

(07:30):
it ridiculous, awkward, weird, and I so sore. Even worse,
it might not even work, one person says, I mean,
right now everyone is just driving through the middle of it.
Others have wondered why this was the solution. Instead of
speed bump signs or flashing lights, how about just a
cop car sitting there. It looks like the zigzag pattern

(07:51):
is going to be sticking around, at least for now.
I mean this zigzag pattern. They look too tight, frankly.
I mean, even so, even if Harver does slow down,
they're probably not going to bother sharply weaving in and
out to try to stay between the lines. I mean,
here's an interesting fact anyway, I mean, Lombard Street isn't
just painted crooked, it was redesigned to beat crooked and

(08:14):
Kirby to make the hill less steep. Lombard has a
natural twenty seven percent grade. Now coincidentally, San Francisco's surveyor
actually named that street in San Francisco Lombard Street, after
the Lombard Street in Philadelphia, not far from the new

(08:35):
Zigzaggy Road. So I don't know, it's the whole thing
is Zigzaggy. Frankly Well marbid Leobe's thirty three year old
man was arrested in Texarkana, Texas by the police there
for ramming a Tesla cyber truck with his mini four
wheeler demark Quin. Marquis Cox was arrested after one of

(08:57):
his alleged attacks was actually recorded by the Tesla that
he purposely ran into. The attack was captured by the
cyber truck's Century Mode video security system. The man allegedly
spotted the electric vehicle sitting in the parking lot of
a Golden Palace Chinese buffet while its owner was having
lunch inside. Cox loaded back and rammed head on into

(09:20):
the side of the red Tesla. According to the video
obtained by KTBSTV, the five foot two inch four hundred
and forty nine pound driver left noticeable damage to the
front driver's side door on her victor Vitira Karstaff and
tells the outlet. Karstaffan who was alerted to the attack
by a phone notification, said that she would have to

(09:44):
shell out one thousand bucks to replace the entire door.
Police were called to the area of Cox's rampage after
a second test that was damaged at a nearby lows.
According to the Texarkana Police Department, the four wheeled menas
was stopped by cops about a mile south of Golden
Palace as an officer recognized Cox from the Chinese buffet video.
Cox allegedly claimed to be a different person and provided

(10:07):
a false name during his initial interrogation with police. Officers
didn't fall for the cocky attitude and arrested him. Police
say the man may be responsible for other attacks on
tesla's in the area that day.

Speaker 4 (10:19):
Now.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
The viral video from the cyber truck shows the attacker
almost getting thrown off of his little four wheeler as
he rammed the Tesla, then recovering and switching to reverse.
They yet to be determined suspect had carved Elon into
the side of the other two cars, seemingly as a
reference to Tesla's CEO, Elon Musk. Cox has only been

(10:40):
charged with damaging the first car, but officials said the
investigation is ongoing there may be more charges filed later.
He's being held in the Bi State Justice Ander on one
hundred and five thousand dollars bond. Nothing like, you know,
a big fat guy on a little four wheeler deliberately
almost throwing himself off of his view rams of Tesla.

(11:01):
That's always nice. Of course, It's all caught on a
video and it'll be put on the Telegram channel so
you can watch such entertaining pastime. This is the important
kind of science, so that we need to be doing
right definitely. I mean, we need to have more self
chilling beer cans, and they have finally arrived. A startup
in the UK called Delta h Innovations has been working

(11:23):
on something called a cool can. It looks like an
ordinary can until you check the bottom. There's a power
button that activates the beer cooling technology. It also works
on soda or any liquid. Here's the founder in the
CEO of Delta h Innovations, James Weiss talking about this
product and Tech editor Alex Pell trying it out for

(11:45):
the first time.

Speaker 5 (11:46):
What I can say is a natural, organic salt based
component which is fully biodegradable, something you find in hand creams. Actually,
I have the softest hands and a host and it's
activated by water. We've got a product that ticks the
sustainability Bob's, cost effective, scalable, and it actually reduces the
temperature of a beverage. Simply turn the can upside down

(12:08):
and then push the button down briefly, give it a
little stir.

Speaker 6 (12:12):
That's opened the can.

Speaker 5 (12:13):
See how cold it is.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
That is a cold drink.

Speaker 7 (12:17):
I mean it's not ice cold, but it definitely feels
like it's been chilled, and I'd be very happy to
drink it now.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
There's an inner wall like insulated mugs. Pushing the power
button blends the water with a mix of salts that
cause cooling reaction. The outside of the can gets pretty
well freezing cold and just a few seconds. The only
disappointing part is that it still takes a while to
chill the beer. Depending on how hot it is, it
could take up to ten minutes to get cold, but

(12:43):
it eventually gets down to about forty three degrees. They
say that the best part is the cooling reaction that
continues every time you take a sip, so it can
stay cold for forty five minutes. Huh, what overkilled? Frankly,
you know, I mean just one beer. Some just need five.
I only hold seventy percent of what the normal can would,
so for twelve ounces, it has to be the size

(13:04):
of a sixteen ouncer, so a tall boy or maybe
a pounder. It's meant for situations where you might want
a cold drink but not have any way of chilling it.
You could take a twelve pack out of the camping
but not bring a cooler or ice. They say the
cans can still be recycled and it shouldn't raise the
price too much. They call the additional cost per can marginal.

(13:26):
But it's not clear how soon you'll be able to
see the self cooling cans in stores, but they are
already in talks with major beer makers Coca Cola and
Red Bull, so be watching for those self cooling cans
coming soon. The public sex session for this particular situation
did not go swimmingly. A shameless man caught having sex

(13:50):
in a popular family swimming spot reportedly emerged from the
water and then ordered the onlookers to give him their
cell phones containing the footage of his brazen broad daylight romp.
The incident occurred at the Ian Dipple Lagoon on Australia's
Gold Coast, with the purp and his partner picture getting

(14:10):
it on in the shallows at about one thirty in
the afternoon. The lagoon is a popular spot for feeding
pelicans and is frequented by families and tourists alike. One
witness writes on Facebook, we were in disbelief. According to
the Cold Coast Bulletin, the couple was engaging in these
sexual acts fully knowing that there were onlookers, many of

(14:31):
whom were families with young children. Shockingly, the lagoon lovemaker
gets out of the water and approaches the group of
accidental onlookers and asks for money and gets verbally abusive.
He demanded we instantly hand him our phones or give
payment for having watched his so called performance. The person

(14:51):
claimed this, recounting this horrifying experience, He continue to state
he didn't perform for free, and people paying for what
we just witnessed. They told the man the recording they
captured would be turned over to the police and they
ran to a nearby hotel for safety. Public sex is
illegal on the Gold Coast of Australia. Many result in
fines are imprisonment. The eyewitness said that they shared the

(15:13):
experience online to warn people thinking of visiting the lagoon
because they caught the impression that the man is a regular. Yeah, okay,
take off your clothes, jump in the water, and don't
forget to put the tip jar outside. A New Jersey
police chief is getting accused of turning the department into
animal house like atmosphere in his department. Notices were filed

(15:37):
by five officers who've worked under Chief Robert Farley at
the North Bergen Police Department to sue Farley for assaultant harassment,
alleging he engaged in quote unquote pranks at the department,
including defecating on the floor in waste baskets, exposing himself,
shaving his body hair over people's property and food, using

(15:59):
race slurs, jabbing an officer in the penis with a
hypodermic needle, forcing officers to do homework for his child,
spiking the office coffee with drugs including viagra, and scraping
fluids from his underwear on the people seated in the
sheep's office. According to one of the officers, noticed to sue, well,
this guy's a real party. The allegations also include practical jokes,

(16:24):
including putting ink or raw eggs on doorknobs, clogging toilets
with paper, microwaving hot sauce in a situation that created
noxious fumes, putting firecrackers under workers' chairs, setting off car
alarms New Jersey. According to new nj dot com reports,
Farley is also accused of lashing out an anger at times,

(16:44):
including allegedly pulling a TV monitor from the wall and
smashing it, smashing a plaque on someone's desk, and pulling
a doorbell from a wall. The aforementioned officer said that
when he complained about the hypodermic needle incident, Farley told me,
I don't know how to take a joke. What he
had a hype it during netality your manhood, and you're

(17:04):
supposed to laugh about it. The officer says. Farley retaliated
against officers who complained by assigning them to unfavorable shifts,
denying the promotions, and sending sex toys to their houses.
According to NBC. Here's the lawyer representing the other officers
in the department, Patrick Tuscano, and retired NYPD officer and
Professor Christopher Mercado, talking about the accusations. Then remarks were

(17:29):
made to them along the lines, if you can't take
a joke, if you can't take it, get out, retire,
get lost. Officers are not going to engage. They're going
to go in and they're going to do their shift,
and they're going to leave. Worst case scenario, it's gonna
get up in quick Downship denies the allegations and says
he is confidence in Farley, but then it has proactively
referred the allegations to the Hudson County Prosecutor's Office for
review in order to avoid the appearance of a conflict

(17:51):
of interest. Some of the officers involved say the situation
has been referred to an Attorney General's office in the
the state investigation is underway. This guy sounds like he's
just a real barrel of monkeys, a University of Maryland says,
this year's commencement speaker is an environmental advocate, best selling author,

(18:12):
and a Peabody Award winner. He's also green at the
university says the one and only Kermit the Frog will
deliver the address to graduate's choice. It says honors the
long history between the university and up its creator, Jim Henson.
According to The Hill, Henson, a home economics major who

(18:34):
graduated from the university in nineteen sixty, created the first
version of Kermit in nineteen fifty five from a halved
ping pong ball in one of his mother's coats. Nothing
could make these feet happier than to speak at the
University of Maryland, says Kermit in a news release from
the university. I just know the class of twenty twenty
five is going to leap into the world and make

(18:54):
it a better place. So if a few encouraging words
from a frog can help, then I'll be there. Jim
Henson died in nineteen ninety and Kermit has been a Actually,
Kermit has been performed by puppeteer Matt Vogel since the
twenty seventeen The Diamondback Student Paper reports the statue of
Henson and his creation stands outside the University student Union.

(19:18):
At previous University of Maryland commencement speakers having been Al Gore,
Michael Bloomberg, and last year Maryland Governor Wes Moore. So
I guess Kermit is in good company. Kermit was the
commencement speaker in nineteen ninety six at Southampton College of
Long Island University, where he was awarded an honorary doctorate
of Amphibious Letters. According to The Washington Post, as we

(19:40):
say in the wetlandsbit riddit, which means may success and
a smile always be yours, even when you're knee deep
in the sticky muck of like he tells graduates. So
take that as a good life lesson from an amphibian.
And there's a United Airline pilot that made contact with

(20:01):
the kite ended up hitting a plane attempting to land
at Reagan National The airlines of the aircraft landed safely,
customers deplaned normally in the Upon inspection, there was no
damage to the aircraft. The Metropolitan Washington Airport's authority set
officers warned some individuals about flying kites and briefly confiscated
a kite. Here's some of the audio from the air

(20:23):
traffic control with the eyewitnesses, Dylan Oakes talking about what happened. Yeah,
the board, you were calling me those the details about
the kite to whether it's over the park, I was.

Speaker 8 (20:34):
It was park about hundred feet over the town. It
looked like a freight on the flight were a little
bit loaded.

Speaker 6 (20:40):
And that plane came in contact with the kite as
it was descending into land. We saw the kite kind
of come down and sort of get tangled, if you will,
at the wing area.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Apparently the park near the airport where the kite was
being flown has a rule kites are not allowed. The
latest incident comes today after a Delta Airlines plane nearly
crashed midair with the T thirty eight Air Force jet
near DCA. Delta Airlines flight to twenty nine eighty three
and an Airbus A three nineteen headed the Minneapolis Saint
Paul where four US Air Force T thirty eight talons.

(21:13):
We're in bound to Arlington National Cemetery for a flyover.
The FAA said the Delta plane received an on board
alert that another aircraft was nearby, and air traffic controllers
issued corrective instructions to both aircraft. Now, the NTSB said
it was aware of a loss of separation between Delta
Flight twenty nine eighty three and other aircraft shortly after
takeoff from DCA. So just if you're gonna go fly

(21:38):
a kite, don't fly it there. Okay, move over, kl though.
There's a new powerhouse plant in town. It's been dubbed
the new spirulina, after another blue green algae that's been
hailed as a super food by the wellness community. Its name,
which is somewhat unfortunate, is Chlororella vulgaris Chlorilla vulgaris. And

(22:06):
here's the backstory, which is also just as unappetizing. It's
a freshwater algae. They use it to clean up sewage water.
Now it's been rebranded, you might say, the same microscopic
plant that's been used to scrub up wastewater might be
scrubbing up your skin. Chlorella is a nutrient packed food,

(22:30):
specifically a green algae, potential to be called the next
big superfood, according to dietitian Roxanna A. Hanse talking to
Fortune Magazine. It's rich in protein, omega three, fatty acids
and vitamins and minerals like B twelve, B six C, D,
folly in, vitamin K, iron, zinc, copper, calcium, potassium, and magnesium.

(22:53):
According to a study in twenty twenty. Proponents claim it
may prevent and or treat a multitude of health issues,
including cancer, hepatitis, ce, non alcoholic fatty liver disease, the
common cold, asthma, lead toxicity, aging, pre menstrual syndrome, metabolic syndrome,
peptic ulcers, and cardiovascular risk factors. According to dietitian Toby

(23:17):
Amidore in Today's Dietitian, too good to be true, isn't it?
Research has shown that the microalgaies antioxidant properties can also
have a detoxifying effect, boost immunity, and lower your cholesterol,
and some studies have even found it can fight depression.
My goodness, just this is definitely worth checking out right. Wait,

(23:42):
it's already popular in Japan and South Korea. It's used
in supplements and smoothies. It can be found in health
food stores in the US in the form of dark
green powder or tablets. Don't expect it to taste like
a delicious seaweed salad. You might want to prefer the
tablet form. Early adapters have described it as having an earthy,

(24:02):
bitter or fishy flavor. As such, A Hansei recommends mixing
it into juice, cooking batter, or a smoothie tamask the taste.
So will America trade in their avocado toast for algae lattes?
Time will only tell. LA man in Oregon says someone

(24:25):
keeps leaving large gallon sized bottles of pea inside his
recycling ben. The jugs were filled to the brim with
yellow urine, dark, poorly hydrated, stinky, white, foaming pea is
considered a biohazard, so it cannot be processed by recyclers.
It can only be thrown out. The problem became so

(24:48):
persistent when resident trained to security camera at his curb
in hopes of shaking out the truth, and captured footage
of a hooded man rolling up by night in what
appears to be a BMW, then slinking out of his
trunk and emptying armloads of piss filled jugs into the bins.
The resident says, it's a lot of pea. Alex Van

(25:09):
Dunn filed a police report and argued that because the
p was placed in the recycling bin instead of the trash,
the behavior was criminal. Here's Alex talking about his problem.

Speaker 8 (25:20):
So I went to open the blue bin and lo
and behold, there was a nice deposit of gallon sized
bottles of urine, to put it plainly, And there were
six of them. And I don't know why he's hitting
the same location so many times. That doesn't make any
sense to me, and or why he is doing it.
Somebody was like, maybe it's a you know, a ring

(25:40):
that they've kidnapped some people and they're trying to get
rid of their fecal matter.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Maybe he's watching. I don't know.

Speaker 8 (25:46):
Please stop, Please just don't do it anymore.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
He's also decided to take the matter into his own
hands and started selling his bins or setting his bins
out in a new location. Hopefully he can lure the
suspect back and catch him with a new camera angle.
Oh okay, I'd try some other way of booby trapping
that thing somehow. Well. In an unusual series of events,
a third pooping incident has occurred in the line that

(26:12):
the Guardians of the Galaxy mission breakout at Disney's California Adventure.
Remember this was the story that was also previously heard
on an earlier episode. According to a report from a
Disneyland cast member, the latest incident has led to a
temporary closure of a section of the ride's a queue
where the smell was reported to be noticeable to guests.

(26:33):
The incident, which marks the second of its kind and
one day third time in a month, is raised eyebrows
among park visitors and cast members alike. The unnamed cast
member who works at DCA relate the information through an
internal cast communication platform, sharing that a portion of the
line had to be closed off for cleaning. Disneyland a

(26:55):
DCA are no strangers of quirky moments or unusual occurrences.
The frequent see of these incidents has taken many by surprise.
As of now, it's unclear whether the incidents are isolated
or if there is a specific trend causing the disruptions now.
In response to the third incident, Disneyland has yet to
release an official statement. Disneyland's stringent health and safety protocols

(27:17):
have been well established in the post pandemic era, but
incidents like these remind both cast members and guests that
unexpected challenges still arise. Obviously, the news of the multiple
incidents has sparked some buzz among park visitors. While many
are laughing at off, others have expressed concern over the
impact these disruptions may have on their experience. Of course,

(27:39):
It remains unclear that whether these incidents will become a
recurring issue, but Disneyland's operations team will undoubtedly continue to
monitor the situation and sniff out the problem. At this time,
Disneyland has not announced any specific changes to the attraction policies,
but parkgoers are advised to be aware of potential delays
or changes in the queue as the cleaning process continues. Well, look,

(28:05):
half of our listeners are at least driving buzzed right now.
Probably didn't know that, but a lawyer in fort Worth,
Texas is in the news for claiming that you could
be slapped with a DUI from drinking too much coffee.
He posted a video about how dui and DWI do

(28:27):
not mean booze or illicit drugs. Specifically, they if they
impair your ability to drive. Legal drugs can also get
you in trouble, and he specifically mentioned caffeine. Okay, he said,
it's not something that actually happens, but it could, but
there are examples of people getting arrested for it. Here

(28:50):
he is talking about getting a DWI from caffeine.

Speaker 4 (28:53):
It's a DWI I meaning driving them all intoxicated. That
intoxicated portion can be alcohol. Now substance including caffeine. Now,
let's be honest, we don't see that happen. Somebody has
too much caffeine DWI.

Speaker 9 (29:06):
But it's a good example of it can be any
other substance, meaning it doesn't have to be illegal, doesn't
have to be prescribed or prescribed to somebody else, nothing
like that that impairs or intoxicates you.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
You can be ar wrestled for DWI. I got in California,
got pulled over in twenty fifteen for driving erradically. Caffeine
was the only thing in his system, and they charged
it with the DUI for it. They eventually dropped the
charge after they couldn't prove that there was enough caffeine
in his system to be intoxicated from it. But in theory, yes,
you could get it to uife and having one too

(29:40):
many expressos. Okay, this guy had one too many of something.

Speaker 5 (29:44):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
There was a substitute security officer in Pasadena, California who's
accused of duct taping the mouth of an eleven year
old I mean duct taping it shut because she was
talking too much, which is typical of an eleven year
old girl. The family of knowing me. Hurtado, the sixth grader,
said security guard forced no A Me to duct tape
her own mouth because the girl was talking too much

(30:07):
on the playground. On the playground, the family said the
girl was then paraded from the school office across campus
to her next class with the tape still covering her mouth.
Now g Ali with Project Islamic Hope, who's helping the family,
said that's what kids do. She had every right to

(30:28):
play and talk, but instead she was the target of
an over zealous security guard who duct taped her, took
her to the office, and put tape over her mouth.
City of Pasadena confirmed its police department took a report
that day and said detectives are investigating the allegations. The
Pasadena Unified School District released a statement saying the substitute
security officer is no longer employed with the district. Well,

(30:50):
at least that's a good thing. They take kick him
and his tape out. At the same time, Well, Idaho's
governor signed a law a bill into a law into
a bill that criminal criminalizes the public exposure of breasts,
male breasts altered to look like female breasts, artificial breasts,
and toys products that resemble genitals, like truck nuts. You've

(31:13):
seen those truck nuts, haven't you. The bill updates Idaho's
indecent Exposure Law, which already bans public exposure of genitals
to include female breasts, male breasts altered to look like
female breasts, artificial breasts, and toys or products that resemble genitals. Breastfeeding,
of course, is exempt. Well, here's the Idaho legislature debating

(31:34):
this very important bill.

Speaker 7 (31:35):
I've also heard an argument about this bill saying, well,
it could penalize people who put certain things on their
trailer hitches. I don't you know, there's I don't think
we need to go into that, but there's certain things
people put on their trucks that look like the part
of look like part of a male anatomy.

Speaker 10 (31:55):
They call them truck nuts. They're gross, they're offensive, and
on the.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Road see them.

Speaker 10 (32:01):
So why wouldn't the police get a call and say
that offends me, pull it off the truck, because now
this bill will allow it.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
The bill takes effect immediately through an emergency clause. Now,
Governor Brad Little there assigned that bill, according to the
Governor's office. Legislation tracker supporters said The bill would protect
decency and modernize IDs and modernize Idaho's indecent exposure laws,
now opponents say could unduly punish transgender Idahoans and mates

(32:31):
experiencing hormonal conditions at in large breasts. The Republicans super
majority control legislature widely passed the bill with support of
eighty seven Republicans state lawmakers in opposition from the fourteen
Democratic state lawmakers. Nampa City council member Sebastian Griffin helped
craft the bill, telling lawmakers the bill stem from him

(32:51):
seeing a topless woman at an event at Lakeview Park
in Nampa, where Canyon County Pride was held. He testified
a police officer that he approached at the time the
person wasn't engaging in illegal behavior. It's because it's not
illegal for a man with breast enhancements to walk around topless,
according to the officer, says to Griffin, the first violation
of the Idaho's indecent Exposure law is a misdemeanor. Of

(33:14):
second offense within five years is a felony. So take
those truck nuts off, okay, Well, it can affect aus
mileage when your tires are not properly inflated. We all
know that, right, No big deal, Just top them off
right when you get a chance. Well, a pair of

(33:34):
idiots in Nashville, Tennessee got arrested because they stopped put
air in their tires during a high speed chase. Cop
noticed their license plate was obscured, tried to pull them over.
The guy driving didn't stop, but sped off. He apparently
thought he outran them, didn't realize the police helicopter was
also trailing him. They saw him putting air in his

(33:55):
tires after pulling into a gas station, so cop showed
up and arrested them both. They didn't share info on
the passenger with The driver's name is Jonathan Choppa and
he's not just in trouble for running. Officers smelled weed
and found a large bag of pot in the center console.
They also found a backpack with more pot and plastic
baggies and two digital scales. Well, the driver admitted to

(34:18):
the weed was his and he was also driving on
a suspended license. Just keeps getting better. No word on
the exact charges are facing. But you know, if you
in a police chase, you might want to not worry
about the air and your tires. You know. The mayor
of Lumberton, New Jersey, though, was arrested for drunk driving
while her son was in the car with her on

(34:39):
an afternoon of Saint Patrick's Day. Newly released body camera
video shows officers getting out of the patrol car and
approaching Mayor Gina Laplasa or LaPlaca in her driveway. Officers
wade while she takes her son, who she just picked
up from daycare, out of this car seat. In the
bodycam video, LaPlaca is seeing using her balance twice. The

(35:02):
mirror on the passenger side of her vehicle is visibly damaged.
Here's actually some of the bodycam audio from when Mayor
Gina the Placa of Lumberton got herself arrested.

Speaker 4 (35:12):
Your in the red light, You're I'm sorry, sends Your
blood alco problem is so high.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
We'll have to take you to the hospital.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
So all you're going to do is just check you
out and then you'll just be released.

Speaker 6 (35:24):
We received multiple videos that you swerving in and out
of traffic.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Officers have had to have her performed field sobriety test,
where she could be seen stumbling again and losing her
balance while investigating inside the Placa's car, the officer found
a water bottle full of alcohol and a small liquor bottle.
The Placa was taken into custody in charge of driving
under the influence, as well as other related offenses. At
the police station, the Placa is told but the officers

(35:49):
a have the videos showing her driving ramatically, and she's
told about the charges against her. Following her arrest, the
Placa's husband, James Cardi, a political activist and former a
seconded director of the New Jersey Brewers Guild, posted on
social media to say LaPlaca has struggled with addiction. Obviously so.

(36:11):
A forty year old mom named Claire Cave is now
a rock in a medical boot because she broke her foot. Why,
you might ask, she did it in probably the stupidest
way possible. She was on vacation in Grange over Sand's,
Cumbria with her twenty nine year old cousin. They were
celebrating her birthday and Claire decided to try the thing

(36:35):
we talked about in a previous podcast episode hashtag dropping
things on my foot challenge. Yes, this is where people
literally drop heavy objects on their feet and rate the pain.
After hanging out at a few bars. The woman returned
to the hotel room, where Cave decided to replicate the

(36:56):
hashtag dropping things on my foot challenge, which is exactly
as ridiculous as it sounds. Cave told Kennedy News, Honestly,
I don't even know what went through my head, but
I think it's just because I'd seen so many on
TikTok and I thought I'll give that one a try
as well. The tipsy mother of two began by dropping

(37:16):
a spoon, which she rated a one out of ten
on a pain scale. Then there was a door stop
she rated two out of ten. After a few more
drinks and a little too much confidence, she eventually dropped
the hotel standing fan in a full suitcase, which she
rated an eight out of and a ten out of ten,
one of which she believed broke Her foot. Wasn't really

(37:38):
hurting that much at the time. It just hurt for
a split second. When you stub your toe, you hold
your foot, you know it's okay, you get over it.
So I just continued. But the next morning, when she
tried to walk on the foot, she knew something was wrong.
She went to the Sunderland General Hospital and an x
ray show that she had broken her fourth met a

(37:58):
tarsel bone and suffered ligament damage, meaning she has to
wear a medical boot for six weeks. I think we
should have a new challenge stupid people wearing a boot
who do stupid tricks on TikTok. The pain was unbelievable,
Cave said. I obviously wasn't expecting to break my foot.
Nobody does expect to break their foot when they do

(38:18):
stupid things to embarrass until the doctor's what really happens.
She's now warning others to not make the same mistake,
and TikTok, well, they've already pulled the trend from the
violating community standards because we wouldn't want parents to do
stupid things that they see their kids do. There's a
new dating app out there called Tribal, and it's really

(38:39):
changing the game. They're blurring pictures of people that you're
chatting with for seventy two hours. Gone are the days
of endlessly swiping on dating apps, quickly judging a book
by its cover before making a split second decision to
swipe left or right. This is so you can get
to know them personally before making a decision based on

(39:00):
how they look. A concept what a concept. It comes
in response to the dramatic rise of loneliness and mental
health implications to come with that. Now here's the creator
of the Tribal app, Rachel Harker, explaining what Tribal is
all about.

Speaker 11 (39:15):
Tribal is essentially a friendship and dating app, but it's
really based on psychology and it's all about combating loneliness
and the improving social connection Chinese technology in a really
positive way. So the profile build and the questions are
all around compatibility and values, and that's how people are
matched and brought together. And I guess the psychology behind

(39:37):
that is having aligned values and really trying to just
eliminate that kind of superficial swipe culture.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
Harker witnessed friends and colleagues trapped and a frustrating cycle
with traditional apps often feeling defeated by ghosting and swipe
fatigue and surface level interactions. Harker noted that many dating
apps have missed the mark in this area, leaving users
disillusioned and hopeless and there's for partners now. In her opinion,
traditional apps have become both superficial and unethical, with hidden

(40:06):
algorithms and subscription fees for better matches. Dating landscape has
really devolved into a purely numbers game, so maybe this
will change the game. Certainly will change your perception. A
thirty four year old California woman with the world's longest
tongue three point eight inches, showed off some of the
tricks she can perform with her massive mouth muscle, including

(40:28):
removing jinga blocks. Chanelle Tapper, who has the Guinness World
Record for the longest tongue for females that it's twenty ten,
said that her tongue, which measures three point eight inches
from tip to her lips, gets her in an array
of reactions. She says, Honestly, the best reaction I could
ever get when someone sees my tongue is screaming. I

(40:48):
actually do like when people yell or scream in shock
or horror. Sometimes she tells ginness, but probably that's my
favorite one because it's funny to me, because it's a
dramatic response. Tapper showed off some of the tricks that
she's learned to perform with her tongue, including removing jinga blocks,
flipping plastic cups, and holding a spoon. I like a

(41:09):
little fun silly things like that. That's what makes my
tongue the most fun. I can do things that are
outside the box with it, she says. I'm sure she's
a lot of fun with bar bets. Tapper said that
being a Guinness World record Holder has provided it with
some unexpected opportunities, including appearing as an advertising campaign for
an Italian fashioned brand Diesel. My favorite thing, she says,

(41:29):
about being a record holder, has to be when I
get to travel and meet other record holders as well well. Definitely,
if you ever decide to give her a big throaty kiss,
you'd better watch out. Another unique weapon has been unlocked
in the Sunshine State. A forty year old Florida woman
has been charged with felony battery for allegedly attacking a

(41:51):
mal acquaintance with a deadly weapon to win a large
conch shell with barnacles. According to police, investigators charged that
Niki Quaterman was very intoxicated they always are. She got
into a verbal domestic relation related argument with her sixty

(42:12):
three year old victim. The pair have been on and
off of a relationship in the past decade, according to
a criminal complaint, After the argument, Quarterman took her close
off and started to break everything in the victims Saint
Petersburg residence. According to Copp, somehow in Florida it must
be a requirement to remove all your clothes before you
do something stupid. I just don't get it anyway. After

(42:33):
the man got quartermen to go outside, she allegedly grabbed
a or ten to twelve inch dried conch shell and
swung it at the victim multiple times. A quarterman then
threw the conch shell at the victim, who suffered a
laceration to his hand whenever he sought to block the
incoming shell. She then locked herself in the victim's garage,
but was taken into custody there after a brief struggle.

(42:55):
After posting a fifteen thousand dollars bond, Quaterman was released
from the county jeal. A judge has ordered her to
have no contact with the victim. Quaterman's rap sheet includes
multiple convictions for disorderly intoxication, marijuana possession, as well as
convictions for battery, DUI assault and law enforcement officer and
driving was suspended or revoke license. They always have a

(43:17):
long rap sheet, you know. She was arrested six months
earlier for causing a public disturbance following a verbal dispute
with someone her sometimes bow. After that beef quarterman allegedly
exited the man's house topless and began banging on the
front doors of nearby homes and screaming profanities. That misdemeter
case is pending. Apparently she does like taking off her clothes.

(43:39):
Her friends and families say they barely recognize her anymore.
She's truly a shell of herself. This is really amazing.
I mean, only in Florida gain a mollusk somehow be
turned into a weapon. And then there is a twenty
four year old Utah man who's facing charges after he
allegedly walked into a restaurant naked and armed with a

(43:59):
gun in Utah. Wow Ralph Laurent was arrested on two
counts of lewdness involving a child, both Class A misdemeanors
lewdness and a Class A misdemeanor disorderly conduct, which is
an infraction now. An officer with the Provo Police Department
was dispatched on reports of a nicked man inside of
a restaurant in Utah. One person told officers the man

(44:22):
was flexing muscles aggressively and following people. You don't want
a naked man flexing his muscles and following you, that's
for sure, especially if he's flexing his muscles aggressively. Another
person said the man had a gun. Ralph was still
completely naked when he was taken into custody and placed
in a patrol car. According to the affidavit, more than

(44:42):
a dozen witnesses allegedly saw Laurent in the restaurant and
at a nearby park, including two children. The children and
their father saw Laurent take off his clothes Advice Centennial
Parkner the restaurant that he entered. According to the affidavit,
Laurent was then transported to the Utah County jail as
a gun and with no clothes on he was also

(45:03):
was he flexing his love gun while he was at it?
I don't know. Utah is a definitely beautiful outdoor of scenery,
but these are not the twig and berrys that you
want to see. Get up close and personal with My

(45:29):
Stupid World by interacting with the podcast through in Saint
Eric Lane's Stupid World Telegram channel. I post the actual
articles I use in the podcast episodes every weekend from
this week's collection of stupidity. When you join the channel,
you'll get to read the actual stories, see the photos,
watch the amazing videos from the stupidity I talk about
in each episode. You can make comments about what you've

(45:51):
read or seen, even comment with your own suggestions or
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(46:14):
supported on Windows, Linux, Apple, and Android platforms. Telegram It's
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learn more, visit Telegram dot o RG now well use

(46:36):
them called Eric Wayne.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
It's a week review.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
Well, Lady Gaga announced that she's taking her new album
Mayhem on tour. Yeah, it was nice of her to
let us know because now we can purchase noise canceling headphones.
The album has actually received great reviews, which Gaga isn't
used to after starring in joke two. Last year, ave

(47:03):
all grown goat, standing at about one foot three inches,
has been dubbed the shortest living goat in the world
by Guinness World Records. The goat's real name is Karumbi,
but it's also going by the nickname Tom Cruise. This
thing is fifteen inches in black in color, so you
can expect it to be picked up by one of

(47:25):
the Kardashian sisters. A lava begain bubbling out of Hawaii's
most active volcano once again as Kala's sporadic eruption resumed,
and you haven't seen hot liquid shootout like this since
the last time you ate Chipotle. Most Americans won't give
a hoot about this story anyway, after all, they're only
interested in volcanoes when they're made out of onions and

(47:47):
sitting on top of a Benny Hanna grill. A new
study finds it regular consumption of sugary drinks can cause
your intestines to physically adapt to absorb more sugar, which
means that your intestines can somehow take in more sugar
than a fat kid at crumble cookie. A new study

(48:08):
finds that people who push themselves when working out report
a form of time warp, making it feel as if
they had been exercising for longer than they actually have,
which would explain why being on the treadmill for five
minutes feels like five hours. Intense exercise causes this, meaning
the average American will never experience it. The Walt Disney

(48:31):
World's Magic Kingdom Ride, Buzz light Year, Space Rangers Spin.
It's closed for innovations. They'll be reopening sometime this next year.
It's the most disappointing thing related to Disney since the
New Snow White movie. But luckily you can still go
on Peter Pan's Flight, although knowing Disney these days, it's
more like Peter Pan's sexuals Flight. President Trump just signed

(48:53):
a twenty five percent tarafone new autos and light trucks
built outside the US, and it's all part of the
bigger plan to get people to talk about something besides
the signal leak scandal. Kind of sad. Evidently, President Trump
leaked the news prematurely when he accidentally texted it to
a reporter at the Atlantic And according to the Congressional

(49:14):
Budget Office, the US could run out of money by
the summer if the debt sealing isn't raised. Now. I
think I can speak for millions of Americans when I
say I have no idea what that means. But this
is nice though. To keep America from running out of money,
President Trump is instructing Elon Musk to check his sofa
for some loose change. According to a news study, non

(49:38):
monogamous relationships are just as satisfying as monogamous ones, but
there's one significant difference. You see, non monogamous relationships require
a lot more purell I needless to say, the study
was conducted by a guy, and in case the crisis,
the European Union is urging its citizens to stock supplies

(50:00):
to last three days. And by supplies, I'm pretty sure
they mean wine and cheese, I'll tell you what Europeans
won't be stockpiling deodorant. Canadian Prime Minister Mark Karney is
facing allegations that he copied parts of his nineteen ninety
five doctoral thesis at Oxford without proper credit, and now

(50:22):
that he's accused of plagiarism, he can become president of
Harvard we The report comes as he's seeking election to
remain the country's PM. When Canadian voters head to the polls,
but he's fine because look, if Trudeau is any indication
the Canadians are okay with electing a total fraud. A
new poll from savings dot com finds that fifty percent

(50:43):
of parents are still helping to offset financial pressures for
their adult children, and if these adult children don't do
their chores, they get grounded for a month. The average
amount given to adult children among those surveyed was fourteen
and seventy four bucks a month. These kids are taking
so much money from the elderly you'd think they were

(51:03):
operating a scamphones call center. Only seven New York City
restaurants out of three thousand hoping to set up outdoor
dining have received outdoor liquor licensees from the state liquor authority,
so when Nancy Pelosi visits, she'll definitely be dining indoors.
This means thousands may not be able to legally serve

(51:25):
alcohol outside, and well, that also means the only liquid
you're going to see on New York City streets is urine.
A new Snow White movie now has a lower IMDb
rating than The Human Centipede two. In the Human Centipede
people eat poop. Of course, if you see snow white.
You're just watching poop. Lauren Sanchez, who's getting ready to

(51:49):
marry billionaire Jeff Bezos, stepping out carrying a five thousand,
seven hundred and fifty dollars Balenciaga handbag shaped like a
to go coffee cup, but you can spend much for
a cup of actual coffee and if you just order
something from Starbucks. The purse, which is called the nine
Am Clutch, is a replica of the fashion house's white

(52:10):
porcelain coffee cup, designed to resemble those made of plastic,
whereas Lauren's face and chests are actually made of plastic.
The New York Yankees offense broke out as the team
hit nine home runs in a twenty to nine collaboring
of the Milwaukee Brewers. Of course, the name Brewers is
fitting because their pitching staff had to be drunk. The

(52:32):
New Yorkers are used to a score of twenty to nine,
but that's typically just the Jets and Giants losing. Donald
Trump Junior's socialite girlfriend hit back at a New York
Magazine profile that described the president's oldest son as a
quote a hole. But she has to understand. Look, if
anyone knows about complete a holes. It's the people working
at a New York magazine. They also called Don Junior

(52:55):
quote the most despised member of the Trump family, but
I guess they forgot that ethany exists. And President Trump
reveal the Tiger Woods told him about dating Vanessa Trump
while the two were actually playing golf together, because the
perfect time to drop news like that is when you're
stroking your balls. Tiger may pull out the flagstick, but

(53:16):
that's the only time he's pulling out the sweetish. Researchers
found that many workplace coffee machines produced bruise with high
levels of cafestol and cowil. These are compounds known to
raise LDL cholesterol. Geez, if you thought the only thing
that work was destroying was your will to live, work

(53:37):
coffee could be damaging your heart. And that's definitely damaging
your underwear too. A Florida woman was charged with a
felony after smacking a large water chewing gum onto a tesla,
causing nearly three thousand dollars worth of damage, which is
kind of wild because gum usually just does that kind
of damage in the form of dentel bills. I'm surprised

(53:58):
she wasn't with Harry and Marr from home alone. I mean,
after all, she'd fit right in with those sticky bandits
and a parent of Queensland, Australia. Men were scratching their
heads when they came across a freshwater crocodile several miles
from the animal's nearest natural habitat. People thought they were lying,
but they swore their story was not a crock. They

(54:19):
found a swamp creature far away from home, kind of
like seeing Nancy Pelosi when she's away from California. The
Scream franchise is officially set to make its return with
Scream seven. But with the money that we spend on
Valentine's Day February is terrifying enough, let's just hope this
one is actually scary. During the last movie, the only

(54:39):
time anyone screamed was when they saw Courtney Cox's plastic surgery.
And in a new interview, Kanye West says he didn't
want to have kids with Kim Kardashian, which is kind
of crazy because based on his album history, those kids
are the best thing he's produced in the last ten years.
He said, quote, I didn't want to have children with
this person after the first two months of being with them.
But that wasn't God's plan. But Kanye is so nuts

(55:02):
even God was like, bro leave me out of this.
A scrap between the players between the Timberwolves and the
Pistons spilled out into the fans and led to multiple ejections,
and the fans were annoyed because if they wanted to
watch a crappy fight, they'd just catch a rerun of
Jake Paul versus Mike Tyson. This was absolutely stunning, though,
I mean, after all, fans of the modern day NBA
aren't used to seeing players do anything other than just

(55:24):
shooting three pointers. Elon Musk fired back at Ashley Saint
Claire after she accused him of cutting back on child
support payments. Kind of sounds like Ashley should be employed
in a mine because she's a serious gold digger. I mean,
Amberherd Grimes, Ashley Saint Clair. Look at Elon Musk hung
out with many more mentally unstable women. He'd be a

(55:45):
permanent cast member of the view. A new survey finds
that the average American spends one hundred and thirty eight
minutes mired and where are some thoughts? Every day. This
can't be right, yeah, I mean it has to be
way more than one hundred and thirty eight minutes. An
overwhelming sixty two gen Z and millennial respondents felt or
a report feeling constantly anxious, which is kind of hard

(56:08):
to imagine when your parents are constantly supporting you financially.
More than two hundred people aboard the still let's see
Cunard Line cruise bound for New York contracted norovirus in
the last or latest cruise ship outbreak of this nasty
stomach bug, which is kind of scary because the stomach
bug keeps you on the toilet longer than White Castle

(56:28):
cruises have become neurovirus central, truly putting the poop in
poop deck. And finally, So Many Pictures announced that the
upcoming Spider Man sequel is now titled Spider Man Brand
New Day. Of course, it makes sense that this is
happening because Hollywood is completely out of brand new ideas.
I'm not sure if theaters will be packed for this one, though,

(56:50):
I mean, after all, that would require Spider Man fans
to leave the parents' basement for a few hours. You know,
I'm open to talking about anything, but love talking about

(57:10):
surviving in the stupidity that's always around us. And if
you're insane enough to ask, well, I'm insane enough to
reply and I would love to hear from you. You
can leave me a message at podcast dot Insanericlaan dot
com you have a comment there from a podcast, or
if you have a question, I'll be happy to address
either one. Your question or comment just might be talked

(57:31):
about in a future podcast. And if you are someone
you know would like to join in on the podcast,
you are more than welcome to participate. If you've got
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(57:53):
questions or requests at shout out at insanericlaim dot com,
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and x at ins Eric Lane underth this genius. I'm

(58:22):
simply a human. It's like a caveman thing you said.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Now, this week's a.

Speaker 1 (58:26):
Genius Ward, and in this week's Genius Awards, a twenty
year old man dressed as Spider Man allegedly shoplifted nearly
ten thousand dollars worth of trading cards related to popular
enemy from a shoppy stack staked out in Virginia. Joel
Brown is accused of breaking into Gaming Giant, of family

(58:47):
owned collectible store in Fairfax and taking off with a
stack of valuable cards, all while wearing a Spider Man
costume that covered his face. According to authorities, Brown allegedly
scouted the store ahead of time. Gaming Giant's owner tells
Fox he reportedly came in during operating hours and asked
about specific graded cards related to popular anime series Dragon

(59:07):
Ball Z, One Piece and Pokemon, which were locked in
the display case. Now rare and desirable cards for mini
series can be graded by experts, which can increase their
sell price by thousands of dollars if they're in good condition.
Of course, the store owner said, Brown returned after hours
and broke into the store and made off with numerous
graded slabs as well as sealed Pokemon products. According to

(59:29):
Gaming Giants facebook page, police received some tips about the
burglary and arrested Brown shortly after. He was charged with
burglary and released on an unsecured bond. According to the
Fairfax Police Department, of course, I'm sure that this spider
Man tried denying the theft, but look, he was caught
in a web of lies. The spider Man isn't with
Mary Jane, but based on his love for Dragon Ball

(59:50):
Z and Pokemon, he must love smoking Mary Jane. And
then there's this, a forty one year old Florida man
who was released from state prison last year's back behind
bars after deputy said he had drugs and children in
the vehicle when he was recently pulled over and told
him that he had just smoked marijuana in the car.
According to the Putnam County Sheriff's Offis, Thomas Carpenter was

(01:00:10):
pulled over for a traffic violation. Deputy said that as
they tried to talk to Carpenter, he kept falling his
in and out of sleep. Who Carpenter told deputies that
he and his female passenger smoked marijuana in the vehicle
before they were pulled over. Deputies say neither Carpenter nor
his passenger had a medical marijuana card and the two
children that were in the car at the time. At

(01:00:31):
the traffic stop and according to PCSO, deputies found a
bag inside the vehicle which included drug paraphernilia, marijuana, impossible, methmphetamy.
Carpenter was arrested to take it to the Putnam County
Jail now. According to a post on the Putnam County
Sheriff's Office Facebook page, Carpenter told the deputy there's nothing
wrong with drugs after he was arrested. During the search

(01:00:52):
at the jail, deputies said they found eleven small tied
sandwich bags with a crystal like substance in the front
of his underwear. PCSO said the substance in the bag
and underwear tested positive for methamphetamine with a weight of
about three hundred and twenty two point one grams. Carpenter
was charged with amphetamine trafficking or methamphetamine fourteen grams are over,
possession of marijuana with intend to sell or deliver, two

(01:01:14):
counts of possession of a control substance without a prescription,
smuggling contraband in a county detention facility and three counts
of drug paraphernalia. He says there's nothing wrong with drugs,
but his face tad too say otherwise. I mean, what
an embarrassment to the state of Florida. I mean, that's
really saying something because the Miami Marlins played baseball there,

(01:01:34):
or how about this? A twenty seven year old Florida
woman was arrested after she stole the City of Miami
police officers unmarked police issued vehicle. According to the arrest
report from the Miami Dade Sheriff's Office, Andrea Marie Assoff
and the police officer, who live in the same apartment
building in the Dade Lund area but do not reside
together when out for drinks, deputy said, the officer dropped

(01:01:58):
her off at their apartment building and at some point,
asof who is a leasing agent at the building, entered
his apartment unit using her keyfob, and stole the keys
to his MPD issued vehicle. According to the arrest Reportsof
then texted the officer a photo of herself driving the
police vehicle along Southwest seventy second Avenue. Deputy said the

(01:02:19):
officer text SF back, telling her not to drive the
vehicle Authority says she had later returned the vehicle to
the parking garage. Now, according to the report, the victim
went to Assof's apartment there and to get his car
keys back, at which time Assof threw the keys on
the floor and threw her phone at the officer, striking
him in the back of his head, causing a small cut.
The report states Assof was arrested around two thirty in

(01:02:42):
the morning on charges of burglary of an unoccupied building,
grand theft of a vehicle, and battery of a police officer.
Assof was being held at the Turner Guildford Knight Correctional
Center on an eighty five hundred dollars bond. Tries to
steal a police officer's vehicle. Florida might be the Sunshine State,
but this one ain't too bright. I mean, this cop
had to cover and unfortunately for him, he couldn't use

(01:03:04):
the fuzzy handcuffs. And what about this? A twenty one
year old Florida man who was angry at his dad
drove his father's vehicle into the ocean. Investigators said Joshua
Cuss had brought his dad's car but filled to return
the vehicle to his parents Jacksonville Beach residence. About two
in the morning, cops received a report of an auto

(01:03:25):
in the ocean. When they got to the beach, officers
spott at a gray Subaru floating in the water. Elsewhere
in the report, the car's correctly identified as a twenty
eleven Volvo x C seventy. Police soon located Cuss since
his father had been pinging the location of his son's phone.
Cuss cop to the ocean littering, which he called quote

(01:03:45):
a stupid move, and said that he had recently argued
with his father and aunt. MCCUs had sent his relatives
a one am text warning that quote, I'm going to
drive the car into the Atlantic Ocean. Police said, However,
Cuss advised that they did not take the thread seriously.
Cuss investigators a ledge sought to use a cinder block
to send the car into the ocean, and when that failed,

(01:04:06):
he got into the car and drove it into the water.
He reported turning on all the lights and making sure
nobody was nearby before accelerating the vehicle into the ocean.
While he was driving, he grinned and wished that he
could point his middle finger at his father and aunt,
says the cops. Cus reportedly tells one officer quote, hopefully
they'll listen to me now. After departing the beach, Cus

(01:04:27):
walked to his mother's nearby house. Cuss's parents divorced in
twenty twenty three. After his father decided to press charge
his Cuss was arrested on felony criminal mischief. Cap talk
about daddy issues. This moron was a mean little cuss.
After submerging the car in saltwater, you can expect serious
transmission issues too. This dad wishes his kid just didn't

(01:04:48):
pull out into the ocean. Of course, he also maybe
wishes that he could have used a time machine to
go back and pull out, if you know what I mean.
And you got to check this one out. A Florida
man dressed up like Ronald McDonald arrested for trespassing and
when cops told him he looked like a clown, the
guy responded, no crap, I am a clown. Stupid. Body

(01:05:08):
cam from the police footage shows the moment Palm Bay
police officers rolled up on the Ronald McDonald doubleganger. Things
got tense from the start. Cops tell the clown who
police says a homeless man named Chris marlow to put
his stuff down because he's being arrested, and he responds,
why so you can rob me. Officers try to arrest him,

(01:05:29):
and then a scuffle enshoes with cops taking the clown
to the ground. Video shows cops removing what appears to
be an orange flare gun from the clown's pocket. When
cops shoved the guy into the back of the squad car,
one tells him you look like a clown, and he
gives his blunt, obvious response. The circus continues when the
police searches bag, which is full of a never ending

(01:05:51):
supply of red noses and clown costumes. According to the
legal docs obtained, a TMZ Marlowe is charged with account
of trespass of the than structure or conveyance and resisting
an officer with violence. Cops say that the guy was
previously trespassing at a shopping center where he was walking around,
talking to himself, loitering and serving no purpose on the property,
and police said that he was warned that he would

(01:06:12):
be arrested if he came back. So Ronald McDonald getting
arrested is rather stunning. I mean everyone's expecting it to
be the Hamburgler. You know, this dude is the worst
thing to happen to the McDonald's brand. Well, I mean
just after the creation of the filet of fish, of course.
And you'll never believe this. The stealing more than bases.
A Pennsylvania Copps forty eight year old wife is accused

(01:06:34):
of pocketing nearly one hundred and fifty thousand dollars from
a youth sports program, then blowing the cash on concerts
and lavish shoppings priee while serving as the league's treasurer.
The Carlo O'Brien was booked for stealing one hundred and
forty seven four hundred dollars from the Fox Chapel Area
Baseball Softball Association for personal use when she oversaw the
club's finances over a five year period between twenty nineteen

(01:06:55):
and twenty twenty four. At the Indeana Township resident is
married to a Pittsburgh Police loutet. Our organization has been
and will continue to cooperate with law enforcement related to
the matter, says Fox Chapel Area Baseball Softball Association, which
handles about seven hundred and fifty kids across nearly three
dozen teams tells the Bridgeville's signal item. The alleged thief

(01:07:15):
started pilfering the youth's league's money shortly after she was
elected to her position in early twenty nineteen. Prosecutor said
the organization's board of directors became suspicious when O'Brien continuously
failed to meet with her replacement to turn over the
financial accounts, resulting in the new treasurer threatening to go
back to the bank to sort out the league's affairs.

(01:07:36):
O'Brien then allegedly confessed to association members that she started
stealing the money after a car accident put her and
her husband out of work, claiming she was in a
quote rough spot. Stealing from a softball league is just unacceptable.
She should have just been on the games like a
normal parent. I mean, this all went down in a
little town called Fox Chapel, Pennsylvania. But based on her thiory,

(01:07:59):
she sounds like a real Pittsburgh pirate. Okay. One more,
A fifty nine year old Florida woman is facing charges
after allegedly pointing a gun at two boys who were
fishing in a pond near her backyard, forcing them to
the ground. According to an arrest AFFI David. Deputies responded
to a home on Royston Drive in Melbourne after Donna
Elkins called nine to one one to report two boys

(01:08:21):
allegedly fishing in her backyard. Elkins told the nine to
one one dispatcher that she had quote petrified them and
that she had quote stopped them and they were lying
on the ground, according to the report. According to the deputies,
the boys stated that they were fishing in a pond
behind Elkins's home when she pointed the weapon at him,
which was later identified as a long, black pellet gun.

(01:08:42):
She then ordered them to the ground and told them
they could not leave and threatened to blow their heads off.
According to investigators, the boys remained on the ground in
fear of their lives due to the presence of the
gun for about five minutes until Elkins's husband exited the
house and disarmed her. The two other children who witnessed
the incident provided deputies with similar accounts of what happened,
and the report also states Elkins did not physically harm

(01:09:04):
the boys during the encounter. Elkins was arrested and booked
into the Bereverd County Jail on two charges of aggravated
assault and two charges of false imprisonment. The woman's out
of her mind. I mean, she has real problems, you know.
I guess she just doesn't have to worry about fishing
poles anymore. In fact, in women's prison there aren't any poles.

(01:09:26):
Bill Sell, help spread the stupidity. Share the podcast with
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(01:10:07):
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I'm not lazy. I'm simply on energy saving mode. Call
Chalk call come good Chong call good call, calm.

Speaker 12 (01:10:51):
Ch Insane Eric Lane's Stupid World is produced with the
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