Healing Emotional Triggers with Maria Toso

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
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Speaker 2 (00:41):
Welcome to Inspired Conversations. I'm your host, Linda Joy, mindset
elevation coach, intentional living guide and publisher of the beloved
Aspire magazine. Since two thousand and six, Aspire has been inspiring, empowering,
and supporting women to live their best lives. You can

(01:02):
grab your free subscription and yes it's still free almost
twenty years later at subscribe to Aspire dot com. Today
we're going to be talking about how to heal emotional
triggers at the root where they live in the body,
and My beautiful friends, if you've ever lashed out numbed

(01:24):
with substances or shut down, haven't we all and maybe
even just completely gone cold and closed your heart? Then
you're in for an empowering conversation today because there is
a path to healing emotional triggers at the root and
unveil a path to freedom, vitality, and authentic connection with

(01:46):
me today is Maria Toso. Maria is a Danish born author,
yoga teacher, trainer, and somatic healing coach with more than
fifteen years of experience teaching therapeutic yoga and trauma informed practices.
She's the creator of the Heal What Hurts method and
is the process that unites the physical and spiritual dimensions

(02:09):
of healing to help people move beyond trauma and transform
emotional triggers into pathways of growth. I am so happy
that you're here, Maria.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
I'm happy to be here. Linda, thank you, You're welcome.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
You have a new book called Heal What Hurts? How
to Heal Emotional Triggers with my friends at Llewelynn and
I love to ask authors what led you to write
this book? Was it your own something in your personal
experience or witnessing transformation in your clients? What fueled the

(02:45):
passion for writing this.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Well Twofold really both of what you just mentioned there.
First of all, it's really the manual I wish I
had had like decades ago. There's nothing else out there
that I'm aware of, and I really have been searching
that with so the path I had to take where
I combined the somatic experience in the body, but also
with the ever present divine energy call it God angels

(03:12):
that are always there to help us when we contract
into our old pain. And that was really when I
started healing. And then about nine years ago, I started
teaching the yoga teacher training program here in Minnesota the
Minnesota State Colleges, and I got to be privy to
all my students' journals as they moved through that process,

(03:34):
and I guess that's when I really realized I am
not alone in not knowing how to approach my emotional triggers.
It's rampant, it's everywhere, and the hardest thing for my
students to do is to sit still in meditation. It's
a lot easier to do acrobatic yoga poses than it
is to sit still and be with what is in

(03:55):
the body. So it also kind of grew organically out
of how to guide both myself and my students into
a space where those contracted places inside that are activated
when we're triggered by something on the outside. How can
we be with that in an empathic, non dramatic, loving

(04:17):
way where they actually start to release from the inside,
Not because someone else does it differently, and not because
we have a cocktail, but because we bring our own
divine essence to those contracted, scared places, just like a
mother would pick a scared kid out of a crip.
That level of love and holding is what's necessary. And

(04:41):
as we move into loving ourselves that deeply, we become
capable of much greater, true, or more authentic love toward others.
And I would even assert that we become closer to
God because God is loving presence in my sort of
definition of God.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Hmm, you were speaking my language, my friend. I really
believe too, that we can turn our wounds in a
trauma into wisdom. Have you discovered that on your own journey?
I was just having a conversation with another guest and
we went deep in that, So I'd love to know
your experience with that, Like, is that a belief you
have that we can transmute those traumas.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
Absolutely, and I think it actually becomes the I think
there is this saying the light gets in where you're
cracked open, So those very places that we wish And
I did this for years. I would get on my
knees at church and beg, just take this anxiety away
from me, God, like why are you not taking this away?

(05:49):
And I didn't realize that the real path was go
in and hold it and be with it, and in
that moment I am with you and you become one
with God and that moment and so it's really even
beyond transmuting, like Okay, here's the way to get rid
of those things so that we can go and have
our real life. No, our real life is to consistently

(06:12):
continuously holding the scared places inside of ourselves. So we
transform every scared contracted place within as it shows up
in the body. Which is why we need to be
so present in the body, because that really is and
I write this in my book, that is the roadmap,

(06:34):
that is the sacred roadmap to where exactly our you
could say curriculum is where our greatest pain and contracted
places are, those places in us that don't yet know
God's love because it's been so contracted and tight. You
can think of a little kid that's so upset, it's
completely contracted, and then a loving mother's arms just like

(06:57):
I'm going to hold you even if you kick and scream.
I love you so much with this unconditional love, And
slowly that kid starts to relax and fall into the mom,
and the mom continues to love, and the kid opens
up and releases and falls asleep.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Maybe I couldn't just feel that visual. Yeah, it's like
God wrapping its arms around us exactly.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
That's exactly what it is. And I think we are,
in essence two fold beings. There is the part of
us that is the higher self, the part of us
that knows on some level that we are infinite, loving,
divine beings. And then there's the part of us that
is so identified with being a separate individual, scared will

(07:47):
I survive? Will I have enough love and safety and
sense of belonging in this world? It's not for sure
I might die, So we were bringing those together. So
in that sense, it's also part, probably from my Yogic background,
the bringing together of the divine with the mortal. So
the divine is healing the pain and the fear of

(08:09):
being mortal, and in that sense, you sort of spiritualize
our human individual experience breath by breath, moment by moment,
anytime we're willing to be present with the pain, which
is why. And thank you for mentioning what I call
the three outs in the book that you mentioned a
moment ago, our tendency to lash out at someone else

(08:34):
if I feel upset, it's someone's fault and they need
to do something different according to my manual, so that
I don't have to feel what I'm feeling. We just
missed an opportunity to go in and hold it because
we made it another being's responsibility, right, or numbing out,
and that's endless. I mean I would say when I
first started doing this work, I used to say, well,

(08:56):
it's alcohol, it's sugar, it's shopping, it's porn. Now I
think I would put on top of the is scrolling.
That's probably one of the top ways of numbing out.
That seems so innocent, right, I just got upset and
I'm going to go scroll on my phone. And then
the checking out that you also mentioned, where we become
very intellectual. You could say, we kind of go into

(09:19):
the intellect, the left brain, we're no longer connected to
the other in that sense of we're all one, we're
not connected to our own body, and that can seem
like I used to envy people who could do that
because I was such a lasher outer that I thought, well,
it'll be so cool just to be all rational and intellectual.
But I wonder if that might even be one of

(09:39):
the more painful states, because you're so caught off from
your own somatic experience in your body. And when we
can recognize that none of those outs will really heal
the contracted not inside the body, then we can start
doing the tender, tender work of coming in. And that's

(10:01):
what I think the path is for all of us,
no matter what the trigger is. The trigger could be
that something that shows up in relationships that's, you know,
kind of the number one place, But it could also
be that you want to take your career to the
next level. But somehow even thinking of that or imagining
that you get a knot in your stomach, that's also

(10:21):
a trigger. And if you don't know how to tend
to that, you will likely not level up to that
next sort of out of my comfort zone, place that
you could take yourself, so the method remains the same,
going in, holding the contracted place, putting your hand on
it was so much love. I like to tell my
clients and students, imagine a really scared child. Unless there's

(10:46):
you know, are very damaged human being, the chances are
that if you saw a very scared child, you would
instinctively wrap your empathic arms around that child and say,
I'm here, I've got you, I'm right here, not going anywhere.
You're safe. Now that we can learn to do that
with a fear inside of ourselves.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
Hmm. You just feel that experience that you just shared.
It's so true, and we have to remember that it's
available to us at all times with our source of love, God, Universe, divine.
Whatever I'm speaking to the woman in my audience, whatever
word speaks to you as your source of love, that's
what we're talking about today. So Maria, we're going to

(11:30):
take our first break, and my friends stay with us
because we're going to dive deeper into this conversation. You
can learn more about Maria at Mariatoso dot com and
of course grab her book Heal What Hurts, How To
Heal emotional triggers.

Speaker 4 (11:46):
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Speaker 2 (13:59):
Own FA Welcome back. You're listening to inspired Conversations with
me today is author, yoga teacher, trainer, somatic healing coach,
and the author of Heal What Hurts, How to Heal
Emotional Triggers. So you just talked about the three outs,
lashing out, numbing out, checking out. One of the things

(14:20):
you also mentioned in conversation is about energy, right, So
how do unhealed experiences become these energetic noughts that create
our negative patterns that you know we think of just
part of who we are. But they're I think it's
they're unconsciously running the show. Right.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
So, in my experience and working with you know, really
hundreds of clients and students and myself first and foremost,
when I am triggered, when I feel the contractions someone
in my body, my soul applexes, my heart, my throat,
and I go to that place and stay with that place,
and I and I try my best not to go

(15:02):
into the thought world where stories about what someone else
is doing wrong will kind of take over. When I
can keep releasing that and just being with the felt sensation,
the contracted energy and hold it, more often than not,
memories kind of waft or poof out of that place.

(15:22):
Because this sheer act of I'm here and I'm holding that,
it starts to release and relax a little bit. And
very often, and I will prompt my clients with questions
like what does this remind you of? When is the
first time you remember having this feeling? How old is this?
And it's always much older than the new boyfriend you
met three weeks ago. And when you start to feel

(15:46):
those memories there is ninety five percent of the time
I would say I hear memories from very early childhood
about something that mom or dad did or didn't do
at a very young age, and the feelings are so similar.
And it's almost that you've managed through that triggered energy

(16:08):
inside to call in a very similar dynamic constellation, even
though you're now an adult and this is, you know,
the new boyfriend you met three weeks ago. Somehow that's
a stand in person for something unresolved that happened to
you when you were really little. And just like any

(16:29):
sensitive being contracts in the face of something that makes
us feel like we're not loved, we're not safe, we
don't belong. If that contraction is not released, it sits there,
and it can sit there for a really long time.
I had a client in her eighties that had a
trigger come up on a Christmas Eve with a friend

(16:49):
and when she explored it, it was from when she
was five years old and her kid mom was yelling
her at her in the kitchen. So, if you have
a kid that is experiencing something traumatic, which for any
kid is traumatic, not to feel loved, safe, and like
you belong. It's really that simple. And if that kid

(17:10):
is not held and allowed and shown how to release it.
Then it sits there like a programming, like a pattern
that is bound to repeat itself time and again. And
that's I think why most of my clients are you know,
people that are you know, I'm ature, I would say,
because at some point it becomes evident that there is

(17:33):
a repeated experience, that this is not a one off
bad boyfriend or bad job setting. This is this same
feeling keeps arising, and at some point you have to
recognize there's something in me that calls in this experience. Now,
if that same little kid that experienced that an initial
traumatic experience had been tended to say, tell me about it,

(17:56):
you're scared, I'm right here, I'm going to hold you,
and had learned how to relax somatically deep inside, then
that kid would not have continued to pull that experience
in because the contracted energy would have softened and flowed through.
You can think of emotions as energy in motion, and

(18:16):
you can think of these contracted triggers as frozen emotion,
and then you can think of the love, the warmth,
the empathy of our presence as the sun that melts
the frozen energy. Now, if something has been frozen for decades.
It's not going to be enough to hold it for

(18:37):
five minutes. You're going to melt a layer off of it.
There might be some tears, and now there's going to
be a little bit less of a charge. Maybe the
out you have next time won't be a bottle of wine,
or be a glass of wine, or the text you
send that you shouldn't have will be shorter or a
little less dramatic, but it will probably take more, hold, more,

(19:00):
loving more. I'm here. But over time, guaranteed, I've seen
it so many times, that charge, that level of intense
contraction softens and releases like a little fist that slowly opens,
and then there is less calling in that bad experience,
and there's less out when it does happen. That's the

(19:23):
process I am witnessing.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Powerful Listen. I love as you said you have some
mature clients, because I think there's a mindset out there
that it's too late to change, it's too late to heal.
This is how I've been for fifty sixty seventy eighty years,
and so when you shared that, I was like, what
a sacred gift they'd given themselves to be willing to

(19:49):
look at the triggers the traumas. I think that's such
a powerful moment.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
And I would say in many cases, if you spend
your you know, your middle years raising kids and focusing on,
you know, bringing home the bacon, you don't even have
time to look up and realize what you're doing. The
outs may be so habitual, you could be and then
you know, a semi addictive pattern of something as benign

(20:18):
as you know, wine or something every night, so that
you don't even have time to recognize it. And then
when the kids leave and things slow down, then there's
suddenly room to look at this inner house, you could say,
this inner castle, and notice, wow, there's there's something here

(20:39):
for me to look at. So it's I think it's
there's like these distinct phases of life, and more often
than not, I see people be more ready to do
this inner work a little later in life.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
I that resonates something because a lot of my clients
are midlife women, and as you said, they're at that
new chapter where they're not outward focused on all their responsibilities.
They have a little more freedom in their consciousness and
their daily life. And most of them that are in
my circle anyway, I want to dive deeper into the

(21:15):
spiritual mindset tools. So you talk a lot about God
in your book. You talk about the Divine and the
importance of invoking the Divine when working with emotional pain.
So and you also touched a little bit about why
simply sitting with our pain is often too difficult. So
the question is, how does inviting divine loving presence actually

(21:38):
like shift the process?

Speaker 3 (21:41):
You know, I think that's where the magic comes in, Linda,
and I can only say that I've read, you know,
like Akatoley's book The Power of Now, which is genius
and it has inspired me a lot. But in my mind,
he makes it sound like you simply need to be present,
and I think that's true. You do. But for me,
the pain that I was meeting the level of contraction

(22:05):
was too awful and it was spontaneous. Now, I've always
had a relationship with God since I was a little kid,
so at some point meeting that I spontaneously started praying God,
I am so scared, this feels so awful. Please come
and be with me, help me hold it, help me

(22:26):
embrace this with your light, fill me with your peace,
Let the Holy Spirit envelop me and be with me, like,
even as I say that, just to kind of demonstrate
to you, my body softens. And I just started doing
that more and more. And when I was working with clients,
I had to be a little careful, you know, because
there's so many ways of addressing the divine or you know,

(22:47):
someone maybe a declared atheist. But you know what, then
I would say, let the power of love fill me. Now,
let the power of love envelop this pain inside. So
you know, we don't want to get stuck on the verbiage.
But I just know, like I know, and I can't
necessarily tell you the metaphysical reason why it works. But

(23:11):
I believe and have felt in myself and seen in
others that when you call upon whatever you call the divine,
something bigger than you on the personality level could ever achieve,
just happens. You open up to the greater loving presence
that I believe is always there for us. But when
we contract into pain, we just cannot see it and

(23:34):
feel it and know it. So it's also about I'm
running an online here what Hurts group, and we're at
the phase in that group right now where we sort
to promise ourselves to say these prayers even when we're
really upset and we don't believe it works. We absolutely
in that moment. We can be so contracted that we

(23:54):
don't believe anything but one of our outs will work.
That we give ourselves just minutes to sit and say, please,
divine Light fill me, hold these places inside of me
that hurt so much, and we can play with Okay,
I'll do that for one minute, and then I'll go
to my out. Okay, I'll do it for two minutes,
three minutes, and it just works. You know. This is

(24:17):
where and yoga we have a principal ishwarra ponidana, which
is surrender to God. It is that moment of surrender
to the divine to God, and that is the that's
the big shift, and then you start walking with God
because once you start to notice that that actually works
when you're super scared and anxious, then it's like, well,

(24:39):
why wouldn't I all the time ask the divine God
to hold me and be with me? Then? And like
why would I ever let that go? And as you
stay in that state more, you stay a little more expanded.
You're also less likely to become contracted then, so that

(25:00):
is where the real healing lies. But we have to
speak to our intellect to some degree because that's where
we so operate in our society.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
So true, yeah, so true, And I love that you
shared about it doesn't matter what. We all use different
words to divide for our source of love. So for
all our listeners, if God doesn't resonate, use divine. So
whatever it is for you, but I'd love that you
clarify that. I tell all my clients, whatever your source

(25:31):
of love is, that's who you call me, and that's
who you allow to love and support you. We're going
to take our final break and we come back. I
want to talk about how we can support one another's
healing by bringing attention to the body. So we'll be
back for our last segment, my friends, for our next segment,
and you are listening to inspired conversations, I invite you

(25:54):
to visit Maria at Mariatoso dot com grab a copy
of her book Heal What Hurts, How To Heal Emotional Triggers.
Will be back in a moment.

Speaker 4 (26:05):
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Speaker 2 (29:11):
Welcome back. You're listening to inspired conversations with me today.
Is Maria Toso, yoga teacher, trained, a somatic healing coach
and author of Heal What Hurts. So you know in
the book you talk about becoming a Heal what Hurts friend,
And when I saw that, I'm like, oh, I like that.
So how can we support one another's healing by bringing

(29:34):
attention to the body instead of feeding the story or
reinforcing the victim narrative?

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Yes, I love that so much. And what we do
the moment where in pain, we very quickly come up
with a story about what is happening, and it's usually
one when we're contracted, is one of being victimized in
some way, and then we call a friend. And the
typical way we do this, especially among women.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
I don't know if.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
Men do this as much as we do, but will
immediately jump in and protect the victim, our friend and
start taking aim at the villain who's making her feel
this way. Now, what I'm suggesting in the book and
what I am doing much much more as a friend
and certainly as a coach, is kind of ignore the story,

(30:26):
like the story is just the messenger. It's like the
symptom of a contracted place in the body. So gently,
gently ask the friend, I'm going to sit here with
you as you feel this. I can feel you're really upset.
I'm going to be right here with you and breathe

(30:47):
deeply with you, and maybe we can notice together where's
this showing up in your body. And when I do that,
both as a coach but also if I'm doing this
for it with a friend or a family member, I
tend to feel in my own body because I've done
so much work to feel everything in my body that
the moment I sit with someone who is in pain,

(31:10):
I'm so in resonance that we're actually both feeling that
pit in our stomach now. So I feel that, and
do you feel it in your stomach? Yeah? I feel
it here. Let's just both put a hand right there
and breathe into that place. And in my experience, the
anger and the urge to outlash out I'm out check

(31:34):
out becomes a sadness instead. There's sadness underneath all that outing, right,
and in that moment when we bring loving presence and
awareness to that inner place. Now our friend is crying
because the guy who didn't text back or did the
thing reminds her of the time her parents just weren't

(31:57):
there for her at a critical time when she was young.
And now we get to grieve that out and hold
that And then every time I've done this with both
friends and clients, at the end of that process, if
you ask, how bad is it now when you think
of that text that you got or didn't get, the thing,
the incident, the trigger, it's always much much, much much less.

(32:20):
I mean, I have multiple stories in the book, but
I have many, many more I could share, but they
all have the same in common that after sitting in
true empathy and loving presence with a friend or a coach,
at the end of that is like, yeah, it's a
bummer that he she did that, but it's not the
end of the world. I'm not threatened on my survival anymore,

(32:45):
and I don't need probably the out anymore. I don't
actually have to send that text. Yeah, I don't really
need to eat that kind of ice cream. That's what
tends to happen. So all those addictive patterns that are
so often part of you know, all of us when
we get emotionally upset. It's not that we shame ourselves

(33:08):
into not doing the addiction. I mean, there are times
when you have to address an addiction. Obviously it can
be life threatening, but just the little things we do
that we kind of know are compulsive because we're trying
not to feel. It's if we give what the body
really wants in that moment, which is loving presence. The

(33:28):
moment you get that loving presence, the pseudo loving presence,
the ice cream, the cocktail just holds us appeal. It's
not even that we're disciplining ourselves not to have it,
it's that we don't really want it because now we
have God's love inside instead powerful.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
I have a question, do you when you call that friend,
it sounds as if it's almost like a soul agreement
between you two. So it's like a previous conversation happens,
and what do you do? Do you say? Listen? I
would love for us to be a support person so
that they can hold space for you, like is it

(34:07):
a conversation? So listen when I call you when I'm hurting,
Here's how I'd like you to handle it. And not
feed my drama and story and trauma. How did you
create that in that friend that you call.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
Yes, it's absolutely a prior agreement and it requires someone
else that is also doing this work. So my vision
is that you know, partners, romantic good friends were together,
study the Heal It Hurts book or method and decide
I'm going to be that's how I'm going to be
there for you. And the gossiping and the more lashing

(34:45):
out and more numbing out. Let's go to the bar.
We're going to take a break from that, and we're
simply going to be there for each other in this way.
I'm here, I feel you what's really going on in
your body. And it's not easy because when you are
contract and upset, you can start lashing out at the
person who says, you know, why don't you feel your body?

(35:06):
So I think the prerequisite for entering into that kind
of an agreement with someone is it's two people who
do daily practices, and that's step one and step two,
and the Heel It Hurts a book is becoming more
aware of the breath, deeper breath, full of breath, and
more aware of what's going on in the body. Scanning

(35:28):
the body, noticing what's in the body, Because if you
don't have that as a i would say daily practice
to some degree, you're not going to have access to
that as your roadmap when you are triggered. It's you're
going to be so contracted the last place you want
to go is inside the body. But I believe that

(35:49):
this is something we can do more of. I do it.
I have two friends that I can do this with.
And there even times now, even though I wrote this book,
where I get into a little bit of lashing out
and my friend will mirror back. Sounds like you're lashing
out a little bit. So if you can start to
be good at recognizing the three outs and mirror back

(36:12):
to your your friend, your partner, you know, are we
moving a little bit into that? Are you willing to
go in instead? And that's the that's the practice. That
doesn't mean it's going to be easy, because this is
not what we learn as kids. As kids we often
learn if you're upset, Yes you can have a lollipop,
Yes you can sit in front of a video or something.

(36:37):
Kids don't have to get much beyond toddlerhood, and maybe
even sooner before we start really teaching them how to
out instead of how to come in and be held
and be able to hold yourself through prayer. That's also
something that's somewhat lost, right Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
I mean everything that you're sharing is really speaking to me.
And I love the idea of having that soul connection
with someone because I bet the moment they hold space
for you, it brings you right back into your truth
and out of that energy of the trigger. It's almost
like it's a mirror to remind you. And that's what

(37:19):
it felt like as you were sharing it. So that's
a powerful process. So you're teaching like you have a
somatic healing coach. So throughout the book, you're you're sharing
so much wisdom of practices that they can use. When
we come back from our final break, I would love

(37:39):
to dive into sharing some of those practices that listeners
can try right away when they feel triggered. So we're
going to take a last break and we'll be back
and dive in even deeper than everything Maria has been sharing.
You can learn more at Mariatosso dot com, grab a
copy of her book, Heal What Hurts, How To Heal

(37:59):
the Triggers.

Speaker 4 (38:01):
And we'll be right back the best of the holistic,
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Speaker 6 (40:16):
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Speaker 2 (41:21):
You're listening to inspired conversations. Thanks for circling up with
myself and my guest Maria Toso. So you shared so
much wisdom here, so many insights, so so many strategies
and of how we can rise above our triggers and
a traumas if someone's listening right now, and you know,

(41:43):
life is kind of triggering right now for so many people.
What is a simple practice from your book that they
could try right away?

Speaker 3 (41:51):
I love that, I would say. The first thing I
would ask you to do is close your eyes and
then become more aware of the breath and quiet the mind.
And simply by noticing the sensation of breath flowing in
through your nose, the sensation in the back of the

(42:14):
throat as you breathe, and the release and softening with
the exhale. Let the belly soften, let the chest soften,
and as you exhale a little longer, there's more room
for the next inhale breath as well. Now sometimes simply

(42:36):
focusing more on the breath, we'll give this urge to yawn,
and that's one of the almost shamanic ways that we
release tensions. So absolutely go with it. If you get
that urge to yawn or sigh. If you can even
hear your own breath, the subtle sound as breath enters,

(43:04):
and the sound when your breath leaves the body. And
even if you just have done this for minutes, your
mind has probably quieted down, your more presence inside your
own energy field, drawing your awareness more towards the center

(43:26):
of your inner being. And now notice your face, allow
the area around the forehead and eyes to soften the
whole of the scalp, cheeks, lips, all the way into
the throat, your neck, of the shoulders, softened feel and

(43:49):
sends the arms, upper arms, elbows, forearms, and hands. Notice
the energy in your hands, your fingertips, down through your chest,
the space of the heart, the stomach, softening, soul, aplexes,

(44:10):
lower abdomen, the backside of the body upper back, mid back,
lower back, and your buttocks and hips and thighs, the
lower legs, extending awareness all the way into the heels,
soles of the feet, tops of the feet, all ten toes,

(44:35):
all ten fingers, the whole energy, feel of the body
illuminated by your loving presence. And let that presence speak
to the body, especially the places that feel a little contracted. Still,
I love you, I am here, I am with you,

(45:02):
I am in you, I've got you. And now feel
any place in the body that is particularly contracted a
little not somewhere, scan down through the throat, the heart, stomach,
sola plexus, lower belly, and notice if there's a place

(45:28):
here that feels a little tight, and you might even
bring your hand to that place, Let the hand radiate
love straight into this area, and again say I love you,
I'm here, I notice this, I'm gonna be with you.

(45:53):
I'm gonna hold you. If there's anything you want to
share with me, show me what this is about. If
there's something that arises in pictures, images, words, I'm here
to hold that and be with that and witness that.

(46:14):
And if you simply need to be held and loved quietly, warmly, reassuringly,
I'm here for that too, And there is no endpoint
to that holding. I'm with you, I've got you. And

(46:37):
notice how the energy in the body responds to your words,
your energy, your presence, your willingness to be with something
uncomfortable inside. Notice if you feel like yawning or breathing deeply, ah,

(47:00):
and then say to this place inside. I'll be back
as often as you need. I'm going to hold you
through whatever is up. Notice this place, be with this place.

(47:21):
And now simply say, divine love, divine presence, God, find
your word, bring more love, more presence to this place.
Surrounded with light, penetrated with light. Feel every little molecule
of this area on the physical level filling with light,

(47:45):
radiating light into this place. Hold this place with me,
inform me, Dear God, dear Divine envelop it like a
balm of loving presence and lie that bomb in place
as love medicine right on the place that feels contracted

(48:07):
and scared. Feel the warmth permeating this area now and
now staying conscious of this area now being worked on
ever more deeply by this loving presence. Expand your awareness
back into the whole body, still feeling the arms and

(48:31):
the legs, the hands and the feet, the whole of
the torso, head, neck and shoulders, the whole energy, feel
of the body illuminated and bright and in conclusion. Four
now say I will be back. I am here with you.

(48:57):
I apologize for all the times I did come to
you when you needed me. That stops today. From now on,
I am with you. You can call upon me anytime.
Take a deep breath in, feel the whole of the body, ah,

(49:20):
releasing tension, open the eyes, and feel your body more
at ease, more at peace. I am here. So that's
a gentle, relatively fast little check in with the body.

(49:42):
And my message is to do that often. And there's
so many opportunities throughout the day to give yourself that
kind of loving presence. You can use my words from
the book I have prayers with every step that you
could simply use. You can record the and listen to
them or come up with your own. We all know

(50:04):
what words convey love and presence and unconditional I'm here
for you, and we can learn to speak those words.
Say them out loud, think them inside, write them in
a journal. So we become used to speaking to ourselves
that way, then any other way of speaking to ourselves

(50:28):
harshly trying to shame us, which is a big part
of being triggered that can offer be shame associated with it.
All of that is going to sound off like, no,
I'm not putting that vibration in my body. My body
is going to be bathed and unconditional love for as
many minutes as I can possibly muster every day for

(50:51):
the rest of my life. So there you go.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
I have to tell you I am like throw in
the zone right now. Well you it brings you right
into your heart. It's so grounding, such a beautiful gift
you just let us through. My friend, I just want
to take a moment to just come back in. What
a soulful gift for all of us. And I love

(51:19):
that it's something we can do no matter where we are.
Sitting in a car pulled over. Of course, we can
just connect with God anytime we want. It's beautiful, such
a beautiful gift. And we have about two minutes left,
so I want to ask you just share quickly a

(51:40):
couple of the practices that they'll find and heal what hurts.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
So we'll also learn in the book how to question
once we've gotten into the story, which for a while
will still drop into that story. And if we can
recognize that whatever story is is just that it's a story,
we can use that story to tease out the trigger.
So if we say they don't like me and they
never invite me, then we say that out loud, this

(52:08):
is my story. But rather than taking off and spiraling
with that story, we notice in the body when I
say the words they don't like me, they don't invite me.
Then where is it in the body? And then work
with what is going on in the body? Like there's
a whole chapter dedicated just to you could say, wrestle

(52:28):
the ego based story, so that as we loosen our
attachment to the victim story step by step by investigating
what the story is that we're telling ourselves, we can
instead of hating on the story or being attached to
the story. We can say the story simply points to

(52:48):
where the contracted energy is in the body, and that's
where the work lies, that's where the love has to
be applied. Then the story loses its power and we
don't have to keep re experiencing that same sad story
over and over again.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
Beautiful, my friend, Beautiful, And I want to invite everyone
please visit Maria at mariatoso dot com. Why do you
want to keep struggling when there's tools and practices that
can help bring you peace, chrimere anxiety and remind you
of the truth of who you are. So I invite
you to grab a copy of Heal What Hurts, How

(53:27):
to Heal Emotional Triggures published from my friends at llewell
and Worldwide, and it will show you how meeting emotional
pain with loving presence will gradually dissolve fear based contractions
and deepen your inherent connection to the divine, which, by
doing so, restores your vitality and helps you manifest as

(53:50):
more authentic relationships. Maria, I am so grateful for this conversation.
I am so like in my heart right now is
such a beautiful practice that you just walked us through.
So again, thank you for that gift, my friend.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
Thank you, Linda. Thank you for promoting all these beautiful
healers through your podcast. That is such a gift.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
You're welcome, my friend. Thank you for joining me. Thank you,
and until next time, my friends, choose love, Choose joy,
Choose happiness. Blessings everyone.

Speaker 1 (54:24):
Thanks for listening to Inspired Conversations with publisher Linda Joy.
Join our Sacred space every Tuesday at two pm Eastern
and meet leading female visionaries, empowering authors, heart centered female entrepreneurs, coaches,
and healers. Inspired Conversations with Linda Joy is a soulful

(54:45):
venue where guests share the obstacles they've overcome, along with
wisdom and lessons learned on their personal journey that led
them to the transformational work they do in the world.
Inspire Conversations to empower you on your path to pentic
and soulful living.

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