Autism and Abuse and an all important Child Protection meeting with iServalan™ #diaries

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Internet. So I've had a really autism intense weekend
because my gorgeous grandson went to his father's. That's a
new relationship. They have met before, but the mother had
sort of stopped the meetings, and you know, one of

(00:20):
these long stories that goes on for bloody years, just cruel,
actually cruel. So anyway, he was really excited to go
to his dad's and his dad has a room for
him and everything. So I cried a bit then because
I was so sad. And then he was supposed to
go to his mother's on the Sunday and she's been

(00:41):
high since Thursday, high as a kite, so she didn't
want to see him, and he was waiting desperate to
see her because I'd taken him back because he needed
to see her. He's lost without his mother. And it's
so sad, isn't it, Because even a drunk drug addict

(01:02):
mother who's actually quite cruel, is still your mother. And
you know, as a child, you just want to be
in the bosom of your mum, don't you really, the
bosom of your immediate family where you feel safe, And
that was denied. So I was crying about that, and

(01:23):
then late last night, he had a total meltdown and
apparently the neighbors came around. Now, it doesn't have meltdowns
with me because I don't stress him out. I make
sure this is a very quiet environment, but I do
let him do exactly what he wants, which is, you know,
almost as bad. Really, there should be a happy medium,

(01:43):
which is why I don't really want him here, because
he can't go to school here, he can't see his
mum while he's here. You know these things. It's fine
for a weekend of spoiling and going to McDonald's and
having a bit of fun, but you know that can't
go on for four weeks, which it had done because

(02:05):
his mother refused to have him back. It's just absolutely tragic.
My friend's tragic. So I had a big cry last night,
feeling for him, you know, trying to understand what gone on,
asking questions, trying to understand why it had happened. I
understand perfectly why it happened. It's a close family. They're

(02:25):
a close family with a little boy of one, little
boy of three. That for a start is trouble. Because
he'd had a bit of a freak out because they'd
wet his new shoes and then wet something else, you know,
the charger, And this is this is what being an
autistic person is like. These things matter so much, and

(02:48):
of course when he's here, I just I'm very aware
of all that. But a one year odd and a
three year OD isn't aware of all that. So there's
you know, there's other problems because the mother's supposed to
have him half the time and his father the other.
And now she's sobered up this morning and she's going
to have him at midday, but we don't know how

(03:11):
long that will last. It could be a couple of
days and then you know, Thursday he would go around again.
So I just I've got this meeting today with the
child protection people, and you know they're at their wits
end as well, because the mother has rights, the child

(03:37):
also has rights, and they involved keeping them together through
thick and thin, and it has to get so bad
before it gets better, and you just think, well, where
is this going to end up in a year? You
know in a year that he'll be even bigger. He's
a very tall boy, he's eleven stone. He'll be even

(03:59):
bigger in width and height, and you know, at that
point the meltdowns are going because the meltdowns in the
house are very bad, really bad, and the meltdowns at school,
so you know nothing, it just doesn't both bode well really,
So I'm not going to talk too much. I'm going
to talk about what happens after the meeting. And this

(04:20):
is an emergency meeting. He was taken into under child
protection ten days ago, so this is the first meeting
to see what's you know, what's been done. If the
mother has basically signed him over to somebody else and
she's refusing to do that because she doesn't put him first,

(04:42):
that's the problem. And she you know, she wants to
get high with the money. It benefit money. It's just awful, guys,
it's really really shocking. I don't know what the authorities
can do, but I'll find out today. I'll find out
today if because at the moment, I'm just thinking, well,
the probably the best thing for an autistic child like

(05:06):
my grandson with terrible home conditions, the best thing is
probably to be in care, in under local authority care
with somebody who is trained and experienced with managing an
autistic child. And if that occurred, we could all get

(05:31):
our acts together to provide the best you know, visits
weekends or you know, so to stay very very much involved,
but have him not under the roof where terrible things
are going on. Terrible, terrible things are happening. So yeah,

(05:53):
I'm going to moot that today. And it's quite a
shocking decision for me to come to because all this time,
while he's been here and I've been picking up the pieces,
week in, week out, I'm called the police, call me,
the social workers, call me, she's intoxicated, that she's not fit.
Could you have him? You know, I'm doing all that

(06:14):
because I don't want him in care, but however, it's
unsustainable and what I really think he will benefit from
is some consistency, and that's what I'm going to suggest
today at the meeting. So yeah, I'll let you know, guys,
very difficult, isn't it. It's very difficult being autistic, and
it's very difficult managing an autistic, beautiful child who's being abused.