Autism traits and tests and the question of an Autistic or neurodiverse AI chat bot iServalan™

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Internet, and welcome to I don't say the four
poster bed anymore because my four poster bed has been
common did by an artistic ten year old, and almost
the room has as well. I mean he started not
to like it. When I go in my own room,
I have to go and get my clothes, and he's like,
please go away. Oh okay, I'm playing my game. You're

(00:22):
disturbing me, etc. Etc. So anyway, I'm on this swivel chair.
It's like a swivel sofa. Actually it's pretty big, and
I've sort of fallen in love with it. I was
going to get rid of it, but what I'm going
to do now is I'm going to because I painted
it white and then I painted it yellow and it's

(00:43):
this sort of faux leather stuff and the yellow paint's
just falling off, you know, in like this powder. Obviously
it's to bendy. I needed a bendy paint, I guess.
But it never looks great, does it if you paint
a couch. I mean, it looked great in a photograph
first I did it, but never since and I've got
to show as long as well. And I did the

(01:04):
same there and similarly didn't work. So I've sort of
got this two pieces of furniture which I've completely and
utterly ballsed up with fluorescent yellow paint. The idea was there,
but the way of doing it was completely and utterly reckless.
So anyway, I'm going. I've got all this material from
the book that I published Elderescence, the sewing one, not

(01:29):
the one, because I've done a couple. Do you know what,
as time marched on, I forget the books that I've written.
That's a good sign, I think, as soon I will
be saying I can't remember they're talking of writing. Actually,
well no, let me get the closed thing out the way.
I've got all this recyclable fabrics, loads of denim genes,
loads of army surplus, and I'm going to make I'm

(01:52):
going to use those to make a patchwork cover for
the that I can take off from wash over the
years for this rather funantastic swivel. So further that I've
got and which i've sort of me and the cat
luxuriate on it. It's quite nice, slowly slowly my age. Anyway,
what else the books? So I'm really getting to grips

(02:13):
with this book of Immersion now, I finally, after all
these years, it's sort of falling into place, and I've
completely nastly gone back to the initial idea of this
sort of multi, multi sensory experience. But what's happened, I
guess after five years of experimentation is I've realized that
what I have to do is I need one platform,

(02:35):
and the streaming of all the different parts of it
happen in other platforms, so you know, it's YouTube and
podcast and the visuals and the artwork. It all has
to come together on the page. So the page is key.
I will do the interactive book, but I'm not expecting
them to sell. I just don't. I just don't think

(02:57):
people will pay for an interact book. I think they
will if it's a course how to play an instrument
or something. You can buy it and go through it.
I think that's a really good idea, but I don't
think for entertainment it's a viable proposition for me. So
really getting into it because I'm thoroughly going through everything

(03:18):
so with a fine toothcomb, the spellings, the putting them
up on Kindle again, so you know, uploading the newer
versions because they've evolved a bit I guess the artwork
is one of the parts of it that's been the
most disappointing. And I think the reason for it being

(03:39):
disappointing is because AI has taken over you know, productive
commercial art, so illustrative art, which is what I do
for the episodes. And when I say it's taken it over,
I think it has upped the expected standard. So where

(04:02):
you know, you could have done a little sketch and
a bit of collage and sort of photo montage five
years ago, now it just doesn't wash people. That's okay
if you're selling an original, but people on the Internet
they want to see a high contrast, brightly colored, photorealistic image.
I think I believe that's that's what my my gut

(04:27):
is telling me. At least you know, that's if you
look around at what's being reproduced and put out, that's
the artwork that gets the most attention. So you've got
to give the people what they want. When you're a writer.
This is this is the issue. I've been thinking about
this today and I think I did this test right

(04:48):
this as it's called the Aspy test. It's one hundred
and forty questions. Bloody nightmare going down it, and I'm
ninety nine percent probably autistic. And I was thinking about this.
I'm still waiting for my psychiatric reports and everything, which
I'm going to have to wait a few months for,

(05:09):
but I'm not in a rush per se. But I
was thinking about how they're trying to get AI to
be as human as possible, but will they make use
of the autistic mind? And I really believe now that
I'm probably autistic obviously, but also because I have so
many autistic family members, and I'm thinking, well, actually, you know,

(05:34):
autistic people are better than anyone else. And the way
they're better is they have this unique view of the world,
this totally and utterly unique perception that isn't really matched
by others. They're a rare breed, although the umbrella term
covers lots of different people. Sorry, someone's screaming outside, somebody's

(05:59):
being noisy on my life, I might shut the door,
hang on, oh yeah, back on the cuddle sofa. Because
they're not because they're neurodiverse, and they haven't towed the line,
as it were, because mostly they can't toe the line.

(06:19):
They do have these really unusual and rare perspectives and
they're quite exciting, and I was thinking, actually, while I
was researching, I was thinking about this language thing and
how a lot of a lot of them have they
sort of make up words and have their own language.
And I was thinking, God, I've been doing that in
my books. I've been normalizing it, saying it's the same

(06:43):
with the poetry, you know. I do this sort of
in character poetry for the sixteenth century poet, sorry, seventeenth
century the Martianess of Dorchester, and I make up all
these words and I love it. I absolutely love it.
And somebody did once say to me, how how do
you where did you learn to speak in you know,

(07:04):
seventeenth century language? Such? I didn't just make it up,
And I think that's really interesting. If I was a
neuro typical person, I probably wouldn't be doing that. I'd
have probably thought it was ridiculous to start with, how silly,

(07:24):
you know, And I probably wouldn't have the sort of
freedom of creativity that I think. You know, manifests in
people who are nonconformists. Do you see so? Yeah? I mean,
will they bring out an AI who's autistic? Probably they'll

(07:45):
probably market one, won't they bound to? Eventually? You know,
when they realized, but they wouldn't use that. You wouldn't
you know, business people wouldn't want an autistic AI, you know,
of chat DPT turned out to be autistic. I think
they'd be quite upset about that, because the idea of
the successful AI is that it is best for as

(08:08):
many people on the planet as possible, so they can
make the most runny. So the idea of being best
doesn't qualify as you know, a neuro divergent individual or
somebody with you know, radical ideas, or someone who's you know, barking,

(08:30):
barking bonkers, do you know what I mean? So, so yeah,
think about all that anyway, getting getting sort of in
tune really with with these ideas as. It's funny having
the prospect of a diagnosis looming, how I sort of think.
Now I'm doing things in the during the day and

(08:52):
all of this started to remember when I stopped drinking.
It's quite a long time ago actually, and I realized
I was not normal. When it's amazing that when you're
a piss head, you just feel so normal. A lot
of people are piss heads, so you've got a whole
team around you of other piss heads. You know, it's
pretty fantastic. Actually, You've got the ability to create very

(09:18):
close friendship groups in minutes when you're drunk. It's such fun.
But of course, as soon as I stopped drinking, I
didn't want to talk to anyone, and I became completely
introverted and just wanted to be in my home, you know,
or with my family, I should say, because I love
being with them. But I trust them. You see, They're

(09:40):
not going to judge me on the way I look
or the way I present myself, and I'm not going
to make any constant bloody phaux pas. I make so
many paux pas. I was thinking as well about you
know this idea, I thought, well, no, I recognize people
and I don't. And for years I thought it was
because I was just drunk all the time. But you know,
I had trouble if I was snogging a bloke. I

(10:02):
wouldn't know if i'd snogged him before. You know, It's
this facial recognition thing, completely and utterly over my head.
So I'm spotting all these things now, and I'm thinking, oh, really,
and what's so great about getting to sixty two and
realizing that you're a completely different person to the one
that you thought you were the one you hated. Actually,

(10:24):
the one you hated, the one that was depressed all
the time, the one that was you know, high octane living,
completely and utterly disruptive, completely and utterly careless about myself,
you know, the person, the body, the physicalness, the emotions,
everything else. Didn't care, you know, almost sort of Kamakazi life.

(10:47):
You know, I've forgotten where I was going to go
with that. I had a visual there. I had a
visual about the Chemakazi life and what I could do
that picture. It's quite good. Haven't made any art for
a while because there's no chance that ever going to
make me any money. Guys, you know, you can sell

(11:09):
a bit now and then, but actually, you know, to
make a fortune in the art world. Oh, let me
get comfortable, to make a fortune in the art. Oh dear,
I'm wrecking the place. Okay, retrieved everything? No, I remember
where I was going. Oh, look who's come to join us? Yes?
You know. The great thing about being sixty two and

(11:30):
discovering that you're a completely different person to the one
that you were that you didn't like very much, is
that it's irrelevant what you were. So you know this
Reburth this reincarnation, which I thought I did when I
was about forty, but I didn't. I try, and I basically,
and I think a lot of women do this. They
have their kids, then their kids start to hate them,
and their husband leaves or whatever whichever order it happened in,

(11:54):
and suddenly they you know, especially if you've been a
full time mum, you have to sort of reevaluate who
you are because being a mum suddenly becomes the least
satisfying thing in the world that you've ever done. At
least for me, it was very difficult when you know
your children leave, even if they do like you, it's

(12:16):
very difficult. I mean, I've got a couple that like me,
but you know, there is still much less value, I think,
personal value when everybody's gone. And you know, they talk
about empty nest as a given, and I don't think
it is necessarily for most for lots of people. I
wouldn't dream to suggest that, but I did have that.

(12:39):
I had that, and it's what's been so nice actually
here having my beautiful grandson here for so long, Will
you know, they sort out where he's going to go
and what's going to happen to him bless him. I'd
be quite happy for him to stay here and we'd
adjust accordingly. So it's just it just depends what the
courts say. So Mum is not engaging at all, and

(13:05):
I'm not sure what happens when that happens. So it's difficult,
isn't it really difficult? But I do, really, I am
really enjoying this, you know, giving love and taking care.
And it's funny because it's not really reciprocated because his
autism is such that he doesn't express things like that

(13:28):
at all, but just the act of sort of cooking
and you know, showering love, but almost at a distance,
because you know he won't cope with anything more. It's
enough for me, actually, it's very much enough. So I

(13:49):
think that's quite interesting. I don't know if that's because
I've become more autonomous myself and less needy. I'm not
a needy person anymore at all. I don't need anything
actually except music. I've completely naturally turned a corner on that.
Although I may have always been like that, I don't know.
I don't know. My boyfriend successfully successively told me I

(14:12):
was cold, a cold and heartless bitch, So maybe no
I've run out of time and I so wanted to
talk about the book, so I'll do it in the
next broadcast. But yeah, the Book of Immersion is going
to be a massive project. I'm doing a piece of
music for it every day. I've done my first two
really good, and also the music therapy recordings, which I've

(14:36):
divided up into water Rhythm, spoken Word, and CDM, which
is cerebral dance music. There we go. I got it in,
I got it all in. Guys,