Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, guys, it's been a bit of a hectic week.
So I got a call the other day from Social
Services and my grandson had been taken away from his
home and put in foster care for a night after
the police were called over an incident, violent incident. So
(00:21):
I've got my grandson here and I'm just trying to
sort out now, you know, the legalities where if grandma
has any saying, what goes on next, and you know,
all of these things. It's really really complicated, and it's
not the first time it's happened. So I can never
(00:41):
really plan anything with my grandson because he tends to
just be deposited at times of great family trauma, which
is really really bad for everybody actually, So it's not
just it's not just difficult for me. I mean, I'm
the last person on the list to be prioritized.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Of course I am.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I know that, but it is really difficult, especially when
you're working and you've you know, basically you have to
stop work, you have to stop work, and you have
to devote, you know, every inch of yourself to this
beautiful child who now needs looking after and supporting, etc.
And we went out and bought a PlayStation. That was
(01:25):
the first thing I had to do.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I didn't have to.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I didn't have to, but I think when a child's
in a violent household, where you know, there are drugs
and alcohol and violence almost daily, the all of that
becomes really normalized, and something like a PlayStation, you know
he has access to one at home, Something like a
(01:50):
PlayStation is a constant and a way of escaping what's
going on downstairs in the other room, or do you
see what I mean. So I felt it was really
really important, and also for autistic children, it can be
their only source of deep concentration and engagement and that
(02:12):
I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but certainly
I wanted a smooth enough transition, so because the last
time I had him it was really difficult because there
was no PlayStation and he really pined for it, and
I didn't want to repeat of that. I wanted him
to be happy, and I wanted him to feel calm
(02:32):
and to feel loved, and to feel safe above all,
to feel safe. So I went out and bought a PlayStation.
It was actually wonderful because we went into CeX, which
is they sell secondhand ones. I didn't get a new one.
I mean, well, I don't know if they're real bargains.
It was three hundred and fifty five pounds. I don't
know if that was a bargain or not. But because
(02:56):
it had some cosmetic wear on the console, very tiny,
very minor, it was the cheapest one.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
The others went up.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
To about three eighty five. So we got that one
and absolutely wonderful, absolutely loves it. And yesterday we went
to the Isle of Wight and we're doing lots of
exciting things. There are lots of sweets, lots of McDonald's,
lots of bribery, and it's a real it's a bit.
It's a sort of issue because there's you know, you
(03:26):
don't want to give a child a weight issue. I
mean there's already a weight issue, but you don't want to,
you know, perpetuate it as it were. But then you
have to balance that with some a child who's been
taken away by the police and then put in a
house that where he doesn't know anybody and told that
(03:49):
they have rules. I think that you know, that really
stuck with him. You know, to have different food. He
said it was all right, He said it was okay,
but he wasn't allowed to do the things that he's
normally allowed to do at home. So can you imagine
for an autistic child, a ten year old, what that
does you know to them? How that would make them feel?
(04:11):
I mean, it must just be petrifying. And yet he
doesn't reveal any emotional distress. He seems to take it
all in his stride. Of course, we know that autistic
people don't show, you know, their feelings in the same
way perhaps that other children do or adults. So, you know,
(04:35):
working really just working out the last few days, had
to hold off on work for a bit. I do
get my practices in still, but you know, like in
the evenings when he's on his PlayStation, but then he'll
say to me, it's really sweet. He'll say, can you
come in and watch me game? So I just go
and I just sit next to him for half an
(04:56):
hour and sort of do nothing and get a bit
and then he says, okay, you can go now. It's
really sweet. It's really sweet that he wants to have that,
you know, touching base with his grandma and to feel
safe and loved and secure and all of those things.
(05:17):
So it's been a really interesting few days and I've
you know, because this is sort of an ongoing situation
and there may be a future custody issue. I'm kind
of trying to streamline things and take on my business
obligations in a more how kind of not professional, it's
(05:43):
not what I mean, but in a way that is
much more timetabled, much more streamlined, much more effective. I
would say quicker, but I don't think I really mean quicker.
I mean more productive per minute of labor. Definitely, absolutely,
that's crucial.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
So, you know, how can I get my.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Income up now quicker so that I can look after somebody?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Do you see what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
And it's a really good way actually, because I've had
lots of time to look at my navel and twiddle
my thumbs by myself over the last sort of eight
or nine years. You know, I've sporadically had my grandchild,
of course, but not you know, not anywhere near full
time or anything like that. Nowhere near that. It's been
(06:35):
very very sporadic through the year, the odd week, the
odd fortnight, and very unpredictable, et cetera, et cetera. So
I haven't really had to think about that. But it's
actually a really good way if you're a musician especially,
it's a bit like you know, when you decide that
you know, You'll say when I was working for orchestra
a couple of weeks ago, and I had to practice
(06:56):
to get because I couldn't play the instrument. That had
to learn to play this instrument in a matter of weeks,
and I had to streamline my practices so that I
was practicing in the most effective way in the least
amount of time. I learned a lot, and it wasn't
particularly successful because you can't learn an instruments in six weeks.
You absolutely cannot. And that I realized, even with transferable
(07:18):
string instruments skills, it wasn't going to wash completely different
physicality that the double bass has. And I should have
done my scales, guys, I really should have done my scales,
which I didn't do. All I'm working on now is
as scales, scales and Suzuki and really simple short exercise
is really really important to get you to know your instrument. Anyway,
(07:41):
it's a bit like that streamlining. Now I now have
to streamline everything that I produce, everything, all my output.
I can no longer twiddle thumbs and think, oh could
I try a bit of that, or you know, I've
got to get rid of stuff that doesn't cost effective.
And that's actually been quite an eye opener, I guess,
(08:01):
because now you're thinking about somebody else. You're not just
thinking about yourself. You're thinking, right, I need money for
a start, I need increased income coming in so that
I can focus financial help on the situation, which you
know is really really important because if you don't have
money and you have an autistic child, their needs are
(08:25):
it's going to be very difficult to meet them. And
we know about you know, poverty in this country and
especially with disabilities, it's not a you know, it's pretty
bleak actually, so you've got to think about that. But
you've also got to think about the other things, you know,
how do how do I manage the day so that
(08:45):
there are two hours in the day when I can
compose a piece of music. For example, now it takes
me two days to do a piece of music. So
the hardest bit is faffing about on the piano for
hours on end. So I'm going to kind of stop
with that. And I think I was kind of got
the go to riff.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
So once a play.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
A scale on the piano, and or maybe I'll play
a jazz scale, for example, or maybe i'll play something else.
I don't know, but I'll play around and I get
my fingers kind of working, and then I'll come upon
a little riff and I think I quite like that.
I won't necessarily use it in the final piece, because
I could change it in the edit. I could, you know,
(09:28):
raise it a fifth down at a third, I could
do all sorts of things with it. But if I
essentially quite like what's happening under the fingertips, then I,
you know, record it. But I need I do need
to be a bit less experimental, I think, And that's
a bit of a shame because I was listening to
my early music yesterday and I really like the experimental stuff.
(09:50):
When I didn't really know anything about composing, I didn't
really understand the rules of harmonies and you know, the
rules of Kate well. I didn't know the cadence. But
you know, there were other things I wasn't particularly ofa with.
I certainly didn't know how to write a pop song.
But all these things I've sort of developed now, and
they are quick solutions. If you have a formula. A
formula is the quickest solution to creating something. Is it
(10:15):
the best? I don't know if it is the best.
So I've got no idea what this next month. I'm
not sure how long I've I have care of my
wonderful boy, but it'd be interesting to see what sort
of music I've produced. And I kind of like the
idea that maybe I could use him as a bit.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Of a muse.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
You know, the wonderful aspect of a grandparent and a
grandchild and that relationship when it's successful and why it's successful,
and the love you know, and then you know, the
autistic kind of mentality. So it's quite an inspiration because
(10:57):
it's it gives me something to explore that I haven't
explored before, and I think that's really important as well. So,
you know, a lot of the music I've done for
the musical immersion, and the one I released the other
day was actually for immersion as well, but a bit less,
a bit wider, so it's just a classical orchestral piece.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
But after a bit you kind of think, well, what
do I do now?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I think we all need a bit of a muse,
a bit of a reason, even if it's just to
write something and dedicate it to somebody else. I think
it's a really good starting point if you're you know,
a bit lost, or you know, it feels like sometimes
I've done everything. I've composed for every situation. Because the
chapters of the book are all very different, I've sort
(11:45):
of composed for each chapter, and you do get to
a point where you think I've sort of run out
of ideas. But finding a muse is the solution to that,
I think, And it doesn't have to be you know,
the idea of a muse pose generally would be a lover,
especially from you know, men throughout creative history of talked
(12:09):
of muses as there. I mean, probably just an excuse
to perv over them. Really, the cynic in me also death,
you know, elegies and.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Things like that.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
You you know, you the great composers produce beautiful energies
and they were asked to do those so that those
things are It's a muse as well, isn't it. It's
the idea of creating something for a human being and
being inspired by that human being to create it. So yeah,
(12:42):
that's my thought of the day. And I am also
this other idea of being quick on my.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
YouTube and have to grow my YouTube. Now.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
I really want to grow my YouTube. It's a couple
of reasons. First of all, my grandson said, you haven't
got enough followers. You never make money on there, and
I thought, oh my god, that's such a challenge. You know,
I want to impress him God. So I've looked at
my YouTube as well, and I think the way come,
absolutely the way forward is to do these play along shorts.
So all day, well, in between creating bowls of porridge
(13:16):
for my lovely grandson and you know, taking him swimming
and all of that, I'm going to be doing these
fantastic shorts. And I'm not going to stick to just
double bass. I'm going to do cello. I'm going to
do all the strings. Piano, I can do, guitar, tab
I can, there's absolutely anything. So that's what I'm going
to do. And I'll have playlists on my YouTube for
different instruments, okay, and you can play along to them
(13:40):
on your phone. Such a good way of learning. So
they're quick for me to do, guys, They're very quick
for me to do. You know, I have all the software.
I understand music. I know what's important what's not. I
know what's useful and what's not. Everything that I put
up will be really interesting or useful. One or the
(14:02):
other scales aren't particularly interesting, but my word, they're useful.
So you know there will be scales in our pitios,
et cetera. So yeah, that's that's the update for Icevelant,
the sort of next wave really this month. All good
plans can be put on a shelf for later, And
that's where my live broadcasting jamming sessions are at the moment,
(14:25):
on a shelf for later on when I'm alone.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
So speak later, guys,
Well, guys, it's been a bit of a hectic week.
So I got a call the other day from Social
Services and my grandson had been taken away from his
home and put in foster care for a night after
the police were called over an incident, violent incident. So
(00:21):
I've got my grandson here and I'm just trying to
sort out now, you know, the legalities where if grandma
has any saying, what goes on next, and you know,
all of these things. It's really really complicated, and it's
not the first time it's happened. So I can never
(00:41):
really plan anything with my grandson because he tends to
just be deposited at times of great family trauma, which
is really really bad for everybody actually, So it's not
just it's not just difficult for me. I mean, I'm
the last person on the list to be prioritized.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Of course I am.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I know that, but it is really difficult, especially when
you're working and you've you know, basically you have to
stop work, you have to stop work, and you have
to devote, you know, every inch of yourself to this
beautiful child who now needs looking after and supporting, etc.
And we went out and bought a PlayStation. That was
(01:25):
the first thing I had to do.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I didn't have to.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I didn't have to, but I think when a child's
in a violent household, where you know, there are drugs
and alcohol and violence almost daily, the all of that
becomes really normalized, and something like a PlayStation, you know
he has access to one at home, Something like a
(01:50):
PlayStation is a constant and a way of escaping what's
going on downstairs in the other room, or do you
see what I mean. So I felt it was really
really important, and also for autistic children, it can be
their only source of deep concentration and engagement and that
(02:12):
I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but certainly
I wanted a smooth enough transition, so because the last
time I had him it was really difficult because there
was no PlayStation and he really pined for it, and
I didn't want to repeat of that. I wanted him
to be happy, and I wanted him to feel calm
(02:32):
and to feel loved, and to feel safe above all,
to feel safe. So I went out and bought a PlayStation.
It was actually wonderful because we went into CeX, which
is they sell secondhand ones. I didn't get a new one.
I mean, well, I don't know if they're real bargains.
It was three hundred and fifty five pounds. I don't
know if that was a bargain or not. But because
(02:56):
it had some cosmetic wear on the console, very tiny,
very minor, it was the cheapest one.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
The others went up.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
To about three eighty five. So we got that one
and absolutely wonderful, absolutely loves it. And yesterday we went
to the Isle of Wight and we're doing lots of
exciting things. There are lots of sweets, lots of McDonald's,
lots of bribery, and it's a real it's a bit.
It's a sort of issue because there's you know, you
(03:26):
don't want to give a child a weight issue. I
mean there's already a weight issue, but you don't want to,
you know, perpetuate it as it were. But then you
have to balance that with some a child who's been
taken away by the police and then put in a
house that where he doesn't know anybody and told that
(03:49):
they have rules. I think that you know, that really
stuck with him. You know, to have different food. He
said it was all right, He said it was okay,
but he wasn't allowed to do the things that he's
normally allowed to do at home. So can you imagine
for an autistic child, a ten year old, what that
does you know to them? How that would make them feel?
(04:11):
I mean, it must just be petrifying. And yet he
doesn't reveal any emotional distress. He seems to take it
all in his stride. Of course, we know that autistic
people don't show, you know, their feelings in the same
way perhaps that other children do or adults. So, you know,
(04:35):
working really just working out the last few days, had
to hold off on work for a bit. I do
get my practices in still, but you know, like in
the evenings when he's on his PlayStation, but then he'll
say to me, it's really sweet. He'll say, can you
come in and watch me game? So I just go
and I just sit next to him for half an
(04:56):
hour and sort of do nothing and get a bit
and then he says, okay, you can go now. It's
really sweet. It's really sweet that he wants to have that,
you know, touching base with his grandma and to feel
safe and loved and secure and all of those things.
(05:17):
So it's been a really interesting few days and I've
you know, because this is sort of an ongoing situation
and there may be a future custody issue. I'm kind
of trying to streamline things and take on my business
obligations in a more how kind of not professional, it's
(05:43):
not what I mean, but in a way that is
much more timetabled, much more streamlined, much more effective. I
would say quicker, but I don't think I really mean quicker.
I mean more productive per minute of labor. Definitely, absolutely,
that's crucial.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
So, you know, how can I get my.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Income up now quicker so that I can look after somebody?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Do you see what I mean?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
And it's a really good way actually, because I've had
lots of time to look at my navel and twiddle
my thumbs by myself over the last sort of eight
or nine years. You know, I've sporadically had my grandchild,
of course, but not you know, not anywhere near full
time or anything like that. Nowhere near that. It's been
(06:35):
very very sporadic through the year, the odd week, the
odd fortnight, and very unpredictable, et cetera, et cetera. So
I haven't really had to think about that. But it's
actually a really good way if you're a musician especially,
it's a bit like you know, when you decide that
you know, You'll say when I was working for orchestra
a couple of weeks ago, and I had to practice
(06:56):
to get because I couldn't play the instrument. That had
to learn to play this instrument in a matter of weeks,
and I had to streamline my practices so that I
was practicing in the most effective way in the least
amount of time. I learned a lot, and it wasn't
particularly successful because you can't learn an instruments in six weeks.
You absolutely cannot. And that I realized, even with transferable
(07:18):
string instruments skills, it wasn't going to wash completely different
physicality that the double bass has. And I should have
done my scales, guys, I really should have done my scales,
which I didn't do. All I'm working on now is
as scales, scales and Suzuki and really simple short exercise
is really really important to get you to know your instrument. Anyway,
(07:41):
it's a bit like that streamlining. Now I now have
to streamline everything that I produce, everything, all my output.
I can no longer twiddle thumbs and think, oh could
I try a bit of that, or you know, I've
got to get rid of stuff that doesn't cost effective.
And that's actually been quite an eye opener, I guess,
(08:01):
because now you're thinking about somebody else. You're not just
thinking about yourself. You're thinking, right, I need money for
a start, I need increased income coming in so that
I can focus financial help on the situation, which you
know is really really important because if you don't have
money and you have an autistic child, their needs are
(08:25):
it's going to be very difficult to meet them. And
we know about you know, poverty in this country and
especially with disabilities, it's not a you know, it's pretty
bleak actually, so you've got to think about that. But
you've also got to think about the other things, you know,
how do how do I manage the day so that
(08:45):
there are two hours in the day when I can
compose a piece of music. For example, now it takes
me two days to do a piece of music. So
the hardest bit is faffing about on the piano for
hours on end. So I'm going to kind of stop
with that. And I think I was kind of got
the go to riff.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
So once a play.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
A scale on the piano, and or maybe I'll play
a jazz scale, for example, or maybe i'll play something else.
I don't know, but I'll play around and I get
my fingers kind of working, and then I'll come upon
a little riff and I think I quite like that.
I won't necessarily use it in the final piece, because
I could change it in the edit. I could, you know,
(09:28):
raise it a fifth down at a third, I could
do all sorts of things with it. But if I
essentially quite like what's happening under the fingertips, then I,
you know, record it. But I need I do need
to be a bit less experimental, I think, And that's
a bit of a shame because I was listening to
my early music yesterday and I really like the experimental stuff.
(09:50):
When I didn't really know anything about composing, I didn't
really understand the rules of harmonies and you know, the
rules of Kate well. I didn't know the cadence. But
you know, there were other things I wasn't particularly ofa with.
I certainly didn't know how to write a pop song.
But all these things I've sort of developed now, and
they are quick solutions. If you have a formula. A
formula is the quickest solution to creating something. Is it
(10:15):
the best? I don't know if it is the best.
So I've got no idea what this next month. I'm
not sure how long I've I have care of my
wonderful boy, but it'd be interesting to see what sort
of music I've produced. And I kind of like the
idea that maybe I could use him as a bit.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Of a muse.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
You know, the wonderful aspect of a grandparent and a
grandchild and that relationship when it's successful and why it's successful,
and the love you know, and then you know, the
autistic kind of mentality. So it's quite an inspiration because
(10:57):
it's it gives me something to explore that I haven't
explored before, and I think that's really important as well. So,
you know, a lot of the music I've done for
the musical immersion, and the one I released the other
day was actually for immersion as well, but a bit less,
a bit wider, so it's just a classical orchestral piece.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
But after a bit you kind of think, well, what
do I do now?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I think we all need a bit of a muse,
a bit of a reason, even if it's just to
write something and dedicate it to somebody else. I think
it's a really good starting point if you're you know,
a bit lost, or you know, it feels like sometimes
I've done everything. I've composed for every situation. Because the
chapters of the book are all very different, I've sort
(11:45):
of composed for each chapter, and you do get to
a point where you think I've sort of run out
of ideas. But finding a muse is the solution to that,
I think, And it doesn't have to be you know,
the idea of a muse pose generally would be a lover,
especially from you know, men throughout creative history of talked
(12:09):
of muses as there. I mean, probably just an excuse
to perv over them. Really, the cynic in me also death,
you know, elegies and.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Things like that.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
You you know, you the great composers produce beautiful energies
and they were asked to do those so that those
things are It's a muse as well, isn't it. It's
the idea of creating something for a human being and
being inspired by that human being to create it. So yeah,
(12:42):
that's my thought of the day. And I am also
this other idea of being quick on my.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
YouTube and have to grow my YouTube. Now.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
I really want to grow my YouTube. It's a couple
of reasons. First of all, my grandson said, you haven't
got enough followers. You never make money on there, and
I thought, oh my god, that's such a challenge. You know,
I want to impress him God. So I've looked at
my YouTube as well, and I think the way come,
absolutely the way forward is to do these play along shorts.
So all day, well, in between creating bowls of porridge
(13:16):
for my lovely grandson and you know, taking him swimming
and all of that, I'm going to be doing these
fantastic shorts. And I'm not going to stick to just
double bass. I'm going to do cello. I'm going to
do all the strings. Piano, I can do, guitar, tab
I can, there's absolutely anything. So that's what I'm going
to do. And I'll have playlists on my YouTube for
different instruments, okay, and you can play along to them
(13:40):
on your phone. Such a good way of learning. So
they're quick for me to do, guys, They're very quick
for me to do. You know, I have all the software.
I understand music. I know what's important what's not. I
know what's useful and what's not. Everything that I put
up will be really interesting or useful. One or the
(14:02):
other scales aren't particularly interesting, but my word, they're useful.
So you know there will be scales in our pitios,
et cetera. So yeah, that's that's the update for Icevelant,
the sort of next wave really this month. All good
plans can be put on a shelf for later, And
that's where my live broadcasting jamming sessions are at the moment,
(14:25):
on a shelf for later on when I'm alone.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
So speak later, guys,
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