Drama Queens The New Predator Part 1-S05E19

Recorded: December 17, 2023 / Published: Feb 17, 2024

• - Text your questions and comments to 865-268-4005 or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.

• - In this first episode of a three part series we are deep diving into the most controversial topic we have address on the podcast: the predatory drama queen.
• - Rules to Love By: (https://inclusionwoodworks.com)

1. Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2. KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3. “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

1. - “Drama Queens: The New Predator Part 1-S05E19”
   1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202009/5-signs-you-might-be-drama-queen#:~:text=Creating%20drama%20was%20one%20way,%2C%20psychopathic%2C%20and%20narcissistic%20disorders.
   1. is a personality disorder characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability. More specifically, Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by instability in relationships, self-image, emotions, and behavior (impulsivity).
   2. Criteria for diagnosis:
      1. 1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
      2. 2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
      3. 3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
      4. 4. Impulsivity in at least two potentially self-damaging areas (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
      5. 5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
      6. 6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and rarely more than a few days).
      7. 7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
      8. 8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
      9. 9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
   1. A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by 5 (or more) of the following:
   2. 1. Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
   3. 2. Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
   4. 3. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
   5. 4. Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
   6. 5. Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
   7. 6. Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
   8. 7. Is suggestible (i.e. - easily influenced by others or circumstances)
   9. 8. Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are
   1. “5 Signs You Might Be a Drama Queen” by Claire Jack Ph.D.
   2. Borderline Personality DIsorder (BPD):
   3. Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)

Important Links:

1. Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/519
2. National Suicide Hotline: [phone]
3. NCSF Kink Aware Professionals: https://www.kapprofessionals.org
4. https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication
5. https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey
6. https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic

Show Producers (Updated Dec 1st, 2023):Become a show producer: https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon Make a one-time donation: https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/PayPal Snail mail a donation or gift:Kuldrin Entertainment, LLC257 N. Calderwo

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to mydungeon. Welcome to coldron Script. I'm
yours, mister cauldron. If you'rethe show, we are combined thirty four
years of BDSM experience in my twentyyears working in the psychology field. Does

(00:24):
spell miss, get rid of stereotypesand atch your questions about BDSM. You
can text in your questions and commentsto A six five two six eight four
zero zero five or visit the cryptof caldronscript dot com. In this first
episode of a three part series,we are deep diving into the most controversial
topic we have addressed on the podcastso far, the predatory drama Queen.

(00:51):
This is going to be a psychologyladen episode and uh I already expect some
attempts to cancel, But like CherryQuery commented on fl you can't cancel somebody
who doesn't give a fuck. SoI'm just letting you know what you're getting

(01:12):
into right off the bat. Thisis going to be very interesting and very
beneficial for people in their relationships,whether it be friendships, family dynamics,
partnerships work. If you can spotthese particular psychiatric diagnosies and know how to

(01:34):
deal with them, it is veryvery beneficial. Hello Mayfair, Hello Cauldron.
Are you ready for this one today? Sure? I've been fighting this
topic for a few years, andit's one of three topics that I've been
fighting doing and I just, yeah, here it is. It's going to

(01:59):
happen. It's going to hurt somefeelings, it's going to piss some people
off. But you know, everybodyneeds to remember that that's not my intention,
and it's also not my problem.If something I say offends you or
bothers you, it is for whateverreason that it does, and you need

(02:20):
to look inward. When I'm offendedby something, I want to know why.
I want to go a little bitdeeper and figure out, Okay,
why did that bother me so badly? And then I'll usually come to terms
with the fact that it has nothingto do with the other person, and
in a lot of cases, nothingto do with what they even said.

(02:42):
It's my own personal experiences and personalissues that created that disagreement within myself.
And that's what a healthy person does, not that there's According to the media,
whether it's the right or the leftside of politics, would have us

(03:06):
to believe it's you know, inthe heartland, the non coastal states of
the country. I think there's alot of healthy people out there. And
yeah, so if you're offended,first ask yourself why, and the answer
is not because he's an asshole.It has nothing to do with me.

(03:30):
Dive a little bit deeper, havesome emotional intelligence and really figure it out.
And that's called self improvement. Sothere you go. All right,
just letting everybody know what they're gettinginto today. I've already guesstimated that there's
going to be some cancelation attempts andblah blah blah, but all right.

(03:52):
Rules of love By. If you'renew to the show, this is not
how a typical episode starts, butthe rules of the love By we do
hit every episode and these are broughtto you by my Kinky woodworking company inclusion
woodworks dot com. There is alink for it down below if you want

(04:14):
to check it out. Rules ofLove By our real number one safe,
saying, consensual and informed well numbertwo Kinky, that's K and K.
It comes from the Kinky app,available on all platforms. They're not a
sponsor, but it stands for knowledge, no intolerance, kindness and integrity.
And while some of the things thatmay be said today if you're easily offended,

(04:40):
or even if you have one ofthese psychiatric diagnosies, may come out
as intolerance. It is not.I have a deep understanding, a deep
compassion, and worked for twenty yearsto help people with these issues because I
care, not because I'm an evilmonster who's intolerant. So keep that in

(05:00):
mind as well. And rule numberthree. Submission is not about authority and
it's not about obedience. It isall about relationships of love and respect.
Very important as well. All right. Drama Queens The New Predator Part one,
Season five, episode nineteen for Decemberseventeenth, twenty twenty three. I

(05:27):
have two friends whose birthdays are today, so happy birthday to both of them.
They're not listeners, but just incase one day. So five signs
you might be a drama Queen bydoctor Claire Jack. This comes from Psychology
Today website. I am going togo over this or May Fair and I

(05:49):
we are going to go over this, and then we're going to dive into
two specific diagnosis, one of whichis borderline personality disorder and the second one
is histrionic personality disorder. We're goingto introduce both of those and then in

(06:12):
part two of this series, we'regoing to take a deep dive into borderline
personality disorder, and then part threewill be histrionic personality disorder. And there
may be a fourth part TBD tobe determined. So all right, Mayfair,
do you have the article pulled up? I do? No, okay,

(06:35):
may I take it. You haven'thad a chance to look at this
since I was late getting this toyou. I kind of thought that the
things below were pulled from the article, so i'd over actually open. Oh
okay, no they are not.That's okay. Five signs you might be
a drama queen. Why thriving ondrama leads to instability, anxiety, and

(06:58):
dissatisfaction. Again, this is doctorClaire Jack who blogs for Psychologists Day Women
with Autism Spectrum Disorder. All right, so I'm going to start this,
Mayfair, if you want to skipdown to about where the picture is to

(07:19):
start, you know, if youwant to preread some because I don't want
to do all this myself. Idon't have to preread it to read.
I'm okay, okay, all right, I always prefer to you. We
all know people who constantly seem tobe involved in drama. The term drama
queen is often used to describe thistype of person and is equally applicable to

(07:40):
all sex, not just women.Drama queens experience life as a roller coaster.
Relationships are wonderful, then dreadful.People storm out of jobs, get
cheated on, and are a partof intense unstable relationships. Sound familiar.
If you're always at the center ofa drama, what are you doing to

(08:01):
create this situation? And if theanswer is, well, I always am,
but it's never me. I reallyhate drama. Maybe time to take
another look before you respond that you'redoing nothing and these dramatic situations just happened
to you. Let me share myown story. I used to be involved

(08:22):
in one drama after another. Mybrother once said that my life was like
a soap opera until I had therapyand then trained as a therapist. I
didn't think these dramas were anything todo with me. They were all the
fault of other people I came intocontact with. None of us can avoid

(08:43):
the odd, truly extreme occurrence inlife. We're all going to be faced
with the illness or death of aloved one. We might be cheated on
or lose our jobs unexpectedly. Wecouldnot control events, and some of those
events are going to feel like emergenciesthat we get caught up in. But

(09:05):
if you have a history of constantlybeing involved in dramas, you're very likely
playing an active role in creating thatsituation. Why do some people have a
need for drama? Attention mayfair forme. My need for drama stemmed from
partly partly from my need for attention. I often felt unnoticed in life and

(09:30):
felt bypassed by others. I hadsome vulnerable narcissistic tendencies going on, and
I had a need for recognition.Creating drama was one way of gaining attention
by sharing my sometimes very funny,sometimes scary stories with other people. People
with a need for drama often displaypersonality disorders, including borderline, psychopathic and

(09:54):
narcissistic disorders learned behaviors. When youare raised in a family where drama plays
a central role, perhaps as theresult of being raised by a narcissist or
wordline parent, you learn that thisis just how people act. Without a

(10:16):
role model of relationship stability, youmight internalize that people show love and affection
through unstable and dramatic behavior, selfdestructive behaviors go ahead. If you've experienced
trauma, for instance, in theform of emotional, physical, or sexual

(10:39):
abuse, then recreating dramatic situations canbe seen as a form of self destructive
behavior. It is impossible to feelhappy and content while you're living within sequel
traumas. Continuing to engage in thistype of behavior may stem from low self
esteem, which is the result ofpastors trauma. Manipulation and control. Creating

(11:05):
a drama is the one way ofcontrolling others and is often a form of
passive aggressive passive aggression. Instead ofbeing open and honest with people you're involved
with, you can draw them intothe drama, perhaps by creating a reason
to fight with them in order tomake them feel bad about themselves or guilty
about the way they have acted towardsyou. One client told me after a

(11:30):
temporary split with her boyfriend, shelied about going to the doctor and being
told she would need tests to establishwhether or not she had cancer. Her
personal drama allowed her to pull herboyfriend back into the relationship. Excitement I
used to enjoy the excitement of beinginvolved in drama. Nothing gets the adrenaline

(11:50):
flowing quicker, and then wondering ifyou're going to be caught caught out.
Some people in couples get addicted tothe passion of makeup, sex, and
the intensity of emotion which follows anargument. They become so used to being
on an emotional roller coaster that theybecome addicted to it. Give up the

(12:15):
fights, the lies, the manipulation, the intense intimacy, and you're a
bit lost. How do you knowyour relationship is going okay without the breaking
and making up. If you stopcreating dramas, you'll fear for a while
that there's nothing in its place.It's the same as stopping any other self

(12:39):
destructive behavior. You've got so usedto this way of being you don't know
how to act differently. Personality ordevelopmental disorders. If you find yourself constantly
experiencing life as a series of highsand lows and you really don't know why,

(13:00):
you may have an undiagnosed personality ora developmental disorder such as bipolar disorder
or emotionally unstable personality disorder. Yourbehavior may feel very out of control at
times, and you should seek outhelp and assistance from a qualified professional.

(13:20):
You cannot separate yourself from other people. Perhaps you find being easily dragged into
other people's drama. You step into rescue them whenever they're in trouble.
You're always at the other end ofthe phone for your dramatic friend. You're
the go to person in a crisis. Perhaps this role is a role you've
always played, and when new peopleenter your life, you're quickly pulled back

(13:43):
into the role of fixer in someoneelse's crisis. If you recognize any of
the above in yourself, it's possibleto change. Being involved in a cycle
of dramas, no matter how excitingit may feel at the time, is
always going to leave you feeling unstableand dissatisfied. Creating drama means that over
time, you will push people wholove you but cannot deal with being pulled

(14:05):
into your dramas. You need toask yourself, where does my need for
drama come from? It is isit from watching how my parents interacted?
Is it because I have low selfesteem? Is it because I want to
punish myself? You can also takenotes of the type of situations which become

(14:26):
dramas for you, ask yourself,is this really a situation that needs to
escalate into drama. I used toget embroiled in arguments with my older son's
schools simply because at the time Ihad nowhere else to direct my need for
drama. Take a long, hardlook at the types of situations you get
intensely involved in with these become dramasfor someone else, or do you have

(14:50):
a tendency to make them into dramas. Along with the thrill of drama,
there is a high degree of stresswhich can cause extreme anxiety for you and
for everyone else involved in your dramas. If this is the way, yeah,
if this is the way of beingwhich you continue, you'll never be
able to satisfy your need for drama. Instead, you'll get caught up in

(15:13):
the chase of the next installment ofyour own soap opera. If you need
help creating a more stable and contentrelationships, please seek the support of a
suitably qualified therapist. All right,which brings us to our disclaimer. Mayfair
and I are not therapists. WhileI was a mental health professional for many

(15:41):
years, I am not a therapist. I am not a psychiatrist or a
psychologist, and neither is Mayfair.Everything that we are talking about today is
taken from our own experiences, ourown experiences in therapy, and from things

(16:07):
like doctor Jack there and the DSM, which is the Diagnostics and Statistical Manual
for diagnosing mental illnesses. We're usingthe current version, which is version five.
And yeah, so there are thedisclaimers. I haven't looked at the

(16:30):
comments. I do want to sayhello to everybody that is in the chat
room. Maria Cairo, Kayla Davis, b Badcat, thank you all.
The chat room is the third cohost of the show. So if you

(16:51):
guys have any questions or comments,as always, please send those through the
chat. If you are watching onanything other than YouTube, please switch over
to YouTube. If you're watching onmy website caldronscript dot com slash five one
nine and you're unable to comment,just click there where it says YouTube in

(17:15):
the screen and it will send youover to YouTube and you can make comments
there. On Twitter percussios here aswell too. Oh someone's here on X.
I'm not showing that comment. It'snot a comment. Oh, I
see, I see where you're talkingabout. Yep. There. I don't
think their comments come through. I'mgonna log in, okay, all right,

(17:40):
Yeah, we're showing, we're we'restreaming to Facebook and u X formerly
Twitter as well. All right,so what I want to hit on now
is diving into a brief overview ofwhat borderline personality disorder is. The definition
of that is a personality disorder incluster B group B. It's a personality

(18:08):
disorder characterized by a pervasive pattern ofinstability. More specifically, borderline personality disorder
is characterized by instability in relationships,self image, emotions, and behavior do
with impulsivity. So there are nine. I believe you have nine criteria for

(18:33):
diagnosing, and if I remember correctly, I think you have to hit like
six or seven of these before it'sseven. I want to say before you're
actually before you're diagnosed with this,and please don't do any self diagnosing.
And there's a difference between hearing these. If you're listening to this and you
relate to these, don't give yourselfa diagnosis. See a professional and tell

(19:02):
them. And this information is readilyout there. You just use Google and
say, uh, borderline personality definedd s M five and you will find
these. Or you can look atthese show notes and print it out and
take it to the therapist and say, hey, I relate to these I

(19:25):
need help for this. And ifyou are a orderline, it'll give you
a little kick of attention too.So it's kind of like, uh,
getting treatment and giving yourself a littlea little boost. It's kind of funny
how that works. So criteria numberone, what is or what is number

(19:48):
one? There mayfair frantic efforts toavoid real or imagined abandonment. Yeah,
you will find these people uh diagnosedwith this, are having this issue who
fear abandonment so bad. This iswhere the push and pull the instability in

(20:11):
relationships comes from. That they willtry to force people to leave them so
that they're the person that is incontrol. Like if I can force you
to leave because I know that you'rejust going to abandon me anyway, then
I don't have to worry about itanymore. And a lot of people like

(20:33):
this have kind of a real patternwhen it comes to length of relationships.
A former slave of mine never madeit past six months with any relationship in
her thirty two years, because asit got closer than that was it,

(21:02):
she knew it was going to endand she started pushing her partners away.
Number two a pattern of unstable andintense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes
of idolization and devalue. Is adevaluate devaluation mayfair? Do you have any

(21:29):
clue what that one means? Unstableand intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between
extremes of idolation and devaluation. I'mguessing it's the if you remember the cartoons
when we were kids that the heartsover the head and I'm like, oh,

(21:52):
it's everything's perfect, and then nothingis perfect, everything's wrong, and
then just a cycle between yeah,a cycle of honeymoon phase. And it
can be abuse. A lot oflaymen who don't and most of these people

(22:19):
don't know what borderline personal disorder are. I refer to people with it as
emotional terrorists, emotional abuse, andI'm not if you are diagnosed with this,
if this is you, I amnot saying that about you. We
make that clear again, worked inthe field twenty years helping people I care.

(22:48):
However, with that said, itcan come across that way. So,
but yes, that push and pull. So I love you, I
love you, I love you,I hate you, I hate you.
You're the worst. You suck you'reuseless, get away from me. And
it's just this constant back and forth, this push and pull, and it's

(23:10):
for those of us who are notthe ones with this particular diagnosis, it
is incredibly frustrating and exhausting. Andthat's where self fulfilling prophecies come into play.
You, Yes, if you pushsomebody enough, if you're going to

(23:33):
push them away, thus that abandonmentis going to happen, So it becomes
a self fulfilling prophecy. Number threemay fair identity disturbance, markedly and persistently
unstable self image or sense of selfanything on that one. You don't know

(23:57):
who you are, yeah, Andthat's where the whole borderline personality comes from.
It's not this is lack of anidentity, So it's trying to find
an identity with whoever the flavor ofthe moment is bouncing from, you know,

(24:22):
possibly idolizing different people in their life. And then when that phases out,
it's on to the next one,and often it is with intense amounts
of drama. Number four impulsivity inat least two potentially self damaging areas.

(24:47):
Examples will be spending, sex,substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating,
so being impulsive in at least twoof these potentially self damaging areas.
Now, I'm not sex shaming here. We all should know that there are

(25:08):
healthy ways to handle it, andthere are very unhealthy ways to go about
your sex life. Mayfair was somethingthat just popped into my mind that we've
talked about before. Is that friendof yours who was meeting people off of

(25:30):
different apps and just randomly traveling Idon't know, three hours to Nashville to
hook up with somebody and you know, don't know nothing about them, don't
you know that kind of stuff likeputting yourself that is a risky situation.
Like to do this over and overand over, that's very risky, especially

(25:53):
after she'd already had to like blockone because they become obsessive and borderlinserted stalking
her and she continues still Yeah,and while still living with someone who is
abusive at home that he didn't knowabout all the other things. Mm hm
And you know, wow, nosurprise. I hate that, but it's

(26:26):
it is no surprise. I don'tmean to sound cold. I truly feel
for her. Also, uh,not using protection and sleeping with more having
sex with a lot of random people. Is we should all know by now

(26:48):
STIs and STDs and how unsafe thatis. And that is a potentially self
damaging her self harming activity. Numberfive recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats,
or self mutilating behaviors. Yeah,there's that self harming. I believe

(27:17):
six six percent of borderline the isthe mean for borderline person i disorder diagnosed
individuals to complete self deletion. Numbersix effective instability due to a marked reactivity

(27:42):
of mood. Active instability due toa marked reactivity of mood. Examples intense
episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety, usually lasting a few hours and rarely
more more than a few days.So these mood swings, and that's why

(28:06):
people get in because it's you know, known as BPD, which is also
bipolar disorder. People can get thetwo mixed up if you're not well versed
in these things, and they aretoo completely different psychiatric conditions. Borderline personality

(28:30):
disorder is a personality disorder where bipolaris actually a chemical issue in the brain.
So there's that. And and ifanybody wants to get into whether this
is learned to behavior or you're bornwith it. That's not for this conversation.

(28:57):
I can point you in the directionand for some of that information effective.
Number six. You read that,I just did that, do you?
Number seven chronic feelings of emptiness speaksfor itself. Number eight inappropriate intense

(29:18):
anger or difficulty controlling anger. Example, frequent displays of temper, constant anger,
recurrent physical fights. Yeah, whatwe would really consider low emotional intelligence.

(29:41):
You just it's all reactionary only thisis inappropriate reaction. Always making a
mountain out of a molehill. Somelittle thing happens and like so perfect example.

(30:03):
I was hanging out with a groupof friends. This was in my
early twenties. I was really hungry. You know, hey, who wants
some food? Most of us wereawake. We had had a long night.
This was actually probably about five o'clockin the you know, the start
of the evening, and we're justwaking up. And I woke up really

(30:26):
hungry, and we didn't wake acouple of people up to get a food
order. We're like, you knowwhat, fine, when they wake up,
if they want food, either thengo get it or we'll wait till
everybody wakes up and we'll go somebodycan go make another run. Well,

(30:48):
about the time that Brian was comingback with food, somebody woke up and
well, I'm sorry, a coupleof people woke up. There was probably
like seven or eight of sleep.There was thirty people crashed out of this
house, at least thirty people,and there was a few people woke up.
When Brian came in, he hada very loud personality and he was

(31:11):
so here comes a couple of people. One of them was like, oh,
you guys got food? Yeah,did you get for everybody? Now,
we figured we could make another run. No big deal. We're just
right down the street from a fewrestaurants. Anyway, Okay, the other
person complete complete explosion to the pointof a couple of holes in a wall,

(31:37):
and it turned over stove just becausewe didn't wake them up for food,
and you could literally walk in tenminutes to three restaurants. So yeah,
I mean, that's not the greatestexample, but it's definitely an example
of that inappropriate intense anger and itwas uncontrollable, all right. The last

(32:02):
one for diagnosis transient stress related paranoidideation or severe dissociative symptoms. So transient
meaning it's on the move. Itoccurs during stressful times. You become more

(32:22):
paranoid. You know, people areout to get you, they're talking about
you behind your back whatever, orsevere dissociative symptoms. You do things,
you don't remember them. Other peopletell you and you think that they're trying
to gaslight you, stuff like that. So, yeah, those are the

(32:46):
nine things with the nine diagnosing criteriawith borderline personal disorder mayfair. Do you
have anything to touch on with anyof those or we're the article before we
get into the history onic any commentsthat you've seen because I haven't looked at
him at all, mm hmm,not that I've noticed, perk set that

(33:12):
this was at the beginning when westarted talking about personality BPD. So do
they hate when you use the wordemotional terrorists or emotion when you were giving
that speech. Oh yeah, yeahthey do. And oh okay, and

(33:37):
no that's not towards you park,Oh okay, that's you know, but
that's the facts are facts, andthat really is just because they are doing
something that is emotional terrorism. We'retalking about people that come by this honestly

(33:59):
because typically you know, you're talkingabout a learned behavior. I said,
I wasn't going to get into that, but this is something that people are
taught through abuse or like we saidearlier, having a narcissistic parent something of
that nature. So it's a survivalmechanism that people learn. Like everybody,

(34:21):
every child needs attention, and ifyou are not feeling loved, if there's
been abuse that's taken place, andthe only way for you to get attention
and feel some kind of way emotionally, then you're going to act out.
You're going to do these things.So it's a learned behavior and it does

(34:44):
not make you a bad person.You may do things that yeah, they
they suck and they hurt people,but it can be treated. It's a
very long process that we're going toget into in the next episode, but

(35:07):
it can be done through several differenttypes of therapy. Dialectical dialectical behavioral therapy
DBT is as far as I know, considered the best treatment and it takes
years because one of the big partpart of the problems is that the problem

(35:27):
isn't with you, the problem iswith everybody else. So it really is
a case of going through the twelvesteps really and having to break your addiction
with the attention seeking behavior. Soall right, anyway, okay, Mayfair.

(35:50):
Yeah, I've just in your definitionsand explanations, several of these have
been said to me. Ah,self fulfilling prophecies. Mm hmm. Keep

(36:12):
accused me of cheating, but you'regonna make it happen, And I'm like,
but you already are. Yeah,that's different. Like I said,
don't self diagnose. I just said, I'm like, you're the way you're
explaining it is echoing things that havebeen said to me repeatedly in previous relationships.

(36:35):
I'm not saying that this is me. I'm saying that I've been told
a lot of these things, butat the same time, I prove that
the things were already happening. Yeah, it's I don't know. Yeah,
And that's and what you're saying isthe perfect example of why it is incredibly

(36:58):
important to not self diagnose, becauseMayfair, you've in the the years that
I've known you, you have becomeyou were always I feel you've been pretty
self aware, but I think thatthat self awareness has grown massively in the

(37:23):
the what's six seven years that we'veknown each other. Yeah, and so
go ahead. I was just Ithink it's six. But yeah, I
think you're right. So the factthat you can look at these situations and
whatever you know and say, well, these things have been said to me,

(37:45):
but I've proven them. You know, there's there's been truth, truth
come out. So when I saythis, don't don't think that this is
directed towards you. Is what I'msaying here, I'm prefacing something that you
know what I'm about to say.But if if there's a repeated situation these

(38:13):
sayings are always taking place, thenit's a good idea to take a look
at them. Because if you're alwaysthe problem in a relationship, then one
of two things, one of threethings is probably going to be true.

(38:35):
The first one, you have aterrible ability to pick a partner and you
are stuck in picking abusive people.That's the first one. There's help for
that. The second one, allof these sayings are true, and you

(38:58):
need to talk to somebody about itand figure out why you're self sabotaging and
why you're having these self fulfilling propheciescreating these situations. Or number three,
and there's help for number two aswell. As we've talked about we're number
three. None of these things areactually true. You have done as Mayfair

(39:22):
has done, and you have provenin these situations that there was it wasn't
a self fulfilling prophecy. It wasalready knowing that somebody is cheating and you're
trying to present to them and getthem to admit it, and then they're

(39:45):
gaslighting you. And if that's thecase, then you've been manipulated and in
an abusive relationship see number one.And yeah, you need to talk to
some buddy about that because you needsome help. So you know, it's

(40:06):
always good. If any of thisis familiar to you and you don't have
somebody close that you can talk to, just as a preliminary then I say
go straight to the source of psychiatriccare, being a therapist or something.
And even if you do, Ihighly recommend, just as Mayfair has done

(40:30):
and talked about on the show,she's gone to therapy and had an amazing
therapist after going through a number thatwas not just one a number a number
one somebody who wasn't I have beenthrough many therapists. It takes it can

(40:50):
take you know, five ten peoplesometimes to find the right one. So
keep that in mind as well.All right, historyonic personal disorder HPD is
defined as a pervasive pattern of excessiveemotionality and attention seeking beginning by early adulthood.

(41:20):
Because they don't like to diagnose childrenwith personality disorders, so they say,
beginning in early adulthood and present ina variety of contexts as indicated by
five or more of the following criteria. So a pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality
and attention seeking history onic personal disorder. So we're looking at eight things,

(41:47):
and if you have five of thesethen you can be diagnosed with personality disorder.
So mayfair, what is number one? Sorry, there was distraction over
there. Gotcha is uncomfortable in situationsin which he or she is not the

(42:10):
center of attention. Speaks for itself. Number two. Interaction with others is
often characterized by inappropriate, sexually,seductive, or provocative behavior. Now that
may sound a little nineteen whatever innineteen fifties, like, oh, you're

(42:39):
you're, you know, you're you'vegot some kind of of of sexual disorder
acting out whatever. No, andI get that we're living in the kink
world. And again, not sexshaming. This is just a different kind
of behavior like all of my friendswithin the lifestyle, we can talk about

(43:02):
the kinky stuff and it not beinappropriate or sexually seductive or provocative. We
can also have conversations that have nothingto do with sex. We talk about
work, we talk about the kids, our pets, hobbies and interests,

(43:24):
stuff like that. So this isit's not sex shaming. There's a difference.
And if you want me to diveinto that one day, I'll do
that. That's its own kind ofepisode on how do you different with people
in the lifestyle? How do youdifferentiate between inappropriate sexual, sexually seductive,

(43:49):
or provocative behaviors that are I thinkmy friend is that example. Yeah,
yeah, right, sorry, Ihad one of the dogs. When she
gets anxious, she starts eating thingsshe shouldn't and so I had to get
some trees, sud no worries,no worries, all right, hooking up

(44:15):
on tender with no protection, nosafe call, that kind of thing,
I think would be one example ofthat. Absolutely. Yeah, thank you
for throwing that out. For somereason that didn't come to mind. That's
why there's two of us. Takenumber three displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression

(44:38):
of emotions. There again, thatflip flop kind of like with borderline,
there's a flip flop that happens there. And the thing is the shallow expression
of emotion. I don't for mepersonally, and my therapist, wife and

(45:07):
other professionals may disagree with me onthis, and if they do, I
will talk about it when we goover this in part three in a few
weeks. But this shallow expression,so there's an ere way of thinking of

(45:34):
this. I'm like, well,you know, for some people, you
know, kind of being ho homeabout things, to use an old,
ancient expression is what they think of. With shallow expression, it could be
that they give a very passionate appearance, but there's no real, no real

(46:00):
emotion behind it. I've heard ofcrocodile tears, somebody just boohooing. They're
they're freaking head off and never sheddinga tear, no real no real depth

(46:22):
to their emotional outbursts. You know, it's like you look at them kind
of like, wow, that wasjust dramatic and you know, going off
out of anger, just like youknow, over the dumbest. But they're

(46:50):
not really angry. It's attention seeking. They're not really crying. It's attention
seeking stuff. Like that, soagain, and the life is watching,
and she will, she will.I'm sure tell me if I'm correct or
incorrect when we get done. Numberfour, m H consistently go ahead,

(47:15):
consistently uses physical appearance to draw attentionto themselves. That's a big one.
I love piercings, I love tattoos, I love wild and crazy hair and

(47:39):
that self expression. But well notbut and if you do something crazy with
your appearance, you have to understandthat you're going to get attention from it.

(48:06):
You're going to get looks where visualpeople. As much as society today
wants to argue against that and callpeople out for all kinds of different reasons,

(48:29):
it's just that's just a fact forthose of us who are able to
see. Judgment takes place within thebrain in less than a second upon seeing
something, and there's not shit thatwe can do about it. I don't
give a damn how hard we tryto train ourselves. I will be right

(48:52):
back. I'm sorry, that's fine, It's just a fact. Again,
a lot of people are going totry to argue with me on that,
and blah blah blah. And thisgoes back to Cheery Queer's comment and just
the truth, and there's two truths. There is a person's truth, which

(49:17):
is perception, and perception is realityonly to the individual who is perceiving it,
because there is actual truth. Andthat's not a popular thing to say,
because you know, seek your truth. I encourage that. Seek your
truth. However, don't lose sightof actual fucking reality people. Nothing good

(49:50):
will come from that, all right. I'm just saying, you know,
if if I was to have myface tattooed, and I don't know if
you know this or not, Itattooed for seven years. I was tattoo

(50:12):
artists professionally trained, not just ascratcher, not that scratchers who are people
who tattoo out of their house.Not that scratchers can't do amazing work.
I've seen some beautiful work by scratchers. But as a as somebody who was

(50:34):
a tattoo artist for seven years,I know a lot of people with face
piercings, tattoos. In fact,Percussio, we were in a place not
too long ago, and when Idid my stuff with the health Department for

(50:55):
becoming a tattoo artist, I meta guy who had, like I don't
know, fifty or sixty face piercings, and I was talking to him about
that and it's like, yeah,yeah, I mean because I was,
I was looking and he looked atme and was like, you're trying to
count him? And he you know, it was He's like, you know,

(51:19):
you get this much shit in yourface and this to be expected,
I mean, And I'm like,well, you know, at least you're
not an asshole about it, youknow. He's like, no, unless
somebody else has been an asshole aboutit, Like in which I understand,
you know, somebody's being rude andwhatever, but some things you just you
can't help but look away from.I've been very guilty of this, whether

(51:42):
it be at you know, seeingseeing there's okay, one weird example when
I go when I leave and I'mgoing to town, and I drive by
this. There's two houses that Ialways look at, and one of them
is because of a dog and thisyeah, and this one this is a

(52:05):
is a German shepherd. And thisis in a very slow spit. The
spin limit through there's thirty and there'sa really bad curve, so you have
to slow down even more and alot of people will cross the line in
that curve because they try to takeit too quick. But there's a a

(52:27):
German shepherd there. So that houseand the people there, they have a
fire pit in the driveway, oneof those portable fire pits, and so
during the summer they'll be out therehaving a fire, having a few friends
over stuff like that. And theyhave caught me many a times. I've
been waved too, and I've beenflipped off because I was like just staring

(52:52):
over there and I was watching thedog. I used to have a German
Shepherd. I love them, andthen I had another dog that was part
German shepherd, so I love thosedoctors. And then the other house is
a blue. There's this blue dodgeram and the color of blue. I
don't know what it is about it, but I cannot help looking at it,

(53:15):
like I try. I think I'mnot going to look at it this
time, and I can't help it. I look at that truck because to
me, it is like the mostbeautiful shade of blue I think I've ever
seen, and I want it sobad, right, But yeah, and
there's tattoos, like I love tattoos, and yes I have a tattoo fetish,

(53:38):
but that doesn't mean that I fetishizeall people with tattoos, or even
some people with tattoos, but becausetechnically it's not the person I'm fetishizing,
it's the tattoo that they might havethat I'm fetishizing. I digress. But
you know, I've seen people outin public, in Dungeon wherever that I

(54:02):
just keep looking at them, andand it's because I'm just so drawn to
that. I had a meme forthis at one point, and I don't
think I still have it. ButI'm sorry for I'm sorry for staring at
you. I didn't mean to.But your tattoos are awesome something like that.
Nature, yeah, man, Imean. And I've gone up to

(54:24):
people a kitty her oh no,okay, my screens just went off.
I was like, oh god,it does power a kitty with the big
butterfly on her chest. I forgetthe The designer of that particular piece can't

(54:45):
remember their name, but I lovetheir work. And her tattoo has held
color. It's a it's an oldertattoo, but you'd think it's no more
than a couple of years old becauseit's old colors so well, and it's
really pretty and it's really colorful andone of the first times I met her,

(55:07):
you know, I because I keptglancing at it. It's on her
chest and I'm just like, youknow what, before she starts thinking that
I'm just like a creep, I'mgonna tell her and I'm like, hey,
so I used to tattoo. Ilove tats. It's it's kind of

(55:30):
a fetish for me. But justhow old is that? Because I cannot
stop staring at it, and Idon't want you to think that, like
I'm I don't want to creep youout. I don't want to be that
guy, so you know, Andshe was cool about it, like,
but I had to be respectful andI but every time it would catch my

(55:55):
eye in the peripheral periphery, Iwould just see the color flash and be
like you know that, Yeah,like that is so cool and that's reality.
And in today's world, we wantto deny reality that the brain works
that way and there's nothing that wecan do about it. But it does.

(56:20):
And that does not give anybody theright to be a creeper, you
know, and use that as anexcuse or anything like that. But I
have found that because I am avery visual person that the best way to
handle that kind of situation is tojust bring it to the forefront and talk

(56:42):
about it. You know, you'rein an n creepy kind of way,
and if you are just a creeper, then just freaking get help for that,
all right. Anyway, I wasabsent. I had a pup emergency
there. But I think I don'tknow did you meet me? What color

(57:07):
was my hair? That's a question, because blonde, but then you went,
I guess some purple. Okay,So I got I had a factory
job. I no longer work there. No, I'm pretty sure because it

(57:29):
was right before you became a TLGEO. But yeah, or gl sorry,
it was a normal color at thatpoint, so yeah, it was
blonde. Okay. So yeah,before that, like just after I got
the job, I wasn't even officiallyhired on yet. I was working for
their temp service. I dyed myhair for the first time, crazy colored.

(57:52):
I didn't do it because I wantedattention. I just had always wanted
my hair to be crazy. I'dalways wanted it. I finally had a
job that allowed it. The amountof people who think they have the right
to comment on those things or glareat you is fascinating. Okay, I

(58:14):
know it's different. I know it'sunique, but you can try. Yeah.
At that time, it was twentyfifteen, so it was it was
still rare in our area. Yeah, but like I had people just like
blatantly look down their nose at me. I've had people just why would you

(58:39):
do that? Because I wanted toI like it. It's pretty Yeah.
Are you sure? Yeah? Iam. It's it's fascinating the way people
think they have the right to commentand judge you on it. Just this

(59:00):
week, my sister has visible tattooswhere when I'm at work, mine or
not, she had. She washelping me and she roomed a patient and
they were like, wet, putthem in our room. Not ruined?
Are you are O? R OO M E D. We We work
both in the medical field. Soshe was taking a patient from the waiting

(59:22):
area to the doctors or not toa doctor office, but to the room.
There you go. That's the word. I was trying not to call
it room number, which is whatwe call them. We can go by
numbers. But regardless, one ofthe patients was like, you have a
lot of tattoos there? Did theyhurt? Well, she's like it depends

(59:47):
some of them hurt more than others, Like some were fine and some stung
a bit. But he's like,well, why would you do that?
Why would you have those? Andjust and we were we were in a
much smaller town than we currently livein. So they're probably about ten to
fifteen years behind us out there,and I'm guessing they were older. Oh

(01:00:08):
yeah, seeing their generation, onlythe you know, the outcasts, the
rebels got tattoos as well. Soin a rebel it's hard for them to
understand. And I've talked to alot of elderly people about tattoos because,

(01:00:32):
you know, working in the nursinghome and stuff, and it's hard for
them to wrap their around their mindsaround how somebody could be a professional person
and still have tattoos, because onlyrebels have tattoos, and rebels, well,

(01:00:54):
they don't work like professional jobs andstuff because that's working for the man
and they're rebels, and you don'twork for the man when you're a rebel.
And so they may have sixty seventyeighty one hundred years of thinking this
way, and but that doesn't meanyou have to be rude about it,

(01:01:15):
No, it doesn't You're absolutely right, And I'm not making an excuse for
rudeness, right, I just explainingto some people, not you, but
some people who may not understand wherethey're coming from. A wise person seeks
to understand before being understood. SoI'm sorry, may Fair. I don't

(01:01:42):
mean to hijack her. No,it's just it's it's it's it's an interesting
piece there to have things that drawattention to you, whether you meant for
them to or not. But Imean you couldnowge I kind of, but
you can't. You you have toknow that you do something like that.

(01:02:02):
If I if I get a bigdick tattoo on my face, people are
going to stare at it. Yeah, And I just never imagine people having
such audacity to say rude. That'sas cynical as you are. That's your

(01:02:22):
face, Like I can tell whenthey're talking shit about me, Like you
can look at them and see andthat's fine, But not to just walk
up to you and be like,ooh, that's growth, why would you
do that? Well, we've we'vekind of joked, yeah, you're right,
Well we've kind of jumped into atangent here, and I didn't get

(01:02:43):
to communicate at first because Zip waseating gross you shouldn't, So that was
have a style or constantly use physicalappearance to draw attention to self that is
number five number or number four numberfive go ahead has a style of speech
that is extremely uh, impressionable,and like, yeah, that was coming

(01:03:08):
out of my mouth so impressionistic andlacking in detail. So yeah, I
think that one speaks for itself,because like, do you mean like my
accent, because I don't know.We'll move on your accent. Well,

(01:03:37):
like I started out as I soundedlike the girl from Shake and Bake if
you're old enough to remember, Ifnot, you can google it. But
then like I've physically worked on changingmy accent to the point where I've been
told I don't sound like I'm fromaround here. No, it's so that's

(01:04:00):
what I'm It's more of like aThe lacking in detail is not so much
in like not having a an accent, it's more of my understanding would be

(01:04:25):
more of like a I guess amelancholy or h ex sensifully impressionistic and lacking
in detail or exaggerate, not exaggerated, but you know, give a whole
lot of talk and really say nothing, yeah, which is why I said,

(01:04:50):
well, that's to me, thatwas kind of obvious. I just
had a hard time articulating it.But you know, somebody you can talk
to or sit there and listen toyou for hours and they say thousands of
words that sound like it's you sawa leadership for someone who never says anything.

(01:05:15):
Yeah. So number six shows selfdramatization, theatrical and exaggerated expressions of
emotion. They're again going to theextreme for attention seeking. Woe is me?
Everything is just fu dramatic. Youknow, they speak in such an

(01:05:40):
overly big way, like oh mygod, you're not going to believe this,
aha, jumping into a conversation andjust yelling and not caring what anybody
else happens to be talking to.If you walk into a group and just
you know, oh my god,this and this and this and this and
this and like social cues, bitch, what about you know there's there's a

(01:06:13):
way to do that. And whenI say bitch, I'm not referring to
women. Don't get you twisted.God, I hate having to make it
make a statement about every freaking wordnow. Uh. Number seven is suggestible,

(01:06:36):
meaning that they're easily influenced by othersor circumstances. That's that spontaneity,
and it's almost it's a detriment totheir well being. There's a person I
used to tease all the time,like you don't know who you are.
One day you talk like you fromthe hood, the next you wearing cowboy

(01:06:58):
boots and square dancing. Depends onwho you're hanging out with. I know
who that person is. And what'snumber eight considers relationships to be more intimate
than they actually are. So thisis a huge red flag for me.
This one. I meet a lotof people, and I've talked about this

(01:07:25):
before. The word brother I haveor had five brother three brothers and a
sister. The word brother is somethingthat I am intimately familiar with and carries

(01:07:49):
a lot of weight, and it'snot something that I use lightly. I
refer to Buffalo, Max, shadowy, fox, sir, mutual respect.
Very few people. There's a fewmore, but very few people. I
will refer to them with the termof brother. There is one person I

(01:08:20):
know that I've brought to their attentionseveral times. Don't call me that I
mean is first or second time,second time, third time? Maybe that
we met and you know we're brothers. No, we're not. I'm gonna
say a name, Chad Mayfair fromthe defunct Freedom Hills. Oh. Sorry,

(01:08:47):
when you say that, I thinkof my actual brother. No,
his name is Jad. Yeah.Very very quick to consider relation ships to
be more intimate than they actually are. I think of a past relationship.
Oh, we're best friends, we'reyou know, Oh what? Uh?

(01:09:15):
We had never even kissed and hesaid I love you. You know.
I was too distraught at that pointto have the competency to run. My
dad had just died and my boyfriendwho i'd been with for on and off
for six years at that point,and we didn't live together until like the

(01:09:39):
past six months. The same dayhe moved in his girlfriend. Then my
dad died, and I didn't havethe wherewithal to realize that this boy who
said I love you before we'd evenkissed was someone I should run from.

(01:10:02):
How long had you known him thatyear? And I hadn't really known them
that well until after the breakup.Yeah, And that's another like throwing around
I love you, It is likeI don't. Yeah, No, I
don't. I don't do that ship. Yeah, I mean no, even

(01:10:24):
though, you know, I don'tthrow that like if I've ever if I've
ever said it to you, it'sbecause I truly meant it, and it
just go ahead. The ex whomoved in said, girl, he heard

(01:10:46):
the new guys say that, Andhe's like, bro, I'm gonna give
you a piece of advice. Don'tsay that I heard you early. She
will run faster than you want todo it, don't. Yeah, And
he's like, I don't need yourhope. Yeah, no, right,
I just needed to, you know, factory reset. It would be like
who shit danger robson d I loveit, Oh god, I love it.

(01:11:13):
Uh yeah, that's that is avery very glaring red flag. Anytime
I meet somebody, I watch theirinteractions with others and I vet people,
you know, and vetting only getsus so far. But part of that

(01:11:33):
vetting process is like, you know, how uh how close are you really?
Because they said you you got youtwo are like besties or whatever,
and I want your your opinion onit. Well, we're close, but

(01:11:54):
you know I wouldn't say that really, Okay, And then I'll dive a
little deeper with them. Now Iwon't out the person that I was using
to vet them. I'm not gonnado that and damage relationships, but I

(01:12:15):
can ask a little bit more aboutLike, so you said that you two
were best friends, well and you'veknown each other for years, Well you
know who else are you close to? And oh, I've got tons and
tons of of friends. I justI love them all. Okay, well

(01:12:41):
maybe you do. I know peoplelike that that honestly have tons of friends.
I do not. Most of thepeople that I know do not,
but I do know some and theyare genuine in that. But yeah,
that can be a huge, hugered flag. In fact, the person
I was talking about earlier with thewhole brother thing that I just completely squirreled

(01:13:08):
because my computer screen went off again. They yes, they still don't get
it. They still don't get it. But if we've known each other for
six months, don't act like we'vebeen friends for twenty years. But this

(01:13:29):
considering relationships to be more intimate thanthey actually are. So I dive into
that. That's a very common thingwithin our community, and that's where I'm
going to really get into some controversy. But first I've got to think a
few people. I took these outof the description for the for YouTube because

(01:13:56):
I needed to include the histrionic andborderline person of disorders descriptions, and it
only allows so many characters. Andit's the first time I've ever cut these
names out. I apologize for that. In hindsight, I only had two
minutes to get this posted. Iwas doing research and stuff all morning,

(01:14:23):
and yeah, I was running behind. So in retrospect, I regret that
I took those names off there.I should have just taken part of the
definitions or something out. But weare a value for v podcast, which
means we don't take any corporate sponsors. What happens is simple. People hear

(01:14:45):
what we have to say, theyfind value in it, and then they
reciprocate that value and time, talent, or treasure. If you want to
donate some treasure to us and helpus out, we greatly appreciate it.
If you want to donate time doingsomething for us, or a talent,

(01:15:08):
if you've got something you want tomake for us, yeah that's cool.
If you need some ideas, thereare some like graphic design stuff, stuff
like that that we would love tohave done. Feel free reach out to
us. Email me Master Cauldron atgmail dot com. But if you want
to become one of these show producersthat we talk about every week on the
show. These are people who donateannually or monthly. You can do that

(01:15:32):
culture script. Are you there cold? Dr Well, folks, either I've
frozen or he's frozen. I needy'all to tell me. Am I still

(01:15:55):
here? Is he still here?Yeah? Anybody? Are we both gone?
I'm gonna need the chat room tohelp out anybody. Okay, I'm

(01:16:17):
here. Good. That's what Ithought was happening. I was getting a
little worried that we were both gone. You were on speaker cauldron. Yeah,
Internet died, h Internet. Okay, I will pull up so you

(01:16:51):
can just yet muh dropped off.Catch. Yeah, I'll read the producers
first, though. You froze rightat the beginning, okay, all right

(01:17:11):
by all right, So in caseyou guys didn't hear him via the phone,
he said, the next few itemswe'll catch on the next episode.
But I am gonna go over ourproducers in the meantime. It seems like
their internet crashed where he is soexecutive producers at twenty five months, twenty

(01:17:35):
five dollars a month. It's tuniccorn Angel, Johnny Farrell, Ray Webb,
Haru Webb, Darling, Tienne andSarge, Cairo and Exploring Mermaid.
Yes, and Caldron is back Yah. Oh so you want me to check
over? Then you can if youwant. I know you normally do we

(01:17:58):
have I finished executive producers so we'reon Sire Senior Producers ten dollars a month.
Trouble one thirteen, Alexandria, BabyLove and t Rex Ties, Daddy,
Steve, Kjzila, Ben Trinity,Faye, m r Ken Hawk,
Gentlemen, Sadist, Lovely Sunshine,Nick and Marie producers at five dollars a
month. Kane sen that place inOklahoma City, Thank you, Miter not

(01:18:18):
the Daddy? Hey do youa mbrA poodle? Bad Dog? Bad Subbecks
thirteen Lily Chaos, Cat Nip Meow, Wild Time and Deacon Shawn Cherry Query,
Rabbit, Arcangel, Johnshaw, SegmentShadow, Grizzled YETI and Youo's a
Fetish Artist, Serbing NICs, Neon, Dan and Dawn from the Erotic A
Weakening Podcast Please check them out.Great podcast there, Black Angel, Sir

(01:18:44):
r j Rissefie Nicks O nine Officer, Davis Finn, Peppa, Kinky Ja
Daddy's Princess, Kaylave, Thelfrea andMaria Junior producers at one dollar a month,
K two s O, rope AFishingaudo, Gator and Gizmo, Alexa,
meg Astrod, and Chains, LittleBear and Taya. Yeah, so
thank you so much. Those areall, again the monthly or yearly producers

(01:19:10):
of our show that find value inwhat it is that we do and want
to give value back. And asyou can tell, there's multiple levels,
starting at a dollar a month andgoing all the way up to two thousand
dollars a month. So yeah,one of those days we'll get one of
those two thousand dollars a month ifyou If you do that, and you

(01:19:31):
can do it for just one month, if you want, you can be
a co host on the show.My Week is Better. Charis has got
to hear my name. This isactually the first time that I have looked
at the at the chat all episode. I apologize for that, but this

(01:19:51):
has been very intense. So whatI was going to say to wrap this
up was in getting into and thisis the very controversial parts of Get dis
Canceled, getting into these diagnoses anddrama queens. Yes, that's a derogatory
thing. Some people exhibit individual piecesof these diagnosies and are not the thing

(01:20:18):
itself. That's why it takes morethan just one or two of these traits
to be diagnosed with these particular personalitydisorders. Now, with that disclaimer out
of the way, the reason thatI say that they are the new predator,

(01:20:41):
there's actually nothing new about this.These have been around for as long
as mankind has been around, butit's really coming of age. I'll say
that this seems to be the thing. Our local play base recently hit by

(01:21:04):
this in the version of predatory submissivestaking things to the extreme, going out
of their way to create drama andproblems for people, making mountains out of
mole hills when there is no realneed for this, where people can't just

(01:21:29):
grow up, you know, ourrelationship ends and instead of being able to
alternate weeks saying that somebody needs bannedwhen they've done nothing abusive toward anybody,
They've done nothing wrong. They justneed to be banned because well, he's
my boyfriend and he's no longer seeingboth of us, and you know,

(01:21:54):
this type of stuff getting into thesetypes of mental illnesses. I talked to
one of the producers a couple ofyears ago that they were having to ban
somebody because of their personality disorder becausethey were dangerous to other people, and

(01:22:24):
like, that's a very controversial thing. However, pedophilia is also a psychiatric
diagnosis, and we easily ban peoplefor that. Why. I mean,
we're all adults in these play spaces, so if if there's no children there,

(01:22:45):
then they're not going to harm somebody. But they do harm people or
a I mean, I'm not sayingpedophilia is okay, and I'm not saying
that that they should not be bannedif they're on the registry, if they've
been convicted, if it's been proven. I'm definitely not saying that for all

(01:23:09):
of our safety that has to takeplace, saying that abuse is abuse,
whether it is due to a psychiatricissue or not. Now, if somebody

(01:23:30):
is getting treatment and they're actively workingon dealing with these issues, that's one
thing. If a person doesn't whetherthey realize that this is an issue or
not, it doesn't change the factthat they're dangerous. It's like school shooters

(01:23:54):
or the guy that dressed up likethe Joker and killed the people at the
theater. We don't. We don'tlet them back into society, and we
shouldn't even though they've got a veryserious mental health issue. That's not their

(01:24:15):
fault. They're dangerous, and yeswe can feel bad because it's not so
blatant, but at the same time, it is dangerous for what we do.
I have I have played with peoplethat I didn't recognize, and there's

(01:24:42):
been false accusations. The person Mayfairthat you and I have talked about before,
that was that claimed that they wereabused, assaulted, raped in the
middle of a done with no lessthan thirty people standing around watching, when

(01:25:06):
there was fifty five people at theevent and no less than thirty people standing
around watching. Go ahead, SorryI interrupted, you know, I just
said, and they were the aggressorin that situation, Yeah, they And
the truth was, yes, theywere the actual aggressor in that situation.

(01:25:31):
That is predatory. Is that isdangerous, and so am I calling for
discrimination toward toward people with psychiatric conditions. Absolutely not, Absolutely not, And
I would stand up for any typeof discrimination that took place. And remember

(01:25:58):
the definition of discrimination. Part ofthat is unwarranted unwarranted banning or treatment.
In a different way, unwarranted.Just because somebody has boiline parts one disorder

(01:26:19):
or histrionic or schizophrenia or whatever doesnot mean that they don't get to participate.
If you are dangerous, whether youare are kicking your partner's ass and

(01:26:45):
harming them in a violent and destructive, non consensual way, or you are
creating chaos and trying to intentionally ruinpeople because its to you fucking attention,
then god damn it. Yes,I have fully one hundred percent that you

(01:27:06):
should be banned, not because ofyour psychiatric diagnosis, but because your behavior
is predatory and your shit. Now, if your behavior is because of this
and you know this and you don'tget treatment for it, that's a whole

(01:27:29):
other issue. But yes, youshould be banned until you get treatment and
you can prove yourself or at leastput on some kind of disciplinary temporary thing.
Again, this is controversial, andpeople are going to disagree with me,
and that's okay, that's your opinion. I don't want to go to
a play space and put myself indanger of accusations or play types or that

(01:28:00):
could get me into trouble ruin mylife and there be no substantiating proof of
it. So, yeah, there'syour controversy. That's the truth of the

(01:28:25):
situation, not just my truth.I'm probably going to lose some supporters,
and that's okay. The need forbig adult pants are real, Yeah,
absolutely, absolute, fuckolutely, soall right, And I know I'm bringing

(01:28:47):
the heat here again. I mean, I have put myself in harm's way.
I've had surgery because of the mentallyill attacking people and attacking me.
I have lived days at the hospitalthat I have dreams about At night.

(01:29:08):
I can see someone's face and havea flashback of this, the siginization,
the blueing of the lips of aperson who attempted to self delete by hanging.

(01:29:30):
You know, you work in aninpatient facility for six months and you're
going to see stuff like this.You do it for ten twelve years.
It's while you're working in it,it's just another day at the office,
and then when you get out ofit. And I mean, for some

(01:29:57):
even while you're in it, butfor my personality, it was after that
I left that really started affecting me. And you know, I was willing
to die for the safety of mypatience, and I still feel that way

(01:30:17):
when it comes to protecting people.So it's not about the mental illness.
It's about the behavior and the treatmentof the behavior or the refusal for treatment
of behavior, and about being safe. Thank you, Cairo, I really

(01:30:40):
appreciate it. Cairas says, bringIt says, I know exactly how this
feels. I still get freaked outwhen I see trash in the middle of
the road. Cairo. Since yousaid i ED fears, I hope that
that is since typically only military warpeople or those who have experienced war would

(01:31:09):
have that fear of i ED,which is an improvised explosive device. Yeah.
So Cairo is a veteran of ourUnited States military and spent time in
the sandbox, and that's a veryreal fear. Yeah, you don't.
You don't just have to be awar veteran to experience PTSD. So there

(01:31:34):
was someone I followed, and itwas probably TikTok, because that's about the
only place I watched videos. Butthey said they moved out of the country.
They're in their twenties and they movedsomewhere like I want to say them
into like Germany, and they wereout in the local community, like walking

(01:31:59):
down like a park or something,and a car backfired, and she said
she hit the ground in terror,and when she looked around, nobody else
had even flinched, and she wasjust mind bottled and she was like,
did you not think that was Everybodywas checking on her, and she was
just like, I thought we weregetting shot at. So just this country,

(01:32:23):
with all the shootings, it's notnormal in all the other countries.
I'm not saying anything specific is thecause. It's just they're statistically they're more
here. Well, I mean,I don't want to get into that.
That's that's I know you don't,but I'm already you know, fired up.

(01:32:43):
So if we would give a damnabout our healthcare and mental health,
then it would be less And that'sall I'm going to say. We'll hit
that middle road there in Maryica Housetrying to get into that argument. Just
the reality is is statistically they're morehere. And when she moved to a

(01:33:05):
place that they're not prevalent, acar backfiring did nothing to those folks.
So PTSD is not it's definitely notexclusive to veterans. I'm not saying that
to diminish veteran PTSD because they theyunfortunately, they earned the shit out of

(01:33:29):
that, but it can come fromthings that you don't even expect. Because
this girl had never been part ofa shooting, she'd never been present for
a shooting, but she'd watched allthe TV and she knew about all of
them, and that was her firstthought. So you can get you can
have PTSD and never been in themiddle of the fight. A huge trigger

(01:33:55):
for me is the opening and theclosing to Forrest Gump. The feather that
starts out with the feather floating inthe air falling. So you know we
talk about NICKI doesn't watch movies.Oh yeah, you haven't seen Forrest Gump.
Holy crap. Well, okay,so it's just a feather floating in

(01:34:18):
the air and it's it's like wavingback and forth as it blows around and
whatever. You've seen a feather,a little, a little feather fall around.
So this person that I referenced astrying to self delep by haying,
I found him trigger warnings here,people, and I had you know,

(01:34:40):
I'm not going to go into greatdetail. I'll just say what was wrapped
around his neck had to be cutoff to get him loose, and I'm
holding him up and as the hehad long hair, and as the nurse
cut what was around him, shecut part of his long blonde hair,
sandy blonde hair, and the way. For some reason in that moment,

(01:35:04):
I locked into the hair falling tothe floor. And there was one little
bunch of it that fell just likea feather floating to the ground. And
I don't know if it was slowmotion trauma induced like time change and perception

(01:35:28):
change or what, but that's exactlywhat it looked like. And so if
I'm walking my dog or you know, outside whatever, or and I see
a leaf fall out of a tree, the feather the beginning and the end
of forest gump, it's I alwayssee that little blond bunch of hair,

(01:35:49):
to the point where I can almostcount how many hairs were in that little
bunch falling like that. And yeah, So I'm just saying that I have

(01:36:11):
experienced things, and I've done thingsfor people with mental illness that can't be
undone that can't be unseen, andI will continue to do so. I
am an advocate, and I'm alsovery much an advocate for the safety of
others. And it doesn't have tobe a harsh thing. I'm harsh.

(01:36:38):
I've been harsh this episode because ofcurrent situations that have pissed me off.
So all right, well we've lostjust about everybody at this point. They
don't want to hear about it,don't want to think about it. They're
done. I've become boring and andpeople have checked out, so I'm going

(01:36:58):
to quit rambling. We're over anywayby eight minutes. Thanks everyone who has
stuck around. Sorry to the onesthat couldn't stick around anymore. And uh
yeah, if you have stuck around, comment Banana. I don't know why.

(01:37:18):
Just the first thing that come tomind. If you've stuck around to
the end, comment Banana. Don'tyou know if you liked it, if
you hate it, do the wholethumbs up thumbs down thing. Don't forget
to subscribe so you get the notifications, ring the bell, all that good
YouTube shit that you hear over andover and over. Yep, thank you,

(01:37:41):
Lily Chaos, She commented Banana witha question mark. But yeah,
do the YouTube stuff and help meout with that algorithm that's going to do
it. Mayfair any last thing.The point of this today wasn't aiming to

(01:38:03):
call anyone specific out. It wasto help bring awareness that people are fallible,
and people can be helped and redeemed, but they have to take accountability.
They have to put in that work. It's not saying you don't belong.

(01:38:26):
It's saying that you don't belong untilyou're willing to put in the work
to be better, to be healthy, because until that point, you're harmful
to yourself and others. And wealready are in situations that bring risk,
and if you can't mitigate your portionof the risk as much as you can,

(01:38:51):
then you're not playing safe. Right, Absolutely perfect way to sum it
up. Sorry, is there more? No? Okay, I thought I
accidentally interrupted you again. Uh.My closing comment other than everything that Mayfair

(01:39:14):
just said is percussio banana cheesecake kindof never had it, never thought about
it, didn't know it was thething because bananas aren't big on my radar.
I actually I only eat the eatone maybe once or twice a year
if that. But I think i'dbe willing to try banana cheesecake. I'm

(01:39:40):
not sure. I'm not. I'mnot sure i'd take a bite. Yeah,
i'd give it a go. Iwould not. I'm sorry, I'm
getting yuck on your um on thatone, you're gonna yuck on her,
shame on you. But I can't. M M. I don't think I
can handle those two together. Soall right. I I'm also a cheesecake

(01:40:00):
purist. I like it plain yeah, no, oh god, My my
favorite is the kee lime pie.That's not cheesecake. No, there's a
key lime cheesecake. Yeah, it'sa thing. It's very much a thing,
but not Some people make a keylime cheesecake and call it a key

(01:40:21):
lime pie, and maybe traditionally itwas. I'll have to do some research
and see anyway, all right,thanks everybody. This has been Caldron and
myfairscrip dot com on Earth the truth. Oh, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays,
Happy Kwanza, Honikah, all thethings, and we will see you

(01:40:50):
in the new year, I suppose, so. Yay bye our buddy,