Most Things to Know About BDSM Brats-S05E07

Episode Transcript
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(00:04):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to mydungeon. Welcome to could Script. I'm
your host, Master Cauldron. Ifyou're in to the show. Weeds are
combined thirty five years of b DSMexperience, my twenty years working in the
psychology fielded spell must get rid ofstereotypes and ask your questions about b DSM.

(00:26):
Texting your questions are comments day sixfive two six s eight four zero
zero five or visit script et quldronscriptdot com. In this episode, Mayfair
and I are discussing most of thethings to know about b DSM brat's.
It's kind of a one on oneand then it's also kind of a four
oh one conversation that we're going tohave today. I'm not going to call

(00:50):
it the ultimate God, but weare going to get down and deep into
the weeds with some of this stuffand share some personal experiences. So before
we get into that topic, Hello, Mayfair, Hello Couldron. I still
don't know what you mean I mightknow about this topic. Gee, I

(01:11):
wonder, I mean, I can'tget it. You are a self professed
brat, So yeah, there isthat. I don't know what you mean.
Well, let's hit those rules.The love but and then I'm sure
everybody will know what I mean beforethis is over with. So rules the
love By I brought to you byInclusion word Works, which is my Kinky

(01:33):
woodworking company, going up on thatsite tomorrow, and the Etsy shop is
going to be some word butter.It's all natural bees wax and food grade
bees wax and mineral oil that youcan condition your toys with. As far
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(01:55):
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and like five bucks, five orseven bucks something like that, including shipping.
So check that out Inclusion Woodworks dotcom to go straight to the exc
storts Inclusion Woodworks dot com slash Etsyand like I said, I'll have that
up there tomorrow evening on June thenineteen, twenty twenty three. All Right

(02:21):
rules lub By Rule nber one safeSaying, Consentual and informed. Rule number
two Kinky that's K and K andcomes from the Kinky app, available on
all platforms. Not a sponsor,but it stands for knowledge, no intolerance,
Kindness and Integrity. And rule numberthree a quote from mister Paul Young.
Submission is not about authority and it'snot about obedience. It is all

(02:45):
about relationships of love and respect andrespect. That word's going to come up
a lot from me today as modernday bratting as seen on kink Talk.
There's a lot of disrespect in it, and that is not bratting. So
we'll get into that. This ismost things you need to know about b

(03:05):
DS and Bratt's Season five, episodeseven for June the eighteenth of twenty twenty
three. There's a great article thatI used as a source reference. We're
not going straight from the article,but if you want to check that out,
you can do that. It's bygg Ingle, come out in April
the twentieth of this year, andthere's a link to that at cauldronscript dot

(03:31):
com slash five oh seven, whicha link is down below in the description.
But I can't put a lot ofthese links anymore because YouTube has given
me a strike already for a link. So everybody that's been around a while,
you know I love my definitions.So mayfair, what is a brat?

(03:54):
So? According to the fet Lifeknctionary, a brat is defined as
a person who likes to exhibit oneor more of the following behaviors teasing,
playful, sneaky, mischievous, stubborn, rebellious, disrespectful, or disobedient.
This behavior may be a component oftheir power exchange relationship and should be contented

(04:17):
to beforehand. I consented to beforehandabsolutely. Emerson carsh who's a KEENK educator,
said that a brat is a delightfullydisobedient sub within the dom sub dynamic
and BDSM. Brat's enjoy questioning dominanceas well as they like for dominance to

(04:44):
be proven to them. So think, what's that quote at the top,
one of them to define a bratby just a single phrase, make me?

(05:10):
And that is one that you seeon TikTok a lot. But yeah,
I think that sums it up prettywell. Make me. But before
we get into this, yeah,I have a question. Yes, why
did you need an article to giveyou any inspiration? As you were like
the King of the Brady Dawn justthrowing that out. Yeah, yeah,

(05:34):
you you know. I gotta,I gotta, I gotta pause for a
moment with purpose to say hello tothe chat room the third co host of
the show, and I will askthe third co host of the show for
a second opinion. None of youyou that's in here, Ben, Caleb,

(06:00):
bad Cat, Davis B. Idon't think any of you would ever
say that I am a brady damI just don't see it happening. Back
me up here, guys, comeon, I'm lying. I'm just gonna
throw the quote out here. It'sthe reference. Oh oh, you're putting

(06:32):
the definition a person who likes toexhibit one or more of the following behavior's
teasing, playful me sneaky, huh, mischievous, stubborn, Oh not at
all, rebellious, disrespectful, No, no, I don't think that that

(06:53):
word belongs in the definition. Ordisobedient. Well, I do make the
rules, so you know whatever,Does it still count as disobedience when you
break your own rule? Davis B. Says Cauldron a bat a brat.

(07:14):
Never. Lily says you are though, Uh, let's see. Kayless says
hello will never bad Cap had snort. Ben says, don't know what you're
saying. I saw nothing. OhI love it. Uh yeah. Kayles

(07:42):
says I wouldn't say disrespectful. Somesome yes, but some are yup.
Yeah, No, I don't.I don't like that being part of that
particular definition. But that's what fatlife has to say. So all right,
may fair, now that you've calledme out plenty, Why why a

(08:05):
brat? Why would anybody want tobe a brat during play or sex or
they're dynamic favor one ever seen thescenes on TV where like they're fighting and
somebody the guy is like saying somethingand like she just says, make me

(08:28):
and then she's against the wall.But the hand around the throat and the
growls, and why wouldn't you wantto be as the question? Nice description
there, He doesn't wanted to belike shoved against the wall all that could?
I mean, really why not?So why not just straight up ask

(08:50):
for it? As opposed to itis not the same. If I have
to ask you to throw me againstthe wall, then that's just not fun.
Okay, I just need you todo it, because if I have
to ask for it, it's justlike I know it's coming, I know
it's not as fun, it's notas exciting. So you like the antissa

(09:13):
patient as well and the you neverknow, like you might get thrown in
swall, you might get thrown overa shoulder, you don't know, over
a knee, you know, youmight just get manhandled, like we talked
about the last time. You neverknow. That's the fun part. Nice,

(09:33):
Okay, that makes sense. Beingcheeky, disobedient, snarky, and
naughty can be fun. It createsa sense of playfulness that is often missing
insects. I did an episode along time ago that sparked a spinoff podcast,
which I quit doing after seven episodes. Call it a time to laugh

(09:58):
and because people some people love mydad jokes. But anyway, but in
that episode that sparked that off,which is or set that off, which
is uh, you know, laughlaughter, Like why does every thing have
to be so serious? And beinga brat can be a very fun way

(10:24):
to engage with your submissive side withoutbeing a stereotypical sub brats or mouthy,
badly behaved and keen on punishment typically, And I think that that that certainly
can go for Don's as well.Like I those who have listened since the
beginning, you know, I usedto be very high protocol. I was

(10:45):
very stern and set in certain ways. I did like to laugh and cut
up in more of a traditional vanillaside of a dynamic. But when it
came to being in protocol or ina scene or whatever. It didn't do

(11:11):
it for me. Yeah, Ican't say that now. Mayfair and the
third co host, being the collectiveof the chat room, is one hundred
percent accurate. I am, infact a Brady dom there admitted it.
I think that's the second time onthe show. Oh so, uh,

(11:37):
there's a sex expert and a kingconstructor Julietta Sharmante I think is her name.
Charamonte said Brett's get great enjoyment fromplaying a game of cat and mouse,
defying authority and in turn receiving apunishment from their brat tamer. So

(12:05):
if you're turned on by being disobedientor being exceptionally playful, then your bratty
side might be something that you wantto explore. And there's a lot of
safe ways to do that, andwe're going to get into that. So
maybe what would you say it reallymeans to be a brat I don't know.

(12:31):
I mean, it's just my personalityin general. I'm a bratty person,
which is odd because I also verymuch loved to follow the rules,
but I like to know which rulesI can push at. It's just I
guess it's in a way. It'shaving a safe way to push rules when

(12:54):
in regular life I generally try toobey them to a t. Yeah,
that makes a lot of sense.That's that's yeah, psych one on one.
There A lot of people get inthis to escape their their reality back,

(13:16):
as says Antissa pain Shin Ben said, gives the doms many opportunities to
practice the look. And who doesn'tlove to get the look? Like Lily
says, I think it's more thanmake me behave part for her. Yeah,

(13:43):
so good points. Good points whatit means to be a brat.
The brat can be a very funsubmissive PERSONA of brat intentionally misbehaves in order
to get a ride out of theirdom, often eliciting punishments the brat and

(14:03):
joys driving the dom a bit madwith their naughtiness. It's all centered around
defying authority, which can be veryvery very hot, or to be the
authority that's being defied and that puttingsomebody in their place. A brat will

(14:26):
taunt, push brown boundaries and testtheir doms limits and patience and hopes of
causing a reaction, which on that. One of my favorite things to do
is planned ignoring. There's nothing that'llpiss up brat off more than planned ignoring.

(14:50):
Yes, the brat tamer brat dynamicis typically very playful and easily adjusted
for nearly any consenting dynamic. Andwe've said consenting a couple of times already.
So make sure that if you're goingto have planned ignoring, that is

(15:13):
something like with everything that is negotiated, because for some people that is very
much a hard limit. Kayles says, I say, we do it for
the attention, So we're just brettingright back at your bread. Yeah.

(15:33):
Yeah, that can often cause aninteresting look if you're somebody that has a
pretty pretty even personality or even alow key kind of side most of the
time, and you can really startlethem with bratting back at them, which

(15:54):
is also fun because it often putslike the ultimate fear in them that you've
lost your mind and you're about tosnap. So you get some mind fucking
some fear play in there as well. Mayfair, how does that play in
to bratting for you? The aspectsthat I just mentioned of mind play or

(16:18):
mind mind fuckery or a fear play, I mean, because both of those
are things that you enjoy on something. Yeah, it's just okay, see
how far I can push this.Let's go okay, see to to come

(16:45):
back to what I said about theplanned ignoring, Klys says for her,
that's disrespectful depending on how and when. And yeah, a lot of people,
it's a hard limit like that,that really because a lot of people
don't even realize that. Or Braddy'sside is kind of a tween side,
you know, a middle of tween, a little something like that. So

(17:11):
you you kind of get into analtered headspace and you need to be very
cautious of that. You know,if you grew up in a home where
you are often ignored, that couldbe a landmine. Or if even if

(17:33):
you weren't ignored, and it's somethingthat you just you've never really experienced,
that can be that can make youfeel exceptionally lonely. So it's something that
needs negotiated and then checked in on. Lily says, it just sucks when
you're top is better at bratty thanyou are. I think I might know

(17:56):
about that. What you're trying tosay mayfair. I'll leave it up to
interpretation, fair enough, So,how is brading submission like if you're if
if you're saying no that you're notgoing to come here, or you know,

(18:21):
you're not going to do the thing, You're not going to do your
chores. Whatever. How is thissubmission? Because I want you to make
me do it, I'm gonna doit. You just gotta make me do
it. I need more effort putin. Apparently, just tell me what
to do, make me do it. So that sums it up. Brad's

(18:42):
offer their submission in a way thatis amusing, consensual, and done for
a reaction. You're not being obedientin the traditional DS way, but a
brad will submit when they're dom decidesto punish them or force it on them.
You know, go clean your room, No, go clean your room.

(19:07):
No, okay, well I'm gonnaI'm gonna pick you up, carry
you to your room, put youover my knee, blister your ass,
and then you're going to clean yourroom. See, and I mean,
let's let's be real, there's probablygonna be something else that happens in a
lot of the cases. If you'rein a bed and you're being spanked,

(19:32):
you know, one thing leads toanother. Why why whatever would you mean?
Sorry? I had turned my phonedown, I didn't realize I didn't
do that already, you know,And it's also a good way to make
you the don't forget that I wassupposed to be cleaning the room. You

(19:55):
think, do you think that's gonnahappen? Even with my bad memory?
Do you thin I think that that'sgonna happen? Me and my room stayed
pretty dirty for a long time.Oh yeah, I mean that's but that's
because you're a grown woman. Andand to be fair, it wasn't dirty.
There was just a lot of clothes. Yeah, it wasn't. It's
not dirty, it's just cluttered,have too many clothes cut cluttered but clean.

(20:23):
Interesting uh duplexity there, But yeah, no, that's that is One
thing too, is is picking yourtiming, and we'll get into that a
little bit later. Don't let meforget that because I don't actually have that
in the notes. I want togive a shout out to Junicorn's Angel just

(20:45):
told me that she is not goingto be able to attend dinner this evening.
She's sick. So I get wellsoon. Hopefully I'll see you one
day this week, Lily says forme, I'm normally doing it as I'm
britting about it. Okay, thissays, can be a way in which

(21:14):
I feel I need the discipline.I think there was more too. Oh
yeah, if I've gone too far, something should be said, tell me
I went too far. Yeah yeah, I like that. By the time
I get to the point where I'mgiving the look, that's that's when you

(21:41):
know you're getting close to the line, because I always that's always my warning,
like we're getting there, we're gettingthere. What what you want is
about to happen. You push pastgetting what you want, and they're they're,
they're that it's on a disrespectful level. Ben says the best punishment for

(22:04):
brat is no punishment, at leastnot the one they're looking to get.
Yes. Yeah, all the yeshas been tylor secrets. Leis says,
I've also learned that sometimes if I'mbratting, it's unintentional, and when I

(22:26):
get called on it, we realizethere's something I need that I'm not communicating.
Well, I like that he callsme out on it. Yeah,
that happens a lot, just naturally. Oh, it's a random appearance from
Mr Kinhawk. Hello, so gladyou could join us today. I miss
you. I talked to brat duringa month. Once, because she was

(22:48):
obnoxious and her daddy DOM was lookingtired, I quietly said something that only
those close to us could hear.She started to behave, and her eyes
got wide and in excitement. Withexcitement, she turned to her daddy DOM
and exclaimed, that's how you doit, daddy. Oh oh yeah.

(23:22):
Yeah. That is One of thethings that can be disrespectful or exceptionally playful,
depending on the dynamic, is comparinghow somebody else does something to how
your your dom does something. Mayfair. You've got to look, what

(23:48):
are you what are you thinking?I feel that that would be a very
like, hey, I feel thatfor me. If I'm bratting so much
that somebody else has to step in, I've done gone way past or acceptable
as well as I would never eversay that too my partner like, hey,

(24:11):
you should do it like they didthat. Just that puts me in
an uncomfortable place. Yeah, thatreminds me of somebody who and this was
an abuse situation, but where theDOM was was beating their their sub and

(24:33):
literally beating them, not just playingwith them, and was asking if that's
how other people did it. Yeah, I don't like the comparison. It
did me in a weird space.That's that's a that's a no note for
me. I'm not saying that Emoredid anything wrong. I think it would
be hilarious to watch Emore. OhNo, Emore wasn't the one that said

(24:57):
that. It was the sub thatsaid that to her. Yeah, so
I just go ahead, No,I just admits me nervous. You come
the whole thing. Imagine that situation. I'm just you're picking my nails now.

(25:18):
Okay, this says I partly agree, mayfair Ben says definitely headed wrong
way to smack bottom. Yeah allright, So, uh people hear the
term brat tamer, and again thisis going to be partly one on one,
partly you know, advanced. Sowhat is a brat tamer. You

(25:40):
may choose to go by a differentname like sir, daddy, mommy,
mistress, master, madame, whatever. But the bratt tamer is a style
of domination. It's a role.This their role is to put that brat
in their place and remind them ofthe rules, enforced punishments and order.

(26:06):
Punishments and order. That's very important. You got to keep order that was
negotiated. So while it may notappear like it to some, but bratt
tamer is an authoritative and patient rolethat one must be comfortable and confident with

(26:27):
accepting. And it's not something asmuch as people think it is because your
patients will be tested and not reactingto it. And I've seen this a
lot, people jumping into these rolesto any role, but this one too,
because your patients will be tested andnot communicating. Hey, I'm having

(26:51):
a bad day to day. Let'skind of tone down the bratting a little
bit today, at least for awhile. And because they don't communicate it,
the other person just doesn't know,and then it ends up in a
fight or worse. So you've gotto be careful with that, and you've

(27:15):
got to communicate very well. Wetalk about communication all the time, and
this is definitely one of those timeswhen your communication skills will will be vital
to a healthy dynamic. So thedom is the bratt tamer. Bratt tamer

(27:41):
is not a soft roll. Yeah, there's a whole hard dom as soft
dom. I hate those expressions,but it's certainly not a soft roll.
You cannot be afraid to put yourfoot down. It takes a lot of
skill and development. You have tohone your skills and giving your brats space
to be a brat and maintaining ahealthy power exchange. It could be through

(28:04):
punishments, orders, ignoring the brator the behavior, or any number of
other things other skills that you needto learn. So may fare anything on
that. I think maybe timing mightfit well into this part of the conversation.

(28:32):
I know you said you wanted tocome back to it, So what
do you have to say about that? I mean, for me, I
think timing is I am. Imean, I think we've agreed that I
have a tendency to be an anticipatorypartner in any form. Yes, so

(28:56):
I pick up on moods and stuffreally well, and like their their time.
There's a time and a place tobe a brat, and then there's
a time and a place to actappropriately. And even if you're in a
play space, like I still thinkthat there should be some level okay being

(29:17):
in public versus when it's just youand your partner playing, I think there's
there's a different level there, andyou should always have a bit more respect
when you're in a public setting,not only for your domb but for those
around you. Yeah, and andon that if you're if you're bratting in
public at a dungeon or something,and you're doing it loud and including other

(29:42):
people into it unintentionally, it doesn'tmatter that it's unintentional, it's still wrong.
And if you're the brat tamer andyou're allowing your brat to do that,
that's it's it's just uncouth. Justdon't do it. Other people should

(30:03):
not be pulled into your scene.So timing is is everything. Yeah,
I don't. I don't think it'sappropriate to involve other people unless you've talked
to them and they're aware of it. You know, if you are going
to have a bratty scene at apublic play space, that's okay, but

(30:23):
remember it's still just supposed to bebetween you and your partner. You should
not include everyone else, especially thosewho are also trying to play time.
Yeah. Yeah, and on thatnote as well, like including other people
in your scene unless you've negotiated withsomebody else, it's a violation to brat

(30:48):
on them. You know that whenTikTok first came out and this started to
be you know, brat's where thecool started to become the cool new thing,
which it's not new, it's justthe terminology is newer. The acceptance
is definitely newer. It used tobe way back when when I started years

(31:14):
ago, it was something that wasmostly only done in private, at least
in the circles that I ran in. Like you didn't bread at a dungeon.
Things were we're higher protocol well atand back then dungeons where people's houses.
It was, you know, theyopened up for a party, opened

(31:38):
their homes up to their friends fora party. But there was several people
that I got very very fed upwith and just I still don't talk to
them locally where they started brandon onme. They were not my subs,

(32:00):
nothing had been negotiated, and alot of them, uh, were quite
disrespectful, and I just don't youknow, I never because that's one thing
made fair that you eased me into. Like we've always been kind of playful,

(32:24):
but you really eased me into.And kudos to you for timing because
you you really picked and chose whenand how and made it okay like with

(32:50):
me. Of course, you're veryrespectful in that way. So you know,
people if they if they go backand listen a long time ago or
remember I always talking about how muchI couldn't stand brats, and you can
kind of see a change in mepersonally. How I went from saying I

(33:13):
can't stand brats, I hate brat's, I can't be around brats too,
yeah, exactly, to well,you know, real brats are okay,
because they're not. It's not disrespectfulbratting. And that's what I still to

(33:35):
this day have an issue with isa lot of people just watch too much
damn TikTok, and they take itto a disrespectful level. So yeah,
okay, I can think of andthey weren't even I don't know that they
would be considered bratting. But itwas at a play space. It was

(33:55):
someone's house, and it was thisgroup of like four or five people,
who I guess, we're in littlespace. But all they would do is
run from one play area to another, up and down the stairs, giggling
and screaming and acting like five yearolds, which you know, if you're

(34:16):
point, if you're little and you'refive, that's one thing, but like
you are literally interrupting everyone in thebuilding, and I find that very disrespectful.
Yeah, yeah, no, Iwent to U to our local play
space. I think it is abouttwo years ago. I was there to

(34:37):
visit the person who owns it,and it was on a night where they
were having a Littles event, andwhich I i it may have been the
first time I've ever attended just afull on Little's event, like I've been
to events where littles were, butyou know, they there's the area of

(35:00):
the common area, the social area, and then there's a wall with big
massive glass windows and of course doorsso you can see what's going on without
and talk about it outside of theactual play space so it doesn't interrupt inside

(35:22):
the play space. Inside the actualplay area, then you don't talk.
If you do, it's a whisperand you don't do it close to people.
But there was some people inside theplay area who were who were playing
and doing their thing, and thenthere was a larger amount of people outside

(35:45):
of the play area, and oneperson was really into little Space and running
around all over the place on theirtiptoes. And I can't believe I'm gonna
say this, but it was actuallyquite a door and just really really in
that headspace and having a great time, right And I saw them turn toward

(36:10):
the door and they ran up toit and then their hand moved. I
thought they were going to reach forthe handle and go running in there,
and they just stopped and shot offanother direction. And I'm like, holy
crap, that was cool, Likejust that immediate change of direction. That

(36:36):
was somebody who, even in thatheadspace, remembered what Shadowy Fox is talking
about in this comment. And hellobrother. Shadowy Fox says, if you're
breading in a public play space,including others unwillingly, is breaking a social
contract of social events, absolutely andsomething that we need to watch out for.

(37:00):
Uh, don't again, don't includepeople in your kink that hasn't consented
to it. Let's see Mr.Yes, Mr, who has been around
as long or longer than me,says, back in my day, people

(37:22):
are caught. We're called Sam's smartass masochists. Yes, oh, let's
bring it back. I hear itoccasionally, but we need to bring that
back, all right, Shadowy Foxsays. The problem I saw wasn't you

(37:45):
disliking Brat's. It was Brat's engagingin play without consent and negotiation. Yes,
yes, you're right, you're right, and it just gave me a
bad It gave me a bad experiencewith them. Absolutely absolutely, so all

(38:06):
right, Mayfair? Anything anything elseto speak on to where we're at right
now? Nope, I hang thema gay. Okay, Well, then
let's get into some fun stuff howBrad's act out and how they get punished.
Ask a that came through my headphonesis static? That was not static?

(38:29):
That was Mayfair blowing a raspberry,which is not code for anything.
Ask a thousand people and get athousand answers. However, here are a
few common examples of each of theways that Brad's can act out and be
punished, and one of them.I only put two examples in here because
I'm sure we're going to come upwith a whole lot more so I didn't

(38:51):
bother putting a lot of thought intothis. But verbally, go ahead,
Mayfair, what are some of theseverbal ones? Make me? That's all
right? Come on, you cando better than that, that's all.
Where would that come into play?If you know you're being topped and they

(39:14):
don't, you think they don't hityou hard enough? You want to be
more, Mayfare, Swear to Godyou keep doing that, I'm gonna throw
you over my knee and pile yourass till it bleeds. When that's all,
when prove it? That's won't betyou won't. Uh, you can

(39:46):
do better than that, can't you? Go ahead? You can't make me?
Oh yeah, what's the worst thatcan happen? You never threw that
one out there at me, butsomebody else did. I'm not that dumb.

(40:06):
I know I can't handle the worstyou can do now I have used
it. Yeah, well, Imean you we've been talking about something.
You're like, what's the worst thatcould happen? I mean, if if
you didn't use it in a bradingway towards me that I remember, But
I mean you talked about the personI had I was sleeping with for a

(40:29):
while a long time ago. Hewas very angry still about his ex,
and he's like, I'm gonna hurtyou. I'm gonna hurt you. Don't
like, no, you're not,come on, come on. There was
a lot of bratting involved in gettinggetting him to realize that I'm not fragile
and made of glass, getting himto bruise your cervix for a week.

(40:50):
I don't I don't know that heever, but he was. He you
know, he's the one who likesqueezed my entire stomach and hips when he
dressed all that that guy. Yeah, because his hands were like the size
of my fucking face. Yes,yeah, it's still he was still squeezing
really hard, and he's like,I'm not hurt you. I'm like,
no, where do you what?Nope? Is that it? Come on?

(41:16):
She said, we gotta hurt me? I dare you? Oh?
I did. That's actually how wegot started. It was absolutely a bradding
moment. It was he was like, when are you gonna let me hit
that? I'm like, when areyou gonna try? He's like, you

(41:37):
wouldn't do it. I was like, no, you wouldn't do it.
No, no, no, no, boo boo. Yeah it. Uh
yeah, Oh I'm not looking atthe chat. So if there's anything that
you want to throw out there,feel free. Uh this, yeah,
this one. I want to heara lot as I do what I won't?
Yeah, I do it won't thenLily's got promise? Oh oh yeah

(42:09):
why why? Yeah? That definitelyis a little move right there, constantly
asking why like Anse from from ShadowyFox for you? Oh yeah, would

(42:29):
you like to say that again?Oh? That was not a good one.
What are you gonna do about it, yeah, Ben. Oh,
So those are some of the verbalthings that people say. And of course,
again that's an endless there's an endlesslist there. You can a tone

(42:52):
definitely matters. Pick up your waterbottle. Okay, I'm right on that.
Excuse me, I don't want itso behavioral some of the things that

(43:15):
people do behaviorally to Bratt throwing things, sitting down when told to come here.
Oh my god, I saw thatone one time and I had to
turn away because back then I wasway too serious and I thought, my

(43:38):
god, how could you? Howcould how could you be with him?
And but now you know, I'msure, of course, Mayfair you get
one hell of a little pouty faceanyway, So I'm sure you would just
have that little snarky pouty face thatyou do if you decided, if I

(44:01):
told you to come here and youdecide, you're just gonna PLoP down right
on the floor where you were standing. Grow roots. I feel like I've
done that to someone, but Idon't know who. I would imagine.

(44:22):
I don't remember you doing it tome. But and then and then they
tried to pick me up and theycouldn't do it. Weaklings. Well,
if you go deadweight on someone,it makes it hard for them to pick
you up. And I learned thatpretty early because I didn't like being picked

(44:44):
up. Mayfair has done this verybriefly. I had a brad play keep
away with my shirt. She thoughtit was great until I went from my
belt. Ben says, m Yeah, I mean for me, the behavioral

(45:07):
bratting is a little bit sexual.So if you said come here, like,
I'm more likely to just like gosit on your lap or straddle you
or you know, I'm I geta little little feisty sometimes when if I'm
doing bratting in a behavioral way,well, he says, pouting. A

(45:27):
shadowy Fox says, and we knowa certain we know of certain tops who
very much bratt consensually. Cough cauldringcough. He wasn't even I bet he
didn't hear when I called you outfor being a bratty top. Yeah,
and I admitted it, damn it. Yeah, there's a lot of things

(45:51):
again, throwing things. I wouldn'tdo that in a public space. Timing.
Yeah, that's just a I don'tthink I would do that anyway.
Like, if I'm actually throwing things, I'm like beyond pissed. Yeah,

(46:13):
we're no longer bretting. I'm actuallyfighting at this point. The wife she
hates sparks, and if you giveher a spork, she will literally throw
it across the room. I stillwant to sneak into your house when I

(46:34):
didn't replace all your silver way withsporks. I think that might push her
over the edge. She had eitherturn homicidal, or she would have such
an anxiety attack she would stroke out, or or have a full blown coronary.

(46:57):
Let's not do that. I wantto keep her around. So all
right, So there's verbal, there'sbehavioral, and all of these can also
get into psychological. But how todeal with them? Punishments One of the
go toos is spankings. One ofmy favorites would be orgasm denial or forced

(47:25):
orgasm. The latter is my absolutefavorite. Torture somebody torture you pleasure m
hm m m m m. Gettingwalked like a puppy. Never used that

(47:46):
one on somebody who wasn't a pupplayer. Bondage, forced silence, so
gagging somebody pickling views that one alot. Being put in a cage,

(48:07):
tons of things, sitting in acorner doing writings right, I will not
brett a thousand times I'm betraying ormy kind. But generally speaking, a
spanking isn't really a punishment. Welike it. That's the goal is dancing

(48:30):
on the edge there. Oh yeah, yeah, Mayfair was definitely dancing on
the edge. They were talking aboutreplacing all the silverware were sparks. If
any of you in discord want toknow where that comes from, just let
me know and I will share thatwith everyone. Why she hates sporks so
much? So kind of a funnystory that most people can relate to.

(49:01):
Lily says, he outlasts her brattingand it gets frustrating. Kayla says the
cage, Yes, go ahead,may Fair. They don't want to.

(49:21):
Shadowy Fox says, one of myfavorite punishments is a phrase, I'm so
disappointed in you. It will deflatea behavior. You say very fast,
Shadowy Fox, I say, justabout faster than absolutely anything else. They
won't make you Yeah yeah mmmmmm.I don't understand how you could do that.

(49:57):
We've talked about this. I amso disappointed in you. Ben says,
not just bondage but bound at master'swill. And if you're new and
you don't understand what that means.Bound at master's will is where it dom's

(50:22):
will, however you want to wordit. You're kind of like in a
what do they call them a sexdoll? So you're putting whatever position they
want you in and will be usedin whatever way they choose that has been
negotiated and is consensual. Where's thatbad? Well, you know, to

(50:49):
go back to the definition of brattingtalking about it being fun, so that
would be more of a fun SoI think a funishment fun. Yeah,
I think there should have been actualpunishments and then the funishments that we're aiming
for. Yeah, yeah, Well, but you gotta mix it up,
like there are funishments and punishments whenit comes to bratting. But part of

(51:15):
learning the skills of being a bratttamer is mixing it up so that they
don't know exactly what they're going toget or when they're going to get it.
You know, I may verbally saythat's enough, but then do some
mind fuckery with you're You're never goingto know when your punishment is coming.

(51:38):
It's just gonna happen one day andtwo weeks later toss out a little reminder
it's not today, but it's stillcoming for that, for that bratting you
did. I mean it can befun. Oh god, Lily says,

(52:05):
he's not watching this episode before that'sokay. It comes out to the podcatcher,
he gets still listen. Yeah,disappointed leads to the pout and an
immediate apology. He doesn't do thatmuch. Yeah, and for some people,
telling them that you're disappointed in themis a hard limit. That is
one of those that can be verytriggering for some people. So you gotta

(52:30):
be careful. You gotta be realcareful on some of these, she says.
Not if I don't tell him aboutit, Well, if he listens
to the podcast, he'll get anotification that the episode has dropped. So
it's been published, all right.So those are some of the punishments.

(52:52):
How to engage in bratt play ina safe way. Now we've discussed that
it's skill is something that you needto learn. You need your research.
Uh, I don't. I don'tremember ever seeing any classes on it.
I know there have been. There'sa ton of articles on FET life about

(53:15):
it, from from how to bea good brat tamer to you know how
to be an obedient brat, whichis what you need to be, because
that is if you're an obedient brat, it's a negotiated you're respectful. Now.

(53:38):
I've seen things that I've considered disrespectful, but they were negotiated between the
couple, and that's you know,that's fine, that's them. It's not
my place to judge if it happenedto me. Where my judgment comes in
as personalization of it. If itwas my dynamic and something was said or

(54:04):
done like what I'm referencing, Iwould consider that going too far. So
it's very individualized, as all ofthis is. But do your research.
Communication and consent, of course absolutelymandatory. Pick a safe word you used

(54:28):
to be somebody would start bratting onme. With the exception of roxy Bear,
and because she was the only oneallowed, she was allowed to bratt
really before Mayfair was because I knewher longer. But it was just so
much fun to chase her around whileshe was walking a ladder that she was

(54:52):
shackled too across a dungeon floor.But pick us word, start low,
go slow. You know you're learningeach other. If it's a new dynamic,
I don't care how long you've beenfriends or how long you've known each
other the dynamic, if it's new, there's a lot more learning that's going

(55:15):
to take place. And then finally, don't be afraid to get creative.
As with all BDSM, it's yours. You make it fit you and what
you need from it. So mayfair. So I know that generally speaking,

(55:37):
safe words do are universal and cango either partner can call yellow or red,
but I think in this dynamic,especially the dom or top needs to
feel comfortable to call yellow if thebritting is getting too much. I know

(56:00):
we've mentioned it and generally but generallyspeaking when a safe word, when we
talk about that, we're talking aboutthe submissive, the bottom calling safe word.
But in this case, the actionthat could cause issue is generally going
to be coming from the bottom inthis case, so you as the top

(56:22):
needs to be prepared to say,hey, yellow, that you keep going
that way and it's I'm going it'sgoing to really piss me off. Like
that needs to be something you're comfortablewith if you're going to try to be
a brat tamer is being able toadmit that you need to pause what's going
on. Yeah. Well, andand you know, learning each other and

(56:46):
knowing what a look can mean.Yeah, there's that pliful look and then
there's that serious look if you're gettingclose to the line. Back off,
Ben says, I found when bradingis concerned, a diverse toolbox is a

(57:08):
requirement. Absolutely. All right,We're going to take a break in talking
about brads for just a minute,and I've got some people to think,
and i want to show because I'vereceived a lot of emails recently asking me

(57:29):
about my vanilla woodworking business. SoI'm going to show just a couple of
items after I think some people.We are thinking people because we're a value
for value podcast. We do nottake corporate sponsors. What happens is we
put stuff out, people see valuein it, and then they decide to

(57:52):
give value back, whether it's time, talent, or treasure. And if
you want to donate some treasure,you can do that by going to aldronscript
dot com slash Patreon to become amonthly or yearly donor if you want to
make a one time donation, youcan do that through PayPal at caldronscript dot
com slash PayPal, or if youwant to go old school and send a

(58:15):
present or a check. The addressfor that is also down below. But
the people who are on a monthlyor yearly basis with us master producer at
fifty dollars a month, Buffalo Maxninety two and his submissive wife Kitty executive
producers at twenty five dollars a month. Not the Daddy, Shadowy Fox,

(58:37):
Junicorn's Angel, Johnny Farrell, RayWebb, Haru Web, Maxie Darlin ten
and Sarge, Cairo and Exploring Mermaidsenior producers at ten dollars a month,
Trouble one thirteen, Alexandria, BabyLove and t Rex Ties, Daddy,
Steve kJ Atsila, Ben Trinity,Faye, em Arkinhawk and CLK one two

(59:02):
four producers at five dollars a month. Kane Sin that place in Oklahoma City,
Thank you, Minter, I'm sorryI didn't get to see you this
weekend. And a huge shout outby the way to Cairo Kira Terra and
his wife and sub believe they hadtheir collering ceremony Friday evening at that place,

(59:29):
and yeah, I was invited.I'm not able to make a trip
that far unfortunately, because I reallyreally wanted to go. He and I
have spoken a lot over the pastseveral years, and I hate that I
missed it, but congratulations on that. I wish you the best and I

(59:52):
will get out there to see youjust as soon as I am able.
All right, So hey d backto those five dollars a month. Producers
Hedia, MBR Poodle, Bad Dog, Bad Subecs thirteen, Lily Kat,
Nip me Ow, Wild Time andDeacon Seawan, Cheery, Query Rabbit,

(01:00:13):
Archangel, John Shaw, Au SegmentShadow, Grizzled Yetti and Jo's a Fetish
Artist, Serb, Nice Kitten threeninety nine, Neon, Dan and Don
from the Erotic Awakening podcast, BlackAngel, Sir r j Risifi, nix
O nine, Officer, Davis Finn, Arden, Salas, Peppa, Kinky

(01:00:36):
Ja, Daddy's Princess, Kayla andValfreya Junior producers at a dollar a month,
k Twoso, Morgana thirteen, CivilDisobedience, Rope, Aficionado, Gator
and Gizmo, Lexa, Ashley,Meg Dark, Dia, Monte and Astrid
in Chains. There was a newone. I don't have you on the
list yet, just updated in April, and I don't have the new one.

(01:01:04):
Alexa hush. So I don't havea new or don't have the new
one on here. I apologize forthat. Hey, if you want to
know what vendors that mayfair and Iuse we trust them and they're not paid
sponsors. These are actually kink vendorsthat we just we know them, we
like them, and we purchase fromthem. There is a list of those.

(01:01:25):
Some of them have offered me oroffered my listeners you a twenty percent
discount or some kind of discount.So those codes are down below in the
description. Check those out. Allof my contact information is also down below
in the description, and all ofthis information will be in the show notes

(01:01:45):
for the audio and only version ofthe podcast. All right, so real
quick, I want, because I'vebeen asked so much to show some of
my work. I've just got acouple of things to show here on what
I do. And again I've receivedseveral emails about this, or I would

(01:02:07):
not be taking the time to dothis. Pen I make. These are
turned pins that I make. Youshould take a couple of those out and
show them. So like the purpleone. The purple one here is honeycomb.

(01:02:31):
That's aluminum honeycomb and resin and thecolors really aren't popping out too much.
Put you in here, yeah,I know that's still not working.
That's still not working. So yeah, the blue one, Yeah, they

(01:02:55):
are on the website. There's theblue one. But yeah, you can
check those out at Cedaro Woodworks dotcom. They run forty to forty five
dollars and they take cross refills.The only exception to that would be this

(01:03:17):
one, and that's because this isa Indonesian wood, Indonesian ebony that is
extremely expensive and very rare. It'sthey're considering putting it on the endangered list.
That pen is one hundred and tendollars. So there's just a few
pieces there. This is a littlecatch all with reson in it. I

(01:03:46):
made this for myself. And thenthis piece which is made out of paduke,
which is the red zebra wood wideoak but the paduke stained it and
then purple heart on the top.Big bowl. I can put my head
in it. It's it's a bigbowl. So anyway, that's some of

(01:04:09):
the stuff that I turn also makefurniture and stuff like that. So anyway,
not a commercial. Just people askso I showed you, Thank you,
Ben, And it says beautiful.So if if you have any high
end needs for some woodworking, somefurniture, some homemade or handmade furniture,

(01:04:30):
you can reach out for that.So I don't just make the kinky stuff
an inclusion woodwork, so that thisone is Cedaro Woodworks dot com. There
is no link in the description forthat. So all right, h Mayfair,
Brat's what else? You got?Anything you want that you can think
of? Anything? Like if somebodybrand new asked you, Mayfair? What?

(01:04:56):
So I've seen all this shit onTikTok about brats. What do I
really need to know? How wouldyou explain it to somebody? TikTok is
lying to you, But it's onthe internet. That means it must be
true. The people on TikTok arejust trying to get people to pay attention
to them. There are some gooddon't get me wrong there. I've learned

(01:05:19):
a lot of things from TikTok.But when it was a big thing and
then they were kink talk was actuallyaround. It's kind of basically been kicked
out now. But the bratting partthey never talk about consent. It's a
lot like porn in the TikTok.Yeah, like you don't see the before

(01:05:44):
stuff. You don't see all theprep work. Think of the kink talk.
Think of it a lot like porn, because they're shit in the background
you don't see. If you justwalk up to some random person and blatantly
just act disrespectful, then you're beingdisrespectful. You're not You're not being a

(01:06:05):
brat. You're being disrespectful. Youhave to know the person or you have
to talk about it, and youhave to consent to do it with each
other before it's acceptable to just bea brat. I know that culture,
and I really don't talk about theway we negotiated it because it wasn't necessarily

(01:06:27):
a specific negotiation. It was just, hey, if we do this,
you know I'm a smart ass.That's not just going to disappear. Yea.
That is a core part of whoI am. I am a smart
ass. If I'm only nice toyou, that probably means I'm not that
close because I either don't know you. If I'm not like somewhat of a
smart ass, I'm not close toyou. Like that's how I show friendship

(01:06:50):
and stuff is being a brat,So you have to have that communication forget
everything else from anywhere and you haveto talk. The one thing is you
have to talk to the person you'redoing it with. You have to communicate

(01:07:12):
and agree to things with your partner. And that goes for not just bratting,
but in general anything like consent andboth parties being willing participant. Is
that that's it? Like, that'sthe key is you have to talk about
what you want, you have toagree to. What's okay, that's my

(01:07:36):
two cents anyway. Whoops, Yeah, sorry I muted. Yeah, well
said absolutely percent agree. I wantto go up to this off topic for
just second. Badhat says you shouldmake a woodwork product video where you can

(01:07:58):
do a long, nice display.I do have a YouTube channel for the
woodworking. It's not got much upthere right now. There are some close
ups of some of the pins andstuff, but if you want to check
that out, just search Cero Woodworkson YouTube and you can see that.
I will be adding a lot oflike build videos, turning videos, that

(01:08:24):
kind of stuff. And if you'venever watched wood turning on YouTube, I
highly recommend checking that out because ohmy god, is it ever satisfying.
Yeah, it is just so satisfyinganyway. Yeah, so for me,
yeah, pretty much everything you said. Just communicate, keep it respectful,

(01:08:50):
go over what is too far,talk about signals of things that you know
where you know it's oh shit,I'm about to step over the line,
or they're about to step over theline, that kind of thing. You

(01:09:11):
gotta be very communicative and learn eachother very well. So Ben says,
yes, the watching people turn thingsis very satisfying to watch. So all
right, well it's kind of ashort one. We're going to end it,

(01:09:33):
I guess about twenty minutes early.If nobody has any questions or comments
on topic or off topic, feelfree to throw those out and we're gonna
give it just a minute for that. Today was supposed to be a interview,
or I thought it was supposed tobe an interview with Red and Black

(01:10:00):
Media, which is I think that'sthe name of that may be the name
of the media company or the nameof the movie I don't recall, but
there's a new BDSM movie coming out. It is a heist movie. It's
compared to three five No, no, no no. It's compared to like

(01:10:25):
Oceans eleven, that series. Itis a low budget. But I asked
them, so is this going tobe like a low budget movie or a
low budget or a high budget pointand they're like, no, it's it's
the movie is the focus. Butthe film Fatale in it is a dominatrix,

(01:10:51):
and so Hygienks doesn't sue, andit's it sounds like it's going to
be really good, and we're goingto have one or maybe more people come
on and talk about it and talkabout how really they they're doing everything they

(01:11:13):
can to make sure that it's notlike three sixty five or fifty Shades of
Gray, like there's intimacy coordinators.They're actually lifestyle people. A lot of
steps are being taken. So infact, the actors are as far as

(01:11:36):
I know, as far as Iremember, our lifestyle people. And it's
not going to be just another nastything. Also, and I never really
asked this, but if you couldhit the like button please if you're not
subscribed to that, you know,I never asked that, but or very

(01:12:00):
rarely do I ask that, butI could I could use that guys.
Also, I guess we should mentiontoday Happy Father's Day to all the dad's
out there. Yeah, I'm meantto do that at the beginning. Sorry
for all of you who are fathersHappy Fallow's Day, thanks for tuning in

(01:12:23):
with us, or if you're youknow, fathers of four legged babies like
I am, Happy Father's Day toyou as well. So all right,
well I think that's going to doit, not getting any any question,
anymore questions or comments coming through,and says thank you, You're welcome,

(01:12:45):
my friend, Thanks everybody for stickingaround. It's been a great conversation.
I feel. I know, I'vehad a lot of fun. This this
hour and fifteen minutes is just absolutelyflown by for me. So time does
fly when I'm having fun. Iuh, any anything else? One last
chance, my fair? I wasthinking of another example of bratting. Go

(01:13:11):
ahead, Well it starts from you, but I finish it when you say
say goodbye Mayfair, and I startedactually saying buy Mayfair. Perfect example of
bratting. Yeah, I got somecomments on that when that first started happening,
because you know, I did exactlywhat you told me, but it
was not what you meant. Iremember the letter of I followed the exact

(01:13:38):
sentence. However, it was notthe intention that you had. I remember
the first time I said that,and You're like, bye, everybody,
and then you did it again.And then I was like, I really
expected you to go buy Mayfair andyou're like, no, I wasn't going
to do that in public. Ifigured that would be too far conversation about

(01:13:58):
it because I was like, Iwant to say it. I want to
be a brap. We're in apublic forum. I can't see that's that's
that's respect whining when in doubt gothe respectful route. But my the smart
ass and me was was struggling sohard that first time you said say goodbye

(01:14:21):
me Fair, I was like,m hm oh good, all right,
well let's jump on out of here. Thanks everybody. Uh, this has
been master Cauldron end may Fair forcauldronscript dot com on Earth the truth.
YEA, let's do it. Saygoodbye me Fair, Goodbye me fair Bye everybody,

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