The New Predator Part 3 Histrionic Personality Disorder-S05E22

Episode Transcript
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(00:04):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to mydungeon. Welcome to Caldron and Script.
I'm your host, mister Cauldron.If you're new to the show, wees
are combined thirty four years of BDSMexperience, about twenty years working in the
psychology field, and spell mess Getrid of stereotypes. Don't you your questions

(00:27):
about BDSM? Texting your questions ofcomments day six five two six eight four
zero zero five or visit the cryptat cauldronscrypt dot com. Hey Mayfair,
Hello, how are you doing.It was a nice day so I've been
had the door open and just beennapping, letting the dogs run in play

(00:49):
all fun fun. I have beenuh yeah, watching the best pet videos
of twenty twenty three on YouTube.It's like an hour and a half,
two hours long. It was great, great way to wake up and snuggling

(01:10):
with my little eighty pound puppy.Hello to the chat room, the third
co host of the show. Lookslike we've got a couple of people joining
in and more on their way,so we'll hit those rules, love by
and then get straight into the topic. We're taking another deep dive into psychology.
This is the new Predator part throughhistory on it personality to this Horner

(01:34):
Season five, episode twenty two.Yeah, so Rules Lovebye, brought to
you by Inclusion Woodworks. Mike Cankyou Woodworking company. Check it out inclusion
Woodworks dot Com. Rules Love byruin one safe saying consensual and informed.
The part that people always leave outthere Rule number two Kinky that's k and

(01:57):
KI that comes from the Kinky app. It's available on all platforms, but
it is not a sponsor. However, it stands for knowledge, no intolerance,
kindness and integrity. A lot ofpeople leave off that integrity part Rule
number three Submission is not about authorityand it is not about obedience. It

(02:19):
is all about relationships of love andrespect. By Paul Young. Yeah,
that integrity. After the first coupleof episodes of this series, some people
really showed their integrity. And whatwas the song Mayfair that you commented on
earlier? You're so vain. Yeah, you probably think this episode is about

(02:42):
you. Well it wasn't. Butif the shoe fits, yeah, keep
barking, all right. So TheNew Predator Part three history on personal disorder,
and it's not really the New Predator. It's it's just kind of exposing
maybe it should be exposing the predators, and this one is very fascinating to

(03:07):
me personally. A lot of people, including myself, will call out borderline
personality's word that we talked about lastweek and get it mixed up with histrionic.
That happens even in the pych fielda lot. I was just talking
to my wife who's a therapist,about this last night, and yeah,

(03:30):
we saw it a lot when weworked at the psych hospital, and you
know, people getting these two confusedand the names are kind of confusing.
But we went over borderline last week. Histrionic. The word historyonic means dramatic
or theatrical, so a lot ofpeople hear the history part and don't know

(03:54):
the word because it's not a commonlyused word. But yeah, the words
elf historyonic does mean dramatic or theatrical, so that's where it comes from.
All right. I've got three referencesin the description if you want to check
those out. Five Signs you mightbe a Drama Queen by Claire Jack,

(04:16):
PhD. The Cleveland Clinic, whichis a pretty well known psychiatric treatment center,
and then historyonic persona disorder from psychedB dot com where they also have
a ton of reference information from thethe DSM, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual that

(04:42):
is what is used for diagnosing thesedisorders that do exist. And you know,
oh, Mayfair to tell you,I got called out for being a
misogynist as well because I quoted thestatistics about borderline and there it being diagnose
more in women than in men.I believe you mentioned that from yeah at

(05:09):
least yeah, yeah, apparently therewas a couple of people. But they're
all in the same little group.And I'm just passing along information here now,
Mayfair, and I here's your disclaimer. We are not licensed psych or
medical professionals. Uh. This informationcomes from those who are. This comes

(05:31):
from my personal work history. Butthis is entertainment and information. Uh so
do your own research. Talk totherapists, talk to doctors. We are
not diagnosing anybody here. We arenot you're a therapist. We're not your

(05:58):
doctor. Do and you you arenot your own therapist. You are not
your own doctor. Seek those peopleout for diagnosis. I cannot stress that
enough. Do not self diagnose.Something may seem like it fits, but
get it confirmed from outside sources.Don't be narcissistic enough to think that you

(06:24):
absolutely know because we almost never knowaboutselves, all right, So as we
like to do or I like todo with this type of thing, we'll
rotate back and forth on these.So. History onic personality disorder HPD is

(06:45):
a mental health condition marked by intense, unstable emotions and distorted self image.
The word historyonic means dramatic or theatrical. For people with histrionic personality disorder,
their self esteem depends on the approvalof others and does not come from a

(07:05):
true feeling of self worth. Theyhave an overwhelming desire to be noticed and
often behave dramatically or inappropriately to getattention. People with historic personality disorder often
don't realize their behavior and way ofthinking may be problematic. And that's one

(07:28):
of the big issues with a lotof the personality disorders, whether it's borderline,
histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, anyof these, because you're so used
to just that's just how you are. You're so used to being new that
a lot of people don't even realizethat they have these the confrontational, defiant,

(07:55):
whatever the case may be. That'sjust that's just your personality to a
lot of people. But some ofus, not everybody has a great personality.
There's ways that we can work towardthat, which brings me to the
point that we are not putting peopledown here. We are putting out information

(08:22):
that you can take or leave,but we're not putting anybody down. We
are two people that care a lotabout people and if we can help somebody
to recognize a way that they cando better, just like with protecting people
from abuse, the whole reason thisshow started. If we can protect somebody

(08:48):
from being an unattentional abuse abuser.And that's the thing is, like most
of the people that have this becausethey don't recognize what they do. They
don't recognize that their behavior may beabusive or predatory. So yeah, I
think I've got all the disclaimers eiof the way, and mayfair, do

(09:11):
you want to take part number three? There a pervasive pattern of excessive emotionally
and attention seeking, beginning by earlyadulthood and present in various contexts, as

(09:31):
indicated by five or more of thefollowing, And these are the diagnostic criteria
to have a professional actually give yousuch diagnosis. Number one is uncomfortable in
situations and when in which they arenot the center of attention, two interaction

(09:54):
with others is often characterized by aninappropriate, sexually, seductive, for provocative
behavior. Three displays a rapidly shiftingand shallow expression of emotions. Four consistently
uses physical appearance to draw attention tooneself. Five has a style of speech

(10:18):
that is successively impressed, impressionistic,and lacking in detail. Six shows self
dramatization theatrically an exaggerated expression of emotion. Seven is suggestible example easily influenced by
others or circumstances. Number eight considersrelationships to be more intimate than they actually

(10:46):
are. Yeah, so for youto be diagnosed with this, you have
to have five meet five of thosecriteria. At least five of those criteria,

(11:07):
So I think it's important. Isthere any of those that you want
to touch on? Any examples,anything that you can think of that you
want to give on that. Iwas just thinking. This meets a person
who recently blocked me on my Facebook. She decided to make a stupid comment

(11:28):
and I called her out. Yeah, of course, to be fair,
she actually is bipolar, like shehas to take medicine. Oh okay,
I guess this one doesn't count forher. But she meets all of it.
Well, you there there there aretimes when there's a dual diagnosis and

(11:52):
figuring out the behavioral part with themood swings versus the personality disorders. There's
there can be and often is overlapin a lot of these as well.
The only thing is that medications don'treally help with with this one, whereas
bipolar it does. So if youcan calm that type of behavior down with

(12:16):
medication or level it out, thena lot of times they won't do a
secondary diagnosis unless it's like if youhit on all of these, then yes,
but if it's if it's more minimaland base toward toward the bipolar diagnosis
than usually not. And a lotof that is because of stigma. She's

(12:43):
been with the same person for longerthan ever before in her whole life,
and it keeps her accountable to takeher medicine. So I guess it calmed
some of it down, yeah,but not enough to not be stupid enough
to make the comment, Oh helloto percussio fetish Artists abex thirteen Ben bad

(13:09):
Cat. That Frankie. Who's thatFrankie? I don't know who that is?
Hi, and welcome that Frankie.Yeah, if you're here in chat
room, be sure to sound off, say hello if you want. Some
people don't like to do that becausethey only have one account on YouTube and
they don't want their name associated withwith watching us because they don't want to

(13:31):
be outed, which is fine.I understand that, totally understand that.
All right, So signs. Whatare signs and symptoms of history onic personality
disorder? Number one, and there'sfive of these that we're going to go
over. Personality disorders, including historyonicpersonality disorder, are among the least understood

(13:52):
mental health conditions. Number two.Studies that have been about histrionic and other
personage disorders have identified several factors thatmay lead of this. I'm sorry I
misnumbered these that may lead to thedevelopment of histrionic or other personality disorders.

(14:15):
Now we can get into how theystart. Genetics. Historic personage disorder tends
to run in families, so scientiststhink that there may be a genetic link
or they may be inherited. Andthere's actually a lot of conflicting studies on
that, so it's still kind ofup in the air whether it is nurture

(14:41):
versus nature. You know, natureare you born with it or nurture.
Is it a learned behavior either waythat still can come from your darn parents?
Yeah? Yeah, and I thinkwe tend you know, it could
be said that we do inherit thebehavior of our parents or those who raise

(15:03):
us. It may not be agenetic thing, but that learned behavior is
kind of inherited. Childhood trauma.Huh, I said, it's a bitch.
Childhood trauma. Children may cope withtrauma such as child abuse or the

(15:31):
death of a family member, thatlater, as an adult, may be
disruptive or problematic in their life andbecome part of a personality disorder. Parenting
styles. Children who experience parenting stylesthat lack boundaries, are over indulgent,

(15:52):
or inconsistent may be more likely todevelop history on a personal disorder. In
addition, who display dramatic, erratic, volatile, or inappropriate sexual behavior put
their children at risk for developing thiscondition. Some researchers think that problems in
apparent child relationships lead to the characteristicscharacteristic low self esteem in people with HPD.

(16:26):
So a lot of things can createthis. Yeah, so how is
it diagnosed? How is history ormayfair? Is there any of those anything
in there that you wanted to touchon. No, yeah, they're not

(16:48):
appropriate. I'll take your word forthat, all right. Well, in
that case, let's actually get intohow is a historyonic personality disorder diagnosed?

(17:10):
One personality continues to evolve throughout childhoodand adolescent development. Because of this,
healthcare providers don't typically diagnose someone withhistoryonic personality disorder until after the age of
eighteen. Personality disorders, including historyonicpersonality disorder, can be difficult to diagnose

(17:32):
since most people with personality disorder don'tthink there's a problem with the way their
behavior, of way or way ofthinking. Three, When they do seek
help, it's often due to conditionssuch as anxiety or depression due to the
problems created by their personality disorder suchas divorce or lost relationships, and not

(17:55):
the disorder itself. When a mentalhealth professional, I want to hit on
that one, it's often due toconditions such as anxiety or depression due to
the problems created in their personality disorderssuch as divorce, loss relationship, and
not the disorder itself. So,yeah, that is directly coming from number

(18:17):
two because they don't recognize it.So they have issues that may may lead
them into therapy, but then theywant to focus just on those issues and
not what's creating the issues. Andthat's a big problem, which is why

(18:41):
it takes years of therapy to helpresolve this situation. And it can be
resolved. What was it that wesaid that that quote that I don't know
if the life come up with itor about it's a reason and not an

(19:07):
excuse, like that age of accountabilityand knowing that you do these things.
So once you do have that understandingthat you do this, it's it then
becomes should become your job to correctthis, just like with anything as an

(19:30):
adult. Yeah, all right,sorry, I just I wanted to hit
on that one real quick. It'sit's an explanation, not an excuse.
That's what she said. All right, I'd go to the former show notes

(19:52):
real quick. Okay, so numberwhatever, number four here. When I'm
mental health professionals such as psych psychologistsor psych psychiatrists suspect someone might have historyonic
personality disorder, they often ask broadgeneral questions that won't create an defensive response

(20:14):
for hostile environment. They ask questionsthat will shed light on past history,
relationships, previous work history, realitytesting, and impulse control reality testing.
That that is interesting. Let meI'll take number five on this because it

(20:40):
relates to reality testing. Because aperson suspected of having historic personal and disorder
may lack awareness of their behaviors,mental health professionals might ask to collect information
from the person's family and friends.Again, this is not something that they
recognize that they it is a problemthat causes that creates all this drama and

(21:03):
chaos in their life, So theymay not even view it as it's not
their problem, it's everybody else hasthe problem. Yeah, oh I'm not.
I'm not a drama queen. Justeverybody around me has all this drama

(21:25):
and they don't a lot of timesit's not realize that they're the focal point
of it. So that a lotof that reality testing is being permission to
talk to others about it. Plusyou can if you if they don't allow
it, then you can do directquestioning. Getting into situations and how a

(21:53):
person explains their point of view aboutthemselves. There's and how the world works
will give you a great, greatlyaccurate view of does this person have an
accurate depiction of themselves, others andhow the world works. It's kind of

(22:22):
like if you've got somebody who andI'm going to be stereotypical here, right,
if you've got somebody who is anine or a ten and they think
that they're a one or a two. Now that reality testing? I mean?

(22:47):
Is that is that reality? No, that's not reality. That's what
that means. If if somebody istalking about, you know, they lose
job after job, or they're youknow, every six months they're going to
a different job and the or there'sa problem at every place that they have

(23:10):
they have people telling or every placethat they work have people complaining and gripping
about the exact same things. Now, is that a problem with them or
with the people that they work ator work with? And this is you
know, if I think that myhat is blue, and I've got ten

(23:36):
people that don't know each other intotally different places telling me, no,
it's black, then maybe I needto take another look and seek some help,
you know, go to an eyedoctor and see if I don't possibly
have something wrong with my eyes that'smaking let me see that it's blue would

(24:03):
be my first step. So Iwould be testing my own reality in that
case. Yeah, So it's it'sa lot of things, and checking on
a person's own perception, uh,plus their their self esteem and level of

(24:26):
self value, value of others,and value of world interpretation. So all
right, number six mayfair unless you'vegot there. I was just thinking about
all of my leaders at my previousemployment. They all said the same thing.
But I still don't think it wasme. I still think it's them.

(24:52):
They're all cut from the same toxiccloth though. Okay, to be
loaded within that or organization, it'sbased on who you know. Yeah,
and it's who's their buddy, who'stheir friend. So yes, all of
the stupid ignorant manager guys that Iwas arguing with all the time, absolutely,
we're the problem. They were tellingme to do things that didn't even

(25:15):
make any fucking sense. Well thatwas that was not about those situations,
okay. So also, I don'ttake direction well from someone who doesn't knows
ask from a hole in the groundif I know more than him. Don't
tell me how to do a jobif you've never done it yourself, or

(25:36):
yeah, never done it correctly,which is what got me into most of
the issues I had at that place. Hm. Anyway, sorry, it
I was like it wasn't me.I mean it was, but it's because
I refused to be a puppet,right. Uh. I'm a huge fan

(26:00):
of reason not excuse, because myfirst question after a break check is why
hello to master Frostbite, and Bensays, agreed, once you were made
aware in giving ways to stop orwork on it, you then need to
take responsibility of your actions. Nomore excuses. We're playing the blame game,

(26:25):
right on the blame game, allright. Stop letting them know what
I was doing. Everything ran betterthat way. Everybody quiet for a moment,
so we can feel the world revolvingaround mayfaird Hey, I don't work
at that job anymore. You workedthere for a long time. You didn't

(26:49):
job hop. I you did jobhop. You're not a job hopper.
I am. I am still learningmy foundation at my new job, that
is for sure. Anyway, Mentalhealth providers based a diagnostic a diagnosis of

(27:11):
histrionic personality disorder on the criteria forthe condition in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic
and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.To go it's a different all right.
So yeah, and we went overthose earlier, which I want to run

(27:36):
back through those Number one is uncomfortablein situations in which he or she they
is not the center of attention.Went to a wedding not too long ago,
and I was you were there,and there was somebody there that very

(27:57):
loud and abrasive and and trying toIt appeared they were trying to make themselves
the center of attention. UH interactionwith others is often characterized by inappropriate,
sexual, seductive, or provocative behaviordisplays, rapidly shifting in shallow expression of

(28:18):
emotion. What is it crocodile tears, h boohooing, boohooing, booing and
not shedding a single tear, fakesuicide attempts, And well, yeah,

(28:45):
and that one is a whole topic. I could do like six episodes on
that because that gets intense. Butyou know, a scratch and calling it
an attempt and is a sign ofsomething else is going on. It may

(29:12):
be depression, It may be thatthey hurt themselves too badly at the start
of the self harm, or youknow, it's not every not every situation

(29:32):
is a call out of Oh,they just want attention. That's the mistake
of the world and why people withthese personality disorders get such a bad stigma
placed on them, because yes,it can be exhausting in all of this,

(29:57):
but too quick to go to thewell, they're just you know,
they're just attention seeking. Well youknow there's a reason for that though.
Now granted, most people are noteducated to understand that, and that's you

(30:22):
know, why would you be ifif if you're a factory worker, if
you're a postal worker, an airlinepilot, whatever, why would you be
really educated in sight? So it'sexhausting and you get tired of it and

(30:44):
you can't be around it. Butthere's there's always a greater reason. There's
a deeper why, and we cantend to lack compassion. And while it
would appear to the lay person thatthese are just valid reasons to declare somebody's

(31:11):
just a titch it seeking and irritatingand whatever. Okay, you don't want
to be around them, that's fine, but at the same time helps them
find the deeper meaning, but alsounderstand that that may not be taken very

(31:33):
well and it may blow up inyour face, So proceed with caution.
Again, information education. I'm nottelling anybody what they what to do.
I'm telling options here. These areall just options all right, consistently uses
physical appearance to draw attention of self, has a style of speech that excessively

(32:00):
that is excessively impressionistic and lacking indetail. People are flambuoyantly using all kinds
of foul language and don't even carewho's listening anymore, and has no respect.
And that's just a very general quote. But some are a generalization of

(32:22):
society today. But you know,I had children, I'd be missed if
somebody was in public and cussing andtalking having adult talk around kids. We
need to be a little bit moreaware of that. And if you think

(32:45):
it's fine, that's that's okay,But it's not your children. You know,
if you want to have kids andraise them in a in that environment,
there's you know, you raise yourkids there, not my kids,
But don't do that around other people'skids, is my personal opinion of that.

(33:06):
Just be more respectful. I thinkthat's the problem is that type of
behavior doesn't doesn't create respectful adults.Yeah. Uh. Number six shows self
dramatization. Uh. Theetricality an exaggeratedexpression of emotion is suggestible, meaning that

(33:31):
they're easily influenced by others. Incircumstances and considers relationships to be more intimate
than they actually are. That oneis a is a huge red flag.
Meet somebody two times and all ofa sudden they're like, oh, you're
my best friend, you're my bestie, dude, we barely know each other.

(33:58):
Or a giant red flag that Iskipped over when after my dad had
passed. I love you, bro, ween'ven fucking kissed. Why are you
saying that shit? Like we watcheda movie in the in the room because
we were traveling, so we alllived in hotel rooms and his brother was

(34:19):
right fucking there the extent of howclose we'd gotten. I love you?
What the hell your dad's brother?Woa the guy I dated after my dad
died. Okay, that's what Imean. That's how I remembered it,
But the way it came out kindof sounded a little confusing. Sorry,

(34:43):
So just yeah, just clarify.So those again, are the eight criteria
for diagnosis. So I just wantedto hit on those all. Right before
we go on, I want togo ahead and think, think are our
producers? We are a value fora podcast, which means we don't have

(35:06):
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and have the ability to give someof that value back, whether it be
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No, I thought I already sayhis name. Kine say in that play's
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(37:00):
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So thank you to those bots whatevercountry they came from for donating. Also,
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(37:22):
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those They are kinky people that makekinky products, so thank you so much.
Show notes for this episode can befound at coldscript dot com slash five

(37:44):
to two for the full show notes. So everything that we've talked about,
we'll be right there, all right, And I am going to have to
open up this link from the ClevelandUh go there as we sped through this,

(38:14):
so I wasn't expecting to get tothe last part so quick. I
guess we're just like sticking to thefacts. Sticking to the facts, all
right. So, huh did yousee the comments? No, go ahead
with those, mag fair, thankyou. So Boots popped in with a

(38:37):
normal Boots kind of comment. Hesaid he's bought a toaster and he's weird
to listen. Oh, Athena,I'm not sure if if you recognize the
name, I don't do, shesays. In her opinion, saying that

(39:00):
someone is doing it for attention ismore damaging than ignoring them altogether, because
it shows you're aware of the problem, but you're choosing to ignore it.
Yes, if yeah, yeah,I can certainly agree with that ninety percent

(39:30):
of the time, and ten percentis a very small percentage there, and
I think for see that gets trickywhen it comes to the professional world because

(39:52):
we were trained to call it outthere in a therapeutic sense. But yes,
and for the for the general everydayperson, I think Athena brings up
a very important point there, andI'm not I know. I don't know

(40:14):
if that's the Athena that I've thatI know or not. But welcome to
the show. Uh, go ahead, Mayfair, What are your thoughts on
that? Actually? Did you haveany to share? So obviously I'm relating

(40:34):
a lot of this to and Idon't know if I've ever told the story.
I guess back two thousand and nineera, this guy and I reconnected.
He left his relationship and we starteda relationship, which was my own

(40:55):
stupidity there, and I left myrelationship, which we both did bad things.
I admit that. But then Iintroduced him to at the time my
best friend. She is the oneI referred to earlier who has VPD,

(41:19):
and I recognized all the things,but I tried to ignore it because I
was like, she does that toother people, but me and our other
friend, like, we're the exception. She wouldn't do that to us.
We know better. She's not gonnaShe's not gonna do the thing. Well,
they're married now and their child wasborn just the she they was conceived

(41:45):
pretty close to while we were stillin a relationship. So I tried,
we would talk to or we triedto help, We tried to be supportive,
and then I ignored it, likethe day that she came out while

(42:07):
we were staying over there in bootyshorts that were barely considered enough to be
panties. But I was like,it's fine, you and I've already talked
about it. He doesn't want tobe with her, so I didn't call
it out. I didn't say allthe things, and it blew up in

(42:28):
my damn face, which granted itwas I guess karma coming to bite me
in the ass right away, butso it I think it's tricky either way
you go. Sometimes I think youdo need to be the friend who calls
it out and is like, dude, fucking do something. Be better,

(42:52):
because that's that's how I am asher friend, Like I'm not gonna watch
you fucking row toward the rapids ina boat that's got holes in it.
I'm gonna call it out. Belike, that's a dangerous fucking decision.
You understand the risk you're about totake like. I love you and I

(43:12):
support you anyway, but I'm notgonna just wantch you flail like. I'm
gonna make sure you see what's coming. And I've lost friends from that,
and that's that's fine because they didn'twant reality. They wanted to live in
their delusions. And I'm not thatfriend. If you're gonna run off a

(43:37):
cliff, I want to try tosave you before you do, or at
least hand you a parachute before yourun off. So I think it depends
on the situation, and I thinkit depends. There are too many factors
for me to say one way isbetter than the other, honestly, because

(43:58):
I've done both and I've had bothnot go well. But you know that's
life. Did you freeze Cauldron?Cauldron? Well, I think he froze.

(44:22):
And I'm not saying you're wrong,Athena. I just I think both
ways are very sensitive situations, andI think each situation is different, and
I hope Cauldron will be back momentarily. His internet has timed out. Hey

(44:44):
there he is. Wait it justleave me hanging. Sorry about that.
Internet decided it was like I'm done. I guess my internet just needed a
little attention. So the last thingI heard was you saying that I think
there's too many factors to say isbetter than the other. That was the
last part of what I heard,And I think that's a yes and kind

(45:07):
of thing is that it really dependson delivery. Now to go directly to
Athenis statement in that situation of somebodyscratching themselves and calling it a suit aside
of town, just like with scenesand having aftercare and where all you want

(45:29):
to do is make sure that thepeople involved in the scene are come back
to reality smoothly and in a stableway. And then there's secondary aftercares I
call it, where there's further checkins, and then eventually you get to
the scene debriefing, which is whereyou actually talk about the scene itself and

(45:53):
what took place and debrief on that. And I think think that that you
could do the same thing. Youneed to do the same thing in those
types of situations, like Okay,somebody has this behavior and then you know,

(46:13):
you get through the crisis phase ofit, you make sure they're okay,
and then uh, you know,you continue to check on them and
then you break it down eventually likeOkay, everything's back to normal. Can
we talk about that, like whydid you do that? And not accusatory?

(46:34):
You know, why did you whydid you pull that attention to seek
and behavior? No, why whatwere the what was the situation that that
caused you to self harm? Ididn't realize that's what that was about.

(46:58):
Let's let's be paused. Put onyour positive hat, mayfair. I know
it's you got to dig it outof the way back of your closet and
dust it off, but let's dothat. Well, it's it's it's funny
you say that. And this thiscomes around in high school and I've mentioned

(47:22):
I've been a person who self harmshistory historically, Like this is not a
surprise, it's not a secret.I did show someone once in school because
I did want It wasn't necessarily Iwanted attention. I just wanted to believe
that somebody gave a damn And that'sexactly what and he did. The guy

(47:51):
who I showed called me the fuckout, like I was stunned with what
he said. I showed him.I you know, I had the cuts
under my watch band because that's howI hid them from my family. Mm
hmm. And he was like,you're not trying to kill yourself there,

(48:13):
He's like, that's that's just you'rejust looking for attention. You're just He's
like, that's nothing. He's like, if you really wanted to die,
and he showed me exactly where youwould cut on your wrist if you really
wanted to, I'm not going to. I was just like, oh,
well, what, Like just thebluntness, the abrupt way that this guy,

(48:39):
who was a good friend of mine, we talked all the time,
was just like, no, ifyou were serious about it, you were
to cut here not there. Well, and and also, like you said,
you just wanted somebody to acknowledge you. I mean I told my mom
I was daydreaming about committing suicide andshe didn't say shit about it. Mm

(49:05):
hmm. So it's just like,fuck, would anyone really care? Goddamn
yeah. And and that's that's exactlywhat I'm saying, like getting to that
deeper issue like yours was being seen? Uh and why would you be seen?
You weren't seen by your your ownfather. So Fetish Artist says,

(49:34):
it's a huge red flag for meis when we speak of something traumatic and
they respond that's nothing. Uh,worse is when they won up the conversation.
Yeah, honestly he did me.It was like a bucket of cold
water. It oh ship. Yeah, but you're but also you're self harm

(50:06):
and attempt at self deletion are twocompletely different things. Now. Granted,
you may have been having passive suicidalideation. Is what that's called. Is
when you're daydreaming about it or uh, you know you just want to fall
asleep and never wake up. Thatkind of stuff, that's called passive suicidal

(50:29):
ideation. Uh. Now when you'reactually planning, that is active suicidal ideation.
So but your intent was? AmI wrong here in saying that your
intent was not to die? Iguess not at that point. No,

(51:04):
Okay, I've written the letters andI've been a lot further down, But
at that point, you know,it was just pain to make inside hurtless.
M h. And that's that's thetypical reason why people are in it
will start self harming. They somehowdiscover by a million and one different ways

(51:29):
that hey, if I can physicallyfeel something, then I'm not noticing the
emotional hurt. It's being fed up. So dealing with that deeper reason,
and that's what I was saying togo back to the talking to somebody about
it and debriefing in a caring andnon judgmental way. That worked for you,

(51:58):
but that could have also incited youto do something that that could have
flipped a swee easily flipped a switchin you that led you to do it
the right way for self deletion.Well, I'm I definitely sat many times

(52:20):
with a knife in a hot tubof water looking at that spot he latantly
pointed out to me, M itwas right there. Yeah, I mean,
thank god it worked for you.It matched your your mindset as far

(52:45):
as his approach, and that thatdumping a bucket of ice water on you,
But that is never recommended, almostnever recommended, because it is such
a fine line there between it beingpositively effective and then negatively effective. So

(53:12):
that is something that is never recommendedeven by most professionals to do with their
clients. Sometimes it is a professional'sjob to be that bucket of ice water.
And I've seen it, and I'veseen it work. But I've also
talked had aftercare sessions with therapists atthe hospital after they've done it, because

(53:40):
you know, they've been terrified ofthe client or the patient's response to it.
I mean, yes, we werein an environment where we could have
constant observation twenty four to seven tomake sure that somebody did and self harm.

(54:00):
But you know it's our self delete. But yeah, it's it's dangerous.
I don't recommend that to anybody.We were a couple of high school
kids, so yeah, what wewere doing. Yeah, we've we've all
done. We've all done a bunchof stupid ship as high schoolers. We've

(54:22):
all done a bunch of stupid shipas adults. Anyway. Uh So,
yeah, that is that's a veryvery good topic Athena. Thank you for
that comment. Man, There's beena lot of good ones. I'm suddenly

(54:44):
reminded of. Don't hug me,I'm scared. No, I don't want
you, I want my best friend. Uh, Ben says culture. That's
completely different. Show topic. Idon't remember. That was about a huge
red flag for me is when wespeak of something traumatic. Yeah, we

(55:05):
read that one. Uh protessco I'veheard of paramedics doing that to shock someone's
system and get them to commit togetting help. Yeah, I'm professionals.
Well, I don't agree with thattechnique because I would love to know how
many times paramedics have had to showback up and pull somebody out of that

(55:30):
bathtub after they've done that been sothe physical pain eases the emotional Sebbet thirteen
says pain to be able to pointat something and say that's why I'm hurting.

(55:53):
Yeah, yeah, that's a goodway to explain it. That that
craw a deep seated depression or anxiety. And you know the worst thing about
chronic depression or being bipolar and goingthrough those depressive episodes, especially when you

(56:15):
if you're not diagnosed, like ifyou have bipolar and you're not diagnosed,
but you've got this chemical imbalance,not knowing why you're depressed. Like everything
can be going absolutely amazing in yourlife, but for some reason, you're
just laying in bed wanting to goto sleep and never wake up, and

(56:39):
you don't know why because you canlook around and see that you know,
oh, I'm in a great relationship, Oh I got great friends, Oh
I got Why am I feeling thisway? Why am I feeling so sorry
for myself? Or you know,whatever the case is, And so you

(57:00):
self harm because at least have areason for that that you're feeling in that
moment, and it's trying to makerational out of the irrational. So X

(57:21):
thirteen. I can I've never beenone to self harm in the traditional ways
of cutting or that kind of thing, just but I've definitely participated in that
behavior in other ways. And Ican certainly relate to what you're saying there
that way of explaining it. AndFetish Artist says he's and he said this

(57:47):
is you were basically asking for help, mayfair referring to the guy in high
school. You're just wanting somebody toshow that they cared. Well, he
did show that he cared, justworded it piss poor. Thank god it
worked. I'll say it again,thank god it worked for me. But

(58:07):
I don't know that I would recommendthat particular. Had it not worked,
he would have probably been feeling prettyguilty, at least, i'd hope.
So, I mean, he's agood guy, I assume if he knew.
He's one of my friends who nolonger live in Tennessee from high school.

(58:29):
Oh goodness gracious. All right,So the article from the Cleveland Clinic,
we're probably not going to have timeto dive into all of this,
which is why it's not included inthe show notes, but the link is

(58:52):
there. Huh sorry, Oh no, no, that's both of us.
We just flew through that. Iwas excited about this topic because I really
think that this can help people.Again, this was not well, if
you've listened this long, then youknow already that I'm not trying to attack

(59:13):
anybody or call anybody out. Ireally and there's a couple of people that
I that we don't talk anymore,that I do love deeply that have some
of the possibly have some of thesetreatable issues. They definitely have characteristics of

(59:36):
them and I missed them, andI wish that they could get help for
these these issues, whether or notthey actually have these diagnosies. I'm not
a physician, I'm not a psychiatristor a psychology just I'm not a licensed

(01:00:00):
therapist. However, I do knowa few that are in the scene that
have said that there's a few peoplethat we know that do have these diagnosable
issues. Personally, It's not forme to say, but you know,

(01:00:23):
I just I just wish people wouldget help to live a happier life,
like even if we never speak again, that I get it. The pain
is there, But uh, Ijust I just really want to freaking help
people. So anyway, Uh,what I was saying about the article is

(01:00:44):
that I didn't think that we hadtime. But you can go to Cleveland
Clinic dot org and uh look upmanagement and treatment, prevention outlook and prognosis
and then complications treatment as well.But we can go over this some of
these. So I've got it pulledup to the management and treatment how is

(01:01:07):
historic personality disorder treated? And inmost cases, people with historic personality disorder
HPD don't believe their behaviors are problematicmost in most cases, so the vast
majority of these cases, they don'tsee it as a problem because everybody else

(01:01:30):
is the problem. It's the natureof the mental illness. They also tend
to exaggerate their feelings and dislike routine, which makes following treatment plans difficult.
However, they might seek help ifdepression, possibly associated with a loss or
a failed relationship, or another problemcaused by their thinking and behavior, causes

(01:01:52):
them distress. Psychotherapy and talk therapyis generally the treatment of choice for histrionic
or other person disorders. The goalof treatment is to help the person uncover
the motivations and fears associated with theirthoughts and behaviors and to help the person
learn to relate to others more positively. Now, in talking about borderline personal

(01:02:15):
disorder, we talked about uh CBT, not cock and ballt torture, but
cognitive behavioral therapy, and the preferredtherapy type for this one is a cognitive
behavioral therapy instead of the DBT.The dialectical behavioral therapy, though it DBT

(01:02:39):
certainly helps with this one as wellas a side therapeutic process to combine these
two is on into therapy. Afteryou've you've made some progress with CBT.
Combining cognitive behavioral therapy in dialectical behavioraltherapy is recognized as the best way to

(01:03:07):
treat histrionic personal and disorder. Butyou've got the group therapy. Of course,
group therapy allows a controlled setting wherepeople can call each other out.
When it comes to this type ofgroup therapy, that happens. That is

(01:03:28):
not the intent of it, butthat does happen, and therapists have to
calm that down quickly or chaos willensue because that is the nature of this
diagnosis. Psychodynamic psychotherapy say that fivetimes fast. This type of therapy focuses

(01:03:51):
on the psychological roots of emotional distress. Through self reflection and self examination,
the person undergoing therapy looks into problematicallylife relationship patterns in their life. Supportive
psychotherapy, of course, this isa type of therapy that aims to improve
symptoms and maintain, restore, andimprove self esteem and coping skills. This

(01:04:15):
is all about self esteem. Supportivepsychotherapy involves the examination of relationships and patterns
of emotional response and behavior. Mayfairare you on this website following yeah,
okay, all right? And thenof course, cognitive behavioral therapy. This
is a structured, goal oriented typeof therapy. A therapist or psychologist and

(01:04:39):
a psychologist is a PhD. Thatmeans that they have a doctorate a PhD
in psychology. A psychiatrist is amedical doctor. They have gone to med
school and their focus is the medicalintervention of psychological disorders. So people get

(01:05:02):
that confused all the time, andI always want to point that out.
But a therapist or psychologists helps youtake a close look at your thoughts and
emotions. You'll come to understand howyour thoughts affect your actions. Through cognitive
behavioral therapy, you can unlearned patternsof negative thoughts and behaviors and learn to

(01:05:25):
adopt healthier thinking patterns and habits.Now, there's a lot of work in
this. You can't just go totherapy that does absolutely nothing for a person.
If you don't do the work,you won't get anything out of it.
It's like anything in life. Ifyou want to have a successful business,

(01:05:49):
if you want to have a successfulrelationship, anything, if you want
to have successful children, you've gotto put the work in and do what
it takes to make this happen.And you know that's that's a common grip.

(01:06:12):
Well, that therapist sucks, thatdoctor sucks. They didn't fix me.
It's not their job. It's theirjob to guide you. But you
have to do the work. There'shomework and therapy. People don't realize that
their first time around are their firsttimes around. And as far as medication
goes, there's no medication that canperson that can treat a personality disorder.

(01:06:38):
There is medication for depression and anxiety, which people with historyonic personality disorder may
also have. Treating these conditions canmake it easier to treat history on personality
disorder. So there is no pillthat's gonna going to fix it. You
gotta do it all right. Preventionmayfairic can history on a person disorder be

(01:07:00):
prevented, while historyonic personality disorder generallycan't be prevented. Treatment can allow a
person who's prone to this condition tolearn more productive ways of dealing with triggering
behavior, thoughts and situations. Andhe left, Oh no, I didn't.
I'm here just hooking back. Tookyou out of the picture. Uh

(01:07:25):
yeah, for some reason, mysignal, it's showing that my signal keep
my internet, so don't keep droppingoff. I still haven't ran the thing
up through the ceiling. I justhaven't physically been able to. So.
Outlook and prognosis. What are thepossible complications of historyonic personality disorder? May
fair? Since I talked for along time and that was a short section.

(01:07:50):
People with historyonic personality disorder are athigher risk of developing depression and substance
use disorders, such as cannabis usedisorder and alcohol use disorder. I didn't
know we'd listed pot as a disorder. Now that's that's new. No,

(01:08:10):
it's been that way for a longtime. It's new to me. I
never knew that. Yeah, well, instead of abuse or addiction, they
say use disorder. But yes,people, they're there for a while,
a long while they were saying,well, you can't be addicted to marijuana,

(01:08:31):
and they found that's one of thethings that they found with the legalization
of it, because real studies canbe done and they found that, yes,
you can be addicted to to marijuana. But yeah, it is a
it is a disorder now instead ofwell, I mean, it's just under

(01:08:57):
a different name instead of it.It's still under addiction, but they've just
changed the name of it. Goahead. People with HPD are also more
likely to have somatic. Symptom disorderis a disorder in which individuals feel excessively
distressed about physical symptoms they have.They also have abnormal thoughts, feelings,

(01:09:21):
and behaviors in response to their symptoms. Yeah, so somatic or system or
symptomatic. Somebody who is exhibiting somaticbehavior as evidence by complaining about some kind

(01:09:42):
of physical element that they don't actuallyhave a hypochondriac. Yeah, I was
just thinking that describes a lot ofour people I talked to you network or
also elevating the situation, so youknow, I may say I'm I'm cleaning

(01:10:08):
my desk in this empty can fallson my arm and it, you know,
it hits in a way that itthat it actually kind of hurts,
even though you know that'd be weirdbecause it's empty, but it falls in
a way that it that it likehits a nerve or something, and it
kind of hurts. But I'm throwingit way out of proportion and going to

(01:10:29):
the hospital because this heavy can fellon my arm and broke it, you
know, blowing it, blowing itout of proportion and just carrying on and
on about it for days and weeksat a time. I had a call
that they had COVID for four weeksand they were starting to get over it
and the rib cage is hurt.It must be their heart. They need

(01:10:58):
to be seen immediately. Yeah,and for clarification those that don't know,
and Mayfairst said this before she worksin doctor's office, Yes, they have
to be seen immediately, their ribsbeing sourced to sign off they're having a
heart attack even though they've just beencoughing for four weeks with COVID. And
that is to my knowledge and correctif I'm wrong here, because I've never

(01:11:24):
worked in that area. But inCPR and first aid and every medical class
I've ever taken, I don't remembersore ribs being a sign of a cardiac
event, Am I right or wrong? You're right? Okay? I mean

(01:11:44):
unless you've had CPR, then yes, absolutely your ribs are going to fucking
hurt and chances are they going tobe broken. I mean we had the
one guy who was he coded threetimes on the way to the hospital and
a month later was like, I'mstill real sore. I don't know why.
So, but that's a that's athat's aftermath of every of CPR,

(01:12:08):
not of the heart attack itself,and that it would be a secondary symptom.
Yeah, it's amazing what people willturn into. Ye yet anyway,
panic attack attacks A panic attack causessudden, brief feeling so fear and strong

(01:12:29):
physical reaction in response to ordinary,non threatening situations. Uh. Like,
my very first panic attack was becausethere were people touching me at the aquarium
and they were small children, sothey had no idea, not the crowd
people, and I couldn't breathe.How old were you when was this cuesstimate?

(01:12:53):
I guess uh it was probably aroundthe same time the abuse started.
Oh, Okay, so I knowwhy you were a child, and you
were a child. Yeah, butthese were like kindergarten. It was like
a kindergarten field trip. So therewas they were just pushing and shoving and
screaming and loud and no, no, no, and yeah. My mom

(01:13:15):
ended up pushing me into a cornerand just literally leaned against me in the
corner and it was just her,so I was I was able to finally
breathe again. Yeah, I've seenthat happen many times when people try to
hug you or Oh no, I'venot hit that level in a long time.

(01:13:36):
Well, no, not to thatlevel. I don't think I've ever
seen that, but I don't know. Maybe I have pretty close pretty close
once once. I mean once Ialmost punched somebody into my house. I
ain't never met him, and theytried to grab me and hug me.

(01:13:58):
I don't fucking know. You don'ttouch me. Yeah, let me take
this next one. Conversion disorders andconversion disorders, also called functional neurological symptom
disorder, is a medical problem involvingthe loss of function of a part of

(01:14:24):
your nervous system, more specifically,your brain and body. Believe the part
of your nervous system isn't functioning whenthere's no evidence of structural damage. Yeah,
people with again these are people orpeople with the history and of personal
disorder are also more likely to havethese things. So the somatic symptom disorder,

(01:14:46):
panic attacks, and conversion disorders.So that's a fascinating thing. I
mean for the person going through it, it's not fascinating. It's scary as
hell. It's something that I don'trecall ever seeing personally, but it's just

(01:15:12):
one that's always fascinating me. Soyour brain, your body believe that a
part of your nervous system isn't functioningwhen there's no evidence of structural damage.
So ye, all of a sudden, you're paralyzed from the waist down and
you go get an MRI that showsthat there is no problem with your nervous

(01:15:36):
system. You're not paralyzed. Youknow Talladega Knights, the Ballad of Ricky
Bobby so Mayfair, is that oneof them that you've seen. I've seen
it, Okay, so you knowI've seen it. He's racing, he

(01:15:58):
has an accident, and then itshows him in the hospital and he's thinking
he's paralyzed and then somebody grabs aknife and stabs him in the leg.
So I definitely that's assault with adeadly weapon. I don't recommend doing that

(01:16:19):
to somebody, but that would bea very stereotypical, to my understanding,
a very stereotypical case of conversion disorder. We might have had one of those

(01:16:39):
not too long ago. They calledafter being taken to the er for a
follow up because they had total leftside impairment, and they did all the
stroke workers and stuff. There wasno evidence of stroke, and like when

(01:16:59):
they would lift the arm, itwould fall. Lift the arm, it
would fall. But then they putit over the patient's face and he stopped
it from hitting himself in the face. Yeah, that's a common test.
Couldn't couldn't control it until that moment, yep, I mean that might fall

(01:17:24):
into that. I don't know.Yeah, like when rick could Bobby gets
stabbed in the leg and he jumpsup out of the wheelchair. Why would
you do that? Look, Ricky, you're walking again. I know you
hate the movie. I think it'sfunny, all right. So another a
very weird hatred of Will Ferrell.I can't stand him. I'm sorry that's

(01:17:45):
okay. I feel the same wayabout norm McDonald may rest in peace.
What are the possible complications of herhistory and personal disorder? The last one
on this, what does that say? Extreme? Go ahead? Mayfair?
Oh, extreme attention seeking behavior andpeople with hPG may involve frequent suicidal threats

(01:18:13):
and gestures. Yeah, and againthat is different than self harming a cutter.
Just because somebody is a cutter doesn'tmean that they that there's they're experiencing
suicidal ideation, passive war active.There's a big difference there. Where it

(01:18:39):
goes into this personality this were iswhen it becomes an attention seeking behavior and
it's overemphasized as more than just selfharm. That's when the point where you
know, oh, everybody hates many, nobody loves me. Think I'll eat

(01:19:03):
a worm. You ever heard thatsong? Nope, Yeah, that's a
song. It's like, well,how attention seeking kumuli. It's about a
little boy or little girl that isbasically pissed off because they're not getting attention,
so they go dig up worm andstand in front of their mom or
dad or whatever and decides they're goingto eat the worm. It's absolutely adorable.

(01:19:30):
And disgusting. Yeah, so whatis the prognosis the outlook for someone
with history on and personality disorder.While there is no cure for it,
many people who have the condition oftenhave productive lives. People with HPD who
participate in talk therapy tend to havebetter outcomes as they gain insight into their

(01:19:55):
condition and function better in better sociallyor better in society. However, people
with severe HPD may experience frequent problemsat work and in social and or romantic
relationships. So there you go.That's the outlook, and I think that

(01:20:15):
it should continue to say there thatpeople with severe HPD may experience frequent problems
at work and in social and orromantic relationships. But those people that have
very severe HPD can make it nonsevere or nonexistent. You can change your

(01:20:43):
stars. Like, it doesn't haveto be that way. There's hope,
you don't have to feel that way. You don't have to have a terrible
self esteem. If you're willing toput the work in, there's there's things

(01:21:03):
out there. And if you don'thave money, people in some areas,
therapy costs two hundred dollars a session, like that's the average in some areas.
Other areas, it's seventy five toone hundred and fifty I think would
be the most common. But thereare nonprofits out there that charge is little,

(01:21:25):
is fifteen to twenty five dollars asession. Some of those have people
who sponsor clients that they never meet. They're just like, Okay, well,
I want to sponsor five clients amonth, and I can afford fifty

(01:21:50):
dollars for those five clients. SoI'll pay you two hundred fifty bucks a
month and you take on five clients, and you know, and they do
this for no recognition at all.But there's those places out there that will
do that, and to be frank, they don't even they don't have to

(01:22:12):
be kink related. Like a lotof times we talk about you know,
you can find kink friendly therapists,kink awear therapists and all that, but
when you're talking about this, it'smore important that they are are experienced in
treating these types of diagnosises. Thereare specialists out there that that are great

(01:22:41):
for this, and they may notbe the first one you find. Yeah,
the chances are they won't be unlessit's a referral, you know,
unless you've got a friend that thathas shared with you their issues and their
diagnosis, and you know that they'retherapist does this kind of stuff, this

(01:23:02):
kind of therapy. But there's helpout there, and that's that's again.
I know, this is like thefourth time I've said this, and the
tenth time in this series that I'vesaid this. While it does have kind
of an accused I've named I screwedup, and I named this something accusatory

(01:23:24):
and I shouldn't have done that.We're not putting anybody down. And obviously,
again, if you've made it thisfar, for sure an hour and
a half in, you know that, or you're doing it what they call
a hate listen, which we dohave a few of those, a few

(01:23:45):
people who hate listen. It's kindof kind of funny, Like I guess
we're just so in their head andthey hate us so much that they can't
help themselves from listening just so theycan be angry about what we say.
And if that doesn't sound like amental illness, I don't know what does.
Like they say in showpe is nopress is bad press, but a

(01:24:12):
note from the Cleveland Clinic at theend of this they say it's important to
remember that history onic personality disorder isa mental health condition. As with all
mental health conditions, seeking help assoon as symptoms appear can help decrease the
disruptions in your life. Mental healthprofessionals can offer treatment plans that can help

(01:24:32):
you manage your thoughts and behaviors.The family members of people with history on
and personality disorder often experience stress,depression, grief, and isolation. The
family members of people with history onand personality disorder, there are support groups
out there for people whose family membershave that. That's how destructive this can

(01:25:01):
be to a family unit or agroup of friends that there's support groups for
it, just like Gambler's anonymous andalcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, there are
support groups out there. Or whenit comes to like alcoholis nymous anonymous,

(01:25:23):
you got what alan on which isfor the families of alcoholics and their support
groups out there for the families ofpeople with these personality disorders. And I
highly recommend it, highly highly recommendit because nobody will know what you're going
through quite you know, like somebodywho is dealing with it in their family.

(01:25:45):
And it also helps you to pinpointareas where you may need help that
you don't realize that you need help. And I mean that in a very
positive way. So anyway, mentalhealth professionals can offer treatment plans that can

(01:26:09):
help you manage your thoughts and behaviors. The family members of people with history
and personality disorder often experience stress,depression, grief, and isolation. It's
important to take care of your mentalhealth and seek help if you're experiencing these
symptoms. So there you go.That does it. That wraps it up
for this series. I mean Icould continue on and do a few more

(01:26:30):
like narcissistic personal disorder and those typesof things. Let me know if you
guys actually scratch, we're not goingto get into those. I am going
to wrap up the series in twoweeks. We'll be doing an episode on

(01:26:54):
the top ten reasons not to joinyour local BDSM community. So yeah,
and then if you are not onfet life on February the fifth, which

(01:27:15):
is tomorrow, be Monday, Februarythe fifth of twenty twenty four. I
think I may have said twenty twentythree. I did say twenty twenty three
in the discord group. Let mechange that twenty twenty four, all right,
we will be having a very importantmonch on Discord. If you are

(01:27:41):
a Patreon producer and you are nota member of Discord, please get in
touch with me before nine pm Easterntomorrow so that you can be at the
munch. There's changes coming and anannouncement to be made, and I just

(01:28:05):
I would hope that everybody could showup and to answer any questions or anything
like that with some of these changes. May Mayfair and I will will both
be attending that of course, andyeah, so show up for that and

(01:28:29):
Mayfair. Any final thoughts that youwant to share about this or the entire
series that we've done. I justwant to see if you've been watching the
chat first. No, I knowthere's probably comments that I need to Were

(01:28:50):
there comments that you wanted to pointout? I was it? Sure if
you wanted to touch on it.The dark Triad No, uh no,
no dark triad. What that refersto is is the narcissist, uh the

(01:29:11):
histronic, the borderline is the callingat the dark triad is such a negative
way to look at it, andit's so accurate, like I understand it,
but yeah, uh no, notgoing to do that because I have

(01:29:36):
to get this other episode out ofthe way, and that'll make more sense
tomorrow. What comment are you talkingabout from miss em r Oh okay,
I didn't know if you wanted to, so, Mrs. My child one

(01:29:58):
day stopped talking and lost her abilityto walk. After a week, she
confided in writing to her older sisterthat her uncle uncle was grooming her and
she didn't know how to make himstop. Oh my god. Wow,
Yeah, that's a that's a that'sa that is definitely a physical reaction to

(01:30:25):
uh the psychological uh issues being forcedon someone. And that's what it is
like, It's not it's not justphysically forcing yourself on another person. People
get over the physical part. It'sa psychological part of the R word that

(01:30:46):
I mean, I know that's obvious, but I've I've actually met people that
don't understand that, they truly andI know people like, how could you
truly not understand that? Well?Excuse me? That actually gets into the
dark tride back cats is thrive himNatty Health m bdsm can can had a

(01:31:17):
session on self harm. It wasn'toh my god, don't do it from
what I can tell, Yeah,No, it's it's it's not just don't
do it. It's let's get tothe reason of why you do it,
and let's see if we can't helpyou deal with some of those issues.

(01:31:40):
It's what is commonly refer referred toas root core issues. Yeah, was
there anything else? Old fetish artistsdo allergies count as in appearing to be
allergic to almost anything but not showingsymptoms. Uh yes, and which can

(01:32:00):
lead to psychosomatic symptoms. There wasa song, a rock song years ago
that had psychosomatic in the lyrics.Oh god, what was that? The
same band that did Smack My BitchUp? And Prodigy anyway, And then

(01:32:24):
there was another group that did asong that had it and they come out
about the same time. But yeah, that's what I referred to with my
mom. My mom thinks she's allergicto anything and everything. We were talking
about something a couple of weeks ago, and she goes, Oh, maybe
that's my problem. Maybe I'm allergicto that. Maybe I need to cut
that out of my diet. AndI'm like, go see a doctor and

(01:32:45):
have an allergy test done. Don'tlike well, And people say, well,
I don't have celiac, I'm notallergic to gluten. I'm just or
thus, I don't have celiac.I'm just allergic to gluten. That's what
cilly X disease is, is agluten allergy. Now there's a there's a

(01:33:08):
gluten sensitivity, and there's a glutenallergy, and you know, all of
a sudden, the world is glutencrazy. Anyway. Sorry, that's a
whole other soap box that just drivesme absolutely batshit crazy. Yeah, Mayfair,
Did I just interrupt you? No, I totally lost train of thought.

(01:33:31):
Oh you asked me if you wantedto go over any of the comments.
Yeah, uh, one I thinkis Michaelvelian. It's a big problem.
Yeah, God, that's a wholethat's a long conversation. Back hat
it Friday Monch, there was discussionof cases of toxic people, some had

(01:33:53):
to be banned. I've had todeal with a couple of toxic people in
kink Uh, both I had thoughtof as friends and allies. One a
narc and one I think is aMachavellian. Okay, I got you.
Now, it's a big problem.Yeah, getting into to that toxicity,

(01:34:20):
that's really that's really where this becomesa problem. That's how it becomes predatory
and and all of that is,especially when it's people who know that they
have this, but they they stillattention becomes an addiction just like anything else

(01:34:41):
can. And so getting that attentionwith history on personality disorder is that's that's
just how it works. And it'stoxic behavior. It's absolutely toxic behavior.
Yeah, So anyway, I guessthat's going to wrap us up. So

(01:35:09):
I had to check check a textmake sure I didn't get any messages with
questions or comments that I wanted toor that I needed reading. Luckily,
I didn't get any today, SoI guess that's going to do it.
I'm wiped out. Got dinner tonight, first Monday of the month, so

(01:35:32):
we've got our little our first Sundayof the month. So we've got our
little little dinner at our Mexican spot. Yeah, Mayfair, thank you.
I know sometimes you think you don'tadd much, don't say much, but

(01:35:53):
when you do, it's always big. And you had a lot to talk
about add to this series. SoI just wanted to take them on to
acknowledge that publicly and and thank youfor uh for sharing so much of your
personal history as you have done.So that's going to do it for us.

(01:36:13):
Unless you've got anything else, onelast chance, find a therapist.
Everybody needs one. Yeah, yeah, I agree, best advice there is.
There's nobody on the planet that couldn'tget some value from the right therapy.

(01:36:40):
So all right, well this hasbeen Caldron and Mayfair coldronscript dot com
unearthed the truth. I have abody

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