Episode Transcript
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When the founders of Alpha Phi AlphaFraternity Incorporated, known as the Seven Jewels,
transformed their organization from a study clubto a fraternity on Tuesday, December
fourth, nineteen oh six, atCornell University, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Incorporated
became the first Black Greek lettered organization. Oh and, by the way,
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according to the New York Tribune,this date was recorded as the coldest December
fourth on record, with fierce twentyeight mile per hour winds sending hats flying
and plummeting temperatures to a bone chillingten degrees dat no soundsef at all.
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No, Seriously, they could havesaid, it's too cold, perhaps we
can do this another day. Butnot even treacherous winds or freezing temperatures could
deter the Jewels, because when youare relentless in your pursuit of greatness and
driven by the desire to be firstof all, servants of all and transcend
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all, nothing can stop you.I wonder if they knew how many lives
they would impact around the world.Could they have imagined that their organization would
not only endure for over a centurybut remain synonymous with excellence. On this
week's episode, to complete our CaribbeanAmerican Heritage Month and Men's Mental Health Awareness
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Month series. We are Talking toThings with Lucien Mattellos, the General President
elect of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Incorporated. As a fraternity's first Haitian American general
President, he embodies a rich tapestryof experiences and perspectives that uniquely position him
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to lead the fraternity. Lucian's storyis one of duality and resilience. Born
to Haitian parents and raised in Brooklyn, New York, Lucian's upbringing was a
blend of urban American life and therustic charm of his ancestral homeland, providing
him with a profound double consciousness.This concept, introduced by W. E.
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B. Du Bois, speaks tothe experience of possessing two cultural identities
and navigating the complexities that arise fromthem. His first hand experiences of both
American and Haitian cultures provide him withinsights that go way beyond academic knowledge,
grounding his leadership in real world empathyand understanding. He shares his vision for
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Alpha Phi Alpha, particularly his plansto prioritize mental health within the fraternity,
and emphasizes the importance of creating spaceswhere members can reflect on their emotions and
encourages mental wellbeing. Lucian's story isone of perseverance, cultural richness, and
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visionary leadership. December sixth seven,Jewels Face the Ice. Cornell's cold couldn't
freeze their sacrifice, manly deeds,scholarship, the Alpha's mission. So Lucian
looks towards the light to execute hisvision. What time is it? Showtime?
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Who am I with? An icecold? Brother in our in prime?
So join us on this ride aswe talk the things again, Lucian
mattell us here to lead, andI'll just pretend I couldn't have somebody on
here from Brooklyn and not show myrap skills. Now, I know that
sounded more like a nursery rhyme,but I'm working on it. I'm working
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on it. Grab your tea,coffee or a glass of wine and let's
talk the Things. Hello everyone,Welcome back to the Let's Talk the Things
podcast, where we discuss personal growth, travel, music and wellness while encouraging
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you to live fearlessly and fabulously.I am your host, Ash and this
week we are Talking the Things withthe thirty seventh General President elect of Alpha
Phi Alpha Fraternity Incorporated. Lucien Mattellos, Hi, Lucien, how are you
hi Ash today? I am well, thank you, thanks again so much
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for coming. Really excited to talkto you today. And for the first
part of the interview, we havea segment that everybody loves and it's called
datna sound safe? And being fromBrooklyn, I'm pretty sure you're familiar with
the patwa, right. So forthis segment, I'm going to read messages
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or social media posts that listeners sentin and if you think it sounds crazy
or a little bit concerning, ormaybe you just don't agree with it,
you would respond that sounds safe.You're gonna try your patoa hair right,
yes, and explain why. Andif you agree, you can just say
you agree and then explain why.Sounds good? Yep, all right.
(05:19):
So the first one sentence someone said, I once loved someone so much that
I tried to fix them while theywere breaking me. That that sounds safe?
Both yes, no, no,no, I should say no.
One. You can't pour into anybodyif you don't pour into yourself first and
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two men, yes, and twoyou know that's not what That's not what
God has intended for us. Weneed to love on ourselves first and then
we'll find someone that can that iscompatible with that love. It's not it's
not sacrifice. We all have tomake sacrifices, but not the sacrifice of
fundamental self. Yes, definitely,And I think you learn in life that
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you can't force that on somebody,you know, and it will end up,
like the person said, breaking you, because then that person might begin
to resent you or you know,feel as though you're pushing your feelings or
your wants and needs for them ontothem, you know. Oh yeah,
definitely that definitely no sound safe atall. Okay, So the next one
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growing up West Indian is singing anysong and having your parents or relatives say,
I hope you know your school worklike that. I agree, I
agree even today kids the same thing. See it's a cycle right indeed from
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my parents exactly exactly, like youcan't be you can't know any song and
not know your schoolwork like that's aproblem in any Caribbean household. Exactly exactly.
Okay. The next one, someoneasked what feels illegal but isn't,
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and the person answered, relaxing infront of your Caribbean mother at all You
got to always be on hire alert, hire alert at all times. Yes,
that's so true. It's like theminute they think you're too relaxed,
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it's like, why are you justsitting there like you don't have school work,
you don't have a book, youdon't you gotta have something to do.
You gotta have something to do.You can you can't sit there and
do nothing, absolutely not. Itdoesn't matter what time of day it is.
It's like there's just this thing acrossthe Caribbean among all the mothers.
I think they get a handbook.Yes, you cannot need to relaxed.
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It's just not allowed. Okay.The last two, the second to last
one. There are people assigned tobless you and people assigned to block you.
Use your discernment because they will bothbe smiling. I agree, and
I think I think for it,and I would offer you this. Sometimes
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both are necessary because the one,the one that's blocking you, may be
redirecting you to the blessing that you'resupposed to go to. But Lucy,
and you come to preach today,that was a word. That's a word.
I'm I'm just trying to do what'sright. That's true. But you
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know, I think that, andthen I think that as we as adults
and as we go through relationships inlife, we have to realize that people
are there for a season. Itdoesn't mean that there were bad people.
That means that, That means thatthey were there for a season, and
sometimes they prevented other things from ourlives to coming into place and guided us
to the right place. So Ialways tell people that boyfriend or that girlfriend
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that you don't you got you preparedfor the right person. So don't always
feel like the blocker is not ablessing. Sometimes it's a blessing in disguise.
But then there are those, butthen there are those that are intensely
trying to block you. Let's seeit for what it is. See it
for what it is so you don'tget confused and move forward right right,
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definitely, And you know, sometimesGod will do that for his stubborn children
that won't do it no matter howmany signs he sends right right. So
sometimes he'll have to make that happenbecause he realizes this person is not for
you, or this person is,as you said, you know, not
going to help you get to thatnext level, or maybe is going to
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keep you from getting to that nextlevel. And since you won't do it,
I'm going to make them do itfor you, you know, right?
Indeed? Definitely, Yeah, that'sso true. Okay. And the
final one, and it's kind ofrelated now that we talk that one through.
Sometimes God's blessings are not in whathe gives, but what he takes
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away. I agree, I agree. I always there are things that I
thought that I needed that God tookaway from me, and I'm better because
of it. I'm better because ofit. Absolutely. If God never promised
us a pain free life, buthe did promise us ever last in life.
So we have to go through thingsin order to appreciate where we are.
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Yeah, definitely. And you alwayshave to think, you know,
God sees things, and here's conversationsthat you don't, and so you could
wonder, you know, why amI losing this friend, Why am I
losing this partner? Why could youknow? How could they do this to
me? And you don't understand thatthe person that you know or you see
could not be the best person.And God is saying, oh, I'm
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seeing that this person is doing allthese things or involved in all these things.
No, no, no, I'mtaking them away from you know,
this person, Yeah, from youbecause I see down the line and it
doesn't look good, you know.Yeah, definitely agree. Okay, Well
that was fun. That part alwaysis. And as you know, or
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you may know, some people maynot know out there, it is Men's
Mental Health Awareness Month and Caribbean AmericanHeritage Month, so you get to celebrate
twice. That's amazing. So Ijust want to kind of talk about just
men's mental health and being Caribbean Americanand hold those kind of like intertwine.
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Right, But before we even getstarted on that, I have to congratulate
you at being named President elect ofAlpha Phi Alpha for Twoity, Incorporated.
So congratulations on that. Thank youso much. I appreciate it. I'm
welcome. And your presidency actually marksa significant milestone in the fraternity as you
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will become the fraternity's first Haitian AmericanGeneral President in January twenty twenty five.
Right, correct, correct? Thatis amazing, That is amazing. And
how would you say that you seeyour heritage really influencing your leadership style and
vision for the fraternity. Well,first of all, we have to from
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a leadership perspective, when you're leadingan organization of majority black men. Generally,
what you have to understand is thatthe African American experience is part of
the greater African diaspora, right,And what does that mean? That means
that I come not only with becauseI think you can appreciate this as well.
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Their inherent systems in the American landscapethat prevent, that prevent us or
push up against us as people ofcolor in this country. Whether you were
born here and when you're born here, you have a unique experience, right,
it's more systematic, or if you'retransferring from another country like the Caribbean,
like Africa and those other places whereour people exist, even Latin America,
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there's a level of transference. Right. So we have to think of
things as a global system. Right, So what's happening in Liberia that directly
or indirectly affects us in America,what happens in Haiti indirectly directly affects what's
going on in Canada. We asa fraternity, in my leadership, I'm
always going to think of things globally, right, absolutely, And I mean
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I think it's important because your fraternityis comprised of persons of all different backgrounds,
right, So correct your leadership stylehas to be inclusive of that.
But are there traditions or values thatwere instilled in you growing up as a
Haitian America and that you use orthat you go to in your leadership style.
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So I'm as most as most withIndian children are. You're taught to
work hard every day, and soI'm and too. Sometimes my detriment,
I'm an overworker, right, AndI think that that's the first thing that
you'll see is that I go hardtwenty four hours a day, seven days
a week for my people. Right. The other thing that I that I
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lean onto is part of my upbringingis my ability to do more with less,
all right, And I don't thinksometimes that's fully appreciated, the ability
to do more with less mean,And it's not it's not necessarily you know,
you and I had you and Ihave spoken Earl a while back.
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But you know, I grew upin Brownsville, then moved then I moved
to Queens and went to Springfolt GardensHigh School, you know, and those
experiences taught me that you don't alwaysneed a lot to make the to make
a situation or an environment successful.You just do creativity, right, that's
only its Caribbeans and even African Americansdo. Every day. We make more
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with less, right and yeah,abs, And in leadership, that's part
of my style is I look atsituations and I try to make more with
less and not necessarily try to domore with more. It's not always accessible.
So that's a good quality to have, especially when you're living in a
two bedroom apartment with your four cousins, your eight aunts and your two uncles,
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right right, Yeah, And that'sa very real thing for many immigrants,
even today. And I'm sure youknow back in the nineties, eighties
whenever it was even you know,more prevalent. No, definitely was.
And speaking of that, you know, growing up in Brooklyn. I've never
lived in New York, but I'vealways heard that Brooklyn is basically like the
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Caribbean. It is, right,So, and I will tell you this.
This might be news to some becausesometimes I try to tell people I
grew up in Bedstye, but somehowthey don't believe me. I don't know,
maybe I need to like work onmy street cred. But but growing
up in Brooklyn, especially in thenineties as a Haitian American must have been
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quite the experience, right, becauseit's like a melting pot. But you
have all these different cultures, andlike you said, you're intertwined with the
African American experience because once you cometo this country, you're seen as black.
You know, you're now American,you are assimilating. However, when
you go home, you're still withinyour Haitian culture, your Jamaican culture,
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whatever the case may be. Right, So, how do you think when
you reflect on that time of yourlife, how do you think that growing
up in that kind of environment notonly shaped your identity and values, but
can now play a role in howyou're able to relate and govern so many
brothers from so many different background SoI think I have a double double consciousness,
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right. So if we talk aboutif we talk about what double consciousness
looks like, I think it's actuallythe Caribbean American, the Caribbean American experience,
right. So I so I gotto see the institutionalized racism of the
nineties. Okay, remember I wasI remember that old. I saw the
O. J. Simpson trial,right, I saw I saw Rodney King
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get beat in the street in LosAngeles. I saw all that. I
saw all of those things. Iactually saw a police officer get shot in
my neighborhood. So so all thosethings help shape my experience in America.
Right. But then you then whenyou're going home and you're creating those traditional
values, right, you know,having having boy soop, having all these
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different kinds of experiences. You know, you know, we want these little
kinds of disciplinary things that you gothrough as a Caribbean child, all those
things help shape you know, yourplace as a child in that family structure
is very different than the typical typicaland I want to say typical maybe atypical
experience for most people. But whenyou're when you're going through that, that
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helps shape your dynamic perspective. BecauseI remember going back to Haiti in my
early years and living on a farmfor two to three months at a time
with the outhouse. Right. Soyeah, so all you know, having
a dog, the cow, achicken on the farm. But then coming
back and you know, growing upin the age of from learning how to
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type on a PC to the Internetthat we enjoy. Now, I've experienced
all those things. So what doesthat mean? That means that when I
leave I have not only the abilityto to understand the struggles of various people,
right, because I understand the institutionalizedracism of American I understand the poverty
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of our people in different countries,right, And we're always and when I
see things happen in America, Ican tie it back to when Baby Doc
left Haiti because Baby Doc was excloriatedfrom Haiti by the people. Because I
was maybe a child when that happened, But I remember that day like it
was yesterday, right, So thosethings helped shake me as a leader.
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Now, how does that shake meas a leader? One I talked about
earlier, the ability to connect fromAfrican American perspective about some of the issues
that we got. We have toaddress the issues of protecting black women in
all spaces, right, We've gotto address the issues. We got to
address the issues of black bail mentalhealth. Right. A lot of times,
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a lot of times what we especiallyas Caribbean men, but black men
in general, there's no I don'tsee any true line of delineation, but
black men in general in America,we have we've started to move closer to
mental health, mental health access,and mental health for our young people.
But it's really the middle age andolder people that need to get there.
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Right. Are younger people and I'mtalking younger. I'm saying twenty one and
younger are starting to accept those spaces. But it's really the middle age and
older Black men that have been trainedthat your emotional your emotional capacity is they're
relevant to your to your space asbeing the man right. And we've got
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in this mental health Awareness month.One thing that I campaigned on which will
continue to do, is because I'velost a lot of my own fraternity brothers,
brothers that are very close to tosuicide, it is important to me.
It is important to me that weaddress those mental health issues. Another
thing that health shape what I'm doingalso is investment in each and every brother,
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meaning that we need to spend timeand develop each and every person.
You What you realize the older youget is that every person does matter,
right because because you don't know whatthat person is going through, you don't
know what that person's experiencing at thattime, and they, you know,
sometimes they need a shoulder or someoneto talk to. And we need to
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create safe spaces for people to betheir vulnerable and authentic selves. A lot
of times being in the space ofbeing a Caribbean American. You code switch
a lot, right, You weara lot of masks. You wear a
lot of masks, right and shameunashamed, I say that I used to
wear a lot of masks until Igot to the point where I was comfortable
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with my authentic self and I hadto address it as my authentic self.
So I think those are the kindsof things that shape me. I want
people to come to me as theirauthentic self. You're unjudged when you come
to me as your authentic self becausethen I know how to work with you,
versus you put a mask on andI'm trying to figure out who you
really are. So many things Iwant to address that you said, it's
really something that I saw from myparents' generation. I would say, where
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when they came to this country.You know, Jamaicans, we speak an
English dialect, so that's a littledifferent than Haitians because you speak a dialect
of French. Right, So you'recoming having to learn another language essentially.
Right. And even though although myparents are Jamaica and my mom is British
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as well, so she speaks veryproperly, you know, very clearly and
I never understood when she would tryto like change how she's speaking or you
know, try to alter her tone, and she would explain to me that
people are saying they don't understand her, which to me is preposterous because she's
speaking the Queen's English, you know. So I definitely know that our parents
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generation had to do that, andthen if we're seeing that, then we
feel like, okay, well maybeI have to do that too again,
particularly persons in the diaspora that speaka whole nother language, whether it's Spanish
or French or a dialect of either, you know. And so, like
you said, we all get tothe point me included, where you just
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realize, you know, but I'mtired of shifting back from how I speak
when I speak to my family versushow I speak. I'm just going to
speak the same to everyone. AndI really pride myself on speaking exactly like
how I'm speaking to you, toeveryone and anyone. It doesn't matter if
I'm talking to the guy that picksup the garbage or you know, my
boss or anyone. I could betalking to the president, and I'm going
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to speak like how I speak.And what I realize is people appreciate that.
You know, people appreciate when youshow up as yourself because sometimes it
makes them ask you questions like,oh, you have an accent, or
you know, oh I noticed yourname. It's a little different, like
where is that from? And youstart to have conversation and then you can
talk about your culture and you canenlighten people because a lot of people have
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ignorant perceptions of Caribbean culture, right, and so you absolutely and so it
opens up the door for those conversations. And one of the other things you
brought up that I think is reallyimportant to address is how with in the
Caribbean culture. And I'm focusing onCaribbean culture because of the month obviously,
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but as you said, this appliesto any you know, agriculture within the
African diaspora, if you want tosay that. Right. So, mental
health is often stigmatized, particularly inCaribbean cultures. So how do you personally
prioritize mental health in your life?And what advice would you give to maybe
other men in the fraternity, becauseyou said, you know that's your goal,
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given the experiences you had with yourfriends unfortunately passing from suicide or dealing
with mental health. What advice wouldyou give to other men in the fraternity
who might be struggling with something likethat. So there's a few things that
I do personally. So I tried. I tried, and I had a
little bit of knee problems, soI had to take a little break.
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But I try to run every day. I try to run every day.
So now I'm getting back off thetreadmill and run, getting out on the
street and running again. Because youknow, the concrete is hard, but
it allows you to space to think. I think a lot of times,
there's a lot and I don't thinkwe even appreciate that. You appreciate this,
that you know, our young peopleget so inundated with so much information
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at a NonStop pace. Right.You got things on the phone, you
know, things on the internet.All this information is being constantly bombarded to
you. Right Whereas if you getinto a quiet space, that is that
is one thing I do for myself. Now that may not work for somebody
else, Right, there's something else, may be to sit around and listen
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to music or whatever that thing is. You need to create a space for
your mind to evaluate your feelings.Secondly, what we're going to try to
do is we're going to work onmaking therapy more accessible to the brothers.
Right, So, we, asthere are many good organizations that focus specifically
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on black mental health, we're goingto start working to partner with those organizations
typically provide opportunities for our brothers togo directly and get some mental health counseling.
I will, I will tell everybodyto the end of time. I
went to the best university for me. I love Syracuse University, but I
still experience some I still experience microaggressionsright on the racial level, right,
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I experience I experienced the the thethe deconstruction of black women voices in college,
right, I experience all of thosethings. And there were professors like
Janis made where saying will go womenlike that that helped me appreciate and understand
that I needed to be an advocatefor black women's and women that in my
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class as well, Like you know, those kinds of things helped set me,
help set me on my course.Right. So, I think the
other thing too, is that weas black men need to accept get more
access to interpersonal We need more blackmale therapists that understand in our plights.
So we need to create scholarship andopportunities and incentives. And finally, and
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this might surprise you, we actuallyneed to get more black male teachers at
the grade school level. Right atthe grade school level, I look at
a lot of young black male Iwas fortunate to have a black male teacher
in my grade school experience. ButI think that that's we take that for
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granted, right. We need alot more black males in those spaces,
and it will help the overall community, not just black and brown people,
but our Latino brothers and sisters,will help our white brothers and sisters because
that level of diversity will help increasetheir awareness and provide them the social and
economic support that they need as they'regrowing up. Right, And so I
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think that those are the three thingsthat we can do very intentionally, make
time and space for ourselves, seekprofessional therapy, and acknowledge spaces where our
people are that don't look like us. And finally making sure that there are
people as we're coming through the educationsystem that looks like us and has our
best interests at heart. No,definitely, I think those are all amazing
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steps to help combat mental health,particularly within black and brown communities. And
when you have a group of menthat come from various backgrounds, right,
And some may be coming with motherwounds, some may be coming with wounds
of growing up in a tumultuous environment, and just all kinds of wounds that
men have, and particularly black menthat maybe won't share that. You know,
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aside from having those spaces, doyou think there is room for brothers
to kind of make a space forthe persons in that particular chapter, for
example, to lean on, sowhereas they wouldn't have to go outside the
group. But maybe, and I'mcompletely making this up, but maybe like
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once a week everybody meets together andyou know, talks about any issues they
might have, or just something that'slike a space for them but that's accessible,
like right there, that doesn't requirethem to go outside of the organization.
Or is that something that already exists. It exists informally, but I
think that making it formal, makingit formal is an important component of that,
(29:15):
Right. I think we need towe as men and women especially right,
need to create those spaces and makethem intentional. And what you're talking
about is intentional engagement. And Ithink that that's what we need to do
as black women and black men,you know, Latino, Asian, white,
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anything. We need to be intentionalabout connecting in that way when you're
fostering a sense of brotherhood among men, both within fraternities like Alpha Phi Alpha
and just in the broader social context, do you think kind of think I
(30:00):
should phrase this? How do youthink that fostering that sense of brotherhood can
help combat the stigma around mental healthissues and encouragement to seek support that they
need, right, Because that's thething we you, especially as in your
capacity as a general president, You'renot going to be able to have one
on ones with every single person inyour organization, right, So it's like,
(30:25):
how do you encourage them to goto that brother that might be in
their chapter, or to go tosomeone, or to seek the resources that
you will provide to get that helpthat they need by providing real world experiences
of being vulnerable and using saltial mediaas a tool and using saltal media tool.
So it starts with me, right, So I should be in spaces
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where people are generally are retarded tonot necessarily x or formerly known as Twitter
because they can get a little roughin there, but share, share a
share a story on Instagram or shareor sure something on TikTok or Facebook where
you can have those conversations where you'resharing your vulnerable space, right because and
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you lead from the front. Ifyou can share your vulnerable space from the
front, then someone else was like, well, if they can do it,
I can do it. Right.You have to be the example of
what you want to see. AndI think that we have that. We
definitely have that opportunity to do that, and that is something that we can
push forward if we just say,hey, I'm pushing this, I'm pushing
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this idea and I'm going to makemyself the example versus well, we're waiting
for someone else to do it,and that's sometimes a problem that we have.
No. I love that, andI really am of the belief that
you can't be what you don't seeright, or you can't want to be
what you don't see. So Ilove that, you know, encouraging other
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brothers to say like, hey,you know, I went through the same
thing. And we had a coupleof brothers this month that spoke about that,
you know, naming specific others thatthey've gone to or that have helped
them through certain things. So,like you said, it is there informally,
and I really think under your leadership, based on what we spoke about
spoken about that it's something that Ithink is definitely going to improve. And
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I think that's so amazing because Ithink you're really going to help a lot
of people. No, and Iappreciate that, of course, of course,
and based on what you just said, I just thought of something else.
You know, you're governing a groupof men of different generations, right,
and we spoke about there's a previousgeneration that has one way of thinking,
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and then there's a younger generation thathas another way of thinking. So
how do you plan to maybe bridgethose gaps? Because that sounds like it
could be challenging. So what Ican say is, and I'll just throw
some names out here from people thatare younger than me that I've learned a
lot from. Oh, you know, Travis Nelson, Harold Daniels, the
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Third, Levara's Quasine Rab all theseyounger people, and I can go on
and on and on, a Nixon, you know, just a whole bunch
of younger men that have helped setme up on the past, because we
first of all, we have tobe open to the ideas of younger people,
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right, I want. I wantif a Blake, if a Tobias
Wilson or a Blake Startan comes tome and starts advising me on something I'm
completely ignorant about, I would havenot gotten on some of the social media
platforms I am on if it wasn'tfor younger people. How do we do?
But we also have to remember andwhen we are too, because you
and I were nineteen twenty twenty oneat one time, right, and we
(33:45):
all thought we knew exactly what weknew, right. And these old people
and these old people don't know whatthey're talking about, right, but what
we But what I've learned also isthe ability to advise through action, right.
And that's a very key component becausesometimes we tell younger people what to
(34:06):
do, but we don't we don'tmodel it for them, right. And
I think that I think one ofthe best compliments I got was from a
younger brother who said, I likeThe reason I like Brother Mattellus's leadership is
because he doesn't say anything about Godto me, but I know that he's
(34:28):
living the way God wants it tolive because of the way that he conducts
himself. Right. And that's theway you've got to do it. That's
the way you've got to do it. So to the older brothers, I
would say, not only give themthe advice, model the advice that you
want them to give that you wantto give them right, model it right,
because a lot of times I've gotto model it for them so they
(34:49):
understand it right. And then theother side of that too is as the
as the younger people when you giveadvice, don't give it as an absolute
to older people. Give it asfrom my experience. And here is where
I'm sitting today, because remember whenwe went to college, we didn't have
social media like that, right,and they understand things that we don't understand,
(35:10):
right, And so we've got tobe able to have two wave communication
relationships. And what does that looklike. That means intentionally building spaces where
we're having those two way communication relationshipsat are conventions, at our meetings,
wherever the brothers are gathered for thismulti generational interaction. Because there's power in
that. There's tremendous power in that, right, there's tremendous opportunity in that.
(35:34):
Right. We need the young people'syou know, we need the young
people's energy to create change. Butwe need the senior, more seasoned brothers
experience to help guide it. Sowe're not reinventing the wheel. It may
look like a different wheel, butit's the same wheel, and sometimes we
go about reinventing it definitely, Andyou know, you said something so key
(35:54):
and again, funnily enough, theseare all things that we brought up in
previous conversation, But your character reallymatters. And I think that sometimes,
especially when you're talking about a socialorganization, you know, a very popular,
well known organization, and particularly duringthe college time, one can think
that, you know, if Ijust tell people I'm a leader, I
(36:15):
have this position that people want tofollow me, and that's not the true
mark of a leader, right,Like you said, it's really in the
actions, and people are watching whoyou are more than who you say you
are. And I think that alot of times, even the older generation
can think, well, I dideverything for my child, you know,
(36:36):
I told my son right from wrong. I took them to church every morning
or every Sunday, and they shouldbe the best person ever. But if
your behavior doesn't model a person ofgood character, then that's what they're actually
going to follow. It doesn't matterwhat you say, you know, if
your behavior models something different, they'renot going to follow that. So if
(36:58):
your behavior was any different than whatyou said in speeches or anything like that,
I'm sure those persons would not lookto you as they do. So
that's a very very good point,right, And I think that that's where
we we can partner with each otherto be more successful by modeling it.
And we have to be intentional aboutmodeling it. And you have to model
(37:22):
it when when no one else islooking, or you think no one else
is looking, Yes, yeah,because then that's really who you are if
you think everybody's watching, right,And that's and that's the most important time,
right, brothers will tell you,right, it's not supporting black women
as that I hyperboleieve for me rightnow, I'll say it when there are
(37:42):
no women around, right, Andthat's when you should be saying it more
loudly, right, because it doesn'tbecome performative. And absolutely absolutely, because
I think a lot of times peopleconsider things performative because you're staying into the
crowd that is ready to hear that. Well, right, how do you
say it to a crowd that's noteven thinking about it? Right? That's
(38:04):
not performance, and so those areasthe spaces that we need to be extra
careful. And I would even challengeblack women. And it's not my position
to tell black women what to do, I want to be clear, but
I would even challenge black women.Whenever you hear negative, negative connotation of
black men in spaces that black menare not able to defend themselves, be
cognizant of that because that's an opportunity. Right. I'm not telling you what
(38:28):
to say or how to say it, but just to be cogniousant of it
because it's an opportunity. And Iknow black women do it a lot.
I'm not saying they don't. I'mjust saying that it's always an opportunity for
us to defend each other, andblack men need to step up and do
it much more than we have.But yes, definitely something we can do.
Absolutely, And like you said,it's more than just saying things,
whether it's you know, black womensupporting black men or black men supporting black
(38:52):
women, it's also how you're treatingthese persons, you know, like your
respect for them, and you know, especially with men, seeing if another
black man, another brother of yours, is disrespecting a woman to call them
out on that, you know,on that behavior, and same goes for
women, because that's how you createchange, that's how you minimize, you
(39:16):
know, violence even because lots oftimes persons are doing things and they're thinking
they're doing it because someone's going togive them a high five, or think
they're tough, or think they're cool. But if they do something and the
person that they're looking to impress issaying, like, man, what are
you doing? Like that's disrespectful,why would you do that? It takes
away the thrill that their ego getsfrom doing it, you know. So
(39:39):
sometimes even your actions can do helpwith that, and your inactions can cause
more damage. Right, Ah,that's true. Your silence, your silence
is just as deadly as your action, right, absolutely so. I think
for me it's inaction is not anoption. I had to learn that.
(40:00):
Don't want anyone sitting here saying thatI've always been like that. I had
to learn and grow into that.Than in the action and respect for women,
I had to grow into that,right. I didn't just have it
day one, Right, I alwaysrespected women, but I didn't but I
got a next level going to college, interactive being in relationships and you know,
being quote unquote the bad guy.Right. I had to learn.
(40:24):
I had to learn for myself.Hey, that's not acceptable. Hey,
this behavior hurt this person. Right. And you know, as much as
I try to take accountability for theperson I was back then, it's more
important that I make sure that theyoung men coming behind me aren't that same
person making those same kind of samekind of decisions. I'm far from perfect,
(40:47):
and I'm still God's still working onme. And sometimes I wonder,
you know, how much more work, how much more work I got to
do? But he keeps working onyou. But if but that's not a
bad thing, right, But Ithink, but I think we all not
we all, but a lot ofus because we have higher education, because
we have one or two or threedegrees, right, because we have because
(41:10):
we have a PhD, MBA orPA or a BA or PhD MBA,
a BA or or a BS.Right, we think that we have achieved
something and therefore we're beyond criticism,right, And the reality is that we
are actually the most to be Weare the ones to be most criticized.
Right. What are we doing toget back to our communities? What are
we doing to take care of ourbrothers and our sisters. What are we
(41:34):
doing, What are we doing toprotect black women, black children. That's
when the responsibility really rises, andthat's when we need to be most aware
of our criticisms. And so Iwould just say to every brother that I
mean brother in the Christ sense,any brother, any male that's under the
side of my voice, would acceptthe responsibility of protecting those that don't look
(41:57):
like us, that don't act likeus, right because we have we have
a privilege. There are different kindsof privileges, but we need to acknowledge
ours. And this is just metalking to you as as a woman.
I admire and support the things thatyou do and thank you and I want
to you know, and I wantto uplift you today and say that what
you're doing is helping shape shape thebest of us. And I truly appreciate
(42:22):
that. Oh, thank you somuch. You're not good dram a me
cry today, you know that,No, thank you so much. That's
so kind of you. You know, this is it's really a space that
I wanted to create for everyone,but particularly Caribbean men and women, just
(42:44):
a space to talk things through andto make people feel comfortable to share and
it really makes me feel good toget compliments like that because this is not
something that I'm doing for money oranything like that. It's something that I'm
doing to give back to my community. So I'm really appreciative of that,
and I appreciate you. But takeit from me. I know the struggles
(43:07):
of trying to move something along,so I know that you're doing a good
works and it's noticed and it's seemed. Thank you so much, Thank you
so much. And I will sayI've said it before this month, but
I'll say it again because we aretalking to the president elect here, so
it's a little different. But Ifor those of you that didn't hear that
(43:29):
episode where I mentioned it, Iam a Miss Black and Gold. I
used to say I was, butsomebody told me, I'm always a Miss
Black and She's always you always.You can't let it go, You can't
let it go. It was forthe IOSA Data chapter, So they have
a special place in my heart.And although you know a person's like Rasheen
(43:50):
and Reggie had already graduated, theyalways treat me with the utmost respect.
Peter. You know so many nowthat I think about it, so many
like Haitian American brothers that I knowand Jamaica and Chad, all these different
people, They've always treated me withthe utmost respect, and I really always
appreciated that, you know, Muto, so many people I could name,
(44:13):
and I just remember being in collegeand going with maybe even Pul and doing
some mentorship and just seeing what peoplewould you know, get from this fraternity,
like just being able to drop theirsons off and you know, have
their sons learn from other people.And I think me being there as a
(44:35):
college age woman and being there tonot only help with homework, but if
they just wanted to talk. Ijust think that you guys are doing amazing
work and under your leadership and gettingto know you and talking to you.
I just really I am proud foryou, and I think you're really going
to lead the fraternity in the rightdirection, and I appreciate that. Keep
me in your prayers most important.Absolutely, you know, can't move with
(45:00):
if God doesn't say move so ofcourse, of course, of course,
And I will say this last thingbefore we get to our final segment.
Some people might not know, butHaiti is actually celebrated as a first Black
led republic. So leadership is kindof in your blood, you know.
So I would just like to endwith how do you feel like? What
(45:22):
does that make you feel like?You know, being that you have this
place in history, it's a senseof pride. It's the first black independent
country in the world, celebrates itsindependence on every year on January first.
And it's not by accident, it'snot by accident that that pride flows through
our blood, right and it's nota pride of looking down on anybody else.
(45:45):
It's a pride of this is whatwe can accomplish across that as Iasthea,
and what I will say, andwhat I will say is a side
note before I forget, I wantedto not only thank you for being a
miss Black and Goal, but thankyou for being but for being the woman
that you are. I know thatdealing with Iota Zeta chapter. Their fiftieth
anniversary was this year, you know, a fiftieth anniversary, and you mentioned
(46:08):
a whole bunch of brothers there.Yeah, you know. And and before
we get to the final thingment,I'll leave you with a chuckle. Of
course. You know Reggie, youknow Reggie's Reggie is one of my people.
Rassian, you know, Raussian isone of my people as well.
And you know the the I thinkthat we're trying to get him to become
an honorary Haitian. We're working onhim right now. That's on me because
(46:31):
I want him to be an honoraryJamaica. So we're gonna see, I
have to work on that. We'regonna work together on that way. Okay,
that is hilarious. Oh, Ilove that. I love that.
Yeah, you guys are amazing,amazing. They're definitely like my other brothers
for sure, and you are nowin that group. I appreciate that.
(46:54):
I appreciate that, my sister.For our final segment, I'm going to
ask you five or seven. ActuallyI'm going to honor the jewels. I'm
going to answer you seven rapid firequestions, and I would like you to
answer with the first thing. Itcan be a word or a sentence that
(47:15):
comes to mind. Okay, allright. The first question is what have
you learned from your mother or grandmotherthat you still reference as an adult?
Read the Bible every day? Hmm, yes, yes, I support that.
One can't go wrong with that.Next question, what is one country
(47:37):
you haven't been to yet that youwould love to go to and why I
would love to go to Ethiopia.It is the it is the cradle of
Christianity. It's one of the cradlesof Christianity. It's one of the episentes
of intellectual thought, an experience forpeople across the globe, the place where
(48:00):
the Greeks got there and from Greekstarted their learning. So that is a
historical cradle point for our people.I love that. I love that answer.
Yeah, that's on my list too. I would love to go to
Ethiopia. Okay, next question,jerk, Chicken or Oxdale, who's making
it? Okay, tell me you'rea Caribbean without telling me you're a Caribbean.
(48:23):
I gonna say, I'm gonna saythe fact you asked that question is
so Caribbean of you. Good question. Nonetheless, Okay, what are you
most proud of and why? Mywife and my kids. My wife is
(48:44):
a superstar. My wife's a superstar, one of the most one of the
most amazing people I've ever met.And my kids are just the kids are.
My kids are the next generation.My son is I can ask for
a better son in terms of theman that he's becoming. And my daughter
is just so is on a rocketship for success, and I'm proud of
all three of them. Oh,I love that, beautiful, beautiful answer.
(49:07):
Okay, next question, name aBible verse that always brings you peace
or comfort. The Lord's Prayer.So the entire Lord's Prayer every day I
recite. So it's it's in Matthew. But it's not just one versus the
whole, it's the whole prayer.Love that. Love that. Second to
(49:30):
last question. Favorite thing about beingHaitian all the food. I just I'm
a foodie. I'm sorry, I'ma foodie. So you know, I'm
seeing a trend here. We hadOz from isis on here and he absolutely
is a foodie as well. SoI'm seeing a trend with alphas and food.
(49:51):
God is God is working. Godis working on you. But I'm
a foodie. I can't can't arguewith that answer. I love myself,
so I can't argue with that.And then the final question, if you
could talk to eighteen year old Lucianfrom the future so from today, what
would you say. Don't let yourfailures define you. Let them help define
(50:17):
what the future for you looks like, but don't let them define you.
Love that I love that brilliant,brilliant, brilliant, Well, Lucian,
I'm so sad. But that concludesthe episode, and I really want to
thank you so much for taking thetime to comment, talk the things with
me and to share your insights.And as I said, I'm really looking
(50:40):
forward to see what you're doing withthe organization. And I'm sure you know,
but I'll stay here. If youneed anything, or you know,
need me to help you with anythingor be involved in anything, please don't
hesitate to ask. And before wego, is there anything else that you
want to share? The last thingI will share is that be proud.
I'll be proud of your heritage,whatever that is. Be committed to the
(51:04):
people that you are around you,and more importantly, be committed to the
people that you don't know. Andfinally understand that no matter what, no
matter what you believe, is alwayssomething bigger than you. And if you
stay focused on that, you rememberhow great it is to be in this
space and this time, in thisworld, at this particular moment. I
love that, Bill, thank youfor having me. It's truly an honor
(51:24):
for me and a blessing for meto just spend this time, and I
want you to have a great andblessed week. And everyone on the side
of my voice, you've got allmy love, all my prayers, and
if no one else tells you today, I love you and God loves you too,