May 21, 2025 • 30 mins
Ever wonder if that feeling of being stuck or lost in midlife might actually be your greatest opportunity? In this eye-opening conversation with transformational coach Elisa, we discover why crisis moments—especially midlife transitions—can be powerful catalysts for profound personal transformation.Elisa, who joins us from Switzerland and speaks five languages, shares her own journey through multiple crises that ultimately led her to discover her purpose helping others navigate similar challenges. She offers a refreshing perspective: "If you're experiencing a crisis, it's good news," because these difficult moments serve as wake-up calls that can lead to authentic self-discovery and renewed purpose.We explore the fascinating differences between transformational coaching, therapy, and traditional life coaching. While therapy often addresses past trauma and mental health concerns, and life coaching tends to focus on specific goals and outcomes, transformational coaching creates space for deeper identity exploration when you're feeling stuck or sensing something needs to change but aren't sure what. This approach is particularly valuable during midlife when many of us question who we really are beyond our roles as parents, professionals, or partners.What makes Elisa's approach unique is her integration of psychological astrology—not for prediction, but as a powerful tool for understanding personality traits, strengths, blind spots, and even life purpose. Her explanation of elemental astrology and how our dominant elements (fire, water, earth, or air) influence our motivation and emotional needs offers surprising insights into what drives us and what might be missing when we feel depleted.Through her nine-week coaching program structured in three phases—depth, focus, and shift—Elisa guides clients from being deeply heard and understood to identifying limiting beliefs and ultimately implementing conscious change with new awareness and acceptance. Her emphasis on patience and the power of recognizing our internal dialogue offers practical wisdom that listeners can immediately apply.Ready to see your midlife crisis as an opportunity rather than a breakdown? Listen now and discover how to transform your challenges into stepping stones toward a more authentic and purposeful life. Visit Elisa's website using code LETS for 15% off her services and access her free quiz to understand your personal blockages.Source:https://www.elisatessan.com/To book a discovery call:https://www.elisatessan.com/discoveryUse code LETS for 15% off 1:1 Coaching Program
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Let's talk midlife crisis. I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy.
We're your go to hosts for all things midlife, menopause,
and moments of pure mayhem. And today we have Alisa
with us, who is a worldwide transformational coach coming to
(00:22):
us from Switzerland. Welcome Alisa, thank.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
You, thank you. I'm glad to be here with you. Guys.
It's an honor to be able to be a guest
in your show that I love so much. Thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
We're so happy to have you, so happy to have
you with us today. So tell us a little bit
about yourself and how you got into transformational coaching.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
So, yeah, as you said, I'm a transformational coach. I
support people who are going through crisis and made mostly
crisis and existential. Is mid life crisis a moment of
identity shifts or you know that those moments where you
don't know exactly something is off and you don't know
(01:10):
what needs to change, and you feel stuck, confused, you
don't know where to go and so you need you
need help in those moments. And why I ended up here,
I was one of them. I was a person going
through this same crisis, multiple crisis, not just one, because
there's not just one crisis in life. And so crisis
(01:34):
taught me a lot, brought me here, and now I
want to give back and help people who find themselves
in similar situations.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Wow, that's amazing, that's so amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
It's awesome.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
So I have a question, how because when I when
I'm in a situation like that, I was recently and
so I started going to therapy, which I know is
very different.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
How is that different from what you do? So that's
a good question. At the difference it's sometimes it's a
blurry line, it's not a clear cut, and sometimes you
can work. They go alongside. Some people do coaching paralialy
to that they're also in therapy because the focus is different.
(02:22):
So there are some fundamental differences. I would say three
really big differences. One is that coaches can't diagnose or
treatment mental health problems. So if someone someone is suffering
from depression or anxiety or.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
PTSD, coaching will not be the right help.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
We're not qualified to to treat people or help people
in those situations, and we can't diagnose, and so we
also deal less with trauma in general. And then we pass.
The second we move to the second question. The second
difference in general, coach coaching is more about the present
(03:10):
experience and bringing the client to a future development, bringing
the client to self actualization of what he wants to
be in the future. So there's a bit of a
forward movement rather than focus on the past and digging
(03:30):
into the past and the traumas and.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
What are the roots of the problems. Of course we discuss.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
That, but there's not we don't stay there. So it's
starting from the present moment and the present situation too,
and look ahead. How can we get unstuck from here?
How can we bring you further? What are the limiting
beliefs that are now present that we can solve so
(03:57):
that you can move forward. So there's this forward movement
and therapy instead looks at the past, so that resolves
the past so that you can function better in your
presence present.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
And so also, transformational coaching is completely different from life
coaching as well. Right as we talked about before, it's
it's it's different.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
And I would say it badges maybe therapy with life
coaching because life coaching sometimes it's about its personal goals, motivation, strategy,
bringing a new structure into your life. You want a
new witness routine, you can stick to it. I need
a coach to help me get motivated. You have goals,
(04:43):
and sometimes there are very tangible goals. It's about structures, development, motivation, optimization.
But sometimes it's not about goals. I would say that
transformational coaching is more about identity focused rather than outcome driven.
(05:04):
You have to reach a goal. Sometimes people when they
are in a crisis, they don't need it to do listed.
They need, oh, we have to focus on a goal.
They need space to reflect, pause, breathe, and sometimes so
much confusion that you can't just talk about a goal
or an outcome. It's not clear in that moment, and
so you need to go deeper than that.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
And so it's more.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
About literally emotional growth, but on a deeper level, it's
way deeper the analysis. Wow, So it's the topics are different,
but also the framework and the type of work we
do is different because it's more it's on a deeper level. Okay,
And what.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Led you to choose coach crisis and moving forward with
your life?
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I think you know life presents us with all sorts
of classes. I mean, you made a whole postic just
about the midlight crass, which is a huge one, but
it's just an incredible moment where we feel a lot
(06:17):
of pain and if we use that pain in a
constructive way, we can really transform our life. That's why
we talk about transformation or coaching. It's a real opportunity
to transform your life. And so that's why when you
land on my website, one of the first things you
see is if you're experiencing a crisis, it's a good
(06:39):
news and people rend us you have some ale together.
You Melisa and I get that, but it can be
good news because if we use the moment. It's because
it's a wake up go. It's a wake up go,
and sometimes we need certain things in our life needs
(07:00):
to get destroyed so that we can rebuild a new self.
And it's it's painful, it's hard, and that's why we
need help in those moments. But I think and people
A see clients are really it's a very a moment
where clients are honest and open. They're ready to shift
(07:21):
because there's so much pain. They just want to see
the light again. And also it's an incredible moment to
discover your life purpose because it's if you're Sometimes, if
you're happy, you just don't don't question why am I here?
You know, what's what's my life? Purpose? What's my mission? Life?
And when everything around you this is falling apart, you
(07:45):
starting yourself those existential questions and it's an amazing moment
for deeper reflection. And I like, and I love and
an honor to walk alongside my clients in these moments
because it's not it's not easy at all, and I
admire their courage to go deeper and.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Use their crisis to rise again. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
They say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. True.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah, And so you offer a nine week program and
the link to your website will be in our show notes,
so all of our listeners are able to access you.
And again, you're worldwide because our audience is really only
fifty percent based in the US and the other fifty
percent is globally. So I think it's important to note
(08:39):
that you speak five different languages. Wow, yeah, yeah, what
languages do you speak fluently?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I mean native Italian speaker, I'm Italian, so sexy sence,
I'm Speakinglish and German, Spanish and a bit of friends.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
I think that those are all sexy languages. I only
speak one. I speak a little bit Barquito Espanol. Most
of us, because we're a border state to Mexico, we
do have a little bit of Spanish. But that's I
just I'm frustrated with myself and our country that we
generally just most of us speak one language, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
So that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Now, we wanted to also talk about redefining the midlife crisis,
right since we are you know, that's what our podcast
is about, and we're midlife and which is why we
started it with us talking and our group of friends
and our experiences, sharing those and realizing how important it
(09:49):
was to have each other to lean on when we
were going through these types of things. But can you
help us redefine in midlife Christmas?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yeah, it's a little bit the same that I was
in before in general about crisis. We're not broken in
those moments. There's nothing wrong. It's not because it's a crisis,
there's something wrong with us. There's a bit of a
stigma about having a crisis, and midlife crisis is it's
a huge one. It's a moment where people redefine themselves
(10:25):
and you go through a lot and a lot of
things happen in those moments, and yeah, it's not a pathology.
It's all good. It's part of human development. We need
to see it as a wake up call and a
moment where of realignment to who we really are, and
up until the moment, maybe we have neglected those questions
(10:47):
that I was talking about before, and it's a great
moment for Yeah, for realignment. I would say, rather than
crisis is a wake up call, it called to yourself again,
so you're soul.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yes, one hundred percent. I agree. And I think also
that compiles to that is that perhaps if you've had children,
maybe now your children have grown and you know you're
just experiencing this whole new rebirth career change, but this
whole new rebirth to be because I know, for me personally,
I am Tracy.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
I'm the professional. I am Tracy, I am the mom.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
But if you take those things away, honestly, because I
had children so young and then again later in life,
I don't really know who Tracy is. Yeah, so that
makes a lot of sense, a lot of sense.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Do you can you maybe share your experience of crisis
or some examples of someones that you've had great success with.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Of my own press of clients. Either one either. If
you're willing to share yours, we'd love to hear it.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Of course, I am now forty.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Two, almost forty three, so I.
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Am in the middle of christ But I feel because
I'm a millennial, I think we have been like in
quarterlike crisis. Like my generation in particular has been an
undergoing crisis.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, but for me it's been a big on professional crisis.
It took me a long time to find my place
in the world professionally, but also find my spot in
the world. As I said before, I'm Italian, but I
lived eighteen years abroad, outside of my birth country and
(12:37):
literally where it's home and who am I in this
war where I don't know where home is? And also
I found for me it was difficult to feel that
I fit in. I worked in corporate I for a
for a while, I even for big tech, and it
(12:58):
was I burned out in bit tech.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Easy to do, that's easy to do.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I have a whole blog post on my on my
website about my personal crisis. It was a very very
difficult moment of my life, and in those moments, I
felt there was inside of me a calling. There's something
else I need to do. There's something else, There's something
more meaningful and purposeful than this, But I could not
(13:26):
understand what it was. Like I felt it has something
to do with helping people, but I was like I
kind of barely helped myself for people. I just can't
find Like there was confusion all around, like I was unrooted,
Like it was difficult. I didn't have a stiple relationship.
And I was already thirty already, I mean like thirty five.
(13:49):
But you know, like you feel that the pressure me
those targets and needs, like your society tells you thirty
five you need to have certain you're running out of time.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah, the clock is ticking.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Yeah, you're running out of already at thirty five.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
And then in mid like like later on even more,
like you you have this realization, Okay, I'm not I'm
not old, of course, but I'm not that young anymore,
and I want to use my time in a meaningful way.
And and so but for me, it started even like
in my like in my thirties already, and I couldn't.
(14:28):
It was I started suffering from anxiety, and I burnt
out and I had to resign my job without having
an alternative. Yeah. Now, I was moving from toxic relationship
to toxic relationship because of our resolved trauma. A lot
of like me name it.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Yeah, but I think we cannot relate to that at
some level, right, especially you know, toxic relationships and with email,
your your career, all of those types of things. Yeah. Yeah,
Oh gosh. Now, something that we had spoke about previously
that I really want to touch on what we have
(15:12):
you is astrology. Oh yes, so yeah, this is a
little bit new for us. We haven't Yeah, it's a
surprise for you. Yeah, let's talk a little bit more
about astrology. And as I had mentioned to you previously,
I'm in Aries, and I feel that whatever you read
about in Aries is very true to me. Right, so,
(15:38):
and I kind of I take it with a grain
of salt in your cancer. So let's talk a little
bit about astrology and how that intertwines into your transformational coaching.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah. I incorporate astrogey into my into my coaching, which
is unusual because a lot of people think astrology has
only to do with predictions and foresee the future, future
events and circumstances, and you know, like use planetary alignment
to understand what's going to happen, which is a.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
Part of astrology for sure, But in the.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Last century astrology has be used in a different way too,
because it's an amazing tool to understand personality traits, psychological traits,
your blind spots, your strengths, your life purpose, the right
career for you, literally, party lessons, even past lives. There
are parts of astrology that even like having set into
(16:36):
that it's literally an amazing tool to understand more about
yourself and it gives me, gives me, has given me
a lot of insights about me, better understanding who I am,
And I thought, yeah, I want to have this in
my toolbox and use my use it for my clients
(16:56):
to understand better themselves and about their blueprint. Literally it's
it's a cosmic blueprint, and it's it's and it's not
only about your sun's sign which is in your kids
areas and cancer and least cancer. It's that's your son's sign.
But it's it's broader than that. It's that's what's fascinating
(17:19):
because that's only a tiny fracture of what's your astrological
called birth chart or natal chart and it's basically the
moment you're born. If you take a picture of the sky,
you see the planets. Where are the planets.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
In their journey around the sun in that.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Very moment, and that gives you a unique, unique photograph
of you the very moment where you're born. And if
you take a.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Picture of the sky, that's your natal chart, and that's unique.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
And according to how.
Speaker 5 (17:53):
The planets aligns, COT and alliance.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
And and other actors like signs, houses and aspects, they
give you literally very complex and very deep picture of yourself.
And so I like doing that with my client. I'm
not because coaching is not. That's another difference with therapy
(18:21):
that I never the third difference, which is like a
therapist has more of the authority figure I am a
doctor and you're a patient. But in coaching there's not
that authority. I'm like you and we co create this space,
and there's no I'm not. I don't know more than you.
I don't know, and you actually know more than me
(18:45):
because the answers are inside you and I only hope
you get those answers out. I don't know the answers
you do, and so literally takes them the discrepancy in
the away of this authority versus like, how would you
say that? So, yeah, the relationship.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
The relationship is very different because when you're when you're
going to a coach, you're looking for guidance and you
know support, and when you go into.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
A therapist, you're looking for results.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Like you're like, like the tools to use to give you.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
A solution or answers will diagnose you. The coach is
literally your equal equality is the is the base of
the of the relationship. So when you talk about astrology,
it was tricky for me because I'm like, what if
they seek answers? It's like, can you because if you
know a language they don't know, and I know how
to decode the symbols and they don't know. How can
(19:49):
I just m not turning to the authority who knows
the asological language. You don't. So I interpret your chart
and I didn't want that. So I am literally like
an interpreter. Only I tell you the significance of the
symbol and then we dialogue about that. We brainstorm what
(20:10):
does that mean? What could that mean for you? If
I tell you that this planet is about assertiveness and
power and I don't know, initiative energy that initiates.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
Where does that manifest in your life?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Where do you see that in you?
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Because you have the energy, it's predominant, How.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
How does that manifest? And so it creates a base
for a conversation. But I'm only here to translated code
or a language. I'm not there to give answers or interpretations.
Speaker 7 (20:43):
So then how does what's the difference between like psychological
astrology and predictive So, like you said, you can look
at the map and translate that, but how is it
how is it different from like the actual psychological.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Like that make out of view you know, mm hmmm.
So basically, in the past astrology was used to predict
the future based on the transits of the planets in
the sky.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
And but now above all, also with with the influence
of viewing.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Cargostav Jung, the second.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Analyst and sorry, you're great, you're English is wonderful.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
That fell in love actually with astrology and and recognized
the power of the archetepal language and the symbols and
and and started like even studying it. And so in
the last century literally it has grown this this this
new use.
Speaker 8 (21:49):
Of astrology as a almost it's almost like a personality
test literally, or I can see that Yeah, I'm fire,
I'm like, I'm fire, I'm a leader, I'm you know
all these things and I know this, but I think
with knowing it, it helps me navigate life right mentally.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, So now, of course it's taken me my whole
life to be able to implement, you know, appropriate changes
now based upon that knowledge.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Right. It's interesting you mentioned fire twacy, because I think
elemental astrology is one of the things I love the most.
Literally analyzing the elements in a chart, how much fire
do you have, much water, earth, or airs a tremendous
insights about what lights you up, what drives you, and
(22:47):
what literally can lead to starvation, emotional starvation or motivation
if that element is not fed. Let's say, if you're
a fire sign and you don't feed that fire, you
can literally have depression. And I recently very very important
to recognize what is the driver in us? And so
(23:13):
the analysis of the elements is really it's worth the
hole part podcast. It's really interesting.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
So how can people work with you and how can
they find you?
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Now?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
We will have your website in our show notes, and
if you use the code, let's l A T S.
You can receive fifteen percent. Thank you for extending that
generous offer to our listeners. But tell us a little
bit more about how you know individuals can find you.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yes, I work one on one and my program is
nine week journey let's say, of one on one sessions
or nine sessions. I developed it with experience because at
the beginning used to be six and I noticed for
(24:08):
this level of transformation, for this level, for these situation
we talked about before, it requires more time. And so
if nine week program, let's say it's divided into three moments,
key moments. The first one it's it's called depth because
(24:29):
it's where people just need to be listened to. They
need to build a report with you.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
And they need to have like that space where they're.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Like, oh, finally someone is listening to me. I can
unpackle this and I can do.
Speaker 5 (24:43):
It without worrying about judgment, about.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
You know, about worrying the other person, and just literally
I barely say a word sometimes for the first three
sessions they need there's this release and explaining what is
the crisis about? And we go really, really really deep
on those three because I need to understand the world,
their inner world, and it's all about letting just release it.
(25:10):
And then we start working more actively on the second
in the second stage, which is called focus, and what
we focus on is emotions, thoughts. It's an observation, work
on what are the voices inside your head? What what
are they saying? What are the narratives?
Speaker 5 (25:30):
It's paradigm world, what are your beliefs?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Who told you that? Is it true? Believes?
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Narratives, and it's all all the things that our mind creates.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
And obviously the emotional part. And so it's we we
we focus literally on on everything that is going on.
So the first part is what is the situation, about
the consequence of the situation, what are the what are
the thoughts? What are your beliefs? And then the last part,
(26:03):
it's called a shift, and it's where we implement what
we have learned in the first two parts about yourself
to try to reframe, reshape and.
Speaker 9 (26:18):
Find new pathways, new tools to sustain you and make
the change you want to make, but in a supported
way with under it's a conscious change.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Okay, this is this is where my blockage is about.
This is my limiting belief.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
And it's it's a conscious process and.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
The last part is literally about grounding, about awareness, about
acceptance and building new pathways, and that's where the shift happens.
But it needs to be digested. It's not sudden, you know,
because you can have haham moments, but the implementation of
those moments it takes time. And that's why I always
say to my clients, we need patients. You need to
(26:57):
be patient with yourself because it takes it's time for
your system to digest these new awareness and so I
try to pour them in this with all this, Yeah,
it's interesting that you brought up what are the voices
in your head?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
What's the narrative that's going on, because that is just
like recognizing.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
That alone, like oh my gosh, I'm.
Speaker 7 (27:22):
Having these crazy thoughts and belief and it's affecting my
life in such a big way. And the minute you
recognize that and catch it when it happens, like no,
this is what you know and kind of.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Train yourself, it's amazing how much.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
That changes your attitude and the way you feel.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
And just on a day to day basis, it's huge,
incredible because we forget how much we talk to ourselves
with ourselves in a moment of crisis. Our mind is
extremely busy, and what is the tone we're using with ourselves?
Are we judging ourselves? Are we harsh on ourselves?
Speaker 5 (28:04):
What are you saying to ourselves?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
It's not possible and literally recognizing all the different voices.
Sometimes we name even.
Speaker 10 (28:14):
People talking the most supporting one, the harsh one, and
sometimes we name it and it's selpful.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
It's helpful to activate and the observer in you and say, okay,
this is because you know it's our mental chatter. But
if we have to tibet your observer, we create distance
and we can observe our thoughts without judgment. But it
gives us also tremendous insights about where our bockages are.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Right. This has been so amazing. Thank you so much
for being on our show again. You can find Alisa's
uh link to her website and if you use the
code let's l E t us. She is gracious enough
to offer our listeners a fifteen percent discount, And we
(29:06):
just really appreciate you being on the show and look
forward to touching base with you again in the future.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Oh, thank you guys, it's been amazing. Thank you for
giving me this opportunity to just speak with you, as
I told you the other day. For me, this is
an opportunity to let people know that if they're going
through a lot, they can there's help out there. And
for me, it's a way to make myself visible so
(29:37):
people know there is help. There is helps. So yeah,
here I am so visit my website. You will have
a discount. And also on my website there's a quiz.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
You can take a free quiz just to understand if you're.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Stuck, what's your blockage about? And then you can download
the printable book that I made just a about mental blockages.
And that's fun. If you want to have something free
on my website otherwise, book at this discovery cool with me.
(30:11):
I'm always happy to chat and.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
Learn about too and see if there's a way I
can help you.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I would be honored. And thank you for having on
this show. I loved it. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
And we love you too. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Well, that wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining
us on Let's Talk midlife Crisis. We hope you got
some laughs, a little inspiration, and maybe a few new ideas.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
If you've loved today's episode. Hit that subscribe button so
you'll never miss an episode, and hey, share the love.
Send this episode to a friend who could use a
good laugh and some midlife wisdom.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Connect with us on social media. Let's talk midlife crisis
and let us know what's on your mind. We love
hearing from you.
Welcome to Let's talk midlife crisis. I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy.
We're your go to hosts for all things midlife, menopause,
and moments of pure mayhem. And today we have Alisa
with us, who is a worldwide transformational coach coming to
(00:22):
us from Switzerland. Welcome Alisa, thank.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
You, thank you. I'm glad to be here with you. Guys.
It's an honor to be able to be a guest
in your show that I love so much. Thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
We're so happy to have you, so happy to have
you with us today. So tell us a little bit
about yourself and how you got into transformational coaching.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
So, yeah, as you said, I'm a transformational coach. I
support people who are going through crisis and made mostly
crisis and existential. Is mid life crisis a moment of
identity shifts or you know that those moments where you
don't know exactly something is off and you don't know
(01:10):
what needs to change, and you feel stuck, confused, you
don't know where to go and so you need you
need help in those moments. And why I ended up here,
I was one of them. I was a person going
through this same crisis, multiple crisis, not just one, because
there's not just one crisis in life. And so crisis
(01:34):
taught me a lot, brought me here, and now I
want to give back and help people who find themselves
in similar situations.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Wow, that's amazing, that's so amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
It's awesome.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
So I have a question, how because when I when
I'm in a situation like that, I was recently and
so I started going to therapy, which I know is
very different.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
How is that different from what you do? So that's
a good question. At the difference it's sometimes it's a
blurry line, it's not a clear cut, and sometimes you
can work. They go alongside. Some people do coaching paralialy
to that they're also in therapy because the focus is different.
(02:22):
So there are some fundamental differences. I would say three
really big differences. One is that coaches can't diagnose or
treatment mental health problems. So if someone someone is suffering
from depression or anxiety or.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
PTSD, coaching will not be the right help.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
We're not qualified to to treat people or help people
in those situations, and we can't diagnose, and so we
also deal less with trauma in general. And then we pass.
The second we move to the second question. The second
difference in general, coach coaching is more about the present
(03:10):
experience and bringing the client to a future development, bringing
the client to self actualization of what he wants to
be in the future. So there's a bit of a
forward movement rather than focus on the past and digging
(03:30):
into the past and the traumas and.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
What are the roots of the problems. Of course we discuss.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
That, but there's not we don't stay there. So it's
starting from the present moment and the present situation too,
and look ahead. How can we get unstuck from here?
How can we bring you further? What are the limiting
beliefs that are now present that we can solve so
(03:57):
that you can move forward. So there's this forward movement
and therapy instead looks at the past, so that resolves
the past so that you can function better in your
presence present.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
And so also, transformational coaching is completely different from life
coaching as well. Right as we talked about before, it's
it's it's different.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
And I would say it badges maybe therapy with life
coaching because life coaching sometimes it's about its personal goals, motivation, strategy,
bringing a new structure into your life. You want a
new witness routine, you can stick to it. I need
a coach to help me get motivated. You have goals,
(04:43):
and sometimes there are very tangible goals. It's about structures, development, motivation, optimization.
But sometimes it's not about goals. I would say that
transformational coaching is more about identity focused rather than outcome driven.
(05:04):
You have to reach a goal. Sometimes people when they
are in a crisis, they don't need it to do listed.
They need, oh, we have to focus on a goal.
They need space to reflect, pause, breathe, and sometimes so
much confusion that you can't just talk about a goal
or an outcome. It's not clear in that moment, and
so you need to go deeper than that.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
And so it's more.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
About literally emotional growth, but on a deeper level, it's
way deeper the analysis. Wow, So it's the topics are different,
but also the framework and the type of work we
do is different because it's more it's on a deeper level. Okay,
And what.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Led you to choose coach crisis and moving forward with
your life?
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I think you know life presents us with all sorts
of classes. I mean, you made a whole postic just
about the midlight crass, which is a huge one, but
it's just an incredible moment where we feel a lot
(06:17):
of pain and if we use that pain in a
constructive way, we can really transform our life. That's why
we talk about transformation or coaching. It's a real opportunity
to transform your life. And so that's why when you
land on my website, one of the first things you
see is if you're experiencing a crisis, it's a good
(06:39):
news and people rend us you have some ale together.
You Melisa and I get that, but it can be
good news because if we use the moment. It's because
it's a wake up go. It's a wake up go,
and sometimes we need certain things in our life needs
(07:00):
to get destroyed so that we can rebuild a new self.
And it's it's painful, it's hard, and that's why we
need help in those moments. But I think and people
A see clients are really it's a very a moment
where clients are honest and open. They're ready to shift
(07:21):
because there's so much pain. They just want to see
the light again. And also it's an incredible moment to
discover your life purpose because it's if you're Sometimes, if
you're happy, you just don't don't question why am I here?
You know, what's what's my life? Purpose? What's my mission? Life?
And when everything around you this is falling apart, you
(07:45):
starting yourself those existential questions and it's an amazing moment
for deeper reflection. And I like, and I love and
an honor to walk alongside my clients in these moments
because it's not it's not easy at all, and I
admire their courage to go deeper and.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Use their crisis to rise again. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
They say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. True.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah, And so you offer a nine week program and
the link to your website will be in our show notes,
so all of our listeners are able to access you.
And again, you're worldwide because our audience is really only
fifty percent based in the US and the other fifty
percent is globally. So I think it's important to note
(08:39):
that you speak five different languages. Wow, yeah, yeah, what
languages do you speak fluently?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I mean native Italian speaker, I'm Italian, so sexy sence,
I'm Speakinglish and German, Spanish and a bit of friends.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
I think that those are all sexy languages. I only
speak one. I speak a little bit Barquito Espanol. Most
of us, because we're a border state to Mexico, we
do have a little bit of Spanish. But that's I
just I'm frustrated with myself and our country that we
generally just most of us speak one language, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
So that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Now, we wanted to also talk about redefining the midlife crisis,
right since we are you know, that's what our podcast
is about, and we're midlife and which is why we
started it with us talking and our group of friends
and our experiences, sharing those and realizing how important it
(09:49):
was to have each other to lean on when we
were going through these types of things. But can you
help us redefine in midlife Christmas?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yeah, it's a little bit the same that I was
in before in general about crisis. We're not broken in
those moments. There's nothing wrong. It's not because it's a crisis,
there's something wrong with us. There's a bit of a
stigma about having a crisis, and midlife crisis is it's
a huge one. It's a moment where people redefine themselves
(10:25):
and you go through a lot and a lot of
things happen in those moments, and yeah, it's not a pathology.
It's all good. It's part of human development. We need
to see it as a wake up call and a
moment where of realignment to who we really are, and
up until the moment, maybe we have neglected those questions
(10:47):
that I was talking about before, and it's a great
moment for Yeah, for realignment. I would say, rather than
crisis is a wake up call, it called to yourself again,
so you're soul.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yes, one hundred percent. I agree. And I think also
that compiles to that is that perhaps if you've had children,
maybe now your children have grown and you know you're
just experiencing this whole new rebirth career change, but this
whole new rebirth to be because I know, for me personally,
I am Tracy.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
I'm the professional. I am Tracy, I am the mom.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
But if you take those things away, honestly, because I
had children so young and then again later in life,
I don't really know who Tracy is. Yeah, so that
makes a lot of sense, a lot of sense.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Do you can you maybe share your experience of crisis
or some examples of someones that you've had great success with.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Of my own press of clients. Either one either. If
you're willing to share yours, we'd love to hear it.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Of course, I am now forty.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Two, almost forty three, so I.
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Am in the middle of christ But I feel because
I'm a millennial, I think we have been like in
quarterlike crisis. Like my generation in particular has been an
undergoing crisis.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, but for me it's been a big on professional crisis.
It took me a long time to find my place
in the world professionally, but also find my spot in
the world. As I said before, I'm Italian, but I
lived eighteen years abroad, outside of my birth country and
(12:37):
literally where it's home and who am I in this
war where I don't know where home is? And also
I found for me it was difficult to feel that
I fit in. I worked in corporate I for a
for a while, I even for big tech, and it
(12:58):
was I burned out in bit tech.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Easy to do, that's easy to do.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I have a whole blog post on my on my
website about my personal crisis. It was a very very
difficult moment of my life, and in those moments, I
felt there was inside of me a calling. There's something
else I need to do. There's something else, There's something
more meaningful and purposeful than this, But I could not
(13:26):
understand what it was. Like I felt it has something
to do with helping people, but I was like I
kind of barely helped myself for people. I just can't
find Like there was confusion all around, like I was unrooted,
Like it was difficult. I didn't have a stiple relationship.
And I was already thirty already, I mean like thirty five.
(13:49):
But you know, like you feel that the pressure me
those targets and needs, like your society tells you thirty
five you need to have certain you're running out of time.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah, the clock is ticking.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Yeah, you're running out of already at thirty five.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
And then in mid like like later on even more,
like you you have this realization, Okay, I'm not I'm
not old, of course, but I'm not that young anymore,
and I want to use my time in a meaningful way.
And and so but for me, it started even like
in my like in my thirties already, and I couldn't.
(14:28):
It was I started suffering from anxiety, and I burnt
out and I had to resign my job without having
an alternative. Yeah. Now, I was moving from toxic relationship
to toxic relationship because of our resolved trauma. A lot
of like me name it.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Yeah, but I think we cannot relate to that at
some level, right, especially you know, toxic relationships and with email,
your your career, all of those types of things. Yeah. Yeah,
Oh gosh. Now, something that we had spoke about previously
that I really want to touch on what we have
(15:12):
you is astrology. Oh yes, so yeah, this is a
little bit new for us. We haven't Yeah, it's a
surprise for you. Yeah, let's talk a little bit more
about astrology. And as I had mentioned to you previously,
I'm in Aries, and I feel that whatever you read
about in Aries is very true to me. Right, so,
(15:38):
and I kind of I take it with a grain
of salt in your cancer. So let's talk a little
bit about astrology and how that intertwines into your transformational coaching.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah. I incorporate astrogey into my into my coaching, which
is unusual because a lot of people think astrology has
only to do with predictions and foresee the future, future
events and circumstances, and you know, like use planetary alignment
to understand what's going to happen, which is a.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
Part of astrology for sure, But in the.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Last century astrology has be used in a different way too,
because it's an amazing tool to understand personality traits, psychological traits,
your blind spots, your strengths, your life purpose, the right
career for you, literally, party lessons, even past lives. There
are parts of astrology that even like having set into
(16:36):
that it's literally an amazing tool to understand more about
yourself and it gives me, gives me, has given me
a lot of insights about me, better understanding who I am,
And I thought, yeah, I want to have this in
my toolbox and use my use it for my clients
(16:56):
to understand better themselves and about their blueprint. Literally it's
it's a cosmic blueprint, and it's it's and it's not
only about your sun's sign which is in your kids
areas and cancer and least cancer. It's that's your son's sign.
But it's it's broader than that. It's that's what's fascinating
(17:19):
because that's only a tiny fracture of what's your astrological
called birth chart or natal chart and it's basically the
moment you're born. If you take a picture of the sky,
you see the planets. Where are the planets.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
In their journey around the sun in that.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Very moment, and that gives you a unique, unique photograph
of you the very moment where you're born. And if
you take a.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Picture of the sky, that's your natal chart, and that's unique.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
And according to how.
Speaker 5 (17:53):
The planets aligns, COT and alliance.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
And and other actors like signs, houses and aspects, they
give you literally very complex and very deep picture of yourself.
And so I like doing that with my client. I'm
not because coaching is not. That's another difference with therapy
(18:21):
that I never the third difference, which is like a
therapist has more of the authority figure I am a
doctor and you're a patient. But in coaching there's not
that authority. I'm like you and we co create this space,
and there's no I'm not. I don't know more than you.
I don't know, and you actually know more than me
(18:45):
because the answers are inside you and I only hope
you get those answers out. I don't know the answers
you do, and so literally takes them the discrepancy in
the away of this authority versus like, how would you
say that? So, yeah, the relationship.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
The relationship is very different because when you're when you're
going to a coach, you're looking for guidance and you
know support, and when you go into.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
A therapist, you're looking for results.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Like you're like, like the tools to use to give you.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
A solution or answers will diagnose you. The coach is
literally your equal equality is the is the base of
the of the relationship. So when you talk about astrology,
it was tricky for me because I'm like, what if
they seek answers? It's like, can you because if you
know a language they don't know, and I know how
to decode the symbols and they don't know. How can
(19:49):
I just m not turning to the authority who knows
the asological language. You don't. So I interpret your chart
and I didn't want that. So I am literally like
an interpreter. Only I tell you the significance of the
symbol and then we dialogue about that. We brainstorm what
(20:10):
does that mean? What could that mean for you? If
I tell you that this planet is about assertiveness and
power and I don't know, initiative energy that initiates.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
Where does that manifest in your life?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Where do you see that in you?
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Because you have the energy, it's predominant, How.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
How does that manifest? And so it creates a base
for a conversation. But I'm only here to translated code
or a language. I'm not there to give answers or interpretations.
Speaker 7 (20:43):
So then how does what's the difference between like psychological
astrology and predictive So, like you said, you can look
at the map and translate that, but how is it
how is it different from like the actual psychological.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Like that make out of view you know, mm hmmm.
So basically, in the past astrology was used to predict
the future based on the transits of the planets in
the sky.
Speaker 5 (21:14):
And but now above all, also with with the influence
of viewing.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Cargostav Jung, the second.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Analyst and sorry, you're great, you're English is wonderful.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
That fell in love actually with astrology and and recognized
the power of the archetepal language and the symbols and
and and started like even studying it. And so in
the last century literally it has grown this this this
new use.
Speaker 8 (21:49):
Of astrology as a almost it's almost like a personality
test literally, or I can see that Yeah, I'm fire,
I'm like, I'm fire, I'm a leader, I'm you know
all these things and I know this, but I think
with knowing it, it helps me navigate life right mentally.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, So now, of course it's taken me my whole
life to be able to implement, you know, appropriate changes
now based upon that knowledge.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Right. It's interesting you mentioned fire twacy, because I think
elemental astrology is one of the things I love the most.
Literally analyzing the elements in a chart, how much fire
do you have, much water, earth, or airs a tremendous
insights about what lights you up, what drives you, and
(22:47):
what literally can lead to starvation, emotional starvation or motivation
if that element is not fed. Let's say, if you're
a fire sign and you don't feed that fire, you
can literally have depression. And I recently very very important
to recognize what is the driver in us? And so
(23:13):
the analysis of the elements is really it's worth the
hole part podcast. It's really interesting.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
So how can people work with you and how can
they find you?
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Now?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
We will have your website in our show notes, and
if you use the code, let's l A T S.
You can receive fifteen percent. Thank you for extending that
generous offer to our listeners. But tell us a little
bit more about how you know individuals can find you.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yes, I work one on one and my program is
nine week journey let's say, of one on one sessions
or nine sessions. I developed it with experience because at
the beginning used to be six and I noticed for
(24:08):
this level of transformation, for this level, for these situation
we talked about before, it requires more time. And so
if nine week program, let's say it's divided into three moments,
key moments. The first one it's it's called depth because
(24:29):
it's where people just need to be listened to. They
need to build a report with you.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
And they need to have like that space where they're.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Like, oh, finally someone is listening to me. I can
unpackle this and I can do.
Speaker 5 (24:43):
It without worrying about judgment, about.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
You know, about worrying the other person, and just literally
I barely say a word sometimes for the first three
sessions they need there's this release and explaining what is
the crisis about? And we go really, really really deep
on those three because I need to understand the world,
their inner world, and it's all about letting just release it.
(25:10):
And then we start working more actively on the second
in the second stage, which is called focus, and what
we focus on is emotions, thoughts. It's an observation, work
on what are the voices inside your head? What what
are they saying? What are the narratives?
Speaker 5 (25:30):
It's paradigm world, what are your beliefs?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Who told you that? Is it true? Believes?
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Narratives, and it's all all the things that our mind creates.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
And obviously the emotional part. And so it's we we
we focus literally on on everything that is going on.
So the first part is what is the situation, about
the consequence of the situation, what are the what are
the thoughts? What are your beliefs? And then the last part,
(26:03):
it's called a shift, and it's where we implement what
we have learned in the first two parts about yourself
to try to reframe, reshape and.
Speaker 9 (26:18):
Find new pathways, new tools to sustain you and make
the change you want to make, but in a supported
way with under it's a conscious change.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Okay, this is this is where my blockage is about.
This is my limiting belief.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
And it's it's a conscious process and.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
The last part is literally about grounding, about awareness, about
acceptance and building new pathways, and that's where the shift happens.
But it needs to be digested. It's not sudden, you know,
because you can have haham moments, but the implementation of
those moments it takes time. And that's why I always
say to my clients, we need patients. You need to
(26:57):
be patient with yourself because it takes it's time for
your system to digest these new awareness and so I
try to pour them in this with all this, Yeah,
it's interesting that you brought up what are the voices
in your head?
Speaker 1 (27:14):
What's the narrative that's going on, because that is just
like recognizing.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
That alone, like oh my gosh, I'm.
Speaker 7 (27:22):
Having these crazy thoughts and belief and it's affecting my
life in such a big way. And the minute you
recognize that and catch it when it happens, like no,
this is what you know and kind of.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Train yourself, it's amazing how much.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
That changes your attitude and the way you feel.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
And just on a day to day basis, it's huge,
incredible because we forget how much we talk to ourselves
with ourselves in a moment of crisis. Our mind is
extremely busy, and what is the tone we're using with ourselves?
Are we judging ourselves? Are we harsh on ourselves?
Speaker 5 (28:04):
What are you saying to ourselves?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
It's not possible and literally recognizing all the different voices.
Sometimes we name even.
Speaker 10 (28:14):
People talking the most supporting one, the harsh one, and
sometimes we name it and it's selpful.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
It's helpful to activate and the observer in you and say, okay,
this is because you know it's our mental chatter. But
if we have to tibet your observer, we create distance
and we can observe our thoughts without judgment. But it
gives us also tremendous insights about where our bockages are.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Right. This has been so amazing. Thank you so much
for being on our show again. You can find Alisa's
uh link to her website and if you use the
code let's l E t us. She is gracious enough
to offer our listeners a fifteen percent discount, And we
(29:06):
just really appreciate you being on the show and look
forward to touching base with you again in the future.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Oh, thank you guys, it's been amazing. Thank you for
giving me this opportunity to just speak with you, as
I told you the other day. For me, this is
an opportunity to let people know that if they're going
through a lot, they can there's help out there. And
for me, it's a way to make myself visible so
(29:37):
people know there is help. There is helps. So yeah,
here I am so visit my website. You will have
a discount. And also on my website there's a quiz.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
You can take a free quiz just to understand if you're.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Stuck, what's your blockage about? And then you can download
the printable book that I made just a about mental blockages.
And that's fun. If you want to have something free
on my website otherwise, book at this discovery cool with me.
(30:11):
I'm always happy to chat and.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
Learn about too and see if there's a way I
can help you.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I would be honored. And thank you for having on
this show. I loved it. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
And we love you too. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Well, that wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining
us on Let's Talk midlife Crisis. We hope you got
some laughs, a little inspiration, and maybe a few new ideas.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
If you've loved today's episode. Hit that subscribe button so
you'll never miss an episode, and hey, share the love.
Send this episode to a friend who could use a
good laugh and some midlife wisdom.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Connect with us on social media. Let's talk midlife crisis
and let us know what's on your mind. We love
hearing from you.
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