May 19, 2025 • 28 mins
Midlife often presents unexpected challenges, igniting feelings of uncertainty, especially for women navigating the transition. Join hosts Ashley and Traci as they engage with Karla Joy, a certified life coach, to unravel the complexities of self-care and personal growth. In this episode, we discuss the significance of prioritizing our well-being, debunking the myth that self-care is selfish. Karla opens up about her journey into life coaching, explaining how women in their 40s and beyond can benefit from her empowering approach.
Explore the impact of mindset on our daily lives, as Karla shares actionable insights on transforming negative beliefs into routes of self-empowerment. By implementing self-care strategies and working towards tangible goals, listeners will find clarity and encouragement to prioritize their aspirations.
Whether you seek to regain your identity, navigate changes, or simply learn to love yourself again, this conversation is filled with inspiration and practical advice to help you thrive. Don’t miss this opportunity to reimagine your path and ignite a healthier and happier you. Tap into Karla's resources, and be ready to embrace the joyful journey ahead! Wouldn’t you agree that it’s time to take that first step?
https://beautybykarlajoy.com/Use code JOY20 for 20% off
Thanks for listening! Follow us on our social channels
https://www.youtube.com/@Letstalkmidlifecrisis-mh2bf/videos
https://www.instagram.com/letstalkmidlifecrisis/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091451734861
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/let-s-talk-midlife-crisis-podcast--6627644/support.
Explore the impact of mindset on our daily lives, as Karla shares actionable insights on transforming negative beliefs into routes of self-empowerment. By implementing self-care strategies and working towards tangible goals, listeners will find clarity and encouragement to prioritize their aspirations.
Whether you seek to regain your identity, navigate changes, or simply learn to love yourself again, this conversation is filled with inspiration and practical advice to help you thrive. Don’t miss this opportunity to reimagine your path and ignite a healthier and happier you. Tap into Karla's resources, and be ready to embrace the joyful journey ahead! Wouldn’t you agree that it’s time to take that first step?
https://beautybykarlajoy.com/Use code JOY20 for 20% off
Thanks for listening! Follow us on our social channels
https://www.youtube.com/@Letstalkmidlifecrisis-mh2bf/videos
https://www.instagram.com/letstalkmidlifecrisis/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091451734861
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/let-s-talk-midlife-crisis-podcast--6627644/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Let's Talk midlife Crisis. I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy.
We're your go to hosts for all things midlife, menopause
and moments of pure mayhem. Whether you're navigating hot flashes,
chasing new passions, or just trying to remember why you
walked into a room.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
We've got you. Every week, we bring you tips, real
life stories, and expert advice to help you laugh, learn,
and thrive through this midlife wild journey. And today we
have a special guest, Carla Joy.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Welcome, Carla. It's so great to have you.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Thank you so much. It's great to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Oh well, let's see. I am a wife, I am
a dog mom of two, they're my whole world. And
I am also a coach. I have a couple of
technically two different all my businesses, however, they kind of
(01:03):
come together as one and that's what takes up most
of my time. But in what spare time I have,
I am an avid runner. I am someone who is
always looking and researching and basically taking in anything health
wellness coaching that I possibly can. It's just what I
(01:27):
love and what I look forward to. Every single day.
So that's that's kind of me in a nutshell awesome.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, so tell us a little bit about the coaching.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
You have a website and so people they go to
your website and are they do they sign up for something?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
How does that work?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
So I do have a website, so I offer I
do free coaching. I do online events that are live,
I do a podcast, I have free guides for care
things like that. But I also offer actual life coaching
packages that people can sign up for all different levels.
(02:06):
If someone wants to commit to thirty days or sixty days,
or six months or even a year, there's different options
for them to do that based on their budget, their goals,
what they're really trying to do. I even offer like
just single power hours if you're just kind of needing,
you know, maybe it's just I need to brain dump,
I need to get started on something I don't know
(02:28):
how to start, or if you just want to know,
like what can I get from life coaching? You know,
people don't know what we do right, So a power
hour is a good session for that also to see
if if you're a good fit with your coach. So
power hours are going to use for that too, so
there's lots of different avenues for life coaching, types of
(02:49):
life coaching, and all of that is kind of right
there on my website broken down for you.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
And the website is Beauty by Carla Joy, which we'll
put in that show notes, and if they wanted to
reach out to you or sign up, they can go
there directly to contact you initially.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Absolutely there. There's actually a contact me button that you
can click on. You can find my email there. There's
also I'm at Beauty by Karla Joy on every social
media as well, so if you are someone who is
you know on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, my tag is
still at Beauty by Karla Joy, so you can find
(03:27):
me any of those places personal message, so whatever you know,
medium you're comfortable with, I can pretty much be found there.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Great, fabulous, and You're coaching helps clients with achieving goals,
building confidence, staying motivated, changing their mindset, just a wide
variety of things. And I believe that in today's day
and age that there's a lot of anxiety out there
(03:55):
as well, so I would like to think that you
would be able to help them with, you know, breaking
through barriers or practicing self care and tackling those hurdles.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Almost like a therapist, is very very closely related. Really
the main difference between a therapist and a life coach.
A therapist tends to help you work through your past,
whereas a life coach helps you build your future. Okay,
so that's kind of where we differ. I will tell
you that my set is the core of it all.
(04:30):
And I actually never was like I'm going to be
a life coach. I fell into it because of my
beauty and wellness business. I was doing consultations with women's skincare, makeup,
things like that. And I've started to see an underlying
trend with women where either they were having a life
change of some kind, maybe their kids are grown now,
(04:53):
they're recently divorced, and they're like, I want to feel
good again. I've lost my identity, I don't know who
I am, or they were struggling with feeling guilty. Practicing
self care. Taking time to do their makeup or skincare
was time away that they were taking from their family
(05:13):
or their loved ones, and there was a sense of
guilt going on. And I started to really see that
all of these things were all tying together in that mindset,
and I wanted to be able to help more than
just skincare and makeup. I wanted to help on a
deeper level, and that's where I decided to go get
my life coaching degree. And then I actually decided to
get layers of certification because you can specialize in self care, confidence,
(05:37):
breaking through barriers, empowerment. So I went the full skill. Wow,
I just got every certification I could because I wanted
to be able to help in as many avenues as
I could. And that led to also being an accountability
coach because I realized that sometimes we're great at saying things,
but it's really hard to stick with things. Creating new
(05:58):
habits is tough because mindset comes into play. So coaching
is all of those things, right, It's not usually just
one or the other. It's usually more complex, for sure.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
And you're is the demographic mainly middle aged women? Or
I'm sure you do and over? Okay, Yeah, forty and
over is.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Pretty much ninety percent of my clients, right, Women who
are forty and over? Yeah, I mean it's all the
way into their seventies as well, though.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Wow, yeah, I mean that's We've talked about that a
lot on our show. That's the time in your life
where you do struggle with a lot of the things
you were talking about, you know, taking time for yourself
and not feeling guilty about it, setting you know, boundaries
and and helping other people understand that you need that
(06:49):
too so that you can be there for them.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
You know, Yes, and when you're forty and over, you
honestly need it more than ever because now you're going
through life changes as well, physically or more drained, and
you know, all the hormonal changes that we do, you know,
deal with as a fording and upper woman, you need
even more self care. You need to be more in
tune with your mind and your body to battle those
(07:14):
things and to navigate that part of life in the
most graceful way that we can and the most enjoyable
way that we can. And having all those tools to
do that makes a huge difference, and that can change
a very tumultuous time in our life into something that
can actually be rewarding and you know, making the best
event right.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
That's you know.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Something that I work with women on as well.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yeah, do you have have you ever had a client
that you know, like was like your biggest success or
was most empowering to you that you learned from or
anything like that. I mean, obviously we don't need to
name names, but sure, yeah, I have.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
So many incredible experiences going into this. I had no idea,
idea the impact that I could have. And I mean
I've managed to impact people I didn't even know. I
wasn't packing. They weren't even direct clients that come to
me and say things like I've been watching your lives
and your tutorials and these things for the last six
months while I was getting chemo treatments and it took
(08:18):
the pain away. It took my mind off of the pain,
and now I'm cancer free. And I had no idea
I was part of that journey with them. And I mean,
it's incredibly rewarding to hear something like that. Oh I'm sure, Eve,
I packed at somebody on such an amazing level. But
all the time I have clients that we do graduations.
(08:40):
If you do my higher, my longer packages I do
where we actually have a celebration lunch and you know
virtual thing and you know this whole celebration when you
reach your goals. Because so I have helped so many
women hit goals whether it was I want a new profession,
so I helped them step by step. Okay, let's talk resume,
(09:01):
let's talk interview skills, you know, things like that. Or
it might be a weight loss journey or a nutrition goal.
You know, at forty a lot of times we get
blood tests back that we're like wait what, yeah, what
does that mean? What? You know?
Speaker 5 (09:14):
But and working with a nutritionist is great, but having
in a life coach, having that accountability, that check in,
that someone that's doing the journey with you can make
all the difference.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
In fact, they say that nine there's a ninety five
percent chance of you achieving your goals if you have
a coach along the way. Wow, that's huge. Yeah, So
you know, having that support system. Support systems are incredible,
especially when they're outside of your normal like home right
(09:48):
on someone you know, not having the biases, someone who
is coming from outside in that can give you you know, honest,
you know, untampered with opinions, and have that check in
with you on a regular basis. It really can be helpful.
So yeah, I've seen women hit those weight loss goals
and just cry to me and say, I feel like
(10:08):
myself again, I have energy it's amazing to see a
woman who maybe wasn't smiling that much on our first
call to now they're crying with joy transformed. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, that's got to be very rewarding. I'm sure right,
it is fantastic.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Best decision I ever made was to be It was
to become a life wow for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well, and I would think that that would help you
yourself personally as well in finding your purpose in life. Because,
if I'm not mistaken, you have a full time job
in addition to this.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Correct, Oh wow, I do, Yes, I do. Oh my goodness.
I'm a bit of a workaholic, so sometimes I have
to take my own coaching advice and remember to pencil
in that self care in that downtime. I am a
full time project manager, so it is work from home,
(11:05):
so I work my business in other pockets of time.
Thankfully I have the opportunity of flexibility. I'm slowly working
my way to making my business my full time job,
but for three years I've managed both. So something I
also coach and is time management and time blocking and
things like that. Because I know that if I can
(11:28):
do this, I can make all this work, then I
know you guys can hit your goals too. I know
that it's pile. You just have to have the right
plan and that's where it really all starts.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And know where to start. Yeah, and know where to start.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
That's the hardest part. Hardest part is getting started. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I struggle myself with time management at my full time job,
and blocking out focused time on my calendar is probably
one of the greatest things that I do personally to
help manage my time and priorities at work. I'm sure
there's a lot of other tips and tricks that I
(12:08):
could utilize in order to better manage my time, and
I feel that when I do that, I'm better at
my job.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
H Absolutely better organized.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, I'm more organized. I don't feel overwhelmed as much. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Well, in a lot of times that just boils down
to self care and I always start, no matter what
I'm working with a client on. Self care is at
the core because you have to keep your tank full.
You absolutely have to. Your self care cup has to
be full, especially if you are struggling with who you are,
(12:43):
your identity, you're trying to make a change, you're trying
to create new habits. You got to have a full tank.
You're gonna need guests in the tank to get there right.
So what I'll often tell women that sometimes struggle with
the guilt too right spelled scheduling time for themselves feels
selfish to them. But what I often I try to
change the mindset because when you think about it, if
(13:05):
your cup is full, you're actually going to be a
better mom, a better wife, a better employee, a better
friend because you're going to be present in the moments.
You're not going to be thinking about how tired you are,
what your to do list is, or whatever it is
that's going on. You're not going to be irritable and
cranky and snappy because we've all done it and we've
(13:27):
all felt bad about it. And that's your signal of
your body and your mind telling you that your cup
is drank right, and if you keep it full, you're
going to function better and you're going to perform better
everywhere in your life, including those goals that you want
to work on. So self care is step one no
matter what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Goal wise, and that will also help with staying motivated,
which I find that I'm sometimes on a roller coaster.
I'm very motivated one day, but then the next day
not so much. And just you know that EBB and
flow if you are so, and.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
That can tie into like reward systems. You know, acts
of self care can be part of your reward system
for every like you know, you hit a goal, you
can add in an extra self care. So you want
to have your base self care that you're doing every day.
The minimum of five minutes a day is what I
always tell everyone. Five minutes of your day is minimum.
I mean, that's like the bottom of the barrel though,
(14:28):
but you want to build from there. Obviously, you want
to you know, do as much as you can, but
five minutes minimum and that can make more of a
difference than we realize. And a good place to start. Yeah,
it's all going to add up. Place to start absolutely, Yes,
baby steps, yes.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
And what are some of the things that you recommend
in that five minutes to do? Is it like meditation?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
We have five minutes And I will tell you I
actually have a free hundred plus self care guide activity guide,
and it's broke down for you. If you have five minutes,
here's like twenty five examples. If you have fifteen minutes,
here's examples. If you have thirty minutes, to an hour.
It's there for you too. It's a great resource because
a lot of times we do struggle with like what
do I do in time? And I will tell you
(15:14):
that self care is going to be different from to everyone. Yeah,
I'm gonna enjoy a thing that you may not. You're
going to enjoy something I may not. But I always
try some things see what works out. But what matters
is what do you look forward to? What is actually
bringing you joy? That is your self care. Regardless of
(15:39):
what it is. As long as it's something that's not
detrimental to your health or you know, something like that.
As long as it's bringing you joy and you're looking
forward to it, that is self care. So from break
it down to like you said, to your point, how
much time do I have?
Speaker 6 (15:53):
Yeah, it can be as simple as put a blanket
in the dryer for two minutes to get it a
little wrapping yourself into a burrito form and looking at
a wall for five minutes.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Wow, okay, that.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Is self care. It is time with yourself. As someone
who lives in a very cold environment, right now, I
appreciate myself burrito times. It's very rewarding, right, But even
something that simple maybe you're like I just I don't
even have that time right now. I don't even have
that time. Okay, are you gonna take a shower today?
(16:28):
Likely most of us are, so maybe you utilize your
shower time. Do you have a favorite body scrub, a
favorite hair mask? Buy one of those little like scalp
scrubbers on Amazon for five dollars, Do a little hair mask,
massage it in, turn on the you know, turn down
the lights, turn up some music, light a candle while
you're already in there, and turn it into a self
(16:51):
care spa five minutes of you time, even if the
kids are knocking at the door, whatever's going on, the cat,
scratch the door, whatever, that is your you time. And
that's something with moms especially right we really work on
getting the most out of your showers, baths, things like that,
because you may not have a lot of time to add,
(17:13):
but you are at least doing those things. So let's
see how we can make it feel like a retreat.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I use a eucalyptus spray in my shower.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Okay, that's my zen.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Wow, that's a good one.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I like that. That's an amazing way to practice self care.
It gives you time to be present with that and
not with everything else going on. Really, self care is
just what's distracting you, what's making you, like, just feel
like you're in that moment, having fun doing it, and
you're not worrying about your to do list or what's
happening on Wednesday or you know, things like that. That's
what self cares for, is to decompress and get your
(17:47):
mind off of the things.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Wonderful, that's amazing. Five minutes we can do that for me.
It's building those habits that you mentioned earlier. Even though
I mentioned I use the eucalyptus spray, it never really
associated in my mind that that.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Was part of self care, right.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, so yeah, and that's an easy one.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And see now when you do it, you can be
more mindful, right, maybe to do it a little longer,
think about it a little more, breathe it in a
little deeper, right, Like, really appreciate those moments that you
have instead of just doing them because they've got to
get off the checklist. Right. It's just becoming a habit.
(18:29):
It needs to be something where you're really realizing the
value that you're getting from.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
It, right. And I also am a type of person
that I feel like I always need something to look
forward to, a trip, a vacation, something large scale in
my world to look forward to, and without that, I
just feel sometimes spiraling, if.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
You will, or yeah, just going through life, you know,
day by day.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah, And this year I wanted to take a trip
to Greece. That was my goal out of the gate
that I've been having all of these issues at home
with major appliances that need to be replaced, and so
now I've replaced a washing machine and just and so
every time that happens, I'm like struggling to not let
(19:23):
it poke holes at my goal of going to Greece
this year, and it's like, you know what, don't give up.
It's still early. You know, there's a lot of time
left in order for you to have that trip that
you're looking forward to. But yeah, it's funny with me,
I definitely have.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
To have that. Yeah, I'm the same way. I think
most people are too. We all need something that we're
working towards. That's why goals are so rewarding because they
do give you that purpose, that motivation, that the reason
to get out of bed every day other than our
normal day to day to life that break from the normal,
(20:00):
whatever it is, even if your goal is not a trip,
maybe if your goal is to work a job that
gives you more flexible schedule and you're just figuring out
how to get there, or maybe it's a new car,
or if like it could be a new outfit. It
could be anything, but that's what's helping you get out
of head every day and get you excited about the
things you're working towards. And that's honestly one of the
(20:22):
reasons when I'm working with people with goals too, Like
we always talk about find your why, why do you
want this goal? And we create vision boards and goal mapping,
And I'm actually going to be releasing very soon my
first couple of webinars where we're literally going to build
vision boards and do goal mapping in a webinar, because
I have realized people don't make vision boards and it's
(20:45):
very very easy to lose track of why you're doing
something if it is not visually present in front of
you every single day. If it's out of sight, it
is out of my mind. So you know, if you're
working towards the weight loss, go on my put a
picture of whatever trip or bathing suit you want to
wear on your refrigerator front and center, so that's going
(21:09):
to be your why so vision boards and visual things
are huge. And if you ever really get to know
me and my coaching and all of my podcasts, I
am a post it note queen. I preach post it
notes like like it's going like I mean, I should
be like partnered with the post it note, Brandy, because
they are so powerful. They really they're wonderful little tools
(21:33):
that we really are there just underrated. Be yeah, I agree,
very cheap tool to have in your pocket.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yes, yeah, I have a drawer.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
All over. Yeah, I've got them all now in all
the shapes, stars and hearts and color. Might as well
make them pretty right right right now?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
How would you go about helping someone change their mindset?
I'm curious to know because I found that certain things
that are happening and going on in the world today,
especially in America, I'm filled with negativity and anxiety to
extremes of myself of what I know that I generally,
(22:15):
you know, am built and comprised of, but I'm struggling
changing my mindset in some of those things. Being positive,
being positive and just pushing out those negative thoughts, And
I was just wondering if you had any you know,
insight tips for individuals to help change their mindset.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
So mindset change is literally rewiring your brain. It's the
same as creating any other habit I mean very simply put,
neuroplasticity is the scientific word for that. Our brain can
be changed, but it does take practice, right, It's not
(22:54):
going to happen with one thing. It's something you have
to work on all the time. Now, if your mindset,
like you said, maybe it's a negative thing. Maybe it's
you're not good at saying kind things to yourself, which
a lot of us struggle with that. We don't how
often do you look in a mirror and say nice things?
(23:15):
When do you point out the nice things?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Right?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Probably not as often as you point out the things
you want to change, right. And that's where we have
to decide, Hey, where is the mindset going? What is
it we're trying to reprogram and that's going to mean okay,
so we're going to take the opposite of that. So
if you're worried about something like a scenario, maybe let's
go with the opposite scenario, the best case scenario, and
(23:40):
let's practice being in that scenario, or practice that word instead.
Instead of I think I'm ugly, how about I am beautiful? Wow?
Or if you think you're a failure, how about I
am successful. So take that polar opposite and you're going
to practice it. You're going to create morning mantras again.
Post it notes one of my biggest things I tell
(24:02):
my ladies. Take three post it notes. Write down whatever
it is you want to become true. You want to
start believing. Whether you believe it or not, It doesn't
matter whether you think you're successful or whatever, doesn't matter.
You're going to write on there I am successful. And
you're going to put them in three different places that
you see every single day. Wow, kitchen, bathroom, office, right
(24:24):
on your laptop, make it your phone background if you
need to. If you don't want to do post it right.
I having those around make a difference. And I always say,
when you read them, say them out loud if you can.
I know sometimes if you're at work, that could be awkward,
but try to say them out loud as many times
as you can, and in front of a mirror is
(24:46):
even more powerful.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Okay. I don't spend a lot of time in front
of the mirror. Never have, but especially these days, it
just doesn't to me justice. We have talked about probably
at least one or two shows, I think on manif Festation,
about vision boards, about journaling. I am a big believer
in Manifestation, and I think it was funny one of
(25:09):
our shows. I had this little notebook that was on
my nightstand and I used to write things in it
all the time. And this was about a decade ago,
and we were doing our show on Manifestation, and I
knew I had that somewhere because my daughter says, I'm
a hoarder, but I'm not. I am a pack rat,
(25:31):
but I knew that I wouldn't have gotten rid of it.
And I found it, and when I read it ten
years later, again, it's just a laundry list on a
notepad of things that I was so shocked at how
many of those things had I manifest you accomplished and
I accomplished, and the things that came true. And one
(25:52):
of them, which was a trip to Italy that I
had taken recently to our show.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
But now it's been a couple of.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Years, I didn't even remember wanting that or writing it down,
and when I saw it, I couldn't believe it and
I had to show Ashley. I was like, oh my gosh,
you're never gonna believe what was on my list. So again,
I'm a big believer in manifestation and appreciate your tips
on helping change mindset and all of the things that
(26:22):
you have that you're able to assist people with with coaching.
And we're so happy, Carla Joy to have you on
our show today. Thank you so much. And if you'd
like to reach out to Carla Joy and find out
more about her life coaching, please go to Beauty by
Carlajoy dot com and again that'll be in our show notes.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Thank you, Carla, and thank you so much for having me.
And I will leave you with my favorite quote is
going to be It's only a dream unless you write
it down, then it becomes a goal.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Ooh, I like that.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
It's only a dream. You gotta write it down.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Okay, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I would love yeah, And if you're ever interested, anybody,
come to the website. I'm always happy to answer any
questions and I will be doing a special with my
life coaching packages just for the listeners of this podcast.
You can use codejoy twenty for twenty percent off and
I'll leave that running for a limited time.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Awesome, perfect, Thank you so much, so much. Well, that
wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining us on
Let's Talk Midlife Crisis. We hope you got some laughs,
a little inspiration, and maybe a few new ideas.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
If you've loved today's episode, hit that subscribe button so
you'll never miss an episode, and hey, share the love.
Send this episode to a friend who could use a
good laugh and some midlife wisdom.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Connect with us on social media Let's talk midlife Crisis
and let us know what's on your mind. We love
hearing from you.
Welcome to Let's Talk midlife Crisis. I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy.
We're your go to hosts for all things midlife, menopause
and moments of pure mayhem. Whether you're navigating hot flashes,
chasing new passions, or just trying to remember why you
walked into a room.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
We've got you. Every week, we bring you tips, real
life stories, and expert advice to help you laugh, learn,
and thrive through this midlife wild journey. And today we
have a special guest, Carla Joy.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Welcome, Carla. It's so great to have you.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Thank you so much. It's great to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Oh well, let's see. I am a wife, I am
a dog mom of two, they're my whole world. And
I am also a coach. I have a couple of
technically two different all my businesses, however, they kind of
(01:03):
come together as one and that's what takes up most
of my time. But in what spare time I have,
I am an avid runner. I am someone who is
always looking and researching and basically taking in anything health
wellness coaching that I possibly can. It's just what I
(01:27):
love and what I look forward to. Every single day.
So that's that's kind of me in a nutshell awesome.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, so tell us a little bit about the coaching.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
You have a website and so people they go to
your website and are they do they sign up for something?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
How does that work?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
So I do have a website, so I offer I
do free coaching. I do online events that are live,
I do a podcast, I have free guides for care
things like that. But I also offer actual life coaching
packages that people can sign up for all different levels.
(02:06):
If someone wants to commit to thirty days or sixty days,
or six months or even a year, there's different options
for them to do that based on their budget, their goals,
what they're really trying to do. I even offer like
just single power hours if you're just kind of needing,
you know, maybe it's just I need to brain dump,
I need to get started on something I don't know
(02:28):
how to start, or if you just want to know,
like what can I get from life coaching? You know,
people don't know what we do right, So a power
hour is a good session for that also to see
if if you're a good fit with your coach. So
power hours are going to use for that too, so
there's lots of different avenues for life coaching, types of
(02:49):
life coaching, and all of that is kind of right
there on my website broken down for you.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
And the website is Beauty by Carla Joy, which we'll
put in that show notes, and if they wanted to
reach out to you or sign up, they can go
there directly to contact you initially.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Absolutely there. There's actually a contact me button that you
can click on. You can find my email there. There's
also I'm at Beauty by Karla Joy on every social
media as well, so if you are someone who is
you know on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, my tag is
still at Beauty by Karla Joy, so you can find
(03:27):
me any of those places personal message, so whatever you know,
medium you're comfortable with, I can pretty much be found there.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Great, fabulous, and You're coaching helps clients with achieving goals,
building confidence, staying motivated, changing their mindset, just a wide
variety of things. And I believe that in today's day
and age that there's a lot of anxiety out there
(03:55):
as well, so I would like to think that you
would be able to help them with, you know, breaking
through barriers or practicing self care and tackling those hurdles.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Almost like a therapist, is very very closely related. Really
the main difference between a therapist and a life coach.
A therapist tends to help you work through your past,
whereas a life coach helps you build your future. Okay,
so that's kind of where we differ. I will tell
you that my set is the core of it all.
(04:30):
And I actually never was like I'm going to be
a life coach. I fell into it because of my
beauty and wellness business. I was doing consultations with women's skincare, makeup,
things like that. And I've started to see an underlying
trend with women where either they were having a life
change of some kind, maybe their kids are grown now,
(04:53):
they're recently divorced, and they're like, I want to feel
good again. I've lost my identity, I don't know who
I am, or they were struggling with feeling guilty. Practicing
self care. Taking time to do their makeup or skincare
was time away that they were taking from their family
(05:13):
or their loved ones, and there was a sense of
guilt going on. And I started to really see that
all of these things were all tying together in that mindset,
and I wanted to be able to help more than
just skincare and makeup. I wanted to help on a
deeper level, and that's where I decided to go get
my life coaching degree. And then I actually decided to
get layers of certification because you can specialize in self care, confidence,
(05:37):
breaking through barriers, empowerment. So I went the full skill. Wow,
I just got every certification I could because I wanted
to be able to help in as many avenues as
I could. And that led to also being an accountability
coach because I realized that sometimes we're great at saying things,
but it's really hard to stick with things. Creating new
(05:58):
habits is tough because mindset comes into play. So coaching
is all of those things, right, It's not usually just
one or the other. It's usually more complex, for sure.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
And you're is the demographic mainly middle aged women? Or
I'm sure you do and over? Okay, Yeah, forty and
over is.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Pretty much ninety percent of my clients, right, Women who
are forty and over? Yeah, I mean it's all the
way into their seventies as well, though.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Wow, yeah, I mean that's We've talked about that a
lot on our show. That's the time in your life
where you do struggle with a lot of the things
you were talking about, you know, taking time for yourself
and not feeling guilty about it, setting you know, boundaries
and and helping other people understand that you need that
(06:49):
too so that you can be there for them.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
You know, Yes, and when you're forty and over, you
honestly need it more than ever because now you're going
through life changes as well, physically or more drained, and
you know, all the hormonal changes that we do, you know,
deal with as a fording and upper woman, you need
even more self care. You need to be more in
tune with your mind and your body to battle those
(07:14):
things and to navigate that part of life in the
most graceful way that we can and the most enjoyable
way that we can. And having all those tools to
do that makes a huge difference, and that can change
a very tumultuous time in our life into something that
can actually be rewarding and you know, making the best
event right.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
That's you know.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Something that I work with women on as well.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yeah, do you have have you ever had a client
that you know, like was like your biggest success or
was most empowering to you that you learned from or
anything like that. I mean, obviously we don't need to
name names, but sure, yeah, I have.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
So many incredible experiences going into this. I had no idea,
idea the impact that I could have. And I mean
I've managed to impact people I didn't even know. I
wasn't packing. They weren't even direct clients that come to
me and say things like I've been watching your lives
and your tutorials and these things for the last six
months while I was getting chemo treatments and it took
(08:18):
the pain away. It took my mind off of the pain,
and now I'm cancer free. And I had no idea
I was part of that journey with them. And I mean,
it's incredibly rewarding to hear something like that. Oh I'm sure, Eve,
I packed at somebody on such an amazing level. But
all the time I have clients that we do graduations.
(08:40):
If you do my higher, my longer packages I do
where we actually have a celebration lunch and you know
virtual thing and you know this whole celebration when you
reach your goals. Because so I have helped so many
women hit goals whether it was I want a new profession,
so I helped them step by step. Okay, let's talk resume,
(09:01):
let's talk interview skills, you know, things like that. Or
it might be a weight loss journey or a nutrition goal.
You know, at forty a lot of times we get
blood tests back that we're like wait what, yeah, what
does that mean? What? You know?
Speaker 5 (09:14):
But and working with a nutritionist is great, but having
in a life coach, having that accountability, that check in,
that someone that's doing the journey with you can make
all the difference.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
In fact, they say that nine there's a ninety five
percent chance of you achieving your goals if you have
a coach along the way. Wow, that's huge. Yeah, So
you know, having that support system. Support systems are incredible,
especially when they're outside of your normal like home right
(09:48):
on someone you know, not having the biases, someone who
is coming from outside in that can give you you know, honest,
you know, untampered with opinions, and have that check in
with you on a regular basis. It really can be helpful.
So yeah, I've seen women hit those weight loss goals
and just cry to me and say, I feel like
(10:08):
myself again, I have energy it's amazing to see a
woman who maybe wasn't smiling that much on our first
call to now they're crying with joy transformed. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah, that's got to be very rewarding. I'm sure right,
it is fantastic.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Best decision I ever made was to be It was
to become a life wow for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well, and I would think that that would help you
yourself personally as well in finding your purpose in life. Because,
if I'm not mistaken, you have a full time job
in addition to this.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Correct, Oh wow, I do, Yes, I do. Oh my goodness.
I'm a bit of a workaholic, so sometimes I have
to take my own coaching advice and remember to pencil
in that self care in that downtime. I am a
full time project manager, so it is work from home,
(11:05):
so I work my business in other pockets of time.
Thankfully I have the opportunity of flexibility. I'm slowly working
my way to making my business my full time job,
but for three years I've managed both. So something I
also coach and is time management and time blocking and
things like that. Because I know that if I can
(11:28):
do this, I can make all this work, then I
know you guys can hit your goals too. I know
that it's pile. You just have to have the right
plan and that's where it really all starts.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And know where to start. Yeah, and know where to start.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
That's the hardest part. Hardest part is getting started. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I struggle myself with time management at my full time job,
and blocking out focused time on my calendar is probably
one of the greatest things that I do personally to
help manage my time and priorities at work. I'm sure
there's a lot of other tips and tricks that I
(12:08):
could utilize in order to better manage my time, and
I feel that when I do that, I'm better at
my job.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
H Absolutely better organized.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, I'm more organized. I don't feel overwhelmed as much. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Well, in a lot of times that just boils down
to self care and I always start, no matter what
I'm working with a client on. Self care is at
the core because you have to keep your tank full.
You absolutely have to. Your self care cup has to
be full, especially if you are struggling with who you are,
(12:43):
your identity, you're trying to make a change, you're trying
to create new habits. You got to have a full tank.
You're gonna need guests in the tank to get there right.
So what I'll often tell women that sometimes struggle with
the guilt too right spelled scheduling time for themselves feels
selfish to them. But what I often I try to
change the mindset because when you think about it, if
(13:05):
your cup is full, you're actually going to be a
better mom, a better wife, a better employee, a better
friend because you're going to be present in the moments.
You're not going to be thinking about how tired you are,
what your to do list is, or whatever it is
that's going on. You're not going to be irritable and
cranky and snappy because we've all done it and we've
(13:27):
all felt bad about it. And that's your signal of
your body and your mind telling you that your cup
is drank right, and if you keep it full, you're
going to function better and you're going to perform better
everywhere in your life, including those goals that you want
to work on. So self care is step one no
matter what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Goal wise, and that will also help with staying motivated,
which I find that I'm sometimes on a roller coaster.
I'm very motivated one day, but then the next day
not so much. And just you know that EBB and
flow if you are so, and.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
That can tie into like reward systems. You know, acts
of self care can be part of your reward system
for every like you know, you hit a goal, you
can add in an extra self care. So you want
to have your base self care that you're doing every day.
The minimum of five minutes a day is what I
always tell everyone. Five minutes of your day is minimum.
I mean, that's like the bottom of the barrel though,
(14:28):
but you want to build from there. Obviously, you want
to you know, do as much as you can, but
five minutes minimum and that can make more of a
difference than we realize. And a good place to start. Yeah,
it's all going to add up. Place to start absolutely, Yes,
baby steps, yes.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
And what are some of the things that you recommend
in that five minutes to do? Is it like meditation?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
We have five minutes And I will tell you I
actually have a free hundred plus self care guide activity guide,
and it's broke down for you. If you have five minutes,
here's like twenty five examples. If you have fifteen minutes,
here's examples. If you have thirty minutes, to an hour.
It's there for you too. It's a great resource because
a lot of times we do struggle with like what
do I do in time? And I will tell you
(15:14):
that self care is going to be different from to everyone. Yeah,
I'm gonna enjoy a thing that you may not. You're
going to enjoy something I may not. But I always
try some things see what works out. But what matters
is what do you look forward to? What is actually
bringing you joy? That is your self care. Regardless of
(15:39):
what it is. As long as it's something that's not
detrimental to your health or you know, something like that.
As long as it's bringing you joy and you're looking
forward to it, that is self care. So from break
it down to like you said, to your point, how
much time do I have?
Speaker 6 (15:53):
Yeah, it can be as simple as put a blanket
in the dryer for two minutes to get it a
little wrapping yourself into a burrito form and looking at
a wall for five minutes.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Wow, okay, that.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Is self care. It is time with yourself. As someone
who lives in a very cold environment, right now, I
appreciate myself burrito times. It's very rewarding, right, But even
something that simple maybe you're like I just I don't
even have that time right now. I don't even have
that time. Okay, are you gonna take a shower today?
(16:28):
Likely most of us are, so maybe you utilize your
shower time. Do you have a favorite body scrub, a
favorite hair mask? Buy one of those little like scalp
scrubbers on Amazon for five dollars, Do a little hair mask,
massage it in, turn on the you know, turn down
the lights, turn up some music, light a candle while
you're already in there, and turn it into a self
(16:51):
care spa five minutes of you time, even if the
kids are knocking at the door, whatever's going on, the cat,
scratch the door, whatever, that is your you time. And
that's something with moms especially right we really work on
getting the most out of your showers, baths, things like that,
because you may not have a lot of time to add,
(17:13):
but you are at least doing those things. So let's
see how we can make it feel like a retreat.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I use a eucalyptus spray in my shower.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Okay, that's my zen.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Wow, that's a good one.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I like that. That's an amazing way to practice self care.
It gives you time to be present with that and
not with everything else going on. Really, self care is
just what's distracting you, what's making you, like, just feel
like you're in that moment, having fun doing it, and
you're not worrying about your to do list or what's
happening on Wednesday or you know, things like that. That's
what self cares for, is to decompress and get your
(17:47):
mind off of the things.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Wonderful, that's amazing. Five minutes we can do that for me.
It's building those habits that you mentioned earlier. Even though
I mentioned I use the eucalyptus spray, it never really
associated in my mind that that.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Was part of self care, right.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, so yeah, and that's an easy one.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And see now when you do it, you can be
more mindful, right, maybe to do it a little longer,
think about it a little more, breathe it in a
little deeper, right, Like, really appreciate those moments that you
have instead of just doing them because they've got to
get off the checklist. Right. It's just becoming a habit.
(18:29):
It needs to be something where you're really realizing the
value that you're getting from.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
It, right. And I also am a type of person
that I feel like I always need something to look
forward to, a trip, a vacation, something large scale in
my world to look forward to, and without that, I
just feel sometimes spiraling, if.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
You will, or yeah, just going through life, you know,
day by day.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah, And this year I wanted to take a trip
to Greece. That was my goal out of the gate
that I've been having all of these issues at home
with major appliances that need to be replaced, and so
now I've replaced a washing machine and just and so
every time that happens, I'm like struggling to not let
(19:23):
it poke holes at my goal of going to Greece
this year, and it's like, you know what, don't give up.
It's still early. You know, there's a lot of time
left in order for you to have that trip that
you're looking forward to. But yeah, it's funny with me,
I definitely have.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
To have that. Yeah, I'm the same way. I think
most people are too. We all need something that we're
working towards. That's why goals are so rewarding because they
do give you that purpose, that motivation, that the reason
to get out of bed every day other than our
normal day to day to life that break from the normal,
(20:00):
whatever it is, even if your goal is not a trip,
maybe if your goal is to work a job that
gives you more flexible schedule and you're just figuring out
how to get there, or maybe it's a new car,
or if like it could be a new outfit. It
could be anything, but that's what's helping you get out
of head every day and get you excited about the
things you're working towards. And that's honestly one of the
(20:22):
reasons when I'm working with people with goals too, Like
we always talk about find your why, why do you
want this goal? And we create vision boards and goal mapping,
And I'm actually going to be releasing very soon my
first couple of webinars where we're literally going to build
vision boards and do goal mapping in a webinar, because
I have realized people don't make vision boards and it's
(20:45):
very very easy to lose track of why you're doing
something if it is not visually present in front of
you every single day. If it's out of sight, it
is out of my mind. So you know, if you're
working towards the weight loss, go on my put a
picture of whatever trip or bathing suit you want to
wear on your refrigerator front and center, so that's going
(21:09):
to be your why so vision boards and visual things
are huge. And if you ever really get to know
me and my coaching and all of my podcasts, I
am a post it note queen. I preach post it
notes like like it's going like I mean, I should
be like partnered with the post it note, Brandy, because
they are so powerful. They really they're wonderful little tools
(21:33):
that we really are there just underrated. Be yeah, I agree,
very cheap tool to have in your pocket.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yes, yeah, I have a drawer.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
All over. Yeah, I've got them all now in all
the shapes, stars and hearts and color. Might as well
make them pretty right right right now?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
How would you go about helping someone change their mindset?
I'm curious to know because I found that certain things
that are happening and going on in the world today,
especially in America, I'm filled with negativity and anxiety to
extremes of myself of what I know that I generally,
(22:15):
you know, am built and comprised of, but I'm struggling
changing my mindset in some of those things. Being positive,
being positive and just pushing out those negative thoughts, And
I was just wondering if you had any you know,
insight tips for individuals to help change their mindset.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
So mindset change is literally rewiring your brain. It's the
same as creating any other habit I mean very simply put,
neuroplasticity is the scientific word for that. Our brain can
be changed, but it does take practice, right, It's not
(22:54):
going to happen with one thing. It's something you have
to work on all the time. Now, if your mindset,
like you said, maybe it's a negative thing. Maybe it's
you're not good at saying kind things to yourself, which
a lot of us struggle with that. We don't how
often do you look in a mirror and say nice things?
(23:15):
When do you point out the nice things?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Right?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Probably not as often as you point out the things
you want to change, right. And that's where we have
to decide, Hey, where is the mindset going? What is
it we're trying to reprogram and that's going to mean okay,
so we're going to take the opposite of that. So
if you're worried about something like a scenario, maybe let's
go with the opposite scenario, the best case scenario, and
(23:40):
let's practice being in that scenario, or practice that word instead.
Instead of I think I'm ugly, how about I am beautiful? Wow?
Or if you think you're a failure, how about I
am successful. So take that polar opposite and you're going
to practice it. You're going to create morning mantras again.
Post it notes one of my biggest things I tell
(24:02):
my ladies. Take three post it notes. Write down whatever
it is you want to become true. You want to
start believing. Whether you believe it or not, It doesn't
matter whether you think you're successful or whatever, doesn't matter.
You're going to write on there I am successful. And
you're going to put them in three different places that
you see every single day. Wow, kitchen, bathroom, office, right
(24:24):
on your laptop, make it your phone background if you
need to. If you don't want to do post it right.
I having those around make a difference. And I always say,
when you read them, say them out loud if you can.
I know sometimes if you're at work, that could be awkward,
but try to say them out loud as many times
as you can, and in front of a mirror is
(24:46):
even more powerful.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Okay. I don't spend a lot of time in front
of the mirror. Never have, but especially these days, it
just doesn't to me justice. We have talked about probably
at least one or two shows, I think on manif Festation,
about vision boards, about journaling. I am a big believer
in Manifestation, and I think it was funny one of
(25:09):
our shows. I had this little notebook that was on
my nightstand and I used to write things in it
all the time. And this was about a decade ago,
and we were doing our show on Manifestation, and I
knew I had that somewhere because my daughter says, I'm
a hoarder, but I'm not. I am a pack rat,
(25:31):
but I knew that I wouldn't have gotten rid of it.
And I found it, and when I read it ten
years later, again, it's just a laundry list on a
notepad of things that I was so shocked at how
many of those things had I manifest you accomplished and
I accomplished, and the things that came true. And one
(25:52):
of them, which was a trip to Italy that I
had taken recently to our show.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
But now it's been a couple of.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Years, I didn't even remember wanting that or writing it down,
and when I saw it, I couldn't believe it and
I had to show Ashley. I was like, oh my gosh,
you're never gonna believe what was on my list. So again,
I'm a big believer in manifestation and appreciate your tips
on helping change mindset and all of the things that
(26:22):
you have that you're able to assist people with with coaching.
And we're so happy, Carla Joy to have you on
our show today. Thank you so much. And if you'd
like to reach out to Carla Joy and find out
more about her life coaching, please go to Beauty by
Carlajoy dot com and again that'll be in our show notes.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Thank you, Carla, and thank you so much for having me.
And I will leave you with my favorite quote is
going to be It's only a dream unless you write
it down, then it becomes a goal.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Ooh, I like that.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
It's only a dream. You gotta write it down.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Okay, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I would love yeah, And if you're ever interested, anybody,
come to the website. I'm always happy to answer any
questions and I will be doing a special with my
life coaching packages just for the listeners of this podcast.
You can use codejoy twenty for twenty percent off and
I'll leave that running for a limited time.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Awesome, perfect, Thank you so much, so much. Well, that
wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining us on
Let's Talk Midlife Crisis. We hope you got some laughs,
a little inspiration, and maybe a few new ideas.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
If you've loved today's episode, hit that subscribe button so
you'll never miss an episode, and hey, share the love.
Send this episode to a friend who could use a
good laugh and some midlife wisdom.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Connect with us on social media Let's talk midlife Crisis
and let us know what's on your mind. We love
hearing from you.
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