March 11, 2025 • 29 mins
Are you feeling the weight of midlife responsibilities and wondering how to find balance? Join us as we dive into an enriching conversation about the eight crucial types of rest that every woman in midlife should know about. We explore the nuances of mental, emotional, physical, social, responsibility, sensory, overthinking, and creative rest, revealing how each one contributes to your overall well-being.Rest isn't just about catching up on sleep; it's about creating a holistic approach to your health. You’ll learn practical tips on how to incorporate these essential breaks into your everyday life. Whether that’s setting boundaries for your emotional health, discovering energizing relationships, or finding joy in creative outlets, there's something here for everyone.Together, we’ll uncover the complexities surrounding rest and how prioritizing it can bring rejuvenation and joy back into your life. We invite you to engage with us — what type of rest do you find most challenging to embrace? Let’s connect on our social channels, share your experiences, and support one another on this journey toward holistic wellness. Don’t forget to subscribe for more insightful discussions and actionable tips!
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Source: https://themenopauseco.com/
Thanks for listening! Follow us on our social channelshttps://www.youtube.com/@Letstalkmidlifecrisis-mh2bf/videoshttps://www.instagram.com/letstalkmidlifecrisis/https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091451734861
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/lets-talk-midlife-crisis-podcast/donations
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Let's Talk midlife crisis. I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy.
Where your go to hosts for all things midlife, menopause
and moments of pure mayhem. Whether you're navigating hot flashes,
chasing new passions, or just trying to remember why you
walked into a room.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
We've got you. Every week we bring you tips, real
life stories, and expert advice to help you laugh, learn,
and thrive through this midlife wild journey. The eight types
of rest you need to recharte.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Okay, I was looking at this list and I did
not realize how many different kinds of rest you can get.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I was shocked too.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Yeah, it's really cool.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And rest isn't just about sleep, right right, different types
of rests that are essentral for overall well being and
the impact of rest on midlife women is burnout, brain,
emotional exhaustion, and hormonal shifts. All of those have to
do with not getting the right kind of rest or
(01:08):
def of the right kind of rest.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, I yeah, Like I said, as I was looking
through this list, I was really intrigued by some of
them because I know, to me, rest is just you know,
sleeping well at night, or maybe relaxing in the evening
and watching a show, you know. Yeah, but I know
there's some things on this list that I don't really
pay attention to, so I'm really excited to dig into this.
(01:34):
But the first one, the first one is mental rest.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Right, and signs of mental fatigue and how to give
your brain a break, journaling mindfulness and setting boundaries.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Wow, that's a big one.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
That's a big one. That's a big one. And I've
often struggled with mental rest, especially when I go to
bed at night. It's like trying to shut my brain
off so that I go to sleep has always been
a challenge.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah, because when you know, at the end of the day,
when you lay down, it's like, Okay, you're thinking about
things that happened that day. You're thinking about what you
have to do tomorrow, yes, or even that week, you know,
And that's kind of when you're like, Okay, now I'm
finally not doing something and I can think about all
this stuff. But it's really the worst time to think
(02:20):
about it, right.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
So and for me, in order to go to sleep,
I have the worst habit, but I sleep with the
television on and I'll set a timer. Yeah, and we'll
get to that here in a little bit. Why that's
also bad. But I'll set a timer for you know,
sixty minutes or something, and I'll turn on something like
Friends or something that has no drama, that doesn't invoke
(02:43):
adrenaline or anything like that, and then I'll close my
eyes and focus on the words that they're saying, okay, right,
the dialogue, and that allows me to go to sleep. Wow,
it bothered my ex because.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Oh it would be too.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
It's a total darkness, total quiet.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yes. See, we have like an air purifier, you know,
and it's kind of like a white noise, so I
definitely have to have that. It can't be like silent.
But I cannot sleep with the TV on. I have
fallen asleep while it's on. But if it doesn't turn off,
I will wake up. It will wake me up. And
(03:22):
usually we'll get in bed and turn on something that
is you know, like unsolved mysteries or just something that
you can just you don't really have to pay too
close attention to. But almost always we set the timer
for like fifteen twenty minutes because we know we're going
to be out very quickly, so it doesn't go on
throughout the night. It is something that it's like, Okay,
(03:43):
I'm winding down, I'm just gonna watch this and just
fall asleep. It seems to work. Yeah, but I can't
sleep with the TV on now all I can.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
A lot of people can't. And again it's a bad
habit that I had gotten into a long time ago.
I wish and as I lay there, I tried to meditate,
and I feel that the harder I try to push
all thoughts out of my mind, the more my mind
goes crazy. So it's just something that works for me.
M It clearly doesn't work for everyone, and it's not
(04:12):
the best, right, but it is, you know, a something
that I've gotten used to that helps me push all
of my you know, work and life out of my mind.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I think it's also important during the day to get
mental rest, you know, especially if you're having a day
where you're just really overloaded with you know, work and
other things that are going on in your house or
with your kids or whatever it might be, you know.
And I mean I've said, sometimes you know, by like afternoon,
(04:45):
like my brain is tired, you know. And so I
think even during the day it's important to take some
breaks and get that mental rest, whether you just like
close your eyes for five minutes, you know, and listen
to some peaceful music, or just you know, do some
stretching and just try not to be thinking about that stuff.
(05:06):
Find something that will kind of help you escape, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
And there's a ton of things, a ton of options,
especially with technology today, things on YouTube that you can do.
There's all kinds of meditation videos and sounds and you know,
different things. I've listened to self hypnosis at night as well.
That was something else. But it's funny because I'll have
the phone sitting next to my head, but the TV
(05:31):
is still on.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Oh my gosh, I know, it's too funny.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Okay, So the second one is emotional rest.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Okay, how do we get emotional rest?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Well, the weight of emotional labor and how to create
safe spaces to express feelings. So therapy, venting to a friend,
setting emotional boundaries are ways we can help with emotional rest.
I'm not sure setting emotional boundaries if that's realistic for me.
(06:05):
Emotions for me seem to run rampant and boundaries. I
just don't feel like I could create a line in
the sandy emotions that I know when I'm going to
being too emotional, right, Maybe that's what it's about and
just trying to reel yourself back.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
In, but I know, maybe trying to control them a
little more. I I definitely like, I'm not really a
huge advocate of like controlling your emotions because I think
when you're feeling something, you should express it, you know.
But on the other hand, there there is a place
in time, you know, you don't want to be in
(06:42):
public and you know, unleash on your partner because you're
upset about something like the obviously so at that you know,
to that extent, yes, you would need to control them.
I you know, I've said many times I'm in therapy.
Initially I was going pretty frequent. Now I go like
once every four or five weeks. Oh okay, And I
(07:05):
really don't. I mean, there's been a few times where
I thought, what am I going to talk about today?
You know, and I really but other than that, I
really don't have a problem. And usually what happens is
whatever I'm dealing with at that point in my life,
or if there's something that we need to touch back
on that happened in between, we'll discuss. But I've kind
(07:28):
of joked like the last few times I've gone, I
really was just kind of venting the whole time about
situations I was dealing with, you know, And sometimes it's
just nice to have someone that's not in your circle
that can give you some advice and it's unbiased and
and you know, the one thing I really like about
(07:48):
my therapist is that not only is she giving me
professional advice, she's also like really trying to relate to me,
Like she's sharing personal experiences with me that are related
toble and ways that you know, worked for her to
manage through that. And I really like that because it's like, Okay,
she's a real person and she goes through all this
(08:10):
shit in her life too, and I love this she
shares that with me. I love that she talks about
her relationship with her partner and her relationship with her
parents and her siblings, and because it really helps me
get perspective too. And I think that's another thing that's
really good with friends. You know, they can share their
perspective and you know things that they've gone through.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes, but friends aren't always the best at giving advice, right, right,
So I think that's where a therapist comes into playing
that they give you. They are able to provide you
with a lot of tools right to deal.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
With emotions or the things that are happening in there,
or even understand why you handle things the way you do,
like why your emotions are the way they are.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Because you know, some people cry when they're upset and
some people scream when they're upset. You know, so she
kind of you know, they that kind of help you
identify why you react the way you do and if
it's still working for you, because maybe what worked for
you as a kid isn't working for you as an adult.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You know, Yes, so okay.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Next one is social rest. We've talked about this, yes, yes, yeah, when.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
You identifying draining versus energy energizing relationships and learning to
say no to social obligations that don't serve you.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, when you have plans, if you're just not feeling it,
you should say that. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yea.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Oftentimes I think when I was working in the office,
I would need to more of a mental health day
or stay you know, work from home for a day
versus going into the office where all of the social
drama of work.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Was well and the interruption. You know, I always felt
like when I worked in an office and we were
kind of like a hybrid type before that was even
a thing after the pandemic. But the days that I
did go into the office, I got a lot less
work done because I had that constant social interruption. And
the days I worked from home, I accomplished so much
(10:13):
more because I didn't have those interruptions. So, yeah, sometimes
it's nice and you just need to go be home
and sit down and focus, or maybe you just need
to take a day off for yourself, you know, and
not do any work, not deal with anybody.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And sometimes there's social things or individuals that you would
generally socialize with that maybe have different beliefs.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
We've talked about that a lot.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I think it's important to bring that up right now
because I am staying away from just you know, a
couple people in my life.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Because they get you too worked up.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
A social rest because you know, we're no longer aligning
in you know, morals and you know, different things that
I hold dear and it's more upsetting than it.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Is it is, I feel like more so now than
it ever has been. I agree, And yeah, sometimes you know,
maybe you don't need to cut ties with them completely,
but sometimes you just take to take a break. And
taking a break, yeah, because it's like you said, right now,
there's a lot going on and people are very passionate
(11:20):
about how they feel about things, and a lot of
people are very vocal about it and don't really I
think they're just not sensitive to how it might be
affecting their friends or their family when they're vocalizing that.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Well. And then I was finding that by hanging out
with some of these you know individuals, some of these
friends that even though we're not talking about anything that
would trigger either one of us, I personally found that
I was constantly worried, worried and thinking about what I
(11:53):
say before I say it. Could this be triggering? Could this?
You know? Right? And there's and so even if by
not talking about it, for me internally, there was still tension.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Right Yeah. Yeah, that's a tough one. But again, I mean,
don't ever feel bad if you have a commitment to someone,
even if it's someone that you don't have any issues with, right,
you know, if you just don't feel like going out
that night or meeting for lunch that day, it's okay
to say, hey, can I get a rain check. I'm
just not feeling it. Yeah, sometimes you just have to
do that.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yes, absolutely, Okay. Number four and this is an easy
one for me. Physical rest, So the difference between passive
sleep and napping and active rest, which is yoga, stretching,
massage for midlife bodies.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yeah, absolutely, or just even just sitting on the couch,
which I have a really hard time. I mean everyone,
anyone in my family will joke about the fact that
I can't sit still for a long period of time.
I think I've gotten better as I've gotten older, because I,
you know, my body can't do what it always did,
and I by the end of the day, if I've
been doing a lot of like physical labor or you know,
(13:04):
a lot of running around, or I feel it and
I just have to sit down. But physical rest for me,
I think is a tough one because I do feel
the need to constantly be moving, right, and I think
a lot of people are that way.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Right, There's just so much, especially if you're working. For me,
it's the weekends. A perfect weekend for me is having
one day of staying in my pajama, no commitment and
no commitments, nothing that I have to do. Maybe I'll
throw in a load of laundry or run a load
of dishes through the dishwasher or something like that.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
But I can still binge watch your favorite show.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Charging favorite shows is a really bad habit that I've
gotten into. That is a perfect weekend for me is
when I have a whole day just to you know,
not be with the grandchildren, not cook a family dinner,
not you know, hang out with my friends.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Right just I can count on one hand many times
a year I do that, and that's I know, that's crazy.
But Page is thrilled because that's her favorite thing to do,
and she's like, you, like, ideal weekend, just sit around
binge watch shows. Not too long ago, we had one
(14:16):
of those days. We were just both really tired and
we watched like three movies back to back, which is
unheard of for me. But she was like, oh my gosh,
this is amazing. And it felt good.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
It did.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
It felt really good. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Yeah, yeah, because even this weekend, you've been busy. You're
helping a neighbor sell your house, watching windows, doing all
that kind of stuff, and I'm just like, wow, it's
making me tired just thinking about it. Not that I
even go home and do my own windows. That's funny.
I just look at your windows. They're probably clean.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I don't look. I don't think they are right now,
I don't, but I do try to do it a
couple times a year, do you Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I buy the spray on the outside. Do you get
that that you can spray through even your screens and
it washes them down. So that's good for me.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Great.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah. Sometimes I like physical activities and I feel good,
I feel productive. But then there's days where I don't,
you know, and I want to just take a break
for a day. But I didn't realize the physical rest
part of it and how important that is.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yeah, it definitely is. And again, like you said, it
can be doing something like stretching or yoga. It doesn't
have to be like rest like not doing anything anything.
It can be something that's very calming, but you're also
benefiting from the action.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
So the next one, this is huge for me, and
I think this kind of ties into setting boundaries responsibility rest.
This is nothing I've ever thought of before.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Right, the burden of caregiving work and household duties, how
to delegate and take breaks without guilt, And I think
that's the important part. Is without guilt.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I think that, and I am such a perfectionist that
I want to do it myself and I know that
I'm overloading myself. My plate is full, and i know,
like I mean, my kids and my partner will say, hey,
let me, let me do this, and I'm like, no, no, no,
because i want it done the way I want it done.
(16:19):
I'm just too too much like for me, it just
drives me crazy, Like if they did it, and it's like, oh,
that's so sweet, that's so kind, But I really want
to go back and do it the way I do it,
you know, And I need to let go of that
because I'm not getting that responsibility rest, you know. And
I'm just afraid of letting all that go because I'm
(16:39):
so you know, such a perfectionist and so obsessed with
how I thinks.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I'm a control freak. Yeah, yeah, maybe not a perfectionist,
but more of a control freak. And but like you said,
if somebody else helped, thank you, But then it's not
done the way you want it to be done, and
maybe you have to redo it later or if not,
you're just thinking about it and I don't.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
And yeah, and I think too, We've talked about this
a few times. You and I we still are very
very involved with our kids. Yes they're all adults, but
we're still very involved and we still feel the need
to take care of them. I'm using quote air quotes
air quotes, And that's one thing I've learned in the
(17:22):
last year that I've been going to therapy is that
I need to let go of some of that I need, like,
and it's not because they're putting that burden on me.
It's because of me. That's how I feel, and I
don't realize how taxing that is on me, and so
I really have to set boundaries and be like, you
know what, They're going to be fine, they'll figure it out, right,
(17:43):
you know, and you just need to stop taking on
everyone's weight. Yes, you know. So I think that's a
huge one too, that.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
It is huge, and I apparently it's made this top
list right of our top eight, right, So it's huge,
and I don't think it's top of mind for everybody.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Like I said, I when I went through this, that
was one that I never really thought about, yea, But
obviously I had already discussed with my therapist and I
was like, oh, I guess that is part of rest.
So so many parts of rest.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yeah, I like for six on the list is sensory rest.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
This goes into like too much screen time?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I think, yes, managing overstimulation in a tech driven world.
You know, whether it's screen free time, dim lighting, silence,
nature walks. I think nature walks are really important.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Oh absolutely, especially you know what, it's fun if you
have grass, which we do a lot of people in Arizona.
Don't just see you I'll know, right, it's actually really
fun to take your shoes and socks off and go
walk on the grass and it's kind of like you're grounding.
It feels so nice, and I just don't do it
that often, so when I do, I'm like, wow, this
(18:53):
feels so good. You know. I think things like that, Like,
you know, I do.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
The same thing, and I love grass. I just have
a small patch of it, but I had to have it.
And I've noticed recently because our weather is warming up,
not that it ever gets cold here, but it actually
feels good to lay out in the sun. So my
house is funny because it does get cool overnight, but
then it heats up during the day, so we're not
using heat or air. But the house gets chilly in
(19:20):
the morning, and I keep it closed up so that
it stays cool when it gets hotter in the afternoon.
So in the mornings, as i'm working, I'll try to
take a break and I'll go out and lay out
on the deck by the pool. N or it's not
a deck, but I'll lay out by the pool where
I have these sand pavers. And I've noticed the same
(19:40):
with the grass that when I sit there, I'll flex
my toes on the pavers and to me, I'm a
beach person, so you can feel the sand in the pavers.
There's just something very relaxing to me about that. The
grass too, because I have to walk through the grass
to tee there, and I'll always do it and barefoot.
(20:01):
But that is something that helps me.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, I think that's I think that's a that gives
you multiple rests, you know, whether it's mental, physical, but yeah,
I think just taking time to sit in nature wherever
you are. I mean, you know, even if you're in
the city, there's somewhere you can find right it gives
you some kind of rest.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
We have a lot of mountain trails and things I
enjoy riding my bike and now that the weather's nice,
even though it's not in nature so to speak. Just
getting being outside right right, and noticing the neighbors. I'm
noticing a lot of my neighbors. I'm feeling the need
to update my house because I've seen all the neighbors
(20:45):
are how nice and all the work that they're doing.
But I also live near mountains and stuff, so but
there's a lot of trees and vegetation right and things.
But and I'm also getting exercise and.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Getting you off your phone and away for your computer
and the TV and those things that are really distracting.
I always joke with Page that her world is so
loud because she's always listening to music or watching a
show or playing a video game. Like wherever she goes,
her phone is making some kind of noise. And I
(21:20):
just think you ever want to just like I mean,
I'll drive in my car sometimes with no music, nothing
and just enjoy the piece quiet. Yeah, the quiet.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
My son comes over and I can't stand it. He
has two phones and they have different times for different things,
and they're constantly going off. And he has that ring,
that doorbell ringing where it chimes all the time, and
I'm just like How does that.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Not drive you insane? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
How does that not drive you crazy?
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah? A lot of my notifications are turned off. I
have my ring, you know when people call, and I
have a little sound when I get a text, but
I don't have a sound for email. I don't have
a sound for social medi which I don't really get
on anyway, because then it's just crazy. Yea, then it's insane.
Your your phone's constantly going on.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
And I often will turn off my phone because I'm
at work, I'm in a meeting or something. But then
I'll forget to turn it back right, so it's off
and I don't even notice it. I enjoy that. And
I'm not one that carries my phone around with me
all the day. I'll set it on the counter. And
but yeah, screen time I think is really important right
(22:28):
now on computers all day. And as our most recent
guest was just talking about the blue light all right,
that damage which I didn't really think.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
About damage your eyes, but I didn't realize it could
actually damage your skin too.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Right, right, But I think there's something with you know,
RESTful and.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Mind from that absolutely. Yeah, the next one is overthinking
rest I don't think I'm too terrible in this area.
I have a couple of my kids are and it's like, okay,
just stop, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Well letting go of mental loops, decision fatigue, and okay,
analysis paralysis with relax rest techniques, I do need some
mental rest. I think mental loops.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, I did that all the time.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And I had a friend of mine who's also in midlife,
and for whatever reason, she has mental loops of an
X that go through her mind years later after the breakup,
and she was speaking with someone about it and said,
they're taking up space in my mind and they're not
even paying rent. And I thought that was very interesting
(23:47):
that she would say that.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Yeah, yeah, but the mental loops, it's like she can't
make it stop. And I get that not over my ex,
thank goodness, but just of things that are happening, yea
life or yeah, something that you know, happened at work
and I just can't get that mental loop from stop going.
Or if I'm worried about a child or a grand
(24:09):
child and those mental loops or what I struggle with
the most. So I can definitely see how I can
relate to that getting that under control.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah, I think sometimes that's you know, one thing I
tell my kids when they do it, you know, is
this something that you have control of? And if it's not,
is it something that you're going to be you know,
that's going to be affecting you or you're going to
be worrying about in two weeks or six months.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
If the answer is no to all of those, then
it's not that big a deal, right, Stop overthinking it.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I know sometimes it's easier said than die.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Now, but though I think sometimes you have to pause
and ask yourself those questions so that you can kind
of put yourself at ease a little bit and go, Okay,
you know what, I'm making this bigger than it is, right.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You know. Yeah, And for me, confronting this is reason
is very very healing for me and will eliminate that
mental loop. Whether it's something that happened at work, then
I'll just reach out to that individual or whatever and
just you know, talk through it. And I'm always the
one that takes a high road just because I don't
(25:16):
want that dark cloud hanging right or that mental loop
to continue to write. I'm really sorry, you know, if
I overstepped or you know, because I messed up or
whatever it is, and then I feel better immediately.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Well, and we've talked too about a lot of changes
that happen in your mid life. So and my son's
not near his midlife yet, but he recently was laid
off from work, and you know, he started to panic
and he had about five weeks to figure things out,
and he's getting, you know, a very generous severance package,
and so he's not going to be floundering. But he
(25:54):
instantly panicked and could not stop thinking about it and
was interviewing and found a job and knew when he
was going to start it was right. He got laid off,
and he was, but he's still just had this hanging
over him, and he just kept stressing. And I'm like, listen,
ask yourself these three questions. You know, you already have
a job lined up. You can't control anything else at
this point. You've done what you can do.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
He was probably suffering from.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, yes, absolutely, like like it's been resolved.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Right, but you're still still was mental losing Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
So that's a good one. That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
And the last one on our list is number eight.
Creative rest Reigniting inspiration and joy through art music, nature,
or simply allowing yourself time to daydream.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
That is really cool because I think for a lot
of people it's very therapeutic. Paige loves to play guitar,
she loves Right now, she's working.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
A lot of outlets she does.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
She's working on a really cool collage where she's clipping
things out of magazines and creating different pictures with pieces
of those pictures. Those are her releases. You know, that's
very therapeutic for her, and right, right, and she's very creative,
and I think, you know, I wish I was a
little more like I'm.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Not creative at all.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I think my creativity is more like decorating or painting,
or you know, finding a piece of furniture I can
clean up. That's one for page two. Yeah, there's a
lot of different things as far as creativity goes, but
it can be very therapeutic.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah, And I found that in midlife these last few years,
I don't daydream as much as I used to write.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I feel the same way. I did it a lot
when I was younger, So.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Did I, so did I, and so now I think
I have to think about it before I do it
and kind of not force myself to but just make
it happen where I used to come so natural, I.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Think because when we were younger, it was like what's
our what are we going to be?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Like?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
What's our life going to be?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Like?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
What do I want my life to look like? And
now it's like I kind of I think about, you know,
my future, which is I guess I would be thinking
about when I retire, and it's kind of daunting. Yes,
but I need to daydream. I need to glorify that
like I did when I was younger, that like, this
is what I want. I want to own a home, Yes,
I want you know what I mean? I should still
(28:17):
do that.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah. Yeah, I think that midlife, for whatever reason, and
probably exactly what you just spoke of, I find that
I don't daydream as often, which I am a big daydreamer.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah, looking to the future should not be daunting.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yeah, no, it shouldn't. It shouldn't. Well, share your personal
experiences with us on different types of rest, how menopause
and midlife changes have affected the need for these different
types of rest in your life. Drop us a chat
on any of our social channels. We would love to
hear from you.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Well, that wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining
us on Let's Talk Midlife Crisis. We hope you got
some laughs, a little inspiration, and maybe a few new.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I If you've loved today's episode, hit that subscribe button
so you'll never miss an episode, and hey, share the love.
Send this episode to a friend who could use a
good laugh and some midlife wisdom.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Connect with us on social media at Let's Talk Midlife
Crisis and let us know what's on your mind. We
love hearing from you.
Welcome to Let's Talk midlife crisis. I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy.
Where your go to hosts for all things midlife, menopause
and moments of pure mayhem. Whether you're navigating hot flashes,
chasing new passions, or just trying to remember why you
walked into a room.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
We've got you. Every week we bring you tips, real
life stories, and expert advice to help you laugh, learn,
and thrive through this midlife wild journey. The eight types
of rest you need to recharte.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Okay, I was looking at this list and I did
not realize how many different kinds of rest you can get.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I was shocked too.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Yeah, it's really cool.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And rest isn't just about sleep, right right, different types
of rests that are essentral for overall well being and
the impact of rest on midlife women is burnout, brain,
emotional exhaustion, and hormonal shifts. All of those have to
do with not getting the right kind of rest or
(01:08):
def of the right kind of rest.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, I yeah, Like I said, as I was looking
through this list, I was really intrigued by some of
them because I know, to me, rest is just you know,
sleeping well at night, or maybe relaxing in the evening
and watching a show, you know. Yeah, but I know
there's some things on this list that I don't really
pay attention to, so I'm really excited to dig into this.
(01:34):
But the first one, the first one is mental rest.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Right, and signs of mental fatigue and how to give
your brain a break, journaling mindfulness and setting boundaries.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Wow, that's a big one.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
That's a big one. That's a big one. And I've
often struggled with mental rest, especially when I go to
bed at night. It's like trying to shut my brain
off so that I go to sleep has always been
a challenge.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah, because when you know, at the end of the day,
when you lay down, it's like, Okay, you're thinking about
things that happened that day. You're thinking about what you
have to do tomorrow, yes, or even that week, you know,
And that's kind of when you're like, Okay, now I'm
finally not doing something and I can think about all
this stuff. But it's really the worst time to think
(02:20):
about it, right.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
So and for me, in order to go to sleep,
I have the worst habit, but I sleep with the
television on and I'll set a timer. Yeah, and we'll
get to that here in a little bit. Why that's
also bad. But I'll set a timer for you know,
sixty minutes or something, and I'll turn on something like
Friends or something that has no drama, that doesn't invoke
(02:43):
adrenaline or anything like that, and then I'll close my
eyes and focus on the words that they're saying, okay, right,
the dialogue, and that allows me to go to sleep. Wow,
it bothered my ex because.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Oh it would be too.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
It's a total darkness, total quiet.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yes. See, we have like an air purifier, you know,
and it's kind of like a white noise, so I
definitely have to have that. It can't be like silent.
But I cannot sleep with the TV on. I have
fallen asleep while it's on. But if it doesn't turn off,
I will wake up. It will wake me up. And
(03:22):
usually we'll get in bed and turn on something that
is you know, like unsolved mysteries or just something that
you can just you don't really have to pay too
close attention to. But almost always we set the timer
for like fifteen twenty minutes because we know we're going
to be out very quickly, so it doesn't go on
throughout the night. It is something that it's like, Okay,
(03:43):
I'm winding down, I'm just gonna watch this and just
fall asleep. It seems to work. Yeah, but I can't
sleep with the TV on now all I can.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
A lot of people can't. And again it's a bad
habit that I had gotten into a long time ago.
I wish and as I lay there, I tried to meditate,
and I feel that the harder I try to push
all thoughts out of my mind, the more my mind
goes crazy. So it's just something that works for me.
M It clearly doesn't work for everyone, and it's not
(04:12):
the best, right, but it is, you know, a something
that I've gotten used to that helps me push all
of my you know, work and life out of my mind.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I think it's also important during the day to get
mental rest, you know, especially if you're having a day
where you're just really overloaded with you know, work and
other things that are going on in your house or
with your kids or whatever it might be, you know.
And I mean I've said, sometimes you know, by like afternoon,
(04:45):
like my brain is tired, you know. And so I
think even during the day it's important to take some
breaks and get that mental rest, whether you just like
close your eyes for five minutes, you know, and listen
to some peaceful music, or just you know, do some
stretching and just try not to be thinking about that stuff.
(05:06):
Find something that will kind of help you escape, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
And there's a ton of things, a ton of options,
especially with technology today, things on YouTube that you can do.
There's all kinds of meditation videos and sounds and you know,
different things. I've listened to self hypnosis at night as well.
That was something else. But it's funny because I'll have
the phone sitting next to my head, but the TV
(05:31):
is still on.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Oh my gosh, I know, it's too funny.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Okay, So the second one is emotional rest.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Okay, how do we get emotional rest?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Well, the weight of emotional labor and how to create
safe spaces to express feelings. So therapy, venting to a friend,
setting emotional boundaries are ways we can help with emotional rest.
I'm not sure setting emotional boundaries if that's realistic for me.
(06:05):
Emotions for me seem to run rampant and boundaries. I
just don't feel like I could create a line in
the sandy emotions that I know when I'm going to
being too emotional, right, Maybe that's what it's about and
just trying to reel yourself back.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
In, but I know, maybe trying to control them a
little more. I I definitely like, I'm not really a
huge advocate of like controlling your emotions because I think
when you're feeling something, you should express it, you know.
But on the other hand, there there is a place
in time, you know, you don't want to be in
(06:42):
public and you know, unleash on your partner because you're
upset about something like the obviously so at that you know,
to that extent, yes, you would need to control them.
I you know, I've said many times I'm in therapy.
Initially I was going pretty frequent. Now I go like
once every four or five weeks. Oh okay, And I
(07:05):
really don't. I mean, there's been a few times where
I thought, what am I going to talk about today?
You know, and I really but other than that, I
really don't have a problem. And usually what happens is
whatever I'm dealing with at that point in my life,
or if there's something that we need to touch back
on that happened in between, we'll discuss. But I've kind
(07:28):
of joked like the last few times I've gone, I
really was just kind of venting the whole time about
situations I was dealing with, you know, And sometimes it's
just nice to have someone that's not in your circle
that can give you some advice and it's unbiased and
and you know, the one thing I really like about
(07:48):
my therapist is that not only is she giving me
professional advice, she's also like really trying to relate to me,
Like she's sharing personal experiences with me that are related
toble and ways that you know, worked for her to
manage through that. And I really like that because it's like, Okay,
she's a real person and she goes through all this
(08:10):
shit in her life too, and I love this she
shares that with me. I love that she talks about
her relationship with her partner and her relationship with her
parents and her siblings, and because it really helps me
get perspective too. And I think that's another thing that's
really good with friends. You know, they can share their
perspective and you know things that they've gone through.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes, but friends aren't always the best at giving advice, right, right,
So I think that's where a therapist comes into playing
that they give you. They are able to provide you
with a lot of tools right to deal.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
With emotions or the things that are happening in there,
or even understand why you handle things the way you do,
like why your emotions are the way they are.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Because you know, some people cry when they're upset and
some people scream when they're upset. You know, so she
kind of you know, they that kind of help you
identify why you react the way you do and if
it's still working for you, because maybe what worked for
you as a kid isn't working for you as an adult.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You know, Yes, so okay.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Next one is social rest. We've talked about this, yes, yes, yeah, when.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
You identifying draining versus energy energizing relationships and learning to
say no to social obligations that don't serve you.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, when you have plans, if you're just not feeling it,
you should say that. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yea.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Oftentimes I think when I was working in the office,
I would need to more of a mental health day
or stay you know, work from home for a day
versus going into the office where all of the social
drama of work.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Was well and the interruption. You know, I always felt
like when I worked in an office and we were
kind of like a hybrid type before that was even
a thing after the pandemic. But the days that I
did go into the office, I got a lot less
work done because I had that constant social interruption. And
the days I worked from home, I accomplished so much
(10:13):
more because I didn't have those interruptions. So, yeah, sometimes
it's nice and you just need to go be home
and sit down and focus, or maybe you just need
to take a day off for yourself, you know, and
not do any work, not deal with anybody.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And sometimes there's social things or individuals that you would
generally socialize with that maybe have different beliefs.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
We've talked about that a lot.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I think it's important to bring that up right now
because I am staying away from just you know, a
couple people in my life.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Because they get you too worked up.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
A social rest because you know, we're no longer aligning
in you know, morals and you know, different things that
I hold dear and it's more upsetting than it.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Is it is, I feel like more so now than
it ever has been. I agree, And yeah, sometimes you know,
maybe you don't need to cut ties with them completely,
but sometimes you just take to take a break. And
taking a break, yeah, because it's like you said, right now,
there's a lot going on and people are very passionate
(11:20):
about how they feel about things, and a lot of
people are very vocal about it and don't really I
think they're just not sensitive to how it might be
affecting their friends or their family when they're vocalizing that.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Well. And then I was finding that by hanging out
with some of these you know individuals, some of these
friends that even though we're not talking about anything that
would trigger either one of us, I personally found that
I was constantly worried, worried and thinking about what I
(11:53):
say before I say it. Could this be triggering? Could this?
You know? Right? And there's and so even if by
not talking about it, for me internally, there was still tension.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Right Yeah. Yeah, that's a tough one. But again, I mean,
don't ever feel bad if you have a commitment to someone,
even if it's someone that you don't have any issues with, right,
you know, if you just don't feel like going out
that night or meeting for lunch that day, it's okay
to say, hey, can I get a rain check. I'm
just not feeling it. Yeah, sometimes you just have to
do that.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yes, absolutely, Okay. Number four and this is an easy
one for me. Physical rest, So the difference between passive
sleep and napping and active rest, which is yoga, stretching,
massage for midlife bodies.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yeah, absolutely, or just even just sitting on the couch,
which I have a really hard time. I mean everyone,
anyone in my family will joke about the fact that
I can't sit still for a long period of time.
I think I've gotten better as I've gotten older, because I,
you know, my body can't do what it always did,
and I by the end of the day, if I've
been doing a lot of like physical labor or you know,
(13:04):
a lot of running around, or I feel it and
I just have to sit down. But physical rest for me,
I think is a tough one because I do feel
the need to constantly be moving, right, and I think
a lot of people are that way.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Right, There's just so much, especially if you're working. For me,
it's the weekends. A perfect weekend for me is having
one day of staying in my pajama, no commitment and
no commitments, nothing that I have to do. Maybe I'll
throw in a load of laundry or run a load
of dishes through the dishwasher or something like that.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
But I can still binge watch your favorite show.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Charging favorite shows is a really bad habit that I've
gotten into. That is a perfect weekend for me is
when I have a whole day just to you know,
not be with the grandchildren, not cook a family dinner,
not you know, hang out with my friends.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Right just I can count on one hand many times
a year I do that, and that's I know, that's crazy.
But Page is thrilled because that's her favorite thing to do,
and she's like, you, like, ideal weekend, just sit around
binge watch shows. Not too long ago, we had one
(14:16):
of those days. We were just both really tired and
we watched like three movies back to back, which is
unheard of for me. But she was like, oh my gosh,
this is amazing. And it felt good.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
It did.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
It felt really good. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Yeah, yeah, because even this weekend, you've been busy. You're
helping a neighbor sell your house, watching windows, doing all
that kind of stuff, and I'm just like, wow, it's
making me tired just thinking about it. Not that I
even go home and do my own windows. That's funny.
I just look at your windows. They're probably clean.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I don't look. I don't think they are right now,
I don't, but I do try to do it a
couple times a year, do you Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I buy the spray on the outside. Do you get
that that you can spray through even your screens and
it washes them down. So that's good for me.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Great.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah. Sometimes I like physical activities and I feel good,
I feel productive. But then there's days where I don't,
you know, and I want to just take a break
for a day. But I didn't realize the physical rest
part of it and how important that is.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yeah, it definitely is. And again, like you said, it
can be doing something like stretching or yoga. It doesn't
have to be like rest like not doing anything anything.
It can be something that's very calming, but you're also
benefiting from the action.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
So the next one, this is huge for me, and
I think this kind of ties into setting boundaries responsibility rest.
This is nothing I've ever thought of before.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Right, the burden of caregiving work and household duties, how
to delegate and take breaks without guilt, And I think
that's the important part. Is without guilt.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I think that, and I am such a perfectionist that
I want to do it myself and I know that
I'm overloading myself. My plate is full, and i know,
like I mean, my kids and my partner will say, hey,
let me, let me do this, and I'm like, no, no, no,
because i want it done the way I want it done.
(16:19):
I'm just too too much like for me, it just
drives me crazy, Like if they did it, and it's like, oh,
that's so sweet, that's so kind, But I really want
to go back and do it the way I do it,
you know, And I need to let go of that
because I'm not getting that responsibility rest, you know. And
I'm just afraid of letting all that go because I'm
(16:39):
so you know, such a perfectionist and so obsessed with
how I thinks.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I'm a control freak. Yeah, yeah, maybe not a perfectionist,
but more of a control freak. And but like you said,
if somebody else helped, thank you, But then it's not
done the way you want it to be done, and
maybe you have to redo it later or if not,
you're just thinking about it and I don't.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
And yeah, and I think too, We've talked about this
a few times. You and I we still are very
very involved with our kids. Yes they're all adults, but
we're still very involved and we still feel the need
to take care of them. I'm using quote air quotes
air quotes, And that's one thing I've learned in the
(17:22):
last year that I've been going to therapy is that
I need to let go of some of that I need, like,
and it's not because they're putting that burden on me.
It's because of me. That's how I feel, and I
don't realize how taxing that is on me, and so
I really have to set boundaries and be like, you
know what, They're going to be fine, they'll figure it out, right,
(17:43):
you know, and you just need to stop taking on
everyone's weight. Yes, you know. So I think that's a
huge one too, that.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
It is huge, and I apparently it's made this top
list right of our top eight, right, So it's huge,
and I don't think it's top of mind for everybody.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Like I said, I when I went through this, that
was one that I never really thought about, yea, But
obviously I had already discussed with my therapist and I
was like, oh, I guess that is part of rest.
So so many parts of rest.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yeah, I like for six on the list is sensory rest.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
This goes into like too much screen time?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I think, yes, managing overstimulation in a tech driven world.
You know, whether it's screen free time, dim lighting, silence,
nature walks. I think nature walks are really important.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Oh absolutely, especially you know what, it's fun if you
have grass, which we do a lot of people in Arizona.
Don't just see you I'll know, right, it's actually really
fun to take your shoes and socks off and go
walk on the grass and it's kind of like you're grounding.
It feels so nice, and I just don't do it
that often, so when I do, I'm like, wow, this
(18:53):
feels so good. You know. I think things like that, Like,
you know, I do.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
The same thing, and I love grass. I just have
a small patch of it, but I had to have it.
And I've noticed recently because our weather is warming up,
not that it ever gets cold here, but it actually
feels good to lay out in the sun. So my
house is funny because it does get cool overnight, but
then it heats up during the day, so we're not
using heat or air. But the house gets chilly in
(19:20):
the morning, and I keep it closed up so that
it stays cool when it gets hotter in the afternoon.
So in the mornings, as i'm working, I'll try to
take a break and I'll go out and lay out
on the deck by the pool. N or it's not
a deck, but I'll lay out by the pool where
I have these sand pavers. And I've noticed the same
(19:40):
with the grass that when I sit there, I'll flex
my toes on the pavers and to me, I'm a
beach person, so you can feel the sand in the pavers.
There's just something very relaxing to me about that. The
grass too, because I have to walk through the grass
to tee there, and I'll always do it and barefoot.
(20:01):
But that is something that helps me.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, I think that's I think that's a that gives
you multiple rests, you know, whether it's mental, physical, but yeah,
I think just taking time to sit in nature wherever
you are. I mean, you know, even if you're in
the city, there's somewhere you can find right it gives
you some kind of rest.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
We have a lot of mountain trails and things I
enjoy riding my bike and now that the weather's nice,
even though it's not in nature so to speak. Just
getting being outside right right, and noticing the neighbors. I'm
noticing a lot of my neighbors. I'm feeling the need
to update my house because I've seen all the neighbors
(20:45):
are how nice and all the work that they're doing.
But I also live near mountains and stuff, so but
there's a lot of trees and vegetation right and things.
But and I'm also getting exercise and.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Getting you off your phone and away for your computer
and the TV and those things that are really distracting.
I always joke with Page that her world is so
loud because she's always listening to music or watching a
show or playing a video game. Like wherever she goes,
her phone is making some kind of noise. And I
(21:20):
just think you ever want to just like I mean,
I'll drive in my car sometimes with no music, nothing
and just enjoy the piece quiet. Yeah, the quiet.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
My son comes over and I can't stand it. He
has two phones and they have different times for different things,
and they're constantly going off. And he has that ring,
that doorbell ringing where it chimes all the time, and
I'm just like How does that.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Not drive you insane? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
How does that not drive you crazy?
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah? A lot of my notifications are turned off. I
have my ring, you know when people call, and I
have a little sound when I get a text, but
I don't have a sound for email. I don't have
a sound for social medi which I don't really get
on anyway, because then it's just crazy. Yea, then it's insane.
Your your phone's constantly going on.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
And I often will turn off my phone because I'm
at work, I'm in a meeting or something. But then
I'll forget to turn it back right, so it's off
and I don't even notice it. I enjoy that. And
I'm not one that carries my phone around with me
all the day. I'll set it on the counter. And
but yeah, screen time I think is really important right
(22:28):
now on computers all day. And as our most recent
guest was just talking about the blue light all right,
that damage which I didn't really think.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
About damage your eyes, but I didn't realize it could
actually damage your skin too.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Right, right, But I think there's something with you know,
RESTful and.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Mind from that absolutely. Yeah, the next one is overthinking
rest I don't think I'm too terrible in this area.
I have a couple of my kids are and it's like, okay,
just stop, you know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Well letting go of mental loops, decision fatigue, and okay,
analysis paralysis with relax rest techniques, I do need some
mental rest. I think mental loops.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, I did that all the time.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And I had a friend of mine who's also in midlife,
and for whatever reason, she has mental loops of an
X that go through her mind years later after the breakup,
and she was speaking with someone about it and said,
they're taking up space in my mind and they're not
even paying rent. And I thought that was very interesting
(23:47):
that she would say that.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Yeah, yeah, but the mental loops, it's like she can't
make it stop. And I get that not over my ex,
thank goodness, but just of things that are happening, yea
life or yeah, something that you know, happened at work
and I just can't get that mental loop from stop going.
Or if I'm worried about a child or a grand
(24:09):
child and those mental loops or what I struggle with
the most. So I can definitely see how I can
relate to that getting that under control.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah, I think sometimes that's you know, one thing I
tell my kids when they do it, you know, is
this something that you have control of? And if it's not,
is it something that you're going to be you know,
that's going to be affecting you or you're going to
be worrying about in two weeks or six months.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
If the answer is no to all of those, then
it's not that big a deal, right, Stop overthinking it.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I know sometimes it's easier said than die.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Now, but though I think sometimes you have to pause
and ask yourself those questions so that you can kind
of put yourself at ease a little bit and go, Okay,
you know what, I'm making this bigger than it is, right.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You know. Yeah, And for me, confronting this is reason
is very very healing for me and will eliminate that
mental loop. Whether it's something that happened at work, then
I'll just reach out to that individual or whatever and
just you know, talk through it. And I'm always the
one that takes a high road just because I don't
(25:16):
want that dark cloud hanging right or that mental loop
to continue to write. I'm really sorry, you know, if
I overstepped or you know, because I messed up or
whatever it is, and then I feel better immediately.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Well, and we've talked too about a lot of changes
that happen in your mid life. So and my son's
not near his midlife yet, but he recently was laid
off from work, and you know, he started to panic
and he had about five weeks to figure things out,
and he's getting, you know, a very generous severance package,
and so he's not going to be floundering. But he
(25:54):
instantly panicked and could not stop thinking about it and
was interviewing and found a job and knew when he
was going to start it was right. He got laid off,
and he was, but he's still just had this hanging
over him, and he just kept stressing. And I'm like, listen,
ask yourself these three questions. You know, you already have
a job lined up. You can't control anything else at
this point. You've done what you can do.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
He was probably suffering from.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, yes, absolutely, like like it's been resolved.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Right, but you're still still was mental losing Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
So that's a good one. That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
And the last one on our list is number eight.
Creative rest Reigniting inspiration and joy through art music, nature,
or simply allowing yourself time to daydream.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
That is really cool because I think for a lot
of people it's very therapeutic. Paige loves to play guitar,
she loves Right now, she's working.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
A lot of outlets she does.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
She's working on a really cool collage where she's clipping
things out of magazines and creating different pictures with pieces
of those pictures. Those are her releases. You know, that's
very therapeutic for her, and right, right, and she's very creative,
and I think, you know, I wish I was a
little more like I'm.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Not creative at all.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
I think my creativity is more like decorating or painting,
or you know, finding a piece of furniture I can
clean up. That's one for page two. Yeah, there's a
lot of different things as far as creativity goes, but
it can be very therapeutic.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah, And I found that in midlife these last few years,
I don't daydream as much as I used to write.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I feel the same way. I did it a lot
when I was younger, So.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Did I, so did I, and so now I think
I have to think about it before I do it
and kind of not force myself to but just make
it happen where I used to come so natural, I.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Think because when we were younger, it was like what's
our what are we going to be?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Like?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
What's our life going to be?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Like?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
What do I want my life to look like? And
now it's like I kind of I think about, you know,
my future, which is I guess I would be thinking
about when I retire, and it's kind of daunting. Yes,
but I need to daydream. I need to glorify that
like I did when I was younger, that like, this
is what I want. I want to own a home, Yes,
I want you know what I mean? I should still
(28:17):
do that.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah. Yeah, I think that midlife, for whatever reason, and
probably exactly what you just spoke of, I find that
I don't daydream as often, which I am a big daydreamer.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah, looking to the future should not be daunting.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yeah, no, it shouldn't. It shouldn't. Well, share your personal
experiences with us on different types of rest, how menopause
and midlife changes have affected the need for these different
types of rest in your life. Drop us a chat
on any of our social channels. We would love to
hear from you.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Well, that wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining
us on Let's Talk Midlife Crisis. We hope you got
some laughs, a little inspiration, and maybe a few new.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I If you've loved today's episode, hit that subscribe button
so you'll never miss an episode, and hey, share the love.
Send this episode to a friend who could use a
good laugh and some midlife wisdom.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Connect with us on social media at Let's Talk Midlife
Crisis and let us know what's on your mind. We
love hearing from you.
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