April 8, 2025 • 29 mins
What happens when women in midlife stop suffering in silence and start building powerful communities? The answer is Act Three Convening, a revolutionary global platform created by former JPMorgan executive India Gary Martin.In this illuminating conversation, India reveals how her 25-year corporate career and subsequent coaching practice exposed a critical gap: senior women weren't struggling with work itself, but with everything making work harder - from caretaking responsibilities to menopause symptoms, from shifting relationships to the sudden invisibility that comes with aging. These observations sparked her mission to create spaces where women could find both community and practical solutions.The Act Three Convening (happening June 4-6 in Washington DC) uniquely structures conversations around brief provocations followed by facilitated discussions where participants choose topics most relevant to their lives. This innovative format acknowledges that while menopause significantly impacts women's experiences, it's just one aspect of midlife that intersects with financial planning, career transitions, relationship evolution, and identity shifts.What makes this approach particularly powerful is its global perspective, bringing women together from Australia, the Middle East, South Africa, the UK, India and beyond to share diverse solutions while recognizing our shared humanity. The conversations tackle subjects many women find themselves navigating without preparation: financial independence after decades of partnership, dating in later life (the "later daters"), housing decisions, professional relevance, and finding purpose in this new chapter.As India powerfully reminds us, "We know how to do this. We are so resourceful." Her advice to acknowledge our power before facing challenges provides a roadmap for approaching midlife uncertainties with confidence rather than anxiety. Join this movement of women who refuse to be defined by limitations and instead are creating vibrant, intentional third acts.Source:https://www.act3convening.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Let's talk midlife Crisis. I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy.
We're your go to hosts for all things midlife, menopause
and moments of Pure Mayhew. And today we have a
special guest with us, India. Gary Martin, founder of Act three,
convening Welcome. India, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I'm so excited to be here with both of you.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
We're excited to have you Yes, yes, and talk more
about Act three and the event that's coming up and
how it all began.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, I'd love to so, I am.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
It's an interesting I'm going to tell you how I
describe myself. I am somebody who has always been very
focused on women and women's issues.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I think about my corporate career.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
I was in corporate for twenty five years before I
became a now three time entrepreneur, third company in Wow.
Speaker 5 (00:58):
Congratulations, I thank.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
You, thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
But when I started my corporate career, I remember back
it was like I would say, nineteen ninety seven. I
started well before that, but nineteen ninety seven we started
talking about women at work more openly, and so I
jump on that bandwagon very quickly. Have always been very
focused on women in the workplace in the first instance,
(01:22):
and when I left my corporate career, I was an
investment banking for twenty five years. My last job, I
was the CEO of Technology and Operations for Jpmorkan Group globally.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
But I needed to.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Do something different, and so a lot of my work
now is focused on leadership, advisory, executive coaching and helping
leaders need better leaders around the world.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
So I enjoyed that work.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
But here's the thing, and this is how AC three
came out, and it kind of lends itself to my history.
As I was doing a lot of my coaching, I
recognized that a lot of the senior women that I
was working with, the conversations we were having were never
about work. Really when we were coaching, it was always
about the things that made it challenging for them to
do their work right. And so like caretaking, it was
(02:07):
you know, my father has dementia.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I'm trying to.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Figure out where I'm going to how I'm going to
manage that. And in the same breath, and this weekend
I'm away because my or my daughter has a volleyball
tournament and my son has a baseball tournament or whatever
it might be, and there was that balancing. It was
the changing nature of my relationship. I'm in my fifties.
My husband and I have decided after thirty five years,
or wife decided after thirty five years that, you know,
(02:31):
we're not going to be together anymore. And now I'm
mentoring this new phase of my life and I don't
know how to manage that. Or I now have adult
children that I'm trying to manage who were used to
be children now they're adults, or you know, identity.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I'm no longer seen as a young.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Vibrant woman in the way that I was, and the
invisibility is really hitting me.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
It was all these things menopause obviously, which is unshine
at the moment.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
There were all these things around women and their ability
to be able to function, and I thought, we need
a community, and that's where AC three was born.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 5 (03:05):
It is.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I love that it is.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Yeah, and that's one of the reasons why we started
this podcast as well, was to create a community of
like minded women, primarily women that are going through midlife
and all.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
That that encompasses.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, we have a pretty you know, unique group of
friends where we're all It ranges from you know, forties
to sixties, seventies and seventies, and you know, and it's
so and so we're all kind of in different phases
of that, you know, mid life, I guess you could say.
And so we would have these discussions with each other
(03:41):
and it was like, we need to we need to
create a group, you know, a community, like you said, so, yeah,
I think it's great that a lot of people are
doing this now.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, it's so important.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
It's really important that I think the overarching theme that
comes up for me, it's isolation. Yeah, feel like they're
going through it alone. And that community at this age
is really really important, and creating spaces where people can
get solutions is really really important.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
And so I Act three for me was about a first, like.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Community so people know they're walking's journey alone across all
of those things. Second, it's about providing solutions and hearing
other people's stories because you know, and we were I've
been having this conversation with folks over and over and
it's been so funny because you know, our sessions are
twenty minutes each, Our plenary sessions of twenty minutes. Because
I'm like, I have I did not have the attention
span we're talking.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
I don't either. I don't need that.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
And on top of that, every time I go to
these kind of things, I'm really interested in the person
sitting next to me, often more so than people who
are on the stage. And so we have twenty minute provocations,
whatever that might be for each of the things, and
then we go into spaces depending on.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
What's important important to us.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
As an example, on the women's health and wellness, we
have a panel of medical experts kind of talking about various.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Things, and then at the end of the twenty minutes,
you get to choose.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I want to go into the room that's talking about cancers,
I want to go into the room about mental health,
I want to go into the room about menopause, or
I want to go into the room about cardiovascular and
kind of hypertension. So you can make decisions about where
you want to go based upon what's interesting, what you're
interested in.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
And in those rooms we're.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Having conversations, facilitated conversations. It's not people talking at you
and giving you a download of information. It is giving
you solutions, but also creating community with people who are
experiencing exactly what's your.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Experience Yeah, that's great. I love that. And the conference
is coming up early June, is that correct?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
June fourth to sixth, Okay, you see at the Washington Hilton,
DC at.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
The Washington Hilton, okay.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
And the website where you can sign up or just
find out more information about it is at three convening
dot com and the link to that will be in
our show notes. We're very excited about it because this
is exactly what we've been talking about for the last
couple of years.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
We're excited, not sure if we're going to be able
to make.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
It or not.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
The calendars.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I have a graduation that week, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
But the fact that you're talking about mental health and
caregiving and those types of things on top of menopause,
because although we talk a lot about menopause and perimenopause
and hormones and things like that, but there's so many
other factors that are happening to women at the stage
(06:27):
of life, and to be surrounded by other individuals that
are going through the same types of things is exactly
the community that we are striving to build.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
Yeah, and this is also global. Your conference is also global,
correct it is?
Speaker 4 (06:46):
I think you're I mean, you hit the nail on
the head, Like menopause is hugely important obviously, and it
underpins a lot of the physiological and biological things that
we experience, but those things actually influence all the other
things I talked about, right Whereas you know, when I
was thirty, you're thirty five. It was a lot easier
for me to navigate the three sixty care taking thing.
(07:06):
Now that I'm fifty five, I'm like, what is going on?
You know, my form all over the place. I'm raging.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I have raged.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
That is my symptom. Yeah, right, no hot flashes. You know,
people have different symptoms. But my point is that we
made a really conscious decision that whilst menopause is important,
it is not the thing like it's actually people need
solutions about that, but they also need solutions about all
the things that women inevitably phase and that we don't
(07:34):
get to choose it either, Like you don't get to
choose whether or not you're ever going to go into menopause.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
You often don't get to.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Choose whether or not you're going to be looking after
you know, family or whomever it is.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
You're not going to be able to choose that.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
We start to lose people at a certain point in
our lives and what the grief and healing of.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That feels like.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
There are all of those things that are impacted by menopause, but.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Aren't minimaures, right, right, That's so true, a little.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Nature of that, right because we have a we're global,
we are a global organization. We have global ambassadors who
are bringing people from Australia, the UAE, and Middle East,
South Africa, the UK.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I'm like trying to go through the wall in my head.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Wow, global ambassadors India, forgot India, who are bringing people
from those places. And the part of the reason that
we did that was a couple. One is that women
face the same issues.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
No matter where you are in the world.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
And the second one for me particularly, which is very
important to me, is that you know, we, particularly in
the US, are in a very divided place in space
based upon people's beliefs, and for me, these the things
that we're talking about, we are the things that unite us.
And so I was like, let's get as many different
women from as many walks of life, like whoever you are,
(08:51):
You're welcome into this space, so that we can create
solutions and not do division and do kind of like
the joy of also being women at this stage of
our life.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Wow, I love that. And that also creates a space
where people can bring a lot of other ideas or
you know, these cultures, a lot of them have different
ways of dealing with things, and you know, a lot
of time we're not aware of those things. So it's
great that you're bringing everyone together to have those discussions
and to really help each other out and like you said,
support each other.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
We have to figure it out, right, we have to
figure out how to be together and how to and
how to march this walk together and understand that, you know,
regardless of your beliefs, that ultimately we're all humans who
have human goals, you know, and that is really to
protect ourselves, to be healthy, to be happy. You know,
most people want that, but there are very few people
(09:42):
who don't. It's just that we have different ways of
that happening for us and what it means for us.
And if we can connect people based still on their
humanity and women particularly who have to go through all
these things, then we kind of we get to understand
that there's more that united than devis us.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yes, yeah, we got to take care of each other.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
We do to learn and a lot of women don't
know where to go for these resources, so the fact
that you're compiling them all into one another. One that
really intrigues me personally is the financial discussions and focus
for you know, maybe it's retirement, which is what I
am focused on right now, and the impact of the
(10:22):
stock market crashing right when it's time for me, you know,
when it's about my deb right, I would welcome you know,
some insights and you know, to talk to experts about
it that can provide practical advice.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
Thing that.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, absolutely, it's very important to.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Me as well. And we've talked a little bit about we.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Have Yeah, yeah, continue, I mean, I think so that
is a key thing for us because again what I've recognized.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
And having conversations with lots of women, so we have.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
It started with me and the people that I work with,
and then it kind of expanded to our focus groups
and we also have an advisory board, all of whom
are kind of women who have been some worked in
some shape or form, and someone who stayed at home too.
I think that it just kind of depends on what
your circumstance is. But the point is, regardless of what
the circumstance might have been a lot of women, especially
(11:13):
of a certain generation, and that I would say, you know,
women in the fifties and sixties at this stage of
the game, a lot of us had husbands who took
care of the financial or financials a lot of us, right,
And then you find yourself at a point where you know,
and sometimes that might still be the case, but for a.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Lot of women it's not the case anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
It's shifting like if you if you're a divorced, if
you're widowed, if you know, whatever, for whatever reason that
might be. And so we've never, as women from early
in our lives often kind of en mass been given
the tools to be able to manage our financials in a.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Way that helps us to prepare for the future.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
We couldn't even have credit cards until nineteen seventy four, right,
And so if you think that's our life, it is that.
And so a part of Act three is also meeting,
meeting women where they are and not with no judgment
about what you know or don't know, And how do
we help you prepare to be.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Financially fit as we enter the space of our lives.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Right, Yeah, that's crazy to think about. I think too,
Like to your point, you know a lot of the
women that had their partner that was, you know, managing
all the finances, and they were focused more on the
kids' schedules and you know, taking care of them. And yeah,
and that's not always because of you know what, that's
(12:29):
how it was. It's sometimes that's just what works for people, right,
And then when your kids start to move out, you're
suddenly like, Okay, now I want to be more involved
in our lives together, you know, now it's us. And yeah,
I think that some women do want to get involved,
but they don't know how, you know. So No, I
(12:49):
think that's amazing because it's that's really one thing that
I've not thought much about, mainly because I raised three
kids by myself, so I took care of everything.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yeah, and that there's that, But there's also this notion
of like, Okay, I have three kids. I have three
kids too, And I was like, there's this notion of
having three kids and then being like, Okay, now that
they're all gone, do I need this space?
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
What does that plan mean for how and where I live?
That's what we're having like where do I go?
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Where do I live, Yeah, now that I have these
like some you know, my kids are fifteen, twenty, and
twenty six, and I'm like, my twenty six year old
is well off on his own doing his own thing.
My twenty year old's out the door at college. I
have one left. And then I'm like, but then I'm like,
what about my parents? What about blah blah? And it's
all these decisions that you make about what you're going
(13:40):
to do, you know, about all the things that impact
you financially.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Right where you live.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And it might not be a time financially to make
a change, you know, to buy a home, a different
home or something like that. So there's a lot of
things that you have to consider. But that's one thing
I did in the last couple of years is my downsized,
you know, from a huge four bedroom house to one level,
three bedroom. It's like the perfect size. Yeah, still have
(14:07):
a spare room if a kid needs to come back,
but you know, so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
And you know, with relationships as well, as you grow older,
if you've been married for a long time, you're much
different at twenty five than you are at fifty five.
And I think that you had said that as recently
as well. Yeah, so to be able to focus on
that as well too, and we've touched on that a
little bit. You know, getting to know your.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Partner again right without the children.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
And your new life together, new life together.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I think it can be a little bit scary for
a lot of women, right.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You know it's really interesting.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Yes, I think that is spot on, but you know,
the thing that's going to emerge more and we're actually
leaning into a little bit more, there is that for sure,
but it's the later daters. The later daters are taking
center stage because women are like, wait now, like I'm
fifty five dating, you know, or whatever it is, or
I'm sixty up dates whatever it is. You know, the
later the dating relationships or the coupling relationships at this
(15:09):
age is a really interesting thing.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
So in our podcast, in the Act Free Pod.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Which only runs up until the convening, so it's not
a longer term thing for us, but we have a
woman called Francesca Hoogi who has book coming out with Fabulous,
but it's about that dating piece and what how you
do that as you age and so you know it's
going to be a really interesting conversation because what do
you do and how do.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
You do it? And here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
There are some people who are who have been single intentionally.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
There's others for whom it's happened. What do you do?
How do you do this?
Speaker 4 (15:43):
And how do you navigate this thing at this stage?
Because here's the thing, most of us know what we
don't want.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
For sure, Yeah you don't want it comes how.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Do you figure out what you do and then what
do you take to make like really intentional decisions about
what that looks like for you in the future.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
And for me, I'm a later dater. But apps, dating apps,
I am not comfortable with dating apps, and that's how
it's done, seems to be.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, that's the way people meet now.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
We've had a couple of episodes on alternative means of
meeting people, like the time left app Dinner with strangers
was something that I felt passionate about that I've actually
tried with a friend of mine a couple of times
where you you sign up and there's a specific destination
a restaurant.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
And there's a couple of tables of you know, six
or twelve people and you go to have dinner.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And just meet people, meet people and.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Have conversations and even if there's no connections, you are
out there meeting people, which I think is also important
later in life. Maybe you don't have you're not as
close with your friends anymore, or you were you were
from home, you were from home, or you know, you're
retired own so your mom, friends, everybody has, you know, changed,
(17:04):
their lives have evolved, and you may not be as
close anymore.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
So it's a good way to meet people as well,
or just to have something to talk about.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, true, Yeah, sure, I like that term though. Later daters. Yeah, yeah, there's.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
A documentary there's not documented. It's a reality show on
Netflix called The Later Daters. It's fantastic. If you haven't
seen it, it's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I would love to see that.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
It's so funny, but it's it's wonderful. And I think
that this freedom, you know, now, for us to be
able to do that and talk about it openly, is
so important to take the stigma away from like being
a person who's in their fifties or sixties or seventies
or eighties or however world you are right dating, you know,
not making necessarily making a marital commitment or being with
(17:50):
somebody long term and deciding that I like being with you,
but I don't need to marry you. And then some
people are in that space and that's okay too. I
think those kinds of like opening those doors and opening
that conversation and breaking the stigma and making it okay
for women to make choices that benefit us. Yes, intentionally
is the whole purpose of this, whatever that might look like.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Yeah, yeah, and really important conversations that I think will
be helpful to people.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Awesome, yeah, and fun, yeah, very top of everything to
be fun.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
But also those that are maybe changing careers in midlife
as well. That's a huge topic.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
And I know Ashley is in the process of maybe
changing her career.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
It's been something that you've talked about for a little while,
and going into real estate versus what you've been.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I'm in sales already. Yeah, so, but but.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Work transitions all in general, right.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, And I think too, this is something that has
happened to me personally, and I'm assuming there's a lot
of people and well you you had said you were,
you know, working for Corporate America for such a long time,
and you were like, I got to do something different.
I kind of am in that same space. I worked
for Corporate America for many, many years. Now I own
(19:08):
my own company, but it's in the same business. I've
been in the industry for almost thirty years, and I'm
just I'm kind of burned out, you know. I'm like
at this place where I'm like, okay, I you know,
I'm in my late forties. I you know, if I'm
going to make a change, I feel like it should
be now, and so yeah, you know, I think a
(19:31):
lot of people get to that point where it's like
should I make a change or should I just write
it out? You know, But you don't want to get
to a point where you're just not even really performing
or you're miserable or you know, like you used to
because you're so over it and you just need something different.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
No, I think you know, you're so right.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
There's a woman who'll be speaking an Act three from
the UK called Bianca the Best, who.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Wrote a book about burning out. That is one of ours.
That's one of the things, like, you know, you it's
it's it's.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
So important that whole knowing when that's happening for you
and knowing the steps to take it is such a
kind of stumble you know, you're kind of like fall
here and they are trying to get Yeah, like you think,
don't know what's safe, and there's the financial implications of
making a new choice age two. They're all these things
that we're all kind of like, huh, but we do.
(20:24):
We're talking a lot about work trap because a lot
of women who are in their fifties particularly, but but
again going into your sixties are like, you know, a
do I just stay and write it out and do
what's safe? But I know that like in my mind,
I'm losing it entirely having to stay in this place.
Or do I you know, kind of take a risk
(20:44):
on something that may or may not pay off and
risks some of what I'm what I might have.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
To retire on, or you know what that looks like.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
And so you know, I think it's hugely brave for
people to step out. And I will say this though,
as an entrepreneur for the third time, I always say
to folks, you know, depending on what you're doing, I
would not suggest this is horrible, say I would not
suggest to become an entrepreneur for the first time at
this age because for me, even at this age, like
(21:12):
it's like hanging off the edge of a cliff all
the time, like, because when you're selling something and you're
selling it for yourself, you're in a buying cycle and
taking the risk that people want to buy what you
want to what you're selling when you need them to
buy it right, and that could really.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Triggering right Absolutely, it's thinking about.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
All of the options that you have around what's next,
and those transitions can be really jarring when you have
to sometimes make a choice.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
It's particularly driven by financial situation.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Rhether or not you can and deciding how much you're
prepared to risk and what your red line is against
that risk if you step out of what you do
and need to work through it. So those are all
conversations that we're absolutely having right now.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
And for me in my industry, it's all about I'm
fighting against being aged aging out right, Like I'm not
going to be aged out, And I think that's one
of the reasons what keeps me in my industry because
there is that fear of somebody, you know, of my age,
(22:16):
trying to compete with these younger twenty somethings that will
work you know, for a quarter of what I made
right and are like sponges that absorb everything. And even
as somebody who hires individuals, you think that when you're
you know, interviewing people, are they going to be said
in their ways or are they going to be you.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Know, easier to mold.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
But for me, it's all about not being aged out
right at this phase of my life.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
And it's just I always say, riding the wave out, yeah,
you know, to retirement.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
But it's kind of scary, right is, especially with the economy,
I might be facing you know, layoffs in the coming year,
depending on what happens, you know in the US with
our Yeah, it's a potential risk for me, and that
creates anxiety.
Speaker 5 (23:04):
So there's just you know, so much that we're dealing with.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Yeah, yeah, I mean the recession in the US is
also recession across the world because we're such a lead
indicator of what's going to happen in the world, and
you know, that is a worry I think for a
lot of people, a lot of places, and as we
get older, we rely on systems a lot more, especially
you know, after we kind of finish working. You know,
we're relying on you know, especially in the US where
(23:28):
our health system is so expensive, like you're kind of
like me to make sure that you have all those
ducts in a row right out of your workplace. And
so it is really scary on more than just a
loss of income. It's like, how do I, you know,
take care of things I need to take care of,
especially if you don't have somebody else in your home
who has that thing that you might need, right and
(23:50):
you're on your own dealing with it.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
And a lot of us are in that position.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
And so you know, the the what I will say
is that at something that I often say to women
when I'm coaching them is that you.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Know, we know how to do this. That's the thing.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
We know how to do this, and we are so resourceful,
right and and we've had a lot of us have
had to make a way out of no way, and
I'll figure it out. And so you know, I just
I remind people of their power, women of their power. Particularly,
I mean, we can give birth to humans, we can
do a lot of things that are actually quite magical
(24:27):
and them and do all of the things that you know,
ensure that we have people who are contributing to our society.
And so you know, I remind us of our power.
First and then the challenge next, Because if we can
kind of sit in our power and think about what's
really important, which is us and our families and our
(24:48):
ability to be able to put one foot in front
of the other and wake up every morning and breathe first,
then the other things are not inconsequential, but they become
less important.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, that's amazing. I like that. Think about your power
and then the challenge. I think a lot of us,
you know, can look back and think about times in
our lives where we just thought, I don't know how
I'm going to make this work. I don't know how.
I mean I became a single mom very young and
wasn't making a lot of money, was very early in
(25:18):
my career, and I just remember thinking, how am I
going to do this? I don't this is this is
not possible. I don't know how I'm going to do this.
And I just did it. It just I worked my
ass off, and you know, I was very determined to
give them the life that I wanted to give them
and make this a very easy transition for them too,
(25:39):
and give them, you know, still the amount of love
and everything that that they you know, it's it's a
big change. Not just for you, but you know, for them.
So it's like for me, it was about how am
I going to make this an easy time for all
of us? You know, right right? But I just I
think there's a lot of times that you can think
of back, you know, looking back where it's like, wow,
(26:01):
I did it like that, I was scared and I
did it here I am now, you know, And.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
I find myself having more anxiety later in life than
I ever did before. So you know, like you mentioned
having challenges when I was younger and not remembering being
so anxious.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Taking them in stride as I am now.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
So but I think that's all a part of promonal
challenges and just a combination of things.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
But yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
And so you mentioned a lot of books or several books.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
As we were talking, and you do have a link
on the website for the bookstore, so all of those
books that you mentioned earlier will be available through that
link as well. Is that correct, India?
Speaker 4 (26:45):
They will be close to the convening, so well, the
books close the convening.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
The bookstore is fantastic.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
We have a number of authors coming who are going
to be signing to which will be really fun.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Some great people who are like I don't know if
you've seen a Schmidt wh's fearlessly facing fifty.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Who will be on the on the platform. Rwanda Watts.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Do you remember her?
Speaker 5 (27:05):
She used?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah, talk she Rwanda will be on the platform. Wow.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Bianca and Bianca Best and Radia Rhodes and Leilani Brown.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
We have some amazing women. That's great.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Go and look up the names as I just mentioned,
the fabulous, fabulous women who are really helping move the
needle for women and so around this space and all
the things that we're doing. So I'm really excited to
have all of them and the books. A lot of
them are authors and all of their books will be
in our bookstore on site, and then post the convening,
(27:37):
the bookstore will go online so.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
You can go and see what we've curated for the time.
Speaker 5 (27:43):
That's so great. Wow.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
And again the event is June fourth through six and
it's being held in Washington, DC. You can find out
all of the information on ACT Threeconvening dot com and
again that link will be in our show notes. But
we highly recommend if you have the opportunity to go.
I think that this could actually be.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
Very life changing.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Yes, it sounds amazing.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yeah, on to the community, be there, be square.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
There you go, there you go. Well, thank you so
much for joining us today, India and sharing this event
with us. I think that because our platform does reach
a global audience, that this is something that's really going
to be very helpful for women in midlife.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Right. Yeah, thank you so much, India. It was great
to have you.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Thank you for having me. I so appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Well, that wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining
us on Let's Talk Midlife Crisis. We hope you got
some laughs, a little inspiration, and maybe a few new ideas.
Speaker 6 (28:45):
If you loved today's episode, hit that subscribe button so
you'll never miss an episode, and hey, share the love.
Send this episode to a friend who could use a
good laugh and some midlife wisdom.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Connect with us on social media at Let's Talk Midlife
Crisis and let us know what's on your mind. We
love hearing from you.
Welcome to Let's talk midlife Crisis. I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy.
We're your go to hosts for all things midlife, menopause
and moments of Pure Mayhew. And today we have a
special guest with us, India. Gary Martin, founder of Act three,
convening Welcome. India, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I'm so excited to be here with both of you.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
We're excited to have you Yes, yes, and talk more
about Act three and the event that's coming up and
how it all began.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, I'd love to so, I am.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
It's an interesting I'm going to tell you how I
describe myself. I am somebody who has always been very
focused on women and women's issues.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I think about my corporate career.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
I was in corporate for twenty five years before I
became a now three time entrepreneur, third company in Wow.
Speaker 5 (00:58):
Congratulations, I thank.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
You, thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
But when I started my corporate career, I remember back
it was like I would say, nineteen ninety seven. I
started well before that, but nineteen ninety seven we started
talking about women at work more openly, and so I
jump on that bandwagon very quickly. Have always been very
focused on women in the workplace in the first instance,
(01:22):
and when I left my corporate career, I was an
investment banking for twenty five years. My last job, I
was the CEO of Technology and Operations for Jpmorkan Group globally.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
But I needed to.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Do something different, and so a lot of my work
now is focused on leadership, advisory, executive coaching and helping
leaders need better leaders around the world.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
So I enjoyed that work.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
But here's the thing, and this is how AC three
came out, and it kind of lends itself to my history.
As I was doing a lot of my coaching, I
recognized that a lot of the senior women that I
was working with, the conversations we were having were never
about work. Really when we were coaching, it was always
about the things that made it challenging for them to
do their work right. And so like caretaking, it was
(02:07):
you know, my father has dementia.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I'm trying to.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Figure out where I'm going to how I'm going to
manage that. And in the same breath, and this weekend
I'm away because my or my daughter has a volleyball
tournament and my son has a baseball tournament or whatever
it might be, and there was that balancing. It was
the changing nature of my relationship. I'm in my fifties.
My husband and I have decided after thirty five years,
or wife decided after thirty five years that, you know,
(02:31):
we're not going to be together anymore. And now I'm
mentoring this new phase of my life and I don't
know how to manage that. Or I now have adult
children that I'm trying to manage who were used to
be children now they're adults, or you know, identity.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I'm no longer seen as a young.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Vibrant woman in the way that I was, and the
invisibility is really hitting me.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
It was all these things menopause obviously, which is unshine
at the moment.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
There were all these things around women and their ability
to be able to function, and I thought, we need
a community, and that's where AC three was born.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 5 (03:05):
It is.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I love that it is.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Yeah, and that's one of the reasons why we started
this podcast as well, was to create a community of
like minded women, primarily women that are going through midlife
and all.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
That that encompasses.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, we have a pretty you know, unique group of
friends where we're all It ranges from you know, forties
to sixties, seventies and seventies, and you know, and it's
so and so we're all kind of in different phases
of that, you know, mid life, I guess you could say.
And so we would have these discussions with each other
(03:41):
and it was like, we need to we need to
create a group, you know, a community, like you said, so, yeah,
I think it's great that a lot of people are
doing this now.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, it's so important.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
It's really important that I think the overarching theme that
comes up for me, it's isolation. Yeah, feel like they're
going through it alone. And that community at this age
is really really important, and creating spaces where people can
get solutions is really really important.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
And so I Act three for me was about a first, like.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Community so people know they're walking's journey alone across all
of those things. Second, it's about providing solutions and hearing
other people's stories because you know, and we were I've
been having this conversation with folks over and over and
it's been so funny because you know, our sessions are
twenty minutes each, Our plenary sessions of twenty minutes. Because
I'm like, I have I did not have the attention
span we're talking.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
I don't either. I don't need that.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
And on top of that, every time I go to
these kind of things, I'm really interested in the person
sitting next to me, often more so than people who
are on the stage. And so we have twenty minute provocations,
whatever that might be for each of the things, and
then we go into spaces depending on.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
What's important important to us.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
As an example, on the women's health and wellness, we
have a panel of medical experts kind of talking about various.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Things, and then at the end of the twenty minutes,
you get to choose.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I want to go into the room that's talking about cancers,
I want to go into the room about mental health,
I want to go into the room about menopause, or
I want to go into the room about cardiovascular and
kind of hypertension. So you can make decisions about where
you want to go based upon what's interesting, what you're
interested in.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
And in those rooms we're.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Having conversations, facilitated conversations. It's not people talking at you
and giving you a download of information. It is giving
you solutions, but also creating community with people who are
experiencing exactly what's your.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Experience Yeah, that's great. I love that. And the conference
is coming up early June, is that correct?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
June fourth to sixth, Okay, you see at the Washington Hilton,
DC at.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
The Washington Hilton, okay.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
And the website where you can sign up or just
find out more information about it is at three convening
dot com and the link to that will be in
our show notes. We're very excited about it because this
is exactly what we've been talking about for the last
couple of years.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
We're excited, not sure if we're going to be able
to make.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
It or not.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
The calendars.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I have a graduation that week, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
But the fact that you're talking about mental health and
caregiving and those types of things on top of menopause,
because although we talk a lot about menopause and perimenopause
and hormones and things like that, but there's so many
other factors that are happening to women at the stage
(06:27):
of life, and to be surrounded by other individuals that
are going through the same types of things is exactly
the community that we are striving to build.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
Yeah, and this is also global. Your conference is also global,
correct it is?
Speaker 4 (06:46):
I think you're I mean, you hit the nail on
the head, Like menopause is hugely important obviously, and it
underpins a lot of the physiological and biological things that
we experience, but those things actually influence all the other
things I talked about, right Whereas you know, when I
was thirty, you're thirty five. It was a lot easier
for me to navigate the three sixty care taking thing.
(07:06):
Now that I'm fifty five, I'm like, what is going on?
You know, my form all over the place. I'm raging.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I have raged.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
That is my symptom. Yeah, right, no hot flashes. You know,
people have different symptoms. But my point is that we
made a really conscious decision that whilst menopause is important,
it is not the thing like it's actually people need
solutions about that, but they also need solutions about all
the things that women inevitably phase and that we don't
(07:34):
get to choose it either, Like you don't get to
choose whether or not you're ever going to go into menopause.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
You often don't get to.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Choose whether or not you're going to be looking after
you know, family or whomever it is.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
You're not going to be able to choose that.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
We start to lose people at a certain point in
our lives and what the grief and healing of.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That feels like.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
There are all of those things that are impacted by menopause, but.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Aren't minimaures, right, right, That's so true, a little.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Nature of that, right because we have a we're global,
we are a global organization. We have global ambassadors who
are bringing people from Australia, the UAE, and Middle East,
South Africa, the UK.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I'm like trying to go through the wall in my head.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Wow, global ambassadors India, forgot India, who are bringing people
from those places. And the part of the reason that
we did that was a couple. One is that women
face the same issues.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
No matter where you are in the world.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
And the second one for me particularly, which is very
important to me, is that you know, we, particularly in
the US, are in a very divided place in space
based upon people's beliefs, and for me, these the things
that we're talking about, we are the things that unite us.
And so I was like, let's get as many different
women from as many walks of life, like whoever you are,
(08:51):
You're welcome into this space, so that we can create
solutions and not do division and do kind of like
the joy of also being women at this stage of
our life.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Wow, I love that. And that also creates a space
where people can bring a lot of other ideas or
you know, these cultures, a lot of them have different
ways of dealing with things, and you know, a lot
of time we're not aware of those things. So it's
great that you're bringing everyone together to have those discussions
and to really help each other out and like you said,
support each other.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
We have to figure it out, right, we have to
figure out how to be together and how to and
how to march this walk together and understand that, you know,
regardless of your beliefs, that ultimately we're all humans who
have human goals, you know, and that is really to
protect ourselves, to be healthy, to be happy. You know,
most people want that, but there are very few people
(09:42):
who don't. It's just that we have different ways of
that happening for us and what it means for us.
And if we can connect people based still on their
humanity and women particularly who have to go through all
these things, then we kind of we get to understand
that there's more that united than devis us.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yes, yeah, we got to take care of each other.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
We do to learn and a lot of women don't
know where to go for these resources, so the fact
that you're compiling them all into one another. One that
really intrigues me personally is the financial discussions and focus
for you know, maybe it's retirement, which is what I
am focused on right now, and the impact of the
(10:22):
stock market crashing right when it's time for me, you know,
when it's about my deb right, I would welcome you know,
some insights and you know, to talk to experts about
it that can provide practical advice.
Speaker 6 (10:37):
Thing that.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, absolutely, it's very important to.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Me as well. And we've talked a little bit about we.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Have Yeah, yeah, continue, I mean, I think so that
is a key thing for us because again what I've recognized.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
And having conversations with lots of women, so we have.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
It started with me and the people that I work with,
and then it kind of expanded to our focus groups
and we also have an advisory board, all of whom
are kind of women who have been some worked in
some shape or form, and someone who stayed at home too.
I think that it just kind of depends on what
your circumstance is. But the point is, regardless of what
the circumstance might have been a lot of women, especially
(11:13):
of a certain generation, and that I would say, you know,
women in the fifties and sixties at this stage of
the game, a lot of us had husbands who took
care of the financial or financials a lot of us, right,
And then you find yourself at a point where you know,
and sometimes that might still be the case, but for a.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Lot of women it's not the case anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
It's shifting like if you if you're a divorced, if
you're widowed, if you know, whatever, for whatever reason that
might be. And so we've never, as women from early
in our lives often kind of en mass been given
the tools to be able to manage our financials in a.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Way that helps us to prepare for the future.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
We couldn't even have credit cards until nineteen seventy four, right,
And so if you think that's our life, it is that.
And so a part of Act three is also meeting,
meeting women where they are and not with no judgment
about what you know or don't know, And how do
we help you prepare to be.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Financially fit as we enter the space of our lives.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Right, Yeah, that's crazy to think about. I think too,
Like to your point, you know a lot of the
women that had their partner that was, you know, managing
all the finances, and they were focused more on the
kids' schedules and you know, taking care of them. And yeah,
and that's not always because of you know what, that's
(12:29):
how it was. It's sometimes that's just what works for people, right,
And then when your kids start to move out, you're
suddenly like, Okay, now I want to be more involved
in our lives together, you know, now it's us. And yeah,
I think that some women do want to get involved,
but they don't know how, you know. So No, I
(12:49):
think that's amazing because it's that's really one thing that
I've not thought much about, mainly because I raised three
kids by myself, so I took care of everything.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yeah, and that there's that, But there's also this notion
of like, Okay, I have three kids. I have three
kids too, And I was like, there's this notion of
having three kids and then being like, Okay, now that
they're all gone, do I need this space?
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
What does that plan mean for how and where I live?
That's what we're having like where do I go?
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Where do I live, Yeah, now that I have these
like some you know, my kids are fifteen, twenty, and
twenty six, and I'm like, my twenty six year old
is well off on his own doing his own thing.
My twenty year old's out the door at college. I
have one left. And then I'm like, but then I'm like,
what about my parents? What about blah blah? And it's
all these decisions that you make about what you're going
(13:40):
to do, you know, about all the things that impact
you financially.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Right where you live.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And it might not be a time financially to make
a change, you know, to buy a home, a different
home or something like that. So there's a lot of
things that you have to consider. But that's one thing
I did in the last couple of years is my downsized,
you know, from a huge four bedroom house to one level,
three bedroom. It's like the perfect size. Yeah, still have
(14:07):
a spare room if a kid needs to come back,
but you know, so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
And you know, with relationships as well, as you grow older,
if you've been married for a long time, you're much
different at twenty five than you are at fifty five.
And I think that you had said that as recently
as well. Yeah, so to be able to focus on
that as well too, and we've touched on that a
little bit. You know, getting to know your.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Partner again right without the children.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
And your new life together, new life together.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I think it can be a little bit scary for
a lot of women, right.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You know it's really interesting.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Yes, I think that is spot on, but you know,
the thing that's going to emerge more and we're actually
leaning into a little bit more, there is that for sure,
but it's the later daters. The later daters are taking
center stage because women are like, wait now, like I'm
fifty five dating, you know, or whatever it is, or
I'm sixty up dates whatever it is. You know, the
later the dating relationships or the coupling relationships at this
(15:09):
age is a really interesting thing.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
So in our podcast, in the Act Free Pod.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Which only runs up until the convening, so it's not
a longer term thing for us, but we have a
woman called Francesca Hoogi who has book coming out with Fabulous,
but it's about that dating piece and what how you
do that as you age and so you know it's
going to be a really interesting conversation because what do
you do and how do.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
You do it? And here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
There are some people who are who have been single intentionally.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
There's others for whom it's happened. What do you do?
How do you do this?
Speaker 4 (15:43):
And how do you navigate this thing at this stage?
Because here's the thing, most of us know what we
don't want.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
For sure, Yeah you don't want it comes how.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Do you figure out what you do and then what
do you take to make like really intentional decisions about
what that looks like for you in the future.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
And for me, I'm a later dater. But apps, dating apps,
I am not comfortable with dating apps, and that's how
it's done, seems to be.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, that's the way people meet now.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
We've had a couple of episodes on alternative means of
meeting people, like the time left app Dinner with strangers
was something that I felt passionate about that I've actually
tried with a friend of mine a couple of times
where you you sign up and there's a specific destination
a restaurant.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
And there's a couple of tables of you know, six
or twelve people and you go to have dinner.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And just meet people, meet people and.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Have conversations and even if there's no connections, you are
out there meeting people, which I think is also important
later in life. Maybe you don't have you're not as
close with your friends anymore, or you were you were
from home, you were from home, or you know, you're
retired own so your mom, friends, everybody has, you know, changed,
(17:04):
their lives have evolved, and you may not be as
close anymore.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
So it's a good way to meet people as well,
or just to have something to talk about.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, true, Yeah, sure, I like that term though. Later daters. Yeah, yeah, there's.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
A documentary there's not documented. It's a reality show on
Netflix called The Later Daters. It's fantastic. If you haven't
seen it, it's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I would love to see that.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
It's so funny, but it's it's wonderful. And I think
that this freedom, you know, now, for us to be
able to do that and talk about it openly, is
so important to take the stigma away from like being
a person who's in their fifties or sixties or seventies
or eighties or however world you are right dating, you know,
not making necessarily making a marital commitment or being with
(17:50):
somebody long term and deciding that I like being with you,
but I don't need to marry you. And then some
people are in that space and that's okay too. I
think those kinds of like opening those doors and opening
that conversation and breaking the stigma and making it okay
for women to make choices that benefit us. Yes, intentionally
is the whole purpose of this, whatever that might look like.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Yeah, yeah, and really important conversations that I think will
be helpful to people.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Awesome, yeah, and fun, yeah, very top of everything to
be fun.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
But also those that are maybe changing careers in midlife
as well. That's a huge topic.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
And I know Ashley is in the process of maybe
changing her career.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
It's been something that you've talked about for a little while,
and going into real estate versus what you've been.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I'm in sales already. Yeah, so, but but.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Work transitions all in general, right.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, And I think too, this is something that has
happened to me personally, and I'm assuming there's a lot
of people and well you you had said you were,
you know, working for Corporate America for such a long time,
and you were like, I got to do something different.
I kind of am in that same space. I worked
for Corporate America for many, many years. Now I own
(19:08):
my own company, but it's in the same business. I've
been in the industry for almost thirty years, and I'm
just I'm kind of burned out, you know. I'm like
at this place where I'm like, okay, I you know,
I'm in my late forties. I you know, if I'm
going to make a change, I feel like it should
be now, and so yeah, you know, I think a
(19:31):
lot of people get to that point where it's like
should I make a change or should I just write
it out? You know, But you don't want to get
to a point where you're just not even really performing
or you're miserable or you know, like you used to
because you're so over it and you just need something different.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
No, I think you know, you're so right.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
There's a woman who'll be speaking an Act three from
the UK called Bianca the Best, who.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Wrote a book about burning out. That is one of ours.
That's one of the things, like, you know, you it's
it's it's.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
So important that whole knowing when that's happening for you
and knowing the steps to take it is such a
kind of stumble you know, you're kind of like fall
here and they are trying to get Yeah, like you think,
don't know what's safe, and there's the financial implications of
making a new choice age two. They're all these things
that we're all kind of like, huh, but we do.
(20:24):
We're talking a lot about work trap because a lot
of women who are in their fifties particularly, but but
again going into your sixties are like, you know, a
do I just stay and write it out and do
what's safe? But I know that like in my mind,
I'm losing it entirely having to stay in this place.
Or do I you know, kind of take a risk
(20:44):
on something that may or may not pay off and
risks some of what I'm what I might have.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
To retire on, or you know what that looks like.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
And so you know, I think it's hugely brave for
people to step out. And I will say this though,
as an entrepreneur for the third time, I always say
to folks, you know, depending on what you're doing, I
would not suggest this is horrible, say I would not
suggest to become an entrepreneur for the first time at
this age because for me, even at this age, like
(21:12):
it's like hanging off the edge of a cliff all
the time, like, because when you're selling something and you're
selling it for yourself, you're in a buying cycle and
taking the risk that people want to buy what you
want to what you're selling when you need them to
buy it right, and that could really.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Triggering right Absolutely, it's thinking about.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
All of the options that you have around what's next,
and those transitions can be really jarring when you have
to sometimes make a choice.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
It's particularly driven by financial situation.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
Rhether or not you can and deciding how much you're
prepared to risk and what your red line is against
that risk if you step out of what you do
and need to work through it. So those are all
conversations that we're absolutely having right now.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
And for me in my industry, it's all about I'm
fighting against being aged aging out right, Like I'm not
going to be aged out, And I think that's one
of the reasons what keeps me in my industry because
there is that fear of somebody, you know, of my age,
(22:16):
trying to compete with these younger twenty somethings that will
work you know, for a quarter of what I made
right and are like sponges that absorb everything. And even
as somebody who hires individuals, you think that when you're
you know, interviewing people, are they going to be said
in their ways or are they going to be you.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Know, easier to mold.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
But for me, it's all about not being aged out
right at this phase of my life.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
And it's just I always say, riding the wave out, yeah,
you know, to retirement.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
But it's kind of scary, right is, especially with the economy,
I might be facing you know, layoffs in the coming year,
depending on what happens, you know in the US with
our Yeah, it's a potential risk for me, and that
creates anxiety.
Speaker 5 (23:04):
So there's just you know, so much that we're dealing with.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Yeah, yeah, I mean the recession in the US is
also recession across the world because we're such a lead
indicator of what's going to happen in the world, and
you know, that is a worry I think for a
lot of people, a lot of places, and as we
get older, we rely on systems a lot more, especially
you know, after we kind of finish working. You know,
we're relying on you know, especially in the US where
(23:28):
our health system is so expensive, like you're kind of
like me to make sure that you have all those
ducts in a row right out of your workplace. And
so it is really scary on more than just a
loss of income. It's like, how do I, you know,
take care of things I need to take care of,
especially if you don't have somebody else in your home
who has that thing that you might need, right and
(23:50):
you're on your own dealing with it.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
And a lot of us are in that position.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
And so you know, the the what I will say
is that at something that I often say to women
when I'm coaching them is that you.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Know, we know how to do this. That's the thing.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
We know how to do this, and we are so resourceful,
right and and we've had a lot of us have
had to make a way out of no way, and
I'll figure it out. And so you know, I just
I remind people of their power, women of their power. Particularly,
I mean, we can give birth to humans, we can
do a lot of things that are actually quite magical
(24:27):
and them and do all of the things that you know,
ensure that we have people who are contributing to our society.
And so you know, I remind us of our power.
First and then the challenge next, Because if we can
kind of sit in our power and think about what's
really important, which is us and our families and our
(24:48):
ability to be able to put one foot in front
of the other and wake up every morning and breathe first,
then the other things are not inconsequential, but they become
less important.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, that's amazing. I like that. Think about your power
and then the challenge. I think a lot of us,
you know, can look back and think about times in
our lives where we just thought, I don't know how
I'm going to make this work. I don't know how.
I mean I became a single mom very young and
wasn't making a lot of money, was very early in
(25:18):
my career, and I just remember thinking, how am I
going to do this? I don't this is this is
not possible. I don't know how I'm going to do this.
And I just did it. It just I worked my
ass off, and you know, I was very determined to
give them the life that I wanted to give them
and make this a very easy transition for them too,
(25:39):
and give them, you know, still the amount of love
and everything that that they you know, it's it's a
big change. Not just for you, but you know, for them.
So it's like for me, it was about how am
I going to make this an easy time for all
of us? You know, right right? But I just I
think there's a lot of times that you can think
of back, you know, looking back where it's like, wow,
(26:01):
I did it like that, I was scared and I
did it here I am now, you know, And.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
I find myself having more anxiety later in life than
I ever did before. So you know, like you mentioned
having challenges when I was younger and not remembering being
so anxious.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Taking them in stride as I am now.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
So but I think that's all a part of promonal
challenges and just a combination of things.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
But yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
And so you mentioned a lot of books or several books.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
As we were talking, and you do have a link
on the website for the bookstore, so all of those
books that you mentioned earlier will be available through that
link as well. Is that correct, India?
Speaker 4 (26:45):
They will be close to the convening, so well, the
books close the convening.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
The bookstore is fantastic.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
We have a number of authors coming who are going
to be signing to which will be really fun.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Some great people who are like I don't know if
you've seen a Schmidt wh's fearlessly facing fifty.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Who will be on the on the platform. Rwanda Watts.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Do you remember her?
Speaker 5 (27:05):
She used?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah, talk she Rwanda will be on the platform. Wow.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Bianca and Bianca Best and Radia Rhodes and Leilani Brown.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
We have some amazing women. That's great.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Go and look up the names as I just mentioned,
the fabulous, fabulous women who are really helping move the
needle for women and so around this space and all
the things that we're doing. So I'm really excited to
have all of them and the books. A lot of
them are authors and all of their books will be
in our bookstore on site, and then post the convening,
(27:37):
the bookstore will go online so.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
You can go and see what we've curated for the time.
Speaker 5 (27:43):
That's so great. Wow.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
And again the event is June fourth through six and
it's being held in Washington, DC. You can find out
all of the information on ACT Threeconvening dot com and
again that link will be in our show notes. But
we highly recommend if you have the opportunity to go.
I think that this could actually be.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
Very life changing.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Yes, it sounds amazing.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yeah, on to the community, be there, be square.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
There you go, there you go. Well, thank you so
much for joining us today, India and sharing this event
with us. I think that because our platform does reach
a global audience, that this is something that's really going
to be very helpful for women in midlife.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Right. Yeah, thank you so much, India. It was great
to have you.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Thank you for having me. I so appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Well, that wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining
us on Let's Talk Midlife Crisis. We hope you got
some laughs, a little inspiration, and maybe a few new ideas.
Speaker 6 (28:45):
If you loved today's episode, hit that subscribe button so
you'll never miss an episode, and hey, share the love.
Send this episode to a friend who could use a
good laugh and some midlife wisdom.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Connect with us on social media at Let's Talk Midlife
Crisis and let us know what's on your mind. We
love hearing from you.
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