July 29, 2025 • 39 mins
In this episode, I dive deep into the world of people-pleasing—the constant desire to seek approval, avoid conflict, and prioritize others' needs over your own. People -pleasing can often lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of self-identity.
Discover practical strategies for setting boundaries, learning to say no, and embracing who you truly are—without the need for external validation.
Tune in for inspiring insights and actionable tips to help you step into your full, authentic self and break free from the cycle of people-pleasing.
Click the Link for the NEW EPISODE‼️ You can find the podcast on YouTube & everywhere you find Podcasts! The purpose is to support men and women while giving them the tools and space to heal emotionally, psychologically and physiologically.
Go ahead LISTEN, WATCH, LIKE & SHARE
Follow IG: https://instagram.com/awisebrown?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
Mental Health is a Lifestyle Podcast with Andrea Wise-Brown, is where we discuss practical strategies for managing mental health and wellbeing.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Mental Health is a Lifestyle Podcast. We hope you found these practical tips helpful and encourage you to continue prioritizing your mental health and wellness.
If you have any questions or suggestions for future episodes, please email us at mhialpodcast@gmail.com.
See you next time!
Find Andrea: awisebrown.com
Follow The Podcast At @mentalhealthisalifestylepod Mhialpodcast@gmail.com I want to know your opinions…….
In addition; if you have any questions that you want answered on the podcast send your request to mhialpodcast@gmail.com or inbox me @mentalhealthisalifestylepod
Remember, Mental health is a Lifestyle!®️😘
Discover practical strategies for setting boundaries, learning to say no, and embracing who you truly are—without the need for external validation.
Tune in for inspiring insights and actionable tips to help you step into your full, authentic self and break free from the cycle of people-pleasing.
Click the Link for the NEW EPISODE‼️ You can find the podcast on YouTube & everywhere you find Podcasts! The purpose is to support men and women while giving them the tools and space to heal emotionally, psychologically and physiologically.
Go ahead LISTEN, WATCH, LIKE & SHARE
Follow IG: https://instagram.com/awisebrown?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
Mental Health is a Lifestyle Podcast with Andrea Wise-Brown, is where we discuss practical strategies for managing mental health and wellbeing.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Mental Health is a Lifestyle Podcast. We hope you found these practical tips helpful and encourage you to continue prioritizing your mental health and wellness.
If you have any questions or suggestions for future episodes, please email us at mhialpodcast@gmail.com.
See you next time!
Find Andrea: awisebrown.com
Follow The Podcast At @mentalhealthisalifestylepod Mhialpodcast@gmail.com I want to know your opinions…….
In addition; if you have any questions that you want answered on the podcast send your request to mhialpodcast@gmail.com or inbox me @mentalhealthisalifestylepod
Remember, Mental health is a Lifestyle!®️😘
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This podcast is not a substitute for our relationship with
your mental health professional. Hey hey, hey, family, Welcome back
to another episode of The Mental Health Is a lifestyle
podcast with your girl, Andrea wise Brown. Hey family, I'm
(00:24):
excited to see you again this week on this episode
and listen. If you have not joined the family yet,
please do so. It's so easy, it.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Doesn't cost you anything. It's free.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
All you need to do is click this subscribe button
and subscribe to the podcast, like the podcast, share the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
There you go and become a part of the family.
That's what I want you to do.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So, family, we are going to jump into it this week.
I have a message I want to deliver to you.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Family. I'm gonna ask you a question.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Are you living life as your authentic self? Are you
being you authentically? Are you walking around through this life?
Is everything exuding everything that God gave you? Are you
(01:33):
exuding all of the things, the smarts, the funnies, the louds,
the quiets, all of the things, all of the characteristics.
Are you exuding those things that God gave to you,
that he blessed you with? Are you being your authentic self?
Or are you shrinking for someone else are you shrinking family,
(01:58):
because I am telling you we ain't doing that, y'all. Remember,
I don't know if you young enough are old enough
to remember the chia pets, because right now I'm about
to put some water on you, these little chia pets.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
And I think they even may have sold them at Walmart.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And when you put some water on them, they start
to grow, they start to get bigger. Well, that's what
we working on here today. We are getting bigger. We
are expanding family, all of us. One by one. We
are expanding. And I am asking you to expand with me,
(02:34):
to grow with me. Don't you shrink another minute or
another moment for anyone else, for anyone else, for any
other person you know, any job of any type of
organization that you think that you know you want to
be a part of, any kind of group of clique
(02:55):
that you think that you may want to be involved with,
do not any kind of business that you.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Think you want to do. Don't you shrink.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Another moment for no one else, Because you being your
authentic self is what God created you to be, and
that is where your prosperity and your abundance is going
to come from. Living in integrity into in truth. So family,
(03:25):
here we go. I'll start off because I'm hoping now
you saying to yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Am I living authentically?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
I don't know what Andrea talking about? Well guess what
Andre is getting ready to break it down for you.
So I'm wondering, are you out here people pleasing? Are
you making decisions in life that you really that don't
are not really in alignment with who you are. They
aren't really in alignment with what resonates with you, with
(03:52):
what feels good to you. Are you doing Are you
just going along with what the people are saying or
asking you to do or maybe expecting of you, just
to keep them around, or to feel worthy, to feel
like a good woman you know, or a worthy man
(04:16):
like Are you tripping over yourself, your true self, your
authentic self, just to pretend to be something that somebody
else wants you to be because you think that's what
you should be as if you win in the prize when.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
The reality is family.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
If you're doing that, you are only creating more pain
in your life.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
You create pain in your life. And let me tell
you this.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
If you are out in the world acting as you
are someone else just to maybe be connected to, as
I said, organizations or jobs or people or in relationships
just to attract them so that they kind of, you know,
stay around. So you think that you're getting what you want.
(05:07):
The reality is is as you are faking, you understand
that the energy that you put out in the universe
is the energy that you will receive back. So if
you've been faking.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Guess what, family, and they staying around with.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
The fake you, then they faking too. So what I'm
saying is family, free yourself today. You are gonna free
yourself and you are gonna show up in life as
your all authentic self. Bet On you, family, because I'm
always going to bet on me, So bet on you.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Okay, So how do we do this? Andre? How do
we do this? So let me just start off as
first thing.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
First step that you're gonna do is you're gonna identify
what are your values, Not the values that somebody else
put on you. The values that you learned when you
were a child, Okay, when your brain was developing because
of your parents who are around you, or maybe aunties,
(06:11):
the uncles who around you, maybe preachers or priests or
your librarians. You know, the influences in your life. If
they didn't have healthy values and they kept telling you
what you should value, then as your brain is developing
(06:32):
as a baby, you start to take on their values
as being the right values, the correct values to have.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
But what I am telling you, family, is right now,
right now, wherever you are in.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Life, whatever your age is in life, I want you
to do a self check. What do you value as yourself?
What do you value self? Andrea, what do I value?
Identify your values first, because what I have learned doing
(07:08):
counseling now for over fifteen years, working in the mental
health field private practice for twelve years, what I have
learned is a lot of times as adults, we walk
around carrying values, acting out values that other people put
on us, but values that are out of alignment with
(07:29):
who we are and how we feel and what we believe.
But in order to correct that, family, because what happens
is when you are living inauthentically, you will keep creating
havoc in your life and you will not find happiness
and you will not find peace. And I want you
(07:51):
to find happiness. Family, I want you to live in
peace and bliss, But it starts by you living your
authentic life So the first thing is assessed.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
What are my values?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Not what you know my teacher told me her values were,
or what my uncle tried to tell me what his
values were, you know, because you're like you know, I
see how they done turned out in life.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
So what do I value? Now that my brain is.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Fully developed, I done hit age twenty five, So now
I can do an assessment.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
What do I value? Family?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
You're worth taking the time to figure this out. The
number two second thing I would ask you is after
you figure out what your values are, I want you
to ask yourself self, who do I want to be?
Who do I want to be? How do I want
(08:51):
to show up in the world. That's what I want
you to ask yourself. What is it that I want
to do? Ask yourself what do you want to If
you really want to drill down and you want to
find peace and you want to live authentically, you have
to identify who it is.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
That you even want to be.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
You don't need to people please or you know, fake
it for other people just to present in a certain way.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Who do you want to be? Family? Ask yourself. Let
me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
The only way to living an authentic life is to
have self knowledge to know yourself and to have self awareness,
to be aware of the things that you desire, to
be aware of the things that you want, to be
(09:50):
aware of the things that make you laugh, the things
that make you sad like. It's self awareness and self knowledge.
Who am I and who is it that I want
to be? So in order to be authentic, we have
to know those things. And now we are going.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
To act out these steps.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Now we're on number three. Here we go live with integrity.
When I am my authentic self and I am not
captain out here lying or people please and trying to
show up as something other than myself, I will be
(10:35):
I will live in integrity. I will be honest. Family,
I want you to be honest. I want you to
live in integrity. If you want to call people in
your life who have integrity, who are trustworthy, it starts
with you first. Remember, you attract what you are. We
(10:55):
attract what we are. So if you want people to
be in your life who have integrity, you know integrity.
An example is people who mean what they say and
then they say what they mean. If you want those
people in your life and not people who are just
lying just to lie.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
And just saying anything just to get along with you.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
And then when they leave your sight, they acting like
somebody totally different than who you know or who they
were presented as. So you're believing one thing, right, You're
believing that they're one thing and they like this and
they enjoy this, but actually, behind your back they live
in totally a total different life, something very opposite of that.
(11:42):
Just because they didn't show up as their authentic self. Well,
that's something that you don't want to do. I don't
want you thinking that you have to show up in
one way. When you're in front of people, your friends,
your family, your parents, your aunties, the church, the librarian
down the street, miss walker that lives. Don't you show
(12:04):
up in front of them is one thing? And then
when you get when you turn your back, when you're
out of their presence.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You acting totally different.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Because what I'm telling you family, even if you do
this and you think that, Okay, this is easy for me,
you know this is making life good and easy for me,
you won't find inner peace and you will never find
inner happiness because you will always be putting on for
someone else.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
You'll be living a false sense, with a false sense
of self, and you won't be you.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
You won't be you, and being you all the way
around doesn't matter, doesn't matter what it is. Showing all
of your strengths, showing all of your weaknesses, you being
that at one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Is what going to bring you inner peace and inner
happiness that you are going to exude through life.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
You know, if it's something I want you to live
in integrity, If there's something that someone presents to you,
maybe a job offer, or maybe, as I said, an organization,
and they're telling you that the reason why you need
to be in this organization is because you know, maybe
you know it's going to give you this, or it's
(13:29):
gonna make you look like this, like you have your
stuff together, and you know you are going to look
or appear as if you are I don't know, the
upper echelon of the United States of America.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
You're going to appear as if you've made it, and
people will trust you more.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
And if that is you, If the organization is in
alignment with something that you want, something that you enjoy,
something that makes you happy, something that resonates with you,
then you join, okay, and then you'll get that benefit
because it will be authentic. However, if none of their
values aligned with your values, if they're the goal of
(14:09):
the organization, if you don't really believe in it, then
you joining that just to look and appear a certain
way is only going to add to your anxiety, can
turn into depression and you will never find peace or happiness.
So you say no, no, thank you, no thank you.
(14:32):
You know, there was this woman's organization that a good, good,
good friend of mine told me. She told me some
years ago, I think it was it was before COVID.
She told me that, you know, I really should join
this woman's organization. And at the time that she told
me to do it, I did it because she's a
(14:56):
successful woman and she's smart, and she told me that's
what I should do. So it was like and she
told me, like in order because I was trying to
scale my business, and so she said to me, in
order for you to scale your business, you need to
be a part of this organization. Because when I joined
this organization, there were so many opportunities that opened up
for me, and you know, like this is the way, Like,
(15:18):
I love this organization. So she invited me to come
to some of the events and here I go trying
to join this organization. Now, hey, family, come on over here,
because I have something for you. Starting off with a
go to guide for keeping your mind healthy and strong.
(15:40):
This right here is the Bible to mental Health. It's
your mental health Bible. The name of it is six
Pillars to power up your mind and make mental health
a lifestyle. Everything that you need to know about keeping
your minds healthy and strong is.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
In this goal to God. Where you get it from?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Will you get it from aisbrown dot com backslash shop.
But in this go to guide, honey, in this mental
health Bible, you know what you're gonna find out. You're
gonna find out the benefits of aromatherapy and how it
can shift your mood. But guess what, you don't have
to go anyplace else to look for you aromatherapy because
(16:26):
your girls got you. Okay, you can get some aromatherapy here.
This is a romatherapy is in this candle. This is
called a slice of Happiness. It makes me tingle like
literally makes me tingle a slice of happiness. This is
a cruelty free candle with no parabins, no formaldehyde, and
(16:51):
no known suspected carcinogenics. Now, you know, you go out
here and you find these candles that smell good, but
are they good for you? Why are they good for
your brain? Come on, now, get real with yourself. Well,
this one smells delicious and it's good for you. Made
with essential oils. It's a soy candle, amazing. You can
(17:15):
burn it or you can just walk by and smell it. Lord,
have mercy, it's so good.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
So that your candle your romotherapy, which raises the dopamine
in your brain, that your natural feel good, no transmitters
in your brain.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
All right, y'all. And oh, I'm a part of you.
You're a part of me. We are a family.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
We got hoodies now, and these are UNUS sex hoodies
and they wear well, they wash well, and they feel
so good. So you can wear them over your clothes,
you know what I'm saying, and look dope. Or you
can wear them as your clothes with nothing under them,
which I like to do often. And when you travel everywhere,
I mean every time I wear them, I'm moving around,
(17:57):
people are always asking me whether I'm traveling, going to
the supermarket, what's that?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Who's that?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And I'm like mental Health is a lifestyle because see
this is on the back. Okay, they come in white
and they come in black. I'm like, join the family.
Mental Health is a lifestyle podcast. So there you go.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Family. Don't you ever say then, I ain't give you nothing.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
You get all of these things from awisebrown dot com
backslash shop. All right, I got your goods.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
I got you. You don't have to go any place else.
I'll see you on the other.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Sideization Now, I am growing, family, and as I'm growing,
I am changing. But I am also embracing all of
my changes. But let me just tell you, and I've
told you all about some of these changes before. You've
heard them in interviews or maybe while I'm here talking
by myself, you know, through my whole foot journey. I'm
(18:54):
telling you how I'm growing and I'm changing, which is
the reason for life. We should never be the same
person that we were back then, right now, years ago, yesterday.
I want to be different than I was yesterday, and
when I leave this earth, I'm gonna be different than
I am today. My point being is I've told you
in the past, like my maybe thoughts on friendships and
(19:16):
how I've grown with friendships, and I value friendships so much. Well,
this is another thing that I didn't really value years ago,
was being in organizations because I am kind of like
a standalone kind of kid. That is who I am.
I am not really good at networking. I don't like networking.
(19:42):
And I'm gonna say networking, and I should really be
careful when I say that, because I don't want to
put that in the universe. I used to say that
and put that in the universe, but I need to
be careful. So I'm gonna say networking in the traditional way.
Traditional way meaning I'm walking into an event. I have
a name, tak Gone, there's one hundred people in the room,
(20:02):
fifty people in the room, let's say fifty, and I
am making sure there's a goal for me to meet
every single person in that room before I leave, so
I can give them my business a card, I can
tell them who I am, I can do my elevator.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Pitch, and I get through the whole room.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And then when I've left that little gathering, I am
successful if I have let everybody know you know who
I am. So in that sense, that traditional sense of networking,
that is not who Andrea is today. That is not
who Andrea was back then. Okay, that just as just
(20:38):
not me, and it's just because I am a person
who I love interpersonal communication. I love a one on
one I like a deep level conversation. I like deep
level engagement, and as is I just described, if you
(20:59):
were to do traditional networking, you know, like I just said,
then you don't have time to do that with a
whole bunch of people. And that's why that you know,
style of networking isn't for me. But what I do
know is is I have always I have always been
successful just because I network just the way I network,
(21:24):
and for me network for me Andrea authentically, it's not
about me giving a hundred people my car, but for Andrea,
it's for me to connect with maybe one or two
people in that room and that sea of people to
fifty on one hundred that I resonate with, and I
(21:46):
can have deep conversation and connect with you and I
get to know you and if you're open to it
and you get to know me, like that is who.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Andrea is and that is authentic to me.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
And you know, well, I may not walk out of
that room with all of those contacts where I can
you know, call him back and email them and put
them on the email because that's just.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Not who I am.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
But I've become successful by just engaging with one or
two people because you know what.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
God is always in the plans.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
So when I walk in with God, trust me, one
of those connections is a connection that's gonna take me
right where He needs me to be. So, family, what
I'm saying to you is, I was telling you the
whole story about me joining this organization because my friend
told me that I should. I joined the organization. I
was accepted, and then after a year, I realized this
(22:48):
organization is not for me. It didn't it didn't bring
me any more business. I felt like I was working
more than I should have been. Where I was like
pitch and speaking. I was just I was doing a lot,
and I really didn't feel like I was.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Getting a return on my investment.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So I relinquished my membership and I stepped out of
the organization. That was then, and I was being true
to myself then. But now as I've grown after the
pandemic some years later, we four years after, right twenty twenty, Now,
(23:29):
as I stand where I am in my life, I'm
ready because now I understand the value in it. I'm
ready to go back in and to re enter the
organization again. So it's pretty much knowing who is it
(23:50):
that you want to be and then living with integrity.
So right now, living with integrity, my truth is right
now in my life where where I am. I am
ready to put myself back in to this woman's organization,
and that is what I'm going to do. But I
didn't do it when it didn't feel good to me,
(24:13):
when it didn't feel like it was good for me,
just because it was good for my friend and she
does super well it serves her, but it wasn't good
for me. But guess what it's going to be good
for me now? Okay, now live with integrity. Number four,
Communicate honestly when you're being your authentic self, Communicate honestly.
(24:39):
Come on now, when you live in integrity, say what
you mean and mean what you say. If you don't
want to do it, say I don't want to do it.
If they invite you and say come on, you know
you're invited, then you I'm gonna decline nicely with love
your invitation. If I have something else to do, then
(25:01):
I have something to communicate honestly. Now, you don't need
to be hurting nobody's feelings and saying, well, really cause
I don't like y'all. Really, I don't want to be there.
You ain't my kind of people. You don't need to
do that. But you can communicate honestly, don't lie. Even
when you're in interpersonal relationships or friendships, communicate honestly who
(25:26):
are you? And we ain't trying to be disgusting. We
are trying to be fruitful and live with life and
fine happiness. So I want you to communicate your needs honestly,
communicate your once honestly, be honest, communicate your desires honestly.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Please do that.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Number five, be courageous, see, because that's what it's gonna take, right,
doing all of these things, It's going to take courage.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It's going to take courage.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
So yes, it sounds like sometimes when I'm meeting with
clients and we're doing some work, when they start with
me on the first day, some of the things that
you know we may be working through that I may suggest.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
They'll say, you know, Andrea, it.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Sounds so much easier than it is, and I'm like, yes,
but let me tell you something. Change starts one step
at a time with courage. How do you eat an
elephant one bite at a time with courage, because you
(26:35):
know elephants, they got good memories. But with courage, courage,
courage and patience. So I want you to be courageous.
Come on now, be courageous.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
God created you with purpose and he created you in
the way that he wants you to be. So my
thing is, if.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
You're loud like me, be loud, honey, come on now.
If you like to, I don't know, wear bright lipstick
like I do, wear bright lipstick. If you wanna wear
long nails, short nails, high heel boots, do it.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
If you want to wear your man you want to
wear sneakers with your suits, do it.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Like whatever it is that you wanna do, be you
be your authentic self, have the courage, the courage to
do so. And remember all of this comes from self knowledge.
You need to know yourself and self acceptance. When I
(27:53):
accepted years ago. You know, for years, people have always
told me since I was a little girl, you are
so loud. Or it really wasn't my friends, but maybe
it was like their parents, you know, would walk in
the room and they hear my laugh and they say, oh,
my goodness, that girl is so loud, you know, or
someone else.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
And this has just been it's been a soundtrack my
whole life.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
And you know, when I was younger, I used to
feel some shame in that. When I was very very young,
I used to feel some sham in that is, before
I got into my twenties, I would feel shameful. And then,
you know, as I really start rolling out and accepting
who I am, and I had this knowledge of who
(28:36):
I am and what I like. Honey, I am Andrea
and I am absolutely Oh, let me tell y'all something else.
Talking about self acceptance, and I talk a lot, I
absolutely do, And let me tell y'all something.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
This is another thing.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
You know, during childhood, if you are criticized, if you
are praised, and if you are rewarded, those things shape
your behavior because they teach us what's acceptable and what's unacceptable.
(29:13):
And as a child, you want to please. You really
want to please your nurturers. Right, So if it's your mom,
your dad, whoever's raising you, your grandparents, your auntie, like,
you want to please your nurturers because that's how life's
order is.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
That's what it's supposed to be. They're our first teachers.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
So if they have a criticized you for acting out
in some way or another, then you would not want
to be criticized because then net would be hurtful to you.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
So you would change your behavior. You got me.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
If you were rewarded for some behavior, then what you
would want to do is repeat that behavior over and
over and over and over again. If you were praised
for some behavior, then you would want to repeat that
behavior over and over again because you want to be
rewarded and you want to be praised. And parents do
the best that they know how to do. So what
(30:10):
I'm saying is this happens to all of us. And
as I'm just going back to me growing up, when
I was a young girl and when I was just
being myself, if I was too loud, then you know,
I was criticized for being loud. So then okay, well
I would try not to be loud. I couldn't never,
I just couldn not be loud. But what I would
(30:31):
do is is I would feel shamed after somebody would
point out that I was loud.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
But now, honey, I just I own it. I'm loud.
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
And another thing is, you know, all through childhood, all
of my report cards through grade school, okay, I was
a great student.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I stayed on the honor rolle.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
However, when my mother would get my report card, what
was consistent was, you know, I don't know if y'all remember,
but we had the report cards.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
They had the three folds.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
You open up the three folds, and this was I'm
not talking about one school, okay, I'm talking about two
schools and several different teachers.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Two. You had two schools and several different teachers.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
And so usually grades were good, always on the honor room.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
But then in that little square on.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
The side where they had comments, the teachers would always say,
she is a good student, but she talks too much.
It was consistent criticized for my talking.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
And okay, I get it.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I get it if you're trying to teach a classroom
and somebody's talking and not paying attention. And maybe I
was talking to somebody else, but I think them girls
were talking to me, or them boys they were talking
to me.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
I was just talking back. But point is right.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
I could see if talking could be disruptive in a classroom.
But I get it, But I am telling you I was.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
It was consistent. I was criticized consistently for talking too much. Well,
guess what. I have a job today, my life's work.
My purpose here on this earth is to use this
mouth and talk. Do you hear what I'm saying to you?
(32:23):
That is who I am? Authentically? God created me this girl,
this loud girl.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Okay, who is oh boy? Who is expressive and loud?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (32:40):
And pitchy? I've been called pitchy. Okay, I'm pitchy. I'm
owning it right. And who talks too much? God gave
all of those things to me. No, your strengthen your weaknesses.
So yeah, yeah, Now for a living, I get paid
to speak loudly in churches, to speak and talk loudly
(33:04):
at funeral rules, to speak and talk loudly.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
At schools, who speak and.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Talk loudly at corporations. Do you hear what I'm saying
to you? To speak and talk loudly sometimes not too often,
in sessions and coaching on my podcast Come on now,
Living or authentically having the courage, having the courage to
(33:34):
be you no matter what nobody else says.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
And this is the thing, don't you even think that
you need to be somebody other than you to keep
certain people, places, and things in your life. Because let
me say.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
This to you, if you being you does not keep
those people, places, and things in your life, it's because.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Those people, places, and things are not for you. Let
him go, let them go, let me listen.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Listen, listen, because you know who you need and what
you need, and all that you need is God, because
he'll do it all. And that's number six. Trust God.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Trust God.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
He's got your people, he's got your places, and he's
got your things, and he helped to create you.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
He sprinkled little dust on your magic on you and
gave you all that you are, all that you have,
all of your characteristics, God gave them to you.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
So stand up and use all of that.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Don't you ever shrink for no one else, no one else,
because God's got your back. God is already setting you up.
God has all the things for you, abundance, prosperity, He's
already seen the end of it. But he's waiting on
you to be you. Stop fighting and acting like you
(35:26):
somebody else. You don't need to please any people. The
only person you need to please is God, and you
please God by you being your authentic self. And let
me tell you how you're gonna do that. You're gonna
do that. By Number one, family, You're gonna identify your values.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
What are your values? Ask yourself? What do I value?
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Not somebody over there, not the church house, not that organization,
not those people, not that clique, No, what do I value?
Number two, You're gonna identify who it is that you
want to be while you are here on this earth.
Who do I wanna be? How do you wanna show up?
That's what you're gonna ask yourself. Number three, You're going
(36:16):
to live it out in integrity. Live with integrity, Mean
what you say, and say what you mean, Be honest,
be truthful. Don't you show up in the world as
a liar. Live with integrity. When you live with integrity,
when you live in truth, that is who you will
(36:38):
attract in your life. You will attract people who live
in integrity in your life. We attract what we are.
Anything you are more of you need to be first.
So you're gonna live with integrity. Number four, When you communicate,
You're gonna communicate honestly. When I'm being my authentic self. No,
(37:00):
cap I ain't lying. I'm not pretending that I'm not
putting on. I am communicating my needs and my wants honestly.
If I don't want to go, I am going to
say I cannot make it.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I don't wanna go, can't make it. I'm not gonna
do it. Stop doing things that you don't want to do.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Communicate, stop lying and saying what you like when you
don't like it.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
If you don't want to eat it, don't eat it.
Say no.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Number five, be courageous and all of these things that
I'm telling you stand up.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Have the courage to be authentic.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
It is a choice courage because you will be making
the choice every day to be authentic, and it takes courage.
And when you lacking courage. Number six, You're gonna trust
God because he is He's got your back. He is
the outpha, the beginning, and oh maga, he is all things.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
And I told.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
You you do not have to wear read about once
you are your most authentic self.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
People, places and things falling off. You ain't gotta worry about.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
That because through God, He's going to supply all of
the people, places, and things that you need. In your life,
if you want to be happy, if you want to
live a life full of peace, I am telling you, family,
(38:32):
make the choice to be authentic and to live authentically.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
All Right, Family, I love you, Love you, love you.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
That is another episode of the Mental Health Is a
Lifestyle podcast with your Girl Andrea wise Brown. I'm your
girl and I will see you family.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
On the next episode. I love you.
This podcast is not a substitute for our relationship with
your mental health professional. Hey hey, hey, family, Welcome back
to another episode of The Mental Health Is a lifestyle
podcast with your girl, Andrea wise Brown. Hey family, I'm
(00:24):
excited to see you again this week on this episode
and listen. If you have not joined the family yet,
please do so. It's so easy, it.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Doesn't cost you anything. It's free.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
All you need to do is click this subscribe button
and subscribe to the podcast, like the podcast, share the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
There you go and become a part of the family.
That's what I want you to do.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So, family, we are going to jump into it this week.
I have a message I want to deliver to you.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Family. I'm gonna ask you a question.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Are you living life as your authentic self? Are you
being you authentically? Are you walking around through this life?
Is everything exuding everything that God gave you? Are you
(01:33):
exuding all of the things, the smarts, the funnies, the louds,
the quiets, all of the things, all of the characteristics.
Are you exuding those things that God gave to you,
that he blessed you with? Are you being your authentic self?
Or are you shrinking for someone else are you shrinking family,
(01:58):
because I am telling you we ain't doing that, y'all. Remember,
I don't know if you young enough are old enough
to remember the chia pets, because right now I'm about
to put some water on you, these little chia pets.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
And I think they even may have sold them at Walmart.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And when you put some water on them, they start
to grow, they start to get bigger. Well, that's what
we working on here today. We are getting bigger. We
are expanding family, all of us. One by one. We
are expanding. And I am asking you to expand with me,
(02:34):
to grow with me. Don't you shrink another minute or
another moment for anyone else, for anyone else, for any
other person you know, any job of any type of
organization that you think that you know you want to
be a part of, any kind of group of clique
(02:55):
that you think that you may want to be involved with,
do not any kind of business that you.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Think you want to do. Don't you shrink.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Another moment for no one else, Because you being your
authentic self is what God created you to be, and
that is where your prosperity and your abundance is going
to come from. Living in integrity into in truth. So family,
(03:25):
here we go. I'll start off because I'm hoping now
you saying to yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Am I living authentically?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
I don't know what Andrea talking about? Well guess what
Andre is getting ready to break it down for you.
So I'm wondering, are you out here people pleasing? Are
you making decisions in life that you really that don't
are not really in alignment with who you are. They
aren't really in alignment with what resonates with you, with
(03:52):
what feels good to you. Are you doing Are you
just going along with what the people are saying or
asking you to do or maybe expecting of you, just
to keep them around, or to feel worthy, to feel
like a good woman you know, or a worthy man
(04:16):
like Are you tripping over yourself, your true self, your
authentic self, just to pretend to be something that somebody
else wants you to be because you think that's what
you should be as if you win in the prize when.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
The reality is family.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
If you're doing that, you are only creating more pain
in your life.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
You create pain in your life. And let me tell
you this.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
If you are out in the world acting as you
are someone else just to maybe be connected to, as
I said, organizations or jobs or people or in relationships
just to attract them so that they kind of, you know,
stay around. So you think that you're getting what you want.
(05:07):
The reality is is as you are faking, you understand
that the energy that you put out in the universe
is the energy that you will receive back. So if
you've been faking.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Guess what, family, and they staying around with.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
The fake you, then they faking too. So what I'm
saying is family, free yourself today. You are gonna free
yourself and you are gonna show up in life as
your all authentic self. Bet On you, family, because I'm
always going to bet on me, So bet on you.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Okay, So how do we do this? Andre? How do
we do this? So let me just start off as
first thing.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
First step that you're gonna do is you're gonna identify
what are your values, Not the values that somebody else
put on you. The values that you learned when you
were a child, Okay, when your brain was developing because
of your parents who are around you, or maybe aunties,
(06:11):
the uncles who around you, maybe preachers or priests or
your librarians. You know, the influences in your life. If
they didn't have healthy values and they kept telling you
what you should value, then as your brain is developing
(06:32):
as a baby, you start to take on their values
as being the right values, the correct values to have.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
But what I am telling you, family, is right now,
right now, wherever you are in.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Life, whatever your age is in life, I want you
to do a self check. What do you value as yourself?
What do you value self? Andrea, what do I value?
Identify your values first, because what I have learned doing
(07:08):
counseling now for over fifteen years, working in the mental
health field private practice for twelve years, what I have
learned is a lot of times as adults, we walk
around carrying values, acting out values that other people put
on us, but values that are out of alignment with
(07:29):
who we are and how we feel and what we believe.
But in order to correct that, family, because what happens
is when you are living inauthentically, you will keep creating
havoc in your life and you will not find happiness
and you will not find peace. And I want you
(07:51):
to find happiness. Family, I want you to live in
peace and bliss, But it starts by you living your
authentic life So the first thing is assessed.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
What are my values?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Not what you know my teacher told me her values were,
or what my uncle tried to tell me what his
values were, you know, because you're like you know, I
see how they done turned out in life.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
So what do I value? Now that my brain is.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Fully developed, I done hit age twenty five, So now
I can do an assessment.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
What do I value? Family?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
You're worth taking the time to figure this out. The
number two second thing I would ask you is after
you figure out what your values are, I want you
to ask yourself self, who do I want to be?
Who do I want to be? How do I want
(08:51):
to show up in the world. That's what I want
you to ask yourself. What is it that I want
to do? Ask yourself what do you want to If
you really want to drill down and you want to
find peace and you want to live authentically, you have
to identify who it is.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
That you even want to be.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
You don't need to people please or you know, fake
it for other people just to present in a certain way.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Who do you want to be? Family? Ask yourself. Let
me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
The only way to living an authentic life is to
have self knowledge to know yourself and to have self awareness,
to be aware of the things that you desire, to
be aware of the things that you want, to be
(09:50):
aware of the things that make you laugh, the things
that make you sad like. It's self awareness and self knowledge.
Who am I and who is it that I want
to be? So in order to be authentic, we have
to know those things. And now we are going.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
To act out these steps.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Now we're on number three. Here we go live with integrity.
When I am my authentic self and I am not
captain out here lying or people please and trying to
show up as something other than myself, I will be
(10:35):
I will live in integrity. I will be honest. Family,
I want you to be honest. I want you to
live in integrity. If you want to call people in
your life who have integrity, who are trustworthy, it starts
with you first. Remember, you attract what you are. We
(10:55):
attract what we are. So if you want people to
be in your life who have integrity, you know integrity.
An example is people who mean what they say and
then they say what they mean. If you want those
people in your life and not people who are just
lying just to lie.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
And just saying anything just to get along with you.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
And then when they leave your sight, they acting like
somebody totally different than who you know or who they
were presented as. So you're believing one thing, right, You're
believing that they're one thing and they like this and
they enjoy this, but actually, behind your back they live
in totally a total different life, something very opposite of that.
(11:42):
Just because they didn't show up as their authentic self. Well,
that's something that you don't want to do. I don't
want you thinking that you have to show up in
one way. When you're in front of people, your friends,
your family, your parents, your aunties, the church, the librarian
down the street, miss walker that lives. Don't you show
(12:04):
up in front of them is one thing? And then
when you get when you turn your back, when you're
out of their presence.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You acting totally different.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Because what I'm telling you family, even if you do
this and you think that, Okay, this is easy for me,
you know this is making life good and easy for me,
you won't find inner peace and you will never find
inner happiness because you will always be putting on for
someone else.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
You'll be living a false sense, with a false sense
of self, and you won't be you.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
You won't be you, and being you all the way
around doesn't matter, doesn't matter what it is. Showing all
of your strengths, showing all of your weaknesses, you being
that at one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Is what going to bring you inner peace and inner
happiness that you are going to exude through life.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
You know, if it's something I want you to live
in integrity, If there's something that someone presents to you,
maybe a job offer, or maybe, as I said, an organization,
and they're telling you that the reason why you need
to be in this organization is because you know, maybe
you know it's going to give you this, or it's
(13:29):
gonna make you look like this, like you have your
stuff together, and you know you are going to look
or appear as if you are I don't know, the
upper echelon of the United States of America.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
You're going to appear as if you've made it, and
people will trust you more.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
And if that is you, If the organization is in
alignment with something that you want, something that you enjoy,
something that makes you happy, something that resonates with you,
then you join, okay, and then you'll get that benefit
because it will be authentic. However, if none of their
values aligned with your values, if they're the goal of
(14:09):
the organization, if you don't really believe in it, then
you joining that just to look and appear a certain
way is only going to add to your anxiety, can
turn into depression and you will never find peace or happiness.
So you say no, no, thank you, no thank you.
(14:32):
You know, there was this woman's organization that a good, good,
good friend of mine told me. She told me some
years ago, I think it was it was before COVID.
She told me that, you know, I really should join
this woman's organization. And at the time that she told
me to do it, I did it because she's a
(14:56):
successful woman and she's smart, and she told me that's
what I should do. So it was like and she
told me, like in order because I was trying to
scale my business, and so she said to me, in
order for you to scale your business, you need to
be a part of this organization. Because when I joined
this organization, there were so many opportunities that opened up
for me, and you know, like this is the way, Like,
(15:18):
I love this organization. So she invited me to come
to some of the events and here I go trying
to join this organization. Now, hey, family, come on over here,
because I have something for you. Starting off with a
go to guide for keeping your mind healthy and strong.
(15:40):
This right here is the Bible to mental Health. It's
your mental health Bible. The name of it is six
Pillars to power up your mind and make mental health
a lifestyle. Everything that you need to know about keeping
your minds healthy and strong is.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
In this goal to God. Where you get it from?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Will you get it from aisbrown dot com backslash shop.
But in this go to guide, honey, in this mental
health Bible, you know what you're gonna find out. You're
gonna find out the benefits of aromatherapy and how it
can shift your mood. But guess what, you don't have
to go anyplace else to look for you aromatherapy because
(16:26):
your girls got you. Okay, you can get some aromatherapy here.
This is a romatherapy is in this candle. This is
called a slice of Happiness. It makes me tingle like
literally makes me tingle a slice of happiness. This is
a cruelty free candle with no parabins, no formaldehyde, and
(16:51):
no known suspected carcinogenics. Now, you know, you go out
here and you find these candles that smell good, but
are they good for you? Why are they good for
your brain? Come on, now, get real with yourself. Well,
this one smells delicious and it's good for you. Made
with essential oils. It's a soy candle, amazing. You can
(17:15):
burn it or you can just walk by and smell it. Lord,
have mercy, it's so good.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
So that your candle your romotherapy, which raises the dopamine
in your brain, that your natural feel good, no transmitters
in your brain.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
All right, y'all. And oh, I'm a part of you.
You're a part of me. We are a family.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
We got hoodies now, and these are UNUS sex hoodies
and they wear well, they wash well, and they feel
so good. So you can wear them over your clothes,
you know what I'm saying, and look dope. Or you
can wear them as your clothes with nothing under them,
which I like to do often. And when you travel everywhere,
I mean every time I wear them, I'm moving around,
(17:57):
people are always asking me whether I'm traveling, going to
the supermarket, what's that?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Who's that?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And I'm like mental Health is a lifestyle because see
this is on the back. Okay, they come in white
and they come in black. I'm like, join the family.
Mental Health is a lifestyle podcast. So there you go.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Family. Don't you ever say then, I ain't give you nothing.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
You get all of these things from awisebrown dot com
backslash shop. All right, I got your goods.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
I got you. You don't have to go any place else.
I'll see you on the other.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Sideization Now, I am growing, family, and as I'm growing,
I am changing. But I am also embracing all of
my changes. But let me just tell you, and I've
told you all about some of these changes before. You've
heard them in interviews or maybe while I'm here talking
by myself, you know, through my whole foot journey. I'm
(18:54):
telling you how I'm growing and I'm changing, which is
the reason for life. We should never be the same
person that we were back then, right now, years ago, yesterday.
I want to be different than I was yesterday, and
when I leave this earth, I'm gonna be different than
I am today. My point being is I've told you
in the past, like my maybe thoughts on friendships and
(19:16):
how I've grown with friendships, and I value friendships so much. Well,
this is another thing that I didn't really value years ago,
was being in organizations because I am kind of like
a standalone kind of kid. That is who I am.
I am not really good at networking. I don't like networking.
(19:42):
And I'm gonna say networking, and I should really be
careful when I say that, because I don't want to
put that in the universe. I used to say that
and put that in the universe, but I need to
be careful. So I'm gonna say networking in the traditional way.
Traditional way meaning I'm walking into an event. I have
a name, tak Gone, there's one hundred people in the room,
(20:02):
fifty people in the room, let's say fifty, and I
am making sure there's a goal for me to meet
every single person in that room before I leave, so
I can give them my business a card, I can
tell them who I am, I can do my elevator.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Pitch, and I get through the whole room.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And then when I've left that little gathering, I am
successful if I have let everybody know you know who
I am. So in that sense, that traditional sense of networking,
that is not who Andrea is today. That is not
who Andrea was back then. Okay, that just as just
(20:38):
not me, and it's just because I am a person
who I love interpersonal communication. I love a one on
one I like a deep level conversation. I like deep
level engagement, and as is I just described, if you
(20:59):
were to do traditional networking, you know, like I just said,
then you don't have time to do that with a
whole bunch of people. And that's why that you know,
style of networking isn't for me. But what I do
know is is I have always I have always been
successful just because I network just the way I network,
(21:24):
and for me network for me Andrea authentically, it's not
about me giving a hundred people my car, but for Andrea,
it's for me to connect with maybe one or two
people in that room and that sea of people to
fifty on one hundred that I resonate with, and I
(21:46):
can have deep conversation and connect with you and I
get to know you and if you're open to it
and you get to know me, like that is who.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Andrea is and that is authentic to me.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
And you know, well, I may not walk out of
that room with all of those contacts where I can
you know, call him back and email them and put
them on the email because that's just.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Not who I am.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
But I've become successful by just engaging with one or
two people because you know what.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
God is always in the plans.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
So when I walk in with God, trust me, one
of those connections is a connection that's gonna take me
right where He needs me to be. So, family, what
I'm saying to you is, I was telling you the
whole story about me joining this organization because my friend
told me that I should. I joined the organization. I
was accepted, and then after a year, I realized this
(22:48):
organization is not for me. It didn't it didn't bring
me any more business. I felt like I was working
more than I should have been. Where I was like
pitch and speaking. I was just I was doing a lot,
and I really didn't feel like I was.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Getting a return on my investment.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So I relinquished my membership and I stepped out of
the organization. That was then, and I was being true
to myself then. But now as I've grown after the
pandemic some years later, we four years after, right twenty twenty, Now,
(23:29):
as I stand where I am in my life, I'm
ready because now I understand the value in it. I'm
ready to go back in and to re enter the
organization again. So it's pretty much knowing who is it
(23:50):
that you want to be and then living with integrity.
So right now, living with integrity, my truth is right
now in my life where where I am. I am
ready to put myself back in to this woman's organization,
and that is what I'm going to do. But I
didn't do it when it didn't feel good to me,
(24:13):
when it didn't feel like it was good for me,
just because it was good for my friend and she
does super well it serves her, but it wasn't good
for me. But guess what it's going to be good
for me now? Okay, now live with integrity. Number four,
Communicate honestly when you're being your authentic self, Communicate honestly.
(24:39):
Come on now, when you live in integrity, say what
you mean and mean what you say. If you don't
want to do it, say I don't want to do it.
If they invite you and say come on, you know
you're invited, then you I'm gonna decline nicely with love
your invitation. If I have something else to do, then
(25:01):
I have something to communicate honestly. Now, you don't need
to be hurting nobody's feelings and saying, well, really cause
I don't like y'all. Really, I don't want to be there.
You ain't my kind of people. You don't need to
do that. But you can communicate honestly, don't lie. Even
when you're in interpersonal relationships or friendships, communicate honestly who
(25:26):
are you? And we ain't trying to be disgusting. We
are trying to be fruitful and live with life and
fine happiness. So I want you to communicate your needs honestly,
communicate your once honestly, be honest, communicate your desires honestly.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Please do that.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Number five, be courageous, see, because that's what it's gonna take, right,
doing all of these things, It's going to take courage.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It's going to take courage.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
So yes, it sounds like sometimes when I'm meeting with
clients and we're doing some work, when they start with
me on the first day, some of the things that
you know we may be working through that I may suggest.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
They'll say, you know, Andrea, it.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Sounds so much easier than it is, and I'm like, yes,
but let me tell you something. Change starts one step
at a time with courage. How do you eat an
elephant one bite at a time with courage, because you
(26:35):
know elephants, they got good memories. But with courage, courage,
courage and patience. So I want you to be courageous.
Come on now, be courageous.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
God created you with purpose and he created you in
the way that he wants you to be. So my
thing is, if.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
You're loud like me, be loud, honey, come on now.
If you like to, I don't know, wear bright lipstick
like I do, wear bright lipstick. If you wanna wear
long nails, short nails, high heel boots, do it.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
If you want to wear your man you want to
wear sneakers with your suits, do it.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Like whatever it is that you wanna do, be you
be your authentic self, have the courage, the courage to
do so. And remember all of this comes from self knowledge.
You need to know yourself and self acceptance. When I
(27:53):
accepted years ago. You know, for years, people have always
told me since I was a little girl, you are
so loud. Or it really wasn't my friends, but maybe
it was like their parents, you know, would walk in
the room and they hear my laugh and they say, oh,
my goodness, that girl is so loud, you know, or
someone else.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
And this has just been it's been a soundtrack my
whole life.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
And you know, when I was younger, I used to
feel some shame in that. When I was very very young,
I used to feel some sham in that is, before
I got into my twenties, I would feel shameful. And then,
you know, as I really start rolling out and accepting
who I am, and I had this knowledge of who
(28:36):
I am and what I like. Honey, I am Andrea
and I am absolutely Oh, let me tell y'all something else.
Talking about self acceptance, and I talk a lot, I
absolutely do, And let me tell y'all something.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
This is another thing.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
You know, during childhood, if you are criticized, if you
are praised, and if you are rewarded, those things shape
your behavior because they teach us what's acceptable and what's unacceptable.
(29:13):
And as a child, you want to please. You really
want to please your nurturers. Right, So if it's your mom,
your dad, whoever's raising you, your grandparents, your auntie, like,
you want to please your nurturers because that's how life's
order is.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
That's what it's supposed to be. They're our first teachers.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
So if they have a criticized you for acting out
in some way or another, then you would not want
to be criticized because then net would be hurtful to you.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
So you would change your behavior. You got me.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
If you were rewarded for some behavior, then what you
would want to do is repeat that behavior over and
over and over and over again. If you were praised
for some behavior, then you would want to repeat that
behavior over and over again because you want to be
rewarded and you want to be praised. And parents do
the best that they know how to do. So what
(30:10):
I'm saying is this happens to all of us. And
as I'm just going back to me growing up, when
I was a young girl and when I was just
being myself, if I was too loud, then you know,
I was criticized for being loud. So then okay, well
I would try not to be loud. I couldn't never,
I just couldn not be loud. But what I would
(30:31):
do is is I would feel shamed after somebody would
point out that I was loud.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
But now, honey, I just I own it. I'm loud.
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
And another thing is, you know, all through childhood, all
of my report cards through grade school, okay, I was
a great student.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I stayed on the honor rolle.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
However, when my mother would get my report card, what
was consistent was, you know, I don't know if y'all remember,
but we had the report cards.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
They had the three folds.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
You open up the three folds, and this was I'm
not talking about one school, okay, I'm talking about two
schools and several different teachers.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Two. You had two schools and several different teachers.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
And so usually grades were good, always on the honor room.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
But then in that little square on.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
The side where they had comments, the teachers would always say,
she is a good student, but she talks too much.
It was consistent criticized for my talking.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
And okay, I get it.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I get it if you're trying to teach a classroom
and somebody's talking and not paying attention. And maybe I
was talking to somebody else, but I think them girls
were talking to me, or them boys they were talking
to me.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
I was just talking back. But point is right.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
I could see if talking could be disruptive in a classroom.
But I get it, But I am telling you I was.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
It was consistent. I was criticized consistently for talking too much. Well,
guess what. I have a job today, my life's work.
My purpose here on this earth is to use this
mouth and talk. Do you hear what I'm saying to you?
(32:23):
That is who I am? Authentically? God created me this girl,
this loud girl.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Okay, who is oh boy? Who is expressive and loud?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (32:40):
And pitchy? I've been called pitchy. Okay, I'm pitchy. I'm
owning it right. And who talks too much? God gave
all of those things to me. No, your strengthen your weaknesses.
So yeah, yeah, Now for a living, I get paid
to speak loudly in churches, to speak and talk loudly
(33:04):
at funeral rules, to speak and talk loudly.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
At schools, who speak and.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Talk loudly at corporations. Do you hear what I'm saying
to you? To speak and talk loudly sometimes not too often,
in sessions and coaching on my podcast Come on now,
Living or authentically having the courage, having the courage to
(33:34):
be you no matter what nobody else says.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
And this is the thing, don't you even think that
you need to be somebody other than you to keep
certain people, places, and things in your life. Because let
me say.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
This to you, if you being you does not keep
those people, places, and things in your life, it's because.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Those people, places, and things are not for you. Let
him go, let them go, let me listen.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Listen, listen, because you know who you need and what
you need, and all that you need is God, because
he'll do it all. And that's number six. Trust God.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Trust God.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
He's got your people, he's got your places, and he's
got your things, and he helped to create you.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
He sprinkled little dust on your magic on you and
gave you all that you are, all that you have,
all of your characteristics, God gave them to you.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
So stand up and use all of that.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Don't you ever shrink for no one else, no one else,
because God's got your back. God is already setting you up.
God has all the things for you, abundance, prosperity, He's
already seen the end of it. But he's waiting on
you to be you. Stop fighting and acting like you
(35:26):
somebody else. You don't need to please any people. The
only person you need to please is God, and you
please God by you being your authentic self. And let
me tell you how you're gonna do that. You're gonna
do that. By Number one, family, You're gonna identify your values.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
What are your values? Ask yourself? What do I value?
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Not somebody over there, not the church house, not that organization,
not those people, not that clique, No, what do I value?
Number two, You're gonna identify who it is that you
want to be while you are here on this earth.
Who do I wanna be? How do you wanna show up?
That's what you're gonna ask yourself. Number three, You're going
(36:16):
to live it out in integrity. Live with integrity, Mean
what you say, and say what you mean, Be honest,
be truthful. Don't you show up in the world as
a liar. Live with integrity. When you live with integrity,
when you live in truth, that is who you will
(36:38):
attract in your life. You will attract people who live
in integrity in your life. We attract what we are.
Anything you are more of you need to be first.
So you're gonna live with integrity. Number four, When you communicate,
You're gonna communicate honestly. When I'm being my authentic self. No,
(37:00):
cap I ain't lying. I'm not pretending that I'm not
putting on. I am communicating my needs and my wants honestly.
If I don't want to go, I am going to
say I cannot make it.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
I don't wanna go, can't make it. I'm not gonna
do it. Stop doing things that you don't want to do.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Communicate, stop lying and saying what you like when you
don't like it.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
If you don't want to eat it, don't eat it.
Say no.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Number five, be courageous and all of these things that
I'm telling you stand up.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Have the courage to be authentic.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
It is a choice courage because you will be making
the choice every day to be authentic, and it takes courage.
And when you lacking courage. Number six, You're gonna trust
God because he is He's got your back. He is
the outpha, the beginning, and oh maga, he is all things.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
And I told.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
You you do not have to wear read about once
you are your most authentic self.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
People, places and things falling off. You ain't gotta worry about.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
That because through God, He's going to supply all of
the people, places, and things that you need. In your life,
if you want to be happy, if you want to
live a life full of peace, I am telling you, family,
(38:32):
make the choice to be authentic and to live authentically.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
All Right, Family, I love you, Love you, love you.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
That is another episode of the Mental Health Is a
Lifestyle podcast with your Girl Andrea wise Brown. I'm your
girl and I will see you family.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
On the next episode. I love you.
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