August 6, 2025 • 7 mins
In this 7-minute solo episode, I unpack why stepping into the mothering role in romantic relationships can quietly erode intimacy, sexual polarity, and connection.
Drawing from relationship research, client sessions, and personal reflections, I explore how over-functioning leaves the role of “girlfriend” or “wife” unoccupied ,and what to do instead.
You’ll walk away with practical tools to shift this dynamic, and a gentle reminder: love doesn’t require you to parent your partner.
♾ In a fast-paced world like the one we live in, time is one of our most important assets. For a few minutes every episode, I, Tannaz Hosseinpour, will be discussing topics that aim to enhance the quality of your life, by helping you feel empowered to take inspired action on your personal growth journey.
Connect with me for daily insights on
Instagram
Facebook
TikTok
More resources available on www.minutesongrowth.com
This podcast is for educational purposes only. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein.
Drawing from relationship research, client sessions, and personal reflections, I explore how over-functioning leaves the role of “girlfriend” or “wife” unoccupied ,and what to do instead.
You’ll walk away with practical tools to shift this dynamic, and a gentle reminder: love doesn’t require you to parent your partner.
♾ In a fast-paced world like the one we live in, time is one of our most important assets. For a few minutes every episode, I, Tannaz Hosseinpour, will be discussing topics that aim to enhance the quality of your life, by helping you feel empowered to take inspired action on your personal growth journey.
Connect with me for daily insights on
TikTok
More resources available on www.minutesongrowth.com
This podcast is for educational purposes only. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You're listening to them Minutes on Growth Podcast, the show
that brings you mindfully curated insights into relationships, spirituality, personal
development and everything in between with your hosts ten as the.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Same Poor Hi, so friends, it's not the same, pur
and welcome back to another short solo episode of the
meds on Growth Podcast. In today's episode, we're diving into
something I see so often in sessions and here in
sisterhood spaces, and something I've actually experienced myself in a
previous relationship, and that is the pattern of stepping into
(00:41):
the mothering role in romantic relationships. This episode is not
about blame or shame. It's about awareness, emotional safety, and
reclaiming our feminine power and relationships balancing the yin and
the yang. Here's the truth. When you mother your partner,
(01:05):
the role of girlfriend, lover or wife becomes vacant. I'm
going to say that again. When you mother your partner,
the role of girlfriend, lover or wife becomes vacant. And
while it often comes from a good place like wanting
to support, help, or nurture, this dynamic can slowly erode
(01:30):
emotional intimacy, sexual polarity, and mutual respect. So let's explore
how it happens, why it's harmful, in what to do instead.
So let's start with some honesty. Many of us were
conditioned to overfunction, especially if you are a people pleaser,
the eldest daughter, or someone who grew up in a
(01:52):
home where emotional labor was your love language. So you
might have learned that love looks like reminding him of
his appointments, repacking his gym bag, cleaning up after him,
doing his emotional processing for him. But here's the thing
that's not partnership, that's parenting. And according to relationship researcher
(02:14):
doctor John Gotman, an imbalance of responsibility can lead to resentment, conflict,
and feelings of being undervalue. Now, a Godmin Institute emphasizes
that it's not necessarily about like dividing tasks fifty to fifty,
but rather about each partner feeling that their contributions are
(02:35):
recognized and appreciated and mothering. So constantly correcting, controlling, or
over managing your partner can actually breed resentment on both sides,
and that's dangerous because resentment can lead to contempt, which
is a major predictor of divorce. Their research actually shows
(02:56):
a ninety three percent likelihood. So why does it breed
resentment on both sides? Well, on the one hand, you
start to feel exhausted, underappreciated, and touch starved. But on
the other hand, he starts to feel belittled and masculated
(03:17):
and pulled away from his own agency, which then leads
to sexual polarity disappearing, the romantic connection fading. I actually
read a beautiful quote once which I think is attributed
to esther peerrel Not fully short, but it says something
along the minds of we want to have sex with
(03:40):
someone who excites us, not someone who exhausts us. Now
let's look at it from a different perspective. Let's look
at it from a nervous system lens. Because stepping into
the mothering role often feels safe and familiar. It gives
us a sense of control, especially if we fear being
(04:01):
abandoned or disappointed. It's the if I don't do it,
no one will want. But when we're always doing planning, fixing, managing,
we move into hypervigilance and not intimacy. And true partnership
thrives an interdependence, not caretaking. So if this is resonating,
(04:24):
I don't eat a panic. It's not a death sentence
for the relationship. But like always, awareness is the first
stop once we are aware of it. Here are some
practical ways to step out of the mothering dynamic and
back into your role as a partner. So first off,
notice the pattern with action. Ask yourself, am I overfunctioning
(04:49):
in areas where he can step up? Here's the important
part where he can step up, and then mining and
start releasing. Let him hold the consequences of forgetting or
messing up. Trust that discomfort can be a teacher. Next up,
(05:12):
use I statements to reclaim that energy. So try statement
like I've noticed that I've been feeling more like your
manager than your partner and it's affecting how connected I feel.
And then invite. Don't instruct, so instead of directing that
you should be doing this, invite collaboration. Ask how can
(05:37):
we both support the home or the relationship better? Or
if we want something more specific, I'm deeply craving deep
nights and feeling connected to you without the kids or
any other distractions. Can you schedule that night out for us?
And by doing all of this, we are reigniting polarity.
(05:58):
We are allowing ourselves to step by can to our
feminine the energy of softness, trust, receptivity, instead of constantly
being in the doing fixing energy. Remember, balancing the yin
and the yang is so key, So allow yourself to flir,
to receive, to express, to simply be so soul. Friends,
(06:21):
if you've been in this pattern like I have in
the past, I want you to know you are not
wrong for being nurturing. But love doesn't mean over responsibility,
and devotion does not mean depletion. You deserve to be
loved as a woman and not just appreciate it as
(06:43):
a caregiver. If this episode resonated, feel free to share
it with your loved ones. Thank you so much for
listening it speak.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
So thank you for joining us this week on Minutes
on Growth. If you enjoyed today's and make sure you
never miss a show by clicking the subscribe button now.
You're listening to them Minutes on Growth Podcast, the show
that brings you mindfully curated insights into relationships, spirituality, personal
development and everything in between with your hosts ten as the.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Same Poor Hi, so friends, it's not the same, pur
and welcome back to another short solo episode of the
meds on Growth Podcast. In today's episode, we're diving into
something I see so often in sessions and here in
sisterhood spaces, and something I've actually experienced myself in a
previous relationship, and that is the pattern of stepping into
(00:41):
the mothering role in romantic relationships. This episode is not
about blame or shame. It's about awareness, emotional safety, and
reclaiming our feminine power and relationships balancing the yin and
the yang. Here's the truth. When you mother your partner,
(01:05):
the role of girlfriend, lover or wife becomes vacant. I'm
going to say that again. When you mother your partner,
the role of girlfriend, lover or wife becomes vacant. And
while it often comes from a good place like wanting
to support, help, or nurture, this dynamic can slowly erode
(01:30):
emotional intimacy, sexual polarity, and mutual respect. So let's explore
how it happens, why it's harmful, in what to do instead.
So let's start with some honesty. Many of us were
conditioned to overfunction, especially if you are a people pleaser,
the eldest daughter, or someone who grew up in a
(01:52):
home where emotional labor was your love language. So you
might have learned that love looks like reminding him of
his appointments, repacking his gym bag, cleaning up after him,
doing his emotional processing for him. But here's the thing
that's not partnership, that's parenting. And according to relationship researcher
(02:14):
doctor John Gotman, an imbalance of responsibility can lead to resentment, conflict,
and feelings of being undervalue. Now, a Godmin Institute emphasizes
that it's not necessarily about like dividing tasks fifty to fifty,
but rather about each partner feeling that their contributions are
(02:35):
recognized and appreciated and mothering. So constantly correcting, controlling, or
over managing your partner can actually breed resentment on both sides,
and that's dangerous because resentment can lead to contempt, which
is a major predictor of divorce. Their research actually shows
(02:56):
a ninety three percent likelihood. So why does it breed
resentment on both sides? Well, on the one hand, you
start to feel exhausted, underappreciated, and touch starved. But on
the other hand, he starts to feel belittled and masculated
(03:17):
and pulled away from his own agency, which then leads
to sexual polarity disappearing, the romantic connection fading. I actually
read a beautiful quote once which I think is attributed
to esther peerrel Not fully short, but it says something
along the minds of we want to have sex with
(03:40):
someone who excites us, not someone who exhausts us. Now
let's look at it from a different perspective. Let's look
at it from a nervous system lens. Because stepping into
the mothering role often feels safe and familiar. It gives
us a sense of control, especially if we fear being
(04:01):
abandoned or disappointed. It's the if I don't do it,
no one will want. But when we're always doing planning, fixing, managing,
we move into hypervigilance and not intimacy. And true partnership
thrives an interdependence, not caretaking. So if this is resonating,
(04:24):
I don't eat a panic. It's not a death sentence
for the relationship. But like always, awareness is the first
stop once we are aware of it. Here are some
practical ways to step out of the mothering dynamic and
back into your role as a partner. So first off,
notice the pattern with action. Ask yourself, am I overfunctioning
(04:49):
in areas where he can step up? Here's the important
part where he can step up, and then mining and
start releasing. Let him hold the consequences of forgetting or
messing up. Trust that discomfort can be a teacher. Next up,
(05:12):
use I statements to reclaim that energy. So try statement
like I've noticed that I've been feeling more like your
manager than your partner and it's affecting how connected I feel.
And then invite. Don't instruct, so instead of directing that
you should be doing this, invite collaboration. Ask how can
(05:37):
we both support the home or the relationship better? Or
if we want something more specific, I'm deeply craving deep
nights and feeling connected to you without the kids or
any other distractions. Can you schedule that night out for us?
And by doing all of this, we are reigniting polarity.
(05:58):
We are allowing ourselves to step by can to our
feminine the energy of softness, trust, receptivity, instead of constantly
being in the doing fixing energy. Remember, balancing the yin
and the yang is so key, So allow yourself to flir,
to receive, to express, to simply be so soul. Friends,
(06:21):
if you've been in this pattern like I have in
the past, I want you to know you are not
wrong for being nurturing. But love doesn't mean over responsibility,
and devotion does not mean depletion. You deserve to be
loved as a woman and not just appreciate it as
(06:43):
a caregiver. If this episode resonated, feel free to share
it with your loved ones. Thank you so much for
listening it speak.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
So thank you for joining us this week on Minutes
on Growth. If you enjoyed today's and make sure you
never miss a show by clicking the subscribe button now.
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