June 19, 2025 • 22 mins
In this heartfelt episode, we’re opening up about the unique mental health challenges that come with being a husband, a father—and someone just trying to stay grounded. From the pressure to always “be strong” to the quiet moments of self-doubt, we’re diving into what it really feels like to carry the weight of responsibility while working on your mental health.
We’ll talk about the power of a strong support system, how positive affirmations can actually help rewire the brain, and why finding small moments of good—even in chaos—can make a big difference. You’ll hear why dad breaks aren’t selfish, how the right playlist can change your mindset, and how honest communication is one of the most underrated tools in healing.
This episode is for every dad, every partner, and every person trying to balance love, responsibility, and their own well-being. You’re not alone—and you don’t have to carry it all alone either.
We’ll talk about the power of a strong support system, how positive affirmations can actually help rewire the brain, and why finding small moments of good—even in chaos—can make a big difference. You’ll hear why dad breaks aren’t selfish, how the right playlist can change your mindset, and how honest communication is one of the most underrated tools in healing.
This episode is for every dad, every partner, and every person trying to balance love, responsibility, and their own well-being. You’re not alone—and you don’t have to carry it all alone either.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Welcome on into episode number two here on season two
of My Mental Health Breakdown podcast. My name is Frank
In this podcast is My Mental health Story. It's a
podcast where I share my struggles with depression, anxiety ocd anger,
(00:46):
having autism ADHD, and I share the tips and tricks
that I've learned over the years that has helped me
through some of my darkest moments. Yes, it's a very
transparent podcast. I'm an open book and I like to
(01:07):
be an open book because I feel that the stories
that I share and the tips that I share can
help someone out there. Men June is Men's Mental Health
Awareness Month, and there is some very scary statistics out
(01:39):
there about men's mental health, and one of those statistics
is around suicide in men. There was a very heartbreaking
story here a low about a man who committed suicide
(02:05):
and his daughter shared his story and shared her love
for him. Forever. Who may need this, whoever struggling and
going through what they're feeling is their darkest time, the
(02:29):
roughest patch. Just know you are loved. Just know that
you're wanted. You're wanted here. It may not seem like
that right now, especially with the thoughts that are running
(02:51):
through your head, but you are wanted, you are loved,
and just know, coming from somebody that was in a
similar space, a similar mind capacity, you will be okay.
(03:16):
You will be okay. This podcast this week is centered
around what I've done as a dad and as a
husband on some of the mental health struggles and how
I've kind of worked to get to where I'm at
(03:40):
right now, what I've done, and it all starts with
a support system, right. I know I talked briefly last
week around this, but finding that support system is really important,
and support system becomes the reason why you're going to fight, right,
(04:08):
the reason why you're gonna fight. And I have my kids,
I have my beautiful wife, I have my two cats,
my cats who I call dogs. That's another story for
a different time, or if you want to listen to
the other podcast I do, I talk a little bit
more about my dogs and fish named Duncan because we
(04:29):
got dunkin Donuts and then we got the fish the
same day, and they're my support system. I wake up
every morning saying to myself, I'm gonna wake up and
I'm gonna kick depression red in the ass because I'm
gonna fight for these guys, I'm gonna fight for them. Now.
(04:50):
There are some men out there, there are some women
out there. They're not as lucky. Maybe you feel you
do not have that support system right. Maybe you feel
that you know, I'm not married, I'm single, I just
got divorced, or whatever it may be. Now there are
(05:14):
many avenues out there too. Maybe you know embed a
support system, right, whether maybe you find it through church,
or you find it through other family or friends, or
maybe going to therapy or hell, you could always hit
me up and I will become your friend. I need
(05:37):
some friends. But it's always trying to find that support system.
It's very important. And like I said, I'm very lucky.
I have a very strong support system. But for those
that are not as lucky, you know, definitely try to
(05:58):
find that support, whether it is going to church like
I was saying, or therapy or friends or family, or
maybe you know, you head out one day on the
golf course and then you meet you meet somebody new
and you start talking. We are all going through something
in this world. We are all going through something, some
(06:19):
not as bad and others really bad. We all have
our battles. Just remember that we all have our battles.
What I try to do as a dad and a
husband is I try to kick off my day on
the right foot. Now, I'm going to say this with
a caveat right. There are some days you're not going
(06:41):
to have a great day, and meaning like you might
have a stressful work thing, or you might have a
stressful family moment or whatnot. And you got to come
to that realization relatively quick that some days are not perfect,
some days are not great, and there are some days
(07:04):
where you just got to push yourself a little bit harder,
a little bit harder. And and I know what it
feels like not wanting to get out of bed. I
know what it feels like sitting in a chair and
like I don't want to move from this spot. I
don't even want to go two feet. I have to
go to the bathroom, and I don't want to go
two feet to the bathroom. I don't even want to
do anything. But what I try to do is I
(07:26):
try to kick off my day on the right foot. Now,
sometimes when I have to go into the office and
those types of things, some things change and we'll talk
more about that in a future episode. But what I
like to do is. I like to wake up. I
like to refresh my area. So sometimes I'll just clean
my desk. I'll dust off my desk, or even if
I'm in the studio here, which is a bedroom, it's
(07:47):
it's nothing fancy, but I'll go over and I'll wipe
it down that desk. I'll make sure I have my
lighting all right. I know that seems like lighting or
do you film in a movie? No, but like my lighting,
Like I have some of these go V lights, and
I make sure the lights are bright, make sure they're fun.
Just just to have that good vibes going. I want
to get those good vibes headed in that right direction.
(08:09):
I want to get the day started on the right
foot as best as I can. I listen to a
lot of great music, so a lot of great music.
I turn on my favorite songs, and do not be
embarrassed with your favorite song. Guys. If you like Broadway,
listen to Broadway. If you like country, listen to country.
I have a mix of music and I put it on.
I sing, so I apologize to my neighbor, sorry, my family.
(08:32):
We have to, you know, listen to all my wonderful singing.
But it gets me in a good mood. Sometimes I'll
throw a little dance in there and just keeps me going,
keeps me going. I'll have a cup of coffee. I'll
try not to do anything stressful in that timeframe, you know,
like whether it's you know, whether it's checking a work email,
(08:56):
or whether it's watching the news or anything that's it
not going to like or like going on Twitter. And
I've been at fault to do all these things before.
And sometimes it works out because sometimes getting your day going,
like getting your schedule in order, which is great too.
But other times, you know, maybe you get that work email,
or maybe you get that you know, the news is
talking about something again that's just not happy, and then
(09:17):
on Twitter it's a political war, and it's like it
just makes you stressed. And sometimes I try to avoid that.
Some mornings, if I have some time, I like to
do some journaling, kind of write out some goals for
the day with the with the caveat again that's the
word of the day. Then maybe I won't reach out
my goals, but I'm going to try my best, and
you know, positive afformations. It really is. It's so crazy
(09:40):
to think this, but I've learned. I've learned that it
takes around twenty eight days to train your brain. And
let me tell you something. When I was really at
my worst of worst, I was like, I am not
waiting twenty eight goddamn days to train my brain. But
time moves very quickly. And if you say that positive information,
(10:04):
like I am a great person, I'm a great person.
If you do that every day, your brain, which is
mostly there to help you, right, there's you know, your
anxiety and your anxious things that happen. Like you know,
one of my anxious things is like when I use
the washroom, it says did you wash your hands good enough?
And it's like I did. So it's always trying to
look out for you. But this is an extra way
(10:26):
to get that brain positive. Say, hey, life's gonna be awesome.
I'm a great person. So you definitely have to work
on it and train your brain because you know, really,
if you say something over and over one day, well,
your brain's not gonna pick up on that, Right, It's
gonna pick up on a little bit of it, but
it's not gonna pick up on like you're not gonna
wake up the next day. And if you do, that's awesome.
That's awesome, but most people are not gonna wake up
the next day and go, oh, I you know I'm
(10:48):
not feeling in the awesomeness yet. Well, it's because you've
got to continue to train your brain and really continue
those positive affirmations and big the big key is continued
to fight, continue to fight. Like I said last week,
three weeks ago, I was not in the mood or
(11:10):
wanted to fight anymore. And I'm gonna be very, very,
very transparent on this podcast. If I would have walked
outside and got hit by a bus, I would have
been like, eh, whatever. But something in my head and
(11:31):
in my brain I said enough is enough. I am
fucking tired of telling myself every day that, hey, I
don't find to win anywhere. I don't want to be here.
I'm just so tired. I was tired of saying that
because every time I said something like that, I would
go downstairs and my kids would be playing, or my
(11:52):
wife would be making an awesome dinner. My kats would
be fighting each other, which is funny and cute at
the same time. I don't know how it is, but
it is. I stopped. I stopped. I said no, no, no, no,
I was like, I gotta fucking fight. I got to fight,
and I did and I did, and each week it
gets better. Each week, the fight continues and I feel
(12:16):
better each week. And there are moments that are sprinkled around,
right like yesterday I felt a little down on the dumps.
But since I was fighting last couple of weeks and saying, yeah,
I'm gonna kick this depression right in the mouth, it
wasn't as bad. And try to find that good. And
it's not easy. Trust me, it's not easy to find
(12:38):
the good. A lot of times if you watch the
news and you see what's going on in our world,
if you are on you know, social media or or
those things, and sometimes there's no good to be found.
You think, you think yourself, there's no good to be
found here? Where am I trying to find good? But
there is good to be found? And you know, to
(13:00):
reiterate something last week, you know, maybe my daughter shoot
one something at the library. I found that good. My
son had an awesome birthday party. I found the good.
My wife was the first one. That little Nemo, our
kid in who's really kind of taken a real liking
to because he's very shy still in those things. Those
(13:21):
are winds. So sometimes those winds may not be for you,
but also find some wins for yourself too. Right, the
one way I looked at it is my sugars. You know,
I've said before that I was in the hospital for
very high sugars. Right, my sugar has been good. I've
been eating some good food and my sugars have stained
stayed level. I felt really good about that. That's a
(13:43):
good win. My shorts are not as tight, even though
I'm getting a little bit of weight. I eat a
lot of meat and cheese. You know, these sugars, so yeah,
they're a little tight, but hey, for the most part,
they feel good. And as a dad and a husband,
I think one of the misconceptions that we get is
(14:04):
whether we were taught, you know, by our parents, which
I had a great dad and I still have a
great dad. He's still here. He was very good about,
you know, having He taught me to be fun, have fun,
have fun of life. That's what he taught me, have
fun of life. But sometimes as kids, you know, we're taught,
(14:25):
as you know, men, especially to you have to provide.
You have to be strong. You can't cry, you can't
do this. Don't do that. Don't do And while maybe
that was something back in the day that was taught,
it's not a way that is truly reflective of how
we are now shaped today. Because men, it is okay
(14:48):
to cry. Men, It is okay to you know, not
be able to give your one hundred and ten percent
every day. It is totally okay with that. You know,
some home, some some wives work. It's okay if you're
not providing. It's one of those things where I think,
(15:08):
you know, there's a new definite. We're we're the way
like this, we're all equal, right, So I think that
we get into the situation where we're taught all these
things and we you know, have to you know, like,
oh and I wasn't even taught this, but I felt like, well,
if I don't do this, then I'm gonna do that.
(15:29):
And no, that's that's the wrong way of thinking, because
it is okay to have feelings. It really is. I
cry at least once a week, maybe once every two weeks,
and it's a good cry. Sometimes I'll turn on a
song and it'll just make me cry. And I'm not
saying you have to force yourself to cry and all
that kind of thing. But it is okay to cry,
(15:49):
it's okay to be sad, it's okay not to accept. Well,
this is how it is. It's okay, it really is.
And the one thing that I've done as a dad
and a husband, and this is where it comes back
to maybe finding that support system is to take what
I call husband and dad breaks. Now. I try not
(16:11):
to do anything stressful. And there are some dads out
there and husbands and men who like to go golfing,
maybe they like to go fishing, maybe they like to,
you know, play some cards or what nott watch your
favorite show. I like to go to the movies by myself,
and it's kind of taking that break to reset, right.
So if it's not too stressful for you and you
(16:32):
enjoy it, go do it. Dads and husbands. Maybe take
that trip to go golfing, maybe it's with friends, or
maybe it's by yourself just to get your head together,
or maybe go to the movies like I do. It's
really finding those breaks to level set yourself and to
refresh your brain, maybe get your brain back on track,
because sometimes when there's a lot going on with family,
(16:53):
with work, with you know the world and everything else
that sometimes that you know you don't you don't think
you have time for yourself, and that is not sure
whether you have to block out an hour or block
out two hours and in between all the family time
and all that kind of stuff, and just do it.
Trust me, it really helps you out. And there are some
(17:15):
days where I will wake up in the morning and
I will do all my steps, I will sing, i
will dance, i will journal, and I'm still having a
rough go. I truly am just having a rough go.
And what I do when I have those patches of being,
you know, a rough go. If it's on a weekend,
I'll go catch a movie. And when I catch that movie,
it could be the dumbest movie ever. It could have
like things that are not believable. But I'm okay with
(17:36):
it because I have my bowl of popcorn or my
bucket of popcorn, and I have my zero sugar grape soda,
which is my favorite Fanta, and you really only find
those on the freestyle machines. So I'm very excited to
go to the movies and I watch the movie and
I get out of there and I'm level set and
I'm refreshed for the day I get home, I'm in
a good mood. I'm excited. And sometimes maybe you need
(17:57):
a little more. Maybe it's it's you know, and you
to go see a movie and then you need to
go grab some chicken wings. I don't know, sometimes you
need a little bit more. And sometimes you got to
just chuck up the day for being the day, and
you know, just take a few deep breaths, and you
got to be honest with your kids too. It's it's
very big to be honest, and I think it sets
(18:18):
a good way with your kiddos, right, So if you
say something to the kiddos like, hey, dad's having a
rough day, but he's going to get better. Like if
you're honest with your kids, that means a whole bunch
to not only yourself, but to them and they can
understand what you're feeling. Because I really think that it's
very big that you teach your kids what feelings and
(18:40):
you know what your needs are too, and just really
to communicate to them. And that's a big thing that
we do in our marriage. Right. So is you know,
it could be difficult, right sometimes when you're living with
a spot house or a significant other or a family
(19:02):
member that has a mental illness, and sometimes it's tough
on the other person. Right, there's a lot of there's
a lot of needs and a lot of you know,
a lot of additional worries and concerns. Right. So one
of the keys that I've learned is I always like
to try to communicate with my wife how I feel, like,
(19:22):
how I feel for the day, this is what I need.
So whether it's going to the movies for a couple hours,
you know, or right or I feel this way, I
feel I'm at a ten out of ten today with depression.
You know, really communicate. And I've learned that when you
communicate like that and may make some of those really
(19:45):
creddy times somewhat better because then your wife or your spouse,
your significant other knows like, hey, oh you're feeling really
down today. How can I help? Do you want me
to sit in the room with you? Do you want
to go to that movie? Do you want make your
favorite dinner? You know, your support system goes a long way.
(20:06):
It truly does. It truly truly does. And that's that's
you know, having that married life, right But if you
don't have that married life, you know, that's that's where
if you you maybe go to mass or if you
have a next therapy session you talk about and work
through some of those steps and those types of things
really really is is h is key. And you know,
(20:27):
having those nights where it is just the two of you,
especially if you're married, truly trying to find those nights
and we don't have time to go out. We have
two kids, they're younger, and there's a lot of work
involved with having kids, and especially when they're younger, and
sometimes you don't get that night where you're like, I'm
gonna go out to dinner blah blah blah. You know,
(20:48):
so you really got to find and put in the
work to find those moments. My wife and I we
usually about once a week. It's Tuesday nights. Usually we'll
order something in our favorite food and we'll watch our
favorite TV shows when the kids go to bed, and
that could be at eight o'clock or nine o'clock, or
in the summer, it could be hell, it could be
at ten o'clock for all I know. But we try
to find those times, those moments to have for each other.
(21:10):
And really, because if you think about it, that person
is your best friend, that person's been through a lot
of stuff with you. That person is the is the
person that you had your kids with. So it's really
finding that time because you know, sometimes the dynamic of
kids can be very crazy and very hectic, and sometimes
(21:30):
it doesn't end for a little bit. Right, you have
the young kids and then they're into sports, and then
there's this, and there's boys and girls and daity and
all this stuff. So you really got to find that
time not only for yourself that alone in those breaks,
but also with your best friend too. With your best friend.
All right, I want you guys to have a great week,
and if you need anything in the meantime, please do
(21:51):
not hesitate to email me my Mental Health Breakdown at
gmail dot com. Thank you for tuning in. Next week
is episode three. Have a great rest of your week
and I will see you back here next Thursday. Bye, everybody.
Welcome on into episode number two here on season two
of My Mental Health Breakdown podcast. My name is Frank
In this podcast is My Mental health Story. It's a
podcast where I share my struggles with depression, anxiety ocd anger,
(00:46):
having autism ADHD, and I share the tips and tricks
that I've learned over the years that has helped me
through some of my darkest moments. Yes, it's a very
transparent podcast. I'm an open book and I like to
(01:07):
be an open book because I feel that the stories
that I share and the tips that I share can
help someone out there. Men June is Men's Mental Health
Awareness Month, and there is some very scary statistics out
(01:39):
there about men's mental health, and one of those statistics
is around suicide in men. There was a very heartbreaking
story here a low about a man who committed suicide
(02:05):
and his daughter shared his story and shared her love
for him. Forever. Who may need this, whoever struggling and
going through what they're feeling is their darkest time, the
(02:29):
roughest patch. Just know you are loved. Just know that
you're wanted. You're wanted here. It may not seem like
that right now, especially with the thoughts that are running
(02:51):
through your head, but you are wanted, you are loved,
and just know, coming from somebody that was in a
similar space, a similar mind capacity, you will be okay.
(03:16):
You will be okay. This podcast this week is centered
around what I've done as a dad and as a
husband on some of the mental health struggles and how
I've kind of worked to get to where I'm at
(03:40):
right now, what I've done, and it all starts with
a support system, right. I know I talked briefly last
week around this, but finding that support system is really important,
and support system becomes the reason why you're going to fight, right,
(04:08):
the reason why you're gonna fight. And I have my kids,
I have my beautiful wife, I have my two cats,
my cats who I call dogs. That's another story for
a different time, or if you want to listen to
the other podcast I do, I talk a little bit
more about my dogs and fish named Duncan because we
(04:29):
got dunkin Donuts and then we got the fish the
same day, and they're my support system. I wake up
every morning saying to myself, I'm gonna wake up and
I'm gonna kick depression red in the ass because I'm
gonna fight for these guys, I'm gonna fight for them. Now.
(04:50):
There are some men out there, there are some women
out there. They're not as lucky. Maybe you feel you
do not have that support system right. Maybe you feel
that you know, I'm not married, I'm single, I just
got divorced, or whatever it may be. Now there are
(05:14):
many avenues out there too. Maybe you know embed a
support system, right, whether maybe you find it through church,
or you find it through other family or friends, or
maybe going to therapy or hell, you could always hit
me up and I will become your friend. I need
(05:37):
some friends. But it's always trying to find that support system.
It's very important. And like I said, I'm very lucky.
I have a very strong support system. But for those
that are not as lucky, you know, definitely try to
(05:58):
find that support, whether it is going to church like
I was saying, or therapy or friends or family, or
maybe you know, you head out one day on the
golf course and then you meet you meet somebody new
and you start talking. We are all going through something
in this world. We are all going through something, some
(06:19):
not as bad and others really bad. We all have
our battles. Just remember that we all have our battles.
What I try to do as a dad and a
husband is I try to kick off my day on
the right foot. Now, I'm going to say this with
a caveat right. There are some days you're not going
(06:41):
to have a great day, and meaning like you might
have a stressful work thing, or you might have a
stressful family moment or whatnot. And you got to come
to that realization relatively quick that some days are not perfect,
some days are not great, and there are some days
(07:04):
where you just got to push yourself a little bit harder,
a little bit harder. And and I know what it
feels like not wanting to get out of bed. I
know what it feels like sitting in a chair and
like I don't want to move from this spot. I
don't even want to go two feet. I have to
go to the bathroom, and I don't want to go
two feet to the bathroom. I don't even want to
do anything. But what I try to do is I
(07:26):
try to kick off my day on the right foot. Now,
sometimes when I have to go into the office and
those types of things, some things change and we'll talk
more about that in a future episode. But what I
like to do is. I like to wake up. I
like to refresh my area. So sometimes I'll just clean
my desk. I'll dust off my desk, or even if
I'm in the studio here, which is a bedroom, it's
(07:47):
it's nothing fancy, but I'll go over and I'll wipe
it down that desk. I'll make sure I have my
lighting all right. I know that seems like lighting or
do you film in a movie? No, but like my lighting,
Like I have some of these go V lights, and
I make sure the lights are bright, make sure they're fun.
Just just to have that good vibes going. I want
to get those good vibes headed in that right direction.
(08:09):
I want to get the day started on the right
foot as best as I can. I listen to a
lot of great music, so a lot of great music.
I turn on my favorite songs, and do not be
embarrassed with your favorite song. Guys. If you like Broadway,
listen to Broadway. If you like country, listen to country.
I have a mix of music and I put it on.
I sing, so I apologize to my neighbor, sorry, my family.
(08:32):
We have to, you know, listen to all my wonderful singing.
But it gets me in a good mood. Sometimes I'll
throw a little dance in there and just keeps me going,
keeps me going. I'll have a cup of coffee. I'll
try not to do anything stressful in that timeframe, you know,
like whether it's you know, whether it's checking a work email,
(08:56):
or whether it's watching the news or anything that's it
not going to like or like going on Twitter. And
I've been at fault to do all these things before.
And sometimes it works out because sometimes getting your day going,
like getting your schedule in order, which is great too.
But other times, you know, maybe you get that work email,
or maybe you get that you know, the news is
talking about something again that's just not happy, and then
(09:17):
on Twitter it's a political war, and it's like it
just makes you stressed. And sometimes I try to avoid that.
Some mornings, if I have some time, I like to
do some journaling, kind of write out some goals for
the day with the with the caveat again that's the
word of the day. Then maybe I won't reach out
my goals, but I'm going to try my best, and
you know, positive afformations. It really is. It's so crazy
(09:40):
to think this, but I've learned. I've learned that it
takes around twenty eight days to train your brain. And
let me tell you something. When I was really at
my worst of worst, I was like, I am not
waiting twenty eight goddamn days to train my brain. But
time moves very quickly. And if you say that positive information,
(10:04):
like I am a great person, I'm a great person.
If you do that every day, your brain, which is
mostly there to help you, right, there's you know, your
anxiety and your anxious things that happen. Like you know,
one of my anxious things is like when I use
the washroom, it says did you wash your hands good enough?
And it's like I did. So it's always trying to
look out for you. But this is an extra way
(10:26):
to get that brain positive. Say, hey, life's gonna be awesome.
I'm a great person. So you definitely have to work
on it and train your brain because you know, really,
if you say something over and over one day, well,
your brain's not gonna pick up on that, Right, It's
gonna pick up on a little bit of it, but
it's not gonna pick up on like you're not gonna
wake up the next day. And if you do, that's awesome.
That's awesome, but most people are not gonna wake up
the next day and go, oh, I you know I'm
(10:48):
not feeling in the awesomeness yet. Well, it's because you've
got to continue to train your brain and really continue
those positive affirmations and big the big key is continued
to fight, continue to fight. Like I said last week,
three weeks ago, I was not in the mood or
(11:10):
wanted to fight anymore. And I'm gonna be very, very,
very transparent on this podcast. If I would have walked
outside and got hit by a bus, I would have
been like, eh, whatever. But something in my head and
(11:31):
in my brain I said enough is enough. I am
fucking tired of telling myself every day that, hey, I
don't find to win anywhere. I don't want to be here.
I'm just so tired. I was tired of saying that
because every time I said something like that, I would
go downstairs and my kids would be playing, or my
(11:52):
wife would be making an awesome dinner. My kats would
be fighting each other, which is funny and cute at
the same time. I don't know how it is, but
it is. I stopped. I stopped. I said no, no, no, no,
I was like, I gotta fucking fight. I got to fight,
and I did and I did, and each week it
gets better. Each week, the fight continues and I feel
(12:16):
better each week. And there are moments that are sprinkled around,
right like yesterday I felt a little down on the dumps.
But since I was fighting last couple of weeks and saying, yeah,
I'm gonna kick this depression right in the mouth, it
wasn't as bad. And try to find that good. And
it's not easy. Trust me, it's not easy to find
(12:38):
the good. A lot of times if you watch the
news and you see what's going on in our world,
if you are on you know, social media or or
those things, and sometimes there's no good to be found.
You think, you think yourself, there's no good to be
found here? Where am I trying to find good? But
there is good to be found? And you know, to
(13:00):
reiterate something last week, you know, maybe my daughter shoot
one something at the library. I found that good. My
son had an awesome birthday party. I found the good.
My wife was the first one. That little Nemo, our
kid in who's really kind of taken a real liking
to because he's very shy still in those things. Those
(13:21):
are winds. So sometimes those winds may not be for you,
but also find some wins for yourself too. Right, the
one way I looked at it is my sugars. You know,
I've said before that I was in the hospital for
very high sugars. Right, my sugar has been good. I've
been eating some good food and my sugars have stained
stayed level. I felt really good about that. That's a
(13:43):
good win. My shorts are not as tight, even though
I'm getting a little bit of weight. I eat a
lot of meat and cheese. You know, these sugars, so yeah,
they're a little tight, but hey, for the most part,
they feel good. And as a dad and a husband,
I think one of the misconceptions that we get is
(14:04):
whether we were taught, you know, by our parents, which
I had a great dad and I still have a
great dad. He's still here. He was very good about,
you know, having He taught me to be fun, have fun,
have fun of life. That's what he taught me, have
fun of life. But sometimes as kids, you know, we're taught,
(14:25):
as you know, men, especially to you have to provide.
You have to be strong. You can't cry, you can't
do this. Don't do that. Don't do And while maybe
that was something back in the day that was taught,
it's not a way that is truly reflective of how
we are now shaped today. Because men, it is okay
(14:48):
to cry. Men, It is okay to you know, not
be able to give your one hundred and ten percent
every day. It is totally okay with that. You know,
some home, some some wives work. It's okay if you're
not providing. It's one of those things where I think,
(15:08):
you know, there's a new definite. We're we're the way
like this, we're all equal, right, So I think that
we get into the situation where we're taught all these
things and we you know, have to you know, like,
oh and I wasn't even taught this, but I felt like, well,
if I don't do this, then I'm gonna do that.
(15:29):
And no, that's that's the wrong way of thinking, because
it is okay to have feelings. It really is. I
cry at least once a week, maybe once every two weeks,
and it's a good cry. Sometimes I'll turn on a
song and it'll just make me cry. And I'm not
saying you have to force yourself to cry and all
that kind of thing. But it is okay to cry,
(15:49):
it's okay to be sad, it's okay not to accept. Well,
this is how it is. It's okay, it really is.
And the one thing that I've done as a dad
and a husband, and this is where it comes back
to maybe finding that support system is to take what
I call husband and dad breaks. Now. I try not
(16:11):
to do anything stressful. And there are some dads out
there and husbands and men who like to go golfing,
maybe they like to go fishing, maybe they like to,
you know, play some cards or what nott watch your
favorite show. I like to go to the movies by myself,
and it's kind of taking that break to reset, right.
So if it's not too stressful for you and you
(16:32):
enjoy it, go do it. Dads and husbands. Maybe take
that trip to go golfing, maybe it's with friends, or
maybe it's by yourself just to get your head together,
or maybe go to the movies like I do. It's
really finding those breaks to level set yourself and to
refresh your brain, maybe get your brain back on track,
because sometimes when there's a lot going on with family,
(16:53):
with work, with you know the world and everything else
that sometimes that you know you don't you don't think
you have time for yourself, and that is not sure
whether you have to block out an hour or block
out two hours and in between all the family time
and all that kind of stuff, and just do it.
Trust me, it really helps you out. And there are some
(17:15):
days where I will wake up in the morning and
I will do all my steps, I will sing, i
will dance, i will journal, and I'm still having a
rough go. I truly am just having a rough go.
And what I do when I have those patches of being,
you know, a rough go. If it's on a weekend,
I'll go catch a movie. And when I catch that movie,
it could be the dumbest movie ever. It could have
like things that are not believable. But I'm okay with
(17:36):
it because I have my bowl of popcorn or my
bucket of popcorn, and I have my zero sugar grape soda,
which is my favorite Fanta, and you really only find
those on the freestyle machines. So I'm very excited to
go to the movies and I watch the movie and
I get out of there and I'm level set and
I'm refreshed for the day I get home, I'm in
a good mood. I'm excited. And sometimes maybe you need
(17:57):
a little more. Maybe it's it's you know, and you
to go see a movie and then you need to
go grab some chicken wings. I don't know, sometimes you
need a little bit more. And sometimes you got to
just chuck up the day for being the day, and
you know, just take a few deep breaths, and you
got to be honest with your kids too. It's it's
very big to be honest, and I think it sets
(18:18):
a good way with your kiddos, right, So if you
say something to the kiddos like, hey, dad's having a
rough day, but he's going to get better. Like if
you're honest with your kids, that means a whole bunch
to not only yourself, but to them and they can
understand what you're feeling. Because I really think that it's
very big that you teach your kids what feelings and
(18:40):
you know what your needs are too, and just really
to communicate to them. And that's a big thing that
we do in our marriage. Right. So is you know,
it could be difficult, right sometimes when you're living with
a spot house or a significant other or a family
(19:02):
member that has a mental illness, and sometimes it's tough
on the other person. Right, there's a lot of there's
a lot of needs and a lot of you know,
a lot of additional worries and concerns. Right. So one
of the keys that I've learned is I always like
to try to communicate with my wife how I feel, like,
(19:22):
how I feel for the day, this is what I need.
So whether it's going to the movies for a couple hours,
you know, or right or I feel this way, I
feel I'm at a ten out of ten today with depression.
You know, really communicate. And I've learned that when you
communicate like that and may make some of those really
(19:45):
creddy times somewhat better because then your wife or your spouse,
your significant other knows like, hey, oh you're feeling really
down today. How can I help? Do you want me
to sit in the room with you? Do you want
to go to that movie? Do you want make your
favorite dinner? You know, your support system goes a long way.
(20:06):
It truly does. It truly truly does. And that's that's
you know, having that married life, right But if you
don't have that married life, you know, that's that's where
if you you maybe go to mass or if you
have a next therapy session you talk about and work
through some of those steps and those types of things
really really is is h is key. And you know,
(20:27):
having those nights where it is just the two of you,
especially if you're married, truly trying to find those nights
and we don't have time to go out. We have
two kids, they're younger, and there's a lot of work
involved with having kids, and especially when they're younger, and
sometimes you don't get that night where you're like, I'm
gonna go out to dinner blah blah blah. You know,
(20:48):
so you really got to find and put in the
work to find those moments. My wife and I we
usually about once a week. It's Tuesday nights. Usually we'll
order something in our favorite food and we'll watch our
favorite TV shows when the kids go to bed, and
that could be at eight o'clock or nine o'clock, or
in the summer, it could be hell, it could be
at ten o'clock for all I know. But we try
to find those times, those moments to have for each other.
(21:10):
And really, because if you think about it, that person
is your best friend, that person's been through a lot
of stuff with you. That person is the is the
person that you had your kids with. So it's really
finding that time because you know, sometimes the dynamic of
kids can be very crazy and very hectic, and sometimes
(21:30):
it doesn't end for a little bit. Right, you have
the young kids and then they're into sports, and then
there's this, and there's boys and girls and daity and
all this stuff. So you really got to find that
time not only for yourself that alone in those breaks,
but also with your best friend too. With your best friend.
All right, I want you guys to have a great week,
and if you need anything in the meantime, please do
(21:51):
not hesitate to email me my Mental Health Breakdown at
gmail dot com. Thank you for tuning in. Next week
is episode three. Have a great rest of your week
and I will see you back here next Thursday. Bye, everybody.
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