Car Blindness

Remi admits to Liz her embarrassing, dangerous, might-get-her-arrested secret... she has car blindness. What the hell is car blindness? Listen and find out.

Episode Transcript

(00:08):
Welcome to my weekly panic Attack.I'm your host, Remy Brooks. I've
been a licensed psychotherapist for over twentyyears and run a thriving private practice.
I'm also diagnosed s bipolar an OCD. Often the two do not mix well,
which tends to throw my life intocomplete chaos. So as I do

(00:32):
some spiraling, my best friend Lizwin will do her best to ground me
a bit. During this podcast,we'll be talking about the horror and the
humor of the anxieties of daily life, the things we do that are embarrassing,
funny but yet very human. Let'sget started, and there's no better

(00:57):
way to get started than by beginningthis episode and all episodes with my friend
and co host, the beautiful,intelligent, and ever rational Liz When.
How are you, Liz good?How are you doing? Remy? Well,

(01:19):
I'm actually a little stressed out.I'm not feeling great today. We're
going to be talking about something that'skind of serious and can actually really get
me into trouble, like legal trouble. And this just happened last week,

(01:40):
So not feeling great, but we'lltalk about that. SKA. Okay,
First, here's a well adjusted momentfrom Liz's life. I made a driving
r I almost exited the shopping center. Are going in the wrong direction when

(02:01):
another woman was driving in. Youknow, I caught it. I stopped
and I waved her on. Shewas in the right of way. I
was absolutely wrong. However, shemistook my wave and thought that I gave
her the finger. She then deadstopped her car, got out and started
yelling and screaming and cursing at me. Okay, so let me guess then

(02:27):
you really gave her the finger andmade sure your screams were much louder than
hers. Right, No, Remy, you know I was the one who
would have looked like an idiot,so I just waved her goodbye and drove
off. Well, of course youdid, and this has been a well

(02:49):
adjusted moment from Liz's life. Guesswhat time it is, Liz, What
time is it? It's time I'mfor me to tell you what the hell
I'm stressed out about now? Sowhat is it this week? Oh?
God, Hi, my name isRemy and I break into cars. That's

(03:17):
really not the way to introduce yourselfto people. But okay, Liz,
it just happened again last week.Oh God, thankfully the police were not
called, but this latest incident.After this happened, I began to reflect,

(03:38):
and during this reflection, I realizedthat this is a pattern that has
existed throughout my entire driving life.Now, as a therapist, I have
gone through the DSM cover to cover, so I feel like I can wholeheartedly

(03:59):
say that I am not this,that this is not a DSM diagnosis.
I have many mental health diagnoses,but this isn't one of them. I'm
also pretty sure that this is nota medical diagnosis. And yet this is
a real thing, but it can'tpossibly be a remy thing. So what

(04:23):
is this diagnosis? Okay, Okay, this is what is it called?
Okay, hold on, because Ireally think that many people experience this,
even though I have never ever heardanybody talk about this, and this happens

(04:51):
to me in many different kind ofways. So this is what I characterize
it. I characterize it all underone right umbrella, and I characterize it
as a term that does not exist. And you ask me what I call
it? What do you call it? I call it car blindness. And

(05:15):
again I really need to emphasize thatwhile it's not in the DSM, and
I don't think it's a medical diagnosis. I am not making this up.
It is a real thing. Areyou practicing this for like the cops the
next time they actually are called?No, although now that you mentioned it,

(05:42):
I really should like rehearse this alittle bit so that I do have
it on hand for when the copsare called. That is actually a very
good idea. I am turning fiftythis year, and this kind of stuff
has been happening to me throughout allof my driving years, beginning with the
very first year I got my driver'slicense at sixteen, and I think that's

(06:06):
the story that I want to sharewith you today. Okay, okay,
So when I was sixteen, Iborrowed my dad's white Maxima to drive you
all of four blocks to seven eleven. We had a chocolate brown lab named
Sassy, who was possibly the greatestcar companion ever. I took her with

(06:31):
me everywhere I drove, so obviouslyshe accompanied me on this trip to seven
eleven. And the trip was veryuneventful. We arrived, I parked,
I went into the store, Igot whatever it was I was there for.
I exited, I went back tomy dad's car. Do you remember
back in the day. How youhad to lock and unlock doors before we

(06:56):
had key fobs, Yes, withthe actual key. Yeah, you had
to actually put the key in thekey slot and turn it to unlock it.
So you remember, do you rememberthat? Okay? So I got
to my dad's car, and Iput the key in the key slot and
I unlocked the door. I buckledup, I put the key in the

(07:20):
ignition, and I drove home,you know, the four blocks, A
totally uneventful trip home. Now,I grew up in the row homes of
northeast Philadelphia, so all parking wasparallel parking, and I was lucky enough
to have a space open right infront of the house, and I parallel

(07:45):
parked be beautifully, jackpot beautifully exactly. Now, you know, being born
in Philly and driving in Philly,when one does an amazing job parallel parking,
there's like a bit of a highthat comes with that. So I

(08:07):
was feeling that particular high as Igot out of the car and locked the
car behind me. Only that highdidn't last very long. Why is that?
My dad happened to have been outsidetalking to the neighbors when he saw

(08:30):
me get out of the car,so he was impressed with your parking job.
Right, No, he was not. He instead said whose car is
that? What? Yeah? Itoo was confused, but I was confused
because my father was not an idiot. So I asked him, what kind

(08:58):
of question is that? It's yourcar? No, it is not.
Where's my car? Keep it?He was angry, Liz, He was
very, very angry. But Itruly didn't understand because this was his car.

(09:26):
He grabbed the keys from my hand, told me to get into the
passenger seat. He got into thedriver's seat, and he asked me,
where is my car? Confused,I mean be and confused, but I

(09:46):
did manage to tell him that Ihad just come from seven to eleven and
so oh no. We drove forthe longest four or block drive of my
entire life. You didn't notice thatthis car has leather seats, and Hours

(10:11):
doesn't, No, I said,with the shaking board. But Dad,
the key fit. You didn't noticethat this car has automatic locks and windows
and Hours doesn't. Tears tears,Liz tears, Well, up, Dad

(10:39):
the key fit. You didn't noticethat this car has a sunroof, and
Hours doesn't. I never looked up. Oh my god, is a farrent
like a fifty story building. Hedidn't get to the best part. Where's

(11:03):
the dog? Okay, it's coming, it's coming. So I just repeat
but but that, but that,but that, but but that the key
fit. We're gonna take a quickbreak and we'll be right back, Liz.

(11:24):
He takes a breath, a longa, a long, deep breath,
and then he asks me, where'sSassy. I think my heart stopped

(11:48):
for much longer than what would beconsidered healthy, because Sassy was his dog
like he liked her a lot.Oh my god, did he love her.
I mustered up all the faith Ihad ever had that perhaps there really

(12:13):
was a God, and I slowlylook in the back of his car that
I now know is not my fathers, and I search for Sassy, who
was so obviously not there, andI somehow squeak out she must be in

(12:41):
the car that I left at seveneleven. Oh oh no, oh,
no, you left Sassie. Nowyou see, you have to understand there
was a hierarchy in our family.We all knew it, we accepted it.
My dad loved Sassy above all ofus. Then came my mother,

(13:11):
right, and then it was mysister and I we were tied for last
place, last place after your dogand the mom exactly, which which was
fine. You know, it wasjust it was the way it was right.
If my father had been a violentman, that there would have been

(13:37):
the end of me. And so, you know, I actually suppose in
that moment, I really did realizethat there must be a god because my
father did not kill me, andthat was the true miracle of the day.
After seeing my life flash before myeyes, we pulled into the seven
to eleven parking lot to fine mindmultiple police cars. Oh my god,

(14:05):
uh huh wow. The man whosecar I advertantly in it, advertantly stole,
inadvertently set it doesn't help putting theinadvertently in front of it to the
police. It does, Liz,it does. And then there were many

(14:31):
many people who were just standing bywatching how this whole thing was going to
play out. Meanwhile, I wasterrified as I realized that I was going
to prison for auto the ff atsixteen. Uh yeah, yeah. My
dad jumped out of the car,jumps out, screams for me to do

(14:52):
the exact same. He runs tohis car in order to calm Sassy down,
who must have been very traumatized byall of this. I assure you,
Liz, it was not Sassy whowas traumatized. Yes, exactly.

(15:16):
Sassy needed no calming down. Shewas beyond thrilled by all of the attention
she was receiving from all of hernew police friends and all of her new
stranger friends. She was having agreat day, maybe one of the best
days of her life. Unlike you, I stood next to the inadvertent stolen

(15:48):
her car, trying very hard toenjoy what was probably my last few moments
of freedom before I would be putbehind bars, quite possibly for the rest
of my life. My father stillcomforting Sassy, who was so busy wagging

(16:18):
her tail and giving kisses to everyone. At some point, notice that all
the police, all of them andthere were many, were staring at him.
So what does he do. Hepoints his finger directly at me and

(16:45):
says, she's the one who stolethe car. Your father dimed you out
to the cops. Why, yes, he did. And now ow they're
all looking at me, And Ivery vividly remember, sort of like a

(17:15):
montage of my childhood, all ofthe times my daddy told me, honey,
you will always be safe with me. I would throw myself in front

(17:36):
of a moving bus for you,And here he is throwing me under the
bus. Yeah he threw and hethrew you under and then rolled backwards on
yah. Yeah, with no hesitation, may I add ah? And I

(18:04):
slowly, very slowly approached the mobhanging around my father's car, because clearly
the police one answers it was alljust a misunderstanding. I explained, there
was no malaitant. I wasn't tryingto steal the car. I left seven

(18:30):
to eleven and there were two whiteMaximus parked right next to each other.
They looked exactly the same. Therewas absolutely no possible way to tell them
apart. I thought it the sunroofand the interior. Do you have to

(18:52):
bring that up as because the copsbrought it up? You need to throw
it in my face to Liz andyou were a friend, this is what
you do, I tell them.I walked up to the first car,
thinking it was my dad's. Imean, had the other guy come out
first, he very easily could havemade the exact same mistake. And the

(19:17):
door was locked. I needed touse the key and guess what the key
fit, so there was no reasonto question this, I got into the
car, I used the key toturn it on again. The key it
turned on the car. This wasreally, if you think about it,

(19:41):
not my fault could have happened toanyone. And then, like you pointed
out the obvious car, The police, the owner of the other car,

(20:06):
and my dad all told me ofthe many, many differences between the two
cars, most notably the fact thatmy father's car had a very large dog
sticking half her body out the window. You know what, Fine, Fine,

(20:26):
Okay, let's just say that weall made good points. I apologized,
I truly and sincerely apologized. Thething is, Liz, this happened

(20:48):
over thirty years ago, right,and I am still stuck on the fact
that the key and no one seemedto care except me. Do you know

(21:08):
if my kid came home in thewrong car but the key fit, I
would totally get it. I wouldn'tbe the least bit angry. I still
have no idea why everybody was soangry about this. I don't get it.

(21:30):
The only way even today that Iknow which car is mine is because
it's the only car parked in mydriveway, but in a public parking lot.
Forget it. It's always a guessinggame, and I try to set

(21:53):
my car apart from others to makethings easier for me. I have in
the front have a pink, fuzzysteering wheel cover, so like I can
tell my car from the front.Okay, that's a no mess. Yes,
And on the back I have differentmagnets so I can tell my car

(22:14):
from the back. But honestly,sometimes I win and sometimes I still lose.
Anyway, Ultimately, the rightful ownerof the other Maxima took his car

(22:37):
drove away. There was no chargesagainst me. I wasn't going to prison,
Thank god, this whole thing wasending. At this point, my
dad, Sassy, and I werethe only ones left, with just one
police officer who needed to conclude thisreport right. And my father asked the

(23:00):
cop if he and Sassy could leavewithout me, without you. He was
going to leave you behind, leavewithout me because he couldn't stand the sight
of me in that moment. AndI stood there and cried because, by

(23:26):
the way, that was not themost stupid thing I had ever done.
Things like this they happen to me. My dad should not have been unable
to stand the sight of me.I've done worse I promise, and never

(23:48):
on purpose. You know me,You know me. For so long,
things just hap exactly. They justhappened. They happened then, and they
happen now. And so my dadand Sassy left me with the cop.

(24:14):
Now, this very nice police officerasked me if I wanted a ride home,
which I did. That was verynice of him. It was very
nice of him. So he openedhis back door and he rolled down the
window for me, and I lookat him kind of appalled God, and

(24:41):
I asked him, can't I sitin the front with you because the back
is like for criminals. You didjust steal your he reminded me, Yeah,

(25:07):
good point. So I get intothe back seat of the police car.
Hey, at least he didn't cuffyou. He did not. And
I stick my head out the window, just like Sassi had done a few
minutes earlier. And as the policeofficer begins to drive me home, I

(25:30):
said, hey, just so youknow, the key fit. See,
this is just one form of carblindness. I truly could not tell the

(25:51):
difference between the two cars. Theylooked exactly the same to me. Throughout
my entire you're driving life, Ihave had many, many experiences with car
blindness, and they've taken like differentforms than this particular story, but they

(26:17):
all fall under the umbrella of carblindness, and it's a problem. Now
I can look back at the storyand I can see how I just really
wasn't paying attention. I absolutely shouldhave noticed a large dog sticking your body

(26:37):
out of the car. That isnoticeable the leather seats. But that's the
thing, I really I didn't seeit. I truly did not see any
differences to the exterior were the interiorof these cars. And this happens time

(27:03):
and time again. Last week therewas yet another incident which easily could have
led to yet another police encounter.And I've had a couple. I mean,
I'm glad you're you're getting this.You're getting good at the If the
key fits, you must acquit theoryon the law. It's working for you.

(27:29):
But I don't understand in the sameand age, there aren't keys.
They're all key vobs, yes,yes, oh, and yet I am
still managing to break into cars.It's it's an issue. So I don't

(27:55):
know what this is called. I'velike researched the hell out of this,
and it's definitely not called carblindness.I think that's what it should be called.
Since I haven't found the correct namefor it, that's what I'm calling
it. And I am absolutely positivethat I am not the only person who

(28:18):
experiences this. That just it can'tbe. This is absolutely a real thing.
This has to be a real thing. So if anybody else experiences car
blindness in any type of way,or if you know what the real name
is, or if you've actually gottenyourself in real trouble, because I know

(28:44):
it's only a matter of time beforeI do, can you please let us
know your story. I kind ofneed to know that I am not alone
in this. This is a realthing, right, Maybe you'll get some
validation from someone else who has hadthis issue, that is what I'm looking

(29:10):
for. Or maybe you've just discoveredsomething new and you can write to the
Psychological Society and have it called theREMI carblindness disease. No, it's not
new. It is a real thing. It is a real thing that many
others suffer with as well. I'mpositive of that. I just haven't met

(29:33):
anybody else. I haven't heard anystories. I need to hear stories.
You can reach us at Voyage Mediaat Twitter, Instagram, and on Facebook.
And you can reach out directly tome at Panicked Remy on Twitter,
Instagram, and Facebook.