Charlie Vollmar - From Outed to Reborn: Chef Charlie’s New Chapter - Out Late With David

Episode Transcript
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[Music]

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You're listening to Outlet with David. True Star is of coming out later in life.
And now, here's your host, David Cun.
Hello and welcome to this episode of Outlet with David.
Today, we are fortunate to be in Palm Springs, California, a beautiful day with Chef Charlie Volmer.
And if you recall, he is one of our guests from 18 months ago.

(00:36):
In fact, his show remains the number one on the channel.
Has the most likes and comments of powerful stories.
So I thank you very much for that.
And your social media presence actually helped us grow because your followers then follow this on.
That's the whole dynamics that's cool about social media is the collaboration that can take place.
So glad we can meet today in person. It was kind of nice. We met each other virtually.

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But never actually got to give you some of the hug after meeting online to do all that.
And as I understand, you're here for a Sister City program, which we'll talk about later.
But thanks again for this update. Welcome.
Grab it again.
[Music]

(01:20):
Well, let's jump right in. Your first interview.
It stands out as you share your story very publicly.
And that was kind of the first time. How did that feel when you actually sat down there and shared that so broadly?
Well, I think we have talked about my journey from my coming out in January 23 and myself.

(01:41):
And then being outed in May of that year, 23.
And my journey became very public, very quickly.
Just beginning to understand who I was, how I was kind of perceived or navigate my life forward.
And we've spoken about before my narrative about it used to take several hours to explain from beginning to end.

(02:04):
And now it's about a two minute elevator speech.
And the same amount of content is there, but it's the abbreviated.
Being public though was not something I intended to do.
But it just became a part of my journey and the part of who I became as more of a public figure as an ally for coming out later.

(02:30):
And it had another respond when they saw you, having known you, someone knew you and other folks.
What was that feedback like that you received?
You know, I'm from East Bay San Francisco and I was there 30 years, so there are a lot of relationships there.
And I was safe to this day.
It diminished greatly. I don't communicate with most many people there.

(02:52):
I think I've for one reason or another, I've lost a lot of contact with people just because of actually meeting me being a mech school now.
So, but I do know that the contact and the communication with most of the people from my past.
How does that story-childing help you build possibly bridges to other communities and other places in life?

(03:18):
Well, I think my living in Mexico makes a big difference for me.
It's a transition that I'm really now finally becoming comfortable with now two years.
You know, it affects my work. It affects my social calendar. It affects my social media presence.

(03:40):
It really has become, you know, I posted today on threats about my new colorful life, which most bills don't get a chance to remake themselves.
I've been given that opportunity and partially forced into that. But my point of the poster day was you only have one life to live and make the most of it possible.

(04:05):
Reinvigin, that's a great, maybe jumping off point.
If you haven't seen the episode, go back and he pills the story when he left San Francisco area, the Bay area.
It was with two carry-ons, a red backpack, a laptop and a cup of coffee.
We have a picture of that we posted. And then you're literally restarted your life by ending up eventually in San Miguel.
What drew you to that direction and how did you build upon that?

(04:30):
I had visited San Miguel a couple years earlier and I have friends from the area who had places there part time living.
And so I was encouraged to come down and see it become part of my replica for my tour company. And so I did, I think I did four tours there before even before I came out.
And so I knew it. I knew it very well. I knew I had some friends there. And I kind of call it rolling over the border. I really didn't have an intention to live there or stay there indefinitely.

(05:00):
And within about a year I got my visa, my son, I have a temporary visa and so I'm a resident now. I'll become permanent in two years.
And I just continue to nurture my new chosen family, which are the people I already know it's interesting what happens with the straight couples I knew I don't see them as much as I used to.
Have other friends there. And it's a very welcoming community. It's very cosmopolitan.

(05:27):
There are a lot of trappings that keep expats here about 20,000 of us. No, we're better and percent of population in the city in the city. Wow.
In the surrounding area. But it's about 100 almost 200,000 people in the in San Miguel proper. And so we were about 20,000.
So and the gay community is very welcoming. We have a lot of social aspects. There are a lot of things that made Mexico attractive to be able to live there and sustainably live there.

(05:54):
Class of living is a big issue. When you give up everything you ever owned and you're starting from scratch, I'm needing to be careful about how I proceed forward.
And the barrier was to to PIC to live as most of the US is including Palm Springs.

(06:15):
Yeah, because they are. So, but it just and it's also for most of us health care is the big issue so we're close to California. We're close to medical, you know, catastrophic medical issues as we get older.
And so and my kids are still there and eventually we will communicate at some point. I'm sure.
So I wanted to be a year was too far and Victor would just seem to be a good option. And part of that severing that I've talked about before where I really needed to be.

(06:43):
What did Mexico give you or provide that you didn't know you needed?
It's a great question because a lot of us get very complacent in our lives. And Mexico does a couple of things for me and I just realized it recently.
It keeps you hyper aware. It challenges your mind every day. And you know what they say when you get older, you're supposed to do word games and card games.

(07:10):
And so, the other thing is to go up your mind active and play bridge why don't play bridge so Mexico is a very engaging place and every day Mexican life presents different challenges and everything takes more time for effort for whenever.
And if you finally get to do and finalize what you set up to do, you're lucky.

(07:32):
The process to get to that point does challenge your mind every day. You walk outside the language, the food, the cobblestones. It's a very treacherous place in a lot of wounds.
So we're constantly challenged by life there. And I think that makes it more interesting. You know, life in the very became very again very complacent.
You even knew what you're in for everybody, wherever you live in one place for 30 years. Yeah.

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It just becomes too easy. And so that I was looking for that.
How did that pivot change the way you approach your craft as a chef, food and all of those things integrated with that?
Good question. I still I've reopened my cooking school in San Miguel and then central, which is the historic center.

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And I'm providing classes for the expats and immigrants expats or those who are stubborn, they pop in and out. Other immigrants are the old type.
And we're careful with our words for the locals. And we have a lot of tourists who come in as well.
So every week there's a new batch of tourists coming in. So I teach French and Italian cooking.

(08:40):
I really have to be careful in we making myself there because I don't want to step on toes. I don't want to create conflict with the locals and take opportunity from others.
So I get a lot of requests from Mexican cuisine and I have free shops that I refer all that business to because they're the experts.
So I maintain French Italian and the Spanish cooking and that's my kind of niche there.

(09:05):
And there aren't many people doing that at all. So it does care is somebody travels to Mexico. It's interesting to come down for a week and they're like, sure, I want to make us to play or make pasta and make feel.
We can do that.
And usually you go for the cuisine of where you are. But no, it works out. And for a lot of us to those of us who continue to work.
Our goal is to give back more than we take rains. I do a lot of still a lot of my philanthropy is a big part of my distance there.

(09:35):
What does that philanthropy look like as part of your existence?
So I offer free kitchen skills classes for local teams of Mexican teams. I have translators who come in and translate.
The goal is to get them out of the kitchen or out of the the dish room and the kitchen.
Okay.
And restaurants are a huge sustainable career for a lot of people in Mexico.

(10:01):
I'm working with some local preschools raising funds and the big fan of early childhood education and food and stability.
There's a lot of uncertainty in the food chain there and a lot of people are struggling.
So I work with an organization called feed Samagal and it's an organization that provides food to all the schools, the assist of living care.

(10:33):
Some of these for the elder to not an elder to have you.
And then I work with sister cities which you meant in two. That's why I'm here at Palm Springs. They have actually Palm Springs and sister cities and San Miguel are sister cities based on architecture and the culinary arts and hospitality.
So I'm new, a new advisor for the intercultural exchange we'll have with with the chef from college of the desert here.

(11:00):
And we have the traits will in which is the technical university in San Miguel, a large culinary program.
So wonderful. We do exchanges where young people are exposing into other cultures and really just improving resumes.
It's when I think about that had you not had what happened to you two or three years ago.

(11:23):
This connection between the two cities in this way probably wouldn't exist. It's just wild, but universe sometimes drops in the laps of people for goodness for others that you couldn't make it work if you want to do.
And it's been my path for two years, nearly three is very haphazard.
A lot of people moved to Mexico intentionally with the land and they retire and then they go but a cup of little some searching expeditions to kind of map it out and figure it out. I just ended up growing in.

(11:54):
And that's part of the part of my journey is people ask me how did you go from that point to that point.
And Mexico was it's a challenge living abroad. It is abroad. It none the US and the fact that it is still a third world country. It is it's really challenged.
So it's so much of what I have done there was just created from absolutely nothing.

(12:18):
And I just applied, you know, the wisdom of my life, the wisdom of my career, the skills and techniques that I carry with me can be applied.
I knew when I left California, leaving everything behind, I would never start. I can always cook. It's what I always create.
And I have now thousands of thousands of friends around the world knew I know and and and lemon more than I ever have.

(12:44):
One thing I always found inspiring and is actually helpful to me after we initially met is your will call it radical openness and vulnerability and social media.
What got that started and what was the motivation behind that when we are hidden away for as long as we are.
I was in a track of a great controlled conventional life and I had had done everything right.

(13:11):
But I was also a very I had a persona in my work, but I privately was a very small person.
And I had really been pushed down a lot, hiding my masculinity, hiding my sexuality, hiding my true authentic self was a constant effort.
And so when coming out for me as as gay was the least of my my opportunity, I'd be I blossomed into this completely different person.

(13:42):
What you who you met 80 months and right. I'm not the same person. I watched it. I re watched that episode the other day.
And I was like, who is this person? And this I felt like a small kid there explaining my story. And I am not the same person.
I and we talked about it. I'm not the same person I was yesterday. Right here. I changed everything every day, every hour.

(14:04):
It based on who I meet, who you know the interactions I have, the social media that I the reaction to my social media, which is primarily positive, but I get some negative stuff coming to.
So we're constantly changing. And that's part of the the wonder of becoming authentic as we are.
And the vulnerability was a big part of it. And that's the thing I think I'm most admired for. And it wasn't.

(14:33):
It just evolved that way. I really became uninhibited in my sexuality and my life that becoming vulnerable was the least of the things that I was giving away.
But it did show, you know, I posted this morning my new colorful life. And it was about being here and not having experiences before.

(14:56):
But it there's just nothing in my way. There's nothing that I won't say or do. I have no secrets. And there's nothing. And that for a lot of people, you know, we, we tend to be private and we want to eat, but close or whatever.
And that's part of who I am now is I'm and there's nothing stopping me. Did you have to overcome something to get to that point, an obstacle of sort.

(15:24):
I think that, well, yeah, for 60 years, it's really hard to reverse all of this stuff. And I think what happened for me was it became, I became a writer.
And I am on threads now. So visit threads. I have a nearly 17,000 followers. I've got some really for a full year, almost two, four years.

(15:51):
I post two to three times a day about my life. And 500 characters are less. And it's usually 500 characters on the button.
Of just how I feeling today and part of that my my goal with threads was to just say whatever was on my mind. And again, nothing held back. I have a lot of private thoughts, which became very public.
And I would just put it on paper. And I would, you know, for everyone to see. And again, no, no, no, no, part.

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For someone that's been here listening and in that period of uncertainty, trying to become their authentic cell for understand what their path is, what advice would you have for them to consider.
We all have our own timeframe for our life. And we all have a certain comfort and the, I talk to people. I feel like some kind of like I'm a position or some somebody who is offering advice.

(16:52):
I'm not clinically trained to any of this. So I always premise that for most people, you know, work with your therapist, work with your psychiatrist.
If you're really struggling, if you're, I've issued it with self harm and you're like struggling with depression, anxiety, all that stuff.
That will only be repaired by taking that step forward and becoming true to yourself.

(17:18):
I think that my greatest advice for everybody is take it slowly. No, don't charge off. I was unique. I mean, the timeline has been portrayed. I came out to myself in January. I was out in May.
I stayed in the area for three months in a September of the same year I left. And so I had, there was a bit of a, a, a time that, a timeframe that I was transitioning.

(17:46):
But I got on a fight to London on September 5th of that year to go work. And then beyond three weeks of tours, I was done and I was on my own.
And I just kind of finished a work. And then I just kind of jumped out of the plane without a parachute or any structure or any support.

(18:08):
And that's a big deal. That's not easy for me or for anybody. We all have different circumstances leading us from our previous life to where you want to be.
And I do think that you have to do it on your own time.
But my best advice is find L.A. to talk to have people that talk to don't live, don't live it by yourself.

(18:32):
And I told you recently that I have dozens of men around the world who have DM me on, on sidebar from threads or other social media presence. They even, even this particular medium.
I'm the only one they know who's that knows their gay. And they're in control of cultures, environments and in the Middle East or in China.

(18:56):
And they don't have a way out. They're really going to be.
But not gay publicly for their life.
And so, just speaking to somebody. And also, I have a lot of men who say, I need a way out. And how did you do it? And can I just talk to you about your advice on how I could proceed forward?

(19:17):
There are millions of us. Yeah, we're still struggling a lot. And it's, it's especially our generation to where we grew up in a culture to where it was so supra.
So when men come out from my experience, there's always that first thing is, okay, they get settled in something, but it's always a relationship.
What do they do dating? And what is the structure of a relationship? What should it be like? I know what it came from. In many cases, it was, you know, maybe married to a woman. They have a family, not always, but a lot that talked to me or that way.

(19:50):
And so they sometimes desire, but they're not sure how did you start through all what you really desire and life having been in a relationship with, you know, kids and extended family and all those things to where you are today.
You know, 30 years in a committed relationship. We were married 10 years before our kids came on. So we were 10 years together alone and then together without the family. And then the family came and it was another 20 years together.

(20:23):
Recommitting to my straight life all the way through.
I didn't really have a plan to exit. I was kind of found out and then overnight I had to make choices.
So, you know, we spoken recently also about the fact that I had to, in order to make my new life happen, I needed to separate, to separate.

(20:55):
I needed to give away everything and I needed to start fresh. And I couldn't stay in the community and have an apartment around the corner. You're very common in Brown.
And we speak to a lot of Matt and we were in this situation and then they, you know, they visit their kids or whatever. And a lot of people have child support issues, I also support issues.
I've done it that. So I have that freedom to separate.

(21:16):
That was the only way that I could see forward in allowing myself to. I had to be able to be on my own. And even today, I am a committed single gay man.
And I have had a lot of propositions to be partnered or, you know, choose a new family, you know, chosen families different.

(21:37):
Hearing is is a completely different. Right. And I am not prepared to be in another committed relationship where I'm under somebody's thumb or indicated by anybody else.
For me personally, I'm happy alone, happy to be single. I have tons of friends. I meet new people every day. There's no expectation of my time.

(21:59):
I do have work. So I have to show up for my committed, very occasions and classes and things. But beyond that, I wake up here in Palm Springs. I wake up. I woke up for a full week every day just like the world with my oyster.
And a gorgeous oyster. This is. And, you know, that's part of it. I just put my life together every single day. Right. I have some scheduled things. But primarily my life in Mexico, I wake up most days.

(22:26):
And I have this new exuberance for life that I have not had my whole life, which is who I'm going to meet today. Who am I going to have lunch with? Right. How am I going to plan my day?
And it's very fluid. And I love it that way. It gives me a chance to. I cannot wait for the day to start. And there are times in the last two years where I didn't want to live. Right.

(22:48):
And I'm in a place where I can't wait for the day to begin. And I'm sad when it's over me and that I'm just playing for the next stop.
Personally, I just choose to be joyful each day. I wake up because I can control what I think and what I physically do with my body.
So for your fitness and thinking are the things that keep me going to stay off those bad days you talked about.

(23:10):
Well, also from a very, I don't know, a very, it's a trick. When I knew I believe that we're given this vessel. Right. We have feet. We have hands. We, and if we're all, if they're all working, you know, bless us.
And we have the ability to chart every day.
And my mind tells us what we want to do. And then we function and then we carry forward. And I do look at it that way. I look at the blessings we have to me healthy and able to move to liberalize as we feel it.

(23:41):
It's, it's, I know a lot of people with chronic issues in life where I'm very fortunate to have my mobility and my, and my health that I can pull apart my day.
I'm 63 and not getting any younger, but I'm trying to know when's getting younger. So fighting it every day. So I really do take care of myself. I do work with trainers. I eat better. I've lost 40 pounds since I left.

(24:07):
Oh, so I feel that was what I have in my life. And that's when coming out of 60. I thought I had no future. I was too old, you know, all the way, you know, whatever.
And as you know, we become very popular people. Yeah, yeah, it's good.
As a life coach, I'm committed to help you discover the passions in your life and help you map a course to achieve the things you really want.

(24:37):
Together, we will unwind those persistent self-doubt that are holding you back. You'll begin to see your passions more clearly and set achievable goals.
Throughout your journey, I'll be there to challenge and encourage you in moving forward to discover your authentic self.
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(25:04):
You're listening to Outlate with David.
So tell me about your business that you rebless them and now have that working out of Send Me Go.
I have discovered in speaking with other gay men who are positive and stuff that they don't have options for moving forward there, either connected some way to a financial situation with their families.

(25:30):
And it's a finest. Pineses are a big issue for us. I had a potable work. I knew I could teach anywhere.
And I'm not only teaching within my space in Send Me Go, but there are also other people who do food related things that are bringing men for demonstration and classes.
And so I'm getting a reputation for that. I knew that I would never start. I knew that I would always be able to feed myself or feed others.

(25:59):
My travel company is 12 destination news internationally. I pick and choose which tours I offer every year.
That's also I could work virtually from anywhere. So I have my laptop and I'm good to go.
And I have New Orleans and Wahaka, New destination in Mexico offering next March.

(26:22):
We have Portugal through marrying in April and then we'll be back to France and Italy and in the fall. And then of course Dia de Muertos, which is the day of the death is a very popular destination for Samagal and most part of Mexico.
So I'll do the eagmas as well.
So again, potable, easy to transfer. I don't work in for 28 years. I don't work any cubicle. I still have to go to a site.

(26:50):
And that's it's important for a lot of people. Yes. That's their comfort zone in the security of that work.
Is you can't move. You can't chain. You can't just pop up at the house. So I'm very fortunate in that.
That's good. It's one return. Let's play a little have something fun here. Some speed round questions. Can I get any show?
Absolutely.

(27:11):
All right. If a handsome man wanted to impress you, what dish should he cook? And what dish would be an instant deal breaker?
No. He's new.
That's good. Somebody else cooking for me.
Most of his chefs don't, we're not invited anywhere. Nobody will cook for us because they're too insecure about.

(27:38):
I was nervous going to breakfast with you yesterday. The judge of the weather. I was so careful with it.
Well, it's really good, but it's kind of good to put. It was great. It was great. It's not your job to defend wherever you take me.
So for me as a chef, I will cook. I will eat anything that's prepared for me because if I don't have to make it, I'm grateful that somebody makes the effort for me.

(27:59):
The dish. I love French cooking and I love Italian. It's like if you could come up with something. I'm big into fresh and local and all that kind of stuff.
And lighter, lighter fair. And if you can pull that together, you wrap me around your finger because that's pretty much what is the deal breaker?

(28:22):
I don't know. TV dinners.
All right. That's going to or anything that's frozen that you pop in the microwave.
All right.
What spice best describes? We'll say your sexual life right now. Cinnamon, sweet.
Chili, which is spicy or cumin, which is complex.
Definitely complex. So cumin. Oh, yeah. Okay. And if you don't want to explain it, I will. But otherwise we just saying that that's fine.

(28:50):
I've definitely complex because every day it's the blend of people in those who are in the stands makes it very.
Okay. But it has a little spice.
You'll spice to it too. So maybe a little bit of everything. You're a chef. So you and when's it done, right?
If you're a cocktail, what would you be and what kind of man would order you?

(29:14):
So I do have three top cocktails. My number one is an agroni, which is as Anthony Bourdain said, it's three.
Three liquors and the course that are horrible separately, but he put them together and it's this matching the lens. So it's gin and capari and sweet permute.
And they have this day again, complex. It's it's all those flavors. Just magically work together.

(29:42):
I know we have the old fashioned in the man and so those are the top three. You're going to impress me.
And the gronies aren't available. Mexico does a really good in the groney. Sam Miguel does an amazing groney. So it's Italian in its origins, but that's my it's it's bitter.
But it has there's some complexity to it. We also like it because the gin is is high alcohol. The other two are not.

(30:07):
So as Anthony Bourdain said, you know, one is not enough. Three is too many and two is just right. So here I can have two cocktails and not feel any effects, which I don't care for.
So it's and it's just pleasant. It's like drinking coffee in the morning. You have the everywhere in the coffered of it.
The cocktail in the afternoon is what you go for. You'll order me an agrony. Okay. All right. And you're in like Flint.

(30:30):
If you could whisk anyone past your present into your kitchen or one night, who would it be and what would you make together?
Julia Child. She is my my the icon for the ages for me. I do a tour to to Southern France and we actually visit her home.

(30:51):
And we live on the same property where she all created. Oh my yes. And we live in Simpka back as her collaborator on Messer and Yard French cooking.
So we stay in her home and we visit Julia's place. So Julia, I met her twice. I have a couple books that were signed by her. Oh, you know, too Charlie Julia.
Yeah, I need you just can't you make that up. And there's something about the fact that she started late in life cooking. She started. She was 40.

(31:19):
She went to the car in blue when she was 40 and she started the cooking program at WGBH Boston when she was 50 and she lived to be 90.
And I went to culinary school 34 and I started my travel company at 50. So it's never too late. And I just, you know, I'm passionate about cooking.
Her mantra was always there's you can never learn more about there's always something to know and learn. We would cook her both playing a gnome together. That's their signature dish across the board.

(31:51):
And it's just it's it's got classic technique that is is when you learn it. It's a dish that I've made thousands of times hundreds maybe that and I use her recipe.
And there's techniques that are classic to the cuisine that are imported in this and to sip and I I've been in her in her cottage and in her living room in the same space you would have sat and to imagine being there with James Beard and all these other people who do supported her in her life and the work.

(32:31):
Just unbelievable and then she's really is somebody I think about every day and I write about it and be a special moment for sure. Yeah.
So what's filling your heart these days?
Mostly relationships with men and these are not these are social relationships. These are people who I'm meeting become friends chosen family.

(32:55):
I did not have male friends growing up and I met a man recently in in some ago he's a retired rabbi Argentinian by by a nationality but worked in New York and he reached out to me and said you look he sounded like an interesting guy like to meet you.
He's straight he's married and we we compared notes he said I'm 65 years 63 and we agreed that we have on one hand the number of men that we can count on in our whole life and that's just the nature of male red out and ships.

(33:31):
I did not have male friends growing up I was bullied as a kid so I pushed the boys away I was more standoffish to straight men growing up you know dads other people that I met because of attraction and didn't want that to happen and a lot of us have a lot of female friends because we trust them me we're less threatened or less secure we're more secure with women.

(33:57):
I opened up to gay men and now I have it's filled a deep hole in my heart and in my soul and there was a really dark place where I didn't have those connections and I could talk to you for five hours and never tire I I get so much pleasure meeting men talk to the men sharing with men and it's not just sexual it can be this that connection that we've learned that

(34:26):
that men have different way of relating to each other there's a masculinity and there's a nurturing and even a feminine side of who we are and discovering that with people together and learning about the power of male male connection has transformed my life and it's made that's why my connection my vulnerability has become so pronounced in my life is it's through the the relations with the havewardness.

(34:55):
Absolutely.
Where can listeners and viewers connect with you or learn more about you.
So you could follow me on threads Facebook Instagram I am also have three websites I have an education site a travel site and a blog.
The best epicurion exchange calm is my is my education site and there are links to the other sites right now particular page from my home page.

(35:25):
If you want to know about my whole life and my coming out it's going to be found on threads I've been writing for about a year like almost two years straight.
My writing saved my life because I always wanted I knew there was more to say and I wasn't finished and it always was that little bit of will that I had left to stay around and that became a really strong purpose as well as an ally for other men newer coming out.

(35:56):
So and subtract as well I have a subtract by form as well so they are all used in different ways Facebook is very generic G rated right in the middle from their to threads to blue sky to to to a subset.
And yeah so my website is the best place to start because you're going to find all the contact information there and I do encourage anyone this thing that if you are struggling if you have questions if you just want an ally anybody I have hundreds of men I told you about who I'm the only one who knows that they're gay and that's that's a privilege and honor for me to be that for them.

(36:34):
So if you had any questions he would reach out for me.
Don't put all that in the show notes as well.
Last question is I notice sitting here the word purpose on your left forearm.
Yeah, what was the genesis of?
I have five tattoos and I didn't have any before I came up.

(36:56):
So this is my coming out tattoo with the near and run out of well okay 23.
This was my second I saw a lot of people with little script on their arms and I admired that and it was just trying to figure out it took me about a month to come up the word that most describe my life and more importantly doing forward.

(37:19):
My work has always had purpose and it wasn't just to cook it wasn't to make a living but it was to bring people forward in their lives to improve their life better eating more gatherings more family more for social.
And cooking is a a drejory for some and for others it's an amazing life or for me task you know and we do need to eat every day.

(37:43):
But I think if you can look at something it's not it for some it's not even hobby. It's really becomes a part of your life and teaching became my purpose.
Teaching was you know in which is my signature on all my emails is Pablo Caso is said the the goal of life is to find a purpose and the gift of life is to give it away.

(38:07):
And so that's what I do is I teach other people to take the skills forward in their lives and I call them by knife classes is knife skills but I call it life skills it's learning that properly cook is is a gift and it if you teach it others it's sucking you past forward.
So that's what purposes for me and it does purpose if you look it up it's the reason we get up every day it's thing that draws us to life is the thing that makes her life the living and that's what.

(38:38):
Well Charlie you should really thank you for this update today and saying them again enjoyed it a lot I'm sure others will too and as we know these stories are powerful they help people that are afraid don't understand and gives them comfort to know that they're not alone that there's others they can relate to.
And in your case they can even reach out to both of us if they if they wanted to discuss it in private and confidentiality and explore their thought.

(39:01):
As part of this we realize too is that we get feedback to say okay now that I'm out now what so we're going to have some episodes in the future of really now that I'm out now what so if you have ideas or questions that you want to know more about just send them my way and we'll look for a guest or something that can come and talk about that and and kind of chewing those ideas of
what can talk about you know dating sexuality purpose in life you know those things career changes how do I pivot all the stuff that make them up as an opportunity as a challenge as an opportunity as you go forward in your life.

(39:33):
But thank you again very much enjoyed this time all the best you and all that you're doing in the sister city sounds exciting and it sounds like I'll be able to see more in person so.
We'll have to talk to you maybe we'll do part three sometimes though all right last one I'll make from both of us to all of these wonderful listeners we are on the other side of trauma right here on the other side of the drama and who's coming out and I I mentioned it online today.

(40:01):
Hold out because we're always on the other side of something there's always a better day and for both of us my narrative has changed it's not about my coming out but now it's what do I do on the other side and there is hope for all of us so if there's a heat moving and there's hope and be be you're up that choose to be joyful and know that there's hope.

(40:22):
If you like this like and share to somebody else that may help them and that's all for this time on out late with David.
To find all episodes and resources for coming out later in life visit out late with David dot com that's out late with David dot com your go to source for inspiration support and real stories.

(40:49):
To hear more episodes visit out late with David dot com and to learn more about personal life coaching services go to David cotton coaching dot com.

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Charlie Vollmar - From Outed to Reborn: Chef Charlie’s New Chapter

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Charlie Vollmar - From Outed to Reborn: Chef Charlie’s New Chapter