Michael Carr – Break Free from Invisible Resistance to Success - Perfect Life Awakening

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Perfect Life Awakening Show, hosted by Royce Morales.
Royce has been a transformational facilitator, teaching groundbreaking spiritually based
courses for more than four decades. She is the author
of three books about her teachings. Join Royce as she
takes you on a journey into how to live your
best life and find your true purpose through discovering the

(00:31):
origins of subconscious, disempowering notions and releasing them. She talks
with experts and inspiring people just like you who learned
to trust their intuitive inner wisdom, which led to life
changing shifts. Today, her guests live in empowered existence and
are helping change the world to a higher consciousness place

(00:52):
based on truth and love. You deserve to awaken to
align with and embody your true self and live a
life life filled with love. Transform yourself from triggered to
empowered and create your perfect life. Here is your host,
Royce Morales.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Hello, Welcome, Oh I lost my guest.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
Where is he?

Speaker 2 (01:17):
There? He is? Oh technology, I just have so welcome.
That's okay, welcome, And I just want to I just
want to talk a little bit about my guests before
I even go further today and my little dog is
on my lap. I don't have to consider there she is.

(01:38):
She's going to help me today. That's Gigi. So do
you find that no matter how much you struggle, no
matter how much knowledge you have or how much effort
you put into trying to succeed, you just can't seem
to break free. I know that I have experienced that
so many times in my life. There's these invisible barriers

(02:00):
to success that are kind of in charge of us,
like pulling the strings in our life. So for over
thirty seven years, Michael Carr, who calls himself the Mind Alchemist,
has been helping people get unstuck from that pesky inner resistance.
He's a transformational coach who helps high achieving professionals and

(02:23):
entrepreneurs reprogram unconscious beliefs behind procrastination, perfectionism, burnout, and fear
of visibility. It's important so they can fully step into
their true life purpose. He's the creator of the Visitability
Alignment Method, a neuroscience backed process that helps people identify

(02:47):
and reprogram the unconscious limiting beliefs so they can finally
step into their lives and the leadership they are meant for.
So that's a brief introduction of Michael. Welcome Michael. I'm
so glad you're here. I'm so glad we're doing this together.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Thank you, Royce. I'm so happy to be here with
you today.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
So tell us how did you get started? What is
your story? I know that I read somewhere that you
were really afraid to be seen. You didn't even want
photographs of yourself. Tell us your story.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Well, I would say my story started out. I grew
up in North Carolina and a rural area, and I
decided at some point I wanted to make something of
my life. So I went to New York. I became
a fashion designer. I worked in fashion design for twenty years,
and then I moved into interior design, and I was
managing a lot of people. And this whole kind of

(03:46):
idea of image was very important to me, of who
I was and who I wanted to be, and what
other people thought about me. It was a very strong
presence in my life. So I wanted to become everything
that I could become. I left North Carolina to go
be all these things and went into the world and
had success. But I was always limited by my success

(04:07):
in some kind of way. I would self sabotage. I
would do something, And there became a period between nineteen
ninety nine and twenty eighteen where I refused to be
in pictures. And when I say refused, it's like I couldn't.
I would break into sweats, I would get almost a
mini panic attack. And I struggled this for a long time.
And if you think about that time, from nineteen ninety

(04:28):
nine to twenty eighteen, that's when our cell phones turned
into cameras. Yeah, social media became a thing. It was
like everything in life now required being in pictures. But
I couldn't take a selfie. And I did everything I
could to try to remedy that. I lost weight, I
got two hair transplants, I worked out anything I could do,

(04:51):
but it wouldn't help. And people hear that story and
they're like, oh, yeah, you're the guy didn't want to
be in a picture, Like I didn't like my hair
that day very much wanted to be in pictures. It
held me back a lot. I couldn't promote myself and
everything I did didn't work. Everything I tried to get

(05:11):
to look better, to smile in front of the cameras,
it just never worked. And in my business where image
and you know, art and everything was so important to
be photographed and to be in It held me back
in so many ways and so many opportunities that I
had that people wanted to finance me for my own line.

(05:31):
I was like, no, I'm not ready. All these things
that I've limited myself. And I did a lot of therapy,
and I worked and worked, and one time I got
some coaching on a general thing, which wasn't about that thing.
It was more a general thing and it was more
of a conversation, and the guy asked me a couple
of questions, and all of a sudden, I don't even

(05:54):
know what he asked me. But I was in the
middle of my grandmother's living room at five years old,
and my mother had a base me, oh wow. And
I remember my grandparents and everybody around. And then later
on I was being sent of relics homes that were
looking for me and said everything was fine, that my

(06:15):
mother was in an accident, everything was going to be fine,
but she was in a body cast. I couldn't go
to the hospital. All I knew was she was gone,
and everybody was saying it was fine. And you know,
I had lots of cousins where I would go stay,
and I wasn't part of that family. I would kind
of hide. Everything was different. I didn't feel belonged. And

(06:36):
then it was like a flash went through me, like
I saw one of those decks at when you go
to Las Vegas, those they can do the cards, and
it was I watched all of my life go by
in front of me, and I saw all of the
areas that I created being alone. I never had a relationships.
My parents died in my early twenties. My father's family

(06:59):
soon me. My mother's family was feuding with me. I
had a younger sister lived in North Carolina, but I
had no other family, and I moved to New York
and lived all my life by myself. I didn't have
anybody to call and turn to, and so I grew
up without family. But I did have a younger sister
that I kind of took care of, you know, and
then she ultimately got married. But I didn't have that presence,

(07:22):
and I didn't have that feeling of belonging, and I
had this identity in my head that I was alone.
So it wasn't just showing up in pictures that it
was not showing up to weddings, to special occasions, to
events anywhere, because I couldn't be visible. And then I
understood that limiting belief, that that was what held me back.

(07:48):
And the next day I took a picture and didn't
even think about it. I didn't even realize it until
a day later. Oh my god, I took a picture
yesterday and there was actually got posted.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
That just that limited belief. Once I realized that it
was so ridiculous to think that I was alone, because
my mother loved me very much, and I grew my
whole life thinking I would never think that I was abandoned.
She took very good care of me. You know, she
loved me very much. So as an adult, I could
never think that I was abandoned. But as a five

(08:22):
year old, when we're laying down these core memories and
you're just building that, we interpret things in our world
like we want to do as kids. That's the whole
purpose of you know, being in that state between one
and seven is to learn the environment around us, to
learn how to interact with the world, and so that's

(08:42):
what we're doing, and sometimes we misinterpret things like that
family who took care of me I always said there,
I can't trust them because they would have conversations like
can you look after Michael? I can't look after him
and I can't do him tomorrow. I heard it as
nobody wants me. And I spent my whole life who

(09:04):
I've reconnected with most of my family in the past
five years, my whole life, making them enemies of mine
because of something that I went through when I was five.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
Yeah, And when that happened, I was like, I've got
to change what I'm doing. I have got to help
more people because in my business, I knew a lot
of people, very talented people who somehow it seemed like
around the age of twenty eight, they were not living
in the longer. They had become done with their lives

(09:40):
and exited. And you could see that massive amount of
this talent. And one was a make up artist and
he worked for the top models, and he had Naomi
Campbell's phone number in his Kevin Kwan is who it was.
But these amazing people who people looked up to, with

(10:03):
so much talent, who just had these these things, these
beliefs within them that just kept them from experiencing the
life that they really had because they were trapped in
this fear cycle. And I see so many people that
way to varying degrees, you know. But we're trapped in

(10:23):
our own prisons because we're not really looking at the bars.
We're looking through the bars, and the bars a kind
of our safety. And that's the whole point of it.
The reason that we're resisting all this stuff is because
your body is trying to keep you safe. Yeah, unconscious
mind as one goal, and that's to keep you alive. Yep.

(10:47):
Does that any way that we can? And most the
way that does that is like don't do anything, Yeah, procrastinate,
scroll and TikTok, you know. And today we live in
a world that is just we live in an algorithm.
So it's so much more critical to think about what's
going on in our brain because the algorithm is really

(11:10):
focused on engagement and what do people engage with? Mostly negativity, animosity.
So that's the algorithm that's feeding us in the world today.
So the only way out of that is inside my
inner world.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yep, yep.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
What outer world am I allowing to pollute my inner world?
And what I mean in our world is kind of
we know who we are, We know who we are
We've forgotten that, yes, And so what we're doing is
we are peeling away the layers of who we are,

(11:51):
not who we thought we had to be to please
other people. Who I thought it had to be invisible
to get through the world world because nobody saw me.
When you peel that away, then you get to have
the light that you are. I have no problem. I'm
on camera all the time now, you know, like I
actually like it, you know, And but I'm not concerned

(12:14):
about that. Of course I comb my hair and I
brush my teeth, but I'm not concerned concerned about how
I appear, you know. It's just I get to sit
here and express myself. And I can do that today
and five years ago. I may be show up at
a talk, but I would just be thinking about what
am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? Don't

(12:35):
look this way, don't look that. Sometimes I get bug eyed,
you know, don't do that. It's me, It's me. Why
am I going to deny me all of those things?
So we all have that, all have access to that,
and my goal is to show access to that, and

(12:58):
also so that it doesn't take twenty years figure it out.
You know, I didn't have a family. I took ask
back in the seventies, it turned into yeah, like that's
a whole another thing because the world was different, right, Yeah. Yeah,
people thought we were in a cult. Maybe we were,
I don't know, you know, but everything was new, you know,

(13:21):
and these words like making a difference. Like first time
that word was ever uttered was in those rooms. You know.
That's the beginning. And so I've always been involved in
this trying to figure out why am I thinking the
way that I'm thinking? Why can I have a relationship?
I want one so bad, I worked so hard, did

(13:42):
all the things, But it's not in the things, in
the doing that is not you, it's who you are. Yeah.
So we try to get in a relationship and we
try to be somebody that we're not. Who we are.
Can be pleasing to somebody else that's not related, that's

(14:06):
not a relationship.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
Yeah, And I think it all comes down to connection.
Everything comes down to connection that we create with other
people and most importantly, the connection that we create with ourselves. Yes.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
Absolutely, Yeah. So let's go back a minute. You had
this realization you're five years old, had this memory show up.
How how did that turn into what you do now.
I mean, how well I can't get the question out.

(14:42):
There's something something that triggered in you that said I've
got to do this, this is powerful. What happened? How
did that create your program.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
When that happened? Because I've always been interested in this stuff.
I did the YouTube channel where I had, you know,
like videos. They weren't me talking, but there were videos
about enlightenment topics like manifestation and the mirror principle and
all of that. So I've always played on the edge,
but I never felt like I could be a guide

(15:12):
for someone or someone who could lead them. I mean
I went throughout my career. I managed interior designers, I
managed fashion designers. I managed creative people in corporate worlds.
So I was that go between and I creative people
are hard to manage, but I was able to listen
and interact with them, not just so that they would

(15:35):
do the work that they needed to do, but so
that they could see the value in their work in
doing it a certain way. And now those people are
like directors of design houses, they're CEOs. One was the
president of a company. So those things, when you can

(15:55):
get people to see the value that they are. That's
the most amazing thing that you could ever do. So
when that moment happened and I saw those cards, and
when I say that deck, it was a literal deck.
I saw it in my mind. I knew, this is it.
This is it what I've been looking for all along.

(16:16):
And all I have to do is to find a
process and a method that's easy to understand and that
can get you there quickly and fast. And that I
knew what it was, then it became let's find out
how we can go faster. That you're not in therapy
for twenty years, you know, I wasn't therapy for a

(16:36):
long time. I knew a lot about my problem, But
the truth is I didn't even know what my problem was.
I thought my problem was I couldn't take a picture.
That was the solution to my problem. That was the problem.
That the solution, my unconscious mind came up with to
prove that I was alone, that I was not worthy

(17:00):
to come home to. Yeah, that's the problem. So when
I talk about the trigger, you know, people talk about
the trigger is is the oh, well she said that
thing and that thing triggered me. That's not your trigger.
That's just what she said, you keep trying to get

(17:21):
the work. I don't want to be upset by those
type of words. That doesn't work. The triggers in your body.
The trigger is the body, the feeling that goes ooop,
you know, when you feel that thing in your body,
that energy. You know, everything is energy, and we feel
that thing, it's like react. Well, that's a that that
trigger is like a warning signal. There could be a
tiger over there, there could be this over there, there

(17:42):
could be that, you know, quick and they're happening before
our brain even registers it. Most of these triggers we ignore. Yeah,
we don't feel and so that trigger happens, and then
our brain is just a question answer machine. So when
there's a question, it's going to find an answer. It's
not going to find a correct answer. It's not going

(18:04):
to find a logical answer. It's just going to find
a answer that it can live with. And so it
finds whatever it is. And we may say it's because
of this, but go deeper, go underneath that, you know.
And so that led me to root cause coaching.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
So tell us a little bit about your process. How
do you actually lead people into discovering what's really going
on and reconnecting with their true self.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
So it becomes a lot of listening and a lot
of the observation. And one thing I learned about not
having a family, I wasn't a part of the interactions
of a family. I wasn't in a unit like that.
I was always on the outside looking inside. A lot

(18:54):
of people adopted me and I became part of their
larger families very easily, and what I got to observe
is all of the interactions about who they were and
how they related to each other, and how families within
a family, people got identified as a certain kind of

(19:16):
person in the family and they always lived with that,
even though they I had come in later and I'd
never seen that kind of behavior from them, But they
people would say, well, he's the bad one. Well he's
the one that's doing everything right. You're just not seeing
him today because you're seeing through the old things. So

(19:39):
as we get to those places, that's what's available for us,
and so it's like clearing that out. And as an
interior designer and as a designer, one of my best
traits was being able to spot patterns. Patterns are trends.
You know, you're always following trends, you know, and you're

(20:00):
predicting trends. When I was making in the fashion industry
and we were putting trends out there, we were working
three or four years ahead because the curve of the
manufacturing back then was so long, and then with computers
and everything, it got faster. But I became very good
at seeing patterns, and so now when I look at
people and I say, well, he acts this way or

(20:22):
he acts that way. No, he's running a pattern. This
is the pattern that he's running. And it's really easy
to see these patterns when you're looking for the patterns
and you take the judgment out of it, the oh,
well they're this and they're that, and you just notice
those patterns. You can see, oh, now I know the pattern,

(20:43):
and I see what they're saying, and what are they
saying to me that they don't realize they're saying the
little stuff that's just the off handed and that's the
stuff that you can go because that's going to lead
you down to a root cause a problem that for me,
one of them was being abandoned by my mother. The decision,
actually I should say I decided I was abandoned by

(21:05):
my mother, I really was. But that was the decision
that I made, and I kept fueling that decision throughout
my life. So I know how much a life can
be influenced by a decision you made when you were
five years old. Yes, and yeah, it took me twenty
years to kind of what took me more than that

(21:27):
to figure out what it was, but twenty years of
not being in pictures to be able to go find
that answer, to know what finding that answer means to somebody,
it's like giving you your life. Like I attempted suicide
in my thirties, and that was, you know, I obviously

(21:48):
didn't happen. And I remember when I came to and
I saw the lady. She's like, everything's going to be fine.
I'm like, no, it's not, like this is wrong, right.
And I think about that now and it's scary because
now I know what I had available to me. Now

(22:10):
I know what life has available it has to offer me.
I couldn't see that in the place where I was.
And I think so often so many people are trapped
in their minds by these negative beliefs that they have
about themselves. They can't see any farther into hope. And

(22:35):
sometimes it's not a conversation that's I don't think you
can ever talk anybody out of something. You can just
listen to them and listen to them and listen to
them and don't have to say anything back, because that's
serving us. We're trying to actually feel better in the

(22:55):
presence of someone who's feeling terrible. So I don't want
to feel as bad. Let me lighten it up. Just
go there with people. And if you go there and
you can ask those questions and find those underlying things
that you like, my mother abandoned me. No, she never did.
That's a lie. But a five year old kid believed that,

(23:16):
and then a thirty five year old man believe that
too because he never questioned it or never went there.
And there's so many things in everybody's life. I think
everybody has trauma because we create our trauma. You know,
a little thing happens, a little mohill, and we turn
a mountain into it. Every time we remember a past experience,

(23:38):
we're not remembering the original experience. We're remembering the last
time we brought up that memory. So every time we
remember something, we keep adding on to it. So in
thirty years, who knows what really happened. Was I really
in my grandmother's room? I was because I talked to her.
But there's a lot of details that could be wrong.

(24:00):
Could be me saying that my relatives are my enemies,
that they didn't trust me, that they didn't like me,
And we have so much of that right now going
on in the world. We've got to come inside and
we've got to say, like, how is my thinking creating
my world? And how can I change my thinking to

(24:21):
have the things that I want? So noticing those patterns
would be the first part of it. And then how
do we make the process quick well somatically, because you know,
there's all this conversation about mindset and all this and
mindset and we go in and we do root cause coaching,
which was great when that started, having to get to

(24:42):
the root cause. And there's all these layers and so
it's not just mindset, because the mindset will lasts for
two or three weeks and then it becomes willpower, and
then it becomes burnout, and then it becomes proof that
you couldn't do that in the first place. Yeah, why
because all these emotions and memories that we don't want

(25:03):
to deal with today. We file them here, and we
file them here. We file them in our arthritis, in
our back hip, and we file them. We will deal
with them another day. I don't want to deal with
them today. So we're burying all these in these file cabinets,
these issues and these problems. And remember when I said,
a trigger is just a response in your body that

(25:24):
you feel energy, and the brain is going to answer that.
So the brain's just going to start pulling out those
file drawers of emotions. This is why. And then you're
you're set and living in like, oh my god, I'm
back in that emotion that I had years ago. That
emotion doesn't exist today and only in your mind. But
you're freaking yourself out because you're living in it in

(25:47):
your mind. So how do we get that the results
faster and the clarity faster. We start to use the body.
We don't just use the mind. We put the body
into it. And it's a simple process that includes it
was developed. It's called the cellular alignment techniques. It was
created by Tyler Watson. Over many years he was a

(26:10):
kinesthetic kinesiologist and a massage therapist, and he holistic medicine
doctor and so he's combined a bunch of things that
we all know about in a certain way that actually
has it like hijack our system. So when that trigger happens,
and that if you think of the trigger, that energy

(26:32):
in your body like waves of if you threw stone
into a still pond and the ripple that came from
that that stone is the trigger. Then the ripple is
that energy being sent to the rest of your body
telling your body to react, flight, fight, or freeze, what

(26:52):
to do because there's danger. So that ripple effect is
the energy that's going to your body. We use tap
being to interrupt that ripple, so as it's sending that
energy to your body. As soon as it happens, where
do you feel it in your body? Right here? Let's
keep it right here like tap here to keep it
focused here says it's not going throughout your body. And

(27:14):
then imagine if that rock into the ripple, we threw
a handful of little pebbles on top of those big ripples.
What happens is those little waves dissipate the big waves
so that it interrupts the signal. The signal doesn't know
what it's carrying anymore. It doesn't know what it's meaning
is anymore. It's just kind of hanging out like okay,

(27:35):
something where it's going on. So we've interrupted that thing
from going out throughout your body. And now we use
breath work, so we're you know, breath work is one
of the most power probably the most powerful tools we
have to regulate our emotions in our body. I mean,

(27:55):
it involves everything we think. It's just moving air around.
It's so powerful. So we put we force you have
the trigger. Then we'll force you into a calming breath,
like in through your nose, out through your mouth. Think
about come home at the end of a day and
you finally get to relax and you're like ah, and

(28:19):
you send all that air down into your stomach, whereas
your calming breath goes and you're just calm. So you
add that tapping to that, and we're doing the calming
breath work when we're supposed to be upset. And then
we turn around and we do a fight or flight breath,
which is like a panting breath, which is like like

(28:40):
you're running from something. So we just calmed you down
and we're triggering you and now we're just putting you
fight or flight saying it's okay, And at the end
you smile, which releases dopamines and fixes it all in
and so your body is like rewired. That trigger doesn't
mean the same thing anymore. Now we're loaded with triggers,

(29:01):
you know, Like, but you can remove them all it
just takes time, and the way to do them is
to find them. And you had mentioned at one point
where you're you know, like maybe it was even in
an introduction you said, but when you what do you say,
were people who struggle so hard and get to all
those places? Well, your growth comes from your struggle. So

(29:25):
and we all start hating. Okay, well here I've got
this mountain to climb, and so we started going to
the mountain. Well, you know, there's valleys to get to
that mountain. There's all kinds of things, and it's hard.
But when we learn those valleys and we learn how
to do those things and scale those mountains, we have
that we know how to do that. So now I

(29:46):
know how to do that. But now I want to
do another business. Now I want to grow my business. Now,
I want to get more clients. Now I want to
do something else that we don't know how to do.
So right now, we're at level and one. Again, we're
actually on level four, but we're at a level one
expertise skill level that we've either got to learn or

(30:10):
hire somebody else to do it for us who already
knows how to do it. And that's a trap a
lot of entrepreneurs fall in. They've got to do everything themselves. Yeah,
and that's why a lot don't succeed when they con see, like,
it doesn't take you twenty hours of watching YouTube. Every
time you want to do something in your CRM, you

(30:33):
can just tell your VA do it and in ten
minutes they do it because they know. So you're learning
not only that what you have to do, but you're learning,
you're becoming smarter at how can I level up my
resources that I have to use them to the fullest extent,

(30:54):
which then becomes leading. So you're leading other people, and
each one of us is a leader. So these things
live inside of us, you know, and it's just getting
in touch with those things. I was on a call
this morning with my client who she was last week.

(31:16):
She really went in on me. She got very angry
and she was going at me, and I'm sitting there
and I just kind of had to look up, like,
what is she talking about? And she was talking about
me and she wasn't talking about me. I was I
was just a space for her to do what she
needed to do. Yeah. And so today we had our

(31:41):
next session from last week and she's like, and at
the end of the day's session, I want to talk
to you about business. I'm like, okay, we'll see what's
going to happen. And so she sat there she told
me everything that happened during her week, that of things
that turned out really well that she had stepped out
on a limb to do and scared about and they
turned out better. And she reframed all that and I
said it for thirty minutes. Did you celebrate all those

(32:03):
successes that you had? She's like, what success.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (32:08):
And I like, okay, let me read them back to you.
And I read them and she said, well, I didn't
really see them as successes. And then she blew open.
She's like, you know, last week when I went off
on you, I don't even know why I did that,
and I have to apologize. I'm like, I'm your coach.
It was the best. That is what had to happen,
because without that happening you wouldn't have had the guts

(32:28):
to do what you did all week, to go and
stand up for yourself like you stood up with me.
You got a little experience, you got a little confidence.
So you went out of the world and you tested,
and you tested and things turned out good.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Yeah, but you're not seeing that. It's important that we
start to see that, we start to track that. But
when we're living in this behind those bars and we
don't know what those bars are, we don't even know
what we're inside of. It's my deity that I think

(33:04):
is to help people see their bars. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah, So we need to take a bit of a break.
I'm talking to Michael Carr and we're talking about those
invisible bars causing us to not succeed and to resist
and be afraid and triggered and all that stuff. And
we will be right.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
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(33:46):
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(34:07):
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Speaker 4 (35:23):
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eight apples and bananas. Why can I eat in.

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Applesas support the Feeding America nationwide network of food banks
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Speaker 2 (35:55):
Welcome back. On talking to Michael Carr and he calls
himself the mind alchemist. I love that title, and I
want to go back a little bit to what you
were saying, and I keep bringing up that memory that
you had when you were five years old and felt abandoned.
So do you help people get in touch with that
type of event or experience in terms of releasing and

(36:20):
getting in touch with the decisions and that sort of thing.
So that's part of what you do.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
Absolutely. I think that's one of the core of what
I do. The other stuff helps it go faster, It
just helps you get rid of all of that thing.
But finding out those core beliefs I think is critical. Yes,
and getting to that is And at some point, like
people can come into you for coaching and there it's like, well,

(36:46):
this is my problem. I can't get a raise, and
then ultimately, after talking for half an hour, we end
up with the core root cause which it didn't matter
that it came from money. It could have come from relationships,
it could have come from because it shows up everywhere. Yeah,
and so I don't like to talk about when we

(37:07):
find that root, cause, like my mother, I was abandoned
and now I'm fixed, and I know that well it
that abandonment. Then I understood it was about me being alone,
and being in a picture is not tied to being alone.
So I severed that relationship between the trigger and the reaction,

(37:29):
so the trigger had no effect on me. It was
my sister. We were it was around Christmas, and my
sister says, we were at a spa and she's like,
take a picture, and we took a picture. And the
next day she said, you didn't even argue with me,
And I was like what. So when you severed that trigger,
then that goes away there, but we've still built on

(37:52):
top of that. It's like a Jinger Box game. The
core thing is down here, like you could remove the
core thing and it just makes it, but all this
other stuff is stacked on top of it, so you've
still got other things to work with. Now. I do
think once you find your core, limiting negative belief, you

(38:13):
have so much power and understanding about yourself, just knowing
that you know. And it's all about creating an awareness
within you. The things that we're not aware of, we
can't work on, we can't help, we're just a victim
of it. So it's all about creating this awareness and like,
oh wait, now I have this awareness that my go

(38:34):
to places that i'm alone, my go to place is
that people don't like me. And then I'm like, well, no,
that's just my go to place. That's not how it
really is. Yeah, the truth is I stopped calling people
back because I decided they weren't they didn't think I
was good enough friend of mine. That was my decisions,

(38:58):
and I built more of the on there. So there's
always work to do around that. And you know, the
whole thing about being on the next level, of the
next level, on the next level, like there is no
top level. I mean there is, but nobody's looking forward
to it that I know of. You know, that's I mean,

(39:19):
the end of the game is the end of the game.
So if we're in a game, we either play the
game or the game's gonna play us. So you can
get comfortable with struggle, I mean, you know, the pain
that we create is is the pain that we feel.

(39:39):
You know, we're creating all that pain like, oh, she
left me a year ago, you know, a year ago
she left you? What what? How is that painful? Net today? Right?
Event happened a year ago. You're creating that pain today
ninety five times what it was back then. You're manufacturing

(39:59):
that And so it gives you kind of an awareness.
This is our brains work. Now, there was a great thing.
It was designed that way for instinct, and there were tigers. Well,
today's tigers are like negative comments on social media and criticism,
like all of that negative stuff, like there's a million

(40:20):
at them. We can't get out of the door. And
so we're all operating on this stress level because we're
on high alert and there's no winning that game. And
it's you know, it is all back to coming to
being present, you know, because the present is all we have.

(40:42):
When you can see that all those thoughts and past
memories are just thoughts and memories, they're not real. There
were like a timeline that we passed by. My favorite
quote is by Soren Kirkergard. Life can only be understood backwards,
but must be lived forward. Yeah, you know, you can

(41:05):
look at think of anything in your life, like that
job you didn't get, or that guy who didn't ask
you to marry him, or anything like that, and you
can say, thank God that didn't work out. Exactly yes,
And that's the principle. So you know, the plan that
we even got in our mind is so much inferior
to the big plan when we get out of the way.

(41:27):
So when something happens that I say is negative, or
that I say I want to get on this podcast
or that podcast and they say no, I just go
thank you Universe for protecting me and leading me in
the direction that I know that I will not understand
this until I look back on it why I didn't
do this. So it's a place it.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
All makes sense and retrospect. So go back to what
you were saying about struggling. I think that part of us,
and I talked about this a lot in my courses,
part of us feels very comfortable struggling. It doesn't feel
safe to have things flow and be effortless and things

(42:09):
working out, you know, And I always talk about fear
of success as being a huge issue for us. Talk
about that a little bit.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Yeah, you're always waiting for the other shoes drop.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
M h.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
And that goes back from when we were one and
seven and we started making these decisions about life. They're
going to hang around for the rest of our lives.
Like you know, a thousand years ago, over a course
of you know, four hundred years, culture didn't really change
that much. You know, there weren't new versions of tigers

(42:42):
and new better you know, kind of things to eat you.
But today, if you think about when we were born
and the kids are born today, it's a completely different life. Yeah, completely,
So there the struggles are always going to be They're
always going to be. Knew. We could call it evolution,

(43:02):
you know, in a certain way, because we are evolving.
We you know, to think that we're not evolving is
crazy because ever since the planet was here, it's always
been evolution. So we are changing. What does that look like?
No one knows. We can see a lot of scary
stuff if we think about it, like AI and all that,

(43:24):
but it's here. So to think about that, that's a
negative thing, and that's a struggle, and that's going to
be something that's going to kill us. It's not beneficial
to us. We can take actions to kind of prevent
that from happening, but to go do and gloom. No,
So that struggle is the learning part of life, and

(43:45):
we do get into that kind of like you said,
when people are the fear of success, well, I had
a fear of success, I would be seen that. You know,
that's the whole thing. And we develop these things for safety,
these ideas and these decisions to keep us safe. And

(44:07):
when we look at the world today, it's the things
that we're facing are so much different than our body
was designed to handle as instinct came along. Because now
it's everything is like in your mind. We use our
bodies much less our bodies. You know, we sit at computers,
we don't pay as much attention to our body because

(44:28):
when we're doing physical things in the world, we're very
conscious of our arms and our legs and where we're standing,
if we're building a house, if we're gardening, when we're
making physical things, we have to watch for our fingers.
We're very aware of our body. And now we stand
and we type and we don't even feel our fingers.
You know, we're just like these immobile brains, and so
we've lost that connection with our body to keep us

(44:53):
aware of who we are and what's going on with us,
and now we're just in a constant you know, frantic
st with anxiety and all of that.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yeah, so tell us kind of walk us through a
quick way to kind of align with who we are
or allow ourselves even to experience deserving success or connecting
with who we are. Talk is there something you can

(45:24):
just kind of talk our viewers through to just kind
of get a sense of what this is really about
in the real world.

Speaker 3 (45:31):
So first, I would say, start paying attention to your body.
So when you get yourself triggered, or when you feel triggered,
there's something that happens that you're in the grocery store
and someone cuts in line with you and you're like,
where do I feel that in my body? Number one?
Where do I feel Just to say where I feel it?
Where I feel it here and tap it. You've created

(45:51):
an awareness that something's going on that you're now you're
aware that you're having a reaction. If you don't become
aware of it, what happens. Yeah, you broke in front
of me and I'm not having it today. You know
that's a reaction. But when you because the feeling happened
what we're gonna do. And when you reacted, when you
feel it, feel here, I'm reacting. What does it feel like?

Speaker 5 (46:14):
What?

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Okay, it's scared of something? What are you scared of?
It's nothing to be scared of. Nobody's around here scared.
She just asked me a question. What are you having
for dinner? And I'm like I forgot? You know, and
just feel that and you're like, wow, my body's talking
to me. And become more and more aware of your
body so you can start using your body and like, hey,
I'm safe, I'm safe. You know, the fears you're making

(46:39):
up something in your head that's making you fearful, You're safe,
and start being in touch with it there. And then
when you're experiencing these things, like these negative things, start
to question is this true? Is this really true? And
to think about the thinking that you have journal write

(47:00):
it down, you know, what are the thoughts that are
actually going through my head?

Speaker 2 (47:04):
I have.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
I have journals. I journal all the time. Randomly I'll
go and look like a five year old journal and
read that, like who wrote this? What kind of place
was I in when I wrote this? Good or bad?
But we then when we write it down, we can
actually see like, okay, this is what's in my brain.
When it's just floating around here and we're not looking

(47:27):
at it like a second person, we don't question what
it's saying. You know, if you're telling me a story
that's really crazy, I'm like, well, Royce, let me point
out this, let me this doesn't make sense. We don't
do that to ourselves. We just keep going and making
the story more interesting, you know, and more. You know,
we're more of a victim because we didn't succeed what

(47:50):
we wanted to exceed, which just bills us up to
not be able to succeed it. It's life. We can
go out, we can do whatever we want. We have
no rules. The only person and who's judging us as us,
you know, and we're living in the trap that everybody
else is doing that. We're the ones doing that, you know,
that judgment. And then when you understand that, it becomes

(48:13):
much less of a struggle. It's just like there here,
it's just like another thing that I have to go
get my tires changed, you know, go get some air
and the tires, you know, get the tune up. Like
we'll do stuff, and like there's a lot of stuff
that we say, oh, I hate doing it's easy to do.

(48:34):
It's easy, but we make a big story that it's
really hard. It takes ten minutes. I'm doing a speech tomorrow.
I put it off writing it for two months, two weeks,
and I'm knowing that I'm doing it, and I'm just like, Okay,
this is a process that I'm doing it. Somewhere in
my mind, I'm making it be this way. I know

(48:55):
i'll write it. It's pretty much done already because it's tomorrow.
But I just trusted myself that I would get it done,
and I didn't go into my mind about all the
terrible things that can happen because I'm putting it off.
And actually what happened was I was on another podcast
and then I was in another course that I got

(49:16):
information from that I wanted to add into my speech,
and if I had written that speech, I would have
been rewriting it. So allowing myself to be where I
am and iligned around that, I'm like, this is where
I am. So the process of alignment is very simple.
So you would do some coaching that this is just

(49:37):
one of the quick techniques that I can show you.
But if I'm thinking like, I'm not prepared for my
podcast for my speech tomorrow, and I've waited too long
to write it. It's a new topic that I want
that I'm inexperienced. I might mess up. I'd have these
thoughts and kind of write down three or four of them.
And where do I feel that I feel out in

(49:58):
my chest, and what does it feel like? It feels
like a void. A hollow is like a big vacuum.
And I will think about that vacuum and as I
use tapping, so I'll go through it quickly the tappiness.
I'll tap to isolate that spot. It's like that place
in the water where we threw the big stone creating
the ripples. That's what we're holding right here. And then

(50:22):
I'll say tap like we do in EFT tapping. I wrote,
I waited too long to write my speech. It's not
going to be as good as it could because I
waited too long. I always wait too long. And that's okay.
I forgive the speech, and I forgive the listeners, and
I forgive myself, and then I'll do this tapping from
the forehead to the C seven allow on the back.

(50:45):
It's to me. I tapped like six or seven times,
like one two, three, four, five six, one two through four,
five six. So this tapping is like us interrupting the
body nerrology, the nerves that are sending the signals from here,
So it's interrupting that pattern. We're kind of like throwing
the little rocks on the big one, dissolving it, and

(51:06):
then we're adding our breath into it, so we're adding
here was the trigger. I'm not prepared. I forget I
said all the tapping words. I'm releasing it. I tap
here in through the nose, out through the mouth, in
through the nose, out through the mouth, one more time,
in through the nose, out through the mouth. And now

(51:30):
I'm going to force myself in from that calming state,
because remember I got triggered. I forced myself to go
to calm. I'm diluting the message that's going through the ripples,
and now I'm going to force myself into a panic state,
a fight or flight state, by panting and at the

(51:51):
end sile which kind of solidifies a release in storphins, dopamine,
all that stuff and solidifiers out that trigger that was there.
So the reality is, it doesn't matter when I wrote
my speech or not, I'm giving it tomorrow. It's going
to be a speech. Given I don't have to have

(52:12):
all that thinking in my head that I'm a terrible
it's going to be terrible, and then I can go
even farther and I can go. It was great that
I waited so long to speech, to write my new speech,
because it's going to be very authentic. It's going to
come from my heart. It's going to come from the
way that I talk, and it's going to resonate with

(52:34):
the people are there because I'll be able to interact
with them, and then I can align with that. So
that's squeezed into like a little spot. What it is
is that coaching to find out where the thing you
do really quickly yourself. I feel that in my body now,
was it feel like? What am I thinking about that?
What decisions that I make about the feeling? What are

(52:54):
the decisions that I'm making about this? What is happening?
It means I decided me is this. I'm just changing
the way I decide. I'm not going with my old
pattern because now I'm conscious of it. I'm taking that
old pattern out. I'm putting a new pattern in there.
And then I just have a choice. I can go
get my speech. I don't have to Oh my god,

(53:17):
do I need to cancel? Donner? What if all of
that nonsense is gone?

Speaker 2 (53:22):
Well what about we only have a couple of minutes left.
But I just wanted to put this out there. Part
of the work that I do helps people to identify
the belief that was triggered. So for example, you know,
if I put off planning my speech and I'm noticing
that and I'm realizing, oh wow, you know what's going

(53:43):
on here? I would then tap into well I believe
that I'm a terrible speech writer, or I don't deserve
to have people listen to me. There'd be some connection
with some kind of ridiculous false belief that I have
do do that with people. You have like two minutes
to do that.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
That's it, Okay, that's exactly what you do, and you
do it fast, and so you're just doing you're releasing
like however, in a three hour session, and have all
kinds of sessions, but in a three hour sessions, you
can release a lot of stuff. You know, if you've
got one particular area and you release it at a
sailor level, like we go through your chakras, we go

(54:23):
through your Chinese elements, we go through the Meridians, all
of that stuff. It's very thorough.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
Good, well, yay awesome. So tell people how to reach you.
We have like a.

Speaker 3 (54:35):
Minute of my website is there Michael Carcoaching dot com.
You can go and find out that information there and
for then I'm going to open up the appointments for
the next three or four weeks where you can book
an appointment to me to get a free session where
we're we will actually give you a breakthrough and I'll
take you through this process properly. You'll feel the shift

(54:56):
immediately and then you can go out and take action.
So it's a free forty five minute breakthrough session.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
Great. Well, keep up the good work, good important work
for this world for everybody that would like to get
unblocked and manifest their success and their greatness and their amazingness.
Thank you so much, Michael.

Speaker 3 (55:19):
Thank you Broyce for having me on today. It's been
a great experience.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
Thank you, and I will see everybody next Wednesday. Thank
you so much for joining us.

Speaker 5 (56:13):
Complet

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Michael Carr – Break Free from Invisible Resistance to Success