Relationship Coach and OCD Therapist

erin Davis, an OCD therapist and relationship coach, empowers women to get untangled from obsessive doubts, build confidence, and focus on real connection in their romantic relationship. Using her transformative PEACE method, she joins us to discover the important distinctions between obsessive and reasonable doubts that many women experience.
erins linktree
https://livebeyonddoubt.com/li...

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, guys, it's Pete for Beef Anxiety here. Welcome in
today's episode. I appreciate all being here so much. Let's
talk about a few things real quick. The P for
SO Anxiety Team anxiety Facebook group. Are you a part
of it?

Speaker 2 (00:13):
You're not?

Speaker 1 (00:14):
What are you waiting for? The leaks out here in
the description now below, or go to Facebook and search
pe for anxiety, then look for the team Anxiety team
page and joining today. Why not you can join the
help it'd be great, Like right now, hurry up, stop
it doing paused video? Go do around. But anyways, let's
also talk about the P for Sonxiety YouTube page. You guys,
if you're here right now, you're probably following it most likely.
If not, head on over there subscribe vision I don't

(00:36):
like in comment on the videos and let me know
because all that suff really helps, guys, I really appreciate
it and help me break the stigma that mental health
is talked about enough. But anyways, guys, let's get in
today's episode. Oh I have a great one. Thank you
so much again, and as always, say, don't ask your
day is asking your mental health is?

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Today, guys, are an exciting episode of Pete for sonxiety.
Here in the Oracle Talk Radio Network, my guest today
helps women untangled from worried thoughts by weaving together their
story into a narrative that lets live in the president
open the door to deep love. Please welcome the host
of the Bossing Up Overcoming oc podcast, the One, the Only,
Aaron Davis. How you doing today?

Speaker 3 (01:11):
Hi, thank you, Pete. I'm doing great.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
I really really appreciate you having me on your show.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
So glad to be here.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Well, I'm glad you're here. So why don't you tell
me a little bit more about yourself? Little know who
Aeron is exactly.

Speaker 4 (01:23):
Yes, So I've been in the mental health field for
fourteen years.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
That's kind of like the boring part of it, But
the exciting.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
Part is I've really found some unique ways to help
women get out of these OCD loops because time and
tom again, women are told that.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
It's just stress, it's just anxiety, when really it's more
than that. OCD.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
Yes, there's anxiety involved, but it's a belief disorder because
you are doubting yourself, You're doubting your reality. And so
I help women get to know the real you, and
that is such a special transformation that they go through.
And yeah, I mean that's something that I've really refined
and worked on over the years because I've seen it

(02:06):
even in my own life. I got so tired of
doctors saying it's just stress when it's much more than that.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Oh I agree, I agree, I think it is. I
think a lot of people are quick to say it's
one thing when it's really another thing, and a lot
of them don't even address it to a lot of
therapists on either, like a lot of topics we've gotten
into it. It's so scary how many people just kind
of avoid it. They're like, okay, whatever, I think I
can handle this, but they can't. And it's just like, yeah,
I don't think so, man, you're killing this, you know.
And it's interesting though, because OCD has not been covered

(02:34):
on the show yet. I don't think we've even touched
that actually at this point. So, which is great that
the what's way you're here though, so you can you
can help people out with some tips and things like
that and all that good stuff too. So what led
you to do your podcast though?

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Absolutely well, mostly because of so many women coming into
my office who say they have anxiety and they.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Have been the therapist for years.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
Okay, so they've been in therapy, done all the things,
and they are at this low place in their life
where they're like, I don't think anything's gonna work, Like
do I have to.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Live like this forever? And that's just really troubling, you know,
really troubling that.

Speaker 4 (03:17):
Someone is going to a trained therapist. And I've since
transitioned into coaching to try to reach more women because
you go expecting.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
That you're gonna get help and then it doesn't help.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
And that's the thing because the techniques are very, very
different from just the anxiety stuff. But the other reason
that I started the podcast was because people will say, oh,
I'm so OCD, and it's like, oh, huh no, you're not.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Like there's there's definitely and.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
That can be offensive to people who truly struggle and
like have the twenty four to seven nightmare going on
in their head. So there's a big different diference in
what truly is OCD. And so ultimately the podcast is
there to be like a free resource but also inform women.

(04:10):
I mean men too, but mostly women, Like, here's the
sneaky ways OCD shows up. Because recently I just launched
a series on narcissism because women who are like very thoughtful, kind,
empathetic when they do nice things for others, they're like, oh,

(04:31):
does that make me a narcissist? Because they like me
or because I'm getting attention, and so anyway, they can
really withdraw and shelter themselves over so many fears.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
And things, and they don't have to because narcissism was
talked about in this show twice and we upset some
people like we could turn it into like theo they
felt what we were talking about. Me and one of
my guests, she runs the podcast You Have the Power,
Her and I were talking about it, and some people
are saying, like fifteen minutes in that interview, fifteen to
thirty minutes, they're like, yeah, I got to take a break.
This is getting rough because we went deep into that conversation.

(05:04):
And you know, I've had some other authors too, like
me Hanks wrote the book Bridesmaid, you know, talk about
her fifteen years with her husband, things like that. So
that one when that comes up, it's very interesting to
get responses from people because they're like, oh, man, because
a lot of people are like, they don't realize that
that's their situation they're in because they don't see it
that way is you're not looking at the outside looking
in somebody else in the outside trying to tell you.

(05:25):
And like my situations like that too. The person look
at the outside was like, hey man, you need to
wake up and see there's this going on here. Look
at these things. Look at these things you keep telling me.
It's like these things are all things you're not noticing,
you know. And when people realize it then they're like,
oh man, that tug at the strings really hard too.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
Yes, And for OCD, it attacks the things that you
love most.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
And one big thing to be clear on.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
OCD thoughts are what we call ego dys tonic, meaning
they go against what you cherish. It goes again, it's
your character and that's why the thoughts are so upsetting. Yeah,
it goes against who you are. But when a woman
is thinking like what if I'm a narcissist, she's really

(06:13):
stressing out about it, and you know, a true narcissist
they're not going to worry about that.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, true, very true, you know. And I think that
I think people say narcissists real fast, but don't understand
what the word even means half the time, and they
don't even understand the situation a lot of times, because
then they'll be like, oh, I didn't know. That's the
whole point. The narcissist doesn't want you to know. A
lot of the coport ones will just sit there and
paint themselves to be this god godly picture whatever they want,
this positive image. But in the vaccine they're doing these

(06:41):
hainous things, and a lot of people don't realize that either,
and they're like, oh, well, why didn't you tell me sooner? Well,
because it's not that easy to tell somebody when you're
in that situation, because sometimes they're using something against you
and they're feeding off your fears and things like that too.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
Oh yes, So a real narcissist will manipulate people to
get what they want, whereas an OCD person, in my experience,
they are very kind and considerate and so they wouldn't
think of hurting anyone in any way. So yeah, whenever

(07:16):
they have any kind of thought that makes them seem
unwanted or like harmful to others, anything of that sort,
it just makes them get really anxious and they they
can do all sorts of things like monitoring their thoughts.
They're researching on Google.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Asking not the wemen D. No, not to guess seems
like wemen D when you say that, because that's what
you think of those as people go there go well
I think I got cancer. I'm like, yeah, I don't
think that's how this works. Unfortunately, you can't diagnose that.

Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yes, exactly, And so that would be a form of
the health OCD, where you know, they're paranoid about their health,
Like they get a headache, they worry that it's brain
cancer her, you know, and I call it doctor Google.
They go to doctor Google all the time.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, you know. That's funny too, because me and another
guest we were talking about actually chat gpt came up
in the conversation and she was like, she has this
app and she said that chat gpt was telling people
how to commit suicide. And I was like what, yeah,
So she said that what it was they were doing.
People kept making that statement about her. They said chat
ett is my better therapist than my actual therapist. I

(08:26):
guess chat GGBT didn't have a filter on there or something,
and it was telling people like how to commit you know,
these acts, you know, and I'm just like I'm like, well,
hold up. She's like yeah, you know she because she's like,
my app's not like that. We work really hard to
make sure these things happened. And she was telling me
about it, and I was just like, wait a minute.
What She's like, yeah, did you hear about that on
chat GGBT just talking to these people are really the

(08:47):
pressed for talking to them, you know, have these really
bad thoughts, and it started suggesting ways of that they
should go about doing it. I'm like, no, chack stop.
It was it was just crazy to hear because it's
just like what because you know, you hear all these
people posting these videws. I'm like, oh, well, chat GPT
is better than my faith therapist and I'm like, god stop, guys,

(09:08):
just stop, because someone's gonna buy that crap and go
do that. And now this is what the end result is,
someone actually did it. Now chat GPT is giving out
these suggestions to people that are possibly in this state
of mind, you know, and it's just it's not good.

Speaker 4 (09:22):
Well, and you're bringing up such a valid point, like
we have to be careful what information where we're seeking
like the source. Oh my gosh, I cannot get over
that chat gpt did that.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
But I'm also not.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Surprised Wikipedia to this out there too, and we all
know that's edited by the public, you know, so we
a lot of people like to you know, refer to
that too. I'm like, well, you know, check your sources
is a very good point when you say that, because
do check who're you're getting your information from, because what's
their credits, you know, like and things like that too.
And I think people just start getting things are going

(09:56):
these rabbit holes and stuff, you.

Speaker 3 (09:57):
Know, and it's just absolutely yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
That's a fun one too.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
Yes, because as you can see on the Internet, people
can say anything and everything and and that kind of
that sucks because for people who are experts, they kind
of get drowned out in the noise. And so it's like, well,
how do you know who to really go to? And
so what I would recommend is looking at someone's actual experience,

(10:25):
Like chat gpt has zero, like that's apples and oranges
and like the OCD groups that I'm a part of,
like on Facebook and stuff, I have seen them post
content in there of like oh went to chat gpt
for this exposure exercise. I'm sharing it and I'm like
Oh no, like that is so risky. CHATCHEPT does not

(10:50):
understand your brain.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
It doesn't.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
It knows and like and let.

Speaker 4 (10:56):
Me be fair, Okay, do I use chat pte GPT, sure,
you know, but only for outlines like the other stuff
that I'm sharing on my podcast, Like that's from experience,
that's from training, that's from like the continuing education units
that I do every year. I mean, like so different.

(11:19):
So anyway, in talking about exposures as an example, like
it's a very specific technique we use for OCD to
help retrain your brain that you can tolerate this feared
situation because what you're ultimately doing is you're changing your

(11:39):
relationship with these thoughts. Yeah, so while chat GPT may
give you an exposure exercise, who's going to be there
to hold you accountable to doing the exercise? First of all,
because like, if we want to work out, we can
go to a gym. We probably know what to do
a little bit. We know how to do push up,

(12:01):
sit ups, squats, But how much more are we going
to accomplish if we have a personal trainer?

Speaker 2 (12:07):
True, because it's all about proper technique and everything else
and things like that, you know, the extent how much
research you go into it and you see what they're
telling you, did you versus you know what other people
are telling you. Yeah, yes, And.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
So chat GPT is not going to be there to
encourage you.

Speaker 4 (12:24):
It's not going to even probably give you the right
step honestly, because we do this in a hierarchy of steps. Yeah,
and we're like in my work, I'm gauging with the
person how much stress they're under, so then I'm not
overwhelming them, because there is a fine line that when
you're overwhelmed with the stress, you're not learning.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's what I can tell you
that because that's when my anxiety sometimes like that too.
It's just I get so overwhelmed. It's like it just
starts boiling over and it's just like once my heart
starts racing and you don't know it's racing. I'm just
I'm done. The light's round, but nobody's home at that point,
Like I'm there, but I'm not there.

Speaker 4 (13:05):
Yes, And that's a natural physical response because you think
about our fighter flight reaction is there to help us survive,
and if we're running from a lion, tiger bear, we
don't need to be doing math problems or reading a
book or deep breathing exercises.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
No, we need to get out.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Dodge and we to get out of get the hell
out of there. Let's go run.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
Yes. Yes, so man, this chat cheepyte thing so crazy.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
She's like, the damn chat GPT against ruining it for me. No,
we're so fascinating. Because doctor Fujan is the one that
told me about it. She was like when we discussed it,
I was just like, what hold up. She's like, yeah,
I was telling them all these things and I was like,
are you kidding. She's like no, no, see because she
has an apparol and she was citing like that's the
reason she went to such extent to make sure that

(13:56):
hers wouldn't lead you download thought patterns and things like
that too, because that wasn't the purpose of it. But
she said people were doing that whole trend of oh
well chat GPT's my whatever, because you know social media,
we post these things so everybody gets excited wants go
do the same thing too now and then it's like, yeah,
we're a very sheepish mentality here in society. I don't
get why we decide to keep doing some of these

(14:17):
stupid things that we do. But you know, so I'm.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
Gonna learn well exactly, and there's probably gonna be a wave,
you know how it goes, like the pendulum swings, like
eventually probably chat GPT.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
Well, they're not gonna be using that for mental health.

Speaker 4 (14:32):
There's probably gonna be some kind of black box warning
that comes out on it eventually, you know, yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 4 (14:40):
It's like the instructions they get more and more dumbed
down as the years go on.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, yeah, no, I feel that exactly. It's just like
it's like, okay, step one breathe, then step two breathe.
It's like you're gonna have to teach people how to breathe.
And it's just like it's it's scary that. You know
what is that movie Idiocracy is the one that's the
closest thing to what you're saying now, is because then
the movie, the premise was it's like what happens if
stupid people only only reproduce and the smart people didn't

(15:06):
because they were overthinking things too much, Like they're like,
you know, trying to like way to variables and things,
so you're watching them way to variables in an album
assing just so these start disappearing, then it's although it
happens with stupid people take over and then you've got,
oh my gosh, we're trying to use energy drink to
water the grass and wonder why it's not growing type
things going on.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
It was.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
It was a great movie and anybody's never seen it.
It's hilarious.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
I saw a like a meme or something about how
instructions have gotten a lot dumber.

Speaker 3 (15:37):
And you would think that we.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
Would be a lot smarter, right because we gained more
knowledge and experience.

Speaker 3 (15:42):
But it was like looking at the instructions.

Speaker 4 (15:45):
Of a car back in the day and it was
like how to do all this stuff with a transmission
and whatnot.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
And then now it says do not eat the battery, Like.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
I'm not surprised because somebody says something when that's why
it's always somebody that ruins it for everybody. And it's
the same thing with anything. Everybody's like, well who ruined
it for us?

Speaker 3 (16:05):
Now?

Speaker 2 (16:06):
The internet, like you want to listen to this one,
you will know it's what it's now. Tiktoks someone they
blame the most now because that's where everybody goes for everything,
like you know, all these videos and then you have
all these people giving all this misinformation. So I could
see that, though for you it's hard because it's like
then somebody comes you with this information and you're looking
at I'm like, huh, where did you find this? And
then you say like god, damn it, TikTok, here we

(16:28):
go again. How many times is going to tell you
not to do something right?

Speaker 3 (16:32):
Right?

Speaker 2 (16:33):
It is? But it's it's the truth. I think about it.
Because social media now you have such a wide reach
to how you get to everybody you know, and it's
it's the same in your podcast. You could reach more
people in a broader scale than even though people that
are just like well I don't think I'm OCD or whatever.
You know, they can start listening and start identifying these things.
But it's like like, ah, there's so much crap out there.
It's like you have to sort through all the ship
to get to the facts and everything like that, and

(16:55):
like you said, all the experts are getting founded out.
But then you got these guys and these people gather
are so can vincing because they're like, oh, this is
how you should do it, or this, and I was like, stop,
please stop, Like your first question, alway should be is
what are your credentials? To anybody? That's telling when you
advice of any sort, one and only thing you ask
them is like, hey, what's your credentials? Because watch them
how fast they turn back and go, oh, well I

(17:16):
don't have any Well, kay, then how are you giving
me advice to me when you have no training whatsoever?

Speaker 4 (17:22):
Exactly exactly, And you know, I won't name drop, but
there is a really big person out there who promotes
like a lot of mindfulness and self and you probably
know who I'm talking about.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
And their whole background is like a fraud.

Speaker 4 (17:40):
Yeah, Like they didn't really go to a said place
and have like a spiritual awakening. No, they just found
a way to create a story, to maneuver and manipulate
the audience and buy into this story. And now here
they are creating like a university that's a scam and
so much stuff.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah. Yeah, And it's scary though, because people are like
they buy into this, and it's like, you buy in
this narrative and it's just like, but you don't, you
don't think that some of this doesn't sound weird? It's
like we're doing all these things. Does this sounds a
little strange to you? Oh no, no, We're just gonna
keep going with it or whatever. You know, It's like
that one person in the mob party is always asking questions,
like you know, Rob Shangers to plays those characters, Like
he's like, oh wait, hold on, okay, no mind, let's go.

(18:24):
You know, like it's just like come, okay, stop. Yeah,
I get social media's great. It's good to connect with people,
it's good to get information things, but like, let's let's
pick who we're getting our sources from. Like you can
listen to some of these guys. But that's the question
you ha should always be is the credential thing. I
think that when you start asking questions about people's backgrounds
and things, you find very interesting things out of bottom

(18:45):
or is it you know, all the things like Bill's cosmes,
you know, just just all these different people out there
doing all these things in the vaccine that you didn't
know they were doing the whole time or something. You
know what I mean. It's just like people just gets
always interested by it. So yeah, you know what, well,
it was the whole Kogan now is the one that
he died recently. Now these people drink everything into a
political statement because oh now the left sid's up. I'm like,

(19:06):
what what?

Speaker 3 (19:07):
Why?

Speaker 2 (19:08):
Oh my gosh god, No, it's because everybody wants a trigger.
Or is the girl that the girl that does what
is it the transcender girl like was put in almost
videos up just to get a bunch of hate. Lily Tino,
there you go, the one who was talking about those
inappropriate things in Disney World and things. There's just disgusting
things just going. It's like, why why do that? Because
now you're going to make people dislike everybody's trans because
they're any think that they're all thinking the same way

(19:29):
you are. And now you're starting this mob mentality against
everybody because you're putting out all this misinformation about things,
and you're talking about things in Disney World of all
places where kids are at, Like you're a grown person, Like,
come on, use common sense when you're doing these things.
But it's just it's in anothery're blaming Disney, and it's like, well,
Disney has like so many things going on like this
one person who obviously isn't even on their radar is

(19:51):
saying these things. You know, it's just it's just crazy.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yeah, so true.

Speaker 4 (19:55):
And not only is it do you have to be
careful where you get your information or like your sources from.
But I think as the creator, like as you're saying,
it's on you to put out truthful, truthful stuff, And
I hate that in my like podcasts. I mean, it's

(20:18):
a legal thing, but I hate that I even have
to say, like, this is not a substitute for professional
medical advice.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah, you know, because I.

Speaker 4 (20:27):
Don't want people assuming like, oh, I listen to your
podcast and therefore you're my therapist.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Like you know, that's funny you say that because a
lot of people that hear my show, oh Pete knows
how to deal with anxiety, and like, no, Piez just
one average show man. I invite people on this show
to come talk about things that they specialize in and
where they can find you guys, and you know, you
guys come on, give us great tips and tell us
about what things you're doing now or you know, is
anybody wants to venture that way, I by no means
claim any way of being an expert of any sort.

(20:53):
I'm just one guy curious along the way, you know,
and I'm learning different things for every guest I interact with,
you know, and I'm meeting new people as I go
and making new connections and things like that too. And
it's like a lot of people start to misconcept that
or they go, oh, what's your podcast about anxiety? Only
I'm like, hmm, no, no, it's not. Actually it's my
own battle versus my own anxiety. That's the name of it.
And then it's a mental health journey of the fact

(21:14):
that this topic isn't talked about enough. I don't care
what people say, it's not talked about enough. I mean,
we have these celebrities talking about it, that's great, But
where the average shows talking about it? Because you know,
like the people that are the bread and butter this
whole thing, you know, where are they at?

Speaker 4 (21:27):
You know?

Speaker 2 (21:27):
And that's what the great thing with this show is
that I invite anybody that wants to come tell their
stories and things like that. We've heard some crazy fucking stories,
like there's a guy that caused a stir panic, like
God's those crushing tokyo again because he was talking about
a suthicide ideation. He was like, hey, Pete, that morning,
you know, I had had the gun in hand and
he was going full description and people are just going

(21:48):
mass panic.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
They're like, oh god, oh god, they're so triggered.

Speaker 5 (21:52):
Huh yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
But it's like he's talking to you because keep in mind,
note what we know is at least he's talking to
us because he's man one, and we all know men
don't talk enough about it because eighty percent of us
are gone at a faster rate than we're reproducing, you know,
and it's because we don't discuss it. Lady's discussed it
more than we do, you know, and things like that too.
But it was like, he's talking to you. Now, is
this sit in comfort conversation? Yeah, anybody talking about taking

(22:15):
it like, it's not always an uncomfortable conversation. It's never easy.
I've had a few people showing Million Box talking about that,
and I was just.

Speaker 4 (22:20):
Like, well, I'm glad you brought that up, because that's
also it could be an OCD thing. So when someone
has we call it harm OCD or a suicidal OCD
because I and I had. I've got several episodes on

(22:42):
that on my YouTube and you can find that Aaron
Davis YouTube. And I appreciate you subscribing to my channel.
By the way, subscribe back. But yeah, so what happens
is like the basis of OCD is that you experience
intrusive thoughts.

Speaker 3 (22:59):
Yeah, and what that means is these.

Speaker 4 (23:01):
Thoughts come in involuntarily, they're unwanted, you weren't.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
Thinking about them on purpose. And the other thing.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
About these thoughts, like to make it classified in the
therapy world as OCD, is that it's either the thoughts
or the behaviors that last more than an hour a day.
And like we have up to seventy thousand are you

(23:37):
able to still hear me?

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yeah, I'm hearing now.

Speaker 4 (23:40):
Okay, all right, so we have up to seventy thousand
thoughts a day, So, I mean it's super easy to
be stuck in a cycle for ever, let.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
Me ask you this question. Do you think people misconcept
what OCD really is or like they think it's something
different than what it is quite far, I'm sure you
run into a problem a lot of times when people
are saying something and you're like, yeah, well that's not
really what it is.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
Yes, there's a huge misconception about it. People think that
it's just the germophobia, like it's just handwashing or being
very organized. Maybe if they have a little bit more
knowledge of SCD, maybe they'll get to the point of, oh,
it's tapping or magic numbers.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
But it's way more than that.

Speaker 4 (24:23):
So, like with the suicidal thoughts, I've even worked with
an adult who checked themselves into the hospital because they
were so worried that they were going to accidentally harm themselves.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
So yeah, is that really really the situation though, there's
no way you can accidentally do anything. I may not
wrong going down that road because it kind of sounds like,
you know, but it makes sense though, because like I said,
I think a lot of people the same thing with
d ID was the same thing with It was called
multiple personality sort of for the longest time. Then they
changed the name of it, so that makes a little

(24:57):
more sense. But it wasn't really so much different personalities
in everybody. It was those little tweaks of things that
you see when someone does you know, and it's different
in everybody, and it's really hard one of the real
hard ones to diagnose. We had a guest that that
was that said that they had it. I believe it
because the way you could see these little twitch and
things that just started happening. Personality changes a little bit

(25:18):
so well.

Speaker 4 (25:20):
And you're right because with OCD there is an element
of disassociation. Okay, okay, yeah, because when and we call
that the OCD bubble. Okay, yeah, So you know whenever
you have like had a day dream or something and
then all of a sudden you're like, oh my gosh,
how long was I lost in thought? Like if you

(25:43):
were that OCD person and you were thinking of, oh
my gosh, like what if I stab myself with a knife?
What if I stab my loved ones with a knife?

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Like what am I going to do?

Speaker 4 (25:51):
I need to put the knives away, and like but
can I even touch the knives to even put them away?
You know, So you do all of that ruminating and
and that can really work someone up, because yeah, they
believe that they will just one day snap and yeah
kill people or hurt people and stab people and like
all these miserable things.

Speaker 3 (26:12):
But you can tell this.

Speaker 4 (26:15):
Is the work of the OCD therapist or a trained
I want to say trained OCD coach, you know, because
you can't just go to anybody, but they will know
and help you recognize that those are OCD thoughts because
you're clearly distressed by them. But see to the person.
They don't see that. They're like, oh my gosh, I'm
a psychopath, Like I need to lock myself up. I

(26:37):
need And what they'll do. Avoidance is the king of OCD.
Like that is the number one compulsion I see across
all all of the themes, even if it's religious, OCD,
Like that's a big one. People will want to know,
like how do I know I'm saved? How do I

(26:57):
know if I'm not going to Hell? Or what if
I pissed off God? And like there's so many things
around them. I mean, it starts young, and it takes
and for a person with OCD, it can take an
average of ten to fourteen years before they actually get
real help for it.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
Is it because people don't really know they have OCD?
Or is it it's like you said, they don't really
realize these things are happening. It's just normal thought process
to them.

Speaker 3 (27:28):
I think that's a lot of it for sure. Because
another thing that happens is.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
For adolescents anyway, parents will say, oh, they'll grow out
of it, you know, like if it's a germaphobia fear,
for example, Oh, they'll grow out of it. Well, no,
they don't, because they haven't learned to retrain their brain.
And what OCD does, it's very sneaky and it's a
shape shifter. And so what happens is like, once you

(27:59):
get over one fear, another fear will rise up. And
so the parent may mistakenly assume that their child has
outgrown it or gotten over it. But what's really happened
is they just shifted into a new worry.

Speaker 3 (28:13):
And sometimes these worries feel so.

Speaker 4 (28:17):
Dark that they won't share it with anybody.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, probably because they're embarrassed, right, is that that would
it be?

Speaker 4 (28:24):
Though?

Speaker 2 (28:26):
It's gonna make you know, but it's gonna make racial
relationships interesting too, though, you know, because a lot of times,
you know, women have those self doubts about just whatever
it could be, the littlest thing, something gets said in
the weirdest way possible, and you know, I know that's
a problem I have. Sometimes It's like some things get
set and I'm just like, you know, and it's the
same way both ways obviously, but you know, I'll see
some things that my wife will look at me like,

(28:47):
but you know, I could just only imagine what it's like,
you know, because you know, things are thinking about, well,
what does he really mean by it? Is he really okay?
Or you know what I mean? Like I could just
imagine the thoughts racing through their poor heads at that time.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
And that's the situation I ran into. Even in my
own marriage. I'm in a loving marriage and my husband
is the best ever. And for me, we were twelve
years in to our marriage and I nearly sabotaged it
because I was so much in my head of like

(29:22):
wanting reassurance and looking for reassurance all the time that
he loved me and only me, you know, and like
he does and like he does, but like any little
thing like if his like you're saying, like if his
tone somehow felt different to me, It's like, what's going on?

Speaker 3 (29:44):
What did I do? Does he not love me? Is
he about to walk out?

Speaker 4 (29:46):
Like?

Speaker 3 (29:47):
It was like a litany of.

Speaker 4 (29:51):
Just NonStop thoughts for me, and then I'd be sick
to my stomach and then I can't focus.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
And so yeah, you could, yeah, run into that problem.
They don't realize that that's what it is, though, And
I think the hardest part is having the conversation because
then you sound like quote unquote crazy because you're you're
thinking these things but at the same time and a
lot of it. Like I know, I had a really
bad relationship with my EGS for fifteen years. Man, it's
just fucked me bad. So when I got me and

(30:17):
her were getting dating at first, it was like she
understood a lot of these things. She's very understanding in
the beginning because I was bad, Like I was fucked up.
I ain't gonna lot of y'all. I was bad, But
you know, it was hard to even admit that because
I don't I don't like to admit my faults at anything.
I don't like taking responsibility when I'm wrong for certain things,
you know, Like you know, but I think I think

(30:37):
communication has been the best thing for us too. Like
we've had opened, eynest conversations about stuff. But you know,
if I've had like sometimes she'll say something, I'll just
look at it, like and I gotta tell myself, listen, man,
just relax, you know, Like I'm having the self dialogue
of like, you know, listen, you gotta chill out. Bro,
You're just gonna jump the gun here. You can't do that,
because that's how the reason this podcast even started was
that he jumped the gun. She had said something or something.

(30:58):
I don't even know what it was. It just triggered
me to it's so angry, Like I was so mad,
but I don't know what it was mad about.

Speaker 4 (31:03):
You know.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
It's like and it was like, oh, yeah, now I
need to do something. So when I started getting mental health,
I was just like, you know, I wonder how many
other people are talking about this, because I was. I
was doing a podcast prior to this one. It was something.
It was a little fun at first. It was like
the first season was just the most outrageous things I've
ever dealt with in customer service. And you'd be amazed
how many people want to listen to some of these
wild stories I had, and a lot of them going

(31:24):
to this their only answer question is, hey, is this true.
I'm like, yeah, I was here for him. I got
more if you want trust me.

Speaker 5 (31:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:32):
But you know, it's like I understand that I get it, man,
because my anxiety will sometimes take off running with things
and it's just like the thought, my head'll start going
and my heart will start racing, and before I know it,
I'm already in a full blown panic attack, almost ready
to just go off the deep end. And it's just
it gets rough at times.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 4 (31:48):
So I was totally there and my husband told me
that something's got to change. So what because when we
got to a place swhere, like all of these thoughts.

Speaker 3 (32:02):
Came out and he was like, I don't even.

Speaker 4 (32:04):
Know what you're talking about. He was like, and the
sweetest thing, Pete.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
He held my hand and he was like, I want
to grow old with you. And I'm like, oh my gosh,
I'm not just an idiot.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
Yeah, but I get it, Like I understand because I
could relate to that because I've had that issue where
it's just like my thoughts are swirling and I'm just like,
you know, I'm fuming for no reason, but what I'm
mad about. That's the thing, you know. It's like you know,
and then it's the decision of which if you're going
to say something or how you're going to react to it,
And you know, I think that's where a lot of
issues come up too. It's like you start reacting them

(32:38):
and just start asking weird questions or you start doing
that thing where you want to like check their phones.
But I don't, you know, I've never never been that
type of person. I never been that type of person.
But you know those kind of thoughts coming, then that's
how you get those people that start like checking everything
because they're so paranoid because they're like, oh, what's going
to happen next? You know, and stuff too.

Speaker 4 (32:54):
So yeah, well, and now that you say that, as
far as like the obsessions go in OCD, it can
be a.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
Thought, image or an urge.

Speaker 4 (33:06):
So if you had an intrusive urge to check their phone, yeah,
that that could be part of an OCD cycle. Now
here's the other thing too. I want to be clear,
just because you experience intrusive thoughts, it doesn't mean you
have OCD.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah, okay, yeah, I get that completely.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
Yeah, we all have intrusive thoughts.

Speaker 4 (33:27):
We all get really weird or wonky thoughts and like
they'll pop up and be like oh my gosh, like
you know, what is that?

Speaker 3 (33:35):
Okay, so we we experience that. We all experience that.

Speaker 4 (33:39):
But the difference is an OCD person will put power
to those thoughts in a sense of they get hooked
by it and they're like, oh no, what does that
say about me? And then they start that downward spiral
of investigating it or going deep or assuming it means
something you know so. And the way I like to

(34:01):
phrase it to my ladies is these interestive thoughts are
like a homeless man walking up to you and asking
you where'd you put my keys?

Speaker 2 (34:13):
That's great? Yeah, yeah, oh my god, that's awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (34:20):
So if that were happening, you'd probably look at that
dude and be like you crazy, but I don't know
you and you walk on. But for whatever reason, whenever
these interests of thoughts start to fly by, you grab.

Speaker 4 (34:33):
It and you hang on to it and you're like, oh,
this must mean something, yeah, and so you want to
act on it. And I think that's where a lot
of our culture just goes too far with like the
be happy and do what makes you feel good and
you know, like, I don't know, this gets too too

(34:54):
fluffy and snowflaky, and people get they get caught up
in it.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
She's like, I don't like your happy positive videos. Forget you, okay.
So you know it's it's funny though, because that's what
it's like. Though you think about it. They grab onto
something and they just start running with it. Well, what
is it? What happened there? What is this? And it's
like people, all these people want to tell you just overlax.
It's like, yeah, I wish that's how it worked. Okay,
I'm glad that you could just have that magic switch

(35:23):
or just turn it off like a light and it
just goes off. It doesn't work like that unfortunately.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (35:30):
And you know, for their support system, like let's say
their boyfriend or best friend, they've already told them, why
don't you just stop thinking about it?

Speaker 3 (35:38):
And it's like, gee, if I'd only thought about.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
That sooner, you know what I'm saying. It's like, thanks
for the great advice. Appreciated what else you got from
me today?

Speaker 4 (35:46):
You know?

Speaker 5 (35:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (35:47):
But seriously, though, like our culture gets so wrapped up
in this idea that we need to be happy all
the time. Yeah, And I think that's where like I
kind of put up like a because interestive thoughts are
going to happen. Yeah, it's just how you respond to them.

(36:09):
So can you observe them like from a distance and
be like, all right, it's just an intrusive thought and
move on with your life, because what really defines you
is how you show up in the world like consistently,
So your thoughts do not define who you are and

(36:32):
what I like to tell people and this is something
I've learned in my training. Just because you think it,
it doesn't mean it's true. And just because you feel
it it doesn't mean it's dangerous.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
Yeah. Yeah, just a good point though, you know, just
because Santa Claises still road doesn't make them really you know,
you're right?

Speaker 3 (36:49):
Okay, Yeah, yeah, a good point.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
So that's hilarious. So do you have any tips for
people like like OCD? Like what if like here, how
about this be easier for you? About how does someone
identify if they're OCD? Like, like someone's sitting or listening
is going okay, well, how can I tell if I'm OCD?
What are some things they should be looking for that
maybe there's they need to go find some help for that.

Speaker 4 (37:14):
Yeah, So I would first look at how much distress
you're experiencing, Like, if you're experiencing a lot of anxiety
over you know, some thoughts or situations, that would be
your first clue. Okay, second clue is how are you

(37:37):
reacting to those thoughts?

Speaker 3 (37:39):
Do you then go ask for reassurance?

Speaker 4 (37:43):
Do you then go to Google and try to research
or do you then try to avoid that thing because
you don't trust yourself. Yeah, and then in total, if
it's more than an hour a day, and you know,
the OCD can wax and wayne And honestly, I think
all of us can be OCD about something at some

(38:07):
point of our life. You know, because for example, let's
say college students, you spend more than an hour a
day worrying about your grades if you're you know, a
good student. But I'd say the third layer to watch
out for is how much like chaos is this bringing

(38:28):
in your life because you worrying about your grades? Like
that's not that's not a huge problem on your social
relationships unless there's something else going on, if.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
That makes sense.

Speaker 4 (38:42):
Yeah, So is this holding you back from feeling confident?
Is this holding you back from you know, asking someone
out on a date. Is this keeping you inside and
you're not going on a walk like outside your home?
Are you avoiding like even your pet because you're worried

(39:02):
about something bad happening? Like you can tell if there's
this looming dark cloud over you that you can't seem
to shake.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Yeah, yeah, no, it makes sense. So I mean it's
just you know, and I guess the fault to that
would be definitely be like if someone you know has OCD,
do you have any tips of them how to handle
it better, because you know a lot of people don't
understand these situations and they overreact or they'll do something
and they could have avoided it the whole time, you know,
instead of making the situation worse. These are some things

(39:35):
they could do.

Speaker 4 (39:36):
Yeah, I mean, definitely get help because OCD can be
so tricky and it likes to twist things because some
of these worries are understandable, Like sure, you don't want
to go to hell, you know, but how much of

(39:57):
that worry is like like filtering over into your life
to a point where you can't function. You're not listening
to the radio, you're not opening your Bible, you're not
going to church, things like that.

Speaker 3 (40:13):
So anyhow, in getting help, find someone who's trained. First
of all.

Speaker 4 (40:21):
The next thing that I would recommend that's like a
do it on your own, you know type of strategy
is making a list of your values.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
Okay, so those things that oh, is that the dog
behind you?

Speaker 4 (40:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (40:36):
Yeah, help help me. Okay, So making a list of
your values, because your values.

Speaker 4 (40:43):
Are those things that light you up and that bring
you fulfillment and the more. The more time you spend
in those values, the less time you're giving the OCD. Yeah,
And what often happens is the OCD attack.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
Those things that you value.

Speaker 4 (41:02):
So your pet, for example, you probably value your pet
like you love them, you take care of them, you
wouldn't do anything to hurt them.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
You'd be surprised at how OCD will tell you, Oh.

Speaker 4 (41:13):
You're gonna you're gonna put them in a boiling pot
of water, or you're going to put them in your dryer,
or you're going to put them in the microwave, or
you're going to stab them.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Yeah, the pets, yes, and here, okay, well, and.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
I've worked with plenty of people who have had this fear.
But and that and that's where it gets.

Speaker 4 (41:37):
Hard for them, you know, because and that's the point
where they seek out help because they're like, I love
my pet, but I can't It's like I can't even
be around them because I'm so worried I'm going to
hurt them.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
And that's not good for any of us.

Speaker 4 (41:52):
Yeah, And and that's why people don't speak up about
it because it's it can be very scary. Sometimes it's like,
oh my gosh, what a you know that they might
feel like they're a psycho when it's just OCD, like
this doesn't define who you are.

Speaker 3 (42:08):
So I hope you don't mind them being very real
about how it is.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Yeah, you know, and it's I think that's the part too,
is when people start talking with things like that, their
reactions with their their biggest fear is like they're worried
what someone's going to say, you know. And it's the
same thing when it came to therapy and all kind
of stuff. You tell people you're going to see a
therapist and then they look at you from a different light.
They're like, oh, you're crazy. I'm like, no, I don't
think you know what crazy is. But okay, you know,
it's like you can't always listen to them, you know,

(42:34):
and you know, don't be afraid to tell people if
you're doing stuff like that. It's like, you know, they're
going to have their preconceived notions either way. It's just like,
you know, that's the hardest part about it's just mentals
in generals, when you talk about it, people just start
shutting down. They're like, yeah, I'm good because nobody wants
to talk about their feelings or any of this other
kind of stuff and then they find out all these
things about you or you know, the ideations that stuff

(42:56):
comes up too, and people get nervous because they're just like,
they don't know how to handle these things. So that's
the thing of the well, starting a conversation, you know,
is to get them to understand it. You know, yeah,
you may hear these things, but it doesn't mean go
straight into panic mode because you know, it may be
beneficial for this person to be talking to you now
versus not saying anything later and not be able to
see anything later because you know they are so afraid

(43:19):
to talk to you about it.

Speaker 4 (43:20):
Mm hmm, yes, exactly. Yeah, people don't know how to
handle it. And when people come into my world to
get help with their OCD, we will also involve.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Their partner or their parents so that they know how
to coach the.

Speaker 4 (43:39):
Through the episode so that they don't get into an
OCD spin out and you know, kind of go about
it the wrong way, because there is a wrong way
to go about it, Like you don't give the person reassurance,
you just give them here, So here would be another tip.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
You empathize with them, you validate, and you give them confidence.
That they can get through it.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
So let's say someone who's in a relationship.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
And they ask, you know, do you love me? All right,
so you.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
You, the partner or even you know, that question of
are you cheating on me? When like there's no evidence,
So you, the partner.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
Would say, that's your OCD talking. I understand it's hard,
but you can get through this.

Speaker 4 (44:32):
Yeah, stuff like that, because it's very easy even for
the partner or the parent to get.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
Hooked into those questions. And you'll here's the other like
telltale sign.

Speaker 4 (44:44):
You'll notice that the OCD thoughts they start as what
if or maybe questions, Yeah, so what if this?

Speaker 2 (44:53):
What if that?

Speaker 4 (44:55):
And they tend to like repeat themselves. So OCD is
always looking for a loophole. And that's where like, if
you are that person on the other side who is
receiving the questions, you probably feel like it's one hundred
question trivia every day around around the same issue, and

(45:18):
you're like, I've already answered that.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
You know, But the OCD person is looking for the loophole.
They're like, oh, they said it different yesterday, so that
must mean this.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Yeah, then the keys leading to an endless cycle and infinity. Yeah,
I could see that. I mean, it does happen a
lot of times too. You know, it's perceived in so
many different ways. But you know not if you get
irritated by it too. It's just like at least you're
teaching them how to respond to these things, like okay,
let's cut this off before this becomes a problem, because
a lot of times when they start getting questioned, people
start getting defensive, especially when you say, oh, are you cheating?

(45:52):
I mean they're like, what, you know, what makes you
think that I'm doing this? You know I don't have
you know, right, And they start going to question it themselves,
like you know you're gonna accuse then then what is
the excuse?

Speaker 4 (46:02):
Come?

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Oh, well you accuse me? So I went ahead and
did it. I'm like, yeah, that's not an excuse to
go do that kind of thing. Sorry, but we're not
little kids. We don't. We don't. You can't use the
kid kid mentality and that one. Look, oh I just
did it just because you know you told me I
kept doing it. Yet that doesn't work like that, unfortunately.

Speaker 4 (46:18):
Right, very true, And think about how many relationships could
be contained and saved if they knew how to respond
to that question.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
Yeah, yeah, I had a person who.

Speaker 4 (46:34):
Was fully in the OCD bubble of assuming that their
spouse had cheated and had already bought a book on forgiveness.

Speaker 3 (46:45):
And the spouse, yeah, the spouse had never cheated. Yeah. See,
like it's a it's a belief disorder.

Speaker 4 (46:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
They they believe, you know, this bad thing to be true.

Speaker 4 (46:55):
That's why they're acting the way they do, you know,
because when you think about it, you you act according
to what you believe is true. But if something were
not true, you can brush it off and move on
with your life.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
But yeah, I think it's a really good point though,
because you're thinking about now we explored OCD a little bit.
You know, everybody always says everything's OCD. Now it's like,
is it really?

Speaker 5 (47:19):
Though?

Speaker 2 (47:19):
Think about what the actual OCD, what it actually means
to be OCD, versus what we think it is, you know,
because normally people are like, oh, yeah, my mom is
always so OCD about things, you know, like because you know,
my mom was like that too. She was really obsessive
about what she does did things. But I don't think
she was OCD. It was just the thing you say,
how to explain her behavior. You know, you're like, oh, yeah,
she's just really OCD about cleaning everything. So you know,

(47:41):
it's like you're cleaning all the corners of the loss
and everything else. So I mean, but it's just like
it's It's interesting though, because, like I said, a lot
of people don't. I don't think you really know what
it is. I think everybody just here's what it is.
They get these movies that tell you what they think
it is, you know, and people watching these instead of
actually doing some actual research. I'm looking at these things.
They're like, Okay, well we'll let you know. This TV
show or this movie tell me that this is what

(48:03):
OCD should be, you know, instead of actually looking at
what the actual term means and the things that people
deal with, or how it's how it's presenting to other
people too.

Speaker 4 (48:12):
Yes, and Howie Mendel is a great celebrity spokesperson about it. Now.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
Have you heard his story?

Speaker 2 (48:20):
Yeah? Yeah, how he's an interesting character for sure.

Speaker 4 (48:24):
Yeah. Well, on you know his uh like interviews and stuff.
He talks about how he shaves his head because he
doesn't want germs in his hair, like even though he's
been through treatment. I think he could still use a
lot more work, like, you know, just to grow his

(48:45):
hair out. He has nice curly hair, but he doesn't
grow it long. And he has a separate home for
times when his family is sick. It's he doesn't want
to be around them.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
I mean, I could see it though, you know. It's
it had to be interesting when he came out and
said that though the people, because it's like, well, now
you know, it makes sense though why he did what
he did, Because how he used to have the curly
hair all the time. Because when he did that show
in the nineties, Bobbies World, he had the curly hair
because that was him on the screen. And he did
the voice of the kid too, you know, and then
he did comedy and things, and then all of a

(49:20):
sudden he kind of just kind of trailed off for
a lot of people, and then all of a sudden
he came back and he's he shaved his head bald
when he started doing Dealing, no Dealing things like that too.
And you always wonder like, okay, what's what the complete
when eighty changed, you know, and everybody else to just
think of this, Okay, it's whatever, But really when it
comes out that he's he's OCD. It's like, now it
gets really interesting because then you're like, Okay, then you
start going back and looking for the different behaviors he

(49:41):
would do or people would probably come out and start
telling stories about him, and it all makes sense. It
wouldn't be that he was just weird. It would make
sense now because that's what he was dealing with.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Yes, And.

Speaker 4 (49:53):
The other thing kind of like going back to your example,
like let's say your mom was a very clean person.
You know, people do stereotype that as OCD, but it's
really about the intentions behind it, you know, because is
it like, oh, she's worried that there's asbestos and we're

(50:15):
going to get cancer, or that our home is going
to be rated with like cockroaches if we don't clean,
like very intently kind of thing. Because like there's a
thing on Chloe Kardashian one time I saw where she
was saying that she was so OCD about her pantry organization,

(50:37):
and just the way she described it is like.

Speaker 3 (50:40):
You're not having any distress over this, like this is
just something.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
That you like and you prefer, but this is so
like that's that's a prime example of this is being
misused people miscategory is what it actually is. They just
think because that's what they've always been told that it's
it's this, But it's really not what it is. It's
it's something else, you know. And I think it's interesting though,
once you find out what it really is, then it's like, Okay,
well I never knew that's what it was until now.

Speaker 4 (51:06):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
H yeah.

Speaker 4 (51:08):
I think about all these women who feel insecure in
relationships or are told that they're insecure.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
It's really relationship of CD.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
Yeah, that's true. That's a good question though, I mean
because a lot of people don't. Like I said, we
we just covered people don't really know what it is.
But then when you break it down, there's different types
of CD and stuff like that, and it's always mispresented
something else where somebody's like, oh, they're overreacting or they're
you know, oh you're being crazy, or you're doing this,
you're doing that. It may not be the case. It
may just be that's something they're dealing with, you know.

Speaker 4 (51:41):
Yes, and all those times when people talk about their
exes or you think back and people will say, oh,
they were so obsessive they were or even possessive like they.

Speaker 2 (51:53):
Were crazy psychotic anyways, you know, yes.

Speaker 4 (51:58):
Well, and then you know, even in like your own relationships,
how you're like feeling like you're too much. Yeah, you know,
I think we all do that because we care about
our relationships very deeply and they see a lot to us.
And so what I do for women, like, for example,

(52:21):
there was this person you know, I can't share because
of confidentiality.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
Like all their parts and pieces, but.

Speaker 4 (52:30):
They were feeling very very like distraught if their significant
other had like a different like a flat facial expression,
if they look like they're not having a good time
all right, And then there was the concern of like
what if we're not compatible because they were recently engaged,

(52:52):
and as soon as like the relationship went to that
next level, the OCD thoughts were unmanageable. Yes, so she
found me on YouTube, which is great love YouTube for that,
we worked together and within a few months she got
past all of that because what we did was we're

(53:13):
looking at the evidence. Okay, so is there any evidence
he's not having a good time? Is there any evidence
that you're not gonna be compatible forever? Like no? Yeah, Like,
so once she recognized to look for the evidence, it's
then like, all right, we need to come out of
the OCD bubble and cross the bridge into reality, into

(53:35):
the land of the here and now, because in the.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
Here and now are the facts that keeps you from
going down all those rabbit hole spirals.

Speaker 4 (53:46):
So because of that, she was able to maintain her
engagement and walk down the aisle. So it was so
beautiful seeing her go from a place of like, I
don't know that we're gonna make it too.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
I can't imagine my life was out.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Yeah. Yeah, Well, as we get really start wrapping up,
I have to ask you a couple of questions. Okay,
at this part of the show, I've been asking people
the same questions. Okay, So the first one is for
you is if your mental had a song, what would
that song be? Oh?

Speaker 3 (54:19):
Goodness, I don't know, Pete Man should have been more prepared.
What do you think, Oh god, what would be a
good song?

Speaker 2 (54:30):
Whatever song comes to mind?

Speaker 4 (54:31):
First? For you, go for it.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
What is the first song you think of when that?
Questions asked you? Because I'll get some very interesting responses
to it. Oh god, I got what is it?

Speaker 3 (54:39):
One?

Speaker 2 (54:40):
What Susan Snow told me Rage against the Machine was hers,
and she said I would make fun of her for
that one. I was like, no, no, no, I like
Rage against the Machine. I had a woman who was
from the Middle Easter Or she came over. She was
talking about what did she say? She said, Michael Jackson. Yeah,
she said Michael Jackson's beat. It was hers. So you
get it's any kind of response. It's like, if you

(55:00):
could just give it any kind of category. The first
song you think of that comes.

Speaker 4 (55:03):
To mind, Oh, man, I don't really not good with songs,
but probably I mean I like any country song. Oh
you know, what's that song with Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton.
I'll Be Your Honeybee.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
I think that's what it's called. I know I've heard it.
My wife is some a lot more country than I do.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
Yeah. Yeah, I like it cause it's like you're that reliable,
dependable person. Yeah yeah, even though they didn't make it
in their marriage, but still I like the song.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
So my next question for you before we start wrapping up,
is that if you could break the stigma about mental
anything that you see that comes in and you're just like, Okay,
I'm tired of this, let's let's get it out. There. Now,
what would it be.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
I think as we were talking about the beginning of
the show, check your sources.

Speaker 3 (55:58):
Yeah, like, just be very.

Speaker 4 (56:04):
Diligent and smart about where you consume information because we're
very impressionable people and it can be dangerous if you
consume the wrong information.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
I couldn't see any bit of myself. Think that's a
great point. Well, Aaron Davis, thank you so much for
coming in. Did you want to let me know where
they can find you. What's the best way to reach
out to you if they'd like to.

Speaker 4 (56:31):
Yes, you can find me on Instagram and TikTok at
Aaron Davis Coaching. I'm on YouTube at Aaron Davis YouTube.
I've got a lot of popular resources on a landing
page which you can find at Livebeyonddoubt, dot com, slash link,
dash Tree.

Speaker 2 (56:50):
Awesome, guys, and I'll have everything down in the world
the video for you too, and if you're listening on
the audio site, it's all going to be down there
as well for you to just check the description things
like that. Well, thank you so much for coming in.
This is a great conversation. I enjoyed having you today,
you know, and you know I would guys, check out
our podcasts, like, go check it out. You know it's
it's out there. How often do you drop your episodes?

Speaker 4 (57:09):
Oh, every week, every Tuesday, and it's Bossing Up Overcoming
OCD and it's on all the platforms.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
There we go, guys. She's on everything, and I'm Pete
for sonxiety. I'm everything down from X down to TikTok,
I'm on Spotify, Owe it down that heart Radio And
as always say, it costs nothing, absolutely not to be kind.
Somebody one kind acting Duke do could save smikee for hell,
you can make their day. I'm Pete for as anxiety,
saying now saying hey, don't ask your days, they say, hey,
how's your about to health today