The host of sh!t that goes in are heads -Gretchen Schoser

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, guys, it's Pete for Beef Anxiety here. Welcome in
today's episode. I appreciate all being here so much. Let's
talk about a few things real quick. The P for
Anxiety Team anxiety Facebook group. Are you a part of it?

Speaker 2 (00:14):
You're not?

Speaker 1 (00:15):
What are you waiting for? The leaks out here in
the description now below, or go to Facebook and search
pe for anxiety, then look for the team Anxiety team
page and joining today. Why not you can join the
help it'll be great, Like right now, hurry up, stop
it doing paused video?

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Go do around.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
But anyways, let's also talk about the P for so
anxiety YouTube page. You guys, if you're here right now,
you're probably following it most likely. If not, head on
over there subscribe. Do sure I don't like in comment
on the videos and let me know because all that
stuff really helps. Guys, are really appreciated and help me
break the stigma that mental health is talked about enough.
But anyways, guys, let's get in today's episode. Oh I
have a great one. Thank you so much again, and

(00:50):
as always, say, don't ask your day is asking your
mental health is today.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Guys, Welcome to the exciting episode of Pete for Anxiety
Guys Today, is the co host of the ward wind
eating shit Goat that goes On in My Head podcasts.
Mental Health Podcast is a dedicated advocate for the nine
eight eight suicide crisis, on suicide and crisis hotline as
suicide attempter survivor. Please welcome the one the only gretching?
Is it?

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Is it?

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Shooeser? Is that how you say it?

Speaker 3 (01:17):
Close enough? Show, sir, it's got a hard o on it.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Okay, okay, Well, well, thank you so much being here, guys. Sorry,
we're so like, get in live here guys. We are
having a little tech yousues both. She's here anyways, tell
us a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
Well, thank you so much, Pete. I am so honored
to be here on your show, and like, this is
such a great avenue for us to help, you know,
destigmatize mental health. So our podcast came about because my
own mental health struggles. So on Christmas Day twenty twenty two,
I attempted suicide. Thank God for that little glimmer of

(01:51):
hope that things were gonna get better. I ended up
calling nine eight eight. I'm alive today because of nine
eight eight, and I took all my pain and hurt
and turned it into purpose. We created a podcast that's
called Shit that goes On in our Heads, and we

(02:11):
didn't think anybody would listen to us, right, We're like, yeah,
we're gonna get three episodes in nobody's gonna listen to
us or fools. You know. Then come September of twenty
twenty four and we won two awards for the podcast,
and we've hit just a little bit over a million downloads.
And you know, part of my healing journey was sharing

(02:32):
about my own journey. The day after Christmas, I went
out out on social media and I let people know
what was going on. I'm an extrovert also an impath,
and I hid my depression really well. Not a badge
of honor. So like, if you're an extrovert and you're
hiding your pain because of shame or because you can't
find your voice, don't do it because alls it does

(02:54):
ends up hurting you in the end, and it doesn't
give people the chance to help you out. Like one
conversation could probably change your life.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, you know that's great. You say that though, too,
because I was talking to something about that last night.
Actually this morning, I was on TikTok and there's a
guy named Daddy Clinton runs his lives where he's heels
it's a no sleep zone, and he was talking about that.
I was telling him. I was like, listen, man, you
just having people come here sharing their stories or sharing
anything with you and they're talking about it is the
best thing you could ever get them to do. Because
if they're talking to you, that means it means a lot, though,

(03:25):
and it makes a major difference. So when it comes
to people's state of mind, like that too, because they
feel like they're being heard at that point. Now, if
you were to shut them down, okay, it may not
go so well right afterwards. And I suggest anybody that
when that happens, if somebody's reaching out talking like that,
or they're saying take them serious, don't don't. Don't brush
it off and be like, oh yeah, okay, whatever, it's
it's serious. If they're talking to you, they're asking for

(03:46):
help in their own way. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
And there's a great Simon Senek club clip out there
on YouTube. It's called eight minutes. Listen, we all have
eight minutes for somebody. So if somebody's reaching out to
you and the really needs help. Maybe they don't need
your feedback, maybe they just need an ear. You don't
give them that eight minutes just to vent. And if
you know somebody that's really struggling, and if you're here

(04:12):
in the US or in Canada, call the nine eighty eight.
It's not just for suicide ideation, it's for any type
of crisis. It's free, it's anonymous, and they literally save
lives every day. They saved my life and I, like
I said, I am so happy to be alive today
because I took all that really horrible pain and it
turned it into a beautiful purpose. And you know you

(04:35):
said something Pete that really it makes my heart smile. Right,
every time we share our story, we unlock somebody else's prison,
and that way people don't feel they feel seen and heard,
and they don't feel so terrified in their own journey
because they know that somebody else is going through the
same type of thing.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
No, you're right, you know, And that's the great thing
with the show is people sharing their or these other
people such as yourself coming on you know, as much
as you got going on, and things like that's it
even shows that hey, no matter what you got going on,
everybody has something they're not telling people about, you know.
And I think that was an interesting point one of
my guys had made before, is that she had reached
out to somebody and they shut her down. And I

(05:17):
was like, oh, yeah, see, there's the problem is that
that one person said, oh, hey, call me if you
need something. She called them, and then they go, oh, well,
I'm too busy to do with your problems right now
I have my own. And I'm just like, oh no, no,
come on, guys, we got to do better than that.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, we all need to do better. And you know,
you know as well as I do. Like the world's
on fire right now, yeah, literally on fire, and people
are reaching out scrambling for resources, like resources that we
would typically give on any given episode two years ago,
some of those resources aren't available now. Yeah, And you know,

(05:52):
if you if you find a resource that can hang
on to it, your all might change where you know, destination,
whoever's publishing, that might change. But use solocial resources and like,
don't shut people down. People, listen, we all got something
going on, every single one of us, whether it's a
mental health issue or a work issue or whatever. Like

(06:16):
eight minutes, like you don't have to give any advice.
Just listen to them. And if you if you offer
up for somebody to call you if they're in crisis,
take the time to answer that phone call. Yeah, probably
just save their life exactly.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
See, that's the same thing I tell people too, because
it's like, you know, they don't realize how much is happening,
because if they're at least talking to you about it,
you've already won the battle right there, because when you
look at the statistics, men don't normally call and talk
to you about it. They'll just commit suicide versus women
who'll talk to you about it but haven't committed as much.
And the thing is that is that it doesn't matter
this side you're going with. It's just like you just said,

(06:53):
someone calls you and is telling you something, just listen,
doesn't cost anything. They're not asking you to be an expert.
They're asking you to be that friend you told them
to call, like, hey, listen, reach out if you need something.
Because I'm tired of people that when it happens, they go, oh, well,
they should reach out to you. Then you find out
that they reach out to them, and they go, oh well, yeah,
they brush them off. Basically, it's like, come on, now,
you can't do that to people, say hey, listen, I'll

(07:14):
listen if you want to call and talk to me
about it, and then you don't listen to what they're saying,
because you know that's the worst thing you could do,
possibly oh.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
One thousand percent. Like you know, it took a lot
for me to call nine eight eight number one. At
the time it happened, I was fifty nine and a half,
and I, you know, I'd grown up in a generation where,
you know, we don't talk about our mental health. We
like shove that down until it can't go anyplace else.

(07:42):
But at the time that everything was going on, I
didn't quite understand what was going on in my head,
and I was terrified. Like Pete, when I tell you,
nobody knew how depressed I was. Nobody my wife didn't know,
my coworkers didn't know, my friends didn't know. Nobody knew
I Like, as extroverts, we mask up really well, like

(08:04):
just don't okay, Like I can tell you somebody in
two years into my healing journey, like I hurt myself
more than I helped myself. But in my defense, like
I didn't understand what was going on inside my head.
I don't want to put up any Christmas decorations. I
didn't want to do anything, and I did things that

(08:24):
were totally out of character for me. And you know,
if you see somebody like totally getting withdrawn or they're
I've kind of just checked out, just check in on them,
right like, and make sure if as they're extroverted, you
give them a question that they have to answer back.
Because my tip of what response was, Hey, yeah, I'm

(08:46):
living a dream, but in reality, like I just wanted
to be done. I was like I just wanted to
die inside my head. But you know, being an extrovert
and being an EmPATH, I took on every buddy's pain.
And then the problem is that I don't take care
of myself. I know how to take care of myself
now and like you know it, like boundaries are life saving.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Right exactly, and I think a lot of people don't
do those, especially in social media like TikTok's the worst
any of that, all man, All when people saying you
those live requests, oh, we'll come visit my life, come
visit my live, and then you feeling obligated. It's like no, man,
such your boundaries to tell people, listen, hey, after this time,
Like I tell people after five o'clock, don't expect to
get a hold of me much unless it's an absolute emergency,
because I am plugged from that point on. Like I

(09:30):
don't look at my phone much. I'll look at it
maybe if something important comes in here and there, but
other than that, I'm usually not looking at my phone
at all. And it's my wife said recently, it weirds
her out when I don't do that. I'm like, well,
I'm trying to unplug for myself, and not only because
you come home, because when she gets home, that's me
and her time until I go to work because I
work third shifts, so I'm up all nights most nights,
and I come record this show and then I take

(09:50):
a nap afterwards, you know, and then when she gets home,
I focus time on her, you know. And it's hard
for people and plug because it's addictive. Man. You get
all these people want you to come visit them and
thing like that. It's like like, you listen, you can
invite all you want, but don't expect me to be there.
And a lot of people I've found some don't understand that.
They're just like, oh, well, you're not going to be there. No,
I've already told you after five o'clock is my time.

(10:11):
These are the boundaries I'm setting. You like them, I
don't care if you like them personally. It's what I've
chosen to do. And you know, and it's it's strange
to people when I tell them that, but I'm like, listen,
it's the first thing man. And then self care also
is not really done much either. People don't realize it's like, listen,
sometimes you just got to step away and worry about you. Man.
You can be as selfish as you want, because at
the end of the day, you got to worry about yourself. Man,

(10:33):
some of these people aren't worried about you. Your real
friends will be there when you come back, or they'll
call them check in on You're like, hey, listen, are
you're doing okay? Things like that, you know, that's your
real friends. That's how you destermin who's who you know?
And things like that too. And I don't think people
realize it's those small little things that we can do.
You don't have to be a professional man to be
a good friend. You just got to just ask them, Hey, listen,

(10:53):
you doing it? And you know, to your thing about
asking questions, I always ask people, hey, how's your mental health?
You know, because think about it. If I said, hey, Gretchen,
how are you, you can answer with, oh, I'm just
doing fine. Or someone were to answer that letter say hey,
how's your mental health? You have to think about what
I'm saying to you now, because now you're like, wait
a minute, what did he just say to me? And
you have to ask you to think of a response
to that.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
And you know what's really sad is in like today's society,
people still have a hard time mentioning the word mental health. Right,
It's not a bad word. It's not nowhere is suicide
or bipolar or anxiety. Listen, we all have messy heads,
every single one of us. And just like, show up,

(11:38):
show up for your show up for your coworkers, show
for your friends, show for your family. Like show up.
And if you're if you say you're going to show
up for a friend, honestly show up. Yeah, don't don't
brush us off, right, That's that's like the biggest slap
in the face. And you know, just being time kindness

(12:00):
goes a really long way, especially in the firestorm that
we're having right now, because you know, people don't just
have like their day to day work stress, but they
have a ton of external factors coming in and they
may have been like the happiest person in the world
and then all of a sudden they're shutting down. Those

(12:21):
are the people you really want to latch onto and like,
don't make it weird and gross, you know, but like,
you know, just ask them how they're doing it. Like
a simple conversation goes a long way.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, it does, it really does. You know, you're being
married and I'm married. We both understand that too. Just
having a conversation with your partner helps. Like I had
a situation where me and my wife had to have
a hard conversation. Now things are a lot different, and
it was good to get all out there. It was
a rough conversation, but it's a conversation I had to have.
You know a lot of times it's it's rough when
you come to talk about your feelings of things. You know,

(12:54):
I shared minds, she shared hers, and and you know,
things like that, and it's great and you can have
that communication, you know, because you guys should talk about anything.
You know, and I think that's a lot of times,
like you said, just just have a conversation, and people don't.
Like I said, suicide really worries people. Because I had
a guy on the show by the name Brian. Brian's
a really good friend of mine I had made through
the show. He's doing great things. But Brian had talked

(13:16):
about his own suicide ideation. He talked about stually that morning.
He had considered it right before we started recording. Like now,
when Mike and we've met, me and him linked up,
you could tell something was bothering him at first, and
then he started mentioning wife Foss my friend of suicide
a few months ago, and there it was. It was
just the unlocking phase of that, and he said, hey, Pete,
can I say something? I believe that's when he started
going in. He talked about it at one point and

(13:37):
then he circled back to it. I had about fifteen
people after that recording going well listen, is he okay?
I'm like, yeah, I just heard fromim. What do you mean?
I mean. It was a wild moment, but it's a
real conversation that had to be had, you know, Like
he was out here live sharing this with people to
see you. Now, anybody can see this show, you know,
because we're on YouTube and everything else, and they can
hear Brian saying it. But what Brian was doing was

(13:57):
something powerful because he's talking about what his thought where
Hey Pete this morning, and he went a great description.
There was no detail spirit at all, and I thought
it was amazing that he took the time to do
it right here with me, because I was at first
a little panic because I was like, oh, man, what
is he going to say next? But at the same
time I realized what was going on, you know, until
he started talking more about it, and I was like, man,

(14:19):
that was a powerful movement. Fifteen people that don't know
him are already asking, hey, listen, is he okay. I'm like, yeah,
I heard from him already. He messaged me back. It
was like in some of the show clips I have
on your Instagram and things like that. He was like,
it was really powerful for him to start having that conversation.
But it's scared the hell of a lot of people.
And I don't know why, because at least he's talking
to us, you know, because he was telling us what

(14:39):
was going on in his head.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
And you know that that kind of leads me to
the other little project I'm working on. You know, we
laughed about this earlier about my my plate is very
full right now. So a couple of months ago, I
launched another podcast with a friend of mine, and it's
called The Survivor's Podcast. It's all about suicide awareness. I'm
not sure if you were your listeners. No, but since

(15:03):
January twentieth, the suicide attempt and full on suicide rates
have gone up over twenty five percent, and the Crisis
Hotlines their call volume has gone up over seven hundred percent.
So no matter if you're in a big city, you're
in a suburb, you're alone, or you're in rural America,

(15:24):
call ninet eighty eight. It is free, it is anonymous.
You are not alone. You were wanted, you were loved,
and you know, if you can't find your voice, like
in my case, you know, the nine eight eight woman
that I spoke with help me find a voice. She
helped me find my footing, She gave up, she gave

(15:45):
a meaning to what was going on in my head
because like I couldn't even talk to my wife, like
I couldn't tell anybody what was going on. Because I
didn't understand. But after that phone call, I talked to
my wife for over three hours and it's probably the
most I'd ever cried. Yeah, even more than when my
mom had passed away. That was pretty traumatic. But like

(16:06):
I had a lot of stuff going on in that
the last quarter of twenty twenty two. It was a
lot for me to handle. It would probably be a
lot for a lot of people to handle. But I'm
also an enpath, so I took on everybody else's crap
me too, and did not take care of myself. Right,
Like you were talking about self care and stuff love. Yeah,
they may seem like buzzwords, but they're not. If you

(16:29):
are not taking care of yourself, there is no way
you can take care of anybody else. No way.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
No, that's one hundred percent true. And hats off to
your wife for a three hour long conversation. That had
to be hard on her too to hear all the
thoughts you had and things like that just coming out
for her to tear it all man. Hats off to her, man,
because she had to take on a lot that you
were given out though. But you know that that's a
real woman there, that's a real partner for you, man,
the one that can sit there and handle those conversations

(16:55):
with you. They could be real Listen, hats off to
her one hundred percent man, because it's crazy and the
number going up is just that's why this conversation needs
to happen more. You know, it's it's insane, it really is.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
Well especially right right now, like right now is mental
uh May is mental health Awareness month, right, but we
should be practicing like checking in our mental health every
single day every day. Like for me, mine includes like journaling,
you know, doing my podcast is super healing for me.
You know, random acts of kindness when I go to

(17:30):
the store now, when I see the person's name tag
on I address them by their name tag. You may
be the nicest person that they've run into you all day,
right though, All those kinds of things help help you,
They help inside your help your head, They give you
a little joy and are.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
You even making their day too? Remember now you know
you may engining by name like you said that one
kind of act the kindness could save someone's life.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
Yeah, Like, don't be rude to them. Okay, they're human.
Everybody's human, right, They all make mistakes, We all have
bad days. But you will never truly understand what somebody's
going through by just looking at them. Right, there's so
many hidden mental illnesses PTSD, you know, schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety,

(18:24):
the whole nine yards, right, Like, just be nice. That's
my two things like right now is checking on your
extroverted friends and be nicer to people.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah, no, I agree, because like I've had a situation
where I could read the guy's body language a little
bit and I could send something wrong. So I say, hey, Ma,
how you doing today? And he just unloaded, like and
I was just like. What he told me was that
he saw his friend get It was in a shooting incident.
His friend got shot to death and he was sitting
a card length ahead of him, so they were outside
his billiye hauldkay. And his name is Chris. Chris had

(18:56):
told me this story. And mind, you have seen this
guy a thousand times where I work. I we're gonna
get station, so I see people come in all the time.
I don't know a lot of people I name, just
because it's just like you know, we don't exchange James
a lot of times. But when I get a chance
to know the name, you better believe I'm using their
name every time I see him. But Chris had come
up to me and I noticed him. Is wrong to say, Chris, man,
how you doing? It's like, can I really tell you? Pete.
I'm like, yeah, go ahead, man, what's up? Talk to me?

(19:17):
And he looked like he had something really wanted to say.
So then you shared the whole incident of his friend
getting shot. He was the one calling nine to one
one looking at his friend's licensed body, going I don't
know if he's gonna make it or not. Unfortunately he
lost him on December eighteenth. I did a nice little
video package for him that Monday. The episode as soon
as I found out about it the day of the
funeral for Chris's friend, and Chris had seen it and

(19:37):
was so ecstatic about it. He was like, oh my god,
thank you so much. You didn't have to do it.
I'm like, you're right, I didn't have to do it, Chris.
I did it because it needed to be said, because
Chris told me something very interesting. He said, since the
incident happened, till the time I asked him, no one
asked him how he was doing. They knew he was
struggling and he's having problems, but no one in his
inner circle ever asked him the question of like, hey, Chris,

(19:58):
how are you doing. It's scary, like, how could no
one ask this poor guy what's going on? You can
clearly see he's struggling. You know. I'm an impact too,
So now I can I have this uncanny ability I can.
I could read people's emotions a lot of times and
see something's wrong, and usually that's how I generate the
conversation a lot of people. And I've been told some
wild things over the years. I had a guy come
in tell me his kid it was dead. He lost

(20:19):
this kid a few minutes ago after walking in the store,
and he's like, Oh, do you really care? You want
to I'm like, yeah, man, I got to talk to me.
What's up? And you know, that's what gave me the
idea to start this podcast, because I had another podcast before.
We were just messing around doing some stuff, you know,
and then I had to read really rethink about it
because a lot of things are coming up that I
didn't like. So it's like, all right, let's reset it.
And then one day it just hit me, like the

(20:40):
apple falling out of the tree man it's just like
pete versus anxiety. You know, why not? Where are we
talking about mental health? And I was looking up some
podcasts and things and a lot of our doctors, but
I'm like, where's it just a real general conversation. So
you know, it's like one average man versus his anxiety,
and I'm beating other people that have other things. And
you know, ever since I started this show, it's like

(21:01):
an evolution of who I am, because I went from
just like this quiet individual, felt like I'm not being
heard much. Now like everybody's talking about me, have people
on the podcast talking about me, other people mentioning my name,
you know, and things like that. It's it's just to me.
It's it's still weird to me because I'm like, damn,
they're talking about me. I mean, all I'm doing is
having a conversation with people, and it's making that powerful

(21:22):
of a movement and it's great and I love it.
And I'm still trying to get to the stardom of
the people saying my name on a podcast episode. I
literally fell over girl. I was like, oh man, I'm like,
are they're talking about me? Oh God?

Speaker 3 (21:34):
I can totally relate to that. Because you know, my
wife is all the time, she's like your Internet famous.
I'm like, shut up, I am not okay. But you know,
like the conversations that like you and I have or
like what dirty Skittles and I have? You know, they
are real, authentic conversations. We are real people going through

(21:55):
these these issues. We're not doctors, Like we are so
not clinical, you're anti clinical. But I think that like
having conversations like this was like you and I or
you know, maybe Joe down the street, sharing our stories
helps other people unlock their doors so they don't feel

(22:15):
so terrified and alone in their own journeys. And I'm
finding more, like over the last I'm gonna say two years,
that men have really started to open up about their
mental health because there should be absolutely no shame for
you going through whatever you're going through, nic and like
opening your mouth and like letting people in. It's a

(22:38):
lot easier to say now because I was horrible at
it in twenty twenty two. Yeah, like apparently now, I
you know, I couldn't find my voice before and now
I can't shut up. But you know, I'm okay with
that because I'm getting a message out there, like I
want people to see me as a story of hope
because I took all that really bad stuff and turn

(23:00):
it into purpose. Right. You know, we've had over about
one hundred and twenty episodes now, and then I started
sharing my own story because you know, my co hosts
and several other people are like, people need to hear
your story, like what you went through. And so I've
now started doing a ton of podcast interviews and then

(23:21):
in just a share in January twenty second, I open
up my own business. I quit Corporate America after forty
five years. I'm like, deuces, I'm done. This is not
good for my mental health. And I get to work
with customers and do the things that I want to
do on my own terms. So like part of my
self love and self care right now is I'm taking

(23:43):
every Monday off until it gets cold again.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah. No, that's awesome though. I mean, you're worried about yourself.
You're doing your own thing. And it's funny you say
it because a friend of mine that actually is probably
watching now, she goes by sprite. Okay, I know her
real name. I don't give out her government name just
because she goes by sprites Sprite had I said the
same thing to me one day. She said to me, Pete,
people need to know your story. So I am, I'm
going to record an episode of mine and just go

(24:08):
complete nitty gritty with people. Now. It's gonna be interesting
how people respond because there's a lot of things I
don't tell people, Like I go and do interviews and
I don't get really deep into it because I'm like,
if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it from
beginning to end, tell you all the nitty diarity details,
all the things I've done that I you know, I
have to deal with that I've done, you know, like
I account for everything, and you know, from where I've

(24:29):
been from where I'm now, it's been a major difference.
So like, you know, now, I feel like it's gonna
it's gonna happen one of these times. You know, I'm
gonna end up recording it. I keep saying I'm gonna
do it, but it's gonna change a lot of perceptions.
But I mean, it is what it is. You know,
rather people know the full story, Pete, Like what got
me to where I'm at now because a lot of
weird stuff has happened a lot of things I've done,

(24:49):
you know, and you know, I dealt with the narcissist
for fifteen years and it was you know, there's a
lot more to that story. There's things I did that
that work that great either, And I think it's just
gonna feel great. Get it off my chest to tell
people what it is, because I don't tell a lot
of people about it because I don't know how they're
going to perceive it. But at this point, I'm just
kind of like whatever, I'm just gonna throw it out
there and just let people see the real really what happened.

(25:10):
And then just like after that, I was going to
leave it right there for them to view because at
this point, you know, it is what it is. It happened.
I can't change the pass, but I can only take
accountability for what I've done for sure.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
And like just for your listeners, like I'll give you guys,
like the reader's digest version of what happened, because there
may be other people out there that the kind of
what happened with me. So the last quarter twenty twenty two,
you know, a lot of there were some good stuff
and a whole lot of bad stuff. You know, at

(25:40):
the time I was fifteen nine and a half. I
got offered an early retirement from my job, which was
perfect because, like the week before, I'd been praying to
win the lottery. But then, you know, I started thinking
after that, you know, there's a lot of there's still
a lot of agism out there in the workforce. So
for me to find a job and you know, be
able to keep up my boogie lifestyle because you know what, Yes,

(26:01):
I do have a Mac and I have my iPhone,
and you know, I like to do fun things. And then,
like a week after that happened, my wife ended up
getting shingles. And if you've ever met anybody that got shingles,
there's absolutely nothing, like nothing you can do to help
them or make them feel better. And so while she

(26:22):
was healing, I hit and killed a deer, which was
horrifying to me because I've never hit and killed an
animal before. I ended up getting catfished and the FBI
got involved. Thankfully, I woke up like my brain kind
of came out of its spot for a little bit,
just enough so that like I didn't spend any money.
But then a really good friend of ours passed away unexpectedly,

(26:44):
my father in law passed away two days before Thanksgiving,
you know, throwing some seasonal depression, some holiday depression. And
then like a couple of weeks before my attempt, we
were in New York City and like I did some
things that are totally out of character for me. I
got super drunk, I lost my phone in a uber.

(27:06):
I broke my nose in the hall in the hotel
room when I bent over, like my face my face
planted into the window, like all things that like people
should have honed in on, but they didn't. You know,
nobody there, nobody's trained in how to help them help
somebody that's going through a mental health crisis. Right, they
see things that face value. And it was all all

(27:28):
of that all compacted into a really short time frame.
And then like at work, they had taken away all
my duties because they knew I was retiring after the
first of the year, and so like my my sense
of worth went away, like I was in path to
death because I've I had taken on everybody else's pain,

(27:49):
right and trying to help them. And then you know,
after I called nine need eight and I got a
therapy appointment. Like one of the first things my therapists
taught me was boundaries, Like I hadn't set up boundaries,
and like as an impath, like how to put my
shield up right. So now like I have this imaginary
black box and if it smells like drama, like I

(28:12):
gotta really think hard about bringing that drama in yep.
And I've lost some friends because of this, right because
now I use know a lot more often than I
did in the past. Like I protect my mental health
more than I than anything else in this world, and
I'm happier for it. And I was able to find

(28:35):
the things that brought me joy, like my podcast brings
me joy. For Dirty Skittles an, it's like free therapy.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
Did you say dirty Skittles As a person, they love
that names.

Speaker 3 (28:45):
Ye, so our our stage names are dirty Skittles, And
I'm g Rex.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
I love it. That's so awesome. I love that name.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
And and like I said, we when we started the podcast,
it was all based off of me sharing my story.
So I shared my story the day after on social
media and I had about two hundred people reach out
to me and thank me. You know, I have thousands
of friends. Nobody, like I said, nobody knew how depressed
I was, and then you know, every day before work,

(29:17):
Dirty Skittles and I would call each other and I'm
going to use this term super loosely because I retired
in April. We would call each other and laugh about
the most irreverent things ever. But here's the thing about laughter, right, Like,
we can laugh with our mental health. Laughter releases all
that courts all get your serotonin going, get your endorphins going,

(29:39):
and it can really help change the trajectory of the day.
So I was during one of those conversations, She's like, hey,
let's do a podcast. I'm like, okay, let's do a podcast.
And like I said, we thought we would do three episodes.
We're up to season eleven now, and just really really
really love what we're doing. You know, all our guests

(30:01):
have reached out and said thank you because we make
it it when you come on the podcast with us,
or if you just listen, it's like sitting around the
fire just shooting the shit with friends. Either make you
laugh or cry or whatever. But it's super healing. It's
healing for me, it's healing for Dirty Skittles. And you know,

(30:21):
I'm sure that you've had the same thing, like a
lot of people are afraid to talk to somebody face
to face about what they're going through, but you put
them in front of a microphone and like they can
go for days. It's super cathartic for people. And you know,
for me, like I'm writing a book. I was almost
done and then I quit my job, but I wanted
to like have that section in my book, and you

(30:44):
know in the book, you know, I found it to
be very catharic when I was writing about everything that
had happened, and I learned a bunch of stuff about myself.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
Yeah, you know that's awesome. Though I thought about writing
a book too, doing a memoir about my own story
and things like that too. I'm up in conversation several
times and like I said, my good friend told me
about the same thing. She was like, you know, you
should have people want to hear your story. And I'm
just like, yeah, I know, I'll get around it one day.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
You know.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
It's procrastinated a lot when it came to that kind
of thing, because it was just like, you know, I
didn't think I was comfortable enough. When I think after
doing about one hundred episodes of this which we we
not this pass the money before was actually one one
hundred episode live we done. The show hasn't even been
a year long yet, and I've already had one hundred
episodes posted live, and I've thought about it. I'm like,
you know what, I think it's time to just start

(31:33):
sharing it, just like you did. You know, just go
for it and just leave it out there and see
what people say, because at this point, I honestly don't
even care what the comments are. You can hate it,
you can love it. It's just what happened. You know,
you'll deal with it either way. I'm sorry, I don't
know what to tell you. Sorry, not sorry, Reese's as
they like to say, you know, I don't.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
Know to tell you. I you know, our goal, really
like our mission has always been to destigmatize how we
you know, talk about mental health. Yeah, and you know,
there's nothing taboo about it, and I, you know, I
want people to know that there's so many resources out there,
Like if you're not comfortable listening to a podcast, pick

(32:10):
up the phone, text call nine eight eight. There's also
like another Crisis another place I send people, like if
they're in a crisis and they're not really comfortable with
calling nine eight eight. You can go out to the
help hub dot co and it breaks it down by
categories like whatever you're dealing with, and list out all

(32:30):
the crisis numbers across the world, and you know, just
make sure you're taking care of yourself. Like, like I said,
the world needs you and like in some cases, like
what you're feeling today, you may not feel tomorrow, But
give yourself a chance, give the world a chance, you know,
give your friends a chance to help you out.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Yeah. I think that's the hardest part, is people giving
someone a chance or being honest or opening up about it.
I think you find a lot of your real friends
will show through real quick, you know, the ones that
are there to listen to you and things like that,
and then the people that don't want to be there
won't be there. Then that's that's their choice. Don't let
that affect you because if they didn't want to be
there in the first place, and that's fine, then that's
less less people you need to deal with. You know, honestly,

(33:16):
if they were your real friend, they'd listen to what
you have to say. And I have a good friend
that did it for me. He did that when I
was going through a lot and he was the one
that pointed out the whole thing when I was dealing
with narcissists. He was like, hey, man, you need to
realize what's going on right now. He said, something's not
He's like, something's not right. You know, she's cheating. And
he was pointing out all the things. He's like, you
already know all these things. He said, look at what's
going on around you. Man. He kept saying it, and

(33:37):
I was like, no, man, no, I had that too
much trust in this person because they they had me
that manipulated to believe that, oh no, they'd never do
these things to me. And then when he started like
listing them off, he's like, look at the things you're
pointing out. He goes, Tell me that doesn't sound weird
to you in some way, he goes, And I'm like, yeah,
you know. And it took that one person to open
my eyes to that what was really going on and

(33:57):
it Me and him have been friends for years, and
it's funny how you've been met. We've been on we've
been online playing video games together. We randomly joined up
with a couple of people that knew each other, and
he was a mutual friend of someone else and ever
since that, and you know, we've hung out, he's come
out here to visit me before. I haven't made it
to California where he's at yet, but I'm planning and
going that way too, you know. And it's like you
never know who you you're gonna meet these days. And

(34:17):
we've been great friends ever since then. Me and me
and my buddy Lewis have known each other. We've been
through a lot of stuff together. Man, Like I could
call him at two o'clock in the morning my time,
and if you would have his time, and he knows
if I'm calling him at that late a time it's
something going on, he's answering, or if he misses the call,
he's calling back on Yo, what's up? What's going on?

Speaker 3 (34:33):
Man?

Speaker 2 (34:34):
You're not calling me for no reason. So it's it's
great when you have that support system of people you
can reach out to when you're in need of things
like that.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
Yeah, community is huge right for me, you know, Like
my I have like three really good friends. My wife,
Dirty Skills and I are like the best of friends.
Like I get to do a podcast with somebody I
just I love to death, and then you know, I
have another friend here locally, and we help each other

(35:04):
out right. We bring out the best and the worst
in each other. But they allow me to be myself
and they understand like what I'm going through and how
I am. I'm just trying, you know, trying to make
it from day one to day two to day three.
So it's, you know, funny that we're talking about this.
In November last year, I got super depressed again. My circumstances.

(35:28):
I had taken on a part time job and my
circumstances at work had really changed. The small consulting firm
I was working for had got picked up by a
big consulting firm, and I was like, I don't want
to do this so again right, Like my entire life,
I compromise, compromise, and compromise, and this time I wasn't
going to compromise. And so I ended up having really

(35:49):
bad resting bitch face. And like, once you get into
resting bitch face mode, it's hard to turn that off, right,
Like people would be like, hey, you need to check
you know, you know, check your face. Listen, this is
what you get, kay, Like there's no changing up. But
this time everybody knew where I stood because I let
people know right away that I was depressed, but that
I had, you know, really good tools for my toolbox

(36:12):
this time to help me make it to that next minute,
next hour, next day.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yeah. Yeah, that's good though. You know, the resting pitchase
makes me laugh because there's a girl I worked with
for a long time. She she'd always have these guys
come and ask her like, oh, he's so sad. Why
are you so mad? I'm like, she's not. She just
doesn't like you, That's what it is. Why I tell
a lot of them because I hear him say something
there and I chime in, I'm like, yeah, well, she
just doesn't like you, that's what it is, or something jokingly,
and she just starts laughing over there, and I'm like, yeah, well,

(36:38):
you know, I said, you know, if people asking the
right because you have resting pitchase. And this other girl
I worked with was like, oh my god, Peter, you
can't tell her that. I'm like, I'm just saying, this
is what they're saying. I'm telling you what they're seeing. Like,
I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just telling you
what they're trying, what they're seeing. And that's why She's
getting a lot of weird attraction from these guys. She's
a very pretty girl, you know. So that was another thing.
So I obviously had to set up a code system

(37:00):
with them. They just shout my name really out and
come over, and I'll handle any weirdos that come, because
you know, in the middle of night, you never know
what kind of strange people you get, you know where
we're at. So and we've had situations where I've had
to tell some people like, hey, listen, you need to chill,
and you're making her feeling comfortable, you know, and things
like that, and I'm I'm always the number one person
to say something, you know. And my boss was telling

(37:21):
somebody one time about it. She was watching the camera
and then I walked in and she goes, why you
just stopped the camera? He said, because you see that
guy right there, and it was me walking in. She goes,
because if something was going on, I guarantee you, without
a without him thinking twice, he'd say something. He has
no problem saying anything to anybody. And it's you know
that it was proceived as I'm the asshole. I'm like,
I'm not the asshole. I'm just being honest. I don't
tolerate people's shit. I just like, I raised three girls

(37:42):
on my own too. They were in their teens and
now they lived their mom, you know, and things like
that too. It's like I don't tolerate that. Like one
phone call is all to take. So the hey, listen, somebody,
somebody's causing some trouble pearre and I'm rolling up, going, yo,
what's the problem you having an issue? Because since I
started to now we don't get that many people in
there acting a fool anymore because they know when I'm there,
I'm not the one tolerating the shit. You got somewhere

(38:02):
else to be. You need to go because they're like,
I'm not going to let it happen, you know. And
it was funny though, dude, you mentioned your podcast because
now one of my co workers knows I I do
a podcast, and she came up to me the other
day and she's told me the situation. She was telling
me the situation what happened, and I was like, She's like,
I know that what you do that you can handle

(38:23):
this conversation we're about to have. And I was like,
oh damn, really okay, cool, And what she told me
was just blow your mind. It's like wow. But you know,
and it was nice because now I have all these
resources of people I met. So Nicole Richardson was on
the show. I'd reached out to her about the situation
and said, hey, Nicole, I know this is random. I
know this is late at night. I'm sorry, but hey,
I got a question for you. I have a friend

(38:44):
and told her about the situation. Now, I asked the
girl beforehand and said, listen, can I ask one of
my contexts? I know, see if I can't find somebody,
I'll help you get to get you to the next
level where you need to be for the situation, And
she said yeah. So I reached out to the cole
and Nicole reached back with some great resources. Was like, yeah, hey, listen,
I commend this person. Here's the contact information. And I
wouldn't have had it had he not done this show,
you know. And ever since doing the show, it's it's

(39:07):
just great because people coming here all the time and say, hey, Pete,
appreciate what you're doing. I'm like, I'm just having a conversation,
but okay, cool, Yeah, I appreciate it, you know, And
it's it's a great feeling.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
Too, it is. And so like I have a couple
of questions for you. If you're mind go ahead, let's go.
So one of the favorite questions we asked on the
podcast now is if your anxiety had a theme song,
what is it?

Speaker 2 (39:28):
Man? And why you ever hear you ever watched the
movie Scott Pilgrim. I can't think of the song the
beginning of Scott Pilgrim. It's like, you know, just like
the complete randomness of it just going everywhere. Yeah, and
why because it's just what it's like for me, Like
my I did gets to my head and it just
starts strumming along like he does in the beginning, and
it's like, all of a sudden, it just starts going
completely chaotic, all of a sudden, like it'll start building

(39:49):
up and start going and start going even faster, you know.
And and if I had to give it a movie name,
I'd give it it'd be Scott Pilgrim, really it would. Because
my head, like in my head, I'm having a war
amongst myself, you know, my brain dos to my anxiety
will start kicking into this thought wal kick in and
then it's like you're playing telephone with yourself. So all
the different people that are all involved in the whole

(40:10):
conversation that he journeys through. It's like you're having all
those people in your head at once have that conversation.
And the other way to describe anxiety too to people
is like it's like the movie Get Out. Like you're
sitting there and it's like when you're in the middle
of a panic attack. You're looking up. You can see reality,
but you can't touch reality because you're so stuck in
place that you can't get there. And it's like you
see it above you. The whole room's black around you.

(40:31):
Nothing else matters because obviously you're in a heightened state
of panic. You're not thinking about anything else around you.
And you know, and it's like when I don't a
lot of times it don't freak out when I want
to have one, I usually just kind of get really
key to myself and I'll start getting really worked up
and I'll walk away just to kind of like if
I'm going to blow a steam, I go outside and
walk away from minute. You know, it's hard to tell
people at it because you know, a lot of the

(40:51):
people I work out there are the older generation. They
don't understand that stuff, and when you try to explain
it to them, they don't get it. They don't understand.
They think it's all hogwash, you know. And boss, she
tried to talk to me about it and was like,
I'd like, I'm in my head, I'm thinking, congratulations. I
appreciate you what you're trying to do. I just don't
think you're understanding what's going on here. It's like, we
shouldn't freak out, you know. I'm like, okay, you know

(41:12):
outside I'm telling her, okay, I'm I had him thinking,
you have no idea what I'm dealing with to you.
And I love the fact that you're trying to talk
to me, but I don't think you're you're ready to understand,
or you're you're too out of it, too out of
the realm here to understand even if I explained it
to you, you know, kind of thing. But you know, I
appreciated her coming and talking to me because she's always
really great in things like that. But I know for

(41:34):
sure she's that part worse and that's not going to
listen to anything I say. She's gonna look at me like, okay,
that's interesting, you know, because she knows I do a
podcast too, and I've told her a little bit about
it and she just looks at me, doesn't say anything, like,
you know, she doesn't get it. You know, that type
of gives you a look like they just don't get it,
like you know.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
Well, you know, and that what's really cool with Like
on my other side of my business, So one side
of my business is super technical. I you know, I
work with UKG recruiting and onboarding customers to implement their
software and do training and things like that. But on
my wellness side of my business, I'm really working with
companies to do training, right, like mental health training, just

(42:10):
basic stuff like how do identify stress, how do I
identify anxiety? How do I identify you know, burnout? And
how to have those conversations with their employees.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
I think it's a well needed conversation honestly.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
And like not be a jerk about it, right, like
just giving them like you know, talk tracks and like
little tools that they can use to even to improve
their own mental health. Because a lot of times people
think that this all falls on HR, but it doesn't.
It actually falls on everybody. It falls on the managers,
the team leads, the employees themselves, and you know, I'm

(42:45):
going to go I'm just going to go back to
that other thing is just be nice. Listen. You have
no idea what's going on, none but a conversation, like
an authentic conversation.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
Not like you are doing. Where that sentence authentic. It's
the key sentence right there. Don't don't try and fake
that shit because people can read and sense that shit
a mile away.

Speaker 3 (43:07):
Yeah, Like, don't pull out a script and be like,
I understand you are having anxiety to you do you.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
Know what you say?

Speaker 3 (43:14):
And I help this.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
You've read a School for Scoundrels where the guy's talking
to John, the guy that played in the play in
Dynamite and the Mexican guy we used. I can't think
what his name is now, but the guy's playing the
tap and he's like, look, babe, I get to do
the counseling thing. He's on the phot his wife. I
feel like that's what it's like for some of these people.
They're like, oh, they get ready to pull out a
script or something like oh man, baby, I gotta go.
I'm doing that council thing like right now.

Speaker 3 (43:36):
It's like, yeah, like, can you like imagine like managers
pointing out there like their script if this guy's got anxiety,
like it looks like you have anxiety, and in my
script it says we should try this. Okay, that is
not an authentic conversation like read like the materials that

(43:56):
think you're given, but like go talk to them with
your take heart.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
No, no, yeah, exactly. We had a younger guy. He
actually was on the audio side shout out to logan
by the way, buddy, I know you listen to these.
He reviews all my audio and he had gone through
something too, and it was interesting to see how they
reacted to him, like he freaked out, but they didn't
get it, and I'm like, I get it. You got
a lot going on. He got overwhelmed, you know, things
like that too, you know, and you could see he
was getting on wrong and I could notice it. I

(44:23):
was like, hey man, you need to step outside, step outside,
you know, And and I kept checking in with him
all the time, hey man, you're good. Are you're doing okay?

Speaker 1 (44:30):
You know?

Speaker 2 (44:30):
And he had to take a day where he was
just like, you know, I need a day and they're like, oh,
he's just need a day off. No, I think he
needs a mental health day. But okay, I'm not going
to tell you that because you would understand anyways, you know,
and and you know, with me doing the show and
and learning to identify certain things like that too as
I go, you know, it's great because you I, I
could be more supportive to my to the other people
around me and things like that too. And you know,

(44:52):
he he, he actually is a part of this thing.
He actually joined on to be just part of this.
He wanted to do sound tech anyway, so he cleans
up the audio for the audio side of the podcast.
He was telling me today because he used to make
him jokes to him about something. I won't say what
it was. We were joking about. We were joking about something,
and he goes, man, I realized how messed up you
really are, my brother. You don't even have the half
of it. Trust me, Wait till I really wait till
my story comes out and you have to edit that one.

(45:13):
You're really gonna hear some crazy shit and one. But yeah,
you know, he he dealt with it because we worked
together for a long time and he had he had
dealt with issues too. And the thing was is like
the way they reacted to him. Was just so funny
because they're like, oh, well, you know, he just he
just needs a minute. I'm like, he needs more than
then he somebody got there to check on him to
make sure he's okay, Like, he doesn't need you up
in his face asking him twenty questions, just say hey,

(45:35):
listen man. He takes his face, relax, you know, and
come back when you're ready. But then I started watching
him the next few days afterwards, and he started having
it getting overwhelmed again. I'm like, dude, don't let this
job get to you. Like at the end of the day,
it doesn't matter what it is, you know, Like, don't
let these people overwhelm you. You feel like you need
me on a certain time schedule, Okay, well you know
some days you just got to say fucking don't even

(45:55):
worry about it, man, Just just worry about you.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
Man.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
It's not worth having a leading him get to you
and let you win, because I've let it happen for
too where I got a weld to a bunch of
stuff and I had to step on there and it's like, well,
we can't freak out now, Peter. I'm like, well, I'm thinking, well,
you have no idea what I do with every day.
But okay, that's very nice to say.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
You made me laugh, But like, and now I lost
my train of thought. This has never happened on a
podcast because I usually have a lot of words in
my mouth. But you know, one thing I was gonna
say is like, if anybody that's out there, and there's
a big push for this right now, any job that

(46:35):
there's no job worth that is worth your mental health
right zero, there's absolutely no job. You can always find
something new. But also for anybody that works for a
company that has fifty employees or more, they have family,
which is the family family medical leadbacked. Right, So if

(46:55):
you need to take time, work with your leave coordinators
so you can take the time to get your mind right. Yeah,
you know, walking away from that situation, like okay, there's
one you know you can rage quit, but that's really
not the way to do it.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
Listen, We've all had thoughts about walking out, just throwing
stuff out the door, you know, come on.

Speaker 3 (47:17):
Now, Yeah, like, don't rage quit, but like take care
of your mental health. Yeah, and if it means like
calling insid to work, cal in stud to work, take
care of you because at the end, of the day.
All you have is you and you. You want to
love yourself and you want to be happy, and you
want to get outside and play. Like for the last

(47:39):
five months, that's all I wanted to do was get
out and play. But I live in upstate New York
and it's been cold as hell up here. I had
exactly one day of spring and that was a week ago,
last Monday. Because ever since then it's been like forty
and rainy.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
I have that one day that no man, Like, that's
why I'm in Texas now. I used to live in
the Illinois area. I could not stand a snow man.
People don't understand why a need snow. They're like little
snow here and they shoving me on, Like, guys, you've
not seen snow yet, trust me, Yeah, I think you're it.
Go go visit Gretch and know there. She's got worse
than I do.

Speaker 3 (48:11):
Yeah, it's been horrible, but like we moved here from
South Florida, Okay to upstate New York. Number one, just
you know, too many people crazy politics in the height
of their pandemic. Like, if you ever want to move,
that is the best time to do it, because there's
absolutely was nobody on the road. But you know, I
live like on eighty acres here, and you know, one

(48:33):
of the things I do to ground myself is I
go outside. I don't go outside a whole lot in
the wintertime because it's cold and I have to put
like shoes and socks and a jacket on. But in
the like summer, spring and fall, I can go outside.
I can yell all I want, like nobody's gonna hear me,
you know, find the things that are gonna make you happy.

(48:54):
And so like one of the other things I do now,
and I credit Dirty Skittles for this is on my phone,
I have like a folder and it's the pictures that
bring me joy. So whenever I'm going through something really crappy,
I'll pull out my phone and I'm like, I look
at the joy folder, or I'll throw on some music
that just like helps like rattle up the stuff that's

(49:17):
in my head, like if I shake it up a
little bit, like you know, trying to take that those
intrusive thoughts out. And the other thing I really have
worked on really hard is that negative self talk, right,
Like would you talk to yourself? Would you talk to
your friends the way do you talk to yourself. Probably
not so when that happens, I'm like, Okay, you're being

(49:38):
a jerk and you need to stop. And that that's
what I do for myself. But like I said, I'm
so incredibly happy to be alive now I got to
turn all that horrible stuff into something really good. And
I want people to know that. You know, there's no
easy button, but if you're willing to put in the work,
it's worth it.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Definitely. I agree. It's awesome though, because you alsoide the podcast.
You said you're close to two million downloads. Now you
have the other one. Now you do too. It's like
you had so much more to do, and I think that,
you know, the universe had a plan for you. It
was just unfortunately you had to go to row route.
You had to go, you know. And now we're here.
Now we're both here. Now we'll have podcasts and things
like that. Things I've been talking about I want to

(50:20):
do for a long time, to do a podcast, you know,
and then I fuck it. One day I just said,
fuck it, let's go for it. Had the experience a
horrible experience with the co host and it was, you
know more because they were very extreme about things, and
I just was like, yeah, I don't. I don't agree
with what you're saying. I can't. I can't support something
like that.

Speaker 3 (50:37):
You know.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
It was a fun little thing to do. At first,
it was great. I shared some stories in the first
season of list things I deal with in customer service,
and people are eating that up. They will laughing. I'm like, yeah,
y'all think this is funny, but this is the stuff
I've dealt with, Like, these are some crazy ass things
have gone on here, you know. And then what I
brought in the co host, it got wild because then
she got really graphic and sexual nature and I'm just like, yeah,
I'm married. My wife doesn't approve of these things, so

(50:59):
I can't be a part of this kind of stuff,
you know. And then when I did this show, the
only agreement I had to make was that it was
a solo mission. I can't have a co host or
anything else, you know, and stuff like that. That was
the one thing I was agreed to. And I was like,
you know, and not saying a co host is wrong,
It's just wasn't fitting for what I was doing, you know.
And it just got out of hand with the subjects
that we got into but yeah, you know it, it's

(51:22):
been interesting along the way, man. And it's funny, you say,
self talk is I talked to somebody for an hour
long about self talking. It was the most interesting conversation
ever because we went real deep. She was she was
giving you all the technical stuff and all these different things,
and you know, and she was even impressed that I
could keep up with the conversation. I'm like, listen, trust me,
I can keep up most conversations. Don't get me wrong.

(51:43):
I'm I may not know a lot, but trust me,
I can keep up a lot of stuff, you know.
And I'll also have a little nice little chat sheeet,
I have a what is it from perplexities? I got
another version of like an AI over here that I
could look up stuff along the way that she's talking
to me, so I could keep up too. So you know,
like I have all these different tool in place to
help me, you know, in case I don't understand what
something is, I can look it up, look up some statistics.

(52:04):
So like we're live talking and stuff, and I pull
up different statistics and stuff like that too. So it's
it's been a journey though since the beginning. But it's great,
and we're already out to October now. I think I've
got a couple one person booked in October now, and
that's just Mondays a long because I do a weekly
show on a podcast network too, you know, and that's
where we're live now, is on a podcasting network and
things like that, and I listen, I ain't never attempted

(52:26):
to do this. I would never even had it. It was
like after the first like few days of posting the idea,
it was, they reached out to me and said, hey, listen,
I'm starting a new podcast network. Would you be interested.
I'm like, well, I don't have anything recorded, mind you,
And he was like, no, I don't care. He goes,
it's for new people to get in there and do things.
And Tom and Jenny are the ones that run it,
and they have their own podcasts that they were doing
with some other network and they said they didn't like

(52:47):
how the network was treating them so and you know,
hats off to them, because if it was out for them,
I went out and have this show live like this,
you know, think I'd be as far as I am now,
you know. And then I have the audio side because
you know, some people like to digest it that way.
So I'm like, spotif out on our heart radio. I'm
out there so you could hear me everywhere. So it's
great though, because a lot of people hearing these conversations

(53:08):
have come up to me and said, well, you don't
sound like the same person. I said, what does that
mean when you say that? They said, O, well, you
sound really intelligent. I'm like, what do you mean, because
like what I sound intelligent? I'm like, what do you
mean I'm having a conversation. You mean that you didn't
think I could hold up in these conversations. I'm sorry,
like sorry for you doubting me. You know, I'm glad
that you kind of turned him around the corner. But
enjoy because the show is just getting started here.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
Yeah, like we're we're blown away by the success. And
it was funny because in the past, like Dirty Skills
would get really anxious about the numbers of things. Now
the tables are turned because I don't number one, Like
I didn't understand why our you know, why we ended
up with so many listeners and things like that. But

(53:53):
what gives me even more anxiety now is we were
we are physically booked with guests until May of next year.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
Hey, there you go, that's up. See I was at
the beginning of this year. I was out at September least,
so you know, there's a high enough demand of just
people that want to be on the show and things
like that too. And other people are like, oh, well,
I'll have to wait till next year to get an interview.
I'm like, actually you might not, because I try to
add extra ones in here and there because the network

(54:20):
told me I could fill in the space where nobody's
at right now. It's like, well, now let's get their
name out there. Let's go. They're given the opportunity to
be here, so let's get them hyped up.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
And you know what. The other thing, Pete that I
love is that the just the guests, right, they have
these incredible engaging stories and like things that they've done
that I probably haven't read from someplace else, and you know,
dirty skills and I laugh all the time. It's like
free therapy for us. We record one Saturday a month

(54:51):
and we'll record like five to six episodes. But like
for self care, the following day, like I will go
and do something fun, like purposely fun. I will like
check out like it is no social Saturday, like our Sunday.
I'll stay completely off of social media and just take
care of myself, because that's the other thing. It's like

(55:11):
social media like messes with your head to right, doom
scrolling on TikTok, doom scrolling on Instagram. You know, do
other things, like if you live someplace where it's nice
enough to even like maybe get out in the morning,
get outside. Everybody needs a little sunlight. Like right now,
I have fake sunlight with my like sad lamps because

(55:33):
I just need some sun. But you know, in a
couple of weeks it's gonna be beautiful and sunny here,
and like do things that make you happy, good things,
and you know, let's just be nicer to each other
right now. Please.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
I think that's the one message to you. I did
get a chance because of this show to do a
holocaust or viral panel the gentleman named Ben Lesserman, and
Ben's Ben's to the world was, you know, I love everyone,
love everybody though everything Ben's been through and the crazy
stories this guy had told us, and like, like I've
heard I've been listening to his story too. Another person
having the show, Hillary, She runs to hysterically thinking podcasts

(56:12):
and hers is like number three and think of mental
health right now. And she had done an interview with
Ben and the two of them are talking. I had
to pause halfway through because it was a lot I
was taking on a lot, you know, being an impact myself.
You know, I was like, man, I need to take
a break from it. This is intense. Like this guy
has been through like some crazy stuff, Like you know,
he's talking about ten year old kids getting tossed into
fire pits and things like that, and I'm just like,

(56:34):
oh Jesus, Ben, He's like, yeah, you know, we're just
walking in He's like, and then the ash that was
flying through the air with bodies that they had burnt
up and things like that. You know, it's just the
things hed gone through. And this man still had a
positive message for the world. He's like, let's not let's
don't let them forget what happened, so we don't repeat history.
And so another thing Ben likes to say too, you know,
And he went so far as to make a digital

(56:55):
AI of himself, so he spent a lot of time
into this, you know, and he's still speaking now. He's
like ninety something he's still out there speaking, it's still
engaging with people, talking to kids. And I was like,
you're talking to kids, man, He's like yeah, and he
was like, yeah, I was talking to kid. And he said,
the kids are really interested in what he had to say.
And I'm just like, for you to catch the attention
of a child, man, you have to be had something
special there, because it's hard to keep their attention nowadays

(57:18):
for anything.

Speaker 3 (57:19):
It is, so you know, I'm I'm so grateful for
your podcast, you know, helping us like just change change
the narrative. Let's just keep changing the narrative together. I'm
so honored to be here.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
I appreciate you coming. I really, dude, it's been awesome.

Speaker 3 (57:36):
What a great what a great episode.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
Thank you so much. I appreciate it, you know. And
like I said, every time I get a new person
in here, it's it's interesting. Because one person I had
on she literally said, she goes, I didn't know how
this conversation is to go, but she said, the first
five minutes of meeting you, she said, I already knew
this is going to be a great conversation. You know.
Me and her went back and forth for a while
and stuff like that, and I was like, yeah, listen, man,
I tell you as friendly as possible. You know, it's

(58:00):
great and people taking the time to come visit me,
Like I'm gonna make you feel like an all star
because you're here visiting, Like why not, Like you took
the time to come visit me. Like I've met another
girl the other day named Caitlyn. She does I need
a friend. She's only twelve episodes in and I was
telling her I saw a lot of me and her. Man,
it's the excitement of things, the learning and stuff she's
learning so far. I said, girl, you got no idea

(58:20):
what you're about to get into. It'say, because I'm gonna
start sending you some guests that I know. I told
her doing the same side that we're a part of,
you know, like I joined this item like for six
bucks a month. Man, you were good. I have a
list of people I can send you for days of
just people that you could have come on and come
visit and things like that. And she's really great though.
She was like, well, I saw the people a podcasts.
I'm like, let me tell you all right now, just

(58:40):
because someone else has a podcast, don't let that determine
to discard you or make you discredit and make you
feel like you can't do one because everybody has a voice,
like you know, we all there's twenty three hours. There's
twenty four hours in a day, man, all right, they
can't listen to all of them twenty four hours in
a day. So you know you're out there lending your
voice to something. It's you know, you how are you
gonna know until you try, Like, don't don't stop saying

(59:02):
I can't and just do it, you know.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
Just do it, like pick up a microphone, find one
of the free hostings, hosting you know hosts out there,
and share your message. Right there's four point three million
downloads out there. But you know what it's not. It's
not a numbers game. It's about sharing what is, what makes,
what's going on in your life, what you want to

(59:25):
impart on the world because the world just needs to learn.
And you know, like a huge shout out to podmatch,
right like whatever.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Great fantastic work. He actually reached out to me, Gretchen,
right when he was he was starting when I started mining,
he reached out to me first, and I didn't think
of anything in the email because I was like, I
don't know. This random email came in from Alex and
it was Alex himself directly messaging me, and I was like, damn,
you know. And then somebody else had mentioned it. Sometime
in November, a woman named Stephanie Aycock. She's doing a

(59:53):
movie called uh, oh god, what is it now?

Speaker 3 (59:56):
Damn?

Speaker 2 (59:56):
I can't even remember Bloom. It's called Bloom. Sorry, Stephanie.
She's gonna laugh when she hears me, but yeah, she
does the movie. She's working a movie called Bloom. She's
in this funding stage of it. She had mentioned this
site to me. She's like, hey, you sing. I'm like,
why does the name sound so familiar? So I went
and looked at me emails and I realized that it
was Alex who would directly emailed me and said, hey, Pete, listen,
I got this new site. I wanted you to come
try it out and see what you think. And I

(01:00:17):
was like, yeah, you know, me, I'll get around to it.
I never even thought about it, but I saved the
email because I was like, I was telling my wife.
But I was like, yeah, hey, listen, there's this guy
reached out to me at this site. He said it
you know, match just guests up and things like that,
and I was like, I didn't think anything of it,
but now I'm so glad I got on it because
I've met so many great people from there, you know,
and I've made so many different connections and different people's
you know, different friends I've made of things like that,

(01:00:39):
you know. And it's been great though, because one of
my good friends, Catherine, I talked to all the time.
I me and her talk like NonStop all the time.
I'm just different things like I reach out to her,
you know, and stuff like that with guests, and she
shares guests with me. And then I have another person
named Melissa. She runs emotionally unavailable and I send her
guests all the time too, And I got her on
the site too because I interviewed with her. Was actually

(01:01:00):
my second review was with her I've ever done, and
it was a blast, like we just got in there
and it was just like she just said click record
and we were just going for it too, and you know,
and things like that. So I encourage people to join
all the time. Man, if you get a podcast, you guys,
don't limit yourself. Man, six bucks a month will get
you unlock you to the potential millions of people on
there you can talk to, and you know, people like
Wretching and other people with really great people you get

(01:01:21):
to meet all the time, and then from there they
just talk about you and tell other people, Hey, listen,
you gotta go check out the show was just on,
you know, and I constantly tell people. So after we're done,
I guarantee you're going to be sent out to a
few of those people too, like, hey listen, y'all gotta
get her on. You have to see what she's doing.
What she's doing is something special, especially with the two
million almost downloads and everything else you're doing and just
having a voice out there. It's just great. And it

(01:01:42):
hats off to you and skills because you guys had
the encouragement to do it. You know, you guys just
said fuck it, let's do it one day and just
and there you are, man, and people people loving what
they're hearing. So you're obviously doing something right. And you know,
I'm shocked still that I've got Like, looked at my
YouTube numbers the other day. I was just curious. I
had twenty eight thousand views in the last thirty days
on my channel. I was just like, whoa hold on,

(01:02:04):
this is crazy, you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
Know, because because now you're famous.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Right now, I'm famous people, everyone knows me. A lot
of people talk about me and things like that too,
and it's great, and it's like, oh, okay, I still
live in a doubt. I'm like, oh, they're talking to me, okay,
all right, cool man, all right, hey.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Yeah, and if you're anything like me, I get super
cringey and like duck back out and I'm like, yeah,
I'm not famous, right, yeah, yeah, quit talking about me.
I'm not that person. But you know, like the other
thing with pod match is that you know, my friend
Lisa Schuckerman and I started the Survivor's podcast. She was
a guest on our podcast and I had met her

(01:02:43):
through podmatch, yeah, and we just hit it off, and like, so,
you know, if you if you're a suicide attempt survivor
or a survivor of a survivor of loss from suicide,
check us out. It's just two of us. We are
not clinicaled by means, super easy conversation. We like give
you out as many resources as we can, and you know,

(01:03:07):
the more we talk about it, it's the less stigma
there is.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
Yeah, exactly. So all right, guys, I'm gonna start wrapping
up this episode. Gretchen. I am definitely gonna put all
those in the link below for sure. I'll get all
the links for your shows and stuff, and I'll put
them on there and everywhere that way we can find them.
I have all your other social links and stuff like that,
you know, and things like that too. So is your
new podcast already releasing episode yet?

Speaker 3 (01:03:27):
Yeah? We release new episodes every Wednesday.

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
Okay, cool. So definitely, guys, you're exactly what to find her.
Even if even you're not a part of style to
say you want to sell spports show, go listen to it.
Why not? What else you gotta do turn down when
you're doing something else, you know, cleaning the house or
whatever else. You know, Go check her out, man, show
us some love because she's clearly got something going there
right now, almost two million downloads. It's amazing and an
achievement is on its own. So well, thank you so

(01:03:50):
much for coming. I appreciate you being here. This is
a great conversation. You know. Did you want to give
a shout out to anybody? Want to plug anything, anything
new coming up? Anything exciting? You're gonna be doing.

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
Now, you know. Just come give us a listen. You
guys can come out to our come out to our website.
You can go on go out to goes on on
ourheads dot net. Check out if the podcast. We have
all our episodes out there, the Survivor's Podcast. It's out everywhere.
If you want to learn more about my company, just

(01:04:19):
go out to shows theirsolutions dot com. Uh. I am
probably the easiest person to ever talk to. I'm an extrovert,
I'm an EmPATH, and I love to laugh at even
the most irreverent things. I know I'm going to go
to house some day, but I'm okay with it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
Always punched my ticket here I go. All right, guys,
this wraps up this episode of Pete for as Anxiety. Guys,
you know to find me. I'm Pete for Anxiety and
X all the way down to TikTok, I'm on Spotify
all the down out radio, and as always say, it
costs nothing, absolutely not to be kind to somebody. One
kind act you could, you could say something or hell,
you can make their day. I'm Pete for his Anxiety
saying don't ask your days. They say, Hey, guys, how's
your mental health today,

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

The Joe Rogan Experience

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The host of sh!t that goes in are heads -Gretchen Schoser

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Stuff You Should Know

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

The Joe Rogan Experience

All Episodes

The host of sh!t that goes in are heads -Gretchen Schoser

Stuff You Should Know