August 18, 2025 • 44 mins
my guest today is the host of the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast Elizabeth Cush
i'm a therapist and life coach and I've learned, through my own experiences, that healing is not a one size fits all model, and that healing can happen at any age. When we understand our needs and release the feelings of guilt or shame that don’t belong to us, we find the wisdom to make intentional, compassionate choices. And we begin follow through on the broken promises we made to ourselves along the way. Through this process of honoring our Self, we find joy and fulfillment in the life we’ve created.
socials------
youtube: @elizabethcushlcpc3220
facebook:https://www.facebook.com/AYWWPodcast
instagram:awakenyourwisewoman
website:https://www.elizabethcushcoaching.com/
JOIN MY TEAM ANXIETY FACEBOOK GROUP!!!!!!!! https://www.facebook.com/group...
join the Pete vs Anxiety discord right now:
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/pete-vs-anxiety--6084228/support.
i'm a therapist and life coach and I've learned, through my own experiences, that healing is not a one size fits all model, and that healing can happen at any age. When we understand our needs and release the feelings of guilt or shame that don’t belong to us, we find the wisdom to make intentional, compassionate choices. And we begin follow through on the broken promises we made to ourselves along the way. Through this process of honoring our Self, we find joy and fulfillment in the life we’ve created.
socials------
youtube: @elizabethcushlcpc3220
facebook:https://www.facebook.com/AYWWPodcast
instagram:awakenyourwisewoman
website:https://www.elizabethcushcoaching.com/
JOIN MY TEAM ANXIETY FACEBOOK GROUP!!!!!!!! https://www.facebook.com/group...
join the Pete vs Anxiety discord right now:
join Pete vs Anxiety!!! patreon now for 1 dollar is all it takes to get you in for bonus contenthttps://www.patreon.com/posts/... /> ticktock:@petevsanxietypod i
nstagram:@pete_vs_Annxietypodcast
Want to be a guest on Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!? Send Peter Dalke a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostd...
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/pete-vs-anxiety--6084228/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, guys, it's Pete for Beef Anxiety here. Welcome in
today's episode. I appreciate all being here so much. Let's
talk about a few things real quick. The pe for
so Anxiety Team anxiety Facebook group. Are you a part
of it?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You're not?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
What are you waiting for? The links out here in
the description now below, or go to Facebook and search
pe for anxiety, then look for the team Anxiety team
page and join it. Today went on, you can join
the help it'll be great, Like right now, hurry up,
stop it doing paused video? Go do around. But anyways,
let's also talk about the p fors anxiety YouTube page.
You guys, if you're here right now, you're probably following
it most likely. If not, head on over there, subscribe
(00:35):
if you shure I don't like in comment on the
videos and let me know because all that suff really helps, guys,
I really appreciate it and help me break the stigma
that mental health is talked about enough. But anyways, guys,
let's get in today's episode. I'll be I'll have a
great one. Thank you so much again, and as always say,
don't ask your day is ask how your mental health
is today?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Guys, Welcome to an exciting episode of Pete for Its Anxiety.
My guest today is a licensed clinical professional counselor a
sole guide for highly sensitive women, a business owner in Maryland,
Deren Waller, and she's also the host of the Awaken
Your Wise Woman podcast. Please welcome in the one the
Only Elizabeth Koch.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
How you doing today?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
I'm doing well, hat Thanks for having me on your podcast, Pete.
I'm excited to be here, definitely.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
What would you let me a little bit more about
yourself and then we'll get into the get into your
podcast and all that great stuff.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
All right. Well, as you said, I'm a therapist and
a life coach or soul support for highly sensitive women.
I got into the work because I was a very
anxious person for most of my life, and once I
had kids, realize that it was important for me to
understand how to manage my own anxiety and stress. And
(01:41):
so went back to school and you know, got some
personal therapy and have you know, been kind of working
on managing the anxiety. Pretty much my whole life that
you know, feels like it's in a pretty good place
right now.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, mine's in a great place too.
But you know, that's the whole reason pete versus anxiety,
say a bottom anxiety every day, some days an adventure.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Yep, yep, it is. It is, so what sneaks in
when you're not expecting it?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
So what got you into you know, focusing mostly women
like highly sensitive women too, and even at that, it's
a very interesting topic to get into.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Yeah, well I learned later in life, probably my late forties,
maybe early fifties, that I was highly sensitive. So they're learning,
I think, more and more as more research is done
about high sensitivity. But it is considered a neurodivergent trait,
(02:42):
and so people who are highly sensitive feel and notice
sensory information at a much deeper level. So it could
be feelings, but it's also sensory all sensory stimuli like
sound and taste and touch, and so we're very deep processors.
(03:06):
We love, you know, going deep in conversation, but also
can feel very deeply as well. And so once I
learned more about it, I recognize that so many of
the clients that were reaching out to me also had
high sensitivity as well, and so I think probably my
(03:27):
website copy helped them feel seen or something. But you know,
so it drew a lot of highly sensitive people to me,
and so I've just continued to dive deeper into that
work with my clients because it feels really important to
validate them, but also to bring more awareness to what
(03:50):
being highly sensitive really mean. Though. Yeah, oh totally totally
pick up on others and for sure, yes, yes, very subtle.
I was thinking about this the other day. Just subtle
energy shifts and other people can really you know, it
(04:14):
can activate a lot inside yourself, right like you just
you're feeling it, but maybe you're not being able to
identify exactly what shifted or changed.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yeah, yeah, see, I'm in the same way. So that's
why I can relate to that, because that's how it
was too for me. It was this weird, tingling feeling.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Sorry, I'm not supposed to call it weird.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
If I met one of my guests, you told me,
don't call it weird because it's normal. But it was
like a weird It was like a tingling feeling, you know,
like you knew something was in the air, that something
was something was there, like you felt the presence of something.
And now it's when people get close enough to me,
I can feel if I don't like you. I got
a real nasty pit in my stomach, and you know,
it's this one of those things. I never could put
my finger on what it was. So I met a
(04:52):
few guys that do energy work and we were discussing
it and they were describing it to me, and I
was like, Okay, well, this is really fascinating because now
it makes sense because I can read the room a
lot of times, I can look at most people. I
could tell something's wrong a lot of times. You know,
it's just that energy they give off, you know. And
then the principle like the fact I have such a
small inner circle though, it's because those are the people
(05:13):
I want, and the other people that don't like my energy,
the people that tend to fall off eventually because they
just don't like what I'm giving out.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Yeah yeah, yeah, well, and I think and I don't
know if you're highly sensitive or not, but I think
too highly sensitive people tend to have a very close
knit circle of people they trust right to receive them,
but also to be in relationship with, because it's important
to feel safe and feel safe energetically with the people
(05:41):
that you're with.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah, no, I'm the same way though I really just
keep a small close circle of people. I let people
in the outer orbit. If you make it to the
inner circle, then you've really made it to a level
of trust. And that's hard for a lot of people
to get to because I don't keep a lot of
people in there, you know, and just because all the
things I've dealt with all my life, you know, my
expert trade me. So then it kind of really closed
the circle down. Then I was like, m yeah, I
(06:03):
don't trust a lot of people because how do I
know you don't have alternative motives and things like that too?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Totally? Oh yeah, well, and I think, like what's interesting
for me is that I think that because of my sensitivity,
you know that I you know, you're born with it,
that not everybody in my family really understood it. And
so it was often like, you know, you're too emotional,
(06:28):
or you're you know, you're you're making too much about this.
And so I think then in many ways that probably
contributed to my anxiety, you know, just like oh I
have to shut these feelings down of big emotions, or
being being overwhelmed by smells, or not liking particular food
because of texture, like feeling like I had to kind
(06:48):
of hamper down who I was, and I think that
kind of contributed to the anxiety that I carried.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, I don't know, I had a.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Real big texture thing. I've opened to try any kind
of foods.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You know.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I don't think any of that really affects me really
too much, but you know, I could see that though.
Most a lot of sensitive people like that though, And
I think that the problem is a lot of people
viewing me or they'll say, mostly for most women's say
oh they're crazy. Not necessarily, maybe it's the fact they are,
like you just said, they're over sensitive and they just
don't want to deal with your crap.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Maybe that's what it is, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
It's just like I just it's just so funny because
nearly stereotypical things guys say about women's, oh they're just
she's just crazy, or because you know, some girls are
very emotional, some aren't, you know, and it's just it's
not that they're they're crazy, it's just they're more in
tune their emotions than most people are, is what my
thoughts are. After doing a lot of these episodes, you know,
you start learning different things, and that's a lot of
things you start picking up on is that, you know,
(07:45):
sometimes it's not that the person is sensitive or ever,
it's it's the fact that they're just really in tune
their emotions totally.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Oh yeah, well, and I think that term of like,
oh that you know, woman is crazy is also a
way to kind of pigeonhole women as hysterical or overly
emotional versus just being who they are, right like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's how society works these days.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
We got to put plant labels on everything as if
not we we feel like it's a we got to
oust it out, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And it's just.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah, don't even get me start on social media either.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I just it's every day you're on your phone, it's
something new.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I know. I know it's true, it's true, it can
be can be overwhelming for sure, the social So.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
So what did you start your podcast?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I mean, I know, being a podcaster it's a lot,
you know, but I mean it had to be something
interesting in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Yeah. Well, actually, my my podcast started, uh in I
think the first episode launched in twenty eighteen, and my
goal at the time was to focus on anxiety for women,
so it was called woman worry not warriors, but warriors,
(09:02):
because women warrior a lunch and I like that dove
deep into just why so women are diagnosed with an
anxiety disorder twice as often as men, and so I
was like, all right, well, let's look at that. Why
is that? Is it just that more women are going
to therapy or entering into research, or is it that
(09:23):
there's really stuff happening for women that contributes overall to
them being more anxious than men. And so talking about
trauma and talking about high sensitivity and all the things
that can could contribute to anxiety. And I think that
was stayed the focus for about three years, and then
(09:48):
kind of as I evolved and as the conversations I
wanted to have evolved, I decided to shift to really
focusing the podcast on helping women live their best life
and so all the alternative forms of healing and and
(10:09):
you know, different types of therapies and just also adjusting
to life, you know, when your kids are older, stuff
like that. That. I just really wanted to make the
podcast more about that, and so I shifted it to
Awaken Your Wise Woman, excuse me? And yeah, and so
(10:29):
now we're on like the three years prior you know,
of Women War Ears was like one season and now
I will be recording season six starting later this fall,
So yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Going to continue this season right now. I've been going
since September last year. I've really missed like maybe one
or two weeks. We have enough interviews set up that
it just wouldn't even matter if I laid them all
out and probably into twenty twenty six, maybe twenty twenty seven,
possibly if you did it bi weekly. But there's such
a high demand for this conversation, it's crazy. I didn't
(11:05):
think like when I started mine it was just going
to blow up like it did, but it did. Like
my phone was going off so much. I didn't know
what to do. I was like, this thing just kept
going off. I'm like, what the hell all this deal
texted me?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Like I had like fifty plus people in the first
like day and a half that already messaged me that
wanted to sign up. The show was already booked the
end of the year by the second week or the
second or third week of the month I actually started,
because I started in September.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Going live on the network.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
I'm on now you know, and it was it was
just crazy to see how much demand. It's like, well,
damn all right, well maybe open another time stole to
see what happens. Maybe they'll just pick up some of
the overfloat. Nope, end of the year as well. So
you know, And it was crazy because come November, I'm
already out to July at twenty twenty five, and I'm
telling people this and people going, are you serious, I'm like, yeah,
only on Mondays, my weekly show usually committed to everything
(11:53):
what you still do and out to July now, and
they're like really, I'm like yeah. So at the beginning
of the year, I was like, you know what, I'm
just gonna pop up in the books a bit and
see what other conversations I can get into. And from
there it's been a great experience. Like you know, all
these different people I invite to come on, you get
all these different views and different conversations, and you find
a lot of interesting conversations that happened.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
A lot of times. You know, I've done like I
did an episode. I read it.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
I actually read the book of Price Camps Memore, a
woman had wrote, and I was like, you know, it
was really good.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I read the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I was like, this is great, and I said, it
got really wrong gritty, So like, I don't stir away
from any conversations here whatsoever. I go, I talk about everything.
Everybody's got something that I legitimately feel makes sense, Like
they don't go too extreme, like I've had a couple
of people a little extreme off the tangent. I was like, yeah,
I think we're going a little off our base of
what we're trying to do here. But I invite everybody
(12:43):
to come join this conversation. It's been great. Season wise. God,
I don't even how many can break to some season.
Maybe every year is gonna be a new season.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Well, and you know, not everybody does seasons. It just
worked for me because the amount of effort and work
that goes into doing a podcast and and like you said,
the booking and your time and getting the episodes up
and out, Like I realized that I needed to take
a break from my own stress and anxiety levels. So
now I take summers off for the most part. I'll
(13:14):
re release some episodes, but yeah, I'll take summers off
and then and then start new live you know, or
new brand new conversations again. In the fall. So yeah,
I think it's just different for everybody.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
And I do absolutely no planning half the time when
I talk to people too, So most of this is
just authentically me, which has.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Worked out just fine. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
I mean, I I keep a lot of conversations going
no problems. So I find it very interesting though when
people pick certain areas. I like it because I think
it's interesting because a lot of people go, oh, well,
they're only worried about men, or they're only about women.
It's like, but yeah, but think about what they're doing
for these different groups of people though, Like, you know,
these ladies need some help. She's focusing on what these
ladies need, like obviously she's fitting a niche.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
It's just like you know, anytime you're selling something to somebody,
it's like you got to fill a need for something.
It's always the thing they always tell you, Well, you
got to fill that gap or somebody needs something, you know,
And like yours is focusing on the high sensitive ladies.
Mine is mental health. And I cover pretty much every
topic and you know things like that too. And I
think a lot of people don't realize how much extra
work goes in because a lot of people tell me
(14:17):
whant to start a podcast, and then I give them
a list. I'm like, okay, well here's some things to
consider ted things on this list, and then they don't
come back and talk to you after it.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Well, I just read I just read a statistic that
most podcasts don't make it past episode eight. That people
will do eight episodes and that's it.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
There's eight.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Some say twenty. They don't make it past twenty either,
But I think twenty is shooting it for a lot
of people because once they get into it, they figure
out how much planning it takes. For some of these,
you know, and it's in you know, you got to
storyboard a lot of things and depending on what your
topic is, you know. And I tell people the same
thing always that I was always told by somebody who's
just stay consistent, Like if you're going to be on
a certain time unless you have to miss it for
(14:57):
some reason, you know, that's it. And that stay consistent
with when you're doing things like drop new episodes on
these days and things like that too, and all this
other different stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And you know, it's a lot of work. Man.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
People don't realize sounds work because feel asking if I
sleep and I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Know that either.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Yeah, it's a lot of work, but it is as
you said, it's really I find the conversations are what
keep me going, right. It's just it's really meaning to
meet people across the world that are doing great work
and have great stuff to share.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
So do you have any publications coming up? By chance?
Speaker 4 (15:34):
I don't. I've been considering. I write a blog, so
that is always being published. So yeah, so I do
a monthly blog. There was a time where I wrote
a weekly blog, but I can't keep up with that
now either. But yeah, so I do a monthly blog.
And just thinking about how I could use the stuff
(15:56):
I've written so far to either put into a booklet
or a book, but I just haven't taken a leap
yet to do that. But yeah, but mostly right about
mental health and sort of managing life as it arrives
on our doorstep, you know, things that can throw you
for a loop, in ways to help manage whatever might
(16:17):
come up along the way.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Yeah, right, Oh, no, I agree. Definitely another question I
think what it was now here it is.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Yeah, I'm very open.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yeah, okay, so my question for you is, I know
you noted as one of the questions you'll answer is
why self care isn't selfish and it's necessary. I think
this is a very interesting topic because every time you
bring it up, I think selfish is the biggest thing
you hear.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Do you have a feeling on why people think that
that's the reason?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Yeah, well, I think often our culture, it sort of
raises us, for many of us that at least live
here in the United States, that selfless is really what's important.
We should be focusing on other people's needs. You know,
that our needs should be subjugated to others. I think
(17:08):
for women in particular, that's a theme we hear from
young you know, young adulthood or whatever, even young young child.
You know, they that other people's needs matter more than ours.
And the thing is, like, if we're not taking care
of ourself, how are we going to take care of
(17:28):
anybody else? Right, Like, if we're if we're struggling, if
we are depressed or anxious, or have mental health issues,
and we're putting all our energy into taking other taking
care of other people, or even if we have an illness,
right that it's really hard to be a good caregiver
(17:48):
or even just be a good friend if we're struggling.
And so I think a lot of people see self
care as like I'm going to go away for a
weekend by myself, or I'm gonna go get I don't know,
a massage every week. But really it's the small steps
(18:11):
that matter the most in self care, like are you
eating healthy healthily? Are you hydrating? Are you I can't
tell you how many people I've talked to who will
tell me like, I don't think I ever ate anything
until I got home from work today, and I'm like,
you should be nurishishing yourself throughout the day, or like
(18:37):
oh yeah, Oftentimes I'll go like the whole day without
going to the bathroom. I'm like, how do you want?
I don't know how you do that? But two, like
that feels like you're not really paying attention to what's
happening inside your body, right, so you know, getting enough sleep,
Like that's a huge, huge fact or in mental health issues.
(19:01):
If you're not sleeping well, your body is never having
a chance to reset fully and like a computer sort
of rebooting, right. So the small pieces of you know, resting,
like say during the day, take them home and then
lay down for ten minutes. A lot of people really
(19:23):
have a hard time with making them making their own
care a priority, and I think that needs to change.
I feel like we really need to encourage everyone to
be taking good care themselves.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah, I agree, it'll kill us, right yeah, No, I agree.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
If you don't take time to worry about yourself, you're
going to break down and then you're just not gonna
be good to anybody at that point. And it'll make
them sense, you know, like you could worry about all
these other people, but it's like, what are you doing
for yourself at the end of the day.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
Yeah, and it makes you that much better able to
be there for other people if we're if we're coming
at them with our own stress, we're really not that much.
We're not being that helpful, you know, if we can't
meet them with a full heart and full energy. Right.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
So my next question though, for you though, is kind
of in the same realm. It's, you know, building a
loving relationship with yourself. You know a lot of people
don't like themselves. What tips can you give them to
try and treat themselves better? Because you know there's some
people out there just hate themselves, do all that negative
self talk to themselves. And I don't like that, Like,
I don't agree to the whole negative self talking. Anthony, say,
start doing that. I'm like you, No, no, we don't
(20:37):
do that here. We don't do that kind of stuff here.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Yeah, No, you're I think that's part of self care do, right,
is to be kind to yourself and treat yourself like
you would the other people in your life. But you're right.
I think that we've learned from an early age that
being critical or treating ourselves with like sort of tough
(21:00):
love is the way to make us feel more motivated
or something. But often at that backfires. Right, If we're
yelling at ourself or criticizing ourselves all the time, that
can just one create a lot of anxiety, but it
also can just shut you down so you don't want
to do anything. It's not motivating at all. And I
(21:22):
think research is showing that if we can meet ourselves
with compassion and care and kindness when we make mistakes
or when things don't go well, that we're much more
likely to be able to move beyond them and do
things differently the next time. Right, Like I can remember
(21:48):
when I first started out as a therapist and talking
with my I'm forgetting what they're called, but like a mentor,
so she's a supervisor. And I felt like a session
where the client hadn't gone really well and I was
really dumping a lot of criticism on myself, like oh,
(22:11):
I should have, should have And she's suggested, I don't
know if you're familiar with Kristin Neff. She's a psychologist
but has done a lot of work on self compassion.
She has a book and a website and does a
lot of trainings and stuff. And she suggested I look
into that and like the whole concept of treating myself
(22:36):
like my best friend. I was like, what, Like that
can't be that, that's not real? And it shifted. It
changed so much for me, Like I began practicing to
meet myself with kindness, with compassion when I felt that
sort of self critical part chiming in, like okay, I
(22:58):
hear that it thinks it's helping, and you know, can
I be kinder to myself in this moment? Can I
recognize that maybe I didn't do the do you know,
maybe I wasn't as nice as I could have been
to that person, but I know I can do it
better next time, right, like instead of like you piece
of poop, like what the hell are you doing? Like
(23:19):
you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah, thinking answered whatever word you like in there for
that one. But yeah, no, I get that though. I
get the idea of being a teammate with your body
because if you don't work with your body, your body's
will work against you and you'll start breaking down and
all these other things, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
And I learned that early on.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Man, I did not take care of great care of myself.
And now I deal with a lot of problems now,
but I get through it. I mean it gets better
every day, you know. I just you know, it's just
getting it done is the is the part. It's just
hard for me. Sometimes I procrastinate a lot of times
I do things. I'm just like, yeah, I'll get around
to it eventually, and that I don't and I'm like, yeah,
I'll do that tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
It's it's just you know, but it makes sense though.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I mean, you're a team either way you look at it,
because if you're not taking care of yourself, how are
you going to get yourself where you want to be?
Speaker 4 (24:02):
You know? At the same time, yeah, absolutely, and I think.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
That's altered the category two of self compassion and why
we need it though, He's like, if you don't have
self compassion for yourself, it doesn't make any sense, you.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Know what I mean. Yeah, Well, I mean you are
your best resource, right, I mean your body, your heart,
your soul is your most valuable resource, and we often
treat it like like it doesn't matter, like it's just
sort of I don't know, like not real somehow.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
So I have a question for you, though, So, if
somebody's in a relationship with somebody that happens to be
highly sensitive, what are some tips you can give them
to help better better deal with them. Sometimes it may
be a little too much for people, you know, maybe
give them little tips like, hey, listen, these are some
things you can do to make it easier, or things
you should you know, look out for, to make sure
you can try and be in front of it. Be
(24:58):
in front of it so you can try and manage
it so it does get out of hand.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Yeah, that's a great question. So I think one of
the best things you can do is to get a
better understanding of what being highly sensitive is and recognize
through you know, learning that it's a biological trade. It
isn't something we choose to to do or not do.
(25:23):
It's or feel or not feel. It's just who we are.
How you know, how highly sensitive people are. So there's
a I think it's called hsp HSP or hsperson dot
org has a lot of research and and if you
(25:43):
think you might be highly highly sensitive, there's a quiz
there that you can take. But it just provides a
lot of sort of openness about what it means to
be highly sensitive. But also yeah, and and to recognize
that this isn't necessarily a choice. It's just who we are.
But each person who was highly sensitive has different variations
(26:07):
of the trait, right like for me as a kid,
tactile like touch stuff. I was super sensitive to different
types of fabrics, how clothes felt on my body. And
I think it cost a lot of distress for my
mother because she never knew what was going to work
or what wasn't, so getting dressed each day was a struggle.
(26:31):
I think if she had better understood, you know, my
personal sensitivities, it would have helped a lot in our relationship.
But also it wasn't very well known back then, so
you know, and maybe not known at all. I think
it was the eighties where it really became more more
grounded in research. And yeah, but you think.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
About it though, because where you were a child mental
health is different versus today. If you look at oh,
I'm sure you've seen a major change in things like
that because they didn't know a lot back then. I
know that much, you know, from this conversation of having
their people, it's like, if you're compared the two, it's like,
who man, the things that they thought to what they
know now. It just makes you laugh because you're like, well, wow, damn,
(27:14):
I didn't know. We didn't we didn't know this, but
that's really what it was, you know, I know, like
shell shock used to be PTSD and now I was
told that they're trying to change PTSD to PTI, which
is post traumatic injury pleases that they were saying it
was going to be things that too, so you know,
and I was like, okay, well that was interesting, you know.
You know, but they're always try to change all the acronyms.
Well you know, I mean they did it with what
(27:35):
was it, multiple personality sorders now the ID instead, and
they changed that one around, and it was just like, okay,
well get it. Because multiple personality sort of kind of
gives off a little different different than what it actually was.
And I think I love the point where you point
out that it's different in everybody because when you come
to different people, you meet with these different diagnoses and things,
you find that each one of them deal with different things.
(27:56):
You know, you could read these things in a book
all day, but when this person's physically in front of you,
they show different traits versus everybody else. And I thought
that was always interesting because we've had some people on
the show with interesting characteristics like that, Like you had
multiple people have HADVPD, and if you ask each one
of them, they all had a different, different answer to
how it affects them. Like you know, one said she
questioned herself every single day she gets some questions.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Help in the mirror.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
The other one had a different answer. This wasn't a
different answer, you know, and it was it was so
unique because it was so interesting because it's like, Okay,
well that's interesting to see because you could read these
in a book all day, but now you have the
physical person in front of you. This is even better
because now you can see and you can show other
people to go, hey, listen just because she has BBD
or he has BBD. It's different for each person that
they get different.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Things absolutely well. And I think the more we learn
about mental health, the greater I feel like understanding we
have for it. As you said, it's a different free person.
But also, you know, sort of the whole diagnostic area
(29:01):
can feel for some people, it can be a relief
like Okay, now I know I understand myself better and
what I need to do to work on myself. But
they are also downsides to the diagnosis too, you know,
because there can be especially with like like d id right,
that you may may frighten somebody to hear that this
(29:24):
person has you know, learned how to dissociate, you know,
because of trauma and reality is it's just like we all,
I believe, we all have different parts of ourselves, like
we have our self, our soul, and then depending on
(29:46):
how we were raised and what experiences we had through childhood,
different parts of us get activated, either in a more
extreme way or less extreme way. So I had an
incredibly loud, high critical part for a long time until
I learned to understand that it was really just trying
to help me navigate the world right and didn't want
(30:08):
me to get hurt or make mistakes. And so that
has quieted down now that I've been working on self compassion.
But I think what's interesting is there's a type of therapy,
a model of therapy called internal family systems, which is
(30:28):
really about working with our childhood parts and our inner
child and are all of the parts that within us
that work to make us function in the world in
a way that helps us feel like we're on top
of things, you know, and sometimes they're extreme.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
But what makes you different other forms of therapy though,
I mean, I have what's the difference from everything else?
So give people an example, so you know what the
declare the differences are between them.
Speaker 4 (30:58):
Yeah, So with intern family systems, there isn't a they
shy away from or have moved away from diagnoses. Right,
So say, for instance, a person with bipolar disorder. In
internal family systems, they see that person as a collection
(31:21):
of parts, right, like a system of parts. And so
within bipolar disorder, you may have a part that's more
impulsive and risk taking but also has moments of also
have parts that can be really depressed or sad, and
(31:42):
these parts learned how to navigate the world, probably from
a chaotic childhood. So there are wounded parts that are
beneath these more extreme parts that need healing. So basically
the model of the therapy works with all the parts
that are out they're protecting us, like maybe are extreme
(32:04):
what they call firefighter parts, but like the addictive parts
that turn to substances to help us numb, or the
dissociative parts that kind of take us out of everyday
life because it's just too painful. They see all those
parts as super helpful, like there are no bad parts,
and when we learn to work with them within our
(32:25):
own system and often with the help of a therapist,
it creates a more balanced system. So those parts are
still there, they're just not quite as extreme, and so
through that process you then eventually get to those very
wounded childlike parts that have kind of been pushed aside
(32:48):
or isolated because their feelings were just too extreme, too deep,
too hurtful, too painful. And so then healing those wounds
zans from those child parts releases the system to feel
in a way more at ease because those pin points
(33:10):
have been healed that have been stored away for such
a long time, if that makes sense. So the model
is really seeing you as a whole person. There's a
whole system of parts, none of which you are bad,
but as we get to know them and understand them
in kind, compassionate ways, it sues the whole system to
(33:34):
function in a way that feels more integrated.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like it. Though.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
I like the idea that they don't do anything with
diagnosis because I feel like sometimes people take and run
with it.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
They'll just say, oh, that's.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
All I'm you know, use it as an excuse a
lot of times, Well, you know, I have anxiety. That's
why I can't do this. I'm like, but is it
really though, I think that's just what you're dealing with
versus an actual you know, what is identifies you. Because
I feel like a lot of people take and run
with it a little too much, and it's just it's
it's like you gotta stop, like it's it's something you
deal with. It's not something that owns you, and it's
(34:10):
not your identity as a person.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
And I feel like too many people do that.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Yeah, just sort of over identifying with the diagnosis.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Yeah, no, they run like, oh, I can't do this
because I'm I have too much PTSD or something, you
know what I mean, like people just there's somebody that
use it and make it look bad for other people.
So many people start coming in contact with these things
like oh great, here goes another one kind of thing,
you know. And I think that's where the Internet makes
it worse though, because then you got all these people
out there giving out all this advice, and it's like
(34:38):
your first question should be ask credentials, like what are
your condenials for giving me advice?
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Right now?
Speaker 3 (34:44):
You know, it's great that everybody has an opinion, but
when you start trying to tell me what to do.
If you started off, well, this is my opinion, Okay,
it's different. But if you just start spouting things out
and you you've given out some advice to these people,
you better have some credentials because other than that, you're
you're falsely identifying as somebody you're not. You don't have
any idea what you're talking about, and then you're giving
them bad information and all these other people have all
(35:05):
these problems, and then it's just like it just cycles
out of control like an endless spiral, and it's just
it's it's horrible, It really is. I think social media
people take a little listen to what too many people say,
especially health influence guys like I watch all these videos
all day, see.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
All the time, come fross my timeline.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
The things these guys are saying is just crazy, like
they're just all about things.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, because they fearmonger a lot of times.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
If you're mongering a lot of stuff, you know, a
lot of them are like, oh, don't buy this by
this product. I'm I'm invested in this product, so you
should go buy this.
Speaker 4 (35:34):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Well, and just the lure of becoming
an influencer, you know, to be the voice of whatever
it is, it is a little scary. Like you said,
so what are your qualifications? How do you How did
you get to be the person that influences my health
or whatever it might be, my mental health.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
I think it's just it's just crazy that you know.
Then then the subjec I don't know if you've heard
about this. So chat GPT came up in a conversation
I had with doctor Fujane and I we were talking
about this. She told me this incident where chat GPT
was talking, where somebody was talking to chat gpt typing
some things in and apparently this person was dealing with
suicide alliation, so this conversation got interesting quick. So apparently
(36:18):
in the conversation, the person said the chat GPT basically
told them I was giving a list of ways of
how to commit suicide. I was like, what are you
doing chat GPD?
Speaker 4 (36:28):
No, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean there's definitely yeah scary.
I think chat GIPT or any AI can be helpful
given this, however, you choose to use it right right,
And it should not be your therapist. It shouldn't be
your best friend.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
Like.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Joel Listener. She said, it should not be your therapys.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
This is coming from a license purs to tell you
that that is not your therapist. Stop doing that stupid
tick doctrine, because you know that's where it always starts,
TikTok or somebody starts doing it, and then everybody starts
wanting to do it too, and it's just like, God,
please stop doing it, because that's the situation we run into.
And you know, doctor Vagina had her own app and
she was like, I have AI built in mind, but
she said that was something I was trying to avoid happening,
(37:15):
Like she was like I'm blocking the way to get
to these these kinds of things am happening. And I
was like, that was so fascinating when she told me that,
because I was like what, I was like, I haven't
heard about that yet, you know, and everything else looked
at it too, and it made me laugh because.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I'm like, you know, hey, uh yeah, like you.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Didn't really think people were gonna go do chat GBT,
but you forget. You know, people use the influence by things.
They see these big, big influences and go, well, hip,
he's doing it. Why can't I do it too? And
I'm just like, no, stop the sheep like mentality, please.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
Well, and chat GPT or any AI is only as
good as the information it's fed, right, And so if
it goes down a dark hole. There's a lot of
darkness on the internet, you know what I mean. So
we have to be mind full of you know, how
can we use it in productive, healthy ways, which I
(38:07):
think there are probably some really good benefits to it
in terms of easing workflow and stuff like that, but
it's not a human.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
All right, Well, we're going to get to the part
of the show we normally get till later on. But
Liz has somewhere to be here in a little bit,
so we're gonna get to We're to jump to the
really interesting questions. A question I ask comes in from
a friend of mine who runs a shop podcast called
The Shit That Goes On in Our Heads. When he
she and I interviewed, her question to me was, Pete,
if your mental health had a song, what would your
song be? So my question used the same thing. If
(38:37):
your mental hold haad a song, what would that song be?
Everybody loves this question. I'm telling you everybody loves this
question too.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
H Well, it's funny because I think my brain uses
songs to send me messages about where my mental health is.
So sometimes I wake up in the middle of the
night with a song playing in my head. Remember what
song was playing in my head two nights ago, which
oh would not stop. It's my mental health right now. God,
(39:12):
my brain is not clicking with songs right now. You
can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get
what you need.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
There you go, there you go.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
I like that one, No see, because I asked you
that question and they all have the same songs.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
They're like, Man, that's a good question. I know, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
It's really interesting to hear people's responses because when I
did mine, I gave them many different answers.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
But it changes.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
But I have that same thing though, Like I'm always
there's some song always playing in my head. At some
point it was just starting to grab it and just click,
and I'll just start randomly singing out loud all of
a sudden, because I work overnights, so like I work
all night most nights, you know, except for Mondays and
Tuesdays or Sundays. And Money's my day's office. So when
I'm there, I'm usually just outbursting songs. And this one
girl I work with, she goes, is that even a song?
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah? Here you go?
Speaker 3 (39:57):
It was the Armor hot Dog song was one of
my I caught my I don't know where this one
came from, but I was like, Armor Arbor. I just
started singing across ther She's like, what are you singing?
I said, thought, song, you don't know. I'm gonna teacher
to you and I have to worry. You know, we're
gonna we're gonna larn it together or whatever. She goes,
is that are real song? So I pull up those old.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Commercials, and she was like, dude.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
Really, what the hell is wrong with you? I'm like,
I don't know, man, I can't tell you. Just you know,
songs just pop in my head and just all of
a sudden, I get fixated out of them and things
like that too. So my wife had a noise or
two when I do it, because she'll put a song
on it. If I really like it, I'll just start
breaking out the song.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
It'd be so often. But I come into the word
in the morning and she's just like.
Speaker 4 (40:36):
This.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
She said, well, I heard you come in this morning.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
How so She's like, I heard you singing again this morning.
I'm like, oh, sorry, you know, I got caught and
gotten the tune in my head. You know, just it
was just going I can't get it out of there,
you know whatever. Jesus starts getting mad at me.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So all right.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
So my next question is, and the whole point in
this podcast is if you could break this stigma about
mental health. Now, any thing you've heard someone say that
just absolutely boils your blood. You're just like, stop, dude,
just stop believing this nonsense.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
What would it be?
Speaker 4 (41:12):
I think that that we're too old to heal? Like Oh,
I've been this way my whole life. I'm never gonna
get better. I'm never gonna heal like I had all
this terrible stuff that happened in my past. And I
don't believe that. I think that we can heal at
any age. I think that healing is possible for everyone.
(41:33):
And I think that's the thing that makes me most crazy.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Yeah, but let me touch on a little bit for you.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Do you think it's because the way that society or
someone in their families influenced them, because you know that
a lot of times it usually comes from the top.
Their grandparents sought their parents, their parents taught them, you know,
and things like that too. Do you think it's more
of a it's a it's an environment type thing. Is
that maybe that's what they grew up around, thinking, Okay,
well you're broken, the way you can help yourself?
Speaker 4 (41:58):
Yeah? I do. I do. I think often we are,
you know, taught to believe that, yeah, if you're broken,
that there's no fixing you. And one that's a very
sad way to look at mental health to me, like,
we're not broken, we're wounded, and can we heal wounds?
We absolutely can? And I believe it from the bottom
(42:20):
of my heart and I and you know, I think
it's also a lifelong process. Like if you start healing
at whatever age you are, you may not get to
a point. I'm not sure I'll ever be at a
point where I'm like, I'm healed, I'm done, I'm finished
with this journey, right It's it's it evolves as new
things come into our lives. We may have to address
(42:42):
different mental health issue struggles, right, But that doesn't mean
you're not growing and healing and moving forward, right right.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Well, I wanted to thank you as you start wrapping
up for coming.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I enjoyed having you here. When when is your podcast
still going? Are you on next season yet? How do
how do you release it usually?
Speaker 2 (43:04):
And where are you at?
Speaker 4 (43:06):
Yep? So I'm on all the platforms, but you can
find the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast on Apple or
wherever there are episodes up as you know, like for podcasting,
all the episodes are there. I will start recording new
interviews at the end of this month, so season six
(43:28):
will be starting probably by the end of September. Once
I have a bunch of episodes ready to go, interviews
ready to go. But there's lots over two hundred conversations
that are already there, so that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I'm thinking at like, god, I don't even know, man,
I'm at one hundred and fifty least and listen a year,
so I mean, but I've also done a lot of
I've been recording like three or four days. Sometimes it
depends like I just love the conversations. But thank you
so much for coming. I appreciate you being here. Well,
good luck on the next season. I think it'd be great. Guys,
you can tune in, Like she said, check her out,
go see what she said. And if anybody wants to
(44:03):
reach out to you, what's the best way from the
reach out to you? You want to go to your website.
I know you're everywhere.
Speaker 4 (44:08):
Yeah, yeah, probably my website's the best place to go.
It's Elizabethcush dot com. Cush is spelled with the C.
Often AI thinks it's spelled with a K, but it's not.
So if you go to Elizabethcush dot com, you'll find
the podcast, you'll find my coaching website, and that will
link you to my therapy website as well.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
Well, guys, that's gonna wrap up this episode. Of Pete
for its anxiety. Once again, thank you so much for coming.
I appreciate you being here as great. And no, we're
on a short little time to strain, so we know
she has to be somewhere, so we're gonna let her
go at this point.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Guys, well, I'm Pete for it his anxiety.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
I'm on everything, I'm on Spotify all the way down
at Heart Radio, I'm gonna X all the way down
to TikTok and as always says, it costs nothing, absolutely
nothing to be kind to somebody, one kind actor. You could,
you could save some life or hell, you can make
their day. I'm Pete for its anxiety, signing off saying, hey,
don't ask how your day is today, say hey, how's
your about to hold today
Hey, guys, it's Pete for Beef Anxiety here. Welcome in
today's episode. I appreciate all being here so much. Let's
talk about a few things real quick. The pe for
so Anxiety Team anxiety Facebook group. Are you a part
of it?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You're not?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
What are you waiting for? The links out here in
the description now below, or go to Facebook and search
pe for anxiety, then look for the team Anxiety team
page and join it. Today went on, you can join
the help it'll be great, Like right now, hurry up,
stop it doing paused video? Go do around. But anyways,
let's also talk about the p fors anxiety YouTube page.
You guys, if you're here right now, you're probably following
it most likely. If not, head on over there, subscribe
(00:35):
if you shure I don't like in comment on the
videos and let me know because all that suff really helps, guys,
I really appreciate it and help me break the stigma
that mental health is talked about enough. But anyways, guys,
let's get in today's episode. I'll be I'll have a
great one. Thank you so much again, and as always say,
don't ask your day is ask how your mental health
is today?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Guys, Welcome to an exciting episode of Pete for Its Anxiety.
My guest today is a licensed clinical professional counselor a
sole guide for highly sensitive women, a business owner in Maryland,
Deren Waller, and she's also the host of the Awaken
Your Wise Woman podcast. Please welcome in the one the
Only Elizabeth Koch.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
How you doing today?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
I'm doing well, hat Thanks for having me on your podcast, Pete.
I'm excited to be here, definitely.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
What would you let me a little bit more about
yourself and then we'll get into the get into your
podcast and all that great stuff.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
All right. Well, as you said, I'm a therapist and
a life coach or soul support for highly sensitive women.
I got into the work because I was a very
anxious person for most of my life, and once I
had kids, realize that it was important for me to
understand how to manage my own anxiety and stress. And
(01:41):
so went back to school and you know, got some
personal therapy and have you know, been kind of working
on managing the anxiety. Pretty much my whole life that
you know, feels like it's in a pretty good place
right now.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, mine's in a great place too.
But you know, that's the whole reason pete versus anxiety,
say a bottom anxiety every day, some days an adventure.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Yep, yep, it is. It is, so what sneaks in
when you're not expecting it?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
So what got you into you know, focusing mostly women
like highly sensitive women too, and even at that, it's
a very interesting topic to get into.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Yeah, well I learned later in life, probably my late forties,
maybe early fifties, that I was highly sensitive. So they're learning,
I think, more and more as more research is done
about high sensitivity. But it is considered a neurodivergent trait,
(02:42):
and so people who are highly sensitive feel and notice
sensory information at a much deeper level. So it could
be feelings, but it's also sensory all sensory stimuli like
sound and taste and touch, and so we're very deep processors.
(03:06):
We love, you know, going deep in conversation, but also
can feel very deeply as well. And so once I
learned more about it, I recognize that so many of
the clients that were reaching out to me also had
high sensitivity as well, and so I think probably my
(03:27):
website copy helped them feel seen or something. But you know,
so it drew a lot of highly sensitive people to me,
and so I've just continued to dive deeper into that
work with my clients because it feels really important to
validate them, but also to bring more awareness to what
(03:50):
being highly sensitive really mean. Though. Yeah, oh totally totally
pick up on others and for sure, yes, yes, very subtle.
I was thinking about this the other day. Just subtle
energy shifts and other people can really you know, it
(04:14):
can activate a lot inside yourself, right like you just
you're feeling it, but maybe you're not being able to
identify exactly what shifted or changed.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yeah, yeah, see, I'm in the same way. So that's
why I can relate to that, because that's how it
was too for me. It was this weird, tingling feeling.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Sorry, I'm not supposed to call it weird.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
If I met one of my guests, you told me,
don't call it weird because it's normal. But it was
like a weird It was like a tingling feeling, you know,
like you knew something was in the air, that something
was something was there, like you felt the presence of something.
And now it's when people get close enough to me,
I can feel if I don't like you. I got
a real nasty pit in my stomach, and you know,
it's this one of those things. I never could put
my finger on what it was. So I met a
(04:52):
few guys that do energy work and we were discussing
it and they were describing it to me, and I
was like, Okay, well, this is really fascinating because now
it makes sense because I can read the room a
lot of times, I can look at most people. I
could tell something's wrong a lot of times. You know,
it's just that energy they give off, you know. And
then the principle like the fact I have such a
small inner circle though, it's because those are the people
(05:13):
I want, and the other people that don't like my energy,
the people that tend to fall off eventually because they
just don't like what I'm giving out.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Yeah yeah, yeah, well, and I think and I don't
know if you're highly sensitive or not, but I think
too highly sensitive people tend to have a very close
knit circle of people they trust right to receive them,
but also to be in relationship with, because it's important
to feel safe and feel safe energetically with the people
(05:41):
that you're with.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah, no, I'm the same way though I really just
keep a small close circle of people. I let people
in the outer orbit. If you make it to the
inner circle, then you've really made it to a level
of trust. And that's hard for a lot of people
to get to because I don't keep a lot of
people in there, you know, and just because all the
things I've dealt with all my life, you know, my
expert trade me. So then it kind of really closed
the circle down. Then I was like, m yeah, I
(06:03):
don't trust a lot of people because how do I
know you don't have alternative motives and things like that too?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Totally? Oh yeah, well, and I think, like what's interesting
for me is that I think that because of my sensitivity,
you know that I you know, you're born with it,
that not everybody in my family really understood it. And
so it was often like, you know, you're too emotional,
(06:28):
or you're you know, you're you're making too much about this.
And so I think then in many ways that probably
contributed to my anxiety, you know, just like oh I
have to shut these feelings down of big emotions, or
being being overwhelmed by smells, or not liking particular food
because of texture, like feeling like I had to kind
(06:48):
of hamper down who I was, and I think that
kind of contributed to the anxiety that I carried.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, I don't know, I had a.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Real big texture thing. I've opened to try any kind
of foods.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You know.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I don't think any of that really affects me really
too much, but you know, I could see that though.
Most a lot of sensitive people like that though, And
I think that the problem is a lot of people
viewing me or they'll say, mostly for most women's say
oh they're crazy. Not necessarily, maybe it's the fact they are,
like you just said, they're over sensitive and they just
don't want to deal with your crap.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Maybe that's what it is, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
It's just like I just it's just so funny because
nearly stereotypical things guys say about women's, oh they're just
she's just crazy, or because you know, some girls are
very emotional, some aren't, you know, and it's just it's
not that they're they're crazy, it's just they're more in
tune their emotions than most people are, is what my
thoughts are. After doing a lot of these episodes, you know,
you start learning different things, and that's a lot of
things you start picking up on is that, you know,
(07:45):
sometimes it's not that the person is sensitive or ever,
it's it's the fact that they're just really in tune
their emotions totally.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Oh yeah, well, and I think that term of like,
oh that you know, woman is crazy is also a
way to kind of pigeonhole women as hysterical or overly
emotional versus just being who they are, right like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's how society works these days.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
We got to put plant labels on everything as if
not we we feel like it's a we got to
oust it out, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And it's just.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah, don't even get me start on social media either.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I just it's every day you're on your phone, it's
something new.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I know. I know it's true, it's true, it can
be can be overwhelming for sure, the social So.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
So what did you start your podcast?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I mean, I know, being a podcaster it's a lot,
you know, but I mean it had to be something
interesting in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Yeah. Well, actually, my my podcast started, uh in I
think the first episode launched in twenty eighteen, and my
goal at the time was to focus on anxiety for women,
so it was called woman worry not warriors, but warriors,
(09:02):
because women warrior a lunch and I like that dove
deep into just why so women are diagnosed with an
anxiety disorder twice as often as men, and so I
was like, all right, well, let's look at that. Why
is that? Is it just that more women are going
to therapy or entering into research, or is it that
(09:23):
there's really stuff happening for women that contributes overall to
them being more anxious than men. And so talking about
trauma and talking about high sensitivity and all the things
that can could contribute to anxiety. And I think that
was stayed the focus for about three years, and then
(09:48):
kind of as I evolved and as the conversations I
wanted to have evolved, I decided to shift to really
focusing the podcast on helping women live their best life
and so all the alternative forms of healing and and
(10:09):
you know, different types of therapies and just also adjusting
to life, you know, when your kids are older, stuff
like that. That. I just really wanted to make the
podcast more about that, and so I shifted it to
Awaken Your Wise Woman, excuse me? And yeah, and so
(10:29):
now we're on like the three years prior you know,
of Women War Ears was like one season and now
I will be recording season six starting later this fall,
So yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Going to continue this season right now. I've been going
since September last year. I've really missed like maybe one
or two weeks. We have enough interviews set up that
it just wouldn't even matter if I laid them all
out and probably into twenty twenty six, maybe twenty twenty seven,
possibly if you did it bi weekly. But there's such
a high demand for this conversation, it's crazy. I didn't
(11:05):
think like when I started mine it was just going
to blow up like it did, but it did. Like
my phone was going off so much. I didn't know
what to do. I was like, this thing just kept
going off. I'm like, what the hell all this deal
texted me?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Like I had like fifty plus people in the first
like day and a half that already messaged me that
wanted to sign up. The show was already booked the
end of the year by the second week or the
second or third week of the month I actually started,
because I started in September.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Going live on the network.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
I'm on now you know, and it was it was
just crazy to see how much demand. It's like, well,
damn all right, well maybe open another time stole to
see what happens. Maybe they'll just pick up some of
the overfloat. Nope, end of the year as well. So
you know, And it was crazy because come November, I'm
already out to July at twenty twenty five, and I'm
telling people this and people going, are you serious, I'm like, yeah,
only on Mondays, my weekly show usually committed to everything
(11:53):
what you still do and out to July now, and
they're like really, I'm like yeah. So at the beginning
of the year, I was like, you know what, I'm
just gonna pop up in the books a bit and
see what other conversations I can get into. And from
there it's been a great experience. Like you know, all
these different people I invite to come on, you get
all these different views and different conversations, and you find
a lot of interesting conversations that happened.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
A lot of times. You know, I've done like I
did an episode. I read it.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
I actually read the book of Price Camps Memore, a
woman had wrote, and I was like, you know, it
was really good.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I read the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I was like, this is great, and I said, it
got really wrong gritty, So like, I don't stir away
from any conversations here whatsoever. I go, I talk about everything.
Everybody's got something that I legitimately feel makes sense, Like
they don't go too extreme, like I've had a couple
of people a little extreme off the tangent. I was like, yeah,
I think we're going a little off our base of
what we're trying to do here. But I invite everybody
(12:43):
to come join this conversation. It's been great. Season wise. God,
I don't even how many can break to some season.
Maybe every year is gonna be a new season.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Well, and you know, not everybody does seasons. It just
worked for me because the amount of effort and work
that goes into doing a podcast and and like you said,
the booking and your time and getting the episodes up
and out, Like I realized that I needed to take
a break from my own stress and anxiety levels. So
now I take summers off for the most part. I'll
(13:14):
re release some episodes, but yeah, I'll take summers off
and then and then start new live you know, or
new brand new conversations again. In the fall. So yeah,
I think it's just different for everybody.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
And I do absolutely no planning half the time when
I talk to people too, So most of this is
just authentically me, which has.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Worked out just fine. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
I mean, I I keep a lot of conversations going
no problems. So I find it very interesting though when
people pick certain areas. I like it because I think
it's interesting because a lot of people go, oh, well,
they're only worried about men, or they're only about women.
It's like, but yeah, but think about what they're doing
for these different groups of people though, Like, you know,
these ladies need some help. She's focusing on what these
ladies need, like obviously she's fitting a niche.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
It's just like you know, anytime you're selling something to somebody,
it's like you got to fill a need for something.
It's always the thing they always tell you, Well, you
got to fill that gap or somebody needs something, you know,
And like yours is focusing on the high sensitive ladies.
Mine is mental health. And I cover pretty much every
topic and you know things like that too. And I
think a lot of people don't realize how much extra
work goes in because a lot of people tell me
(14:17):
whant to start a podcast, and then I give them
a list. I'm like, okay, well here's some things to
consider ted things on this list, and then they don't
come back and talk to you after it.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Well, I just read I just read a statistic that
most podcasts don't make it past episode eight. That people
will do eight episodes and that's it.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
There's eight.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Some say twenty. They don't make it past twenty either,
But I think twenty is shooting it for a lot
of people because once they get into it, they figure
out how much planning it takes. For some of these,
you know, and it's in you know, you got to
storyboard a lot of things and depending on what your
topic is, you know. And I tell people the same
thing always that I was always told by somebody who's
just stay consistent, Like if you're going to be on
a certain time unless you have to miss it for
(14:57):
some reason, you know, that's it. And that stay consistent
with when you're doing things like drop new episodes on
these days and things like that too, and all this
other different stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And you know, it's a lot of work. Man.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
People don't realize sounds work because feel asking if I
sleep and I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Know that either.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Yeah, it's a lot of work, but it is as
you said, it's really I find the conversations are what
keep me going, right. It's just it's really meaning to
meet people across the world that are doing great work
and have great stuff to share.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
So do you have any publications coming up? By chance?
Speaker 4 (15:34):
I don't. I've been considering. I write a blog, so
that is always being published. So yeah, so I do
a monthly blog. There was a time where I wrote
a weekly blog, but I can't keep up with that
now either. But yeah, so I do a monthly blog.
And just thinking about how I could use the stuff
(15:56):
I've written so far to either put into a booklet
or a book, but I just haven't taken a leap
yet to do that. But yeah, but mostly right about
mental health and sort of managing life as it arrives
on our doorstep, you know, things that can throw you
for a loop, in ways to help manage whatever might
(16:17):
come up along the way.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Yeah, right, Oh, no, I agree. Definitely another question I
think what it was now here it is.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Yeah, I'm very open.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yeah, okay, so my question for you is, I know
you noted as one of the questions you'll answer is
why self care isn't selfish and it's necessary. I think
this is a very interesting topic because every time you
bring it up, I think selfish is the biggest thing
you hear.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Do you have a feeling on why people think that
that's the reason?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Yeah, well, I think often our culture, it sort of
raises us, for many of us that at least live
here in the United States, that selfless is really what's important.
We should be focusing on other people's needs. You know,
that our needs should be subjugated to others. I think
(17:08):
for women in particular, that's a theme we hear from
young you know, young adulthood or whatever, even young young child.
You know, they that other people's needs matter more than ours.
And the thing is, like, if we're not taking care
of ourself, how are we going to take care of
(17:28):
anybody else? Right, Like, if we're if we're struggling, if
we are depressed or anxious, or have mental health issues,
and we're putting all our energy into taking other taking
care of other people, or even if we have an illness,
right that it's really hard to be a good caregiver
(17:48):
or even just be a good friend if we're struggling.
And so I think a lot of people see self
care as like I'm going to go away for a
weekend by myself, or I'm gonna go get I don't know,
a massage every week. But really it's the small steps
(18:11):
that matter the most in self care, like are you
eating healthy healthily? Are you hydrating? Are you I can't
tell you how many people I've talked to who will
tell me like, I don't think I ever ate anything
until I got home from work today, and I'm like,
you should be nurishishing yourself throughout the day, or like
(18:37):
oh yeah, Oftentimes I'll go like the whole day without
going to the bathroom. I'm like, how do you want?
I don't know how you do that? But two, like
that feels like you're not really paying attention to what's
happening inside your body, right, so you know, getting enough sleep,
Like that's a huge, huge fact or in mental health issues.
(19:01):
If you're not sleeping well, your body is never having
a chance to reset fully and like a computer sort
of rebooting, right. So the small pieces of you know, resting,
like say during the day, take them home and then
lay down for ten minutes. A lot of people really
(19:23):
have a hard time with making them making their own
care a priority, and I think that needs to change.
I feel like we really need to encourage everyone to
be taking good care themselves.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah, I agree, it'll kill us, right yeah, No, I agree.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
If you don't take time to worry about yourself, you're
going to break down and then you're just not gonna
be good to anybody at that point. And it'll make
them sense, you know, like you could worry about all
these other people, but it's like, what are you doing
for yourself at the end of the day.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
Yeah, and it makes you that much better able to
be there for other people if we're if we're coming
at them with our own stress, we're really not that much.
We're not being that helpful, you know, if we can't
meet them with a full heart and full energy. Right.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
So my next question though, for you though, is kind
of in the same realm. It's, you know, building a
loving relationship with yourself. You know a lot of people
don't like themselves. What tips can you give them to
try and treat themselves better? Because you know there's some
people out there just hate themselves, do all that negative
self talk to themselves. And I don't like that, Like,
I don't agree to the whole negative self talking. Anthony, say,
start doing that. I'm like you, No, no, we don't
(20:37):
do that here. We don't do that kind of stuff here.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Yeah, No, you're I think that's part of self care do, right,
is to be kind to yourself and treat yourself like
you would the other people in your life. But you're right.
I think that we've learned from an early age that
being critical or treating ourselves with like sort of tough
(21:00):
love is the way to make us feel more motivated
or something. But often at that backfires. Right, If we're
yelling at ourself or criticizing ourselves all the time, that
can just one create a lot of anxiety, but it
also can just shut you down so you don't want
to do anything. It's not motivating at all. And I
(21:22):
think research is showing that if we can meet ourselves
with compassion and care and kindness when we make mistakes
or when things don't go well, that we're much more
likely to be able to move beyond them and do
things differently the next time. Right, Like I can remember
(21:48):
when I first started out as a therapist and talking
with my I'm forgetting what they're called, but like a mentor,
so she's a supervisor. And I felt like a session
where the client hadn't gone really well and I was
really dumping a lot of criticism on myself, like oh,
(22:11):
I should have, should have And she's suggested, I don't
know if you're familiar with Kristin Neff. She's a psychologist
but has done a lot of work on self compassion.
She has a book and a website and does a
lot of trainings and stuff. And she suggested I look
into that and like the whole concept of treating myself
(22:36):
like my best friend. I was like, what, Like that
can't be that, that's not real? And it shifted. It
changed so much for me, Like I began practicing to
meet myself with kindness, with compassion when I felt that
sort of self critical part chiming in, like okay, I
(22:58):
hear that it thinks it's helping, and you know, can
I be kinder to myself in this moment? Can I
recognize that maybe I didn't do the do you know,
maybe I wasn't as nice as I could have been
to that person, but I know I can do it
better next time, right, like instead of like you piece
of poop, like what the hell are you doing? Like
(23:19):
you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah, thinking answered whatever word you like in there for
that one. But yeah, no, I get that though. I
get the idea of being a teammate with your body
because if you don't work with your body, your body's
will work against you and you'll start breaking down and
all these other things, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
And I learned that early on.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Man, I did not take care of great care of myself.
And now I deal with a lot of problems now,
but I get through it. I mean it gets better
every day, you know. I just you know, it's just
getting it done is the is the part. It's just
hard for me. Sometimes I procrastinate a lot of times
I do things. I'm just like, yeah, I'll get around
to it eventually, and that I don't and I'm like, yeah,
I'll do that tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
It's it's just you know, but it makes sense though.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I mean, you're a team either way you look at it,
because if you're not taking care of yourself, how are
you going to get yourself where you want to be?
Speaker 4 (24:02):
You know? At the same time, yeah, absolutely, and I think.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
That's altered the category two of self compassion and why
we need it though, He's like, if you don't have
self compassion for yourself, it doesn't make any sense, you.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Know what I mean. Yeah, Well, I mean you are
your best resource, right, I mean your body, your heart,
your soul is your most valuable resource, and we often
treat it like like it doesn't matter, like it's just
sort of I don't know, like not real somehow.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
So I have a question for you, though, So, if
somebody's in a relationship with somebody that happens to be
highly sensitive, what are some tips you can give them
to help better better deal with them. Sometimes it may
be a little too much for people, you know, maybe
give them little tips like, hey, listen, these are some
things you can do to make it easier, or things
you should you know, look out for, to make sure
you can try and be in front of it. Be
(24:58):
in front of it so you can try and manage
it so it does get out of hand.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Yeah, that's a great question. So I think one of
the best things you can do is to get a
better understanding of what being highly sensitive is and recognize
through you know, learning that it's a biological trade. It
isn't something we choose to to do or not do.
(25:23):
It's or feel or not feel. It's just who we are.
How you know, how highly sensitive people are. So there's
a I think it's called hsp HSP or hsperson dot
org has a lot of research and and if you
(25:43):
think you might be highly highly sensitive, there's a quiz
there that you can take. But it just provides a
lot of sort of openness about what it means to
be highly sensitive. But also yeah, and and to recognize
that this isn't necessarily a choice. It's just who we are.
But each person who was highly sensitive has different variations
(26:07):
of the trait, right like for me as a kid,
tactile like touch stuff. I was super sensitive to different
types of fabrics, how clothes felt on my body. And
I think it cost a lot of distress for my
mother because she never knew what was going to work
or what wasn't, so getting dressed each day was a struggle.
(26:31):
I think if she had better understood, you know, my
personal sensitivities, it would have helped a lot in our relationship.
But also it wasn't very well known back then, so
you know, and maybe not known at all. I think
it was the eighties where it really became more more
grounded in research. And yeah, but you think.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
About it though, because where you were a child mental
health is different versus today. If you look at oh,
I'm sure you've seen a major change in things like
that because they didn't know a lot back then. I
know that much, you know, from this conversation of having
their people, it's like, if you're compared the two, it's like,
who man, the things that they thought to what they
know now. It just makes you laugh because you're like, well, wow, damn,
(27:14):
I didn't know. We didn't we didn't know this, but
that's really what it was, you know, I know, like
shell shock used to be PTSD and now I was
told that they're trying to change PTSD to PTI, which
is post traumatic injury pleases that they were saying it
was going to be things that too, so you know,
and I was like, okay, well that was interesting, you know.
You know, but they're always try to change all the acronyms.
Well you know, I mean they did it with what
(27:35):
was it, multiple personality sorders now the ID instead, and
they changed that one around, and it was just like, okay,
well get it. Because multiple personality sort of kind of
gives off a little different different than what it actually was.
And I think I love the point where you point
out that it's different in everybody because when you come
to different people, you meet with these different diagnoses and things,
you find that each one of them deal with different things.
(27:56):
You know, you could read these things in a book
all day, but when this person's physically in front of you,
they show different traits versus everybody else. And I thought
that was always interesting because we've had some people on
the show with interesting characteristics like that, Like you had
multiple people have HADVPD, and if you ask each one
of them, they all had a different, different answer to
how it affects them. Like you know, one said she
questioned herself every single day she gets some questions.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Help in the mirror.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
The other one had a different answer. This wasn't a
different answer, you know, and it was it was so
unique because it was so interesting because it's like, Okay,
well that's interesting to see because you could read these
in a book all day, but now you have the
physical person in front of you. This is even better
because now you can see and you can show other
people to go, hey, listen just because she has BBD
or he has BBD. It's different for each person that
they get different.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Things absolutely well. And I think the more we learn
about mental health, the greater I feel like understanding we
have for it. As you said, it's a different free person.
But also, you know, sort of the whole diagnostic area
(29:01):
can feel for some people, it can be a relief
like Okay, now I know I understand myself better and
what I need to do to work on myself. But
they are also downsides to the diagnosis too, you know,
because there can be especially with like like d id right,
that you may may frighten somebody to hear that this
(29:24):
person has you know, learned how to dissociate, you know,
because of trauma and reality is it's just like we all,
I believe, we all have different parts of ourselves, like
we have our self, our soul, and then depending on
(29:46):
how we were raised and what experiences we had through childhood,
different parts of us get activated, either in a more
extreme way or less extreme way. So I had an
incredibly loud, high critical part for a long time until
I learned to understand that it was really just trying
to help me navigate the world right and didn't want
(30:08):
me to get hurt or make mistakes. And so that
has quieted down now that I've been working on self compassion.
But I think what's interesting is there's a type of therapy,
a model of therapy called internal family systems, which is
(30:28):
really about working with our childhood parts and our inner
child and are all of the parts that within us
that work to make us function in the world in
a way that helps us feel like we're on top
of things, you know, and sometimes they're extreme.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
But what makes you different other forms of therapy though,
I mean, I have what's the difference from everything else?
So give people an example, so you know what the
declare the differences are between them.
Speaker 4 (30:58):
Yeah, So with intern family systems, there isn't a they
shy away from or have moved away from diagnoses. Right,
So say, for instance, a person with bipolar disorder. In
internal family systems, they see that person as a collection
(31:21):
of parts, right, like a system of parts. And so
within bipolar disorder, you may have a part that's more
impulsive and risk taking but also has moments of also
have parts that can be really depressed or sad, and
(31:42):
these parts learned how to navigate the world, probably from
a chaotic childhood. So there are wounded parts that are
beneath these more extreme parts that need healing. So basically
the model of the therapy works with all the parts
that are out they're protecting us, like maybe are extreme
(32:04):
what they call firefighter parts, but like the addictive parts
that turn to substances to help us numb, or the
dissociative parts that kind of take us out of everyday
life because it's just too painful. They see all those
parts as super helpful, like there are no bad parts,
and when we learn to work with them within our
(32:25):
own system and often with the help of a therapist,
it creates a more balanced system. So those parts are
still there, they're just not quite as extreme, and so
through that process you then eventually get to those very
wounded childlike parts that have kind of been pushed aside
(32:48):
or isolated because their feelings were just too extreme, too deep,
too hurtful, too painful. And so then healing those wounds
zans from those child parts releases the system to feel
in a way more at ease because those pin points
(33:10):
have been healed that have been stored away for such
a long time, if that makes sense. So the model
is really seeing you as a whole person. There's a
whole system of parts, none of which you are bad,
but as we get to know them and understand them
in kind, compassionate ways, it sues the whole system to
(33:34):
function in a way that feels more integrated.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like it. Though.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
I like the idea that they don't do anything with
diagnosis because I feel like sometimes people take and run
with it.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
They'll just say, oh, that's.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
All I'm you know, use it as an excuse a
lot of times, Well, you know, I have anxiety. That's
why I can't do this. I'm like, but is it
really though, I think that's just what you're dealing with
versus an actual you know, what is identifies you. Because
I feel like a lot of people take and run
with it a little too much, and it's just it's
it's like you gotta stop, like it's it's something you
deal with. It's not something that owns you, and it's
(34:10):
not your identity as a person.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
And I feel like too many people do that.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Yeah, just sort of over identifying with the diagnosis.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Yeah, no, they run like, oh, I can't do this
because I'm I have too much PTSD or something, you
know what I mean, like people just there's somebody that
use it and make it look bad for other people.
So many people start coming in contact with these things
like oh great, here goes another one kind of thing,
you know. And I think that's where the Internet makes
it worse though, because then you got all these people
out there giving out all this advice, and it's like
(34:38):
your first question should be ask credentials, like what are
your condenials for giving me advice?
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Right now?
Speaker 3 (34:44):
You know, it's great that everybody has an opinion, but
when you start trying to tell me what to do.
If you started off, well, this is my opinion, Okay,
it's different. But if you just start spouting things out
and you you've given out some advice to these people,
you better have some credentials because other than that, you're
you're falsely identifying as somebody you're not. You don't have
any idea what you're talking about, and then you're giving
them bad information and all these other people have all
(35:05):
these problems, and then it's just like it just cycles
out of control like an endless spiral, and it's just
it's it's horrible, It really is. I think social media
people take a little listen to what too many people say,
especially health influence guys like I watch all these videos
all day, see.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
All the time, come fross my timeline.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
The things these guys are saying is just crazy, like
they're just all about things.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, because they fearmonger a lot of times.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
If you're mongering a lot of stuff, you know, a
lot of them are like, oh, don't buy this by
this product. I'm I'm invested in this product, so you
should go buy this.
Speaker 4 (35:34):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Well, and just the lure of becoming
an influencer, you know, to be the voice of whatever
it is, it is a little scary. Like you said,
so what are your qualifications? How do you How did
you get to be the person that influences my health
or whatever it might be, my mental health.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
I think it's just it's just crazy that you know.
Then then the subjec I don't know if you've heard
about this. So chat GPT came up in a conversation
I had with doctor Fujane and I we were talking
about this. She told me this incident where chat GPT
was talking, where somebody was talking to chat gpt typing
some things in and apparently this person was dealing with
suicide alliation, so this conversation got interesting quick. So apparently
(36:18):
in the conversation, the person said the chat GPT basically
told them I was giving a list of ways of
how to commit suicide. I was like, what are you
doing chat GPD?
Speaker 4 (36:28):
No, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean there's definitely yeah scary.
I think chat GIPT or any AI can be helpful
given this, however, you choose to use it right right,
And it should not be your therapist. It shouldn't be
your best friend.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
Like.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Joel Listener. She said, it should not be your therapys.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
This is coming from a license purs to tell you
that that is not your therapist. Stop doing that stupid
tick doctrine, because you know that's where it always starts,
TikTok or somebody starts doing it, and then everybody starts
wanting to do it too, and it's just like, God,
please stop doing it, because that's the situation we run into.
And you know, doctor Vagina had her own app and
she was like, I have AI built in mind, but
she said that was something I was trying to avoid happening,
(37:15):
Like she was like I'm blocking the way to get
to these these kinds of things am happening. And I
was like, that was so fascinating when she told me that,
because I was like what, I was like, I haven't
heard about that yet, you know, and everything else looked
at it too, and it made me laugh because.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I'm like, you know, hey, uh yeah, like you.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Didn't really think people were gonna go do chat GBT,
but you forget. You know, people use the influence by things.
They see these big, big influences and go, well, hip,
he's doing it. Why can't I do it too? And
I'm just like, no, stop the sheep like mentality, please.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
Well, and chat GPT or any AI is only as
good as the information it's fed, right, And so if
it goes down a dark hole. There's a lot of
darkness on the internet, you know what I mean. So
we have to be mind full of you know, how
can we use it in productive, healthy ways, which I
(38:07):
think there are probably some really good benefits to it
in terms of easing workflow and stuff like that, but
it's not a human.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
All right, Well, we're going to get to the part
of the show we normally get till later on. But
Liz has somewhere to be here in a little bit,
so we're gonna get to We're to jump to the
really interesting questions. A question I ask comes in from
a friend of mine who runs a shop podcast called
The Shit That Goes On in Our Heads. When he
she and I interviewed, her question to me was, Pete,
if your mental health had a song, what would your
song be? So my question used the same thing. If
(38:37):
your mental hold haad a song, what would that song be?
Everybody loves this question. I'm telling you everybody loves this
question too.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
H Well, it's funny because I think my brain uses
songs to send me messages about where my mental health is.
So sometimes I wake up in the middle of the
night with a song playing in my head. Remember what
song was playing in my head two nights ago, which
oh would not stop. It's my mental health right now. God,
(39:12):
my brain is not clicking with songs right now. You
can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get
what you need.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
There you go, there you go.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
I like that one, No see, because I asked you
that question and they all have the same songs.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
They're like, Man, that's a good question. I know, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
It's really interesting to hear people's responses because when I
did mine, I gave them many different answers.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
But it changes.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
But I have that same thing though, Like I'm always
there's some song always playing in my head. At some
point it was just starting to grab it and just click,
and I'll just start randomly singing out loud all of
a sudden, because I work overnights, so like I work
all night most nights, you know, except for Mondays and
Tuesdays or Sundays. And Money's my day's office. So when
I'm there, I'm usually just outbursting songs. And this one
girl I work with, she goes, is that even a song?
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah? Here you go?
Speaker 3 (39:57):
It was the Armor hot Dog song was one of
my I caught my I don't know where this one
came from, but I was like, Armor Arbor. I just
started singing across ther She's like, what are you singing?
I said, thought, song, you don't know. I'm gonna teacher
to you and I have to worry. You know, we're
gonna we're gonna larn it together or whatever. She goes,
is that are real song? So I pull up those old.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Commercials, and she was like, dude.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
Really, what the hell is wrong with you? I'm like,
I don't know, man, I can't tell you. Just you know,
songs just pop in my head and just all of
a sudden, I get fixated out of them and things
like that too. So my wife had a noise or
two when I do it, because she'll put a song
on it. If I really like it, I'll just start
breaking out the song.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
It'd be so often. But I come into the word
in the morning and she's just like.
Speaker 4 (40:36):
This.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
She said, well, I heard you come in this morning.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
How so She's like, I heard you singing again this morning.
I'm like, oh, sorry, you know, I got caught and
gotten the tune in my head. You know, just it
was just going I can't get it out of there,
you know whatever. Jesus starts getting mad at me.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So all right.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
So my next question is, and the whole point in
this podcast is if you could break this stigma about
mental health. Now, any thing you've heard someone say that
just absolutely boils your blood. You're just like, stop, dude,
just stop believing this nonsense.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
What would it be?
Speaker 4 (41:12):
I think that that we're too old to heal? Like Oh,
I've been this way my whole life. I'm never gonna
get better. I'm never gonna heal like I had all
this terrible stuff that happened in my past. And I
don't believe that. I think that we can heal at
any age. I think that healing is possible for everyone.
(41:33):
And I think that's the thing that makes me most crazy.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Yeah, but let me touch on a little bit for you.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Do you think it's because the way that society or
someone in their families influenced them, because you know that
a lot of times it usually comes from the top.
Their grandparents sought their parents, their parents taught them, you know,
and things like that too. Do you think it's more
of a it's a it's an environment type thing. Is
that maybe that's what they grew up around, thinking, Okay,
well you're broken, the way you can help yourself?
Speaker 4 (41:58):
Yeah? I do. I do. I think often we are,
you know, taught to believe that, yeah, if you're broken,
that there's no fixing you. And one that's a very
sad way to look at mental health to me, like,
we're not broken, we're wounded, and can we heal wounds?
We absolutely can? And I believe it from the bottom
(42:20):
of my heart and I and you know, I think
it's also a lifelong process. Like if you start healing
at whatever age you are, you may not get to
a point. I'm not sure I'll ever be at a
point where I'm like, I'm healed, I'm done, I'm finished
with this journey, right It's it's it evolves as new
things come into our lives. We may have to address
(42:42):
different mental health issue struggles, right, But that doesn't mean
you're not growing and healing and moving forward, right right.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Well, I wanted to thank you as you start wrapping
up for coming.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I enjoyed having you here. When when is your podcast
still going? Are you on next season yet? How do
how do you release it usually?
Speaker 2 (43:04):
And where are you at?
Speaker 4 (43:06):
Yep? So I'm on all the platforms, but you can
find the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast on Apple or
wherever there are episodes up as you know, like for podcasting,
all the episodes are there. I will start recording new
interviews at the end of this month, so season six
(43:28):
will be starting probably by the end of September. Once
I have a bunch of episodes ready to go, interviews
ready to go. But there's lots over two hundred conversations
that are already there, so that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I'm thinking at like, god, I don't even know, man,
I'm at one hundred and fifty least and listen a year,
so I mean, but I've also done a lot of
I've been recording like three or four days. Sometimes it
depends like I just love the conversations. But thank you
so much for coming. I appreciate you being here. Well,
good luck on the next season. I think it'd be great. Guys,
you can tune in, Like she said, check her out,
go see what she said. And if anybody wants to
(44:03):
reach out to you, what's the best way from the
reach out to you? You want to go to your website.
I know you're everywhere.
Speaker 4 (44:08):
Yeah, yeah, probably my website's the best place to go.
It's Elizabethcush dot com. Cush is spelled with the C.
Often AI thinks it's spelled with a K, but it's not.
So if you go to Elizabethcush dot com, you'll find
the podcast, you'll find my coaching website, and that will
link you to my therapy website as well.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
Well, guys, that's gonna wrap up this episode. Of Pete
for its anxiety. Once again, thank you so much for coming.
I appreciate you being here as great. And no, we're
on a short little time to strain, so we know
she has to be somewhere, so we're gonna let her
go at this point.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Guys, well, I'm Pete for it his anxiety.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
I'm on everything, I'm on Spotify all the way down
at Heart Radio, I'm gonna X all the way down
to TikTok and as always says, it costs nothing, absolutely
nothing to be kind to somebody, one kind actor. You could,
you could save some life or hell, you can make
their day. I'm Pete for its anxiety, signing off saying, hey,
don't ask how your day is today, say hey, how's
your about to hold today
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