Take Action Now: Starve Your Inner Negativity Beast with Don't Feed the Trolls Feat. Mike Jenkins

Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
It's week nine and it is June, best time a year because my birthday
is this month. This episode isanother episode from my Crib, because I'm
always at the Crib, featuring myboy New York's Find This Jersey Fine,
It's My Bad Mike t Jensen Jenkins, and he offers a lot of insight,

(00:27):
a lot from using scripture and personalexperiences, because this episode centers around
conquering the internal dialogue in the battlewithin, and I make reference to like
the inner Goliath, and I hadsaid on my Instagram a little while ago
that this is the season that severalGoliaths will be like Slate, and I
think it's good because a lot oftimes we let our thoughts dictate everything,

(00:50):
and it should, but we letthe negative thoughts override the good stuff.
And so this episode talks about howto combat that and how to go about
that, and also personal experiences fromboth people Meet and Mike about how,
you know, how it's affected ourlives and ways that we fixed it.
Of course, to give you sometips on how to conquer that, especially
in the age of social media whereit's a lot of comparison going on,

(01:12):
it's a lot of you know,comments made on social media that can make
you feel like you're not doing enoughwhen you're doing exactly what you're supposed to
do at the right time. Sodefinitely a good episode at a good few
laughs in here, and a lotof gems drop. So tap in episode
nine, I had so many differenthang ups with my father because I was

(01:57):
so angry at him. We wentthrough so much and I would just go
at him back and forth and Iwasn't open to him. But the more
you begin to write, so let'srevisit what I said earlier, when I
had said I didn't like this latterhalf of that quote, which words says
the first quote that I read earlier, if y'all don't remember, was conquering.

(02:17):
Internal dialogue is not about silence andthe voice you hear. This about
learning to listen without being controlled byall Right, y'all, what's going on?
Is your boy? Easy bank over? What's up? Y'all? Soul
today it's a little different, allright now? Yeah, I used to
hear ads run through my stuff forother people. All right, this is
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(02:38):
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(03:00):
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know I'm miss song and also youcan reach out to me at the Prodigy
Perspective at gmail dot com. Wecan take her all of that for YouTube.
Peace, I'm back and except psafsAnd just like that, we're back

(03:35):
for another week. And y'all thisepisode what nine nine? It's crazy,
Like I feel like I was justpreparing for this season and we almost at
the episode the tenth mark on thetenth episode, and feel pretty good about
that. This season has been doinggood. Last week's episode, I ain't

(03:57):
gonna lie. I knew it wasgonna do. What to do? Like
I said, no shade to anyparents out there. I'm not trying to
bam off, y'all. I'm justbeing a hundred like you get to a
point, which if you didn't listento episode eight, it was a solo
episode, but listen to it justbriefly for those that don't know, I
covered as far as you know myniche, I covered you know, being

(04:21):
okay, getting to the point atthis age where you stop seeking validation from
your parents or every decision that youmake. So you know, I tried
to honestly when doing the script,I tried to throw in like for two
jokes for every like truth because Ididn't want like it to be like I'm

(04:41):
just bashing parents and oh I hatemy parents or what I'm like that,
because that's not the case, andI'm not wasn't just necessarily talking about mine.
I was talking about things that I'veseen, heard TV, you know,
real life. So it was justall over the place from that angle.
But I think we got the messageacross anyway. So for this week's
this week's episode is gonna be alittle different in a sense. You could

(05:06):
say this episode it's kind of likethe sister episode in a small way,
but this one is talking about,you know, battling that internal dialogue.
The inner dialogue, and when wethink of that, we instantly think of
like, you know, because I'vehad two different episodes addressing suicide in two
different ways, but this one ismore so just the inner thought, which

(05:29):
ultimately I feel like if you don'ttrain it early, it can ultimately like
it's like one of those balls goingdown to hell where just grow, grow,
grow, and it is this bigold thing and it by the end
it's too late because you know,you just let it get out of control.
So far, get too deep in. Let's get into the week.
This week's mean, all right,So the mean week reads Taking on your
inner dialogue is like taking on golife, but instead of a sling in a

(05:53):
rock, you just need a goodsense of human in a strong sense of
self worth. A lot of timesI've realized people don't know themselves all the
way. And you know, againI said before, they don't happen overnight.
But I think when you truly knowyourself for real, the inner the
inner voices can they'll be real.But when you know yourself, it's kind

(06:16):
of you'll be able to like thumpit off, if that makes sense,
all right. The inspiration for thisweek comes from a quote. It says,
conquering the internal dialogue is not aboutsilence in the voice in your head.
It's about learning to listen to withoutbeing controlled by it. I'm a
little hesitant with that second half,and I'm gonna actually get into that later

(06:38):
on. And then the other itsays, by Christian author Sarah Young,
wrights reject negative thought as they comeinto your mind and then replace them with
positive thoughts. Okay, so again, I like that one better, but
I'm gonna get into the first onea little later on. But first,
let me get into the segment happyHour. All right, So real quick,

(06:59):
I want to talk about, youknow, just real quick, these
thoughts and things have been going on. So if we talk about what's been
going on in the news or justin the media. I guess a lot
of this stuff in the media,we know it's fabricated, it's propaganda,
and it makes those voices, Ifeel like, in some cases worse.
Now. I'm not trying to comeat you with the whole you know,

(07:23):
the people like, oh, theconspiracy theory thing. You know, I
know how you girls like to tussle, But with that a lot of times
they be true. Though, ifyou really pay attention. If you really
recall, you look back, rememberwhen they said, Jeffrey Epstein that Island
was a conspiracy theory, and thenthey had a whole documentary about it.
So just hear the stuff that they'resaying now and give it five to ten

(07:44):
more years, if that long,and see what happens. That's my thing.
Now, when it happens, y'allgonna go pour this clip up and
then we're gonna you know what I'msaying, which is what I want you
to do. But and I honestlythough, for real, I really believe
that certain things can trigger things.And now I have to call myself to

(08:07):
the carpet. Anybody who knows me. No, I like playing Resident Evil,
right. I know it's terrible,and it easily can bring fear in.
And you know, you're looking aroundyour corner and you know you wonder
why you're hearing creeks that night.Not let this stuff, and I'm all
about taking, you know, controlof my atmosphere in my area. I'm
all for that, but it's justI'm gonna get I'm gonna let it go

(08:30):
one day, but it'd be fun. But again, you know, I
like to call myself to the carpetin that angle. From the standpoint of
you know, if I was extremelyfearful, and for those that may be,
and you may live in fear andcan't sleep, you know a certain
way, maybe it is due toyou watching a bunch of horror movies and

(08:52):
things like that, because it's like, why I get the rush. But
if you want to rush, youdon't on a roller coaster. That's a
healthy rush. Besides that, onetime I went to the rodeo. So
you know, Houston had a rodeoevery year, and I was on a
rodeo, y'all. First of all, somebody made the joke to myself,
I don't get on rides out ofsuitcases. But I was on the highest
ride or whatever, and I'm holdingon to the thing, y'all. I'm

(09:16):
up high, highlight. You couldsee the whole city high. You know,
Houston ain't no small city. SoI'm up high high and so I'm
up there and the things start comingup a little bit. So I'm up
there like this, Oh, no, for dear life, because I'm like,
no, I'm not just I'm notdown on a roller coaster. No,
no, that's not happening. Thereain't no freak accident now, And

(09:39):
knowing me, I'd be the onethat be even fell off, and then
they'd be the testimony. I'd bethen lived and told everybody to tell and
be doing seminars and stuff about Ifell off a roller coaster and here's my
story that that would happen. Thatwould be me because I wouldn't die it
easy. But still, you know, it's just it's a wild thing.
Let me put this down. Looklike Cameron Bright, so now it looks

(10:01):
to it. So now the otherthing. I want to talk about the
things with these thoughts, right,So sometimes they be lying to you.
You know, the thoughts may saystuff like, you know, oh you're
a liar, you're a loser,you're broke, you ugly, you're fat,
you're messy, and some of thosethings might be true. But watch

(10:24):
this. You have to learn tospeak to yourself from the future angle versus
in the present moment, and that'snot always easy to do. And sometimes
people don't put the work in.That's a whole other episode because sometimes people
have had these decrees and affirmations anddon't put the work. It'd be twenty
years went by you and said youwas gonna lose twenty pounds twenty years ago.
Ain't lost the pound yet. Yougot to put the work behind it.

(10:46):
But like I said, we don'tget it. That's we kind of
discussed it before. We said itfor another time. But I think that
the main thing with that is honestlyjust knowing to speak for the future and
then work as if you already haveit although it ain't gonna be there yet.
You have to train your mind andstop seeing yourself a certain way and
also which I don't want to getto hit of myself. Get away from

(11:07):
people who see you in the wayyou don't want to be seeing them more
and again unless you're doing what they'resaying you're doing. Stop saying, Oh,
I don't want to be called missy, but you're stirring up miss Every
time you go to lunch, youfeel like you're gonna loveing hip hop.
So maybe there's something you need tofix. And you know, when I
think of Inner Dialogue, I instantlythink of you know, we talked about

(11:28):
suicide several times. I'll tell peopleall the time I overcame suicide ideation.
Unfortunately lost homeboard to suicide August twentytwenty one. No one saw it coming.
But you know, with that,like I said earlier, it's like
that ball going down the heel andthe start won't whale and just roll and

(11:48):
to come to some major if it'snot checked, and you know, it's
Unfortunately, he didn't feel you know, he didn't. He didn't feel comfortable
to talk about it. But Ican relate because it was one point I
was that I was similar to that. But you know, as long as
moving forward, I can hopefully andI said, I can't save nobody,
but hopefully I can keep having aconversation like this to make it a lot

(12:09):
of people are doing it this thesedays, but to really open up the
door, keep that line of communicationopen, I should say, all right,
so now I'm about to introduce myguests today, so I don't want
to say this now. They youknow, they're always doing reboots, and
so I heard through the grape vinethat they was doing a reboot of the

(12:33):
famous Jet Jackson and I got him, the dude who's gonna play him in
the reboot, and he's here today. What's going on, my boy?
What's going on? What is up? Man? You got me over here
cracking up? Right backstage. Iwas like, and the funny part is

(12:54):
some of that stuff we don't getthat. But anyway, I know you're
a very big person, bro,Man, I definitely appreciate. It's been
a long time coming. Man.You know, we bros. And it's
a pleasure to be here on today. Bro, It's really a pleasure.
Man. So I said this everyweek, I gotta say it again.
The visual people can see who youare, but for my audio only,

(13:16):
can you tell the people your name? Where are you from and where do
you live current? Okay, myname is Mike Jenkins. I am from
North New Jersey and I live inNorth New Jersey currently now, so that's
where I'm from, you know,baby nor New Jersey. All right,

(13:39):
now, tell the people what itis you do. You're there, yeah,
yeah, I'm having a little freezeover here. It was freezing.
Go ahead and say what you're saying. Tell the people what I said.
Tell the people what it is youdo for a living? Okay, Well
for work, I'm an Amazon driver. I've been in delivery for about three

(14:00):
years. I started at UPS,didn't work my way over to Amazon.
I'm looking to work my way intotech right now. So That's what I'm
really looking forward to. But otherthan that, as far as any other
workings go, social media influencer,I do a lot of different things.
I'm a videographer, I'm a photographer, Um, you know, do social

(14:22):
media, consultation, hearing it.So there's a few different things that I
do. Writer, you know,I direct some, so it's a it's
a it's a lesson things actor.Uh yeah, all of that good stuff.
Man. Okay, So now withthat, you say you direct,
you right, and you know Idon't like people telling stuff before it's done.

(14:46):
So is there anything that you've writtenor film that's already out there people
can tap into yet or is itkind of lot still? You know,
it's just gonna pop out when it'ssupposed to. It's it's gonna pop out
when it's supposed to. You know. Me for myself personally, it's not
something that I already made that's outthere. Some more collapsing, you know,

(15:07):
because my art background coming from youknow, film and different things like
that. So I would work withpeople helping produce, help and direct,
you know. Also becoming a writer. Uh yeah, I wrote. I
wrote a script actually a few yearsago and it was it was around the
town. Creed came out and itwas kind of like my version of kind

(15:28):
of like maybe a different spin onCreed or Creed two. But I never
really, you know, got tofinish that script because you know, it
was it was a really really goodscript, and my teacher helped me,
you know, put that thing together, but it was just pieces that needed
to be put together, and itwas it was a little difficult. But
yeah, definitely, I think Iwant to do it short this year,

(15:52):
possibly by the end of this year, so we could be looking out for
that, maybe one, maybe oneor two short films this year. So
yeah, okay, we love tosee it. So before we get into
that, I wanted to say somethingbecause you talked about like you started something.
It was kind of like Creed,you know, before I got to
like creating my own and writing myown stuff and that this one, I

(16:15):
should have known I was brilliant andI had a gift the younger. You
laugh, I'm serious, I believeyou blieve, But so I was.
When I was younger, I usedto play all the games and stuff,
and you know, I never,like I played some sports games, but
I always even as a kid,I like games with stories and my parents.

(16:37):
I don't know if you ever heardof a game called Metal Gear and
my parents. Yeah, my parentsused to let me play. They probably
shouldn't have, but I had likethat game because the game it was so
advanced for a little kid to beplaying and beating and all that stuff.
A lot of stuff when I lookback at old videos of it, I
missed a lot of stuff at thattime. But I don't know if it

(16:59):
kind of help me with like expandingmy capacity to think, because I always
had like a a large like youknow, and so like I remember playing
games and like I was always becauseI obviously couldn't, you know, write
my own or whatever. I couldtake. Yeah, um, I always
like created like a character, likeI would be like if I was in

(17:21):
this game, would I be doing? And I did that. Well now
I'm middlere because I was like Iwas a kid, so I'm like,
it wouldn't even make sense. ButI was like Kingdom Hearts. I used
to do that with Kingdom Hearts andI did, and they're working on four
right now, so I got toget a PS five. But manum what
else? And then um Tech andAged did that with that too. I

(17:47):
used to like create my own likewhat would I be, you know,
and yeah, I wish I hitsthe head. Well actually I never wrote
it down. It was I wassin my head. But that was training
for what's going on now, soit was needed. Yeah, definitely.
All right, So what's my nextquestion? So can you tell us about
your journey as an advocate for meit's holistic health and how you became passionate

(18:07):
about this call? Oh man,Yeah for sure. Um. So,
growing up, I had my dadin my life. Um, he lived
with me for numerous amount of yearswhen my mother and my father were married.
Um, but growing up I alwaysdesired um, you know, closeness

(18:30):
and growing you know, quality time. It's funny because when I was younger,
I really like quality time and nowyou know that's my my love language
for real, you know, qualitytime. I love quality time. And
so as I began to get older, I have friends in the world,
right, but I don't use thesenow, I would say, looking back,
none of them are actually friends.It were just like my bros,

(18:52):
my homies, right, but um, you know I had people around me
were you know, maybe if theydid something that they said something. I
usually overlooked it. You know,I just always had a place for camaraderie
and you know, brotherhood and myheart. And so growing up, as
I begin to get older and Godcame into my life and God started dealing
with me, an issue for me, you know, was I was just

(19:18):
so bothered by seeing men just sodistraught, so depressed. You know,
it really bothers me when I seemen who, whether they're young men or
boy or man, you know,they don't have anybody to help them grow
and develop. And so one ofmy issues was, of course I had
my dad in my life. Youknow, that's my that's my homie.
Now that's my dog, right,But growing up he was there, but

(19:40):
he wasn't there. He wasn't handson with a lot of things even just
kind of like in his own worldjust living life, right, And so
I yearned for that. And thenat the same time, just growing up,
I didn't have mentors. I didn'thave It was hard for me to
find brothers. Even coming into Christ, it was hard for me to find
people to connect with and really likewith. And as I began again,

(20:02):
like I said, getting older,it will bother me, like seeing these
young guys do certain things, butthey but you think about it, you
only do it because you don't havegodess, You only do it because nobody
helped you to develop. A lotof times people see us as men.
You see us aging physically, butyou don't know where our ages here and
here right, So that was adeep burden that you know, just came

(20:23):
to me from God. And Ididn't know it early on, but as
I grew up, it was justI was just always bothered, like man
like this, Like I was justlike you said, when you have that
mind that that's just so full.I think, like I'm a constant thinker,
Like even when I'm saying with myself, it's hard not to ask questions.
I think a lot, and soI would be around like, man,

(20:45):
you know, the reason why thisguy does that is because maybe he
didn't have a dad, or maybehe didn't have an uncle. He makes
this reason he does this because hismom did this and his mom did that,
or you know, he didn't haveanybody to teach him how to how
to You know what I'm saying somethingsimple like we don't think is that we
don't think that doing something like teachingsomebody how to fill out for an apartment

(21:07):
for the first time. Is thatbig? But it would be help,
right, like just teaching me likeI never you know, somebody might say
I never did an apartment or Inever did something for a house, and
you just think like, well youfind out at you going through life,
and it's like, how much fathercould I get if you teach me simple
things? So now when I getto the thing that you've never been to
the places you've never been, Icould just excel. And so growing.

(21:30):
It just bothered me seeing even olderman just feeling so lost because I would
think back to like man when theywere five, six, four, seven,
eight, Who were they? Howdid they get to that point?
What didn't they have? What toolsdo they need? Like why is this
man forty five and he can't finda job? Why's he said? Why's
he crying? You know, heshould be close to you know, retirement

(21:52):
or maybe a few businesses and teachinghis son and growing his son. Or
they might have kids who might getout doing anything, but they don't really
have anything together. And so thatstuff always really bothered me. And it
was just always a burden on myheart, especially for the young men,
because I'm like, I know whatit was like not to have anybody to
teach me stuff that I always wantedto know, I always wanted to ask
questions about. And honestly, it'snothing like it when you have somebody that

(22:15):
can lead you from a pure place, that just wants to see you grow,
wants to see you exceed. Andso that's just it's just deep on
my heart. Man, It's justit's just something that I really looked forward
to give it men and because youknow, in our society or just even
men period, right, the twobasic things that show are you know,
male basking is physical and financial.You can look good physically, you got

(22:40):
the money, but it's like,what about the other parts of the man
that need fixing or that need tweakingor they need a justine so you can
grow to become the best man youcan, Because like, all right,
what about every other area those twoareas create. But it's like, like,
how good is a billion dollars ina lit body if nobody want to
be around you? You know,you know what I'm saying. If you
can't even have a family to shareit with. If you fall from that

(23:04):
place of having a billion to havingnothing, you're not Your character was so
tore up. Nobody wants to seeyou get back on and say, hey,
yo yo, is you you?I remember when you had it,
but you ain't got it. You, my man, is what you need?
Two hundred and fifty thousand, Igot you, but you your character
so terrible, nobody even want togive you nothing. You know what I'm
saying. So I think it's importantfor men to be just um fit in

(23:26):
every area of their life. Anda lot of times we didn't have a
father to trust these things. Andyou know that's the hard part. All
Rachel, we we you know weare. We don't even hit all the
segments. You and he already droppinggyms. So the fit, I don't
know why there's ringing to me.I don't know if it is. It
seems to me like that could bean acronym or something for something that you're

(23:48):
doing. I don't know. Butas you saying, you and everybody fit
in every area. You know,Yeah, I'm gonna lie, it hit
me too. It's like it hadto be something because you heard I heard
it. I'm like fit. Iwas like, that's cool. I think
you think you got something. Theyoung man, Oh, all right,
so two words this week that I'masking. So I want to read these

(24:10):
two words to you, and Iwant you to tell me the first thing
that comes to mind. You're ready, okay, let's do it, all
right. The first one is dialogue? Right or wrong? You said the
first word? Or could? Ido know? So the first word is
dialogue. So I want you totell me what's the first thing come to
mind? I would say constant chatter, different languages, okay, I would

(24:33):
say, just I would see justhearing dialogue. I would say constant constant
talking. I'm seeing like different languages, just going, going, going,
just a lot of words and sentencesbuilt up, like even when you're in
a coffee shopping here, those echoesof dialogue, people talking, no matter
what they might be seeing. Youhear that, That's what I think.
Okay, When you hear the wordholistic, what's the first thing that comes

(24:53):
to mind? Holistic? The firstthing that comes to mind is, uh,
wellness of the whole person, notjust a percentage or part a whole
person, just the whole. It'sholistically, like just every area, all

(25:15):
right. So the definition of dialogueI have is a conversation between two and
more people as a feature of abook, player movie. Okay, and
then it says holistic is characterized bythe belief that parts of something are interconnected
and can be explained only by referenceto the whole. Okay, So okay,
you got the keyword there. That'sthere's something with the kids. Get

(25:37):
there, right, they got apiece. I'm okay, you got that.
You know you're in the right area. All right, So now let's
move into the infamous segment. Whatdoes this have to do with mental health?
And obviously this is the segment wherewe take the topic and whichever way
it is, and we align itwith mental health and whatever way. So

(25:57):
before I get into that, sowriting right, podcast, do you still
podcasts? Yeah? Man, I'mstill doing a podcast. I just had
to take a quick break because,you know, just preparing for different things
like really getting into this text up, trying to do some studying, trying
not to overload myself in all areas, and so I really want to go

(26:18):
in on the podcast. So I'llbe back to the podcast and spacing about
two to three weeks, definitely comingback. I can't wait, man,
I can't wait. And it's funnybecause I only got three episodes, but
the feedback that I got back fromthe three is just like spectacular. And
so really I just want to give, you know, the people who need

(26:40):
those things what they need, rightbecause a lot of people, especially men,
like in this day and age,I'll look up for somebody to follow,
and I think it's important that wegive them the right information and the
information that they need. And soyeah, man, I'm still podcasting.
I'm excited you said, I gotmy mic right here. So for those
that don't know, tell the peoplewhich a podcast is about, and what

(27:04):
is it? What's the overall goaland is it for them who was a
target audience or they are part ofthe target audience or not? Nice?
Okay, So my podcast it's calledall in Podcasts. So All in Podcasts
is essentially a podcast that really teachesand encourages motivation, inspires men to go
all in in every single area oftheir life, like we said, mentally,

(27:26):
physically, emotionally, relationally, financially, spiritually, each in area of
their life. Right. And ofcourse I'm a Christian, I'm a minister,
but I don't get too caught upon just focusing on just Christian men,
because all men need help, right, And so that's what we want,
we want to build men in society. But it's geared toward men and

(27:48):
young boys, but it's also forwomen, right, It's also for you
know, whether it's a mother,sister, cousin, because I believe that
our women need men who are ina position to teach them how they can
be a help to the men intheir lives. Like how could a daughter

(28:08):
or a daughter connect with her father, or a wife better connect with her
husband, or a cousin better connectwith her cousin who she might be close
to. Right, Like I spoketo one person, somebody said, you
know, just a post that Iwrote on Instagram. You know sometimes I
write post. She was like,thank you so much for what you put
on Instagram. I was like,Okay, no problem. She's like,
no, seriously, because before Ihad so many different hang ups with my

(28:32):
father because I was so angry athim and we went through so much,
and I would just go at himback and forth, and I wasn't open
to him. But the more youbegin to write, and the way you
taught stuff on Instagram to your post, it allowed me to see some of
the things that my father actually goesto while he reacts a certain way,
why he says the things he says, why he does the things he does,

(28:52):
And so it helped me to bemore open, to have a different
approaching to understand him, and tobuild a better connect with him. And
after that, me and my father'srelationship is continuously growing. It's not perfect,
but it's actually growing from the thingsthat you've put on display, and
so that that's something really encouraging.So it's like, I don't want to
just teach men just period, butI really believe, just like women can

(29:18):
teach us things about them to helpus better cater love and grow with them,
there are ways that we as mencan teach the women that we love
how to support, how to upliftus in ways that they probably don't think
about or they probably don't know.Okay, so we got another writer podcast
here. Like I keep telling y'all, like this season has been full of
writers in different ways, and itjust goes show you like you may have

(29:42):
a different gift. Like everybody's notgoing to write a book. Everybody,
you know, some people, youknow, I know a lot of people.
Was a pushback for many years,but the way the world is going,
I think we kind of open anour lands to see it's gonna be
people put in different industries that weren'twouldn't have been accepted three ten years ago.

(30:03):
And you know when it comes towrite, and it's just like you
you do, like I have awriter brain and everything I look at and
I just see a storyline and likeeverything. So it's just like this,
ain't it? We need to changeit? Do it? And like we
can take this one out, addthis, Like I just this is really
hot. I see everything like astory board. So that's interesting, good

(30:26):
stuff, all right. So thereis a growing body of research that suggests
that one's ability to conquer their innerstruggles and negative boards within is closely linked
to their mental health, all right, and we know that mental health is
the death. The definition is theway we act, think and feel,
and it says specifically, individuals whoare able to overcome their negative self talk

(30:47):
and self doubt tend to have bettermental health outcomes than those who struggle to
do so. Quick yess And thoughI'm sure you would agree, yes,
right, definitely, yes, definitelyall the way. So now I have
two positives and two negatives when itcomes to self talk, inner dialogue,
and already there from all over theplace. So the first one says the

(31:08):
positive self talk has been found toimprove job performance. Study publishing a Journal
of Occupational Health Psychology found that positiveself talk improve self performance and sales professionals.
Negative self talk can increase anxiety levels, while positive self talk can decrease
anxiety levels. Studies have shown thatthose individuals who engage in positive self talk

(31:30):
have lower levels of anxiety compared tothose who engage in negative self talk.
And for example, a journal publishinga Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found
that positive self talk decreased anxiety inparticipants facing a stressful situation. So far
go to the next two. Ithink about it so random, how my

(31:52):
mind just goes. I think aboutRugrats, and I remember when a Elica
was calling Chucky. She was likea scaredy cat. You're a scaredy cat.
And I remember he was Hella scaredand he was just standing there and
he just kept hyping himself off.He was like, I'm a big brave
dog. I'm a big brave dog. Like obviously that's the childish version,

(32:14):
but in a sense, that's reallywhat you have to do. Although she
was a real person because them aswe talked about this because last week some
you know, parents could be abiggest hater sometimes, but sometimes the biggest
hater can be in the in thenatural too, and then if they say
it enough, you start to believeit. So even when they're not there,
you still it's like them TV showsbe shown, y'all when them people

(32:36):
have like love in a mind sequencesand they be seeing visions of people saying
like you this year that that's reallyhow it be, So you have to
really kind of you know, I'mat the point and I said this four
five episodes, but I'm gonna sayit again. It's the theme this season.
I told y'all when I'll take thesebrakes to come back, these seasons
and these episodes represent what I'm goingthrough life. I'd arrived. I want

(33:00):
to say it again, I'd rathercut you off and this is myself and
later find out I was wrong thento keep you and then and then you
add too much damage because as happenedto me too many times. So that's
that's where I'm at with that.Any texts before we go to the last
two, Nah, nothing, man, I'm just I'm enjoying everything you're saying.

(33:23):
That that what grass thing is.Uh, that's that's serious, bro,
because the way you talk to yourselfand you know what I think,
even with the parent part, itcan be so detrimental because a lot of
times parents don't even realize what they'resaying or what they're doing. And parents,
no matter how you might feel,are one of the most not one

(33:46):
of the most, probably the Ican't think of the world right now,
but they're at the top of thelist when it comes to the people who
can speak to you and move youin such ways. I think it just
has something to do with having theDNA who they are, who they are,
just as your parents being linked toyou. The spiritual aspect of it

(34:07):
all. Like I'm telling you,the things your parents can say can really
make or break you. And whenyou get to a certain point in at
age, you are responsible for yourlife, but for that time that your
parents cover you growing up, ma'am. A lot of people, truth be
told, it's a lot of peoplecould have done great things, but because

(34:27):
of the things that their parents saidto them, you know, they they
really believe that as much as theyhave, it's not enough. The knowledge,
the talent, the smarts, thegifts. They feel like they just
it just ain't it. But it'sall because of how their mother or their
father might have felt or what theymight have said. That's a serious thing,
man, So yeah, man,I definitely agree with that. Man.

(34:52):
And as we see, y'all,last week's episode is bleeding into this
one, all right. So,positive self talk has been linked to improve
cardiovascular health, and study published inthe Anals of Behavioral Medicine found that positive
self talk was associated with lower levelsof blood pressure and cholesterol. Could believe

(35:12):
that, and then it says negativeself talk has been associated with an increased
risk of developing substance use disorders.A study publishing adoun off Substance Abuse Treatment
found that negative self talk was apredicator of substance use disorders and individuals with
a history of trauma. And wesee that a lot. You know a
lot of people we think, ohsongs, so just be lit. They

(35:35):
having a good time, dude,They really going through it. And you
know, it's different types of peoplethat how they handle stuff. And I
think, in my mind, herego again. I think that one Salon
song she came up with a longtime ago, with Crane's in the Sky
and she was like and she wasall the stuff she was doing and try
to get the stuff to go away. I tried to drink it away,
I tried to sex it away,and and it's not gonna go where.

(36:00):
That's the crazy part. It's reallya scam. But it's just like,
I mean, it's a fun scam, but it's a scam, but it's
it's it's a scam ultimately. Soit's just interesting to see how like that's

(36:22):
the that's the scientifical way to sayit, and then there's musical ways to
say it. There's you know,there's so many ways to go about that.
Yeah. Now as a minister,you mentioned that, So can you
explain how do you integrate spirituality anyof your approach with wellness and self care?

(36:45):
Yeah? Man, So when youthink about one of the most powerful
things that you could ever do,a lot of times we we kind of
out words. For some people,not everybody, but for some people,

(37:05):
words are so powerful. We knowthat the Bible says, you know that
life and death are in the powerof what the tongue, right, So
the things you say are so powerful. Let me tell you if we was
growing up, if I was youruncle, or your brother, somebody close
to you. I can hit youwith something and eventually the scar might still

(37:29):
be there, but the pain willgo away. But I can say something
to you that will penetrate you,that will go with you until you fifty.
And if for some reason twenty thirtyforty you just could not shake that
thing. But these are words weretalking about here, These are words,
and so we carry these words withus. And so you know another scripture,

(37:50):
the weapons of our warfare are notcarnal. People think everything is so
in the natural. This stuff isspiritual, right. I remember seeing an
experiment online where they have like fruitsor they had plants. They would say
a negative thing to one, apositive thing to one. The one that
they said positive things too, ittook it took a bit more time for

(38:12):
a decay. It was still kindof clean, it was still kind of
fresh. The one that they spokenegatively too. You start seeing a decay
or the dying of the thing.And so the tongue is so powerful because
what we speak matters so much,and God's word is life. It gives
like it speaks, like like youwere saying, people drink they self away,
they sex, theyself away. Theysmoke, they self away, and

(38:35):
what happens is it's fun, butit's damaging. Right, So those things
damage just because people might say stufflike, you know, smoke comes from
the ground, or you know,liquors not this and all of this type
of stuff. But there are certainimplications that come along with that. But
in God's word you find hope,you find peace, you find love,
you find joy. Nowhere in theBible did they say it is going to

(38:58):
be perfect or you're gonna feel perfectlygreat all the time. This life is
about a fight and so and aspiritual and a spiritual sense like the Lord's
word. The Lord's word, itquickens you, It gives you a certain
hope. It lets you see thingsfrom a different perspective. The Bible who
says be transformed by the renewing ofyour mind. The Holy Spirit helps you

(39:21):
renew your mind and see things ina different light, because a lot of
times before you even really encounter whotruly God is, the real God,
you see things from a certain perspectivethat you didn't see before. Once in
in life you might say, Ican't go this far. My mother said
this about me, and this personsaid this, and I can never be
this because I made this mistakes.But when God comes into the picture,

(39:44):
God begins to show you who hecreated you to be, long before anybody
said anything to you. And thereason why I stand so heavy is because
this person that created you, whichis God, created everybody else who are
talking, and just a snap ofa finger, a blink, a breath,
they could be gone. And hecreated them. He created them,
and he created you. So he'sthe one who gives the power. You

(40:07):
know what I'm saying. And soI really try to teach people and show
people like, hey, you mightsay, Mike, you're twenty, you're
twenty what you don't smoke, youdon't drink, you don't be sex,
and you don't do this, Likedon't look at me like I'm some power
ranger, Like I just woke upand say I don't want to do it
no more. I'm saying, thisis ball ring. I'll tell people.
I'm like, look, bro,I ain't even thirty yet, so check

(40:28):
me. If I wanted to,I would be knowing what I wanted to
do. But not only do Iknow what's wrong. You know, while
I might be pleasureful, it's damagingto me. And so what God allowed
me to do. He gave methe power to stop doing the things that
I knew weren't right. And soI tell people all the time, like,
listen, man, don't think I'mjust waking up saying this stuff like
this's easy. God gave me thepower to do this. And so when

(40:51):
you incorporate those spiritual aspects in there, slowly but surely you get to your
life begins to be transformed and beginningto see things in a different way.
And that's what God did for me, Like it was like everything that I
was blind to, he started takinga blinders off, Like he started to
show me the reason why you actlike that is because what happened when when

(41:12):
you're younger. The reason why yousay this is because when you was a
kid, the reason why you runaway from challenges like this was because your
father did this, or your motherdid this, or what they didn't do.
And so it starts to show meareas of why I react, why
I'm triggered in certain ways, andso what it does it not only does
God show me it, but afterhe shows you it, he gives you

(41:34):
the power to conquer that thing andgo through and figure out what should I
do, What shouldn't I do?How could I handle this situation? What's
the best way for me to dealor what angle should I hit this from
so I can overcome this thing.And so that's what the Word of God
does. And when you pull outthat spirituality in there, man, it's
a game changer because there's certain thingsI didn't know about myself that I said,

(41:58):
wow, I do this because whenI was younger, maybe I got
yell dad, or my mother saidthis is my father said dad, And
you know, and you start seeingthings what it is like when you grow
up. You know, you justreally kind of mad at your parents.
You know what I'm saying. Andit's like people say, you know,
they did the best they could,but really they did the best. They
just knew how to especially because likethis is another thing I say, you

(42:22):
know, uh, some things whenyou get in some things. You'll learn
how to do things as you growas you go. But I feel like,
you know, it's some things thatshould be passed down on teaching,
listen, parenting or this is howyou do certain things, or becoming a
new parent. Dada da dah.You feel me. But um, you
know a lot of our parents gotpregnant twenty one, twenty two, twenty

(42:42):
three, fifteen sixteen seth And sothey were kids, they didn't know no
better. They were dealing with theirtrauma while trying to raise us, while
still trying to hang onto their littlebit of youth and their life. And
so it's just it's just a lot. But the Lord allows you to see,
like listen, man, you know, it's not that they hated you.
They just they dealing with some stufffor their own whether they whether they
choose to deal with it or not, Like you know, this is what

(43:04):
happens. And so I really believethat the world of God really helps men
to see things from a different perspective, reclaim power over their lives, and
see hope that they didn't even seebefore, you know, to know,
like listen, I didn't like,yeah, life hurts, life is crazy.
But I didn't just call you tolet life happen to you. I
called you so you can be aconquerorce, or that you can see things

(43:25):
moving earth by my power. You'renot doing it by yourself, like a
lot of people are. What islife for? What's the point of being
here? I'm so sad and it'slike well, it's always going to be
like that. But I know somebodywho can give you hope, give you
the power, and give you thestrength they get through those things when they
come, you know. So that'sjust my main thing. I hope I
ain't rant too much on the hellno, it's fine. Listen this this

(43:45):
we on a podcast. It's anyvoice memo say yeah, you're right,
let's go where it was like,um somebow. So when you see me,
this avoics me on another podcast.So this is this is a podcast.
We can do that. We gottime. And I mean it ain't
like anybody in the back like hey, tell them to hurry up, Like
it's me. I'm gonna say it'sto move to the next point. You

(44:09):
made a point. I hope Idon't lose my train of thought, but
I know to come back. Ijust hope it won't come back at the
wrong time. But I think aboutwhat everything you said, Like, I
think the main issue is lack ofself discipline in a lot of areas,
and it's not nothing that's developed overnight. And honestly, what I want
people to understand two is, nomatter what your bad habit is or bad

(44:30):
habits or whatever, God, it'sokay if you stop one and still do
something else. As you know whatI'm saying, like, okay, I
stop doing this. I'm trying tostop doing this too, but it's okay
if it don't happen overnight. Somepeople have them stories where things have to
stop overnight, not everybody, Andyou know, I think that is good

(44:50):
when people tell the full story andlike versus, oh, once I'm through
with certain things, versus I'm throughwith ABNC, but this still got me
or you know, it's this onething or two things, you know,
but if it least be aware,that's me. I'm all about self awareness
and I'm always in that way.Like even if I'll say, like you

(45:12):
know how people do bad stuff orsay bad stuff and make excuses, I'll
be like, yeah, I didit probably wasn't the best, but at
least I'm gonna just take I justI'd rather take accountability than make an excuse
because I just feel like, andwhile we're talking about me and what we
go to next, I hate anybodythat does it, but I'm gonna specifically
speak on to me. I don'tlike men that play victim. I don't

(45:32):
care. I understand. I justdon't like. I don't care what how
you would, I just don't care. I'm gonna just leave it at that
because I don't want to get toodeep in that. And then you know,
all right, So now let's movingto the other segment, which is
I challenge that a new challenger,and in that case, with our challenge,
that's a segment where I kind ofgo against what we're saying. That

(45:58):
really opened the door for the debate, so we can see all angles.
So first, let's revisit what Isaid earlier when I had said I didn't
like this latter half of that quote, which words says then the first quote
that I read earlier, if y'alldon't remember, was conquering internal dialogue is
not about silence and the voice youhere, It's about learning to listen without
being controlled by it. Here's mything with that. If you don't overpower

(46:21):
the voice. Now, if youdon't have a power the voice, then
what's happened? Because you're gonna havea weekday, that's just life. What
happens If it's still that you're tryingto ignore it, it's gonna wait till
that opportune time, like a snaketo strike. So I don't like that
statement, just that second half becauseof that, I mean, I get
what they were going with it,you know, but close, No,

(46:43):
cigar, what's your take on that? Can you say the second half again?
Because I think you're gonna say youdon't agree with the first I say
the second half one more time.So here completely so read the whole thing
was just the second part. Secondthe second part it's about learning to listen
said to it without being controlled byit. Oh yeah, nah, I

(47:04):
thought I completely agree with you.I think I feel you when I'm in
the same boat as you when yousaid, you get what they're trying to
go because at the beginning they said, it's not about I think how it's
worth it, not listening to it, or like not silencing it. The
thing is number one, you can'tsilence it. It's always gonna be there,
so you can't silence it. It'sabout not listening to it. Right

(47:28):
And with the second part, likeyou said, I disagree, like it's
really about um I was going tobe because that first that first part really
got me. The second part.Say the second part one more time because
the first part looke me and saythe single one time it's about learning to
listen to it without being controlled byit. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

(47:49):
you don't. That's the thing.We don't need to listen to it,
like we really need to shut itdown because like when you listen to
it, you start taking it in. That's how we end That's how we
get into these cycles, Like wehear it and then we start playing things
over in our mind that aren't eventrue, that didn't happen, that we
shouldn't believe in the first place.Because one thing I say all the time
is something can describe you, butit doesn't define you. Years ago,

(48:17):
I was a manipulator. Years ago, I wasn't even a cheata. But
you know, I was a womanas of all that stuff my definition who
I am now I'm a child ofGod, of course, But I've always
been a human being. At anymoment I could change, any moment,
I could grow, any moment Icould go lower, you know what I'm
saying. But at a moment intime in my life that described me.

(48:40):
I'm not that person anymore. Sothat description isn't for me now because it
never defined me. I can't staythat way, right. A tree is
always a treat, whether it's cutup, whether it's beat up, whether
it's after. It's a treat that'sdefined, but the description can change depending
on what you do to the tree. So my thing is like I don't
want to listen to that because Iused to do that, Like I would

(49:01):
sit there in my mind and thinkabout stuff like, man, I did
this, and I did that,and how can I do this? And
I got these tendencies and I hadto get to the point where I said,
you know what, hold up.I'm like, no, no,
no, no, because I was, like he said, I was listening
to it. I was like,I don't know. I don't want to
hear that. I was like Ihad to reframe my own mind and say,
why can I do that? Likewhy not me? What's wrong with

(49:24):
me? I'm smart, I can'tdo that. I've achieved things before.
I should go for higher. Butwhen I listened to this voice, I
challenge it, and the negative voiceis a bit higher because then you're trying
to you're trying to get from thewall, but you're not like meeting it
up here like nah, you overhere listening like well, maybe I could

(49:45):
be good at this or if Itry like nah, bro, because that's
nothing but the enemy. But alot of people don't understand what the enemy
voice is, so they just bethinking as them having a conversation with themselves,
but it's not. It's an enemytrying to keep you away from what
I just trying to take on whathe's called you to do. So your
doctor said, I'm listening. Idon't. I don't listen no more.

(50:05):
And it's times like you said,it's a journey, right, You're never
perfect. His moments were I don'tlisten, and then his moments were I'll
be sitting down, I'd be goingthrough it. But I got to pull
myself back. Like, man,that's a lot, like I'm not that
personal more or just because I madethis mistake. This don't define me and
this doesn't just justify just who Iam. Like now, that's not me.
Try to try somebody else to getsomebody else to do it. I

(50:28):
ain't going to do that. Getsomebody else to do it. Now we're
gonna d they clip in the videowhen I do that the promo. Now
we talk about ultimately when we're talkingabout I should have won the definition of
harass, but we talk about thosevoices harassing you so that voice. So
the voice is because some of uscrazy so much a boy than one.

(50:50):
But what about the voice that harassesyou to do things you need to do
and it's bothering you, like cleanyour room, or you need to make
up that old friend or that familymember, or you're reminiscing on old thoughts
and you know, or my favorite, you're reminiscing on old thoughts that make

(51:10):
you angry or set you back inthe negative way. So when it comes
to that, so we're challenging that. So, like we said, we're
going to get some us a tonof downalog but sometimes I think you need
to listen to them and let mesay, why with the whole when you
get angry, because if you're thinkingabout it, not ponder on any rehearsing
it, but thinking about it,like from kind of what he mentioned earlier,

(51:31):
why am I still mad about this? Why is it still triggering me?
Like this happened I'm ten years ago, this happened last year, this
happened twenty years ago? Why amI still mad? So not more so
thinking about it, but just we'retrying to get to the root of why.
And if you ever go to therapyanything they're gonna do that with you,

(51:51):
like, well, why did youyou know what I'm saying, like,
why are you still you know?And sometimes you need the therapist,
which can getting to that letter toyou to kind of open you up to
to see your angle, to tellyou about yourself because you typically unless you
want in their clothes off, butthen that's a waste of time. But
it is what it is. Thatone. Um, now you have a

(52:15):
real on your page and it saidstay focused, you have work to do.
Can you elaborate more on that forthe people? Yeah? Man,
I feel like a tactam partner withyou're right now. But I totally agree
with what you said man for real, because you know, my thing is

(52:37):
we need to people. We needto be people that really think through things
right because I just think about internalconflict. It's a negative and it's a
positive. You just got to figureout which one is which the negative stuff
is the one I tell you youthis and you that and you're not good
enough. The other one is you'reconscious or you know even even at times,

(52:58):
God dealing what you're trying to speakto you. But it's like,
yo, you need to apologize toyour sister. I know I need to,
but you know you're battling it becausemaybe you don't know. You're not
good with conflict. You don't knowwhat to say, you know how to
say. You don't want to getbeat down. You know you're always in
the wrong, so you don't wantto do it. Or you need to
clean up, but you're struggling withcleaning up, so you fustrate. But
you know, you got to learnhow to think through it and figure out

(53:21):
which one is positive, which oneis negative. And so I think that's
really good because those I mean,truth be told. It's like a positive
haunting. Bro. It's like youshould be writing your book right now.
You should be doing your part.You should not be out so late right
now as you could get back homeand get back to creating content. You
should, you know what I'm saying. And so those things kind of keep
us in check because we need that, right especially when we get lazy,

(53:45):
when we start being undisciplined. Ithink those those are good things. But
going back to the quote on mypage, stay focused. You got work
to do, you know, andlife, man, we get so caught
up because you know, life hasits ups and down bro, And so
when you up, you're feeling good, you might be doing something, you
might be making progress, but it'sthat it's that middle sometimes and a lot

(54:07):
of times those downtimes when it getsrough and you don't feel like doing nothing
no more. You just feel likebeing undisciplined. You don't feel like making
the right decisions, you don't feellike doing what you're supposed to be doing,
and so you lose focus. Butit's always worked for us to do
every level we go to a liferight, the things that you do right
episodes and seasons, and then soonit is in five years, ten years,

(54:31):
it's still gonna be work for youto do, because listen, it's
gonna be different things. You knowwho, We don't know if you're gonna
be hosting, doing things on thestage, other businesses you might have,
you know who. You might beat five books, all right, When
you hit the fifth book right,it's more work to do. It's time
to get to the sixth book.And a lot of times I feel like
we've waste so much time on doubtingwhat we have in front of us that

(54:53):
we can't finish the work. LikeI was talking to my cousin, she
was kind of you know going throughit with this first book, I say,
your cous just get the book done. Focused on getting that book done,
and then focus on all right,what's the next book? Like,
because we get caught up into numbersand how that's going to do? Like,
yo, what what if you quiton your third book, but your

(55:15):
ten book you become a millionaire?Like that's part of the stay focused.
You got work to do, likeit, it's more work to be done,
and then it don't stop there becauselife is an ever progressing thing.
You become a father, all right, well now you need to grow to
become a better father, a goodfather, a good husband, better husband.
It's always work to do, youknow what I'm saying. And just

(55:35):
like that, dumb positive haunts comeand tell you, like listen, it's
stuff you need to focus on becauseif you don't progress, you can go
downhill. That's the main thing.You know what I'm saying is like,
that's that's the that's the key toprogressing is to keep moving, stay focused,
and progression isn't linear. Man,Like a lot of people think that
being perfect is the way to Likenah, like you said, I'm gonna

(55:57):
take them bricks when I need toif if you don't see me constantly rolling,
if you see a pause, it'sbecause I needed the pause. That
pause don't mean you went down tenlevels. The just meant you needed a
pause in that moment in season,because that's a pause that's integrated within your
progress of moving forward and growing.Everybody think it's just, but it's not
that, you know what I'm saying. So that's the main thing. Yeah,

(56:22):
I think, And that was mynext question, but you kind of
answered it was like what happens whenthose thoughts are true? And I kind
of mentioned it earlier, like whatif you know, you know you are
this, you are that, youare you know? And then that's the
thing. Sometimes it do be truefor the moment, but that don't mean
it has to stay that way.You might right now, you know,

(56:44):
you might be a little It's okay, I mean I might be a liar.
Let's figure out how to fix that. I'm telling you, it's I
just threw out my life, mytwenty about to be twenty nine years.
I just it's always and that's itmight be, you know, they give
it'd be the people who I said, I ain't gonna say he Teler,

(57:05):
I'm the finest funny wall because Iain't, but it'd be the people who'd
be ugly. They just confidences throughthe roof. And that's good because it's
weird. How like the people whoare like the you know, they have
the highest confidence, and it's likethe pretty people we have in the lowest.
It's crazy how it works. ButI mean, you know, like
I said that, I just feellike everybody just need a little something,

(57:29):
you know. That's I don't feellike nobody is truly ugly. I feel
like maybe you just need to losea little weight or gang a little weight,
you know. Some people need thatto let your beer grow in,
you know, getting her cut,you know what's smug change it the way
you dressed. I mean, it'sit's something you could do that. You
know. Obviously we all know it'snot all about looks, but the same

(57:51):
yeah, you know, it's goodto feel good too. So yeah,
attraction is an attraction is a somebodybeing very attractive. It's that be a
real thing. But I think,of course it's people that's more attractive than
others. And then at the sametime, you know, you got beauty
is in the eye to beholder,like you know people like, you know,
I'm not stuck up with none ofthat stuff caught up in it looks.

(58:14):
But you know, people might say, oh, you know you look
at this and a third and I'mlike, yeah, you know that's cool
because I'm because truth be told.Like I feel like like it worked for
me better in my old like becausenow I'm looking for one woman, like
it's overrated, Like all right,you know you might attractive, but I'm
not looking for fifteen women looking forone. So like, okay, looking

(58:36):
good as cool, but you gotpeople who look spectacled, but nobody want
to be with them, you knowwhat I'm saying. Because when you because
it ain't nothing like a person,that's fine, but they ain't got no
character, they don't got no substance. It automatically makes them unattractive because they
only work on their looks, Theyonly work on the outside. Then when
you get next them, is Ithink about it all the time. I
don't want to be with a womanwho's gorgeous, But when I'm when I'm

(59:00):
home with you, I'm like plea, like leave meal. You know what
I'm saying, Like I don't wantthat, Like I want somebody that like
Okay, I know in the realworld, I'm gonna have arguments with my
wife. I want somebody that Iwant to be compatible with enough to argue
on her. I don't want toargue because it's just I'm gonna be done.
You know what I'm saying. Iwant to grow with you. I

(59:20):
want to get into disagreements with you. Not in a bad way, but
you know the things that come inlife, right, And so I'd be
like, man, look, it'slike it's like you find a person.
It's good because I don't care whothey call the sexiest man on everybody not
attracted to them. Chris Brown andegri Elbert could go to Brazil. Everybody
might be all over eg Elber maybelike Chris Brown. He h. It

(59:45):
might be a certain part of America. But Chris Brown gonna be ever By
Landslide. But it's all about It'sall about people in any types of what
they like and how they see things. It's all about that. Yeah,
they don't matter how far you are. It's like, man, listen,
you'll be telling the only he ifthat person I find everybody, So don't
just be thinking like why nobody youwant him? Or want nobody want like

(01:00:06):
that's your type, not everybody typefor sure. Yeah all right, so
now let's move into the weekly sabbatical. All right. So now with that,
as we reflect, we kind ofreminisce. Let me ask you this,
how do you approach creative content thatboth expresses your creativity and aligns with
your values as an advocate for men'swillness. Take us on a journey like

(01:00:31):
the lab for you. I likethat, so my creative makes my creativeness
makes what you know, men's wellnessand being an advocate, so I can
be very creative man like. Onething about me, I hate monotony.
So my mind, I said,I my thinker, I'm always thinking of

(01:00:52):
how can I do something differently?How can I grab somebody's attention? How
could I reframe this and something different? And so I constantly think of how
do I get people's attention? ThenI think about what dude, the men
need because you know what I'm saying, like life is hard enough, don't
know, man, especially you knowhow this just being a man, Like
life is tough. You know theway we carry things. Don't know a

(01:01:14):
man want another man beating up onthem or sunning them or trying to treat
them like they're a little bro orlike they try, you know what I'm
saying, trying to diminish you ordisrespect you. So I'm saying what ways
cannot inspire men and you know,activate them and motivate them to move forward
as a man, and you know, in daily life. So sometimes I
might say I might want to givethem some information to read, or I

(01:01:37):
might want to say something that's goingto spark an interest, or you know,
I might want to give them detailson how they could conquer something in
their life. But even if theyit's harden them to conquer. What are
the beginning steps? So you know, I try to incorporate things like I
remember one time as a video demic. I probably make it this summer,
but I wanted to make a videoabout you know, men who might be

(01:02:00):
hotheads, right the dude who mightbe quick to fight, quick to pull
out a gun, Like yo,listen, it's what we're about to do.
This video is going to be abouttaking a walk when you feel like
you want to just go crazy,take a walk, three, take a
rest. This is what walking doesfor you. This is what taking moments
to think about things do for you. So I try to really put things
into perspective, like, listen,this is something you can implement into your

(01:02:23):
life, and this is a reasonwhy you should implement it, because when
you don't, you make these mistakes, and this is the cost of those
mistakes, you know what I'm saying. And so at the same time,
you know, people like to watchthings and different stuff like that. So
I try to get really creative withsome stuff. Some stuff is pretty simple,
but I try to you know,whether it might be the scenes or

(01:02:45):
how I cut something up, orjust catching a man's eye. Because as
a man, you know what menlike, but you know, you know
what's good for the eye, whatpeople might like. So I really like
to find stuff that's going to encouragemen get their attention. And you know,
it's just it's it's a it's ajoy for me, man, Honestly,
it's like, that's a joy forme. Anywhere I can in,
anywhere I can help, anywhere Ican build, you know, anywhere I

(01:03:07):
can create, you know, creative. Being creative allows me to just express
what I want to express how andwhen in different ways, right, you
know, just even being different.You know, I just love just doing
stuff differently. I hate the samething over and over again, like all
right, let's shoot, let's shootit from this angle, let's talk about
this this time. You know whatI'm saying. Yeah yeah, yeah,

(01:03:31):
So now tell me a story ofwhen you had to conquer an internal dialogue
and how did you stay free fromthat battle? Okay, so this is
even one more recent. So asyou know, I'm a minister, I'm
a speaker, um, and soI'm in the lane. I really love

(01:03:52):
motivation to speaking. I love speakinglike I love it, and so moving
in the area as to where I'mspeaking to people when I say, hey,
you know I would love to comespeak, or you know, you
got this, and people invite meto speak, at times the enemy would
be like what you got the offer? What I'm saying? Like, what
could you really say that's going tospark somebody's mind? Yeah? Or you

(01:04:15):
know, look at this area ofyour life that you're still working on.
How are you going to tell somebodyor motivate somebody you got this? And
what could you really say? Doyou really think they're gonna listen to you
when you're up there talking like youthink somebody's gonna be into it, Like
you think they're gonna hear you?Or what about when they start talking and
you're talking or they're not really payingattention you know what I'm saying, Like

(01:04:36):
what you're gonna say? Then,like you might as well just quit while
you ahead, And it would goon for a little bit. And I
was like, Yo, who commissionedme? Who put this in me to
even want to speak? Because Idon't even like talking? Is I don't
like people that know me that'd bearound me they see me talking. So
as I go quiety like what's wrong? Be like, nothing's wrong? Why

(01:04:57):
because you just call it? AndI of being quiet? I just I'm
good. But I love speaking right, motivating, And so I said,
who could, like who put thisemmy in the first place? Of love
doing it? God? Yeah,So if he, if he commentioned me
to do this, if he gaveme this and putting in my heart,
that mean he gave me the ability, he gave me the gifts. From
now I'm doubting on myself because ofwhat this voice is saying and it's not

(01:05:20):
coming into agreement with God or hisword. So I say, Yo,
you know what, like do Igotta be perfect to do what I'm doing?
Nah, Because everybody that's before meain't perfect, and even the talk
dogs ain't perfect. So you're wrong. You know who would listen to me?
Well, I might not be listeningto me, but God gave me
something for people to listen to.So somebody gonna listen to me, you

(01:05:41):
know what I'm saying? Like,what could you really say? Well,
every time I talked, people say, oh, do you got a podcast?
Or you should be speaking on WeLove here you speak, So obviously
I'm not caught up on myself.But God gave me a gift to give
the people, so I got something. Yeah. And so it's a battle,
right, but it's it's not aphysical battle, it's meant to spiritual
right. And so I started speaking, and I speak the word of God

(01:06:03):
because God, God thought of mebefore I was in my mother's womb,
before I was in my mother's bombright. Not only that, but He
had a plan of the purpose forme before the foundation, before the earth
was created, before my parents waseven here. So he already ordained before
he created the world, before hecreated any human being. I was already
on his mind, like Mike,going to do this, and he and

(01:06:25):
God has put me in a positionto say, look, bro, I
didn't bring you here to trusting andsol here to trust in me. So
it's going to be a bite,it's gonna be a fight, it's going
to be a battle. But you'redoing it by my strength, not choice.
So go ahead. So I rememberall these things I just started.
I started, Hold up, bro, you're not even you don't know what
you're talking about? Like why why? I mean, why not? Mean?
What's wrong with me? What's wrongwith me? Then then it goes

(01:06:49):
silent. I'm like, oh,yeah, yeah, yeah, what's wrong
with me? Anything that tried tocomes up? What's wrong with me?
I'm like, I don't why notme? It's other people doing it that
same disqualified or probably not quote unquoteas good as me, or don't have
the same passion, and they're killinga game. Why can't I do it?

(01:07:13):
I'm saying it down myself. Nah, we're not doing that. So
I gotta talk. I literally sometimesI look in the mirror, talk to
myself. I look some of myvideos I put up. You gotta believe
in yourself, like God believe inyou, right and not literally believe in
you, but God created you fora reason. You know what I'm saying
because he called you to walk somethingout. So I gotta believe in me

(01:07:34):
and stop kiming what other people say. I gotta stop killing what people think.
I gotta stop caring what about thepeople that I might be caring about
what they're gonna say, Like forgety'all, Like who cares? Right when
you look at people like basketball playerslike Kobe Bryant and people like that,
they locked in. They don't carewhat you're talking about. And so when
I started saying that, I'm like, that's what type of time I'm on

(01:07:54):
that makes with the word of Godand discipline, like I gotta move forward.
So I'm not I'm not even withit, and it don't mean everything
gonna be perfect. I might runinto some people that be like I wasn't
really funny, and okay, I'mnot gonna make it seem like you had
to feel me because I might justnot be for you. I'm your ears
might not be for my voice,and that's okay. You don't gotta love

(01:08:15):
me, but somebody is. It'sgonna be people out there that love me,
and that's how how God ordained it. So devil don't got no power
to stop that. I don't gotno power to stop that, and I'm
gonna choose to walk in God's power. So what's up? And that's you
know what I'm saying. But it'sa it's a it's a battle. It's
a battle man, Yeah, definitely. So what do you see? So

(01:08:39):
do you do your real quick doyour show like seasonally or you just come
back when it's time. You don'tdo like because I you know, I
do mine in season so like seasonseven, en and I'm going three four
months? Everybody know why? Solike, is it like bad? Is
it just like episode one hundred andeleven that I just pick up whenever?
Yeah? I actually do like that, like like episode just regularly episodes.

(01:09:00):
I've been thinking about maybe doing aseason thing, but I just, you
know, because I see a lotof people do that. So I'm like,
depending on how I feel, Imight do like you know, season
one, season two, I mightget into that, or I might just
do you know, like see Imean episode forty five, forty six,
forty seven. It just depends.But I'm thinking about maybe doing a season
thing, but right now I'm stillin my way of an episode. So
yeah, that's how I do it. Yeah, then you know, I

(01:09:24):
know, if this podcast of thingschange and you just kind of gotta be
flexible and open. But that's reallywith anything though. So if you could
say three things, because right afterthis I have the tips to conquer the
internal dialogue or struggle, we're gonnago over that. But if you could
say three things you want people totake away from your I'll be not chucking

(01:09:47):
you. Four four things you wishthe audience could take away from your speech,
speeches, online, in person,whatever, What a four words?
What do you think that? Whatwould you want them to take away?
Hmm, that's good. Four words? M h. I would say this

(01:10:14):
is good. I like this.I would say, okay, I got
the four words. I want theword it. I would say the four
words is I will rise above.Okay, I will rise above. So

(01:10:39):
right there, he thought outside thebox because he took the four words and
made a sentence. See, Iwouldn't even see what we do here at
the p say we get people thinkingout. That's people thinking outside the box.
Okay, good, all right.So now with my research, I
didn't find some tips to cocky theintern of dialogue or struggle. And he
gonna kind of backdoor. Let meknow if you agree with that or not.

(01:11:00):
And I'm gonna kind of give mytake on it too. Ready,
all right, First one, itsays, were placed negative thoughts with positive
affirmations. Research has shown that thepositive afformation can improve self esteem and reduce
anxiety and depression. It says,according to the blog The Praying Woman,
when we affirm God's words of ourlives, we're telling ourselves the truth about
who we are, who God sayswe are. So okay, I agree

(01:11:25):
with that. The second one Ithink is interesting. It says focus on
your strengths. It says research showsthat people who focus on their strengths and
accomplishments says to have higher levels ofself esteem and lower levels of negative self
talk. As author George Maya rights, celebrate who you are, the unique
person that you were made to be. I like that one because we get

(01:11:48):
so caught up in our weaknesses weforget our strengths, and I think it's
comperative to highlight what we can do. It's even like in conversation, you
ever told somebody something and what me? And this is how I know?
And I'm not saying this to beshady I'm really not, because they'll know
how y'all do, even though Imean, I ain't gonna say I don't.
In this case, I'm really not. Like you know, how you
say something to somebody and you wordeda certain way and you try to word

(01:12:12):
it with some positives too, butthen just because how they are, all
the hurt was the negative. Youknow, example, I'm just thinking about
food, so you're like, oh, you know, the food was great.
You know, I said, thechicken was great, the mac and
cheese is great, The greens wasa little you know, they could have
did a little more salt, andyou know, the kool ai could have

(01:12:32):
had a little more sugar. Everybodyoverall it was great. They didn't hear.
They forgot what you said about thechicken, the mac and cheese.
They too busy dictated on the greensand the kool ai. It's some of
times, y'all, that sounds likea great meal. But but but that's
what I'm saying. Sometimes so weso fixated on the weaknesses and the negatives,

(01:12:55):
and that's just how the world is. You know. I've seen one
of the podcasts I keep up with, What's the London The British men Hicks
and Gigs or whatever, and theywere talking about how like somebody was talking
about them. They said they passedthe one dude to Leskan. There came
the think his name, I hopeyou don't see that. I'll forget his

(01:13:16):
name. But he talked about hesaid, it's like how your mind will
bring out the one negative thing.It was five thousand positive comments, but
you only saw the one negative,so the third one. Now this has
come up before episodes with tips andit keeps coming back, so I guess
it makes sense. With a mentalpodcast, practice Mindfulness, it says mindfulness

(01:13:39):
can be mindfulness based interventions haven't foundme significantly successful in reducing negative self talk
and improved self compassion as and vossCamp writes, be president in a moment
and look for the beauty in themundane. Now that's interesting for those that
don't have no vocabulary. Mundane meansso when you're talking about boom, and

(01:14:01):
I'm learning to do that because Ikeep feeling, you know, like,
enjoy the stillness, enjoy the calmness, enjoy just to every day because when
it shifts, it's up. SoI ain't gonna be go go back to
just regular you know, regular life. It's gonna be some different stuff.
So just enjoy that. My uncleactually told me this one, this fourth

(01:14:24):
one. It's challenging negative thoughts.It says cognitive behavioral therapy CBT is that
while use approach for reducing negative selftalk, study show this CBT can lead
to significant improvements and anxiety, depression, and overall well being, reject negltive
thoughts as soon as they come intoyour mind and replace them with positive thoughts.
So I mean, I gonna sometimesI be on it and I slack.

(01:14:45):
I mean, it's a it's alla battle running us with steep steps.
Shout out to Gucha man. AndI think that you know, once
you just accept life for what itis and just know, like you know,
even if you do find yourself andit's something I found myself. Even
if I do find myself falling backinto something I thought I was done with,
I have to I always catch myselfsafe. But remember how funn you

(01:15:09):
came. Remember how Yeah you maystill just keep it with food for example,
and not the day for me,but just an example. Say for
instance, yeah, you you mighthave slipped back and you went too hard
in your cheap day. But rememberwhen every day was a cheap day.
So you know, you have tolook at it. That's how far you've
come. Or like I'll remember whenyou used to just go to go there

(01:15:35):
with people. I remember when youused to um, you had a weekend.
You know, you may have hadsaid, I'm gonna just have a
little champagne. I'm celebrating. Nowyou're belligerent, but remember when you did
it every single day. So it'sjust like it just enjoyed, like the
small victors. And I think sometimeswe get caught up and we waited to
see the end result versus the momentright now. And this one is my

(01:16:00):
favorite. That's why I take offwork all the time. I mean it's
summer now, but you know,prior to rise, self care, engaging
in self care activities such as exercise, and you can meditate obviously, you
know we need different types of meditation, but help reduce stress and improve mental
well being. And then it says, as author Shauna Niquist rights, take

(01:16:24):
care of yourself before you their own. It says, take care of yourself
because you're the only you. Yougot, all right, and everybody's favorite,
which as a mental health podcast,we have to say seek professional help.
If negative self talk is innyfame withyour daily life and causing a significant
distress, it may be helpful toseek professional help. According to blogs Today's

(01:16:45):
Christian Women, it's just there's noshame in seeking health from a therapist or
counselor. Remember that these people wereplacing these professions to help you find healing
and freedom from negative self talk.So they can help you need you in
the right area. So you knowwhat I'm saying, Like I said earlier,
help you unpack why you do thingsdo now. Of course with therapy
stuff, they're not the soul healer. You have to go home and do
the homework. But they definitely giveyou the strategies and give you an outside

(01:17:10):
look from a professional and a licensepoint of view to that you can see
things like I didn't need to seeit like that, you know. So
you know me, look, Isay my bio. This podcast is for
educational entertainment purposes own, so thisis not a replacement for therapy for real,
please go to therapy educators. Weget it for free. A lot

(01:17:31):
of these colleges and things offering.When I was at t issue and back
when I was at school, itwas free, so you know, and
especially where the world is now alot of times it's free. You know,
you just gotta you just gotta godo it. And like I said,
and I say, and I knowsome people say therapy, but then
I've heard a lot of people saythat you can argue that I think that

(01:17:51):
it is. You can debate itthough, and I've heard some people who
are you know, really people likenow, I don't think it's for me,
and they gave good reasons why.But I still say, yeah,
we'll get into that out out thecamera. But um, I think you
should at least try it. So, Um, before we move into the

(01:18:14):
last segment, let me ask youone more question. Can you share some
tips on how you think me canstart prioritizing their mental and emotional health,
especially if they've been conditioned to suppresstheir feelings or avoid vulnerability. What would
you say on your podcast? Sonow people gonna hear you here and they're
gonna say, okay, bet weweren't known, but you come back.
So yeah, h this is areally good question. Um. Two,

(01:18:43):
I would say two entry level steps. As number one, I would say,
starting off, don't try to don'ttry to dive deep as soon as
you start take baby steps. That'snot thing, because people get overwhelmed.
Like when you think about trauma,when you think about mental health and emotional

(01:19:04):
health, you think about all thethings that you would have ran away from
for years years, And some peoplehave deeper and harder trauma than others,
and they've ignored it, smoking,drinking, constantly, working, constantly,
vacation, constantly running from it,and so it's heavy to deal with.

(01:19:25):
Some people can't sit still because whenthey sit still, all they do is
constant thing about it. Ain't gottarun. But what I would say is,
you know, take baby steps,start writing some things down, start
journaling right, and you know afew things like ask people around you things
you know, things about you,like if Issie like Zafe was a close
friend of whatever or family. I'mlike, you know, I'm trying.

(01:19:46):
I'm trying to work on myself,bro, But you know what, do
you give me some positive things yousee about me? Giving me some negative
shit things you see about me?And you know, try to find people
that would give you honest answers,not somebody that's going beat you down or
tear you down right but you takethose things and you compile a lists and

(01:20:06):
you start looking at it. Hesaid, Okay, what can I work
on? And so you start doingthese things, journaling, asking people close
to you or around you. Andthen what you do is what I say.
You start facing the music in everyarea of your life. You have
to face the music. A lotof times we wish it was another way
to get around to it, butthe only way to deal with it is

(01:20:28):
to face it. And when youface it, you can start conquering it.
But it's not like you said,it's an uphill it's an uphill battle.
You know what I'm saying. It'snot going to be perfect. It's
going to be a process, butyou want to start taking it piece by
piece, right, and a bigone of the biggest things I always say,
it's just think. Take time tothink. Don't be so dragged down

(01:20:49):
by those thoughts of your pastor justthink. Like people say, i'd be
so mad, Why am I somad? Then you start thinking about,
well, I was mad because ofthis man, because of that, and
then this happened. But where didthis come from? Oh? This came
from my mother always telling me toshut up when I had something to say,
and it made me man, Icouldn't do nothing about it. So

(01:21:10):
now everybody got to hear me whenI got something to saying that, they
say something about it, they're gonnafeel me yea. And so you start
retracing those stuffs. So once youstart breaking the stuff down, then you
say, Okay, I want todo opposite of that. What can I
do to start dealing with this?So just like I don't want to get

(01:21:30):
too deep, but just take babysteps, start churnealing, start tracing things
down, get to the root ofyour issues, find your triggers, find
ways that you can deal with certainthings. And don't take everything at once.
So try to take I'm trying toeat the whole, snicker at one
one piece. You don't take bites, you know, take you know what
I'm saying, Let this just takeit flow because this is a lot to
deal with. Because even when you'rewell mentally and emotionally a whole, they

(01:21:56):
could throw you off. A daycould turn you to a depression. That
day could turn you having suicidal thoatsor feelings. They could do that even
when you're well. So to dealwith your mess, you gotta take it
piece by piece. Or at leasttake it, take it piece by piece
as much as you can. Yousome people might can handle bigger chunks,

(01:22:18):
some people might need smaller chunk.But don't try to take it all at
once. Just take piece by pieceand start doing the work as a tooth.
Be told. People might think ofit in a deeper way, but
to be told, the only wayto do the work is you gotta face
it. You can't go around it, you can't mask it and try to
deal with it. You gotta faceit. Whatever it is, whether your
sister or your mother and auntie,your grandmother, your uncle, whatever they

(01:22:40):
did, you have to face it. And that's the only way you can
eventually conquer and grow past it.You've got to face You can't run from
it. You've been run from it. You've been running from it your whole
life, and nothing is changing.It seems to get worse. Because that's
why you spend a lot of yourmoney on the weed, or a lot
of your money on the alcohol,or some people even spend money on prostitutes
or emblem or addictions or whatever itmight be. That's where all your money

(01:23:03):
goes in because you've been running foreverand it seems to not be working.
So the only way to do itis you got to face it. If
you find it hard to face it, find somebody that's gonna, you know,
find techniques or tips to learn howto approach it. You know what
I'm saying. So that's what That'swhat I would say. Okay, all

(01:23:24):
right, good stuff. We loveto see it, all right, So
now let's move it to the finalsegment. Alright, game time. And
this game for this week is calledfight flight or Allow. So I'm gonna
name some scenarios and you're gonna tellme or read some SCEDIO want you to

(01:23:47):
send me whether you would what's bestto fight flight or allowed. Now,
as always, when we do thesescenarios, he may feel one way.
I'm not saying my hot field,but y'all maybe look like whom I would
who did this? I would didit? That's okay. Remember we open
to different ways of thinking, evenif we don't necessarily agree. All right,
you ready for the first one?Yeah? Sure? All right.

(01:24:08):
So you're in the middle of animportant meeting and you suddenly start to feel
anxious and self conscious. Do youfight back by reminding yourself of your strengths
and abilities run away from the feeling. Boy trying to distract yourself or allow
the feeling to pass by acknowledging itwithout judgment. M. I started to

(01:24:29):
feel anxious in the meeting. M. I think that in that moment,
I'm fighting, there's too much goingon. I'm in the meeting, I'm
feeling anxious. You know. Sometimeswhat I like to do is just kind
of breathe, just like you know, because when you're anxious, you jit

(01:24:53):
are, you're going through it.I just try to take a moment to
breathe. And you know, sometimeswe say exercises like just breathe, Like
after we breathe, I say,like, after you breathe, you're just
gonna be perfect good, Like hint, I'm good now. But sometimes I
just have to calm myself down,like you know what, I'm trying to
calm down, breathe, Just relaxmyself and like you said, reinforce those

(01:25:15):
those positive thoughts or reinforce you know, God's word or whatever I need in
that moment, you know. Sothat's that's what I would say I would
do. This is a good one. West. So you're scrolling through social
media and you come across the postat triggers feelings of jealousy and adequacy.
Do you fight back, reminding usof your own accomplishments and unique journey,

(01:25:38):
run away from the feeling by followingthe account or allowing the feelings to pass
by knowledging it without comparison. Hmm, this is good because to me,
it's gonna it's gonna depend for me, right, because I would do either

(01:25:59):
flight, which is unfollow or attimes allow. I'm gonna tell you why.
Number one, Some people, youknow, whether it be a friend
or somebody, you might just haveto mute the account. I don't want
to see your stuff because it's gonnatrigger me. Or I might just have
to follow you together because it's notgood for me. But then again,

(01:26:19):
sometimes it's those positive hauntings. Yousee somebody doing something you know you should
be doing and it's tearing you up. So that's one thing. But then
the other part, Allow because sometimesmost of the times that's what I do,
and it's a fight, right.But sometimes I might mute something if
it's too much for me. ButI say allowed because a lot of times

(01:26:42):
people underestimate the power of choice.Right. So if I seek something and
I'm trying to compare myself to it. I try to pull myself away and
say, hey, I'm not them, They're not me. Their cone is
not mim my caner is not there. As God has given me ability these
for this, He's giving me wisdomfor this in this area, and I
can do my thing. That personhe had to say, have that like,

(01:27:04):
relax, stop comparing yourself, moveon because a lot of times I
think what happens is you know,it's like I say, even something,
for example, right when it comesto jealousy, in those moments, you
have a choice. Right, let'slook at it. Let's say, for
example, you got something a famousrapper, his homie might be feeling jealous.

(01:27:27):
So what he did when the jealousycomes up, it's a choice that
you make. A lot of timesthe equote unquote friends kill them right or
backdoorm get schicy. But there's anotherroute to that jealousy. You can say,
you know what, I'm not gonnabe jealous. I'm gonna push this
down because that's not right. I'mgonna be happy for my man's But maybe

(01:27:49):
I need to get a little motionon my own. Maybe I need to
rock my boat. Maybe I needto do better, and that's why I
feel like that. So now I'mnot about to see him be a hater
and get mad because he worked forthat. I'm feeling the title like this
is supposed to be my life orwhat work did I do? Yeah?
Or maybe my work is not hittinglike I wanted to, so maybe I
need to chot something different or workharder. So it's like taking the other

(01:28:13):
path, you know what I'm saying, not trying to be or whatever.
But yeah, usually I take thoseI take those two. Okay, all
right, so this one is anothergood one. So you're in the heat
arguing with a loved one and youremotions are running high. Do you fight
back by expressing your feelings and itssubtly respectfully, run away from the situation

(01:28:34):
by shutting down and leaving the room, or allow the feelings to pass by
taking a break to cool down andreflect. For me, it's A and
C. I barely do I ever, barely ever do I running and shut

(01:28:54):
down. Um. I feel likea part of my personality also part of
my ministry just dealing with things andrelationships, and so I'm very well.
I have the stamina that just mepersonally like if we're getting into it,
like I just want to talk.I want to figure things out. My

(01:29:14):
thing is I remember having to talkto my friend one time and she's like,
you win, you win. Iwas like, I win. What
she was like, you win,you win, you can have it.
I was like, when I'm nottrying to win, I'm like, who
told you that? Like I said, I'm not. I don't want to
win nothing. I want to cometo an agreement, even if we disagree.
I want to build a bridge trustto come to an understanding. Because

(01:29:35):
what's the point of me winning?Like do I care more about you or
do I care about winning? Becauseif if it's about me winning, then
I'm actually losing. If I actuallycare about you, me winning, me
winning? Is us coming to youknow a point where we say okay,
whether we agree or we don't agree, we're here. But I'm the type
of person I can stand there andfight and just you know, boom.

(01:29:58):
But then at other times I'm Ifeel like, you know what I need
to go. I need to thinkthis through. I need to calm down.
I need some air because I don'twant to miss any key points for
overreacting any way. See what I'msaying, so, you know, a
lot of times I'm more on thefight mode, but truth be told as
good as I am in fight mode. I feel like sometimes when you want

(01:30:23):
to always deal with things at thatmoment in time, you miss some points
that you that you could have talkedabout or touched had you thought about it
a little more. So I'm takingmore time, though, you know what,
let me not speak just in thismoment. Let me take a little
bit of time to just kind ofthink this through and think about whether I
go wrong, or what I couldhave hit or what I could have did,

(01:30:44):
or you know, how he couldhave came to a better conclusion in
this situation, or if you saidsomething that triggered me, if I said
something trigger there was stuff like that. So, yeah, all right,
last thing we're gonna do because Ithink this is it saints simple, but
I don't think it's as simple asit is. So you're trying to fall
asleep, but your mind keeps racingwith anxious thoughts about the future. Do

(01:31:09):
you fight anybody using relaxation techniques andpositive afformations, run away from the feeling
by distructing yourself with TV or otheractivities, or allow the feeling to pass
by practicing mindfulness and acceptance. Mwhat's the first one again? The first
one is do you fight back usingrelaxation techniques and positive informations or run away

(01:31:33):
from the or yo h. Iwould say in this situation, I would
tend to if I could be honest, I still do be from time to

(01:31:54):
time. But I would say Ikind of dom I would say, I'm
more on the I'm more on thefight side, trying to be honest,

(01:32:16):
but trying to be as honest aspossible with myself here. I would say,
I think I do be sometimes,but I say it's somewhat. I
feel like I'm I'm picking, likeI'm supposed to pick one, but I
feel like I do so like aculmination of all them at times. But
I would say I'll probably do.When it comes to this, I do

(01:32:41):
probably a bit more. I wouldsay, Hey, okay, and it's
not and it's not always speaking.I probably do more, like you know
what, Like I know in myfuture, I want my future to look
like I'm not doing this, I'mnot doing that. Let me sit down
and write this and let me saydown and put this content together, stuff

(01:33:01):
like that. But at times Ican be very big. And I've been
dealing with myself on b lately,like one thing about me, like the
sun be shining outside. It's likea nice day. I have two errands
to run. I run two errands, and I think about two more as
if I need to run those twomore. And I started doing stuff that
I don't need to do. Nextthing, you know, half my days

(01:33:24):
gone by. Or I go toTarget for something and next scene, you
know, I'm walking around Target likethe ladies letter walk around Target Target.
It's late, but I'll be walkingaround Target as if I don't have time
to be using like I'm like bro. And then I started talking about itself,
like bro, you wasted time.Today's your off day and how many
hours did you produce anything? Youtarget? And you did this and did

(01:33:45):
that. I got to check myselfat a time. So that's something that
yeah, for real, I'll bedoing it too, Like and I'm supposed
to be cleaning up or something becauselike I gotta like mentally for pray to
do it. You know my phone, let me do, let me go
do that. I think I mightbe hongry. Let me eat again,

(01:34:05):
like if you let me check myphone let's be doing stupid stough like,
what you doing? What's this?What is this guy? Oh my gosh,
that's hilarious. Bro. It's funnybecause I'm a cleaner, so I
understand it because I know a lotof people that don't like cleaning do that,
but it's opposite for me, Likewhen it's time to clean, I'd

(01:34:26):
be like, well there's music ornot. I'll be like I'm ready.
I just boom boo boom. Butother people be like now they start making
sandwiches and stuff and start going down. I'm like that, It's hilarious.
Bro, that's funny. All right. So now let's move into the final,
which is for y'all, this ain'tfor us. So remember you answer,
you win money. What are somethoughts that you have been fighting or

(01:34:48):
allowed that you shouldn't have, andhow do you plan to conquer this in
the near future? So yeah,ask you a question, what do you
do to plan to fight that inin their future? All right, So,
so far this season, this isthe longest episode. Um full of
gyms, though I'm gonna behavior strugglingtrying to fair out which two quotes I
want to use to like postum,which minute which minute long quotes I want

(01:35:13):
to post. So let me askyou as we leave in anything else you
want to drop to the people orlet them know before you ago. Uh
listen, UM number one, thankyou for having me. BRO was a
pleasure to be here. Definitely,I had some fun with you, man,
it's long awaited. UM. Butmy socials, I'm pretty sure they'll

(01:35:35):
be there, but you know youcan follow me on ig might t Jenkins.
Um, I got some stuff comingout. UM. I can't wait
for you guys to see some ofthe things that are going to be produced.
But other than that, look forwardto building some community. UM.
And also um I said it's alot. I feel like I'm kind of

(01:35:56):
skipping. I'm a little bit tiredfor getting me. But UM, any
women, UM, you know yougot a little cousins or little look,
you got some cousins, you gotsome uncles or just whoever that might need
help. UM. I would saymostly you know the younger men, you
know, send them my way orjust even send them to certain resources.

(01:36:19):
But UM, definitely, uh,I feel like you definitely have some stuff
that can help your family members thatneed it. UM. Soon I'm definitely
be doing something mentoring this year,and even if you want to feel like
you need to understand how to betterdevelop a relationship with your brother, your

(01:36:39):
father, cousin, whoever it mightbe. Um, you know, tune
into the podcast, tune into allthe information I'm giving um, because it's
some whole heartest stuff and my hardestto really help and help develop our men
so men could be better for notjust themselves, but also for the community,
for the world, for the peoplein their lives, and just everything

(01:37:00):
that touch. So yeah, man, that's all I got. That's all
I got. All right. Welove to see it, all right,
y'all. So his stuff will definitelybe in and we're definitely gonna probably probably
not this season, but we'll definitelyprobably do like another episode in the near
future from another topic. Um,you know how to do. It's not
too many people I bring back,but it's a handful that I do.

(01:37:23):
And I actually some of your favoritesto the last few seasons. I want
to try to get them on thisseason to bring them back and do like
an update. So, um,that's all I got. Thank you for
pulling up great episode full of alot of good stuff. PSA. Signing
out, I always remember to keepit. Hit him like your neck hurt.
Remember who you are and make yourmind up. Don't let him make you peace

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