July 17, 2025 • 21 mins
***The Asha Christina Tapes***
Hi my Angels !!!! ahhh YES!!! I recorded this highly requested video on how to be situationship proof!!! I hope this enriches and helps you all!!! I love you!
Hi my Angels !!!! ahhh YES!!! I recorded this highly requested video on how to be situationship proof!!! I hope this enriches and helps you all!!! I love you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello angels, welcome back to my channel.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I know you guys have definitely missed me like I
have missed you guys. So we're back again with a
very very good video. And this video I want to say,
I don't mean to sound like every typical YouTuber.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
And saying this video is so highly on questioned, but
it was.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Okay, this is a video you guys all have been
waiting for how to be situationship proof. But before we
get on into this video, I want you guys to
give me a thumbs up because that really helps me
and we really want to grow the A team. Also,
make sure that your post notifications are turned on so
that you notified every single time that I post.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I've been, you know, getting a long consistent here. You
want to tap tap tap in.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
And before also we move on to this video, I
want to announce out of my own mouth that I
only have one Instagram which will be over here, okay.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
And I only have one YouTube channel.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Before there was some sort of weird discrepancy where someone
was impersonating me pretending to be me. If you do
not hear it out of my mouth that I'm creating
a new channel or a new Instagram.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Then don't believe the hype people.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Okay, anyways, let's get right on into this video. So
what we will be discussing here is what does it
mean to be in a situationship, how to identify if
you are in a situationship, and how to get out
of one, and lastly, how to avoid a situationship.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I feel like a lot of us can benefit from this.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Because we need to put a stop to situationships twenty
twenty one. We you know, the new year is around
the corner and we cannot keep these things going any longer. Okay,
And if you are a subscriber of this channel, which
you totally should be, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
You need to get on this wave.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
So number one, firstly, what is a situationship? So a
situationship is when an individual is essentially committed to another individual,
but that person and is not committed or because there
are different types of situationships, both parties refuse to commit
to each other but remain involved with one another.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I don't understand it.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
So firstly, we have to identify how would we know
if we are in a situationship?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Well, here's first thing.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
If you cannot call that person your significant other, i e.
Your boyfriend, your girlfriend. That should tell you all that
you need to know right then and there. It's not
a relationship. If you can call this person your boyfriend
your girlfriend, it's not a relationship. Why Because relationships have boundaries,
relationships have accountability. Okay, there's clarity in that in knowing. Okay,
(02:42):
if I were to be involved with this person, be
committed to this person, if they were to do this
outside of our mutual commitment, then they have to be
held accountable for those things.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
A lot of us.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Are still single, you know, uh, because we are saying
in situationships and some of us are committing.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
To single people.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I'm genuinely concerned for literally the human collective.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And I get it.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's way easier said than done when you are involved
with somebody and you have feelings for somebody and you're
hoping something would change, but you have to read the
writing on the wall. Do we want to learn how
to get out of situationships or not? So if there's
any confusion of well, I mean, we're not in relationship
(03:29):
right now, but like he did say like I could
see you as my wife, and like.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I don't care what he said. People say a lot
of things.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Okay, that doesn't always mean that they mean it, and
there is absolutely a such thing.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
When we really like people.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
We hold on so tightly to their words and we
associate so much like significance and great feelings because we
are hoping for a certain outcome and we may never
even reach that outcome. So we just stay in these
types of dynamics and we end up breaking our own
heart and we have to stop doing that, holding on.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Like some people they know the right things to say.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
You know, I could really see you as my wife,
you know, you know, like it's just you know, right now,
like let's just keep doing what we're doing. For what
for why if he wanted to commit, he actually would, right,
what is the purpose of seeing you as their wife?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
But you haven't even gone to the girlfriend's stage yet, now,
you know what?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Like now I know one thing. He wants to jump
the gun without even taking a shot at all. Like
I'm very confused, Like how does that even work? And
that's word fluffing, okay, just to keep say whatever, to
keep you link. I mean, he sees me as his
life one day, and you're holding onto that, not realizing
that you're not even this guy's girlfriend yet and he's
(04:47):
talking about you being his I'm moving on to point
number two. How do you get out of a situationship?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Now? This this is.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Tough because you know, once feelings are involved, common sense
isn't so common and we can back up a lot
of different things to fit the narrative of whatever it.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Is that we like.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
This is how we easily get suckered into situations where
there's a lot of passive reciprocation going on, where it's
like you'll text a guy or even fellas, you'll text
a girl and you know every time you write them,
he or she is answering back. But and you'll think,
oh my god, like they're obviously still feeling me because
(05:30):
they're responding, and it's like, no, that's passive reciprocation.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
You're watering a dead plant.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
If you don't say a word to this individual, they're
not going to say a word to you. If you're
not messaging this individual with plans, okay, they are not
even thinking about you literally at all.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
When you do.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Message messages person with plans, they promise something but never
really solidify anything, like everything is always up in the air.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
You have to pay attention to the signs. Okay, so
as it pertains to getting out of a situationship, I
need you to understand this.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Okay, you have to be okay with walking away, all right?
And I know it's such a cumbersome thing to have
the discussion of, like what aren't we It's heavy. That's
why how you say things and the delivery is what's
going to make all of the difference. Okay, So avoid
(06:23):
saying those specific words. Hey, I one, you never want
to say this to anyone, Okay, woman or man, Hey
we need to talk. No, nobody wants to talk to
you now, like not a soul wants to talk to
you now, because who wants to deal with someone?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Hey we need to talk. I'm sorry, what are the
principal's offices going on here? Like?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I think people really need to start taking a little
bit accountability.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Let me take this segue really quickly.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
People need to start taking a little bit accountability for
how they're delivering certain messages because nobody wants to sit
around feeling like the person that they are involved with
is like the principal.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Hey we need to talk. What is happening over here?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Okay, It's all about how you ask a question and
how you are delivering a certain message, because you never
want to make anyone feel like you're pressuring them. So
what is something What is a phrase that you can
say to have that conversation to kind of see where
that person is without necessarily scaring them.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Away or making it this big you know deal.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Okay, hear me ask. So here's something lighthearted that you
could say. Hey, if exclusivity is genuinely something that you
don't want, you don't seem like you are on that page,
then I'm genuinely okay with that. Like, when you're actually
saying this message, angels, I want you guys to actually
mean it. Not use this as some sort of reverse psychology.
(07:44):
Not use this as some sort of ploy to get
him to fight for you, because that's another thing that's
very toxic.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Some people, just as.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Much as yes men or hunters and guys do enjoy
like the chase that's natural to them, some.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Of us have a tox sick attraction to like, I
just want to know that he's fighting for me. Just
fight for me, fight for me. We get it.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
You've seen a lot of rom coms, but this is reality, okay.
And when it comes to being emotionally mature and having
a sound mind.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
It's very important.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
That we are speaking our truth and that we can
deliver messages to people and get the truth from them
without honestly like playing games.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
You know, we don't have to do all that.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
When you're emotionally mature, you can ask this question without
scaring that person like into not wanting to have the
conversation with you, and you can also have the conversation
and get closure for yourself. That is a perfect way
what I just said to figure out where that person's
head is at if they genuinely whatever their response is,
if it's not I'm willing to commit and be with
(08:53):
you and seeing where that goes, or he can answer
and say you know, yeah, I mean I just want
to keep things like how they are. Well, you don't
want to keep things with how they are, so you
have to be honest with yourself and say like, hey,
like you this is going well, but hey, feel free
to explore other options if you know being exclusive is
(09:13):
not something that you genuinely want to do, And that
opens up the conversation of maybe he can say, well,
how do you know that I don't want to be
exclusive and it's like, well, personally, I feel like I
really enjoy my time with you. We've been dating for
X amount of months, and I just kind of am
looking for something that is more exclusive and solid, and
I do enjoy my time with you.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
If that's not something that is on.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Your mind, then I'm fine with that and genuinely be
okay with that.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
That way, you're not putting any pressure on them.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
You're giving them the autonomy and the option to make
their own decision. And that's how you're going to get
a real answer, or at least to an emotionally mature individual,
that's how you can get a solid answer, because if
somebody is going to be playing games, you know, with you,
or even if someone approaches it from a drama standpoint,
and I talked about this in another video, there's a
(10:02):
difference between emotions and drama.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
You know. I just feel like you're wasting my time.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
No one's gonna play me scared, Like, why do you
have to you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Like, you don't have to.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Approach it from that place, because, whether you realize it
or not, to someone that is more emotionally mature and sound,
it's a trauma response. No one's going to play me.
I just feel like, Okay, if you don't want to
be with me, then say that. Hard conversations are hard
to have for a reason, you know what I mean.
And I think as we evolve as individuals and as adults,
(10:35):
we do have to get comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations.
Our egos are so involved. I don't want to look stupid.
I'm not going to mention this to this person because
I don't want to look dumb.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I don't know what he's going to say all of
these different things.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
After you hit the age of twenty five, enough is enough, okay,
and you should be able to deliver this information without
making someone feel guilty for their actual decision and without
harping you know, any sort of negative you know, feelings
about them and demonizing their character just because they simply
may not want to be with you. Okay, So keep
that in mind. So, yes, that is the way that
(11:10):
you can get out of a situationship. It's a conversation
that needs to be had. That is how you get
out of a situationship. It's better than ghosting, because if
you ghosts, you know there's always going to be that
Shita Kulda woulda and ghosting sometimes is definitely tied.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
With your ego.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
It's like, all right, well if I disappear, then he
can be like, where have you been? You just stop
coming around And it feels good to us because it
feels like, wow, they must really want me. And that's
a thin line because it's like what if they probably
really don't want to be with you still, but they
just genuinely they're genuinely curious, like where you went, like
you just you went ghosts So they could just be
(11:47):
asking from you know, as a general question, and you
could be reading it as I knew.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
They'd be back.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
No, yeah, like they'd be back, and it's like, no,
they just want to know kind of what happened. It
doesn't necessarily mean that they you have to understand, as
it pertains to being in a relationship, it needs to
be a mutual decision.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
For the most part, why a lot of us have.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Been in situationships, maybe why some of us are in
situationships is because we are making decisions that two people
should be making on our own. And until people have
the open conversation and everyone is able to be truly
vulnerable and own their feelings, whether that's just you or
even better, if that's the both of you, then you
(12:32):
really can't move forward. So now we're going to be
talking about avoiding situationships. Number One, you do not want
to ignore the red flags.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Too many times we're ignoring red flags.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
You go out with this guy and one day if
he's screaming at the waiter and you're like, well, she
did give him the wrong order, and.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
It's like, okay, but the way he acted is unhinged.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I'm concerned for your lack of judgment and you're compromise
and accepting odd behavior because you like this guy. I
remember when I was in high school and I had
this boyfriend and he was mean to everyone, and I
was like, he's nice to me though, and it was
all fun and games until him being nice to me
(13:14):
turned into him being mean to me just like everybody else.
So you do have to consider especially you know, that's
saying where people are like you have to watch how
people treat waiters and waitresses because and like service people,
because it tells you a lot about their character.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
That is true, Okay, that is very very true.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Even how people's relationships are with their parents too. You know,
it may not always be the best, but are they
able to talk about it from a place of respect
and not disrespect, Because that's something to look at as
it pertains to how good of a partner they could
possibly be. If the first people that they were supposed
to love that relationship is in some way tarnished, that's
(13:53):
something that you should be paying attention to. Next on
how to avoid a situationship. If a guy tells you
that he's not ready for a relationship, believe him the
first time.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Please. They will let you know, okay. And this is
another thing that I think we need to be mindful
of is.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
When we are so busy, like talking, talking, talking, talking,
this guy is just going with the flow of everything
that you've been saying. You don't know anything about him.
He knows everything about you, and you're just giving him
the blueprint over here, Oh my accident, Buy me flowers.
And the first thing he's gonna do is buy you
flowers because he's so different from the rest of the guys.
(14:33):
And it's just like you can talk and share, but
you also have to listen because one you want to
be mindful of things like that. You don't want to
make someone feel like all you ever do is talk
about yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And also you want to.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Get data, you know, that's what dating is on that individual,
so that you're able to make a sound decision too.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
If you're in a situationship, it's probably.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Because a lot of the things are one sided, you
know what I mean, Otherwise you wouldn't be in there
because again, like I said, mutual agreement and that's what
a real relationship is. So yes, don't unconvince yourself. If
someone is outright telling you, you know, I'm not really
looking for anything right now, don't think all right, well,
I mean he I mean, so everyone says that in
(15:15):
the beginning.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
People get into relationships all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And they say I'm not looking for anything, and then
they still end up in relationships. Like stop trying to
be the exception to the rule. That's the problem with
some of us. We're trying to be the exception to
the rule. I think that sometimes things really need to
just flow. And by no means do I want to
have to like fight to prove that someone really wants
(15:38):
to be with me when I they already told me
how they felt in the beginning, and they don't feel
any sort of obligation to stop what's going on because
they feel like they were already truthful. They told me
what's up, So every single thing that happens from that
point on is on me, is on you.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Pay attention to that.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
And lastly, what I want to say to a wad
situationships is be honest. And I know definitely probably in
my content in the past two I may have said
like you can't.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Like show this person this or that. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
What I'm saying now, as I have evolved as an
individual is I think it's very important that we do
own our feelings. You can't run away. I believe the
right person or the person that chooses that they want
to be with you. Because relationships are a choice. You
are not going to look stupid. You should not be
concerned about that, especially if you're over the age of
(16:32):
twenty five. You should not worry about looking stupid to
this person for really seeing how you feel. Because I
think that when we insert too much of our ego
into situations, which happens a lot more times than not,
the collateral damage of how we choose to leave certain
situations is you know, the shouldakuda woulda And that's when
(16:52):
you resort to feeling like you have to show that
you're doing better than him on Instagram, and you have to.
You're not going to block him on it because you
don't want to seem to hurt. So you're gonna just
like keep posting all you and your friend's partying and
your story so that he sees how good you look,
and maybe he'll miss you because he sees that you know,
you're wearing his favorite dress, that he told you that
you looked amazing, and and you just find yourself in
(17:15):
this toxic loop of always trying to prove, like, see
what you're missing, see what you're missing, see what you're missing.
And the truth is, Angels, that no one's really missing
you if they really didn't want to be with you
in the first place.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
And I know that's a hard pill to swallow.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
But how can you make someone miss something that they never.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Had or that they never wanted.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
You can't, And I think that it's a hard pill
to swallow, but it's the truth. So all that proving,
all of that subliminal messages, all of that you know
you're posting about his sign and.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Your story, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And that is a difference between choosing drama and emotions,
you know what I mean, Like a bunch of these
subliminals guys know probably when you're talking about them, but
they're not.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
What are they going to do? Respond? Or that's how
you feel?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I mean, maybe some of them might, but it's like,
is that going to get you the guy? No, if
you just simply own what it is that you want,
own how it is that you feel, genuinely and again
especially cater to my ladies over the age of twenty five,
if he's not on the same page as you and
on the same playing.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Field, then what can you really do? Wouldn't you rather
know that you.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Genuinely were honest with yourself and owned how you feel.
Because I realize, in trying to come from such a
place of like protection, that sometimes we draw exactly to
us what it is that we don't want. We're so
obsessed about a certain outcome, not turning out a certain way,
that we get that exact thing.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
I don't want to be played.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I don't want to be I've never seen anyone obsess
over not wanting.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
To be played, actually not get.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Please, I'm not even kidding, like I haven't seen it.
So it made me question I'm like, hmm, how can
I reframe my mindset as it pertains to relationships and
dating and things like that? And all I could ever
do is offer you, guys, advice and expertise on how
to avoid certain situations, of course, because I actively do it. However,
(19:21):
I think it's important that.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
We really do own our feelings and.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
We're able to express ourselves without drama. Emotion over drama, Okay,
drama is not something that we want. Okay, there's a
way to say everything to someone and you cannot get
upset if you chose Okay, you have to be aware
and take accountability to stay with someone. And they said
(19:45):
they didn't want to be in a relationship and you
were like, well, you should have just made sure that
you reiterated that you weren't saying you didn't want to
be in a relationship when you slept with me and
did all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
And it's like, but this person told you how they felt.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
In the beginning, and let's be honest, you can tell
when someone's really playing games with you. That is on
you to figure out, okay, because the truth is not
everyone's going to be upfront. But that doesn't mean that
you can't be Okay, what are you gonna do? Morph
into every person that is, you know, ill behaved like. No,
you need to keep your own moral integrity, your own
(20:19):
moral compass, and that's.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
What really matters.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
So that is the end of this video. Angels, Again,
do not forget to subscribe to this channel. We are
almost at two hundred thousand subscribers, and I really want
to do something special for when I hit two hundred k.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I definitely am going to be doing a.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Lot more premieres, okay, And so make sure that you
are tuned in, you're following me on Instagram, you're doing
all that stuff, You're staying in touch with me because
that way you'll know when I'm premiering videos and everything
like that. So do not forget that I love you
and God loves
Speaker 1 (20:54):
You, and I'll see you, beautiful angels, do my next video.
Hello angels, welcome back to my channel.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I know you guys have definitely missed me like I
have missed you guys. So we're back again with a
very very good video. And this video I want to say,
I don't mean to sound like every typical YouTuber.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
And saying this video is so highly on questioned, but
it was.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Okay, this is a video you guys all have been
waiting for how to be situationship proof. But before we
get on into this video, I want you guys to
give me a thumbs up because that really helps me
and we really want to grow the A team. Also,
make sure that your post notifications are turned on so
that you notified every single time that I post.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I've been, you know, getting a long consistent here. You
want to tap tap tap in.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
And before also we move on to this video, I
want to announce out of my own mouth that I
only have one Instagram which will be over here, okay.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
And I only have one YouTube channel.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Before there was some sort of weird discrepancy where someone
was impersonating me pretending to be me. If you do
not hear it out of my mouth that I'm creating
a new channel or a new Instagram.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Then don't believe the hype people.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Okay, anyways, let's get right on into this video. So
what we will be discussing here is what does it
mean to be in a situationship, how to identify if
you are in a situationship, and how to get out
of one, and lastly, how to avoid a situationship.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I feel like a lot of us can benefit from this.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Because we need to put a stop to situationships twenty
twenty one. We you know, the new year is around
the corner and we cannot keep these things going any longer. Okay,
And if you are a subscriber of this channel, which
you totally should be, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
You need to get on this wave.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
So number one, firstly, what is a situationship? So a
situationship is when an individual is essentially committed to another individual,
but that person and is not committed or because there
are different types of situationships, both parties refuse to commit
to each other but remain involved with one another.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I don't understand it.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
So firstly, we have to identify how would we know
if we are in a situationship?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Well, here's first thing.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
If you cannot call that person your significant other, i e.
Your boyfriend, your girlfriend. That should tell you all that
you need to know right then and there. It's not
a relationship. If you can call this person your boyfriend
your girlfriend, it's not a relationship. Why Because relationships have boundaries,
relationships have accountability. Okay, there's clarity in that in knowing. Okay,
(02:42):
if I were to be involved with this person, be
committed to this person, if they were to do this
outside of our mutual commitment, then they have to be
held accountable for those things.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
A lot of us.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Are still single, you know, uh, because we are saying
in situationships and some of us are committing.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
To single people.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I'm genuinely concerned for literally the human collective.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And I get it.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's way easier said than done when you are involved
with somebody and you have feelings for somebody and you're
hoping something would change, but you have to read the
writing on the wall. Do we want to learn how
to get out of situationships or not? So if there's
any confusion of well, I mean, we're not in relationship
(03:29):
right now, but like he did say like I could
see you as my wife, and like.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I don't care what he said. People say a lot
of things.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Okay, that doesn't always mean that they mean it, and
there is absolutely a such thing.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
When we really like people.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
We hold on so tightly to their words and we
associate so much like significance and great feelings because we
are hoping for a certain outcome and we may never
even reach that outcome. So we just stay in these
types of dynamics and we end up breaking our own
heart and we have to stop doing that, holding on.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Like some people they know the right things to say.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
You know, I could really see you as my wife,
you know, you know, like it's just you know, right now,
like let's just keep doing what we're doing. For what
for why if he wanted to commit, he actually would, right,
what is the purpose of seeing you as their wife?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
But you haven't even gone to the girlfriend's stage yet, now,
you know what?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Like now I know one thing. He wants to jump
the gun without even taking a shot at all. Like
I'm very confused, Like how does that even work? And
that's word fluffing, okay, just to keep say whatever, to
keep you link. I mean, he sees me as his
life one day, and you're holding onto that, not realizing
that you're not even this guy's girlfriend yet and he's
(04:47):
talking about you being his I'm moving on to point
number two. How do you get out of a situationship?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Now? This this is.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Tough because you know, once feelings are involved, common sense
isn't so common and we can back up a lot
of different things to fit the narrative of whatever it.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Is that we like.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
This is how we easily get suckered into situations where
there's a lot of passive reciprocation going on, where it's
like you'll text a guy or even fellas, you'll text
a girl and you know every time you write them,
he or she is answering back. But and you'll think,
oh my god, like they're obviously still feeling me because
(05:30):
they're responding, and it's like, no, that's passive reciprocation.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
You're watering a dead plant.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
If you don't say a word to this individual, they're
not going to say a word to you. If you're
not messaging this individual with plans, okay, they are not
even thinking about you literally at all.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
When you do.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Message messages person with plans, they promise something but never
really solidify anything, like everything is always up in the air.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
You have to pay attention to the signs. Okay, so
as it pertains to getting out of a situationship, I
need you to understand this.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Okay, you have to be okay with walking away, all right?
And I know it's such a cumbersome thing to have
the discussion of, like what aren't we It's heavy. That's
why how you say things and the delivery is what's
going to make all of the difference. Okay, So avoid
(06:23):
saying those specific words. Hey, I one, you never want
to say this to anyone, Okay, woman or man, Hey
we need to talk. No, nobody wants to talk to
you now, like not a soul wants to talk to
you now, because who wants to deal with someone?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Hey we need to talk. I'm sorry, what are the
principal's offices going on here? Like?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I think people really need to start taking a little
bit accountability.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Let me take this segue really quickly.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
People need to start taking a little bit accountability for
how they're delivering certain messages because nobody wants to sit
around feeling like the person that they are involved with
is like the principal.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Hey we need to talk. What is happening over here?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Okay, It's all about how you ask a question and
how you are delivering a certain message, because you never
want to make anyone feel like you're pressuring them. So
what is something What is a phrase that you can
say to have that conversation to kind of see where
that person is without necessarily scaring them.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Away or making it this big you know deal.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Okay, hear me ask. So here's something lighthearted that you
could say. Hey, if exclusivity is genuinely something that you
don't want, you don't seem like you are on that page,
then I'm genuinely okay with that. Like, when you're actually
saying this message, angels, I want you guys to actually
mean it. Not use this as some sort of reverse psychology.
(07:44):
Not use this as some sort of ploy to get
him to fight for you, because that's another thing that's
very toxic.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Some people, just as.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Much as yes men or hunters and guys do enjoy
like the chase that's natural to them, some.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Of us have a tox sick attraction to like, I
just want to know that he's fighting for me. Just
fight for me, fight for me. We get it.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
You've seen a lot of rom coms, but this is reality, okay.
And when it comes to being emotionally mature and having
a sound mind.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
It's very important.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
That we are speaking our truth and that we can
deliver messages to people and get the truth from them
without honestly like playing games.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
You know, we don't have to do all that.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
When you're emotionally mature, you can ask this question without
scaring that person like into not wanting to have the
conversation with you, and you can also have the conversation
and get closure for yourself. That is a perfect way
what I just said to figure out where that person's
head is at if they genuinely whatever their response is,
if it's not I'm willing to commit and be with
(08:53):
you and seeing where that goes, or he can answer
and say you know, yeah, I mean I just want
to keep things like how they are. Well, you don't
want to keep things with how they are, so you
have to be honest with yourself and say like, hey,
like you this is going well, but hey, feel free
to explore other options if you know being exclusive is
(09:13):
not something that you genuinely want to do, And that
opens up the conversation of maybe he can say, well,
how do you know that I don't want to be
exclusive and it's like, well, personally, I feel like I
really enjoy my time with you. We've been dating for
X amount of months, and I just kind of am
looking for something that is more exclusive and solid, and
I do enjoy my time with you.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
If that's not something that is on.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Your mind, then I'm fine with that and genuinely be
okay with that.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
That way, you're not putting any pressure on them.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
You're giving them the autonomy and the option to make
their own decision. And that's how you're going to get
a real answer, or at least to an emotionally mature individual,
that's how you can get a solid answer, because if
somebody is going to be playing games, you know, with you,
or even if someone approaches it from a drama standpoint,
and I talked about this in another video, there's a
(10:02):
difference between emotions and drama.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
You know. I just feel like you're wasting my time.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
No one's gonna play me scared, Like, why do you
have to you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Like, you don't have to.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Approach it from that place, because, whether you realize it
or not, to someone that is more emotionally mature and sound,
it's a trauma response. No one's going to play me.
I just feel like, Okay, if you don't want to
be with me, then say that. Hard conversations are hard
to have for a reason, you know what I mean.
And I think as we evolve as individuals and as adults,
(10:35):
we do have to get comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations.
Our egos are so involved. I don't want to look stupid.
I'm not going to mention this to this person because
I don't want to look dumb.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I don't know what he's going to say all of
these different things.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
After you hit the age of twenty five, enough is enough, okay,
and you should be able to deliver this information without
making someone feel guilty for their actual decision and without
harping you know, any sort of negative you know, feelings
about them and demonizing their character just because they simply
may not want to be with you. Okay, So keep
that in mind. So, yes, that is the way that
(11:10):
you can get out of a situationship. It's a conversation
that needs to be had. That is how you get
out of a situationship. It's better than ghosting, because if
you ghosts, you know there's always going to be that
Shita Kulda woulda and ghosting sometimes is definitely tied.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
With your ego.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
It's like, all right, well if I disappear, then he
can be like, where have you been? You just stop
coming around And it feels good to us because it
feels like, wow, they must really want me. And that's
a thin line because it's like what if they probably
really don't want to be with you still, but they
just genuinely they're genuinely curious, like where you went, like
you just you went ghosts So they could just be
(11:47):
asking from you know, as a general question, and you
could be reading it as I knew.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
They'd be back.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
No, yeah, like they'd be back, and it's like, no,
they just want to know kind of what happened. It
doesn't necessarily mean that they you have to understand, as
it pertains to being in a relationship, it needs to
be a mutual decision.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
For the most part, why a lot of us have.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Been in situationships, maybe why some of us are in
situationships is because we are making decisions that two people
should be making on our own. And until people have
the open conversation and everyone is able to be truly
vulnerable and own their feelings, whether that's just you or
even better, if that's the both of you, then you
(12:32):
really can't move forward. So now we're going to be
talking about avoiding situationships. Number One, you do not want
to ignore the red flags.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Too many times we're ignoring red flags.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
You go out with this guy and one day if
he's screaming at the waiter and you're like, well, she
did give him the wrong order, and.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
It's like, okay, but the way he acted is unhinged.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I'm concerned for your lack of judgment and you're compromise
and accepting odd behavior because you like this guy. I
remember when I was in high school and I had
this boyfriend and he was mean to everyone, and I
was like, he's nice to me though, and it was
all fun and games until him being nice to me
(13:14):
turned into him being mean to me just like everybody else.
So you do have to consider especially you know, that's
saying where people are like you have to watch how
people treat waiters and waitresses because and like service people,
because it tells you a lot about their character.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
That is true, Okay, that is very very true.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Even how people's relationships are with their parents too. You know,
it may not always be the best, but are they
able to talk about it from a place of respect
and not disrespect, Because that's something to look at as
it pertains to how good of a partner they could
possibly be. If the first people that they were supposed
to love that relationship is in some way tarnished, that's
(13:53):
something that you should be paying attention to. Next on
how to avoid a situationship. If a guy tells you
that he's not ready for a relationship, believe him the
first time.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Please. They will let you know, okay. And this is
another thing that I think we need to be mindful
of is.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
When we are so busy, like talking, talking, talking, talking,
this guy is just going with the flow of everything
that you've been saying. You don't know anything about him.
He knows everything about you, and you're just giving him
the blueprint over here, Oh my accident, Buy me flowers.
And the first thing he's gonna do is buy you
flowers because he's so different from the rest of the guys.
(14:33):
And it's just like you can talk and share, but
you also have to listen because one you want to
be mindful of things like that. You don't want to
make someone feel like all you ever do is talk
about yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And also you want to.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Get data, you know, that's what dating is on that individual,
so that you're able to make a sound decision too.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
If you're in a situationship, it's probably.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Because a lot of the things are one sided, you
know what I mean, Otherwise you wouldn't be in there
because again, like I said, mutual agreement and that's what
a real relationship is. So yes, don't unconvince yourself. If
someone is outright telling you, you know, I'm not really
looking for anything right now, don't think all right, well,
I mean he I mean, so everyone says that in
(15:15):
the beginning.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
People get into relationships all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And they say I'm not looking for anything, and then
they still end up in relationships. Like stop trying to
be the exception to the rule. That's the problem with
some of us. We're trying to be the exception to
the rule. I think that sometimes things really need to
just flow. And by no means do I want to
have to like fight to prove that someone really wants
(15:38):
to be with me when I they already told me
how they felt in the beginning, and they don't feel
any sort of obligation to stop what's going on because
they feel like they were already truthful. They told me
what's up, So every single thing that happens from that
point on is on me, is on you.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Pay attention to that.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
And lastly, what I want to say to a wad
situationships is be honest. And I know definitely probably in
my content in the past two I may have said
like you can't.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Like show this person this or that. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
What I'm saying now, as I have evolved as an
individual is I think it's very important that we do
own our feelings. You can't run away. I believe the
right person or the person that chooses that they want
to be with you. Because relationships are a choice. You
are not going to look stupid. You should not be
concerned about that, especially if you're over the age of
(16:32):
twenty five. You should not worry about looking stupid to
this person for really seeing how you feel. Because I
think that when we insert too much of our ego
into situations, which happens a lot more times than not,
the collateral damage of how we choose to leave certain
situations is you know, the shouldakuda woulda And that's when
(16:52):
you resort to feeling like you have to show that
you're doing better than him on Instagram, and you have to.
You're not going to block him on it because you
don't want to seem to hurt. So you're gonna just
like keep posting all you and your friend's partying and
your story so that he sees how good you look,
and maybe he'll miss you because he sees that you know,
you're wearing his favorite dress, that he told you that
you looked amazing, and and you just find yourself in
(17:15):
this toxic loop of always trying to prove, like, see
what you're missing, see what you're missing, see what you're missing.
And the truth is, Angels, that no one's really missing
you if they really didn't want to be with you
in the first place.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
And I know that's a hard pill to swallow.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
But how can you make someone miss something that they never.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Had or that they never wanted.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
You can't, And I think that it's a hard pill
to swallow, but it's the truth. So all that proving,
all of that subliminal messages, all of that you know
you're posting about his sign and.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Your story, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And that is a difference between choosing drama and emotions,
you know what I mean, Like a bunch of these
subliminals guys know probably when you're talking about them, but
they're not.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
What are they going to do? Respond? Or that's how
you feel?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I mean, maybe some of them might, but it's like,
is that going to get you the guy? No, if
you just simply own what it is that you want,
own how it is that you feel, genuinely and again
especially cater to my ladies over the age of twenty five,
if he's not on the same page as you and
on the same playing.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Field, then what can you really do? Wouldn't you rather
know that you.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Genuinely were honest with yourself and owned how you feel.
Because I realize, in trying to come from such a
place of like protection, that sometimes we draw exactly to
us what it is that we don't want. We're so
obsessed about a certain outcome, not turning out a certain way,
that we get that exact thing.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
I don't want to be played.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I don't want to be I've never seen anyone obsess
over not wanting.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
To be played, actually not get.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Please, I'm not even kidding, like I haven't seen it.
So it made me question I'm like, hmm, how can
I reframe my mindset as it pertains to relationships and
dating and things like that? And all I could ever
do is offer you, guys, advice and expertise on how
to avoid certain situations, of course, because I actively do it. However,
(19:21):
I think it's important that.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
We really do own our feelings and.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
We're able to express ourselves without drama. Emotion over drama, Okay,
drama is not something that we want. Okay, there's a
way to say everything to someone and you cannot get
upset if you chose Okay, you have to be aware
and take accountability to stay with someone. And they said
(19:45):
they didn't want to be in a relationship and you
were like, well, you should have just made sure that
you reiterated that you weren't saying you didn't want to
be in a relationship when you slept with me and
did all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
And it's like, but this person told you how they felt.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
In the beginning, and let's be honest, you can tell
when someone's really playing games with you. That is on
you to figure out, okay, because the truth is not
everyone's going to be upfront. But that doesn't mean that
you can't be Okay, what are you gonna do? Morph
into every person that is, you know, ill behaved like. No,
you need to keep your own moral integrity, your own
(20:19):
moral compass, and that's.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
What really matters.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
So that is the end of this video. Angels, Again,
do not forget to subscribe to this channel. We are
almost at two hundred thousand subscribers, and I really want
to do something special for when I hit two hundred k.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I definitely am going to be doing a.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Lot more premieres, okay, And so make sure that you
are tuned in, you're following me on Instagram, you're doing
all that stuff, You're staying in touch with me because
that way you'll know when I'm premiering videos and everything
like that. So do not forget that I love you
and God loves
Speaker 1 (20:54):
You, and I'll see you, beautiful angels, do my next video.
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