November 20, 2025 • 37 mins
Hi my Angels !!!! Welcome back to my channel for all my A-Team!!! In todays episode, I discuss the various ways to to identify why a guy may not be into you. Oh yes my loves, you're going to want to watch this all the way through!!! I promise it will help! I really hope you guys enjoy this because the response to my longer episodes are amazing which is so flattering!!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, my loves, Welcome back to my channel. Everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Welcome to my channel for all my new subscribers, Hello everybody.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
My name is Aisha Castina. Very nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I'm really excited to talk about this topic today. Yes,
but before we jump on into that, you guys should
know that I do receive a ton of dms on
the daily asking me for advice.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I get emails too.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
My email, guys, is for business only, so the best
way to get in contact with me is via Wizzio.
I now am offering a news service where I am
doing live phone calls.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yes, I will personally be calling you, texting you.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
To confirm, make sure you show up, and you can
tell me one on one about your situation.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
So if you don't want the video, then you don't
have to offer that. You can opt for getting a
phone call from me.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
But also I do record the phone call as well
to send to you, just so that you have that
to look back on. Because sometimes when we're in a
situation and we're just hearing about something, we don't always grasp,
you know, and take in everything.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
So it's good to.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Have that as a reference. So that will be in
the description box below. Also, if you were not by now,
make sure that you were following me on Instagram. Okay,
that'll be over here. And also do not forget to
subscribe to this channel. We have a goal here of
two hundred k. Okay, we are trying to expand and
grow the A team, so I really want you guys
to do.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Part of that.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
In my journey of what we hit two hundred k,
I think I should do something special for two hundred k.
Maybe a giveaway, maybe like a little sleepover together, like
via live or something.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
You guys give me ideas in the comments section below,
but let's dive.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Right into this. Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I'm actually really excited to talk about this topic and
I feel like I have a lot to say. I
feel like I have been having a lot to say,
which always is a good thing. You guys, by the way,
respond very well to long videos of mine. Even since
the beginning of time of my channel, when I used
to upload videos that were literally like forty.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Minutes fifty minutes, I noticed that.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You guys would always genuinely watch it, and I feel
so honored that you guys could watch me for that long. Wow,
you guys can tolerate me for that long I love you?
Why he's just not that into you? Or how do
we know the signs that a guy just isn't really
that into us?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I speak to so many of you guys on the daily,
and I get it. By no means am I judging
anyone for.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Any situation, because we've all been there. And how do
you become wise? You have to make mistakes to become wise.
If you know better, you should do better. The moment
that you implement the things that you know, you become
a wiser individual. So why do you guys always linger
around even though they don't want us?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Why are they lingering around without giving us a commitment?
What's up with that? What does that mean? Let's talk
about all these things in this video.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Are you excited? Take notes? I promise you this is
going to help you. Number one, as a rule of thumb,
why are guys lingering around when they don't want us? Well,
there are a ton of reasons that we're going to
address some of them in this video.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
But number one, I want to say, you're a placeholder.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Sounds insulting because it is, and we've all been a
placeholder at one point in our lives.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
What exactly does that mean? What is a placeholder? Asha?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
A placeholder is like a benchwarmer. Think about it in
terms of sports. Now, I don't know anything about sports
by any means, but we all know what a benchwarmer is.
You're just simply holding the place of someone else until
he actually decides what he wants to do. I've spoken
to some of you and there was like a similar
theme going on where girls were explaining to me that
(03:53):
they were in situations where guys would kind of mess
with them off and on for a couple of years
and kind of give them what they call mixed messages,
and you know, putting them back on the shelf when
they don't want them, picking them back up again when
they do want them. But the interesting thing about those
stories was that in between all of those breaks that
(04:14):
those guys were taking, they were involved in actual relationships
with other women. Make it make sense, I'm confused, I'm not,
But I'm gonna explain to you.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Why I'm not.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
A lot of the times we tend to think that
everything is so complicated.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
When really it's a lot more simpler than we think.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Why Because the right answer is usually the simplest one,
but we just don't want it to be because there's.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Emotions involved, there's feelings involved.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
We want to dissect what this person meant when he
did this, when he.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Said this, when he ghosted, when he did mm mmm.
It's simple. It's a lot more simpler than you think.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I think it's important that we stop making excuses for
the guys that we like, because what happens when you
continue to make excuses for someone you start to become
more accommodating to a death to them.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Well, I know he's really.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Busy and he works, you know a lot of you know,
late nights. He really wants to expand and grow his business.
So I just always make sure that you know I'm
free by nine pm, ten pm, because I know that's
usually the only time that he can speak to me.
The truth is, Angels, that the mixed messages are not
mixed messages.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
It's just as simple as he's just not that into you.
Just hearing that right now.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
If you're going to be super sensitive, you know how
I am on this channel. If you were new here,
I'm all about tough love, true transformation. Why, because you
can't coddle people into change. Maybe some, but we express
love the way that we want to receive it. And
I'm the type of person where I need the cold,
tart truth. I need tough love because that is how
(05:49):
you change. When you make people comfortable. You know, Let's
say you have a drug addict on your hands. When
they go to rehab, they don't tell them, oh yeah,
just a little bit more coke and you'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
You're kicking and screaming you have this addiction.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
They're not going to coddle you by giving you small
dosages here and there. If you're acting up and they
and they just want to calm you down, That's not
how it works.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
If you really want to change, you're gonna have to
get uncomfortable. It is what it is. So if you
consider yourself to be super.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Sensitive and you are not willing to accept the things
that you may hear, then this is your chance to exit.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Come back when you're ready. Don't get defensive all.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
In the comments, because we on this channel are trying
to grow and expand even if it hurts, We're gonna
do it anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
When you work out, just like me losing this quarantine weight.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Okay, I am putting myself in.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
The gym I box now, okay, watch out.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And it's not easy. It hurts, it's painful. Do I
want to get up and train every single day?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
No?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Not always. But now I love the feeling. Now, I
love knowing that I'm doing something for my body. I
feel stronger.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Even in the pain. Do you understand I'm saying mixed
messages and feelings and the duration of time that you
have been with someone does not mean that they love you. Oh,
we've been together for so long, and I just feel like.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Why would he be around all this time if I
didn't mean anything to him?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And all these things. I don't know. Some things really
are just what they are.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
And that's what's so difficult to really understand. Because we
want to put a label on it. They don't want
to put a label on it. We put significance on
it just because of the duration, when.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
That doesn't mean anything. Sometimes you just are entertainment and
that's all that that is.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Sometimes they care, but they don't care enough. What is
caring If it's not in the way that's nurturing how
you want to feel, then what does it mean?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
It doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
You cannot waste your pretty, waste your youth on guys
who show you that they kind of want you sometimes.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
How is that fair to you? No one wants to
be an option. But in the beginning, what we do
is we compete for the spot. Oh yeah, well, I'll
show him.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
He's going to realize that he wants to be with me,
because why wouldn't he want to be with me? And
then we make that decision in what we perceive as confidence,
And then further along the line, we realize, Okay, I
still haven't gotten the guy. I still am seeing that
he's messing with the other girl, and I am secretly
checking her stories, and I keep seeing that she keeps
(08:26):
posting selfies in his bathroom. But then he's telling me that, oh,
it's not really serious with her. She can't call him
her man. It's just that she keeps coming around and
begging to be with him. He can't define what it is,
but she isn't his girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
What do I always say? Confusion reads deception.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
People that benefit from blurry lines are people that want
to take advantage of you.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
They are going to manipulate you.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
If they're not going to define something, it's because they
don't want to be held accountable. They cannot rise to
the standard. They cannot show up for what it is
that you want. So why is it more fun for
us or worth it to us to keep on pushing
people to kind of give us what it is that
we want, and because they're forced to do it, if
(09:11):
they even do it, they suck because they didn't want
to do it anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
So what do I mean by that?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Usually guys that kind of sort of want you sometimes
want you only sexually. Your feelings already invested in. Your
feelings are already involved, so it's easy to read it
as such, especially when there's certain conversation exchanges like, oh.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
You know, if things are different right now, you know,
if I was just in a different place, like we
would be together.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Honestly, I just wish I met you before, because you know,
when I was in seventh grade, my my ex girlfriend,
she she left me for this other guy in the
classroom next to me, and I never recovered. Okay, but
you're definitely like thirty two. I am a little scared.
(10:03):
You need therapy. Click my better help link. Because this
isn't normal. You're not bouncing back, You're emotionally unavailable from
an incident in seventh grade.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
That's just what I was told? What's happening here? Just
think about this.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
When we like someone and they disappoint us, what do
we do. We try to come up with a million
excuses as to why it happened understandably, so, no matter
how absurd the explanation is, we tell ourselves that to
give ourselves that closure. Okay, you heard that he has
a baby mother. He said that they were broken up.
He said that he lives alone. But you've never been
(10:41):
over his place? You then, because you you know, being
the FBI that you are, being a woman, I don't
care what type of.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Woman you are. We know how to find out things
that we want to figure out. Am I right?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
You find out that he's living with the baby mother.
Let's just say you even confront him about it.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
He says, Oh yeah, I just said I lived alone
because it's basically like that. I mean, we don't like
sleep in the same better or anything. Do you hear
yourself when you speak out loud? Like? Is everything okay
in there? And what do you tell yourself? Oh? Well,
why didn't you just tell me that?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Because I mean, especially if because we're not together, like,
why would I be bothered by that?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Well?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Because he's lying, and nobody wants to date anybody who
is living with their baby mother. That doesn't make sense.
That's called a relationship. Think about it like this, If
you wanted to, he would. And this is what I
find actually quite amazing about men. Men are not as
complicated as we make them out to be. We are
actually way more complex than they are. And that's simply
for the fact that we are very good at fueling
(11:43):
and fabricating things to soothe our ego when we feel
like we are losing our grip on someone, because we
are just.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Naturally good at things like that.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I really don't know how to explain it, but just
like the example that I just gave just now, we
just tell ourselves ever you know anything, that's what we do.
If we like someone, it's over. You can't tell us
anything about that person. And that's how you need to change.
You have to be open to the fact that if
you are presented with new knowledge about someone, no matter
how much you like them, if you know that that's
(12:14):
not going.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
To work for you long term, you have.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
To be stronger than how you feel in that moment
and make a decision cry on your own, but be
by yourself then continuing to deal with that person. If
you know that that individual is involved with another girl
and he's playing the both of you. It's all fun
and games when it's like a competition in the beginning,
and then you realize that you're still here. She's still here,
(12:38):
she's not leaving, You're not leaving. What is happening here?
If his actions are not aligning with his words, he's
not dating you, he's not calling you, he's not.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Being consistent, then you know what's up. So here are
the actual ways, some of them, because there are a
thousand of how to know if a guy isn't into you.
Number one, he's not asking you out. Yes, this is
so obvious, but it's true because think about this. A
lot of the.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Times when we first meet a guy, you know, sometimes
they will do the whole Hey.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Let's go for dinner. Next thing. You know, by third date,
you're at his house.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You never see another place to eat out in the
entire duration of you guys seeing each other again. You
guys went on three dates, the equivalent to seventy two
hours of actually being seen in public, and then you
never see another place outdoors with him ever again.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
If he likes you, He's gonna ask you out. He's
not that busy.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I don't care what you do. I said this in
my last video. I don't care what you do for
a career, especially if you're a man that's in a
position in power. Okay, if you're with an individual like that,
they like knowing Wow. Okay, after my workday is done,
or maybe on my break that I choose to take,
I'm gonna call so and.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So because I just want to hear her voice.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I'm gonna make sure that I set up times I
could see this girl because I want to see her.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
She makes me happy.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
I'm curious about her the same way he did when
he first met you. Before that third date, pay attention
to the number three. I'm telling you it's significant. Hanging
out is not dating. I don't know how it goes,
but I'm especially speaking to the ladies that are over
twenty five.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Okay, hanging out is not dating. What do I mean
by that? Okay? Well, dating means public places.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
It usually involves being seen in the daylights, being seen
by others, and it usually involves some sort of meal
at an establishment.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
It may also include.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Activities pumpkin picking, which sounds really boring, but you understand
what I'm saying haunted house.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Because it's oh my god, it's not October.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You see where my head is at, and anyway, it
involves activities.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Okay, Number two, he's not calling you.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
The amount of messages that I get of one expressing
to me, I even on the consults that I do.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Women that are well in their.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Thirties dating these guys that are texting them like their
pen pals. I'm scared because at first I thought, oh
my god, it's totally like a millennial gen Z sort
of thing, which is so normal for them, especially with
gen Z.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
I'm a millennial. It's scary, which is partially the reason
why I like to date older usually anyway, but clearly
that it doesn't matter anymore because now just boils down.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
To who raised you. You do not step into my
life to be my pen pal.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I can do that with someone else. Everyone likes to talk.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Taking a break from your mundane tasks to speak to
someone that you genuinely really like is easy for a man.
If he's not calling you, he's just not that into
you take it for what it is.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Wouldn't you rather know the truth if.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
His favorite form of communication with you is Instagram.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
That's concerning.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I'm not saying don't speak on Instagram literally at all,
whatever the case is, but important conversations, things that are important.
There's just certain ways to do things. It's like the
unwritten rules. It's like if I was going to go
on a date with someone, I don't want you asking
me here you available anytime this week on Instagram?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
You either call my phone to ask me, or you
can shoot me a text.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Not initially though, when I first meet you, but as
we get more comfortable with each other, that's okay to
shoot me a text whatever. But nonetheless I still do
require both. Do not try to have serious conversations with
me over Instagram.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
And you're a man stop so actions always speak louder
than words. Where is his effort?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
If he can't even call you and he wants to
text you all day, then what is going on here?
What are you guys going to talk about? If you
ever meet how is he even getting to know you?
It's very easy to say a bunch of things and
text good all day long, and you guys have no
interpersonal conversation to feel it out any and vine out
to how you guys are interpersonally. I'm concerned things like
(17:04):
this matter, like people genuinely do not understand how to
carry conversations. This is a problem because people that fall
for these types of things only attract.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
A certain caliber of man. People that just want to
text all day and.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Play games are usually going to be people that want
to be pen pals all day. So if he's not
calling you, he's just not that into you. Number three,
he only wants to see you when he's drunk.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I am triggered. Yeah, this happened to me before full
transparency moment. I was seeing this guy and at first,
I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I didn't take him serious because he was just so young,
not younger than me, but younger than what I normally
would date. So it was just all fun and games
to me. And you know, but he was definitely cute.
So as I'm seeing him and it's just all fun
and games for me, even though it was fun in games,
I don't drink at all, so yes, it is a
little difficult for me to date someone that drinks in excess,
(18:05):
being that I don't even drink at all. And he
kind of tried to play on my lack of knowledge
with drinking and stuff and made it seem like, well,
because I don't drink, I don't understand why he's hungover
or how he feels. And I'm just like, at the
end of the day, you're doing this to yourself. You
showed up to our date hungover. You couldn't even finish
(18:26):
the day with me because you were hungover. He proceeded
to plan another date, but never actually did.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
He showed up to our date with burger king in
his hand. I was literally like, I am not eating that,
and I'm not eating that right now. It's eleven am.
Throw it away.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I don't want it, because clearly he can't tell the
difference between eleven am and two in the morning because
he's still intoxicated and inebriated, so he's trying to bring
me a drunk meal.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
No, sir, take that back. I digress.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
If this guy has to get drunk and inebriated every
time you guys are together, he's just not that into you.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
He just was not that into me. Truth bomb.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Wait, Asia, aren't drunk actions sober thoughts one.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I wouldn't even know, but apparently that's what people say.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
But I don't think so you know why, because what
I'm thinking is that this is symptomatic of.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
A larger issue here.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
The fact that you feel the need to get turned
up and get crazy every single time that we're around
each other means that you just really don't like me,
or it could simply mean that you shouldn't even be
dating me. You don't have the emotional capacity to be
dating me. You're not in a healthy place right now
where you should be with anybody because you think it's
(19:53):
okay to get super drunk almost every day.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I don't understand that.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Are you hiding something, are you running away from something?
Why do you have to be intoxicated all the time
at the end of the day. If you're dating someone
that is drinking and excess and smoking and whether that's weed,
whether that's cigarettes, and it makes you uncomfortable, this person
is checking out of reality.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Happy people don't do certain things.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yes, when people are having fun, they want to celebrate,
they want to have a little drink, whatever the case is.
But you know when it's an issue, When it's making
you uncomfortable, it's an issue. I am very well aware
of the fact that the world drinks. I don't care
that the world drinks. It has no effect on how
I perceive them.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I'm not judging.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
People that drink. I just don't drink just because I
never wanted to. It's it's not that big of a
deal to me. But I do know when someone's trying
to use that against me and make it seem like.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I'm no fun and like I don't know what it's.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Like because like, I've never been drunk before, So what
I know when you're abusing this.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And you're trying to hide it under something else, stop,
I'm not stupid, And that's exactly what it was that
he was doing.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
So if this is happening to you, understand if this
guy's getting blitzed out of oblivion, blitz out of his mind, okay,
every time he's around you, it's because he doesn't want
to be present enjoying your presence. And you have to
read it as is number four, the classic one. He
(21:25):
doesn't want to commit. Love cures commitment phobia. Love cures
commitment phobia. When you're falling in love with someone, it
literally is a chemical imbalance you are not worried about anymore.
I really don't want to be with this person because
all you can think about, is I cannot live without
this person? And yes, when guys find themselves in these
types of situations, sometimes they act all sorts of crazy,
(21:49):
which also just shows their level of instability sometimes because
why are you running away from something that we all
know is going to require vulnerability at some point?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
So are you really ready to ruin this? Stop? Get
it together.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Don't let any guy make you feel ashamed, demanding, needy
for wanting a commitment.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
It's normal to us to want a commitment. What is
he saying? What was that? Stop? You're literally trying to
make me.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I just feel like you're you're doing too much, like
you just wanna you just want to like put a
label on everything, Like I'm I don't really like I like.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
To just be low key.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I like to just, you know, stay to my stop.
What you like to be is low key so that
you can low key lee try to play me and
that's all we're not going to do. Okay, I watch
Asha Christina's channel. We're not gonna do that. I'm a
quality queen. If I see that you are trying to
run away from.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
A commitment, what do you want me to do? Sit here?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Give you my body you might get me pregnant all
these things. Now I'm stuck with you, but not really
with you. Not judging anyone that has been in this circumstance,
but who willingly aims for that is what I'm trying
to say. It doesn't make any sense if he cannot
commit to you, he's just not that into you.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
It shouldn't be that hard, And that's our issue. We
take all these complexities.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
All the years and the duration that we've known someone,
and it's like, well, you have to care about me?
Speaker 1 (23:18):
What do you mean? Like? One, I'm awesome.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Two you just spent the last five years with me
and you don't love me?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
And unfortunately that's how some men operate with women. We
don't take things that far. We don't stick around when
we don't really like a guy like that in any capacity,
But men do because men like to keep women as placeholders.
Because why, I personally believe if men get with who
they can and women get with who they want, right,
(23:49):
guys are not going to be shutting down different opportunities
for sex.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Who are they to do that?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Now they have to startle over again, swingle someone else,
dn like they have to? Why not keep you around
the consequences he's already lived through.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
He's already lived through the fact that.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
You got upset that he ghosted you for a year
and then dms you on Instagram and says that you know,
he wants to finally see where things are going to
be with you. Then when you go sleep with him immediately,
because that's usually the progression, you're like, so, did you
want to I don't really think this is the time
to talk about this right now, because, to be honest,
you know, like I like you, but I just got
(24:26):
out of, like, you know, like that situation.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I just want to make sure that I'm like healed.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Oh okay, thank you for telling me that, because I'm
pretty sure you just told me that you wanted to
be with me. But I guess I got too comfortable
and I thought that it was.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Going to be different this time.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Who was triggered and it never usually is because when
he was with you, he couldn't see how great of
a person you were in those three like three months
is really all that a person really needs to decide, Oh,
I really like this person.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I want to make this person my girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
He didn't see the value in that sticking around longer
is not going to do that. Making more sacrifices for
him is not going to do that. Showing him how
much of a woman you are by moving him into
your apartment is not going to change his mind.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
You were about to be used.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Please trust and believe me when I tell you that
you are about to be used.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Don't let it happen to you. So just know this
has the rule of them.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
If he's not committing to you under any circumstances, he
is just not that into you. And there's nothing that
you can say do differently that's going to change his mind.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
He already made his mind up. We know where he
stands now. Number five, at least I think this is
number five. He ghosts you, Yeah, that's a big indicator
that he's not that into you. I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Like everything was going so well and then he just disappeared.
He told me that he was going on a work trip.
He came back, and we never spoke again. He's been
ignoring my text messages. So what do you do?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
You go send him an angry message? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
You couldn't be man enough to simply tell me that
you weren't interested in this anymore. You had to just
ghost me. But you're still watching my stories on Instagram?
Are you joking?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I get it, And of course we all turn into
a detective when we want to figure out why someone
just ghosted us with no rhyme or reason, because you're angry,
and rightfully so.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
But unfortunately there's no excuse or investigation that will help
you figure out why you were ghosted because this guy
was simply too coward to tell you the truth. And also,
what did I say?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
They don't want to cut off that option, So if
they leave it open ended and they don't say anything,
they're willing to come back around, get a little blowback,
and then get right back under your good graces, but
still not with a commitment, because I personally believe, because
I've never seen any circumstances be different, that if they
played with you once, they'll play with you again. Because
(26:53):
every single guy that I've known that has made that
commitment to a woman, they knew, whether that was instantly
me may even whether that took a couple months of dating,
they knew, Okay, this is the person.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
I want to be with.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
They don't continue to play with someone's feelings for a year,
two years, three years.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Oh it was you all along that I wanted to
view with. Oh my god, you've been read in front
of me this entire time.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I did not even notice how much I love you.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
No, what they love is your convenience.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
They love the benefits, so they could get from you
without having to deal with anything else, and the consequences
are not even that bad. You get upset for a
little bit, so what then you come over and you chill. Yeah,
so if you were being ghosted, clear sign that he
is just not that into you. No answer is an answer,
(27:43):
no matter what you do, no matter what you say,
you cannot force someone to care.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You really can't.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
And all he's gonna do because he has zero emotional
real estate in the game, he's gonna be like this
feels crazy, like she's sending me a long paragraph telling
me I should do this, I should do that, Like
you're not even my girlfriend, Like I literally don't even care.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Like that's how some of these guys think it's messed up.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yes, I know, but that's what they do. You can't
force someone to care about you. So whether you send
that angry message or not, I think it's gonna hurt
your feelings more when you send the message and then they.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Still don't answer. What are you gonna do? Then?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
All right, well, now I'm not to pull up because
what we're not gonna do is ghost me and then
ignore my messages. I'm ready to fight what's going on.
First of all, classy girls don't fight. We sue, but
you have no grounds to sue here. So we just
have to take this l and move on with our lives.
(28:40):
Some people, unfortunately, depending on where we are in our lives.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
They have too much power over.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Us, if that makes sense, and it's a dynamic that
we will just continue to lose ourselves in. I know
we want to force people to understand what they did
that hurt us, but what are you gonna do if
that individual is just not capable of caring or understanding
how it is that you felt. If they were you,
(29:09):
guys wouldn't be in the situation right now. And lastly,
he's in another relationship. If a guy is in another relationship,
he is just not that into you. He lives with
his baby mother but they're separated. He has a girlfriend,
but she sucks.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
She doesn't want to get it on with him. She
neglects him, she doesn't cook, she doesn't clean. Really, he's
only with her for the kids.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
If you cannot freely love, it is not real love.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
If the feelings, the.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Intensity, the passion cannot be reciprocated, it is not love.
So if you're in a position where a guy that's
involved with another individual is telling you that it's so
complicated and all this stop because men don't saying situations.
People don't stay in situations that don't work for them.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
So clearly there's some sort of benefit here.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
If she's not sleeping with you, well great, because I
guess you could just get it for me.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Oh that's the truth. If they're together only for the kids.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Oh so you can't have joint custody, you can't like
this is why. Also it's really complex dating people with children.
I prefer not to, but that's just me. Do whatever
makes you happy. But they always lie on their kids.
Don't shoot the messenger.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
If the feelings cannot be reciprocated, it doesn't mean anything.
But he said that, he I don't care what he said.
People don't say things situations that don't work for them.
How is he that miserable, but he's still there.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Even though divorce may take a long time. Okay, all
these things, you still have to do it. The worst
thing is, especially if you're gonna be with a married individual,
they almost ever really leave the wives anyways, especially if
there's children involved. And then after that, even if you
do get that guy to walk away, a lot of
the times, how you get him is how you lose him.
(31:09):
How can you guarantee all the time, and I'm just
being general here, how can you guarantee that he's not
going to do the same.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Thing with you? So after a while, you're gonna go
through a period.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Of distrust with that person because you're all of a
sudden gonna realize, Okay, I got him away from her,
but now I feel like, what if he does the
same thing he did with me with her? You just
don't know why risk it. We know a couple things already.
If you were in a dynamic with an individual who's involved,
whether that's marriage, whether that's living with someone, whether that's
being in a relationship. Okay, we know one thing about him.
(31:42):
He's okay with being dishonest. He has to be, he
has to lie, he has to stretch the truth. In
order to keep this dynamic going with you, he has
to so he will absolutely lie to you.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
That's it. Well, why would he lie to me?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I mean, that doesn't make any sense because I know
that he's with somebody.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I know that I know everything he's doing, So why
would he lie to me? Stop? No, you stop?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Why wouldn't he lie to you, especially if he's living
with an individual, especially if he everyone knows about him
and his other relationship that is absolutely valid.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
You're the one that's being hidden. Why wouldn't he lie
to you? He has an image to uphold, a family,
all these things, So why would he be one hundred
percent truthful with you? I know you would like to think, well,
because I know everything, he should be honest with me,
But they never are because if they're not honest about
something serious, then they're not going to be honest about
(32:41):
that dynamic. It's just gonna be lies eventually. I'm sorry. Also,
we know another thing about this individual.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
He's okay with cheating, and if he's okay with cheating
with you, he's gonna be okay with cheating on you.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
That's just how it goes. He doesn't respect the relationship.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
He doesn't respect the relationship that he has with that
other individual. Also doesn't respect the relationship that he has
with you, because if he did, he'd say, you know what,
I'm not in love with so and so anymore.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
I am in love with you.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
So I'm going to have to make a decision because
you deserve way more than stolen moments that are saturated
in shame. If things were that bad, he would leave.
Always know that as a rule of them. If things
were that bad.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
He would leave. Big decisions require big actions. There's no
way around it. If you have to wait on him
to be with you to finally make that decision, then
this isn't something that's worth investing in. It's not a
stock worth investing in.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Because at the end of the day, he's going to
keep the comfortability of having both. He gets to maybe
keep his image, he gets to maybe just have both
of you because he could.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Be lying about how bad things are at home.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Anyway, he gets to keep things the way that he
wants to keep them.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Why would he.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Cut it off, Because if it was that bad, he
would leave right.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
So, in conclusion, here's a solution.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
You have no choice other than to raise your standards.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
And actually meet them. Commit to what it is that you.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Genuinely do desire, or else you'll just end up in
a million entanglements. Don't read into situations that are super simple.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
I know we like to think our situation is so complex,
but it's really just very cut and dry.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
It all boils down to whether or not you're done.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
And I understand not many of us are really done
with the situation. We're just not ready yet. But in
the meantime, you're consuming my content.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Good for you. It's going to come one day. Their
day will come where you're like, Okay, I have had enough.
I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I know that I shouldn't have been in a situation anyway,
and I'm preparing for my exit. But don't lie to
yourself and fool yourself into thinking that it's going to change.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
It's going to be different. Making excuses for why he
doesn't want to be with you anymore, because.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
During that time, he's probably gonna be with other people
and probably likes other people in different ways that he's
just simply not capable of giving to you, And.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
That's what hurts, and so you start to question everything.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Well, then why were you contacting me every night for
the past year telling me how much you love spending
time with me and how amazing we are together.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
And that's the thing. We read too much into the
words and not the actions. Have your non negotiables. You
have to write this stuff.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Down that no matter how handsome, hot, cute, tall beard,
no beard, wealthy, charming, or how good they are at sports,
do not let that deter you from your non negotiables.
And what do I mean by non negotiables? I mean
like drinking too much. I mean being respectful of you, smoking,
(35:49):
being emotionally unavailable, texting you all day like he's your
pen pal, never initiating dates, and the list goes on
and on, and actually stick by them.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Commit that to yourself.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I am going to be stronger than how I feel
in this moment right now, okay, because I know a
lot of times we consume a lot of information, we
hear a lot of information, and we.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Don't implement it yet. And I get that because we're
all in different places. And I don't want you guys.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
To feel like, oh my god, because I heard this,
I gotta stop this like right now, because that's not
really ideal And I understand that I can tell even
in the different women that I interact with and that
I speak to, I can tell when they're ready to implement.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
The things that I say.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
But I do commend them for still reaching out and
still wanting to hear the truth, because even that little bit,
even if they're going to go and do the complete
opposite all the things that they know that they shouldn't
do that I've said not to do, I know eventually
that they will get there.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
But you have to also remember that it's not the
time that heals all. It's what you do with the
time that's going to heal everything. So I hope you.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Angels have enjoyed this video. Make sure that your postification
is turned on. Make sure that if you want to
contact me. If you would like a personal video for me,
a phone call from me, please message me on Whizzio.
You don't even have to download an app. It's super easy.
The information will be in the description box below. I
really want to talk to you, help you out with
(37:11):
your situation because a lot of the times things get
drowned out in the comments, in the emails and the dms,
and it's just way easier if you want advice from
me to get in contact with me over there. Do
you not forget that I love you and God loves
you and OC angels in my next video
Hello, my loves, Welcome back to my channel. Everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Welcome to my channel for all my new subscribers, Hello everybody.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
My name is Aisha Castina. Very nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I'm really excited to talk about this topic today. Yes,
but before we jump on into that, you guys should
know that I do receive a ton of dms on
the daily asking me for advice.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I get emails too.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
My email, guys, is for business only, so the best
way to get in contact with me is via Wizzio.
I now am offering a news service where I am
doing live phone calls.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yes, I will personally be calling you, texting you.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
To confirm, make sure you show up, and you can
tell me one on one about your situation.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
So if you don't want the video, then you don't
have to offer that. You can opt for getting a
phone call from me.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
But also I do record the phone call as well
to send to you, just so that you have that
to look back on. Because sometimes when we're in a
situation and we're just hearing about something, we don't always grasp,
you know, and take in everything.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
So it's good to.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Have that as a reference. So that will be in
the description box below. Also, if you were not by now,
make sure that you were following me on Instagram. Okay,
that'll be over here. And also do not forget to
subscribe to this channel. We have a goal here of
two hundred k. Okay, we are trying to expand and
grow the A team, so I really want you guys
to do.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Part of that.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
In my journey of what we hit two hundred k,
I think I should do something special for two hundred k.
Maybe a giveaway, maybe like a little sleepover together, like
via live or something.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
You guys give me ideas in the comments section below,
but let's dive.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Right into this. Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I'm actually really excited to talk about this topic and
I feel like I have a lot to say. I
feel like I have been having a lot to say,
which always is a good thing. You guys, by the way,
respond very well to long videos of mine. Even since
the beginning of time of my channel, when I used
to upload videos that were literally like forty.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Minutes fifty minutes, I noticed that.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You guys would always genuinely watch it, and I feel
so honored that you guys could watch me for that long. Wow,
you guys can tolerate me for that long I love you?
Why he's just not that into you? Or how do
we know the signs that a guy just isn't really
that into us?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I speak to so many of you guys on the daily,
and I get it. By no means am I judging
anyone for.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Any situation, because we've all been there. And how do
you become wise? You have to make mistakes to become wise.
If you know better, you should do better. The moment
that you implement the things that you know, you become
a wiser individual. So why do you guys always linger
around even though they don't want us?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Why are they lingering around without giving us a commitment?
What's up with that? What does that mean? Let's talk
about all these things in this video.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Are you excited? Take notes? I promise you this is
going to help you. Number one, as a rule of thumb,
why are guys lingering around when they don't want us? Well,
there are a ton of reasons that we're going to
address some of them in this video.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
But number one, I want to say, you're a placeholder.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Sounds insulting because it is, and we've all been a
placeholder at one point in our lives.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
What exactly does that mean? What is a placeholder? Asha?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
A placeholder is like a benchwarmer. Think about it in
terms of sports. Now, I don't know anything about sports
by any means, but we all know what a benchwarmer is.
You're just simply holding the place of someone else until
he actually decides what he wants to do. I've spoken
to some of you and there was like a similar
theme going on where girls were explaining to me that
(03:53):
they were in situations where guys would kind of mess
with them off and on for a couple of years
and kind of give them what they call mixed messages,
and you know, putting them back on the shelf when
they don't want them, picking them back up again when
they do want them. But the interesting thing about those
stories was that in between all of those breaks that
(04:14):
those guys were taking, they were involved in actual relationships
with other women. Make it make sense, I'm confused, I'm not,
But I'm gonna explain to you.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Why I'm not.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
A lot of the times we tend to think that
everything is so complicated.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
When really it's a lot more simpler than we think.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Why Because the right answer is usually the simplest one,
but we just don't want it to be because there's.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Emotions involved, there's feelings involved.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
We want to dissect what this person meant when he
did this, when he.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Said this, when he ghosted, when he did mm mmm.
It's simple. It's a lot more simpler than you think.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I think it's important that we stop making excuses for
the guys that we like, because what happens when you
continue to make excuses for someone you start to become
more accommodating to a death to them.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Well, I know he's really.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Busy and he works, you know a lot of you know,
late nights. He really wants to expand and grow his business.
So I just always make sure that you know I'm
free by nine pm, ten pm, because I know that's
usually the only time that he can speak to me.
The truth is, Angels, that the mixed messages are not
mixed messages.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
It's just as simple as he's just not that into you.
Just hearing that right now.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
If you're going to be super sensitive, you know how
I am on this channel. If you were new here,
I'm all about tough love, true transformation. Why, because you
can't coddle people into change. Maybe some, but we express
love the way that we want to receive it. And
I'm the type of person where I need the cold,
tart truth. I need tough love because that is how
(05:49):
you change. When you make people comfortable. You know, Let's
say you have a drug addict on your hands. When
they go to rehab, they don't tell them, oh yeah,
just a little bit more coke and you'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
You're kicking and screaming you have this addiction.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
They're not going to coddle you by giving you small
dosages here and there. If you're acting up and they
and they just want to calm you down, That's not
how it works.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
If you really want to change, you're gonna have to
get uncomfortable. It is what it is. So if you
consider yourself to be super.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Sensitive and you are not willing to accept the things
that you may hear, then this is your chance to exit.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Come back when you're ready. Don't get defensive all.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
In the comments, because we on this channel are trying
to grow and expand even if it hurts, We're gonna
do it anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
When you work out, just like me losing this quarantine weight.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Okay, I am putting myself in.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
The gym I box now, okay, watch out.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And it's not easy. It hurts, it's painful. Do I
want to get up and train every single day?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
No?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Not always. But now I love the feeling. Now, I
love knowing that I'm doing something for my body. I
feel stronger.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Even in the pain. Do you understand I'm saying mixed
messages and feelings and the duration of time that you
have been with someone does not mean that they love you. Oh,
we've been together for so long, and I just feel like.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Why would he be around all this time if I
didn't mean anything to him?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
And all these things. I don't know. Some things really
are just what they are.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
And that's what's so difficult to really understand. Because we
want to put a label on it. They don't want
to put a label on it. We put significance on
it just because of the duration, when.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
That doesn't mean anything. Sometimes you just are entertainment and
that's all that that is.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Sometimes they care, but they don't care enough. What is
caring If it's not in the way that's nurturing how
you want to feel, then what does it mean?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
It doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
You cannot waste your pretty, waste your youth on guys
who show you that they kind of want you sometimes.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
How is that fair to you? No one wants to
be an option. But in the beginning, what we do
is we compete for the spot. Oh yeah, well, I'll
show him.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
He's going to realize that he wants to be with me,
because why wouldn't he want to be with me? And
then we make that decision in what we perceive as confidence,
And then further along the line, we realize, Okay, I
still haven't gotten the guy. I still am seeing that
he's messing with the other girl, and I am secretly
checking her stories, and I keep seeing that she keeps
(08:26):
posting selfies in his bathroom. But then he's telling me that, oh,
it's not really serious with her. She can't call him
her man. It's just that she keeps coming around and
begging to be with him. He can't define what it is,
but she isn't his girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
What do I always say? Confusion reads deception.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
People that benefit from blurry lines are people that want
to take advantage of you.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
They are going to manipulate you.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
If they're not going to define something, it's because they
don't want to be held accountable. They cannot rise to
the standard. They cannot show up for what it is
that you want. So why is it more fun for
us or worth it to us to keep on pushing
people to kind of give us what it is that
we want, and because they're forced to do it, if
(09:11):
they even do it, they suck because they didn't want
to do it anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
So what do I mean by that?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Usually guys that kind of sort of want you sometimes
want you only sexually. Your feelings already invested in. Your
feelings are already involved, so it's easy to read it
as such, especially when there's certain conversation exchanges like, oh.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
You know, if things are different right now, you know,
if I was just in a different place, like we
would be together.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Honestly, I just wish I met you before, because you know,
when I was in seventh grade, my my ex girlfriend,
she she left me for this other guy in the
classroom next to me, and I never recovered. Okay, but
you're definitely like thirty two. I am a little scared.
(10:03):
You need therapy. Click my better help link. Because this
isn't normal. You're not bouncing back, You're emotionally unavailable from
an incident in seventh grade.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
That's just what I was told? What's happening here? Just
think about this.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
When we like someone and they disappoint us, what do
we do. We try to come up with a million
excuses as to why it happened understandably, so, no matter
how absurd the explanation is, we tell ourselves that to
give ourselves that closure. Okay, you heard that he has
a baby mother. He said that they were broken up.
He said that he lives alone. But you've never been
(10:41):
over his place? You then, because you you know, being
the FBI that you are, being a woman, I don't
care what type of.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Woman you are. We know how to find out things
that we want to figure out. Am I right?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
You find out that he's living with the baby mother.
Let's just say you even confront him about it.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
He says, Oh yeah, I just said I lived alone
because it's basically like that. I mean, we don't like
sleep in the same better or anything. Do you hear
yourself when you speak out loud? Like? Is everything okay
in there? And what do you tell yourself? Oh? Well,
why didn't you just tell me that?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Because I mean, especially if because we're not together, like,
why would I be bothered by that?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Well?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Because he's lying, and nobody wants to date anybody who
is living with their baby mother. That doesn't make sense.
That's called a relationship. Think about it like this, If
you wanted to, he would. And this is what I
find actually quite amazing about men. Men are not as
complicated as we make them out to be. We are
actually way more complex than they are. And that's simply
for the fact that we are very good at fueling
(11:43):
and fabricating things to soothe our ego when we feel
like we are losing our grip on someone, because we
are just.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Naturally good at things like that.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I really don't know how to explain it, but just
like the example that I just gave just now, we
just tell ourselves ever you know anything, that's what we do.
If we like someone, it's over. You can't tell us
anything about that person. And that's how you need to change.
You have to be open to the fact that if
you are presented with new knowledge about someone, no matter
how much you like them, if you know that that's
(12:14):
not going.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
To work for you long term, you have.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
To be stronger than how you feel in that moment
and make a decision cry on your own, but be
by yourself then continuing to deal with that person. If
you know that that individual is involved with another girl
and he's playing the both of you. It's all fun
and games when it's like a competition in the beginning,
and then you realize that you're still here. She's still here,
(12:38):
she's not leaving, You're not leaving. What is happening here?
If his actions are not aligning with his words, he's
not dating you, he's not calling you, he's not.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Being consistent, then you know what's up. So here are
the actual ways, some of them, because there are a
thousand of how to know if a guy isn't into you.
Number one, he's not asking you out. Yes, this is
so obvious, but it's true because think about this. A
lot of the.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Times when we first meet a guy, you know, sometimes
they will do the whole Hey.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Let's go for dinner. Next thing. You know, by third date,
you're at his house.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You never see another place to eat out in the
entire duration of you guys seeing each other again. You
guys went on three dates, the equivalent to seventy two
hours of actually being seen in public, and then you
never see another place outdoors with him ever again.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
If he likes you, He's gonna ask you out. He's
not that busy.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I don't care what you do. I said this in
my last video. I don't care what you do for
a career, especially if you're a man that's in a
position in power. Okay, if you're with an individual like that,
they like knowing Wow. Okay, after my workday is done,
or maybe on my break that I choose to take,
I'm gonna call so and.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So because I just want to hear her voice.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I'm gonna make sure that I set up times I
could see this girl because I want to see her.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
She makes me happy.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
I'm curious about her the same way he did when
he first met you. Before that third date, pay attention
to the number three. I'm telling you it's significant. Hanging
out is not dating. I don't know how it goes,
but I'm especially speaking to the ladies that are over
twenty five.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Okay, hanging out is not dating. What do I mean
by that? Okay? Well, dating means public places.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
It usually involves being seen in the daylights, being seen
by others, and it usually involves some sort of meal
at an establishment.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
It may also include.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Activities pumpkin picking, which sounds really boring, but you understand
what I'm saying haunted house.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Because it's oh my god, it's not October.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You see where my head is at, and anyway, it
involves activities.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Okay, Number two, he's not calling you.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
The amount of messages that I get of one expressing
to me, I even on the consults that I do.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Women that are well in their.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Thirties dating these guys that are texting them like their
pen pals. I'm scared because at first I thought, oh
my god, it's totally like a millennial gen Z sort
of thing, which is so normal for them, especially with
gen Z.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
I'm a millennial. It's scary, which is partially the reason
why I like to date older usually anyway, but clearly
that it doesn't matter anymore because now just boils down.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
To who raised you. You do not step into my
life to be my pen pal.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I can do that with someone else. Everyone likes to talk.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Taking a break from your mundane tasks to speak to
someone that you genuinely really like is easy for a man.
If he's not calling you, he's just not that into
you take it for what it is.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Wouldn't you rather know the truth if.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
His favorite form of communication with you is Instagram.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
That's concerning.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I'm not saying don't speak on Instagram literally at all,
whatever the case is, but important conversations, things that are important.
There's just certain ways to do things. It's like the
unwritten rules. It's like if I was going to go
on a date with someone, I don't want you asking
me here you available anytime this week on Instagram?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
You either call my phone to ask me, or you
can shoot me a text.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Not initially though, when I first meet you, but as
we get more comfortable with each other, that's okay to
shoot me a text whatever. But nonetheless I still do
require both. Do not try to have serious conversations with
me over Instagram.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
And you're a man stop so actions always speak louder
than words. Where is his effort?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
If he can't even call you and he wants to
text you all day, then what is going on here?
What are you guys going to talk about? If you
ever meet how is he even getting to know you?
It's very easy to say a bunch of things and
text good all day long, and you guys have no
interpersonal conversation to feel it out any and vine out
to how you guys are interpersonally. I'm concerned things like
(17:04):
this matter, like people genuinely do not understand how to
carry conversations. This is a problem because people that fall
for these types of things only attract.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
A certain caliber of man. People that just want to
text all day and.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Play games are usually going to be people that want
to be pen pals all day. So if he's not
calling you, he's just not that into you. Number three,
he only wants to see you when he's drunk.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I am triggered. Yeah, this happened to me before full
transparency moment. I was seeing this guy and at first,
I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I didn't take him serious because he was just so young,
not younger than me, but younger than what I normally
would date. So it was just all fun and games
to me. And you know, but he was definitely cute.
So as I'm seeing him and it's just all fun
and games for me, even though it was fun in games,
I don't drink at all, so yes, it is a
little difficult for me to date someone that drinks in excess,
(18:05):
being that I don't even drink at all. And he
kind of tried to play on my lack of knowledge
with drinking and stuff and made it seem like, well,
because I don't drink, I don't understand why he's hungover
or how he feels. And I'm just like, at the
end of the day, you're doing this to yourself. You
showed up to our date hungover. You couldn't even finish
(18:26):
the day with me because you were hungover. He proceeded
to plan another date, but never actually did.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
He showed up to our date with burger king in
his hand. I was literally like, I am not eating that,
and I'm not eating that right now. It's eleven am.
Throw it away.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I don't want it, because clearly he can't tell the
difference between eleven am and two in the morning because
he's still intoxicated and inebriated, so he's trying to bring
me a drunk meal.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
No, sir, take that back. I digress.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
If this guy has to get drunk and inebriated every
time you guys are together, he's just not that into you.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
He just was not that into me. Truth bomb.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Wait, Asia, aren't drunk actions sober thoughts one.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I wouldn't even know, but apparently that's what people say.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
But I don't think so you know why, because what
I'm thinking is that this is symptomatic of.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
A larger issue here.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
The fact that you feel the need to get turned
up and get crazy every single time that we're around
each other means that you just really don't like me,
or it could simply mean that you shouldn't even be
dating me. You don't have the emotional capacity to be
dating me. You're not in a healthy place right now
where you should be with anybody because you think it's
(19:53):
okay to get super drunk almost every day.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I don't understand that.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Are you hiding something, are you running away from something?
Why do you have to be intoxicated all the time
at the end of the day. If you're dating someone
that is drinking and excess and smoking and whether that's weed,
whether that's cigarettes, and it makes you uncomfortable, this person
is checking out of reality.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Happy people don't do certain things.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yes, when people are having fun, they want to celebrate,
they want to have a little drink, whatever the case is.
But you know when it's an issue, When it's making
you uncomfortable, it's an issue. I am very well aware
of the fact that the world drinks. I don't care
that the world drinks. It has no effect on how
I perceive them.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I'm not judging.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
People that drink. I just don't drink just because I
never wanted to. It's it's not that big of a
deal to me. But I do know when someone's trying
to use that against me and make it seem like.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I'm no fun and like I don't know what it's.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Like because like, I've never been drunk before, So what
I know when you're abusing this.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And you're trying to hide it under something else, stop,
I'm not stupid, And that's exactly what it was that
he was doing.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
So if this is happening to you, understand if this
guy's getting blitzed out of oblivion, blitz out of his mind, okay,
every time he's around you, it's because he doesn't want
to be present enjoying your presence. And you have to
read it as is number four, the classic one. He
(21:25):
doesn't want to commit. Love cures commitment phobia. Love cures
commitment phobia. When you're falling in love with someone, it
literally is a chemical imbalance you are not worried about anymore.
I really don't want to be with this person because
all you can think about, is I cannot live without
this person? And yes, when guys find themselves in these
types of situations, sometimes they act all sorts of crazy,
(21:49):
which also just shows their level of instability sometimes because
why are you running away from something that we all
know is going to require vulnerability at some point?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
So are you really ready to ruin this? Stop? Get
it together.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Don't let any guy make you feel ashamed, demanding, needy
for wanting a commitment.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
It's normal to us to want a commitment. What is
he saying? What was that? Stop? You're literally trying to
make me.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I just feel like you're you're doing too much, like
you just wanna you just want to like put a
label on everything, Like I'm I don't really like I like.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
To just be low key.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I like to just, you know, stay to my stop.
What you like to be is low key so that
you can low key lee try to play me and
that's all we're not going to do. Okay, I watch
Asha Christina's channel. We're not gonna do that. I'm a
quality queen. If I see that you are trying to
run away from.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
A commitment, what do you want me to do? Sit here?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Give you my body you might get me pregnant all
these things. Now I'm stuck with you, but not really
with you. Not judging anyone that has been in this circumstance,
but who willingly aims for that is what I'm trying
to say. It doesn't make any sense if he cannot
commit to you, he's just not that into you.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
It shouldn't be that hard, And that's our issue. We
take all these complexities.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
All the years and the duration that we've known someone,
and it's like, well, you have to care about me?
Speaker 1 (23:18):
What do you mean? Like? One, I'm awesome.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Two you just spent the last five years with me
and you don't love me?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
And unfortunately that's how some men operate with women. We
don't take things that far. We don't stick around when
we don't really like a guy like that in any capacity,
But men do because men like to keep women as placeholders.
Because why, I personally believe if men get with who
they can and women get with who they want, right,
(23:49):
guys are not going to be shutting down different opportunities
for sex.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Who are they to do that?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Now they have to startle over again, swingle someone else,
dn like they have to? Why not keep you around
the consequences he's already lived through.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
He's already lived through the fact that.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
You got upset that he ghosted you for a year
and then dms you on Instagram and says that you know,
he wants to finally see where things are going to
be with you. Then when you go sleep with him immediately,
because that's usually the progression, you're like, so, did you
want to I don't really think this is the time
to talk about this right now, because, to be honest,
you know, like I like you, but I just got
(24:26):
out of, like, you know, like that situation.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I just want to make sure that I'm like healed.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Oh okay, thank you for telling me that, because I'm
pretty sure you just told me that you wanted to
be with me. But I guess I got too comfortable
and I thought that it was.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Going to be different this time.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Who was triggered and it never usually is because when
he was with you, he couldn't see how great of
a person you were in those three like three months
is really all that a person really needs to decide, Oh,
I really like this person.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I want to make this person my girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
He didn't see the value in that sticking around longer
is not going to do that. Making more sacrifices for
him is not going to do that. Showing him how
much of a woman you are by moving him into
your apartment is not going to change his mind.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
You were about to be used.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Please trust and believe me when I tell you that
you are about to be used.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Don't let it happen to you. So just know this
has the rule of them.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
If he's not committing to you under any circumstances, he
is just not that into you. And there's nothing that
you can say do differently that's going to change his mind.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
He already made his mind up. We know where he
stands now. Number five, at least I think this is
number five. He ghosts you, Yeah, that's a big indicator
that he's not that into you. I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Like everything was going so well and then he just disappeared.
He told me that he was going on a work trip.
He came back, and we never spoke again. He's been
ignoring my text messages. So what do you do?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
You go send him an angry message? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
You couldn't be man enough to simply tell me that
you weren't interested in this anymore. You had to just
ghost me. But you're still watching my stories on Instagram?
Are you joking?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I get it, And of course we all turn into
a detective when we want to figure out why someone
just ghosted us with no rhyme or reason, because you're angry,
and rightfully so.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
But unfortunately there's no excuse or investigation that will help
you figure out why you were ghosted because this guy
was simply too coward to tell you the truth. And also,
what did I say?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
They don't want to cut off that option, So if
they leave it open ended and they don't say anything,
they're willing to come back around, get a little blowback,
and then get right back under your good graces, but
still not with a commitment, because I personally believe, because
I've never seen any circumstances be different, that if they
played with you once, they'll play with you again. Because
(26:53):
every single guy that I've known that has made that
commitment to a woman, they knew, whether that was instantly
me may even whether that took a couple months of dating,
they knew, Okay, this is the person.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
I want to be with.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
They don't continue to play with someone's feelings for a year,
two years, three years.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Oh it was you all along that I wanted to
view with. Oh my god, you've been read in front
of me this entire time.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I did not even notice how much I love you.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
No, what they love is your convenience.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
They love the benefits, so they could get from you
without having to deal with anything else, and the consequences
are not even that bad. You get upset for a
little bit, so what then you come over and you chill. Yeah,
so if you were being ghosted, clear sign that he
is just not that into you. No answer is an answer,
(27:43):
no matter what you do, no matter what you say,
you cannot force someone to care.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You really can't.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
And all he's gonna do because he has zero emotional
real estate in the game, he's gonna be like this
feels crazy, like she's sending me a long paragraph telling
me I should do this, I should do that, Like
you're not even my girlfriend, Like I literally don't even care.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Like that's how some of these guys think it's messed up.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yes, I know, but that's what they do. You can't
force someone to care about you. So whether you send
that angry message or not, I think it's gonna hurt
your feelings more when you send the message and then they.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Still don't answer. What are you gonna do? Then?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
All right, well, now I'm not to pull up because
what we're not gonna do is ghost me and then
ignore my messages. I'm ready to fight what's going on.
First of all, classy girls don't fight. We sue, but
you have no grounds to sue here. So we just
have to take this l and move on with our lives.
(28:40):
Some people, unfortunately, depending on where we are in our lives.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
They have too much power over.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Us, if that makes sense, and it's a dynamic that
we will just continue to lose ourselves in. I know
we want to force people to understand what they did
that hurt us, but what are you gonna do if
that individual is just not capable of caring or understanding
how it is that you felt. If they were you,
(29:09):
guys wouldn't be in the situation right now. And lastly,
he's in another relationship. If a guy is in another relationship,
he is just not that into you. He lives with
his baby mother but they're separated. He has a girlfriend,
but she sucks.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
She doesn't want to get it on with him. She
neglects him, she doesn't cook, she doesn't clean. Really, he's
only with her for the kids.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
If you cannot freely love, it is not real love.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
If the feelings, the.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Intensity, the passion cannot be reciprocated, it is not love.
So if you're in a position where a guy that's
involved with another individual is telling you that it's so
complicated and all this stop because men don't saying situations.
People don't stay in situations that don't work for them.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
So clearly there's some sort of benefit here.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
If she's not sleeping with you, well great, because I
guess you could just get it for me.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Oh that's the truth. If they're together only for the kids.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Oh so you can't have joint custody, you can't like
this is why. Also it's really complex dating people with children.
I prefer not to, but that's just me. Do whatever
makes you happy. But they always lie on their kids.
Don't shoot the messenger.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
If the feelings cannot be reciprocated, it doesn't mean anything.
But he said that, he I don't care what he said.
People don't say things situations that don't work for them.
How is he that miserable, but he's still there.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Even though divorce may take a long time. Okay, all
these things, you still have to do it. The worst
thing is, especially if you're gonna be with a married individual,
they almost ever really leave the wives anyways, especially if
there's children involved. And then after that, even if you
do get that guy to walk away, a lot of
the times, how you get him is how you lose him.
(31:09):
How can you guarantee all the time, and I'm just
being general here, how can you guarantee that he's not
going to do the same.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Thing with you? So after a while, you're gonna go
through a period.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Of distrust with that person because you're all of a
sudden gonna realize, Okay, I got him away from her,
but now I feel like, what if he does the
same thing he did with me with her? You just
don't know why risk it. We know a couple things already.
If you were in a dynamic with an individual who's involved,
whether that's marriage, whether that's living with someone, whether that's
being in a relationship. Okay, we know one thing about him.
(31:42):
He's okay with being dishonest. He has to be, he
has to lie, he has to stretch the truth. In
order to keep this dynamic going with you, he has
to so he will absolutely lie to you.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
That's it. Well, why would he lie to me?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I mean, that doesn't make any sense because I know
that he's with somebody.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I know that I know everything he's doing, So why
would he lie to me? Stop? No, you stop?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Why wouldn't he lie to you, especially if he's living
with an individual, especially if he everyone knows about him
and his other relationship that is absolutely valid.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
You're the one that's being hidden. Why wouldn't he lie
to you? He has an image to uphold, a family,
all these things, So why would he be one hundred
percent truthful with you? I know you would like to think, well,
because I know everything, he should be honest with me,
But they never are because if they're not honest about
something serious, then they're not going to be honest about
(32:41):
that dynamic. It's just gonna be lies eventually. I'm sorry. Also,
we know another thing about this individual.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
He's okay with cheating, and if he's okay with cheating
with you, he's gonna be okay with cheating on you.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
That's just how it goes. He doesn't respect the relationship.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
He doesn't respect the relationship that he has with that
other individual. Also doesn't respect the relationship that he has
with you, because if he did, he'd say, you know what,
I'm not in love with so and so anymore.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
I am in love with you.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
So I'm going to have to make a decision because
you deserve way more than stolen moments that are saturated
in shame. If things were that bad, he would leave.
Always know that as a rule of them. If things
were that bad.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
He would leave. Big decisions require big actions. There's no
way around it. If you have to wait on him
to be with you to finally make that decision, then
this isn't something that's worth investing in. It's not a
stock worth investing in.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Because at the end of the day, he's going to
keep the comfortability of having both. He gets to maybe
keep his image, he gets to maybe just have both
of you because he could.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Be lying about how bad things are at home.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Anyway, he gets to keep things the way that he
wants to keep them.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Why would he.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Cut it off, Because if it was that bad, he
would leave right.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
So, in conclusion, here's a solution.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
You have no choice other than to raise your standards.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
And actually meet them. Commit to what it is that you.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Genuinely do desire, or else you'll just end up in
a million entanglements. Don't read into situations that are super simple.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
I know we like to think our situation is so complex,
but it's really just very cut and dry.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
It all boils down to whether or not you're done.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
And I understand not many of us are really done
with the situation. We're just not ready yet. But in
the meantime, you're consuming my content.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Good for you. It's going to come one day. Their
day will come where you're like, Okay, I have had enough.
I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I know that I shouldn't have been in a situation anyway,
and I'm preparing for my exit. But don't lie to
yourself and fool yourself into thinking that it's going to change.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
It's going to be different. Making excuses for why he
doesn't want to be with you anymore, because.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
During that time, he's probably gonna be with other people
and probably likes other people in different ways that he's
just simply not capable of giving to you, And.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
That's what hurts, and so you start to question everything.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Well, then why were you contacting me every night for
the past year telling me how much you love spending
time with me and how amazing we are together.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
And that's the thing. We read too much into the
words and not the actions. Have your non negotiables. You
have to write this stuff.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Down that no matter how handsome, hot, cute, tall beard,
no beard, wealthy, charming, or how good they are at sports,
do not let that deter you from your non negotiables.
And what do I mean by non negotiables? I mean
like drinking too much. I mean being respectful of you, smoking,
(35:49):
being emotionally unavailable, texting you all day like he's your
pen pal, never initiating dates, and the list goes on
and on, and actually stick by them.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Commit that to yourself.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I am going to be stronger than how I feel
in this moment right now, okay, because I know a
lot of times we consume a lot of information, we
hear a lot of information, and we.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Don't implement it yet. And I get that because we're
all in different places. And I don't want you guys.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
To feel like, oh my god, because I heard this,
I gotta stop this like right now, because that's not
really ideal And I understand that I can tell even
in the different women that I interact with and that
I speak to, I can tell when they're ready to implement.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
The things that I say.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
But I do commend them for still reaching out and
still wanting to hear the truth, because even that little bit,
even if they're going to go and do the complete
opposite all the things that they know that they shouldn't
do that I've said not to do, I know eventually
that they will get there.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
But you have to also remember that it's not the
time that heals all. It's what you do with the
time that's going to heal everything. So I hope you.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Angels have enjoyed this video. Make sure that your postification
is turned on. Make sure that if you want to
contact me. If you would like a personal video for me,
a phone call from me, please message me on Whizzio.
You don't even have to download an app. It's super easy.
The information will be in the description box below. I
really want to talk to you, help you out with
(37:11):
your situation because a lot of the times things get
drowned out in the comments, in the emails and the dms,
and it's just way easier if you want advice from
me to get in contact with me over there. Do
you not forget that I love you and God loves
you and OC angels in my next video
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