August 15, 2025 • 26 mins
***The Asha Christina Tapes***
Hi ANGELS!!!!
I’m BACK again with a NEW episode. In this episode I talk about manipulative men and identifying how to spot one and how to avoid them as well. I hope that you all enjoy this video, let me know what other kinds of videos you guys would like to see in the comment section below!!!!
Thumbs up for NEW amazing content!!!! 👸🏽
*PLEASE SUBSCRIBE & CLICK THE 🔔 FOR NOTIFICATIONS EVERY TIME I POST! :)
Hi ANGELS!!!!
I’m BACK again with a NEW episode. In this episode I talk about manipulative men and identifying how to spot one and how to avoid them as well. I hope that you all enjoy this video, let me know what other kinds of videos you guys would like to see in the comment section below!!!!
Thumbs up for NEW amazing content!!!! 👸🏽
*PLEASE SUBSCRIBE & CLICK THE 🔔 FOR NOTIFICATIONS EVERY TIME I POST! :)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're so insecure and you always do this, honey. I'm
always doing this because you're always being an idiot. How
about that? Hi, angels, Welcome to my channel. Welcome back
(00:23):
to my channel for all my returning subscribers. Yeah, new backdrop.
Are we liking it? Are we feeling it? New hair?
How are we feeling about that situation? Just new, new
new honey. Okay, I feel like a total YouTuber now
because I have like my blurred background and I got
my new camera, which if you bomb me on Instagram,
(00:44):
which you totally should, it'll be right here. You would
know that I did purchase a new camera. This is
a Sony X sixty four hundred. Absolutely in love with it. So,
as you guys see from this title, we are going
to talk about manipulative men. So I did do some
research on this topic. I will link the websites that
(01:06):
I got my research from, and additionally, the tips that
I will be giving and just a lot of the
things that I will be discussing can honestly pertain to
any sort of individual, but of course, for the sake
of this video, I'm going to relate it to men
and relationships also. Before we dive right in do not
(01:27):
forget to subscribe to this channel. We have a goal
of one hundred K, and we are so close. I've
been like literally going crazy trying to figure out my
merch stuff, and I know that I'm on such a
tight time constraint and at the same time, I really
want to produce really good quality for you guys. So
all that stuff is still in the works. With that
(01:48):
being said, let's get into this video. So let's start
out with the definition of manipulation. So manipulation is, according
to Google, skillfully handling or controlling or using something or someone.
The person knows how to twist words, you know, twist
your emotions, alter your emotions, and manage the situation to
(02:13):
get their desired outcome. So I'm sure that there are
plenty of people in life who have experienced people like this.
It may not have been in a relationship, but you've
experienced someone that was like this. So it's important to
identify the targets. What type of people attract manipulative people.
The types of people that manipultive men sort of target
(02:36):
or prey are low self esteem, sallies, no boundaries, beca
pick me patties, and desperate deborahs. What are ways that
you can be manipulated? How do you know if you're
being manipulated? Well, for one, if you feel like you
are constantly being criticized and your partner constantly makes you
(02:57):
feel inadequate, you are being manipulated. If you get into
an argument and he's giving you the silent treatment, you
are being manipulated. What happens when someone gives you the
silent treatment, You go stir crazy. You start thinking of
every different scenario, and you start making assumptions because there's
no discussion, there's no dialogue that is happening that can
(03:22):
reassure or bring clarity to your thoughts. That is actually
a huge, huge, huge form of manipulation, the silent treatment.
And guys really do this a lot, even when it's
something as simple as you know, ghosting you. That's a
form of manipulation sometimes because it sort of trains you
(03:42):
to not get you see hearing from him certain times.
You always having to reach out to see how he's
doing and check in with him to see if he
remembers the date that he's set for you. Manipulation using
their you know, profession or their education to delay you,
you know, finding out the truth or making you feel
(04:05):
like they are always the one that is right. What
do I mean by this? So, let's say you get
into an argument with someone, and let's say, for instance,
you're dating a lawyer. Lawyers are the best liars, even
though I love them. I'm a lawyer, I've been a
lawyer for X amount of years, and I know what
I'm talking about. And you know what, Typically people that
(04:25):
do what you just did are not to be trusted.
And XX next, they sort of use their you know,
title to reign over you and make it seem like
they're the ones that's right. And essentially what happens is
you cower down and you sort of silently agree to
(04:45):
what it is that they're saying, because well, they probably
do know what they're talking about, because that is what
they do, and they do know when people lie, and
they do no body language and XX next, I don't
think so manipulation demonizing your reactions, Oh oh yeah, major one.
(05:07):
Just saying why, because here's why. Anytime someone that's manipulating
you doesn't want you to express yourself or wants to
control the situation, because that's what they want to do,
They're going to make you feel like you're the bad
one for reacting the way that you did to whatever
(05:29):
the situation was. Okay, they're gonna flip the script on
you because you don't agree with their inappropriate actions. What
do I mean by that? Hey, babe? I was just
wondering why you, you know, like this girl's picture on Instagram.
I kind of thought that we agreed that kind of
doing the social media stuff is not something that we
(05:52):
were going to do, because it kind of makes me
feel a little like embarrassed that my boyfriend is liking
girls photos and commenting saying I'd love to tap that
on Instagram. It just makes me feel like a little insecure,
and it just embarrasses me because you are my boyfriend,
and here he goes you are so insecure, like it's
(06:14):
just Instagram. I can't believe that you're seriously talking to
me about a comment I wrote to a girl. First
of all, I don't even know her. See, it'll be
one thing if I actually knew her. I don't even
know her, and she looks nice. Look she has mad
guys commenting on her photos, like why do you care? Like,
obviously I'm with you, I'm your boyfriend, demonizing you making
(06:37):
you feel like the way that you feel is not
accounted for the way you feel is invalidated because well,
he doesn't know that girl, and who's to say that
he's not trying to get to know that girl? Hello? Right, pity?
Oh me jor key pity. Yes. One of the greatest
(07:02):
forms of manipulation is using pity, because getting pity out
of anyone essentially is going to guilt trip people, so
they feel bad for you, and they're more likely to
do what you say and hear you out and let
whatever nonsense you want slip right on by, because well,
(07:25):
they feel bad for you. What do I mean by that?
I just kind of felt like when we were at
you know, the get together, that you weren't really hanging
out with me at all. You were just kind of
like doing your own thing, and like, I don't know
everybody there, and I kind of felt a little alone.
And I understand that you know everybody, but I just
didn't really feel included. Babe. I'm really sorry that you
(07:48):
know you didn't feel included, But what do you expect
me to do? Like these are all the people that like,
I grew up around, and like, I'm sorry that I
wasn't holding your hand the entire time, like I did
introduce you to some peace people like like you know,
I wouldn't do that to you, Like you know, I'm
not like that. It's just that I got caught up
like like I'm sorry. Like plus, I've seen like one
(08:09):
of my homegirls from high school and I don't know,
like we just started talking like like come on, like
if you like, come on, like if you really know me,
like you know, like I wouldn't do something like that,
like come on, like I'm not like that, like kind
of playing on your emotions so that you're so that
you think they're hoping that you're gonna think, Okay, well
(08:32):
I do know him. I mean I don't think anyone
normally would kind of invite me somewhere and then literally
drop me off and not even associate with me at
all and leave me alone. So I kind of feel
bad now for kind of yelling at him, because I
guess it does get overwhelming when you're hanging out with
like a ton of people you haven't seen in a
(08:52):
long time and you just literally leave me to no sweetie,
If if you're bothered by the fact that he left
you alone, I'm pretty much guaranteeing that he left you
alone for so long that it became uncomfortable. Obviously, we're
all adults here. It's not a big deal. If he's
going to leave you alone for a couple minutes, maybe
(09:13):
you know, to go say hi to someone, but he
should be introducing you to them. You guys are in
a relationship, and the reason why you're feeling the way
that you're feeling is because something felt wrong. So what
actually ties into that is also playing ignorant, Okay, minimizing
their actions so that you stick around. Nothing they ever
(09:34):
do is a big deal. But let you do it,
Let you do it. I can't believe you would do
something like that. What do you mean? You do done
things all the time. You can dish it out, but
you can't take it back. Okay. People that always want
to downplay what it is that they're doing so that
(09:57):
you kind of feel stupid and you kind of I
feel like you're overreacting on what the offense was. You
know what do I mean by that? This is a scenario.
Let's say you were going to surprise him and leave
something cute, like in his mailbox or whatever the case is.
You drive by his house, you see another car parked
in the driveway. Hold on, skirt, skirt, what's happening here?
(10:23):
You are just in your head thinking there's now like,
there's no way, like that has to be one of his,
like guy friend's cars. So so you drive by his
house and you see a car parked in the driveway.
You were gonna do a little you know, surprise, Hi, babe,
how are you? I'm here? Like, what's up? And you
get out the car because you don't know whose car
(10:45):
this is and this is your man's house. What's good?
And you knock on the door, knock, knock, knock. Who's there?
And he wants to open the door halfway talking about
what are you doing here? Like what am I doing here?
Checking in? Are you well? Just seeing how you're doing.
(11:07):
I noticed was an extra car and then your driveway
and it's not mine? So why are you not letting
me in? Oh? It's just one of my one of
my homegirls from high school, Like we haven't talked in
a long time, and like she just wanted to stop
by and like, you know, and like just like catch up.
(11:27):
So why is your friend in your house alone? You
didn't think to kind of mention that to me, Like,
I've never seen this girl in my life, never knew
this was one of your homegirls. This is all new
news to me, Like why am I just finding out
about this? Yo? Yo, calm down, Like you're just like
right now, you're just being like a little extra, like
(11:49):
we're literally just friends, Like she just stopped by like
to say hi, Like I didn't even think to mention
anything to you, because it's not even like that, oh right,
because if it was like that, you would just really
tell me I get it. No, he's literally playing ignorant
because he wants you to feel like me, I would
be this bold, cheating on you in broad daylight when
(12:12):
I know you can come and visit my house. Yes,
I actually do think that you would do something like that.
You idiots, Okay, because guys do thinks all the time,
what is the best way to hide something in plain eyesight?
That is the best way to hide something because it's
so unfathomable. It's like there's no way that could be happening.
(12:35):
And that's how guys get you because they do bold
and brazen things and then they convince you or they
unconvince you that what you saw wasn't true, and what
you saw couldn't be what you possibly think it is,
because why would he do anything like that. He would
(12:59):
have to be a real idiot to do something like
that to you. No, you're just sorry that you got caught. Okay,
he wants to minimize his actions and play ignorant like
he has no idea what this could be. You're tripping.
They're just friends, yes, because let one of my guy
(13:21):
friends come over and you drive by my house and
I'm not letting you in my house because one of
my guy friends is inside, and the conversation we're having
is just so important that you can't be a part
of it. Stop. Let's talk about making rude or let's say,
mean remarks and disguising it in the name of humor.
(13:45):
So this is really important. Why because it sort of
stores in your subconscious and whenever you guys are in
an argument, or let's say you're in a situation where
you feel like intimidated, you're someone that's easily intimidated by
other beautiful girls, whatever the situation may be, what he
(14:07):
says now becomes your inner voice. So now the joke
he made about how big your nose is you're thinking
about that because he's talking to the waitress and it
seems like he's flirting with her, and she has a
nose that you actually like. Or he always makes fun
of your bottom crooked tooth and you're very self conscious
about that, and you know that girl over there has,
(14:28):
you know, straight teeth. You know, it's very important that
you pay attention to things like that in relationships and
in friendships, because there is always some sort of truth
to those little sly remarks. There's always some sort of
underlying truth where someone is constantly attacking your physical appearance
(14:52):
or playing on your weaknesses because they know that it's
going to get to you inevitably, but to remove any
responsibility or accountability for what they say, they make it
seem like it's a joke. No manipulation. Another way you
know that you're being manipulated is let's say that something
(15:14):
happened and you kind of are bracing yourself to bring
it up, and your boyfriend is acting unapproachable. So now
you on top of feeling nervous about bringing up whatever
it is that you want to mention, are you feel
uncomfortable now because he's acting just weird and distant, and
(15:37):
you don't know if it's a good time because you
don't want him to be upset at you for what
he offended you by, and you just don't know how
to approach the situation or if you even should at
this point, because well, he's already acting upset. Oh, manipulation,
Because here's why. If somebody is already acting unapproachable when
(16:02):
they know exactly what it is that took place that
offended you, the easiest way to get you off their
back and to kind of roll over that situation and
ignore it is to make it seem like you can't
say anything at all. Now, I'm sure this happens to
a lot of us right. Think about a situation, ladies,
(16:22):
where you have been talking to a guy and something
has offended you, but there's like this sort of unspoken
energy where he sort of makes you feel like you
can't bring up exactly what it is that you want
to say, because if you do, you'll be crazy. If
you do, you'll be annoying. If you do, you'll be insecure.
(16:42):
If you do, they'll stop talking to you, they'll give
you the silent treatment. Those are manipulation tactics. If you
don't feel comfortable enough to have dialogue and be able
to express yourself and how you feel okay with someone
that you are with, then we have a problem. And
(17:03):
it's not in Houston. And of course, lastly, honestly, last
but not even lease lying and gaslighting and these really
essentially go hand in hand. What gaslighting does is it
makes you sort of go, you know, stir crazy. Something
will happen, a situation will occur, and this guy will
(17:25):
literally try to tell you that you're overreacting or it
wasn't what you thought it was. And you're so insecure
and you always do this, Honey, I'm always doing this
because you're always being an idiot. How about that? How
about it? I'm just saying because this is where things
(17:47):
get dangerous, okay, where you ignore the things and you
let someone dictate to you how to feel about how
they offended you. How does that work? What is happening here?
Stop understand this. Manipulators do these things because they want
(18:09):
you to doubt yourself. They want to make it easy
for them to manipulate and alter your perception, your intuition
of any event that occurs this way, anything they say
you will believe, even against your own self. They are
(18:30):
single handedly isolating you from yourself, trusting you and betraying
yourself essentially so that they can fill in every gap,
every crevice, so that you won't ever feel comfortable questioning
anything that they do, and you will just sit in
your head, right, because that's what all people manipulative situations do.
(18:52):
You sit in your head and you go back and
forth between what happened versus what you think happened, versus
what really happened versus what he said happened, and whoa
next thing? You know, you are just frazzled and you
don't know what to believe. You can no longer differentiate
the truth and respect your feelings versus what this person
(19:16):
is saying ouch And essentially, by them manipulating your mind,
it enables them to stay the same. They do not
need to change their behavior. They don't have to take
responsibility for anything you get offended by. And because you
believe their opinions and their thoughts over anyone else, you
(19:38):
never trust yourself, nor do you reach out for other
people's opinions, because well, why would you need it if
you're always wrong and he's always right. You have to
understand your basic rights Okay, you have the right to
be treated with respect. You have to first of all,
identify that you are capable of being treated with respect.
(20:03):
You deserve to be treated with respect. You have the
right to disagree and say no without feeling guilty for that.
You have the right to express your feelings without walking
on eggshells. So you have to ask yourself in your relationship,
am I being respected? Does this relationship make me feel good?
(20:26):
Do I feel like I can express myself freely without
feeling like I have to really be meticulous and alter
how I'm bringing this offense to his knowledge because I
don't know what's going to happen. I don't know how
he's going to react. Do I feel like there is reciprocity?
Am I giving? That's what this means, Am I giving?
(20:48):
And getting equally is their reciprocity. And you know a
lot of the times, you know, even in my consults,
I see a lot of girls, you know, expressed to me.
I always attract relationships like this where guys are always
taking advantage of me and I want to do better.
And it's just like the way that they speak of
(21:10):
themselves is just so sorry, Like they're just so sorry
and I could tell that in how they speak that
they have been just so emotionally, you know, destroyed and
just beaten down to where they speak with such little confidence,
that their self talk to themselves is so negative, and
(21:31):
they accept and tolerate so much nonsense because partially they
believe that, well, that's the best that I can do.
When you accept someone that manipulates you in all the
areas that I've mentioned, it boils down to the psychology
of you feeling hungry for attention and also adoration because
(21:55):
you may have not received it growing up, and this
person that you're with makes you feel seen. Right, We
like to be around people that make us feel like
we can be our true, authentic selves, no matter how
weird or quirky that may be. When a person lets
us be whoever we are and we don't feel like
we have to hide behind any sort of mask, or
(22:17):
they are accepting of a version of ourselves that we
don't show to anyone else, then you sort of feel
like you owe them something in return, thank you for
letting me be me, and you feel like you want
to constantly show your gratitude for them sticking around and
(22:39):
accepting you as you are. Despite your reservations, because a
lot of the times you guys don't realize that one
it's a big step that some of you reach out
to me in the beginning because you know that something's wrong.
But also if things were right, you wouldn't be reaching
out to me. I will just probably be just a
(23:01):
form of entertainment for you, which that's fine too. But
a lot of you that reach out to me that
have these issues and these problems. When it comes to
any form of abuse, the line is drawn. You gotta leave,
and it's way easier said than done, of course, but
(23:22):
the only way out is just through. You gotta do
what you gotta do, do what you have to do
so you can do what you want to do. That's
one of my favorite quotes. And if you are tired
of feeling manipulated and less than but you're telling me
that you're so attached to this person and you can't
(23:44):
do better, and you want to leave him, but you can't.
Look at how you're talking to yourself. You're constantly reassuring
yourself of whatever it is that you just said. If
you say you can't, you can't. If you think it's
not going to get better than him it won't, and
that will enable you to continue down the path that
(24:05):
you're on and not take action towards letting him go.
So you avoid manipulative men people by saying no. Okay,
no is your boundary. If something makes you uncomfortable, you
express that. Pay attention to people around you, men around you,
(24:30):
relationships that you're in where you don't feel comfortable to
simply say no, I don't like what you just said.
I don't feel like I need to show how much
I love you by running to the store twelve midnight
and getting you your favorite, you know, cookie mix, because
(24:52):
otherwise I really don't love you. I don't feel like
I should accept the fact that you want to date
so many people while still having me, because well I
just know how you are. But it doesn't mean that
you don't care about me. No, I don't accept that.
(25:12):
And then the ultimatum now becomes either they rise to
the occasion like I always say, or you leave because
they're not willing to change. And you have to understand
when you are in a situation where things will not change,
your only choice is to walk away. You have to
understand that. So, with that being said, thank you so much,
(25:37):
for hanging out with me today. I'm absolutely obsessed with
this background, guys, Like I'm so hyped. Like it's just
like a YouTuber thing where you always kind of want
that blurred background. It just ugh, it just makes you
feel like that. Girls, my beautiful angels, do not forget
that I love you and God loves you, and I
will see you guys in my next video
You're so insecure and you always do this, honey. I'm
always doing this because you're always being an idiot. How
about that? Hi, angels, Welcome to my channel. Welcome back
(00:23):
to my channel for all my returning subscribers. Yeah, new backdrop.
Are we liking it? Are we feeling it? New hair?
How are we feeling about that situation? Just new, new
new honey. Okay, I feel like a total YouTuber now
because I have like my blurred background and I got
my new camera, which if you bomb me on Instagram,
(00:44):
which you totally should, it'll be right here. You would
know that I did purchase a new camera. This is
a Sony X sixty four hundred. Absolutely in love with it. So,
as you guys see from this title, we are going
to talk about manipulative men. So I did do some
research on this topic. I will link the websites that
(01:06):
I got my research from, and additionally, the tips that
I will be giving and just a lot of the
things that I will be discussing can honestly pertain to
any sort of individual, but of course, for the sake
of this video, I'm going to relate it to men
and relationships also. Before we dive right in do not
(01:27):
forget to subscribe to this channel. We have a goal
of one hundred K, and we are so close. I've
been like literally going crazy trying to figure out my
merch stuff, and I know that I'm on such a
tight time constraint and at the same time, I really
want to produce really good quality for you guys. So
all that stuff is still in the works. With that
(01:48):
being said, let's get into this video. So let's start
out with the definition of manipulation. So manipulation is, according
to Google, skillfully handling or controlling or using something or someone.
The person knows how to twist words, you know, twist
your emotions, alter your emotions, and manage the situation to
(02:13):
get their desired outcome. So I'm sure that there are
plenty of people in life who have experienced people like this.
It may not have been in a relationship, but you've
experienced someone that was like this. So it's important to
identify the targets. What type of people attract manipulative people.
The types of people that manipultive men sort of target
(02:36):
or prey are low self esteem, sallies, no boundaries, beca
pick me patties, and desperate deborahs. What are ways that
you can be manipulated? How do you know if you're
being manipulated? Well, for one, if you feel like you
are constantly being criticized and your partner constantly makes you
(02:57):
feel inadequate, you are being manipulated. If you get into
an argument and he's giving you the silent treatment, you
are being manipulated. What happens when someone gives you the
silent treatment, You go stir crazy. You start thinking of
every different scenario, and you start making assumptions because there's
no discussion, there's no dialogue that is happening that can
(03:22):
reassure or bring clarity to your thoughts. That is actually
a huge, huge, huge form of manipulation, the silent treatment.
And guys really do this a lot, even when it's
something as simple as you know, ghosting you. That's a
form of manipulation sometimes because it sort of trains you
(03:42):
to not get you see hearing from him certain times.
You always having to reach out to see how he's
doing and check in with him to see if he
remembers the date that he's set for you. Manipulation using
their you know, profession or their education to delay you,
you know, finding out the truth or making you feel
(04:05):
like they are always the one that is right. What
do I mean by this? So, let's say you get
into an argument with someone, and let's say, for instance,
you're dating a lawyer. Lawyers are the best liars, even
though I love them. I'm a lawyer, I've been a
lawyer for X amount of years, and I know what
I'm talking about. And you know what, Typically people that
(04:25):
do what you just did are not to be trusted.
And XX next, they sort of use their you know,
title to reign over you and make it seem like
they're the ones that's right. And essentially what happens is
you cower down and you sort of silently agree to
(04:45):
what it is that they're saying, because well, they probably
do know what they're talking about, because that is what
they do, and they do know when people lie, and
they do no body language and XX next, I don't
think so manipulation demonizing your reactions, Oh oh yeah, major one.
(05:07):
Just saying why, because here's why. Anytime someone that's manipulating
you doesn't want you to express yourself or wants to
control the situation, because that's what they want to do,
They're going to make you feel like you're the bad
one for reacting the way that you did to whatever
(05:29):
the situation was. Okay, they're gonna flip the script on
you because you don't agree with their inappropriate actions. What
do I mean by that? Hey, babe? I was just
wondering why you, you know, like this girl's picture on Instagram.
I kind of thought that we agreed that kind of
doing the social media stuff is not something that we
(05:52):
were going to do, because it kind of makes me
feel a little like embarrassed that my boyfriend is liking
girls photos and commenting saying I'd love to tap that
on Instagram. It just makes me feel like a little insecure,
and it just embarrasses me because you are my boyfriend,
and here he goes you are so insecure, like it's
(06:14):
just Instagram. I can't believe that you're seriously talking to
me about a comment I wrote to a girl. First
of all, I don't even know her. See, it'll be
one thing if I actually knew her. I don't even
know her, and she looks nice. Look she has mad
guys commenting on her photos, like why do you care? Like,
obviously I'm with you, I'm your boyfriend, demonizing you making
(06:37):
you feel like the way that you feel is not
accounted for the way you feel is invalidated because well,
he doesn't know that girl, and who's to say that
he's not trying to get to know that girl? Hello? Right, pity?
Oh me jor key pity. Yes. One of the greatest
(07:02):
forms of manipulation is using pity, because getting pity out
of anyone essentially is going to guilt trip people, so
they feel bad for you, and they're more likely to
do what you say and hear you out and let
whatever nonsense you want slip right on by, because well,
(07:25):
they feel bad for you. What do I mean by that?
I just kind of felt like when we were at
you know, the get together, that you weren't really hanging
out with me at all. You were just kind of
like doing your own thing, and like, I don't know
everybody there, and I kind of felt a little alone.
And I understand that you know everybody, but I just
didn't really feel included. Babe. I'm really sorry that you
(07:48):
know you didn't feel included, But what do you expect
me to do? Like these are all the people that like,
I grew up around, and like, I'm sorry that I
wasn't holding your hand the entire time, like I did
introduce you to some peace people like like you know,
I wouldn't do that to you, Like you know, I'm
not like that. It's just that I got caught up
like like I'm sorry. Like plus, I've seen like one
(08:09):
of my homegirls from high school and I don't know,
like we just started talking like like come on, like
if you like, come on, like if you really know me,
like you know, like I wouldn't do something like that,
like come on, like I'm not like that, like kind
of playing on your emotions so that you're so that
you think they're hoping that you're gonna think, Okay, well
(08:32):
I do know him. I mean I don't think anyone
normally would kind of invite me somewhere and then literally
drop me off and not even associate with me at
all and leave me alone. So I kind of feel
bad now for kind of yelling at him, because I
guess it does get overwhelming when you're hanging out with
like a ton of people you haven't seen in a
(08:52):
long time and you just literally leave me to no sweetie,
If if you're bothered by the fact that he left
you alone, I'm pretty much guaranteeing that he left you
alone for so long that it became uncomfortable. Obviously, we're
all adults here. It's not a big deal. If he's
going to leave you alone for a couple minutes, maybe
(09:13):
you know, to go say hi to someone, but he
should be introducing you to them. You guys are in
a relationship, and the reason why you're feeling the way
that you're feeling is because something felt wrong. So what
actually ties into that is also playing ignorant, Okay, minimizing
their actions so that you stick around. Nothing they ever
(09:34):
do is a big deal. But let you do it,
Let you do it. I can't believe you would do
something like that. What do you mean? You do done
things all the time. You can dish it out, but
you can't take it back. Okay. People that always want
to downplay what it is that they're doing so that
(09:57):
you kind of feel stupid and you kind of I
feel like you're overreacting on what the offense was. You
know what do I mean by that? This is a scenario.
Let's say you were going to surprise him and leave
something cute, like in his mailbox or whatever the case is.
You drive by his house, you see another car parked
in the driveway. Hold on, skirt, skirt, what's happening here?
(10:23):
You are just in your head thinking there's now like,
there's no way, like that has to be one of his,
like guy friend's cars. So so you drive by his
house and you see a car parked in the driveway.
You were gonna do a little you know, surprise, Hi, babe,
how are you? I'm here? Like, what's up? And you
get out the car because you don't know whose car
(10:45):
this is and this is your man's house. What's good?
And you knock on the door, knock, knock, knock. Who's there?
And he wants to open the door halfway talking about
what are you doing here? Like what am I doing here?
Checking in? Are you well? Just seeing how you're doing.
(11:07):
I noticed was an extra car and then your driveway
and it's not mine? So why are you not letting
me in? Oh? It's just one of my one of
my homegirls from high school, Like we haven't talked in
a long time, and like she just wanted to stop
by and like, you know, and like just like catch up.
(11:27):
So why is your friend in your house alone? You
didn't think to kind of mention that to me, Like,
I've never seen this girl in my life, never knew
this was one of your homegirls. This is all new
news to me, Like why am I just finding out
about this? Yo? Yo, calm down, Like you're just like
right now, you're just being like a little extra, like
(11:49):
we're literally just friends, Like she just stopped by like
to say hi, Like I didn't even think to mention
anything to you, because it's not even like that, oh right,
because if it was like that, you would just really
tell me I get it. No, he's literally playing ignorant
because he wants you to feel like me, I would
be this bold, cheating on you in broad daylight when
(12:12):
I know you can come and visit my house. Yes,
I actually do think that you would do something like that.
You idiots, Okay, because guys do thinks all the time,
what is the best way to hide something in plain eyesight?
That is the best way to hide something because it's
so unfathomable. It's like there's no way that could be happening.
(12:35):
And that's how guys get you because they do bold
and brazen things and then they convince you or they
unconvince you that what you saw wasn't true, and what
you saw couldn't be what you possibly think it is,
because why would he do anything like that. He would
(12:59):
have to be a real idiot to do something like
that to you. No, you're just sorry that you got caught. Okay,
he wants to minimize his actions and play ignorant like
he has no idea what this could be. You're tripping.
They're just friends, yes, because let one of my guy
(13:21):
friends come over and you drive by my house and
I'm not letting you in my house because one of
my guy friends is inside, and the conversation we're having
is just so important that you can't be a part
of it. Stop. Let's talk about making rude or let's say,
mean remarks and disguising it in the name of humor.
(13:45):
So this is really important. Why because it sort of
stores in your subconscious and whenever you guys are in
an argument, or let's say you're in a situation where
you feel like intimidated, you're someone that's easily intimidated by
other beautiful girls, whatever the situation may be, what he
(14:07):
says now becomes your inner voice. So now the joke
he made about how big your nose is you're thinking
about that because he's talking to the waitress and it
seems like he's flirting with her, and she has a
nose that you actually like. Or he always makes fun
of your bottom crooked tooth and you're very self conscious
about that, and you know that girl over there has,
(14:28):
you know, straight teeth. You know, it's very important that
you pay attention to things like that in relationships and
in friendships, because there is always some sort of truth
to those little sly remarks. There's always some sort of
underlying truth where someone is constantly attacking your physical appearance
(14:52):
or playing on your weaknesses because they know that it's
going to get to you inevitably, but to remove any
responsibility or accountability for what they say, they make it
seem like it's a joke. No manipulation. Another way you
know that you're being manipulated is let's say that something
(15:14):
happened and you kind of are bracing yourself to bring
it up, and your boyfriend is acting unapproachable. So now
you on top of feeling nervous about bringing up whatever
it is that you want to mention, are you feel
uncomfortable now because he's acting just weird and distant, and
(15:37):
you don't know if it's a good time because you
don't want him to be upset at you for what
he offended you by, and you just don't know how
to approach the situation or if you even should at
this point, because well, he's already acting upset. Oh, manipulation,
Because here's why. If somebody is already acting unapproachable when
(16:02):
they know exactly what it is that took place that
offended you, the easiest way to get you off their
back and to kind of roll over that situation and
ignore it is to make it seem like you can't
say anything at all. Now, I'm sure this happens to
a lot of us right. Think about a situation, ladies,
(16:22):
where you have been talking to a guy and something
has offended you, but there's like this sort of unspoken
energy where he sort of makes you feel like you
can't bring up exactly what it is that you want
to say, because if you do, you'll be crazy. If
you do, you'll be annoying. If you do, you'll be insecure.
(16:42):
If you do, they'll stop talking to you, they'll give
you the silent treatment. Those are manipulation tactics. If you
don't feel comfortable enough to have dialogue and be able
to express yourself and how you feel okay with someone
that you are with, then we have a problem. And
(17:03):
it's not in Houston. And of course, lastly, honestly, last
but not even lease lying and gaslighting and these really
essentially go hand in hand. What gaslighting does is it
makes you sort of go, you know, stir crazy. Something
will happen, a situation will occur, and this guy will
(17:25):
literally try to tell you that you're overreacting or it
wasn't what you thought it was. And you're so insecure
and you always do this, Honey, I'm always doing this
because you're always being an idiot. How about that? How
about it? I'm just saying because this is where things
(17:47):
get dangerous, okay, where you ignore the things and you
let someone dictate to you how to feel about how
they offended you. How does that work? What is happening here?
Stop understand this. Manipulators do these things because they want
(18:09):
you to doubt yourself. They want to make it easy
for them to manipulate and alter your perception, your intuition
of any event that occurs this way, anything they say
you will believe, even against your own self. They are
(18:30):
single handedly isolating you from yourself, trusting you and betraying
yourself essentially so that they can fill in every gap,
every crevice, so that you won't ever feel comfortable questioning
anything that they do, and you will just sit in
your head, right, because that's what all people manipulative situations do.
(18:52):
You sit in your head and you go back and
forth between what happened versus what you think happened, versus
what really happened versus what he said happened, and whoa
next thing? You know, you are just frazzled and you
don't know what to believe. You can no longer differentiate
the truth and respect your feelings versus what this person
(19:16):
is saying ouch And essentially, by them manipulating your mind,
it enables them to stay the same. They do not
need to change their behavior. They don't have to take
responsibility for anything you get offended by. And because you
believe their opinions and their thoughts over anyone else, you
(19:38):
never trust yourself, nor do you reach out for other
people's opinions, because well, why would you need it if
you're always wrong and he's always right. You have to
understand your basic rights Okay, you have the right to
be treated with respect. You have to first of all,
identify that you are capable of being treated with respect.
(20:03):
You deserve to be treated with respect. You have the
right to disagree and say no without feeling guilty for that.
You have the right to express your feelings without walking
on eggshells. So you have to ask yourself in your relationship,
am I being respected? Does this relationship make me feel good?
(20:26):
Do I feel like I can express myself freely without
feeling like I have to really be meticulous and alter
how I'm bringing this offense to his knowledge because I
don't know what's going to happen. I don't know how
he's going to react. Do I feel like there is reciprocity?
Am I giving? That's what this means, Am I giving?
(20:48):
And getting equally is their reciprocity. And you know a
lot of the times, you know, even in my consults,
I see a lot of girls, you know, expressed to me.
I always attract relationships like this where guys are always
taking advantage of me and I want to do better.
And it's just like the way that they speak of
(21:10):
themselves is just so sorry, Like they're just so sorry
and I could tell that in how they speak that
they have been just so emotionally, you know, destroyed and
just beaten down to where they speak with such little confidence,
that their self talk to themselves is so negative, and
(21:31):
they accept and tolerate so much nonsense because partially they
believe that, well, that's the best that I can do.
When you accept someone that manipulates you in all the
areas that I've mentioned, it boils down to the psychology
of you feeling hungry for attention and also adoration because
(21:55):
you may have not received it growing up, and this
person that you're with makes you feel seen. Right, We
like to be around people that make us feel like
we can be our true, authentic selves, no matter how
weird or quirky that may be. When a person lets
us be whoever we are and we don't feel like
we have to hide behind any sort of mask, or
(22:17):
they are accepting of a version of ourselves that we
don't show to anyone else, then you sort of feel
like you owe them something in return, thank you for
letting me be me, and you feel like you want
to constantly show your gratitude for them sticking around and
(22:39):
accepting you as you are. Despite your reservations, because a
lot of the times you guys don't realize that one
it's a big step that some of you reach out
to me in the beginning because you know that something's wrong.
But also if things were right, you wouldn't be reaching
out to me. I will just probably be just a
(23:01):
form of entertainment for you, which that's fine too. But
a lot of you that reach out to me that
have these issues and these problems. When it comes to
any form of abuse, the line is drawn. You gotta leave,
and it's way easier said than done, of course, but
(23:22):
the only way out is just through. You gotta do
what you gotta do, do what you have to do
so you can do what you want to do. That's
one of my favorite quotes. And if you are tired
of feeling manipulated and less than but you're telling me
that you're so attached to this person and you can't
(23:44):
do better, and you want to leave him, but you can't.
Look at how you're talking to yourself. You're constantly reassuring
yourself of whatever it is that you just said. If
you say you can't, you can't. If you think it's
not going to get better than him it won't, and
that will enable you to continue down the path that
(24:05):
you're on and not take action towards letting him go.
So you avoid manipulative men people by saying no. Okay,
no is your boundary. If something makes you uncomfortable, you
express that. Pay attention to people around you, men around you,
(24:30):
relationships that you're in where you don't feel comfortable to
simply say no, I don't like what you just said.
I don't feel like I need to show how much
I love you by running to the store twelve midnight
and getting you your favorite, you know, cookie mix, because
(24:52):
otherwise I really don't love you. I don't feel like
I should accept the fact that you want to date
so many people while still having me, because well I
just know how you are. But it doesn't mean that
you don't care about me. No, I don't accept that.
(25:12):
And then the ultimatum now becomes either they rise to
the occasion like I always say, or you leave because
they're not willing to change. And you have to understand
when you are in a situation where things will not change,
your only choice is to walk away. You have to
understand that. So, with that being said, thank you so much,
(25:37):
for hanging out with me today. I'm absolutely obsessed with
this background, guys, Like I'm so hyped. Like it's just
like a YouTuber thing where you always kind of want
that blurred background. It just ugh, it just makes you
feel like that. Girls, my beautiful angels, do not forget
that I love you and God loves you, and I
will see you guys in my next video
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