September 18, 2025 • 27 mins
Hi ANGELS!!!!
I’m BACK again with a NEW episode.
I hope that you all enjoy this video, let me know what other kinds of videos you guys would like to see in the comment section below!!!!
I’m BACK again with a NEW episode.
I hope that you all enjoy this video, let me know what other kinds of videos you guys would like to see in the comment section below!!!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hey, angels, welcome back to my channel. Who has missed me? Okay,
hopefully not too much, It's only been two days really
busy weekend. Nonetheless, I'm back again with a brand new
video for you guys. This video, as you can see,
is about stop chasing men. Okay, But before we get
into it, I want you guys to follow me on Instagram.
(00:33):
That will be right here. And also, do not forget
to subscribe. Subscribe subscribe to this channel guys, because our
next goal is going to be a hundred K. We
already had seventy five K. I am so elated. I
cannot believe it. And it just feels so humbling that
you guys continue to support me. And I'm really excited
(00:54):
to continue to grow with you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
As a team.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
The a team, of course, and we all want to
help each other and uplift each other.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
We're sisters, best friends, cousins, whatever you want. We are that.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Also, before we move further, I know you guys are
going to ask me about my hair. I am upbsess
with this hair.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
It is so so so cute on me and it's
very very natural looking. I like the shade of blonde.
I realize I love you know, the Golden Tones, and
this actual unit was inspired by Beyonce. My hairstylist, Marc
Anthony had created this for me and I am in
love with it.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It is so me.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
We are actually doing a contest okay where for all
My New York subscribers exclusively to win a free install
and wig okay, buy my hairstylist. So check the description
box for all the information on that. Again, it is
only exclusive for all My New York subscribers for a
(01:58):
free install and wig by my hairstylist. I believe this
contest ends on Tuesday the thirtieth, so hurry up, guys,
you have a couple days.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
To get on that. It will be really, really amazing
to see who wins.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Let's get right into the video. Stop chasing men. I
know that a lot of us ladies find ourselves in
this position where we don't even realize that we are
chasing the guys that we desire. Guys, if you hear
(02:36):
that in the background, it's literally the rain it's pouring
in New York. I think it's important for us to
take a step back and understand that when we choose
to chase a man, we automatically lose.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
When you chase.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Men, you compromise and you lower your standards because it
is not a natural thing to do. You know, you
devalue yourself and the next thing you know, boom, you
are fighting common sense and falling for any of his
lies and deceit that he's trying to pull over your
eyes because you've already crossed the line as soon as
(03:17):
you started compromising and running after him. So naturally, the
question becomes, how do you know if you are in
fact chasing a man?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Let me help you out. You know you're.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Chasing a man when you have to ask the following questions,
how do I get him back after he ghosted me?
Speaker 2 (03:38):
How do you get him back after he goes? If
a guy ghosts to.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
You, it's simply because he wasn't really that interested and
is talking to someone else. I mean, if anything, let
the trash take out itself. He eliminated himself. Good, Now
you know how to move from here on out. You
clearly know he obviously doesn't care. It's just like cut
and dry. How do I get him, you know, to
want me? I know it's so difficult when dealing.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
With you know, a situation where you feel like you
kind of lost someone and you want to get them back.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
But this is how I perceive things, you know, the
older that I become. It's kind of just like, I'm
not interested in who is not interested in me. I
don't care about who doesn't care about me. I just
don't have the energy. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
But I understand that. At the same time, the.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Younger you are, you have to go through this process
of how do I get the guy back? You know
that ghosted me, and he, you know, took me out
on a bunch of dates, and then all of a
sudden he doesn't want to hang out anymore. And you
always have to initiate the conversation or initiate when you're
gonna see him again.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
And all you guys ever do is hang out at
his place.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I get that, you know, like I always tell you guys,
certain things in life we cannot skip. So once you
make those mistakes and you mature and you learn from them,
you understand the importance of action and not caring for
what doesn't care for you. Because if we essentially really
(05:11):
understood the genuine easiness and flow of a healthy functioning relationship,
I don't think that we would genuinely make the mistakes
that we have. And for some of us, unfortunately that
may not have ever experienced a healthy relationship, you really
have nothing to compare it to besides what you know
(05:33):
or you may know is right in a relationship. But
for me, I know that I have experienced, you know,
a healthy relationship before, and I kind of always compare
it to that that person really loved me. I know
what it feels like to be really loved and really
cared for. I know what it feels like when a
(05:54):
man really wants you, really desires you, really will do
anything for you. So based on my experience of that,
I know how to identify that in other people. You know,
just essentially bending your back and bending your schedule around
this guy.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Chasing him big mistake.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Men can't and won't value what they don't work for
and invest in.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
If you start off easy.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And convenient, they will exploit that, and you will be
taken advantage of. If you're taking ubers to him and
always driving to his house, delivering yourself on a silver
platter to him.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Here I am, He's gonna get used to that. There
is no initiative.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Anymore to go out his way to see you, to
make plans to go to dinner, because now it's all
at his discretion. Understand, we've all been there before, but
we just get so used to the routine and we
tell ourselves, Okay, well, I mean at least he is
hanging out with me, because if he really didn't want
(07:05):
to see me, I mean, he wouldn't have agreed to
even seeing me.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Not true.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Guys are capable of liking us to different degrees because
they are master compartmentalizers.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I always tell you guys this.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
So with that being said, if you just simply say, hey,
are you busy?
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I was wondering what you were doing on Wednesday night?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Because I really wanted to you know, probably get dinner
something like that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
If he has nothing to do.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I mean it's a Wednesday night, more than likely he
feels like he's going to sleep with you.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
He's not going to turn that down. Great.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
He might reply saying something like this, you know, I'm
really busy all day on Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I won't be home till about like ten pm.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But if you wanted to come over after, I mean,
it's up to you. You ken, if you want, then
here you go. Wow, look at him he's so busy,
but he still just wants to see my face. So
he's telling me.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I can come over after ten pm. No, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
What he's doing is he's probably going to go to
dinner at seven thirty okay with another girl, come home
bang you okay, and either you go back home or
you spend the night Monday morning, Boom, you're out before
eight thirty. Great plan, great plan, but to you it
reads is something else. You simply forgot the fact that
(08:33):
you're the one that had to initiate plans. Two, he
didn't even make plans with you. He said he was
busy till ten pm. He's working late that night, he
has a family thing. No, he just doesn't want to
see you, to.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Go out with you. Even worse, hopefully that's not the case.
He doesn't want to spend the money.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
So instead he's like, come over my place at a
time where no knowing, Lee, what is really open at
ten pm for you guys to actually do anything substantial
on a Wednesday. I'm exposing the game because they get
pretty creative, and I want you guys to know what's
(09:16):
going on when you.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Do things like this.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
This is how you find yourself in situationships okay, where
your desire gets ahead of you because you really just
yearn for that affection from that person. And this is
where I start to question the psychology of things, where
it's like, why am I feeling like I want to
(09:42):
see this person so bad? Why do I not feel
like I have more things to do or things that
I could be working on that I want to spend
a lot of my time with this one person.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
And I know secretly.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
But I'm not paying attention to the fact that he
may not even be exclusive with me.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
We haven't even discussed any of that at all.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It just seems like and it feels like because we
have intuition as women, it just feels like if I
continue down this route, it will never really go anywhere.
But I'm hoping that it probably will, so I'm going
to keep on keeping on.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
He took you on what.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Three dates, and now you feel like it's your turn
to really just show him how much you appreciate it,
because he's gone farther than any other guy that you've
dated before.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Now, this is another thing.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
I was talking to one of my friends about this
actually yesterday, where I was telling her be careful of
entering into relationships when you are not at your best,
because yes, you know, we all want to date and
things of that nature, but when you have certain, you know,
holes in areas that need to be filled by you,
(10:52):
you tend to date people that fulfill those types of
voids in yourself. For instance, if you are someone that
is very ambitious, and you know, naturally we want the
best of the best, it's human nature, and you want
to date someone that is successful, but really you feel like, well,
that's because I want to be that, and I'm hoping
(11:14):
that this person could possibly be a crutch in that
it's a dangerous spot to be in because we end
up depending on that person so much that person sort
of becomes our entire happiness that we are not able
to actually do the work on ourselves like we thought
we would or that we thought we would be assisted in.
(11:38):
This is why having your own hobbies, having your own
life is so important, because that way you're not waiting
around for this person to text you back or anything.
You were able to clearly see logically, this person is
not reciprocating the same amount of desire that I am
(12:00):
to him. And remember, especially in the beginning the desires
for men and women are going to be different. Because
a woman can look at a man and say, oh
my gosh, that looks like somebody I would.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Want to marry.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
A guy will look at a woman and say, that
looks like somebody I.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Want to bang.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Do you understand the motivations are different, especially in the beginning.
So you're leading with that sort of mentality and he's
leading with just the banging mentality, and you, guys are
already off on.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
The wrong foot.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Now, what I'm saying is knowing what you know, or
knowing what you know now, it's important to identify that
not let your desire get in the way of your
common sense.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
It's okay to actually desire wanting to get married and
things of that nature.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
But you have to make sure that you're not making
that so obvious because no one likes desperate people.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
No one likes someone that's so obvious what it is
that they want. It's unattractive.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And in addition to that, you don't want to start
to feed yourself lies of trying to put this person
in this category to mold him into what it is
that you desire, because he very well might not fit
another thing in regards to desire. We need to have
self control. And I'm not talking about self control where
(13:21):
you're already over his house and you know, you know
that you will not let him sleep with you because
of anything.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
You will just sleep on the other side of the bed.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Now, self control begins with not even going over his
house putting yourself in that position anyway, because after a while,
it all boils down to science. Science takes over. You're
already attracted to this guy. Men love sleeping with women
all the time. I mean that just goes without saying.
And now you don't want to put yourself in a
(13:52):
position where you have to even.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Pass up on his advances.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Do you understand what I'm saying That that's where the
self control really begins.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So when you give, give, give, and you turn around
and you're just like, why.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Do I feel like this person isn't really liking me back,
it's because you gave more than you received. Men are
not going to just ghost someone that they've invested in emotionally,
financially and spent months, you know, dating.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
They're just not typically going to do that because they
would look dumb.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
They already put in too much work to just and
money to walk away and be like.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
I'm ghosting her. They don't have a reason to.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
But when they've done the bare minimum and God forbid,
it impresses you, and you're meeting them at the finish
line before they get there all the time. Now you've
become predictable, and they know that you're chasing them. They
know that they don't even have to remember to make
plans with you, because you're gonna do it anyway. You're
actually going to remind them that they need to make
(15:03):
plans with you. And then, conveniently, he's never really available
in the day except what once every two weeks, and
he wants to stay local around his house because he
wants to shoot back over just so we can get
with you, all right, And you think, wow, he's despite
(15:25):
his busy schedule, he's just still making time for me.
And I know that he's busy, so I only think
it's there that I, you know, kind of meet him halfway.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
We don't need to, We don't need to.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
If he really wanted you that bad, he would make
sure that he's making plans for you.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
It's just like ladies every single time.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
In the beginning, guys are so consistent every single time,
and more than likely we don't reciprocate.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
That in the beginning as much as they.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Do until we go in that first date, until we
start hanging out with them, and then we realize, hmm,
I actually do.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Like this guy.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
So we start reciprocating and just opening up being as
wanton as possible to really show them, Okay, I like
you back now, and then that's where and when we
fall off the rails, and it's kind of just like,
all right, they did their job already, they chased me already,
and now you're going to.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Chase them for the rest of their relationship. No. I
have said this in a video before. It's just this
cut and dry.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
If a guy wants to see you, he's going to
make time to see you.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
If he's thinking about you, he's going to text you.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
You ever date somebody and you're talking to them and
they are so consistent with speaking to you, and you're
not really paying attention to them, but you do happen
to notice that.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
A whole two days goes by and.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Next you know it, you haven't spoken to them or
they actually haven't spoken to you in a two day timeframe,
and then you just happen to shoot them at text
for once hey, and they respond like a day and
a half later saying sorry, didn't see this before. So
you managed to magically not see the one time I
(17:20):
text you, but every other time before then you were
just on it, whether I was.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Responding or not. He's lying.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
It feels good to be pursued, right, It feels good
to be chased. It feels natural to us to be chased,
or at least it should. So why would you want
to relinquish your power to giving up that dynamic?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
And now you're the one doing the chasing.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
This is going to weak them out very easily by
you understanding that, Hey, does this person really want me
or not? What is this person's intentions? How long is
this person willing to court me, invest in me, do
(18:08):
all these things in effort to actually proving that they
really actually do like me. Like they say, men love
the challenge of conquering something that is new. That's why
they're so consistent when they first meet you, of constantly
communicating with you.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
It's a new challenge. Another way to.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Know if you are chasing a man is by trying
to buy his affection.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
You cannot buy a man's affection. Okay, that is just
really sad.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
And if you're doing that, you just have to stop
because you're going to be looked at as one or
two things, a mother or a friend, and I'm guaranteeing
you that you don't want either of those. I had
a girl that messaged me the other day saying, should
I financially.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Support my boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
And I'm thinking, well, yeah, of course if you want
him to take that support and support someone else with it.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Like and I get it. Like you know, we as women,
it's natural for us to nurture.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
So what we do is we want to meet those
guys that are not where they're supposed to be and
help bring them up. But that's not our job. Men
actually need to fix themselves because they're not going to
appreciate you, the one that stayed with them and the
trenches and you were the ride or die they leave
the rider dies.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Okay, you want someone that's going to cherish you. You
want someone that's going.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
To be in love with you, not love you have
love for you by default because you were the ride
or die and you knew what they were like when
they had nothing.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Because you're going to be very hurt.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
When he takes the something you helped build and build
that with someone else, you're going to be hurts.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Don't make that mistake.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Well, my circumstance is different because he knows that without
me he has no place to live, and we have
that understanding that he would never leave me. Men are
gonna say anything to keep living in your house, to
keep getting all the benefits, cooking, cleaning, all these things
and essentially being your son and your roommate, just to
(20:18):
keep getting.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Consistent sex from you and they get a place to live.
Do you think that's gonna make him fall in love
with you. No, it's going to make him stay.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
With you until he stacks up, which is essentially what
he's probably doing because he doesn't really have to pay
for much with you.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Stack up, stack up, and still leave you.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
When I was twenty one, I was dating this guy
and he had couldn't keep a job, nothing, And I
was twenty one at the time, and I was paying
for days here and there because I felt bad and
I wanted to be understanding. And then I quickly learned like,
iw like what am I actually doing? Like it was
just such a disaster with this person he did not
(20:58):
have his life together at all, and he was twenty
seven at the time. I'm sure that did not make
him want to stay per se. It was just like, Wow,
this girl is, you know, doing a lot for me,
So I really appreciate that. But then I also quickly
learned that he had that dynamic going with a lot
of his friends that were girls. Because there are also
(21:20):
exceptions to the rule where there are guys that, I mean,
dare I say it, they're comfortable with women actually providing
for them, and those are the men we stay clear
away from. Because what kind of man is that? How
can you genuinely respect that? What are you doing for
(21:41):
me that I can't.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Already do for myself? I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Steve Harvey said in his book Act like a Lady,
Think like a man, that a man's job is to protect, profess,
and provide.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
It's so simple. Play by those rules. If you already
know that that is their job, then you do not
fulfill those roles.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Amongst the many other things that we ordinarily have to
do as women, make sure that we take care of ourselves,
make sure that we keep ourselves looking young. You know,
have babies lose the weight after we have a baby,
a whole bunch of things, clean the house, all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
If that's the life so that you want.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
But women have more obligations in regular everyday stresses than
men do.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
So that's why it's.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
So important to not take over his role now too,
professing your love for him, your desire for him, paying
his way to do things, and trying to protect him,
and get defensive every time get a phone call from
your mom asking.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
What is he doing living with you? Where's his contribution?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Mom?
Speaker 2 (22:52):
You know nothing about anything. You don't know what.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
It's like to really be down for a guy to
stay with him.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Not on my watch, Not on my watch. I'm not
gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
In conclusion, do not ever, ever ever chase any man.
Men never seem to forget that there is no shortage
of women, But we as women tend to always forget
that all the time.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
And put all our eggs in one basket. Where's your roster.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
And understand that you are the prize. There's a story
in the Bible where I don't even remember who it
was that worked for seven years to marry Rachel. And
in the end, when he worked for those seven.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Years, the father gave him.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
The sister instead didn't even give him the one he wanted,
and then told him, well, if you actually really do
want Rachel, you have to work X amount of more years.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And he did that because he wanted her so bad.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Hello back in the Bible days, it's what men do.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
They work to show us why they deserve us.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
So if you are someone that feels like, well, I
don't need a guide to do all these things, I
could do it for myself. Ugh, equality, Why do people
feel like they need a free ride places?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Well, I just automatically know one thing about you.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
One you've never experienced someone actually giving you what you
deserve too.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
You also don't think you deserve it, so maybe you're right.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Why should you get it if you don't think that
you deserve it. It's always people that are living, you know,
just such bitter lives that always want to question other
people living happier lives.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
It's always people that are negative that want.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
To just bring you down because misery does love company.
But genuinely ask yourself, why do I get offended by
a girl saying that she wants to marry a guy
with money? Why do I get offended because I don't
believe in hypergamy.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Why do I get offended because I see this girl
going a lavish vacations with a guy, and so.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I'm going to troll her and write on her photo.
You are a bum, You have no job, and you.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Just want men to do everything for you. You don't
see that girl writing on your photo.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Wow, you are just disgusting, like you were working yourself
to the bone.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
You look awful. It must be all the bills.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
You're splitting with your man or lack thereof. Magically I
show up on your feed now for you to be
such a hard working woman. I mean, how did I
even end up in your algorithms if you weren't looking
for things of luxury now, Either it is divine connection
that God's sending you a sign saying change your mindset,
(25:44):
or maybe you were actually secretly looking it up on
your own.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
You have to understand if you are someone.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
That does the trolling, or you have this envy in
your heart for people that you feel like don't deserve
certain things. Who are you to tell anyone what they.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Actually don't deserve? Who are you especially in this matter?
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Live your life, Go work your job, and let that
other girl that chooses to be taken care of live
her own life.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Why is it bothering you?
Speaker 1 (26:21):
It's probably because you wish that you had someone to
do the same for you. And don't lie to yourself
and tell yourself, well, I like earning everything that I
have on my own, and I don't ever need anyone
to do it for me. We all naturally like free things.
There's a reason why we love sales. It doesn't matter
if it's you know, in Bloomingdale's or in Macy's.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
We love sales.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
It's a natural human instinct to want the best and
to preserve ourselves in effort to getting the best as well.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So that's food for thought. I hope I made sense.
So that is the end of this video. I hope
that you angels enjoyed it.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Do not forget to subscribe to this channel. Share this
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Not everyone's gonna be ready, okay, but it's your job
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Speaker 1 (27:36):
The details for the contest are going to be in
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Speaker 2 (27:40):
Be low, guys. With that being said, I love you
and God loves you, and I will receive angels in
my next video. Hmm.
Hey, angels, welcome back to my channel. Who has missed me? Okay,
hopefully not too much, It's only been two days really
busy weekend. Nonetheless, I'm back again with a brand new
video for you guys. This video, as you can see,
is about stop chasing men. Okay, But before we get
into it, I want you guys to follow me on Instagram.
(00:33):
That will be right here. And also, do not forget
to subscribe. Subscribe subscribe to this channel guys, because our
next goal is going to be a hundred K. We
already had seventy five K. I am so elated. I
cannot believe it. And it just feels so humbling that
you guys continue to support me. And I'm really excited
(00:54):
to continue to grow with you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
As a team.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
The a team, of course, and we all want to
help each other and uplift each other.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
We're sisters, best friends, cousins, whatever you want. We are that.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Also, before we move further, I know you guys are
going to ask me about my hair. I am upbsess
with this hair.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
It is so so so cute on me and it's
very very natural looking. I like the shade of blonde.
I realize I love you know, the Golden Tones, and
this actual unit was inspired by Beyonce. My hairstylist, Marc
Anthony had created this for me and I am in
love with it.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It is so me.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
We are actually doing a contest okay where for all
My New York subscribers exclusively to win a free install
and wig okay, buy my hairstylist. So check the description
box for all the information on that. Again, it is
only exclusive for all My New York subscribers for a
(01:58):
free install and wig by my hairstylist. I believe this
contest ends on Tuesday the thirtieth, so hurry up, guys,
you have a couple days.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
To get on that. It will be really, really amazing
to see who wins.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Let's get right into the video. Stop chasing men. I
know that a lot of us ladies find ourselves in
this position where we don't even realize that we are
chasing the guys that we desire. Guys, if you hear
(02:36):
that in the background, it's literally the rain it's pouring
in New York. I think it's important for us to
take a step back and understand that when we choose
to chase a man, we automatically lose.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
When you chase.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Men, you compromise and you lower your standards because it
is not a natural thing to do. You know, you
devalue yourself and the next thing you know, boom, you
are fighting common sense and falling for any of his
lies and deceit that he's trying to pull over your
eyes because you've already crossed the line as soon as
(03:17):
you started compromising and running after him. So naturally, the
question becomes, how do you know if you are in
fact chasing a man?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Let me help you out. You know you're.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Chasing a man when you have to ask the following questions,
how do I get him back after he ghosted me?
Speaker 2 (03:38):
How do you get him back after he goes? If
a guy ghosts to.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
You, it's simply because he wasn't really that interested and
is talking to someone else. I mean, if anything, let
the trash take out itself. He eliminated himself. Good, Now
you know how to move from here on out. You
clearly know he obviously doesn't care. It's just like cut
and dry. How do I get him, you know, to
want me? I know it's so difficult when dealing.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
With you know, a situation where you feel like you
kind of lost someone and you want to get them back.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
But this is how I perceive things, you know, the
older that I become. It's kind of just like, I'm
not interested in who is not interested in me. I
don't care about who doesn't care about me. I just
don't have the energy. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
But I understand that. At the same time, the.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Younger you are, you have to go through this process
of how do I get the guy back? You know
that ghosted me, and he, you know, took me out
on a bunch of dates, and then all of a
sudden he doesn't want to hang out anymore. And you
always have to initiate the conversation or initiate when you're
gonna see him again.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
And all you guys ever do is hang out at
his place.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I get that, you know, like I always tell you guys,
certain things in life we cannot skip. So once you
make those mistakes and you mature and you learn from them,
you understand the importance of action and not caring for
what doesn't care for you. Because if we essentially really
(05:11):
understood the genuine easiness and flow of a healthy functioning relationship,
I don't think that we would genuinely make the mistakes
that we have. And for some of us, unfortunately that
may not have ever experienced a healthy relationship, you really
have nothing to compare it to besides what you know
(05:33):
or you may know is right in a relationship. But
for me, I know that I have experienced, you know,
a healthy relationship before, and I kind of always compare
it to that that person really loved me. I know
what it feels like to be really loved and really
cared for. I know what it feels like when a
(05:54):
man really wants you, really desires you, really will do
anything for you. So based on my experience of that,
I know how to identify that in other people. You know,
just essentially bending your back and bending your schedule around
this guy.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Chasing him big mistake.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Men can't and won't value what they don't work for
and invest in.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
If you start off easy.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And convenient, they will exploit that, and you will be
taken advantage of. If you're taking ubers to him and
always driving to his house, delivering yourself on a silver
platter to him.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Here I am, He's gonna get used to that. There
is no initiative.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Anymore to go out his way to see you, to
make plans to go to dinner, because now it's all
at his discretion. Understand, we've all been there before, but
we just get so used to the routine and we
tell ourselves, Okay, well, I mean at least he is
hanging out with me, because if he really didn't want
(07:05):
to see me, I mean, he wouldn't have agreed to
even seeing me.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Not true.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Guys are capable of liking us to different degrees because
they are master compartmentalizers.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I always tell you guys this.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
So with that being said, if you just simply say, hey,
are you busy?
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I was wondering what you were doing on Wednesday night?
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Because I really wanted to you know, probably get dinner
something like that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
If he has nothing to do.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I mean it's a Wednesday night, more than likely he
feels like he's going to sleep with you.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
He's not going to turn that down. Great.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
He might reply saying something like this, you know, I'm
really busy all day on Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I won't be home till about like ten pm.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But if you wanted to come over after, I mean,
it's up to you. You ken, if you want, then
here you go. Wow, look at him he's so busy,
but he still just wants to see my face. So
he's telling me.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I can come over after ten pm. No, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
What he's doing is he's probably going to go to
dinner at seven thirty okay with another girl, come home
bang you okay, and either you go back home or
you spend the night Monday morning, Boom, you're out before
eight thirty. Great plan, great plan, but to you it
reads is something else. You simply forgot the fact that
(08:33):
you're the one that had to initiate plans. Two, he
didn't even make plans with you. He said he was
busy till ten pm. He's working late that night, he
has a family thing. No, he just doesn't want to
see you, to.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Go out with you. Even worse, hopefully that's not the case.
He doesn't want to spend the money.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
So instead he's like, come over my place at a
time where no knowing, Lee, what is really open at
ten pm for you guys to actually do anything substantial
on a Wednesday. I'm exposing the game because they get
pretty creative, and I want you guys to know what's
(09:16):
going on when you.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Do things like this.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
This is how you find yourself in situationships okay, where
your desire gets ahead of you because you really just
yearn for that affection from that person. And this is
where I start to question the psychology of things, where
it's like, why am I feeling like I want to
(09:42):
see this person so bad? Why do I not feel
like I have more things to do or things that
I could be working on that I want to spend
a lot of my time with this one person.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
And I know secretly.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
But I'm not paying attention to the fact that he
may not even be exclusive with me.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
We haven't even discussed any of that at all.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It just seems like and it feels like because we
have intuition as women, it just feels like if I
continue down this route, it will never really go anywhere.
But I'm hoping that it probably will, so I'm going
to keep on keeping on.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
He took you on what.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Three dates, and now you feel like it's your turn
to really just show him how much you appreciate it,
because he's gone farther than any other guy that you've
dated before.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Now, this is another thing.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
I was talking to one of my friends about this
actually yesterday, where I was telling her be careful of
entering into relationships when you are not at your best,
because yes, you know, we all want to date and
things of that nature, but when you have certain, you know,
holes in areas that need to be filled by you,
(10:52):
you tend to date people that fulfill those types of
voids in yourself. For instance, if you are someone that
is very ambitious, and you know, naturally we want the
best of the best, it's human nature, and you want
to date someone that is successful, but really you feel like, well,
that's because I want to be that, and I'm hoping
(11:14):
that this person could possibly be a crutch in that
it's a dangerous spot to be in because we end
up depending on that person so much that person sort
of becomes our entire happiness that we are not able
to actually do the work on ourselves like we thought
we would or that we thought we would be assisted in.
(11:38):
This is why having your own hobbies, having your own
life is so important, because that way you're not waiting
around for this person to text you back or anything.
You were able to clearly see logically, this person is
not reciprocating the same amount of desire that I am
(12:00):
to him. And remember, especially in the beginning the desires
for men and women are going to be different. Because
a woman can look at a man and say, oh
my gosh, that looks like somebody I would.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Want to marry.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
A guy will look at a woman and say, that
looks like somebody I.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Want to bang.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Do you understand the motivations are different, especially in the beginning.
So you're leading with that sort of mentality and he's
leading with just the banging mentality, and you, guys are
already off on.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
The wrong foot.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Now, what I'm saying is knowing what you know, or
knowing what you know now, it's important to identify that
not let your desire get in the way of your
common sense.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
It's okay to actually desire wanting to get married and
things of that nature.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
But you have to make sure that you're not making
that so obvious because no one likes desperate people.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
No one likes someone that's so obvious what it is
that they want. It's unattractive.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And in addition to that, you don't want to start
to feed yourself lies of trying to put this person
in this category to mold him into what it is
that you desire, because he very well might not fit
another thing in regards to desire. We need to have
self control. And I'm not talking about self control where
(13:21):
you're already over his house and you know, you know
that you will not let him sleep with you because
of anything.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
You will just sleep on the other side of the bed.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Now, self control begins with not even going over his
house putting yourself in that position anyway, because after a while,
it all boils down to science. Science takes over. You're
already attracted to this guy. Men love sleeping with women
all the time. I mean that just goes without saying.
And now you don't want to put yourself in a
(13:52):
position where you have to even.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Pass up on his advances.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Do you understand what I'm saying That that's where the
self control really begins.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So when you give, give, give, and you turn around
and you're just like, why.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Do I feel like this person isn't really liking me back,
it's because you gave more than you received. Men are
not going to just ghost someone that they've invested in emotionally,
financially and spent months, you know, dating.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
They're just not typically going to do that because they
would look dumb.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
They already put in too much work to just and
money to walk away and be like.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
I'm ghosting her. They don't have a reason to.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
But when they've done the bare minimum and God forbid,
it impresses you, and you're meeting them at the finish
line before they get there all the time. Now you've
become predictable, and they know that you're chasing them. They
know that they don't even have to remember to make
plans with you, because you're gonna do it anyway. You're
actually going to remind them that they need to make
(15:03):
plans with you. And then, conveniently, he's never really available
in the day except what once every two weeks, and
he wants to stay local around his house because he
wants to shoot back over just so we can get
with you, all right, And you think, wow, he's despite
(15:25):
his busy schedule, he's just still making time for me.
And I know that he's busy, so I only think
it's there that I, you know, kind of meet him halfway.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
We don't need to, We don't need to.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
If he really wanted you that bad, he would make
sure that he's making plans for you.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
It's just like ladies every single time.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
In the beginning, guys are so consistent every single time,
and more than likely we don't reciprocate.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
That in the beginning as much as they.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Do until we go in that first date, until we
start hanging out with them, and then we realize, hmm,
I actually do.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Like this guy.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
So we start reciprocating and just opening up being as
wanton as possible to really show them, Okay, I like
you back now, and then that's where and when we
fall off the rails, and it's kind of just like,
all right, they did their job already, they chased me already,
and now you're going to.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Chase them for the rest of their relationship. No. I
have said this in a video before. It's just this
cut and dry.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
If a guy wants to see you, he's going to
make time to see you.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
If he's thinking about you, he's going to text you.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
You ever date somebody and you're talking to them and
they are so consistent with speaking to you, and you're
not really paying attention to them, but you do happen
to notice that.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
A whole two days goes by and.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Next you know it, you haven't spoken to them or
they actually haven't spoken to you in a two day timeframe,
and then you just happen to shoot them at text
for once hey, and they respond like a day and
a half later saying sorry, didn't see this before. So
you managed to magically not see the one time I
(17:20):
text you, but every other time before then you were
just on it, whether I was.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Responding or not. He's lying.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
It feels good to be pursued, right, It feels good
to be chased. It feels natural to us to be chased,
or at least it should. So why would you want
to relinquish your power to giving up that dynamic?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
And now you're the one doing the chasing.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
This is going to weak them out very easily by
you understanding that, Hey, does this person really want me
or not? What is this person's intentions? How long is
this person willing to court me, invest in me, do
(18:08):
all these things in effort to actually proving that they
really actually do like me. Like they say, men love
the challenge of conquering something that is new. That's why
they're so consistent when they first meet you, of constantly
communicating with you.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
It's a new challenge. Another way to.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Know if you are chasing a man is by trying
to buy his affection.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
You cannot buy a man's affection. Okay, that is just
really sad.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
And if you're doing that, you just have to stop
because you're going to be looked at as one or
two things, a mother or a friend, and I'm guaranteeing
you that you don't want either of those. I had
a girl that messaged me the other day saying, should
I financially.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Support my boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
And I'm thinking, well, yeah, of course if you want
him to take that support and support someone else with it.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Like and I get it. Like you know, we as women,
it's natural for us to nurture.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
So what we do is we want to meet those
guys that are not where they're supposed to be and
help bring them up. But that's not our job. Men
actually need to fix themselves because they're not going to
appreciate you, the one that stayed with them and the
trenches and you were the ride or die they leave
the rider dies.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Okay, you want someone that's going to cherish you. You
want someone that's going.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
To be in love with you, not love you have
love for you by default because you were the ride
or die and you knew what they were like when
they had nothing.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Because you're going to be very hurt.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
When he takes the something you helped build and build
that with someone else, you're going to be hurts.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Don't make that mistake.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Well, my circumstance is different because he knows that without
me he has no place to live, and we have
that understanding that he would never leave me. Men are
gonna say anything to keep living in your house, to
keep getting all the benefits, cooking, cleaning, all these things
and essentially being your son and your roommate, just to
(20:18):
keep getting.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Consistent sex from you and they get a place to live.
Do you think that's gonna make him fall in love
with you. No, it's going to make him stay.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
With you until he stacks up, which is essentially what
he's probably doing because he doesn't really have to pay
for much with you.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Stack up, stack up, and still leave you.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
When I was twenty one, I was dating this guy
and he had couldn't keep a job, nothing, And I
was twenty one at the time, and I was paying
for days here and there because I felt bad and
I wanted to be understanding. And then I quickly learned like,
iw like what am I actually doing? Like it was
just such a disaster with this person he did not
(20:58):
have his life together at all, and he was twenty
seven at the time. I'm sure that did not make
him want to stay per se. It was just like, Wow,
this girl is, you know, doing a lot for me,
So I really appreciate that. But then I also quickly
learned that he had that dynamic going with a lot
of his friends that were girls. Because there are also
(21:20):
exceptions to the rule where there are guys that, I mean,
dare I say it, they're comfortable with women actually providing
for them, and those are the men we stay clear
away from. Because what kind of man is that? How
can you genuinely respect that? What are you doing for
(21:41):
me that I can't.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Already do for myself? I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Steve Harvey said in his book Act like a Lady,
Think like a man, that a man's job is to protect, profess,
and provide.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
It's so simple. Play by those rules. If you already
know that that is their job, then you do not
fulfill those roles.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Amongst the many other things that we ordinarily have to
do as women, make sure that we take care of ourselves,
make sure that we keep ourselves looking young. You know,
have babies lose the weight after we have a baby,
a whole bunch of things, clean the house, all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
If that's the life so that you want.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
But women have more obligations in regular everyday stresses than
men do.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
So that's why it's.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
So important to not take over his role now too,
professing your love for him, your desire for him, paying
his way to do things, and trying to protect him,
and get defensive every time get a phone call from
your mom asking.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
What is he doing living with you? Where's his contribution?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Mom?
Speaker 2 (22:52):
You know nothing about anything. You don't know what.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
It's like to really be down for a guy to
stay with him.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Not on my watch, Not on my watch. I'm not
gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
In conclusion, do not ever, ever ever chase any man.
Men never seem to forget that there is no shortage
of women, But we as women tend to always forget
that all the time.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
And put all our eggs in one basket. Where's your roster.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
And understand that you are the prize. There's a story
in the Bible where I don't even remember who it
was that worked for seven years to marry Rachel. And
in the end, when he worked for those seven.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Years, the father gave him.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
The sister instead didn't even give him the one he wanted,
and then told him, well, if you actually really do
want Rachel, you have to work X amount of more years.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And he did that because he wanted her so bad.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Hello back in the Bible days, it's what men do.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
They work to show us why they deserve us.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
So if you are someone that feels like, well, I
don't need a guide to do all these things, I
could do it for myself. Ugh, equality, Why do people
feel like they need a free ride places?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Well, I just automatically know one thing about you.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
One you've never experienced someone actually giving you what you
deserve too.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
You also don't think you deserve it, so maybe you're right.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Why should you get it if you don't think that
you deserve it. It's always people that are living, you know,
just such bitter lives that always want to question other
people living happier lives.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
It's always people that are negative that want.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
To just bring you down because misery does love company.
But genuinely ask yourself, why do I get offended by
a girl saying that she wants to marry a guy
with money? Why do I get offended because I don't
believe in hypergamy.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Why do I get offended because I see this girl
going a lavish vacations with a guy, and so.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I'm going to troll her and write on her photo.
You are a bum, You have no job, and you.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Just want men to do everything for you. You don't
see that girl writing on your photo.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Wow, you are just disgusting, like you were working yourself
to the bone.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
You look awful. It must be all the bills.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
You're splitting with your man or lack thereof. Magically I
show up on your feed now for you to be
such a hard working woman. I mean, how did I
even end up in your algorithms if you weren't looking
for things of luxury now, Either it is divine connection
that God's sending you a sign saying change your mindset,
(25:44):
or maybe you were actually secretly looking it up on
your own.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
You have to understand if you are someone.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
That does the trolling, or you have this envy in
your heart for people that you feel like don't deserve
certain things. Who are you to tell anyone what they.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Actually don't deserve? Who are you especially in this matter?
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Live your life, Go work your job, and let that
other girl that chooses to be taken care of live
her own life.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Why is it bothering you?
Speaker 1 (26:21):
It's probably because you wish that you had someone to
do the same for you. And don't lie to yourself
and tell yourself, well, I like earning everything that I
have on my own, and I don't ever need anyone
to do it for me. We all naturally like free things.
There's a reason why we love sales. It doesn't matter
if it's you know, in Bloomingdale's or in Macy's.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
We love sales.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
It's a natural human instinct to want the best and
to preserve ourselves in effort to getting the best as well.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So that's food for thought. I hope I made sense.
So that is the end of this video. I hope
that you angels enjoyed it.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Do not forget to subscribe to this channel. Share this
video with all your friends. Our next goal is one
hundred k guys. Okay, I know it may seem like
we are far, but I promise you where not. Numbers
can shoot up very very fast. As we also know
on this channel, numbers do shoot up very very fast.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
So share this content with who you feel like needs
to see it.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Not everyone's gonna be ready, okay, but it's your job
to plant the.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Seed if you feel like you must. And also, of
course you not forget to follow me on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
The details for the contest are going to be in
the description box.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Be low, guys. With that being said, I love you
and God loves you, and I will receive angels in
my next video. Hmm.
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