June 2, 2025 • 21 mins
***The Asha Christina Tapes***
YOU'RE The Prize Now Start Acting like it!!!! (Pep Talk)… In this dating, love, and relationship video, I will explore the concept of being the prize in your life and help motivate you. You are the prize on first dates, online dating, or elsewhere in the relationship. Embrace this advice for women, learn why you are the prize, and start acting like it. If you want men to respect and admire you, you must start believing you are the prize. Too often, we look to others for validation and forget that we are valuable and worthy individuals in our skin. Pay attention to this relationship advice to understand why you are the prize. I want you to understand that you are the prize, and this pep talk will help you recognize your inherent worth and build your confidence. When you are the prize, you will take ownership of your life, set boundaries, and stop settling for less than you deserve. It's time to embrace your inner prize and start living the life you were meant to live. I'm Just a girl who's trying to build a longer table instead of a fence. My goal is to help you transform your life with my combination of personal development, human psychology, sophistication, and inner and outer beauty tips. This video will give you clarity if you are asking the following questions or looking for;
YOU'RE The Prize Now Start Acting like it!!!! (Pep Talk)… In this dating, love, and relationship video, I will explore the concept of being the prize in your life and help motivate you. You are the prize on first dates, online dating, or elsewhere in the relationship. Embrace this advice for women, learn why you are the prize, and start acting like it. If you want men to respect and admire you, you must start believing you are the prize. Too often, we look to others for validation and forget that we are valuable and worthy individuals in our skin. Pay attention to this relationship advice to understand why you are the prize. I want you to understand that you are the prize, and this pep talk will help you recognize your inherent worth and build your confidence. When you are the prize, you will take ownership of your life, set boundaries, and stop settling for less than you deserve. It's time to embrace your inner prize and start living the life you were meant to live. I'm Just a girl who's trying to build a longer table instead of a fence. My goal is to help you transform your life with my combination of personal development, human psychology, sophistication, and inner and outer beauty tips. This video will give you clarity if you are asking the following questions or looking for;
- You're the prize
- You are the prize
- The prize
- You are the prize not him
- Online dating
- Dating tips
- Relationship advice
- Dating coach for women
- Life coach
- Personal development
- Level up
- You are the prize now
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Maybe I should have thought about wearing a white shirt
with a white background. It's fine, bear with me. Hello, angels,
welcome back to my channel. I have a very fun,
exciting video. I feel very energetic today, like do you
(00:21):
like feel like energy? Hi, everybody, my name is Asha Christina.
Welcome to the A team, Babe. Today we are going
to be talking about you are the prize, So start
acting like one. Try to shorten my intros. So I
just want to make sure that I'm not spending too
long going into so much stuff. So if you guys
want to know what hair I'm wearing, what makeup I
(00:42):
have on, it will all be in the description box below,
along with all of my social media. Let's get right
on into this. We've all heard this saying a thousand
times over.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
You're the price.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Start acting like it, but I don't feel like we
really grasp what it actually means. So let me hold
your hand here, career, let me hold your virtual hand,
and we are going to take a deep dive to
exactly what this means. Number One, that's important. You want
to be a mental challenge. Okay, how much of yourself
(01:15):
were you willing.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
To give up?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Because why overcompensating lessons a man's respect. You cannot show
all your cards, your best cards, and expect not to
be taken advantage of, because why in a new relationship,
the bond is particularly shallow.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
So I think that too often.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
We make the mistake of zeroing in on one person,
and that's how you.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Set yourself up for failure.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So you remain a challenge by not surrendering to your
emotions all the time. I don't care how much you
want to see this person, I don't care how much
you want to talk to them all day long, because
men know when you react emotionally, it means that they.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Have the control.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Please and God, this is so much easier said than done,
especially the older that you become. It's like inevitably you
sort of cultivate this type of mindset. If you are
tired of situations happening over and over again the way
they have been happening, you inevitably become this way where
you know, okay, if I act on my emotion here
(02:22):
and I start messaging him all day long and wondering
where he's been, you can think about him all day
long if you really want to, but don't show it.
Don't be afraid to lose any guy. This is crucial
in understanding that you are the prize. And I also
want to say this fundamentally, and I said this to
my brother too, and he agreed. As a man, men
(02:45):
really get with who they can. We as the woman,
have choice power. Men get with who they can, women
get with who they want. You choose a guy, ninety
percent of the work, if it were to be intimately,
is already done. He's I'm gonna say, Okay, let's go
do this. And how many times are they really declining
things anyway? Really, let's be honest here, not often. Don't
(03:07):
think that being super honest and oversharing in the name
of not playing games is gonna guarantee you a relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
And also, you know, while I'm at it.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Here, because I didn't put this disclaimer out there, I
want to make a disclaimer, a blanket disclaimer that everything
that I discussed in this video, in future videos, in
my past videos is all circumstantial.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
My word is not gold.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
These are my viewpoints based on research that I've done,
based on you know, life experience, an amalgam of different things,
but nonetheless, my perspective mainly and by no means am
I saying that my way is the way I am,
not the way, the truth and the life God is
shout out to him. So you are not forced to
(03:55):
follow my advice. You don't have to follow my advice,
but I do thank you for listening, and I do
thank you for watching. You don't have to do anything
that I say to do. Hey, you could just be
watching me because you think I'm funny. You could be
watching me because you think I look funny. Either way,
Lah love to the both of you. I think that
at the end of the day, just understand that I'm
very well aware of the fact that you don't have
(04:17):
to listen to my advice.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Now let's get back on into this. You are the
prize he approached.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
You notice every time a relationship starts where you barely
pay the guy in his mind and it feels like
he's all over you, And the second that you even
merely reciprocate a percandage of that interest back to him,
you start to feel like you're chasing him. And to
a lot of us, it's mind boggling. It's like, wait,
what happened here? I can assure you that you are
(04:46):
not well.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
No they're not. But this is just how the game goes. Okay,
this is how it goes.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
When you put so much effort into a situation without
someone working for it, they will devalue it. And in
most cases, guys will just assume that you're desperate or
that you're just this way with everyone, so it's not
special to him. So understand if he has a problem
with your standards, what it takes to get you and
(05:13):
your confidence, then that's his problem, not yours. Don't be
afraid to lose any guy. And this goes even for
my ladies that are doing online dating, which you know
I normally never advocate for, but you know, we're in
this pandemic and dating is just it's a stretch right now.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
There aren't many places that you can go.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yes, places have opened up again, but to me, not
that it's impossible, of course, because everything is circumstantial, like
I say, but dating online is still dating online.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
And that's on that, on that, on that, on that,
on that.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
You can talk to a guy on Tinder, on bumble
on wherever they're going these days, luxey, and you have
to understand that you can establish, you know, a connection
with someone, So you think on the internet and all
of a sudden, this guy just never met you again,
and you're just very confused on why he even bothered.
So we get so wrapped up in someone just interrupting,
(06:07):
you know, our piece. What we really need to understand
is that the bond is shallow, Like actually write this
down the bond. There's no depth to the connection that
you guys have genuinely made. And because of that, you
have to understand that this person is not really putting
much thought into how their actions is directly affecting you,
which is why it shouldn't be personalized.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
So I completely understand.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
That it's annoying, like, don't step in my space if
you're not prepared to handle what I've come with. But
that's why it's better to also have the variety of
also having a roster, because it's like, Okay, if one
guy slips off, okay, whatever, Like who even cares, Like
I'm a quality queen anyway, it's not gonna bother me.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Next one.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Be selective with your time. I'm not always there when
you call. Oh wait, no, that's not a good that's
not a good reference. Ash, that's not Oh my god,
this is embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Give me a second.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I don't have another song, but when I do, I
will sing it.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Be selective with your time and don't always give your
all and beg him to be yours. Sometimes you're available,
sometimes you're not simple. So this shows that you have
your own life as you should what's happening, and this
keeps things interesting. So what this emphasizes is that he
does not have a hold on you, and you're not
(07:20):
about to sit here and pop out at two am
delivering yourself to him like Uber eats. We're done, because
why remember this? Familiarity breeds contempt and predictability breeds boredom,
and this is why guys just fall to face of
the earth sometimes. And of course there are instances a
lot of instances actually, which is just all the more confusing,
(07:42):
where because we don't have the full story, we don't
have enough data that we're collecting, we look at a
situation that happens that makes absolutely no sense, and we
just we have nothing other than to gather like, oh,
why did this happen? So we're obsessing over the answers
that we don't have, when sometimes it's just so easy
to forget that he's acting in his own best interest.
There's always a reason. It may feel random to you,
(08:03):
but it's not to him. He could have just found
another girl. He could have been, you know, getting back
with an X. Like you never really know, so just
try your best to not personalize these things. I also
want to emphasize don't pretend to be busy, like actually
be busy. I mean, there's so many things to do
in life. I mean I always used to say to this,
I used to be so you know, sad, because I
used used to think, Oh my god, I wish I
(08:25):
was bored, Like I wonder what being bored actually feels like,
because I feel like I've all my life, I've always
had something to do.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
I don't know, that's just me.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I've always just felt like I had something to do,
you know, And I also have I don't know. I
always keep myself occupied. I am either playing sudoku, which
I actually haven't played in a long time.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
So maybe not the best example. Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I have a lot of books on my iPad my iPhone.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I love to read.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I'm an avid reader. It's like stepping into another dimension
and I really enjoy it. Nonetheless, there's so many different
things you can do all the time, whether that's a
new hobby, whether that's watch a YouTube video watching in
a city. O. Hey, oh, while you're at it, give
this video a thumbs up.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
I love.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
But anyways, like I said, there are so many other
things that you can actually do with your life that
you genuinely don't have to pretend to be busy. I
think sometimes that message gets lost in translation when you
hear people say, or if you hear me say, to
actually not be available all the time, because a lot
of us are really, you know, usually willing to shape
shift our schedule all the time because we really want
(09:27):
to hang out with somebody, and we're missing the fact
that I told you guys last year to have a
roster as to oster, and you guys are still obsessing
over one person.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Make it make sense.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Okay, maybe you actually can't stop, but just don't let
it show. Like I know, it's so hard, but this
is where the actual work comes in. You have to
master controlling your emotions and how you feel, because I
promise you you're not going to win that way, or okay,
let me not.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Maybe maybe I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Don't want to use the word win, but you guys
figuratively understand what it is that I'm saying. If you
want to be able to obtain you know, that relationship,
then you cannot always be available because you don't want,
you know, to lose that mystery. The more time you
spend with someone, you're creating a bond with them, and
a lot of that mystery does die down because you
are spending so much time with someone, you're getting to
(10:17):
know them inside and out. And yes, arguably there are
so many different things that you can learn about someone.
You can't learn all of them in a certain time span. However,
have the understanding that people do show you sides to
themselves that they want you to see. And in the
beginning stages of a relationship, it's always going to seem flawless.
And I think that a lot of the time. But
we give credit to Fish for swimming. Oh my god,
(10:39):
he opened the door for me. He's such a gentleman.
He like literally opened the door for me, like when
I was getting out of the car. Like I usually
stop giving credit to Phish for swimming.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I'm gonna just leave that right there.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Embrace the uncertainty. What do I mean by that? Who
cares if he calls yes? That's what I said. Who
cares if he calls? Even if he calls you and
schedules the dane doesn't call you, then who cares? Let
people do what they want to do so you could
see what they.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Would rather do.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
How can you, with a job, a roster, and friends
and hobbies care about whether one person is calling you,
especially if it's a brand new dynamic. How can you
have the time to care about that. That's the thing
that we as women do. We can maintain so many
different things. We are multitaskers. We are so strong, we
(11:24):
are so amazing, and a guy comes into our lives
and we all of a sudden don't know how to
behave We're eliminating all the things, all the passions. We
are just setting everything aside for this individual, when they,
nine times out of ten have not earned the right,
Nor does anyone really reserve the right to enable you
to surrender all of your life to them in a
(11:45):
way where you no longer have a career, You no
longer are doing these things because you're following you know
that person. I think, if anything, the right person that
comes along enables you to maintain your own independence and individuality.
You are not concerned with where this relationship is going. Yes,
I actually said that you are not necessarily concerned because
when you focus so much on where it's going, because
(12:06):
naturally is a woman, that's what we do. How is
this person going to fit into my life? Am I
wasting my time? I don't want to waste my time,
especially in twenty twenty. I don't want waste my time.
I don't feel like having another person in my life.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
And da da da. A lot of this.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Comes from us planning our lives around people who don't
even know if they're gonna call us back the next day.
I'm sorry, but that's really the reality. Please believe me
when I tell you that if there is a destination,
you will know if this relationship is going.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Somewhere, you will know. A guy will tell you.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Because guys don't want to keep the woman of their
dream as a women they want off the market.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
They don't.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
That's why, so many times, so many different instances, we
see guys that will waste a girl's time for X
amount of years, X amount of months, okay, and then
he'll go jump right to the next girl and do
all the great and fabulous things for the next chick.
In a way shorter time span he knew, no matter
how short of a time it took. This is what
I want. This is what I want the relationship to be.
(13:03):
This is where I see the relationship going. You need
to be in your own world and enjoy it. Let
him try and scramble to figure out where you are
when you're gonna pick up the phone, and even if
you will pick up the phone, and be very careful
of these temperamental man babies. Yeah, man babies that start
to ghost you because you didn't answer their call, so
(13:23):
now they want to act mad. Stop stop throwing the tantrum.
That is a data point. Who cares. Don't let that
person's reaction manipulate you now into chasing him.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
To prove that no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I am interested. Okay sorry. First of all, we're adults here.
This is like a this is a basic human psychology
data point. Here where I feel like, Okay, if I
have to be scared of, like not picking up your
call because I'm doing something, you can feel it. It's
an intuitive feeling where you can feel like, Okay, this
person's acting distant because I'm not available all the time,
(13:58):
instead of just understanding that him maybe she just actually
has her own life and this makes me want her more. Instead,
you're like trying to ghost and be all weird because
you want to prove a point of well, I'm upset
that you didn't answer when I don't fall for that,
Please a word for someone.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Don't fall for.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
That when you just met someone.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It is not normal to get all bent out of
shape if you didn't hear from them for the day
or they didn't call to check in. It's just it's
not normal. Let him do whatever he wants to do.
Don't generate behavior expectations in this manner so soon just
log the data mentally. Now that's not to say don't
pay attention to the stuff that he's doing. Balance people,
(14:38):
because sometimes I always feel like I have to defend
the other side because some people just take what you
say and they just take it so literally, and you know,
they just can't differentiate when you're trying to be literal
and when you're not.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
It's just balance people.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Don't try to have these types of expectations, as I've said,
where you're like, oh my god, why do you call
me back?
Speaker 2 (14:56):
I literally don't understand.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
He literally was hitting me up all day yesterday and
like today he's not so like, I don't know. Is
it because like I took three I was to answer
him because I was at work. Is it because I
actually have stuff to do?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
You can't run away something that really really wants you,
someone that really really wants you.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
How many times have we liked.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Not liked a guy and it just did not deter him,
No matter what, No matter how many dms of his
that you have ignored and left on red and he
still has messaged you, it didn't deter him. You can't
deter someone that actually really wants to be with you.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Stop over compensating. Doing too much?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Is doing too much? Literally what I said, A guy
has to earn your devotion.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Earn your commitment. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Not we are earning their commitment. No, no, no, no, he
has to earn our commitment. Let's reframe that now in
twenty twenty, you're gonna earn my commitment.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I'm no longer.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Interested in whether or not I'm proving to you whether
or not I'm worthy of being with No, you're going
to show me that you're worthy of being with me.
That's what's gonna happen here. I know that I'm capable
of being a commitment. I mean, Jesus, it's practically human
nature for woman just saying. He has to earn your time,
He has to earn your affection. So you cannot sustain
interest by doing the most. The peak was reached. There's
(16:14):
nothing else to aspire to want. We've seen all that
we need to see here people, he's done. And sometimes
because this happens too, sometimes he hasn't seen anything. Sometimes
you haven't even slept with him. You just went on
a couple of dates and he disappeared, and you know
what that means. Hey, it wasn't for you, but you
know what's gonna happen. They always come back. So don't
feel inclined to be like hey, just sudden, you know,
(16:37):
I haven't heard from you in like two weeks, so
like what's up with that? Like why did you waste
my time? Like we were literally talking for like a month.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Like why why?
Speaker 2 (16:45):
And why? Like why? No?
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Let people do whatever they want to do. If he
tries to come back into your life then after that,
because they always do.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
The balls in.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Your court now, so you can play things how you
want to play it and let them know that wasn't
cool what you did, okay, and speak up for yourself. However,
if you don't hear a word from that individual, randomly
hitting them up out of the blue to let them
know that they offended you when they know. I'm pretty
sure they know that they've ghosted you, but it wasn't
important for them to give you a heads up, right,
because that's what ghosting is. It's not about hey, just
letting you know I Am not going to be speaking
(17:16):
to you.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
In like about a week from now.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
I'm literally gonna disappear with the face of the earth
and I'm going to resurface again in the next six months.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
They're not going to do that, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
And at the end of the day, like this is
just how dating is in twenty twenty. You have to
play by these rules. So of course, I want to
add there are always exceptions to these rules, but they
are significantly disproportionate to the masses. Where doing the most
and even getting with the guy on the first date
is going to lead to a relationship. I'm sorry, it's
(17:50):
disproportionate to the masses. Say whatever you want to say,
sue me. Is what it is now I'm back to
what I was saying. And for those of you that
get up in arms about ugh, we have to do
tell much to accommodate men.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I beg to defer here.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
If you think about it, when the game is played correctly,
you're not You're not accommodating guys. They're actually accommodating you.
So if some of you feel like this is a
lot of mental gymnastics, which it probably will feel like
because it's a new concept maybe to some of you,
you have to put in the work here a little bit,
just so that you can have the understanding, so that
(18:25):
you don't have to keep putting yourself out there because
more than likely, I mean, you're either doing one or
two things.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
You're either getting played or not. There's no in between here.
You are or you aren't.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You know. So if you're the type of person that thinks, oh,
I'm gonna go the extra mail and cooking you know,
a really nice homemade dinner even though we met last
month and went on two dates, let me tell you something,
that man is going to enjoy that meal, enjoy you
if it gets to that point, and still leave because
(18:58):
it could translate to the guys, Yeah, she's kind of desperate,
Like we're two three days in and she's already cooking
me a home cooked meal. And you could be thinking,
I just want to show him that I'm the wife
type and all this, and it doesn't read the same
to men.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
He didn't do anything to earn being treated like.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
A husband, so so why are you showing him that
you're a wife who gave him this title?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Here, you did what's really in I'm scared.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
And then you have the girls that overshare because they
don't want to play games.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
While they're usually getting played. It's okay.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
And there was a quote I read It wasn't a
book that I read a while back, and it said,
think of a man's psyche like a plant. It needs water,
but it also needs air to breathe. So giving reassurance
is like overwatering a plant.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
It kills it. Think about that.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
So, in conclusion, let the guy miss you. Yes, it's true,
since does make the heart grow fonder. Never overshare, keep
him on his toes. Never compare yourself to other women. Ever,
competing with other women is pointless. You are you, and
you are in your own lane. You are the prize.
If he doesn't like the rules or do what it
(20:16):
takes to get you. Oh well, life goes on. There
are way too many options in the world to be
stuck on one, and men understand that concept. So I
think it's time that we adapt that same concept.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Keep that roster. If you have not seen my video
on how to get a roster, you might.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Want to click that. That will definitely be somewhere on
the screen. With that being said, angels, do not forget
that I love you and God loves you and I'll
see you. Guys.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Give it next video.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
The bond is shallow in the shallo No, that just
reminded me of that, and that had nothing to do
with proving my point, but it had the word shallow
in it.
Maybe I should have thought about wearing a white shirt
with a white background. It's fine, bear with me. Hello, angels,
welcome back to my channel. I have a very fun,
exciting video. I feel very energetic today, like do you
(00:21):
like feel like energy? Hi, everybody, my name is Asha Christina.
Welcome to the A team, Babe. Today we are going
to be talking about you are the prize, So start
acting like one. Try to shorten my intros. So I
just want to make sure that I'm not spending too
long going into so much stuff. So if you guys
want to know what hair I'm wearing, what makeup I
(00:42):
have on, it will all be in the description box below,
along with all of my social media. Let's get right
on into this. We've all heard this saying a thousand
times over.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
You're the price.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Start acting like it, but I don't feel like we
really grasp what it actually means. So let me hold
your hand here, career, let me hold your virtual hand,
and we are going to take a deep dive to
exactly what this means. Number One, that's important. You want
to be a mental challenge. Okay, how much of yourself
(01:15):
were you willing.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
To give up?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Because why overcompensating lessons a man's respect. You cannot show
all your cards, your best cards, and expect not to
be taken advantage of, because why in a new relationship,
the bond is particularly shallow.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
So I think that too often.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
We make the mistake of zeroing in on one person,
and that's how you.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Set yourself up for failure.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So you remain a challenge by not surrendering to your
emotions all the time. I don't care how much you
want to see this person, I don't care how much
you want to talk to them all day long, because
men know when you react emotionally, it means that they.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Have the control.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Please and God, this is so much easier said than done,
especially the older that you become. It's like inevitably you
sort of cultivate this type of mindset. If you are
tired of situations happening over and over again the way
they have been happening, you inevitably become this way where
you know, okay, if I act on my emotion here
(02:22):
and I start messaging him all day long and wondering
where he's been, you can think about him all day
long if you really want to, but don't show it.
Don't be afraid to lose any guy. This is crucial
in understanding that you are the prize. And I also
want to say this fundamentally, and I said this to
my brother too, and he agreed. As a man, men
(02:45):
really get with who they can. We as the woman,
have choice power. Men get with who they can, women
get with who they want. You choose a guy, ninety
percent of the work, if it were to be intimately,
is already done. He's I'm gonna say, Okay, let's go
do this. And how many times are they really declining
things anyway? Really, let's be honest here, not often. Don't
(03:07):
think that being super honest and oversharing in the name
of not playing games is gonna guarantee you a relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
And also, you know, while I'm at it.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Here, because I didn't put this disclaimer out there, I
want to make a disclaimer, a blanket disclaimer that everything
that I discussed in this video, in future videos, in
my past videos is all circumstantial.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
My word is not gold.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
These are my viewpoints based on research that I've done,
based on you know, life experience, an amalgam of different things,
but nonetheless, my perspective mainly and by no means am
I saying that my way is the way I am,
not the way, the truth and the life God is
shout out to him. So you are not forced to
(03:55):
follow my advice. You don't have to follow my advice,
but I do thank you for listening, and I do
thank you for watching. You don't have to do anything
that I say to do. Hey, you could just be
watching me because you think I'm funny. You could be
watching me because you think I look funny. Either way,
Lah love to the both of you. I think that
at the end of the day, just understand that I'm
very well aware of the fact that you don't have
(04:17):
to listen to my advice.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Now let's get back on into this. You are the
prize he approached.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
You notice every time a relationship starts where you barely
pay the guy in his mind and it feels like
he's all over you, And the second that you even
merely reciprocate a percandage of that interest back to him,
you start to feel like you're chasing him. And to
a lot of us, it's mind boggling. It's like, wait,
what happened here? I can assure you that you are
(04:46):
not well.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
No they're not. But this is just how the game goes. Okay,
this is how it goes.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
When you put so much effort into a situation without
someone working for it, they will devalue it. And in
most cases, guys will just assume that you're desperate or
that you're just this way with everyone, so it's not
special to him. So understand if he has a problem
with your standards, what it takes to get you and
(05:13):
your confidence, then that's his problem, not yours. Don't be
afraid to lose any guy. And this goes even for
my ladies that are doing online dating, which you know
I normally never advocate for, but you know, we're in
this pandemic and dating is just it's a stretch right now.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
There aren't many places that you can go.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yes, places have opened up again, but to me, not
that it's impossible, of course, because everything is circumstantial, like
I say, but dating online is still dating online.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
And that's on that, on that, on that, on that,
on that.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
You can talk to a guy on Tinder, on bumble
on wherever they're going these days, luxey, and you have
to understand that you can establish, you know, a connection
with someone, So you think on the internet and all
of a sudden, this guy just never met you again,
and you're just very confused on why he even bothered.
So we get so wrapped up in someone just interrupting,
(06:07):
you know, our piece. What we really need to understand
is that the bond is shallow, Like actually write this
down the bond. There's no depth to the connection that
you guys have genuinely made. And because of that, you
have to understand that this person is not really putting
much thought into how their actions is directly affecting you,
which is why it shouldn't be personalized.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
So I completely understand.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
That it's annoying, like, don't step in my space if
you're not prepared to handle what I've come with. But
that's why it's better to also have the variety of
also having a roster, because it's like, Okay, if one
guy slips off, okay, whatever, Like who even cares, Like
I'm a quality queen anyway, it's not gonna bother me.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Next one.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Be selective with your time. I'm not always there when
you call. Oh wait, no, that's not a good that's
not a good reference. Ash, that's not Oh my god,
this is embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Give me a second.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I don't have another song, but when I do, I
will sing it.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Be selective with your time and don't always give your
all and beg him to be yours. Sometimes you're available,
sometimes you're not simple. So this shows that you have
your own life as you should what's happening, and this
keeps things interesting. So what this emphasizes is that he
does not have a hold on you, and you're not
(07:20):
about to sit here and pop out at two am
delivering yourself to him like Uber eats. We're done, because
why remember this? Familiarity breeds contempt and predictability breeds boredom,
and this is why guys just fall to face of
the earth sometimes. And of course there are instances a
lot of instances actually, which is just all the more confusing,
(07:42):
where because we don't have the full story, we don't
have enough data that we're collecting, we look at a
situation that happens that makes absolutely no sense, and we
just we have nothing other than to gather like, oh,
why did this happen? So we're obsessing over the answers
that we don't have, when sometimes it's just so easy
to forget that he's acting in his own best interest.
There's always a reason. It may feel random to you,
(08:03):
but it's not to him. He could have just found
another girl. He could have been, you know, getting back
with an X. Like you never really know, so just
try your best to not personalize these things. I also
want to emphasize don't pretend to be busy, like actually
be busy. I mean, there's so many things to do
in life. I mean I always used to say to this,
I used to be so you know, sad, because I
used used to think, Oh my god, I wish I
(08:25):
was bored, Like I wonder what being bored actually feels like,
because I feel like I've all my life, I've always
had something to do.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
I don't know, that's just me.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I've always just felt like I had something to do,
you know, And I also have I don't know. I
always keep myself occupied. I am either playing sudoku, which
I actually haven't played in a long time.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
So maybe not the best example. Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I have a lot of books on my iPad my iPhone.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I love to read.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I'm an avid reader. It's like stepping into another dimension
and I really enjoy it. Nonetheless, there's so many different
things you can do all the time, whether that's a
new hobby, whether that's watch a YouTube video watching in
a city. O. Hey, oh, while you're at it, give
this video a thumbs up.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
I love.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
But anyways, like I said, there are so many other
things that you can actually do with your life that
you genuinely don't have to pretend to be busy. I
think sometimes that message gets lost in translation when you
hear people say, or if you hear me say, to
actually not be available all the time, because a lot
of us are really, you know, usually willing to shape
shift our schedule all the time because we really want
(09:27):
to hang out with somebody, and we're missing the fact
that I told you guys last year to have a
roster as to oster, and you guys are still obsessing
over one person.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Make it make sense.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Okay, maybe you actually can't stop, but just don't let
it show. Like I know, it's so hard, but this
is where the actual work comes in. You have to
master controlling your emotions and how you feel, because I
promise you you're not going to win that way, or okay,
let me not.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Maybe maybe I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Don't want to use the word win, but you guys
figuratively understand what it is that I'm saying. If you
want to be able to obtain you know, that relationship,
then you cannot always be available because you don't want,
you know, to lose that mystery. The more time you
spend with someone, you're creating a bond with them, and
a lot of that mystery does die down because you
are spending so much time with someone, you're getting to
(10:17):
know them inside and out. And yes, arguably there are
so many different things that you can learn about someone.
You can't learn all of them in a certain time span. However,
have the understanding that people do show you sides to
themselves that they want you to see. And in the
beginning stages of a relationship, it's always going to seem flawless.
And I think that a lot of the time. But
we give credit to Fish for swimming. Oh my god,
(10:39):
he opened the door for me. He's such a gentleman.
He like literally opened the door for me, like when
I was getting out of the car. Like I usually
stop giving credit to Phish for swimming.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I'm gonna just leave that right there.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Embrace the uncertainty. What do I mean by that? Who
cares if he calls yes? That's what I said. Who
cares if he calls? Even if he calls you and
schedules the dane doesn't call you, then who cares? Let
people do what they want to do so you could
see what they.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Would rather do.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
How can you, with a job, a roster, and friends
and hobbies care about whether one person is calling you,
especially if it's a brand new dynamic. How can you
have the time to care about that. That's the thing
that we as women do. We can maintain so many
different things. We are multitaskers. We are so strong, we
(11:24):
are so amazing, and a guy comes into our lives
and we all of a sudden don't know how to
behave We're eliminating all the things, all the passions. We
are just setting everything aside for this individual, when they,
nine times out of ten have not earned the right,
Nor does anyone really reserve the right to enable you
to surrender all of your life to them in a
(11:45):
way where you no longer have a career, You no
longer are doing these things because you're following you know
that person. I think, if anything, the right person that
comes along enables you to maintain your own independence and individuality.
You are not concerned with where this relationship is going. Yes,
I actually said that you are not necessarily concerned because
when you focus so much on where it's going, because
(12:06):
naturally is a woman, that's what we do. How is
this person going to fit into my life? Am I
wasting my time? I don't want to waste my time,
especially in twenty twenty. I don't want waste my time.
I don't feel like having another person in my life.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
And da da da. A lot of this.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Comes from us planning our lives around people who don't
even know if they're gonna call us back the next day.
I'm sorry, but that's really the reality. Please believe me
when I tell you that if there is a destination,
you will know if this relationship is going.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Somewhere, you will know. A guy will tell you.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Because guys don't want to keep the woman of their
dream as a women they want off the market.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
They don't.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
That's why, so many times, so many different instances, we
see guys that will waste a girl's time for X
amount of years, X amount of months, okay, and then
he'll go jump right to the next girl and do
all the great and fabulous things for the next chick.
In a way shorter time span he knew, no matter
how short of a time it took. This is what
I want. This is what I want the relationship to be.
(13:03):
This is where I see the relationship going. You need
to be in your own world and enjoy it. Let
him try and scramble to figure out where you are
when you're gonna pick up the phone, and even if
you will pick up the phone, and be very careful
of these temperamental man babies. Yeah, man babies that start
to ghost you because you didn't answer their call, so
(13:23):
now they want to act mad. Stop stop throwing the tantrum.
That is a data point. Who cares. Don't let that
person's reaction manipulate you now into chasing him.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
To prove that no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I am interested. Okay sorry. First of all, we're adults here.
This is like a this is a basic human psychology
data point. Here where I feel like, Okay, if I
have to be scared of, like not picking up your
call because I'm doing something, you can feel it. It's
an intuitive feeling where you can feel like, Okay, this
person's acting distant because I'm not available all the time,
(13:58):
instead of just understanding that him maybe she just actually
has her own life and this makes me want her more. Instead,
you're like trying to ghost and be all weird because
you want to prove a point of well, I'm upset
that you didn't answer when I don't fall for that,
Please a word for someone.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Don't fall for.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
That when you just met someone.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It is not normal to get all bent out of
shape if you didn't hear from them for the day
or they didn't call to check in. It's just it's
not normal. Let him do whatever he wants to do.
Don't generate behavior expectations in this manner so soon just
log the data mentally. Now that's not to say don't
pay attention to the stuff that he's doing. Balance people,
(14:38):
because sometimes I always feel like I have to defend
the other side because some people just take what you
say and they just take it so literally, and you know,
they just can't differentiate when you're trying to be literal
and when you're not.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
It's just balance people.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Don't try to have these types of expectations, as I've said,
where you're like, oh my god, why do you call
me back?
Speaker 2 (14:56):
I literally don't understand.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
He literally was hitting me up all day yesterday and
like today he's not so like, I don't know. Is
it because like I took three I was to answer
him because I was at work. Is it because I
actually have stuff to do?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
You can't run away something that really really wants you,
someone that really really wants you.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
How many times have we liked.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Not liked a guy and it just did not deter him,
No matter what, No matter how many dms of his
that you have ignored and left on red and he
still has messaged you, it didn't deter him. You can't
deter someone that actually really wants to be with you.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Stop over compensating. Doing too much?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Is doing too much? Literally what I said, A guy
has to earn your devotion.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Earn your commitment. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Not we are earning their commitment. No, no, no, no, he
has to earn our commitment. Let's reframe that now in
twenty twenty, you're gonna earn my commitment.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I'm no longer.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Interested in whether or not I'm proving to you whether
or not I'm worthy of being with No, you're going
to show me that you're worthy of being with me.
That's what's gonna happen here. I know that I'm capable
of being a commitment. I mean, Jesus, it's practically human
nature for woman just saying. He has to earn your time,
He has to earn your affection. So you cannot sustain
interest by doing the most. The peak was reached. There's
(16:14):
nothing else to aspire to want. We've seen all that
we need to see here people, he's done. And sometimes
because this happens too, sometimes he hasn't seen anything. Sometimes
you haven't even slept with him. You just went on
a couple of dates and he disappeared, and you know
what that means. Hey, it wasn't for you, but you
know what's gonna happen. They always come back. So don't
feel inclined to be like hey, just sudden, you know,
(16:37):
I haven't heard from you in like two weeks, so
like what's up with that? Like why did you waste
my time? Like we were literally talking for like a month.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Like why why?
Speaker 2 (16:45):
And why? Like why? No?
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Let people do whatever they want to do. If he
tries to come back into your life then after that,
because they always do.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
The balls in.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Your court now, so you can play things how you
want to play it and let them know that wasn't
cool what you did, okay, and speak up for yourself. However,
if you don't hear a word from that individual, randomly
hitting them up out of the blue to let them
know that they offended you when they know. I'm pretty
sure they know that they've ghosted you, but it wasn't
important for them to give you a heads up, right,
because that's what ghosting is. It's not about hey, just
letting you know I Am not going to be speaking
(17:16):
to you.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
In like about a week from now.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
I'm literally gonna disappear with the face of the earth
and I'm going to resurface again in the next six months.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
They're not going to do that, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
And at the end of the day, like this is
just how dating is in twenty twenty. You have to
play by these rules. So of course, I want to
add there are always exceptions to these rules, but they
are significantly disproportionate to the masses. Where doing the most
and even getting with the guy on the first date
is going to lead to a relationship. I'm sorry, it's
(17:50):
disproportionate to the masses. Say whatever you want to say,
sue me. Is what it is now I'm back to
what I was saying. And for those of you that
get up in arms about ugh, we have to do
tell much to accommodate men.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I beg to defer here.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
If you think about it, when the game is played correctly,
you're not You're not accommodating guys. They're actually accommodating you.
So if some of you feel like this is a
lot of mental gymnastics, which it probably will feel like
because it's a new concept maybe to some of you,
you have to put in the work here a little bit,
just so that you can have the understanding, so that
(18:25):
you don't have to keep putting yourself out there because
more than likely, I mean, you're either doing one or
two things.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
You're either getting played or not. There's no in between here.
You are or you aren't.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You know. So if you're the type of person that thinks, oh,
I'm gonna go the extra mail and cooking you know,
a really nice homemade dinner even though we met last
month and went on two dates, let me tell you something,
that man is going to enjoy that meal, enjoy you
if it gets to that point, and still leave because
(18:58):
it could translate to the guys, Yeah, she's kind of desperate,
Like we're two three days in and she's already cooking
me a home cooked meal. And you could be thinking,
I just want to show him that I'm the wife
type and all this, and it doesn't read the same
to men.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
He didn't do anything to earn being treated like.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
A husband, so so why are you showing him that
you're a wife who gave him this title?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Here, you did what's really in I'm scared.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
And then you have the girls that overshare because they
don't want to play games.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
While they're usually getting played. It's okay.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
And there was a quote I read It wasn't a
book that I read a while back, and it said,
think of a man's psyche like a plant. It needs water,
but it also needs air to breathe. So giving reassurance
is like overwatering a plant.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
It kills it. Think about that.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
So, in conclusion, let the guy miss you. Yes, it's true,
since does make the heart grow fonder. Never overshare, keep
him on his toes. Never compare yourself to other women. Ever,
competing with other women is pointless. You are you, and
you are in your own lane. You are the prize.
If he doesn't like the rules or do what it
(20:16):
takes to get you. Oh well, life goes on. There
are way too many options in the world to be
stuck on one, and men understand that concept. So I
think it's time that we adapt that same concept.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Keep that roster. If you have not seen my video
on how to get a roster, you might.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Want to click that. That will definitely be somewhere on
the screen. With that being said, angels, do not forget
that I love you and God loves you and I'll
see you. Guys.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Give it next video.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
The bond is shallow in the shallo No, that just
reminded me of that, and that had nothing to do
with proving my point, but it had the word shallow
in it.
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