Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of Redded Podcast Stories. Our first story we'll be reading today,
Karen Aunt demands to live with me because she needs
a caretaker. After that, okay, boss, I'll hit my KPIs
And after that, am I the jerk for causing a
scene and leaving a free vacation. Now, for every thumbs
(00:20):
up this video gets one, Karen doesn't get to move
into anyone's house. Oh come on, what if I bring
my xbox? So please smash that like button and subscribe
and turn on notifications for new stories from Reddit every
single day. Karen Aunt demands to live with me because
she needs a caretaker. Growing up, my twenty three female
(00:41):
and who's now forty five female was child free in
the sense that she actively wanted nothing to do with kids,
and she would avoid coming to events where kids would
be there.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
She would tell my brother and I.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
That kids were dirty and scream and annoy everyone until
they learn to act like adults, which I guess isn't wrong,
but still it was hurtful for us to hear that as.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
We were growing up.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
What I found the worst about my aunt was how
she used to talk about my mom, her older sister.
My mom has been single since my dad abandoned us
for his affair partner. I've overheard my aunt commenting that
my mom's selfish for having kids and she got around,
so our dad probably isn't even our real dad, which
is why he left my mom. When I was ten,
(01:22):
I finally told my mom about these comments. She refused
to keep us in the same room as our aunt,
and we've really had no relationship with her. When I
was eleven, my aunt moved from the same neighborhood as
my mom and grandparents to a house out in the
country about two hours away, and I had no real
contact with her for the next seven years. When I
was eighteen, my aunt started trying to re establish a
(01:44):
relationship with me, but I kept my contact with her low.
I've been working for a few years and I've saved
enough to rent my own apartment. This year, my aunt
was hit by a car and has had a whole
slew of health problems. Because of that, she's been needing
to visit the hostpel little frequently and will need to
start physical therapy. Her house is really far from most
(02:05):
health facilities, and because she lives alone, she hasn't got
anybody to take her back and forth every day. She
doesn't have the money to buy a new house in
a more convenient location, and she doesn't want to sell
her current house because it has lots of land for
her dogs and she wants to continue living there when
she gets better. The rest of my family lives in
the city and can access all sorts of health facilities
(02:26):
much easier. My brother lives at college. My grandparents have
moved in with my mom, who's still angry at my
aunt and refuses to talk to her. That leaves me.
Because I was hesitant and not outright rejecting contact with
my aunt, she thinks she still has a chance to
live with me. There's two major issues with this. One,
my aunt has two dogs that she adores, and I
(02:47):
don't want to take care of them while she's still recovering.
And two, I don't really like my aunt and I
don't want our living with me. I'm afraid that a
relationship would cause a divide in the family. I'm also
worried she'll find out things about me and gossip about
it like she did with my mom. Fundamentally, if I
had a closer relationship with my aunt in my childhood,
I might have considered it, but because of her justifying
(03:09):
being cruel by her child freeness, I don't think I'm
going to make this accommodation for her. I told her
as much, and she called me a jerk for abandoning
her when she's vulnerable. My mom and brother support me,
but my grandparents told me to just go along with
it so that we can all stop the fighting.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Am I the jerk not the jerk?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
You should just tell her that people recovering from injuries
are dirty and scream and annoy everybody until they can
take care of themselves again. You reap what you sew, Auntie,
or tell her just like you're child free. I'm jerk free.
I don't want anyone who treats people horribly human or
adult in my home, OPI. There are so many child
(03:51):
free people who seem to treat kids like garbage. One
thing they don't seem to realize is that one day
they'll get old and they'll need help from someone younger,
unless they're in credit wealthy.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I guess the thing is they.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Don't deserve that help. They haven't earned it. Older people
get sick, get dirty, and need more help. It's the
circle of life, and they often rely on the help
of all the kids they cared for to assist them
in their old age. People have understood this for a
long time. Your aunt should have thought about that before
she was so awful to all of you. Seriously, just
(04:22):
tell her no, don't open the door to let someone
like that in your house.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Okay, boss, I'll hit my KPIs.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
This story came from five years ago when I worked
for a small IT MSP company. We had four full
time techs, with the newest tech having about five years
of experience and me being the most seasoned tech with
nearly fifteen years of experience.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Between the four of us, we managed.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
About one thousand pieces and about twenty servers spread out
over about thirty clients. None of us were assigned to
a specific client. We would all take turns grabbing whatever
tickets came in. All of our work was lump suck
or contract work, so we never had to worry about
how long a problem took to fix or how much
it would cost the client. We had an account manager
(05:07):
who handled all of the billing and things with the clients.
It was a dream job for a tech. We got
to show up and do our jobs and not have
to deal with sales or billing or any client drama.
I not only had the most experience, but was also
the most self motivated. I would often come in early
and get started on the tickets that came in after hours,
and I would assist the other texts if they came
(05:29):
across a complex problem. Everyone including the owner, referred to
me as the senior tech, even though that wasn't my title.
After two years of working there, I decided to talk
to the owner about a raise. I brought all kinds
of information to our meeting, showing that I closed the
most tickets and received the most positive feedback from a
survey we sent to our clients.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
He agreed to give me a raise.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
But said he wanted to think about how much to
give me and that he would get back to me.
A few weeks later. He called a company meeting and
announced that he had decided to change some things and
that he would no longer be giving anyone raises. Instead,
he would set up KPIs key performance indicators and the
entire tech team would receive weekly bonuses based on hitting
(06:11):
those numbers. I didn't like this at all, as it
meant my pay was dependent on the performance of everyone
on the team and not just me. I found out
later one of the other techs had also asked for
a raise, so this was the owner's solution to pay
us less. The KPIs were simple enough. If a ticket
came in, we had to acknowledge it within fifteen minutes
(06:32):
to achieve a score of one hundred. If we missed
the fifteen minute window, the score for that ticket was zero.
There were a total of ten things we had to hit,
including how long the ticket was opened before we marked
it as complete.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
If the total score for.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
The week was above ninety, we each received a one
hundred dollars bonus. I saw major problems with this bonus system,
and I shared my concerns with the owner. He got
very annoyed with me and said, just hit the kpisque
the malicious comply vans. We all figured out pretty quickly
how to game the KPI system. We could acknowledge a
(07:05):
ticket in the system, but it didn't check if we
had actually called the client. We would just email and
mark the ticket as reached out to the client. A
big issue is that sometimes a client would put in
a low priority ticket and ask that we schedule it
for some time the following week, but that would make
us miss our KPI, so we would start hounding the
client to schedule it sooner, and if they weren't available,
(07:27):
we would simply close the ticket. We quickly learned to
hit our KPIs and start getting a bonus every week. However,
it caused our customer service to drop, which is exactly
what I had warned the owner of. During the previous
two years, we had never had a complaint about our service,
but now there were multiple complaints every week. The whole
process added a ton of stress to us, as we
(07:48):
all started to fight when someone missed a KPI, and
we all started to work late on Fridays to try
to get in those last few numbers. After two months,
the owner finally realized he had made a mistake, moved
the bonus system without giving us a raise, and asked
us to go back to how things were. At this point,
I was so stressed, I had already started looking for
another job, and we had lost two clients. I was
(08:11):
the first to put in my two weeks notice, but
before I left, the other three texts had all put
in their notices as well. The last I heard, the
company had lost over half its clients and the owner
had to bring in several new texts, paying them over
twenty percent more than I had asked for. In my
rais am I the jerk for causing a scene and
leaving a free vacation. My brother Nate and his wife
(08:34):
Jin invited me and my daughter Mattie, who's ten, to
go on vacation with them and their kids, Laura, who's
twelve and Danny, who's nine. Nate and Jin are extremely
well off. They both have high paying jobs and earn
around three hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year between them.
Mattie and I are middle class. I own a small
house and Mattie goes to a private school. Mattie has
(08:55):
a good life, but it doesn't compare to her cousins.
My brother and Jen rented a house for us and
paid for the rental, all of the food, and all
of the activities. The only thing I paid for was
gas when driving myself and Mattie to the house. I
have to say Nate and I don't get along very well,
but I have a great relationship with Jen, mostly because
of how they are with the kids. Nate tells the
(09:17):
kids they don't have to be nice to anyone, never
encourages them to share their toys, and doesn't discipline as kids.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Jen is the opposite.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
She constantly tells the kids to share with their cousins
and will punish them if they're being rude to the
other kids or adults. Now to the vacation, they rented
a three bedroom house. Nate and Jen had the master bedroom,
I had the second bedroom with a double bed, and
all of the kids were going to share a room
with two bunk beds, four beds in total.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
The first night was pretty rough.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
The kids brought tons of toys but refused to let
Mattie play with them. Jen came in and told them
that before they left, they told them that they'd have
to share their toys, so either they share or she
takes them away. They were a little rude, but most
fine the rest of the night. The next night, Jen
went out to dinner with an old friend and Nate
and I were home with the kids. We were getting
(10:07):
the kids ready for bed. An argument broke out between
them because Laura and Danny decided they don't want to
share with Mattie and told her to.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Sleep on the couch.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I expected Nate to tell them that the bedroom was
for all of the kids, but he told Mattie that
she either has to sleep in my room or on
the couch. I asked if he was serious, and he
said yes, that his kids weren't comfortable sharing with Mattie,
and since he paid for the house, he has a
right to kick Mattie out of the room. I told
Mattie to get her bag and that if she doesn't
have a bed, we're going home. Maybe an hour after
(10:38):
we left, Jen came back and asked why Mattie and
I left. I told her what happened, and she asked
me to come back and promised me that she had
take care of her husband and the kids because she
wants her kids to have a good relationship with their cousins.
I said no, and shortly after we got home, I
got a call from my brother yelling at me for
causing a scene, creating problems between him and his wife,
(10:59):
and being ungrateful for a free vacation. He got our
parents involved and they're a green that it's a free
vacation and I can't be picky. Am I the jerk
for leaving with Maddie, not the jerk. Nate is one
of those parents who wants his kids to win at
all costs. He never figured out that the most important
thing for a parent to remember is to raise decent
(11:20):
human beings. That's what his wife is trying to do.
He's bent on raising a couple of jerks. I feel
sorry for Jen. Your parents are totally wrong. You did
the right thing. Sounds like a miserable free vacation. Am
I the jerk for saying no to a promotion? I'm
newly married and my husband is upset. I'm a software
engineer and my husband works in construction management. I grew
(11:43):
up broke, so honestly, I feel like I'm loaded right now.
I make one hundred twenty thousand dollars a year and
my husband makes eighty thousand a year. I've gone from
counting literal pennies because my budget was that tight to
not having to worry about buying anything that we need.
So at work, when my boss offered me a program
manager position but said that my salary would be reviewed
(12:04):
at the next review cycle, I went and got a
drink with the guy who has that job now and
the guy who had the job before him, the current
guy said he was done out of a raise. He
took the promotion when it was implied that one was
coming and it never came, and the guy before him
he was making less than I am currently in the
role and kept getting his requests for raises rejected. That night,
(12:25):
I told my husband about my day and how I
wasn't sure if I should take the promotion. We talked
a bit, and he thought I should just for my resume.
The next morning, I asked my boss what the salary
for the promotion would be, and he said that it
would be up to HR in the next review cycle.
I had heard that that tends to be the absolute
minimum they can get away with, and honestly, that role
(12:46):
on the job market was valued at one hundred fifty
to one hundred eighty thousand, so I'd be majorly undervalued.
I was starting to think I'd have to be a
sucker to take that offer, so I told my boss
I was grateful to be considered, but I was not
comfort taking on any role until the terms of employment,
including compensation, were more fully defined. He said his hands
(13:06):
were tied. HR wouldn't renegotiate until the next quarter. I
came home and told my husband I declined the promotion,
and he was surprisingly mad about it. He said it
was something we should have talked about instead of me
just going on my own, and that I knew he
didn't agree with me. I said that I knew my job.
The financials weren't looking great and you can't get water
(13:28):
from a stone, and if I took that, I'd be
doubling my workload for nothing. He said I'd have something
for my resume that would let me negotiate a higher
pay elsewhere, since it had opened up other management roles
for me. I said, I liked being an individual contributor.
I wouldn't enjoy management, so that wasn't something I cared about.
He said, it's all about you, isn't it, And he
(13:50):
was upset because we're married now and I was impacting
both of our financial futures since I didn't want a
hard job, and that it was normal to take on
additional responsibilities and then have a salary review. I just
didn't know because I'm too young twenty seven and he's
thirty three, and have never been promoted since I job
hopped too much. I said it was an old school
(14:11):
way of thinking to slave away for free on the hope.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
That you'd be rewarded.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
I'd tried that at my first two jobs, and that's
why I quit. All it does is tell them that
you're cheap and gullible. He called me naive and said
that I was too idealistic. Am I the jerk for
declining the promotion?
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Holy cow? Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm a software engineer and I would hate being a PM.
It's much more work, but it also is a completely
different role. I wouldn't call it a promotion. It's a
different job. Your husband could switch careers and make more
than eighty K. If you're quite high, combined income isn't enough.
The only difference is that you were directly offered this
position rather than seeking it out. It's a nice cherry
(14:53):
on top that it's a crappy offer. Am I the
jerk for telling my mother to buzz off and saying
she doesn't get to decide? Did I do with my
life anymore? Three years ago I learned that my mother
had lied to me my whole life. I found out
my father wasn't my biological father, that my mother had
been married, widowed while pregnant with me, and that she
severed all contact from my biological father's family, met my father,
(15:17):
married him, and they agreed to never tell me the truth.
I only found this out because my maternal grandmother had
me go through some old stuff at her house and
I found photos and documents. I confronted my mother. She
told me it didn't matter and to leave it be.
I confronted her and my father. They told me what
I learned hadn't changed anything and to forget about it.
(15:38):
I demanded that they tell me the truth, so I
got a story. She never said anything bad about my
biological father or his family, only that she felt it
was best to move on and to let my father
be the only father I knew about. She didn't want
him to be my step anything. She didn't want me
to ever feel like I was anything less than his.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
She told me I was.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Never my biological father's baby, that she had loved him,
but he was in the past, he was in the ground,
and his family had no right to stay in my life.
My father told me he wanted me to leave it
there and to not seek out my biological family. I
told them I didn't want anything to do with them again.
We were no contact for two years my choice, I
(16:18):
was able to find my biological father's family. They were
so happy I reached out. They showed me how they
had looked for my mother and for me. My mother's
family admitted she told them and everyone she knew not
to tell them anything about.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Her life and to never share where we were. I
got to know them and they became my family. It
hasn't always been easy.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
They have so much grief that they never got to
know me growing up, and I feel it too, as
well as how robbed I feel that I never got
to know about my biological father. I looked just like him,
and I always wondered why I looked so different from
the rest of my family. I also found out my
father had set money aside for me over the weeks
he knew my mother was pregnant. About a year ago.
(16:59):
Some contact was reinstated between me and my parents. I
haven't forgiven them, and it's not easy to speak to them.
They did learn recently how involved my father's family is
now and how I have my biological relatives around. They
don't like this. My mother decided to ask about the
future my wedding, et cetera, and said I can't have
both there. I told her if she wants to be there,
(17:21):
she'd need to accept that my family will be. She
told me, I'm choosing someone I never knew overloving parents.
She also told me I was her kid. I told
her to buzz off and told her she doesn't get
to decide what I do with my life anymore. She's
still not over what I said, and she called me petulant.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Am I the jerk? Holy?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Wow, you are not the jerk here, but wow? She
denied you access to important family, literally robbing you of
life forming relationships, and now she's still trying to force
you to choose between your families. What on earth is
she afraid of here? I'd seriously be asking what exactly
she has against them. She's being extremely unreasonable. I'm so
(18:02):
so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you've gone through
and are going through.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Op.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
It's more about what she wanted from our lives. She
didn't want the word step to ever cross my mind.
Didn't want a non nuclear family. Knew that my biological
relatives would mean I would always know we weren't that
not the jerk. You don't say how old you are,
but you're obviously old enough that you should have been
told the truth from the moment it was appropriate, and
(18:28):
all the way through growing up. Your mother did you
and your dad's family a terrible disservice by keeping up
this lie. I'm so sorry you missed out on knowing
what you should have known. If your mom insists on
you choosing, simply say that your dad's family will be
at your important events. And if she decides to make
you choose, she's the one who gets left off the
guest list because she had you all to herself growing
(18:50):
up due to her lies. Op I'm twenty one, now
you're the jerk. Honestly, you sound ungrateful as heck. You
grew up with a mom and dad who loved you
and were there for you. I grew up in the system,
bouncing around from foster parents to group homes, so maybe
I'm biased. But then you find out that your biological
(19:10):
father passed before you were born and then decide to
cut contact with your parents over it. You sound like
you have major issues, and the only people I feel
bad for are your parents. You sound exactly like someone
who would have pulled the you're not my real dad
card if you'd known he was your stepdad. So at
least your parents got to have a good life while
you were growing up before you went to all psycho
(19:31):
on them. Am I the jerk for telling my mom
and her husband they had no right to touch my locket?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Background on the lockett?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
When I was five, my dad bought me a lockett
with pictures of him, my mom, my sister, and brother,
both older. When I was seven, my dad and sister
passed in an accident. My lockett became something so treasured
I wore it all the time and didn't care if
it was a formal event or not. When I was eight,
my mom remarried my husband is Jeff. Jeff had a
(20:02):
one year old called Nathan, whose mom was not.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
In the picture.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Mom and Jeff then had two daughters together pretty quickly.
My lockett was something they all knew about because they
had seen me wear it. Mom asked me a couple
of times to add Jeff, Nathan and the girls, and
I told her that I didn't want to. So when
I was sixteen, Mom and Jeff bought me a new
locket with their pictures in it. I never wore it,
but I put it in a jewelry box that I
(20:26):
own there were some comments and tensions that I never
wore the new one. My half sisters were upset about
me not changing which one I wore all the time.
I explained why the original was special, and they told
me how the new one was more special because it
included them. My mom was annoyed at me for how
I handled it, and Jeff complained at me for not
appreciating what they did for me. I'm nineteen now and
(20:49):
I live in a small apartment my brother lives with
his girlfriend. A couple of weeks ago, we stayed at
my brother's house and when I woke up that morning,
my lockett had been moved. I don't wear it to
bed in case.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
BREAKS went on.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
About my day and that weekend. When I got home
a couple of days later, I wanted to look at
the photos inside and noticed they had taken out my
dad's photo and tried to squeeze in Jeff, Nathan and
the girls. I was angry. I called mom and asked
her if she had seen my locket, and she told
me I drove them to do what they did because
I was selfish and inconsiderate and broke their hearts. For
(21:23):
the last three years, by showing which locket I favored
and which family I favored as well. She hung up
on me. I tried to calm down and went over
to their house, Mom and Jeff's, and I told them
they had no right to touch my locket. Jeff told
me they had every right to show a more accurate
representation of my family and that I was hurting Nathan
and the girls by wearing something that didn't include them.
(21:45):
When I had something that did, I lost it. I
told them they did not have that right and they
do not get to tell me who I carry around
in my locket or not. I told him he would
never be deserving of a spot, told Mom she had
lost her spot, and then I left, saying they needed
to stay away from me. My brother couldn't believe they
did it, sided with me, told Mom to accept we
(22:06):
didn't feel the way she wanted us to feel. Mom
and Jeff said I was a jerk. Mom said, since
dad bought it while they were married, she also bought
it and had every right to interfere with it.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Here Eta just wanted to add that my original locket
is set up where you can add little sections to
it and add more photos. I just never chose to
do that because I wanted it for the people I
always considered my core family, or the people I was
closest to. Part of me wants to remove mom now
since this happened, not the jerk cut them off. No
(22:38):
one gets to decide who's in that locket.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
It was a gift.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Am I the jerk for not upgrading a family and
embarrassing my assistant manager? I thirty Mail lost my job
during lockdown. As an assistant manager, I had to dip
into my savings to survive. When I was on my
last leg, a childhood friend, James twenty nine Mail, reached
out and he he offered me a place to stay.
He's now the richest person I know personally. As it
(23:05):
turned out, he also had a good job opportunity for me.
The terms were very generous. When I was eighteen, I
helped him out a little and he said this was
his opportunity to repay me. I met him while working
in his father's hotel. Unfortunately they lost it, so James
bought a small luxury hotel and he hired me as
a general manager. I also get a small cut of
(23:26):
the profits I was grateful for the job and felt
guilty about the additional benefit, but he insisted on it.
He's not interested in running the place and he wanted
someone he could trust, so I pretty much have the
final say in any matter. We hired an assistant manager
to help me run the place, Bella, she's in her thirties,
is more experienced than me, but she had to settle
(23:46):
for the assistant manager position. This is the reason for
providing the background. If we go by seniority, she should
be the GM and I should be the AM. Apart
from the occasional haughty attitude, I don't have much trouble
from her. A couple of days ago, a family checked in,
two adults and two kids. They were loud and rude.
When a bell hop stumbled, they laughed at him and
(24:07):
scalded him for dropping their luggage. So not a good
first impression. Meanwhile, two couples who were clearly on vacation
together and waiting to check in, helped the staff out
before we could. The family was rude to them. Also,
yesterday I got a call from my assistant manager asking
if she could upgrade someone to our gold suite. We
have five suites. I always keep our best one in
(24:29):
reserve for James or his friends, and if there is
a vacancy in any of the other four. We sometimes
freely upgrade when someone asks, only I can do it.
When I got to the reception, it was the husband
asking for an upgrade. When my assistant manager is speaking
to me, I could see the rest of the staff
were uncomfortable. Fortunately, I saw the two couples from before
coming back for the day, so I told the husband
(24:52):
I already had upgraded someone else and politely excused myself
and talked to the other couples in private and offered
them the upgrade. Two reasons for that. First, the couples
are staying for two more nights while the family is
staying for five more. Second, their attitude. Later, when my
assistant manager came to know of it, she confronted me.
She said she had already promised them the upgrade, and
(25:14):
I embarrassed her. She demanded me to upgrade the family
to our best suite as compensation. I said no and
politely pointed out only I have the power to upgrade.
When it came to the suites, she started blabbering about
experience and how I'm ruining the hotel's reputation and called
me a jerk. She tried to complain to James, but
after a quick phone call with me, he brushed her off.
(25:36):
So am I the jerk? Edit one? If there are
rooms available, any of my staff can ask for my
approval to upgrade a guest. I rarely deny them. They
generally have good reasons for asking. I encourage this because
it makes my staff feel appreciated, and they're the ones
who know more about the guests than me, as they
interact with them more than I do. I need to
(25:56):
deal with a lot of things like suppliers, et cetera.
As for the gunning for my position, she's barking up
the wrong tree. I own part ten percent of the hotel.
I didn't ask for it, but James did it anyway,
so doing me over is impossible unless I massively mess up.
I realized I didn't give the reason my assistant manager
(26:16):
gave me word count limit. Apparently, the guests complain about
the services and also about noise during the night. That
was why she wanted to upgrade them, to prove that
we're the best. That explanation didn't sit well with me,
so I asked my staff why they were uncomfortable. Every receptionist,
floor manager, et cetera. Gets some leeway when dealing with
guests within limit. They can give discounts or free meals.
(26:40):
They don't need approval for little things, as you can guess.
Hire the position, hire the limit. From what I gathered,
this family is always complaining and kept asking to speak
to the manager. My assistant manager kept giving them free meals,
et cetera. But instead of using her code, she is
ordering the staff member who brought the problem to her
to use their code. As for why I didn't know
(27:01):
about this, my assistant manager should be the one informing
me about these problems, so I will probably let her go.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
And promote one of the good ones.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
I still don't know what's going on with this particular family,
and my assistant manager not the jerk. You are the boss,
not her, she said, she already promised them the upgrade,
plus she demanded you upgrade the family. This is where
you need to have a sit down with your employee.
Document this discussion and put it in her personal file
to show that you don't want this happening again. You
(27:30):
make that decision, not her. Start acting like the general manager.
You are the background information is irrelevant. You're the general manager,
she's the assistant manager. Also, be ready to replace her.
Start interviewing for additional check in person as a former
department manager. Never stop feeding the beast, not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
But at the same.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Time, if this story had been written from her perspective,
everyone here would be praising her and telling her what
a jerk you are. They'd be calling you a nepotism
higher and rooting for her to take your job from you.
She'd make you sound like a total tool who doesn't
do any work and just wants to control everyone. Am
I the jerk for buying my boyfriend's daughter a phone?
(28:11):
I thirty two, female, have been dating my boyfriend for
a few months now. Jacob male, thirty five, is a
widower and has a twelve year old daughter, Katie. I've
only met Katie recently, but she's a lovely girl, well behaved, polite,
does well in school, absolute joy to be around. She
had a birthday yesterday and Jacob organized.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
A party for her.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Her grandparents were there as well as a few of
her friends. A week before the party, a package with
Katie's gift arrived. Jacob confessed to me what it was.
Katie had been begging for a phone for ages, and
Jacob bought her a cheap twenty pound phone, you know,
the really basic ones, and he ordered the box for
an iPhone. I think you all know where this is going.
(28:53):
I asked him if he was going to buy her
an iPhone, and he said that it was a prank
and he's got some books for her. She loves reading,
but she will get that cheap phone and that's it,
and the prank will be funny. I hated the idea.
I hate these pranks. It wasn't my place.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
I barely know.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Katy, but I could see that she'd be hurt, and
I knew that she'd be devastated, so I bought her
an older iPhone model refurbished as a gift. When her
birthday came, she was devastated. You could tell. She politely
accepted the old phone and didn't make a scene, but
was crying in the bathroom after Jacob thought it was
so funny and her friends mocked her. I calmed her
(29:31):
down and asked her to come downstairs as there was
one more present waiting for her. When she got her phone,
she was so happy, even though it wasn't the newest
or brand new. She was elated and the humiliation long forgotten.
But Jacob was fuming. Told me I was a jerk
for undermining his authority and I had no right to
spoil Katy. She spoiled enough. I thought I was doing
(29:52):
the right thing. But I can understand where he's coming from.
I barely entered her life and it may seem like
I'm trying to bug her affection, which I'm not. He's
so angry with me.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
If I was the jerk, I might have made Katie happy,
but I hurt him. I'm conflicted. Was I the jerk
here at it? I did mention it to him and
told him how awful it would be, but he told
me it would be funny and to relax, and that
I was no fun Basically, he wouldn't listen. Not the jerk,
but your taste in men is questionable. Cruelly pranking her
(30:24):
in front of her friends on her birthday indicates that
he's always going to be a jerk. Am I the
jerk for telling my brother in law that he wouldn't
be moving with us to the new house. My wife
and I decided to look for a bigger home last
month and sell the one that we live in. She
told me she's finally ready to have more kids and
want at least two more. We currently live in a
three bedroom house with two bathrooms. We have a room,
(30:47):
my daughter has one, and my brother in law stays
in one. Me and him have had our differences in
the past, but we're good now. Last week we went
to view a home that looked promising. My brother in
law asked if he could tag along to see and
I said sure. The house was beautiful, and while we're there,
he commented that he would like one of the rooms
on the opposite side of the house. I didn't say
(31:09):
anything at that moment, but when we got back in
the car, he commented again that he wanted that certain room.
I straight up told him when the time came to
switch houses, he most likely isn't going with us.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
He looked surprised, and.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Before he could say anything, my wife looked at me
and asked why he wouldn't be coming with us. I
told her she wanted more kids and the only reason
we're moving is to have more space for another kid.
She said the kids could share rooms. I told her
it wouldn't be fair to our daughter to sleep in
a room with a baby that is definitely going to cry.
She turned around and told her brother that she would
(31:41):
work something out and that he's coming with us. I
got upset and told her brother that he wouldn't because
while I did agree to let him live with us,
it was not permanent. It's not the life I pictured
living that he would understand once he gets married and
has kids. My wife is upset and is firm on
her brother coming with us and told me I'm selfish
and inconsiderative people. I did start to feel like a
(32:03):
jerk after I thought about it.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Stop the house hunting? No more visits to houses. Don't
even look at ones that she finds. You have a
much larger problem to solve. You're done with the living
brother in law. Time for the bird to fly. Does
your wife expect him to live with you forever?
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
If this is a deal breaker for you, stand your
ground and work this out. My significant other and I
have a rule for something like this. It takes two
yeses for a yes and one no for a no.
Support our channel by joining as a member today and
we'll give you a shout out in our next video,
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Speaker 2 (32:41):
You won't believe what Karen does in that one