Karen USES ME for Microwave Dinners... GETS TAUGHT A LESSON! - Reddit Stories - Reddit Stories Podcast - Mr. Redder

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of Reddit podcast Stories. Our first story we'll be reading today,
Karen keeps eating my microwave dinners and I've had enough.
After that, nanny bought books for my daughter and demands
that I pay her for them. And after that, daughter
keeps using do not Disturb on her phone to ignore us. Now,

(00:21):
for every thumbs up, this video gets one, Karen does
not get to eat anyone's microwave dinners. But I heard
we had kids cuisine, you know, that good one with
the brownie that has sprinkles on it. So please smash
that like button and subscribe and turn on notifications for
news stories from Ready. Every single day, Karen keeps eating
my microwave dinners and I've had enough. About six weeks ago,

(00:44):
I twenty one female, moved in with my friend John,
who's twenty two male. John and I have been very
good friends for almost two years now. After I befriended
him at work six months ago, he met this girl, Kat,
who's nineteen. He told me about her the day after
he matched with her on a dating app and took
me to her workplace to meet her. She seemed very lovely,
and I was so happy for him. Since then, John

(01:06):
is always inviting her to every friend outing, so I
got to know her. We have lots in common, and
for John's sake, I wanted to be your friend. However,
I think that in the nicest way possible, she's a
bit rude. She does art, and half the time John
compliments her work, she says, you hate it, don't you?
Or times we hang out with other friends, we've had

(01:27):
to go home early as she was bored and John
was our ride home. She hasn't done anything to me personally,
but I just don't like her much. I'm happy John
has found someone who he cares for, but having to
stand by and watch how she acts sometimes rubs me
the wrong way. Here's where the issue comes in. Yesterday,
John and I were at the supermarket to do our
food shop. Normally, we would buy our food for the

(01:49):
week and maybe a couple of simple or frozen meals
to say for Sunday. However, Kat has been coming over
for dinners a few times a week and she has
a very limited diet. She refused to eat anything other
than fast food or simple or frozen meals. She likely
has her reasons for eating specific food and in case
it's due to an ed or something similar. I don't

(02:10):
want to make things hard for her or pry into
something that isn't my business. The time where it became
an issue for me is how John has now wanted
to buy backup meals for her in case she doesn't
like what we're cooking. This would make sense, as before
she has been eating stuff that was part of our
weekly meal plan. The problem is John wants me to
financially contribute to these extra meals for her. When I

(02:32):
spoke to John about this and said, how I'm not
happy paying half for her meals. Our weekly shop cost
is just split in half as we both eat everything,
he got quite agitated. He called me selfish for not
wanting to help her just to save money. I know
frozen meals aren't the most expensive thing in the world,
but John is in a much better financial situation than
I am, and while I can pay my share of

(02:54):
the bills and occasionally have outings with my friends, I
don't want to be dishing out extra money for meals
for a girl I have no real connection to, as
these small amounts do add up in my eyes. If
Kat doesn't like what we're cooking. She could come over
on a different day, or John could buy backup meals
for her out of his own pocket. I feel like
a jerk, but I don't think I should be paying

(03:14):
for an extra person's food. If my boyfriend had a
similar situation to Kat, I'd see it as my responsibility
to provide for him and his diet, and I'd never
expect John to pay. Am I the jerk for thinking
this way? Do any of you have any advice? Not
the jerk, but it's time to take a financial and
social step back from John as he navigates his new relationship.

(03:36):
He can't expect you to help finance the fact that
his girlfriend eats like a kid and needs backup meals.
That's their expense alone, and perhaps separate shopping is now
in order as you two no longer have the same
joint priorities. On the flip side, I also wouldn't continue
to rely on John as a ride if you constantly
want to stay out with friends later. It honestly sounds

(03:56):
like your life paths are just splitting at this time,
and it's best to acknowledge that and adjust expectations of
each other accordingly Before bitterness sets in. I'd also get
ahead of any rent or living concerns sooner rather than later.
If she's sticking around, it may be time to start
planning and exit strategy. Nanny bought books for my daughter
and expects me to pay her for them. My daughter,

(04:18):
Ruby is twelve. Recently, she's gotten into the original Star
Trek show as well as the next generation. Ruby is
also a big reader and has started to collect a
few of the old Star Trek books that she finds
and used bookstores and thrift stores. These books usually cost
anywhere from fifty cents to a couple of dollars. My nanny, Tessa,
who's twenty two, hangs out with Ruby most days after

(04:40):
she gets out of school. Tessa has been our nanny
for over a year now, and she and Ruby get
along grade. Tessa is big into thrifting and will often
keep an eye out for the books that Ruby wants.
This is not typically a problem, and Ruby always pays
Tessa back for the books using her allowance. The problem
occurred when Tessa went on a family vacation. Now we

(05:00):
apparently she went thrifting during this trip found some books
for Ruby. She texted Ruby asking her if she wanted
the books, and Ruby said yes. Well, Tessa returned yesterday
with a stack of about thirty five books and told
Ruby they cost fifty dollars. Ruby doesn't have this much money,
and told Tessa. Tessa then asked me if I would
cover the cost. I said no, as Tessa had never

(05:23):
even asked me about buying Ruby the books, nor was
I aware of the conversation between the two of them.
Tessa got upset and I asked Ruby to show me
the text, which made no mention of price or even
the amount of books she was buying. Tessa only said
that she found some books for Ruby. Ruby is on
the spectrum and does not read between the lines. You

(05:44):
have to be very literal with her. Previously, Tessa has
never bought Ruby more than one or two books at
a time, so I told her that she should have
clarified with Ruby regarding the amount or double checked with
me before purchasing, and that I would not be paying
the fifty dollars. Tessa said she could not return the
books because they came from the thrift store. I stood
firm in my decision and reiterated that she should have

(06:06):
asked me first. Tessa left and Ruby is very upset.
I know Tessa as a student and does not have
a ton of money, So am I the jerk for
not paying Tessa for the books? Edit? Because some people
are asking, I am a single parent to Ruby, and
while fifty dollars will not make or break the bank,
it is definitely an unexpected expense. I provide Tessa with

(06:27):
an extra amount of money each month to spend on
whatever she wants to do with Ruby, movies, the mall,
et cetera. If she wanted to spend this fund on
books for Ruby, that would have been totally fine, but
she had already used it up. Edit too. I definitely
didn't expect this post to blow up overnight, so I'm
going to add a bit more context for those of
you who are asking, how can I afford a nanny

(06:48):
for Ruby and still have fifty dollars be a large
unexpected expense. I do not pay for Tessa's services. Because
Ruby is on the spectrum, she is entitled to benefits
from our state, including care. The agency I work with
pays Tessa. I'm not involved in that process at all. Update.
I appreciate everyone's input. I've seen a few comments hinting
to me about the fact that I don't support my

(07:09):
daughter's reading habit. Please note this is definitely not the case.
We're both big readers and frequent patrons of our local library.
I'm always supportive of Ruby getting new books. I talked
to Tessa and told her that I appreciate her for
thinking of Ruby, apologized for the misunderstanding, and I have
paid her for the books. We had a chat about
expectations in the future, and I don't think this will

(07:30):
happen again. I've also talked to Ruby and we agreed
that I would hold onto the books and she would
pay me for them as she wishes. It's important to
me that Ruby learns how to handle her finances appropriately,
and we've decided that she will get two new books
every week. She reads very quickly. After reading through your
perspectives on the matter, I agree that it is better
in the long run to lose the money and salvage

(07:52):
the relationship between the three of us, and had not
considered all the implications of doing otherwise. Lissen learned sometimes
it's better salvage an important relationship than to be right
pay for the books. Let Tessa know that you can't
do so in the future, though without talking about it.
Tell her how much you appreciate her thoughtfulness now and always.

(08:12):
Daughter keeps using do not Disturb on her phone to
ignore us. My daughter, who's sixteen, has her phone on
do not Disturb all the time. At first, it wasn't
an issue, since she would still answer my texts and
calls whenever she is out at practice. For the past
few weeks, she stopped answering my texts and calls and
she wouldn't receive them. Since I'd ask her why she

(08:33):
wasn't answering and she had claimed that she didn't get them.
I'm not stupid. Her phone is on do not disturb
and none of my texts and calls are going through.
I'd ask my other daughters to see if they can
reach out to her whenever she is out, just to
ask her what time she might be home. No answers.
My oldest, who's twenty two, would try to call, text, FaceTime,

(08:53):
you name it in order to ask her when she
might be home. Over the weekend, my daughter had to
attend an event at school and when I came to
pick her up, she went mia and wasn't answering any
of my texts. And calls since again that do not
disturb feature was on. I started to get frustrated over it,
so when my daughter finally entered the car, I told
her that she needs to start answering my calls and

(09:14):
texts and she had no reason to ignore me when
she knew I was going to be picking her up.
My daughter gave me the excuse of oh, I didn't
see it. Again. My frustration turned into anger, so I
start yelling at her and said, none of us are
able to easily get a hold of you. Something that
normally takes two minutes takes twenty or more. Since we
can't seem to get you to answer the phone. Your

(09:36):
father and I have been worried sick whenever you don't
answer the phone. I then told her she has two choices.
Either she removes the do not disturb on her phone
or it gets taken away for a week. My daughter
rolls her eyes and said it isn't fair for her
to not be allowed to have the do not disturb
feature on. I said she needs to start answering her phone,
or at the very least call us back right away.

(09:59):
I said if she doesn't comply, her phone will be
taken away. She begged me not to take her phone,
so I said she needs to remove the do not
disturb feature. She refused once again. When we got home,
I told her, if she doesn't want her phone to
be taken away, she needs to remove the do not
disturb feature. After some back and forth, my daughter removes
the feature right in front of me before running to

(10:20):
her room in tears. Now before anyone thinks otherwise, I
did allow her to have the phone on do not
disturb as long as she answers our calls and texts.
We'd have to call her more than once to get
a hold of her, but she is completely unreachable. I
think I was too harsh, but I was at my
wits end. Am I the jerk at it? Some of
you are thinking that I'm spamming my daughter with phone

(10:42):
calls and texts while she's at school. I do not
message her during school hours. The issue was taking place
after school or on the weekends. My daughter most of
the time, does not tell anyone where she's going, doesn't
ask for permission when she wants to go out with friends,
and would sneak out of the house every time her
father and I are out. None of my other kids
would have any knowledge of where she went, and they'd

(11:03):
even asked her, but she wouldn't answer her phone. Sometimes
my son will ask her if she could buy him
something for McDonald's, or if they can go to Target together.
We did speak to her before and said she can
keep her phone on, do not disturb, and we would
never call or text while she's in class. Edit two.
My daughter has also been lying to us about where
she'd go. She'd ask the bar of the car to

(11:24):
go get food, but would come home two hours later.
I'd call her after forty five minutes, but the phone
would go straight to voicemail. She normally does tell us
if she's going to class or practice, but whenever she
goes out outside of those times, she doesn't tell us.
She won't answer her phone. It's like she's hiding. Edit three.
Some are suggesting that I take the car keys away.

(11:44):
The problem with that is if there's a car available,
she'll take it. She's taken my oldest daughter's car a
few times, and when she'd ask where she's going, she
would say, none of your business. My oldest hid the
car keys from her and it would be met with manipulation.
And my daughter crying and screaming. Edit for as stated
in the first edit, we do not text or call

(12:05):
our daughter during school. My daughter takes the car when
my husband and I are not here. If there's no
car available, she won't go. My daughter is on spring
break this week, and I've spoken to her this morning
and I've taken her car keys. She will not have
it back for a long time, is all I'm going
to say. Not until my husband and I are able
to trust her again. My husband and I will have

(12:26):
a serious sit down with her when he gets off
from work this afternoon. Not the jerk. A teenager has
the phone to be contacted. If she can't use it
for its intended function, she doesn't need it. The do
not disturb function can be set up such that a
priority contact will go right through it. She's choosing not to.
Not the jerk. As a parent, this is infuriating. My

(12:48):
kids used to do it. There are situations where the
do not disturb function is perfectly acceptable and it has
its place, But you're paying the bill for that phone.
She has a phone out of your kindness as a parent,
and she has no right to have a phone. You
have every right to insist she takes it off do
not Disturb edit. Wow, so many you're the jerks. Parents
get phones for their kid to have some independence and

(13:10):
to connect to the world. This parent was not overbearing
and spamming the kid with phone calls. When a parent
needs to reach their kid, they should be able to
reach them if they miss a text or a call.
It's understandable it happens. This kid was never answering, repeat never.
The price the kid pays to have the phone is
simply be accessible. They get all the benefits of being

(13:30):
connected to the entire world, their friends, their entire family,
the internet, social media apps, games, all for the low
price of zero dollars and responding to mom and dad
when they call her text totally fair. You're the jerk.
You have a teenager who's hiding something from you, sneaking out,
stealing cars, and you're focused on her, not answering the phone.

(13:52):
I'm all for teenage independence, but this is way too far.
Sort out your kid. I'm going against the grain, but
you're not for forcing her to turn off to do
not disturb feature on her phone, but for letting her
think the way that she's acting is okay. Your sixteen
year old daughter doesn't think it's necessary to let you
guys know where she's going. She sneaks out of the
house any given chance, and she steals people's cars. She's

(14:15):
not borrowing someone's car, she's stealing, and you're teaching her
that she can get away with it. You're threatening her
with taking her phone away. It should have been taken
away a long time ago. You say you can't take
the car keys away from her because she'll just steal
whoever else's car is there, so you shouldn't even bother
coming up with a solution. You're raising a kid that's
going to be horrendous to deal with in the real world,

(14:37):
someone who doesn't respect boundaries and can't follow rules. This
is far beyond the scope of Reddit. She might need
to see a therapist, But in reality, it sounds like
you guys aren't enforcing boundaries and your daughter has realized
she can step all over you. Some kids need a
strict parent, and your daughter sounds like one of them.
Kids nowadays are becoming a horror to deal with, especially

(14:57):
in schools, because parents like you allow them to run
the household. Put your foot down. She's your kid and
you're the parent. Stop letting her put herself at risk
because one day she's going to make a mistake she
can't come back from. Am I the jerk for giving
away an expensive KitchenAid stand mixer my dad got me
for my birthday that I thought looked extremely ugly. Background

(15:19):
For my twenty fourth birthday, my dad got me a
gray metal KitchenAid stand mixer for my apartment. It was
about seven hundred dollars I think. However, I did not
ask for this, and honestly I hate the color as
it doesn't match anything in my place and also it's
too big. I gave it to my friend, who liked
it and was moving to a different state. My boyfriend
then got me a cute black stand mixer that fits

(15:42):
into my apartment a lot better. So that's what I have.
My dad was over last night and he noticed that
the gray stand mixer was gone and replaced by the
black one. He asked where it was, and I told
him the truth, namely that I thought the gray one
was ugly, so I gave it to my friend and
my boyfriend got me the black one instead. My dad
was shocked and said the gray stand mixer had cost

(16:03):
a lot and that he thought I would have liked it,
so that's why he gave it to me as a present.
Maybe here's where I'm the jerk. I said, if he
would have been more observant, he would have known that
I absolutely hate the color gray. It's my least favorite color.
And everyone in my life who knows me knows that
I honestly wasn't trying to be rude. I was just
stating a fact. But my mom called me today and

(16:24):
told me I really hurt my dad's feelings and I
need to apologize for throwing away a thoughtful birthday gift
my dad had put a lot of money and thought
into I don't think that's necessary. I think after my
dad gave me the stand mixer, it became mine and
I could do anything with it. And I didn't throw
it away. I gave it to a friend. Am I
the jerk? Not the jerk. Once you've given someone a gift,

(16:48):
they don't get to claim ownership of that item anymore.
A gift is given away, and that's kind of it.
It's totally up to the receiver what they then do
with it, or at least that's how I treat gifts
once it's gone from my responsibility of getting it to
its receiver. Then that's it. My job is done and
I don't care what happens to it. The money is
gone from my pocket and I move on. Whether someone

(17:08):
likes my gift or not, I don't really care. Like
I try to make them as thoughtful as possible, but
ultimately I did my best, and that will have to do.
Gifts aren't meant to be a way to control someone
else or their actions. Gifts are meant to be gifted
and enjoyed if possible. Sometimes the gifts we receive aren't
that great, and we regift them or sell them or
ask to get the monetary value of the gift, and

(17:29):
it's a gift receipt. I wonder if this whole thing
has a lot less to do with the mixer itself
and more to do with the fact that your dad
maybe doesn't know anything about you or your living situation,
or maybe doesn't listen to you when you talk about
these things. Like with a high value item like that,
I would normally ask the person their favorite color or needs,
or ask them to pick the one that they want,
because everyone has different needs, esthetics, preferences, and availability. It's

(17:53):
an awkward situation because it is a high value item
and tons of people, including myself, would love to have one. Ultimately,
it's gone to a good home. OP has a mixer
they like, and the dad still gave a very nice gift,
and that effort doesn't mean nothing just because OP doesn't
like it. I'm sure the effort put in is appreciated.
I guess OP is just kind of fed up with

(18:14):
the thoughtlessness of their dad not even asking them what
they want, which is kind of valid because furnishing a
home is very much a personal thing. It's a part
of your personal space, so I get where OP is
coming from. I don't think the dad is a jerk either.
I just think everyone here has to communicate more effectively.
OP would be better to let their dad know that
the mixer wasn't for them, but they appreciate the effort.

(18:36):
Am I the jerk for not doing anything host to
see for my in law's visit given I'm three weeks postpartum.
My husband's family lives on the other side of the country.
We had our first kid at the height of lockdown,
so my husband's parents, sister and her family did not
meet him in person until his first birthday. I just
delivered our second two weeks ago, and my husband's family,

(18:57):
four adults and three kids, asked if they could all
visit spring break to see the baby, which is the
end of next week. I said okay, although the seven
of them would be staying at an airbnb, I know
they will be spending all day every day at our
home to see the kids. I told my husband to
make sure they know we will be ordering in every
meal and beyond eggs and cereal and some drinks and

(19:18):
snacks like chips and fruit. I wasn't planning to get
much else. I'm also tired and up with the baby
all night, and I'm exhausted at the very thought of
seven people being in my house every day for a
week while I'm trying to nurse and rest and manage
a toddler's big emotions around a new sibling. His response was, well,
we're going to need X and Y for my parents

(19:39):
and X for the kids, and I was thinking one
day I can make ex and he started describing needing
to get the best bread and the best cheese, all
of which involves trips to numerous stores. He even said
he was going to ask my dad, who occasionally buys
us some specialty grocery stuff that I ask for and
drops it off to pick up a bunch of items

(19:59):
for them. At this point, I got really mad. I said,
I'm not trying to go above and beyond here and
play host while I'm three weeks postpartum. They can eat
this stuff from the grocery store, even if it's not
the best and deal for five days. He told me,
I sound spiteful. I was also frustrated because when his
family visits, my husband checks out and just plays with

(20:20):
his nephews and chats for hours with his brother in law,
and I know I'm going to be the one setting
out snacks, tidying up, etc. He seems more concerned with
his family having fun, the visit being a good time,
and with them being comfortable than with me getting what
I need. I feel like it doesn't matter what I
ask for. He isn't going to have my back, so
I have to protect myself and my own well being.

(20:43):
We got into a big fight about it. I yelled
at him, and I'm not really talking to him right now.
They show up next week and I'm feeling a lot
of anger and resentment about it. So am I the
jerk for not lifting a finger for my visitors. Not
the jerk. OMG, he should be helping you, not the jerk.

(21:03):
Tell him division of labor is that you take care
of the baby and he takes care of the house
and guests. If he refuses, offer to switch. He can
do all the feeding and changing and loose sleep every night. No,
then he can take care of the house and the guests,
not the jerk. If your husband wants to have his
family entertained, then he has to entertain them. That means

(21:23):
cooking for them, serving them, and cleaning up after them.
Am I the jerk for kicking my son out for
how he treated his mom? I fifty three female and
my wife Abby, who's fifty female, have been together for
over thirty years and married for twenty. We adopted our
son Jack when he was a toddler after his parents
had passed. He's now twenty. Bringing him up wasn't without

(21:45):
his difficulties, but in all he was a good kid,
good grades, good judgment, didn't cause trouble on purpose. He
always loved spending time with us, watching TV with us,
and in his teen years he even began cooking with
us and became somewhat of a Gordon Ramsey. I noticed
things changed a bit after we adopted our daughter at
the age of seven, Sam, he was fifteen. She was

(22:07):
a troubled kid, bounced around a lot in the foster
care system for a while. He loved her and really
enjoyed being around her and showing her that this house
was safe, which was basically all the things my wife
and I were trying to do. I wanted to be
clear that we never asked him to be a parent.
That was our job. He always offered to do things
with her and would often choose to be around her

(22:27):
rather than his friends. He never had to babysit her,
but he did on occasion during small emergencies. He seemed
slightly annoyed with her, but always told us that it
was just a bit frustrating to deal with her sometimes
For info. When I say Sam was troubled, I mean
she had hide food, hide herself, and shut down a lot.
There was no violence or anger. We still deal with

(22:48):
the echoes of some of this today. We do have
her in therapy to this day, and she's much better.
Soon after his nineteenth birthday, he met a girl who
was eighteen at the time, and his personality began to change.
He grew resentful of us, of Sam. He'd make these
weird or hostile comments towards Abby or me, and occasionally
I'd catch him telling Sam about her biological family. I'd

(23:10):
always try to shut it down, but he'd make some
excuse and go home when I tried to talk to him.
I don't want Sam getting into contact with her family.
It's a toxic family that was no good and very dangerous.
Earlier today, me and the wife were speaking to him
about his behavior, and he said that his girlfriend told
us that we kept him from his family on purpose

(23:30):
during his entire upbringing, and that adoption was a bad
experience that tears families apart. This stunned us, since we
were always as transparent as we could be. What remained
of his family didn't want to talk to him, and
that's why we adopted him. My wife tried to explain
that we never tried to do that. He called her
a lying jerk and told her to shut up and
that we are baby snatchers. Immediately, I cut in and

(23:53):
told him to leave and not come back unless it's
to apologize. He left, saying that he hoped One day,
Sam wisened up to us, lying about her family as well,
that we were awful for ripping her away from her
real family. I don't understand his logic, but he was
clearly upset at us for what we did. I wish
I hadn't kicked him out so we could have talked
it through. But he was just throwing mistreatment to us,

(24:15):
the ones who actually cared for him for most of
his life, and I couldn't watch it. Am I the jerk? Nope,
not the jerk. It sounds like you've been saying and
doing all the right things where both kids are concerned. Also,
by age twenty, he should have much better control over
his actions and words. He had no right to talk
to you like this. By the age of six, I

(24:35):
knew better than to talk to my parents that way.
I don't think you should backtrack at all on the ultimatum.
If he gets in touch, you can be relieved or happy,
et cetera, but stay firm on your rule. He still
has to apologize, and it has to be heartfilled, no
throwaway stuff like all right, all right, I'm sorry. He
needs to know why he's sorry, and the apology should
reflect this. Also, something else might be going on with him.

(24:59):
Not an excit, but maybe an explanation. Am I the
jerk for telling my daughter she can't move one thousand
miles away to live with her girlfriend. I forty six female,
am the mother to two wonderful kids, Andrew, who's sixteen,
and Nichole, who's twenty one. Nichole was very bright as
a kid and excelled in her classes, and she headed

(25:19):
into college with a plan to get a master's. At
least I never had to worry about her doing well
or hitting milestones, But the last few years have been
very surprising. She became a bit withdrawn in her teen years,
more so than I realized until now, And after her
first year of college, she suddenly moved out from a
relative's home and got her own apartment. Then, after her
second year of college, last May, she told me and

(25:42):
her father, who's fifty eight, that she was dropping out
and might return in a year, but wasn't sure, and
that she was incredibly stressed and depressed and had been
for years. It felt like it was coming out of nowhere.
Last fall, she got a full time job and started
talking about how she was happy and finally in a
good routine and that she loved working. I was glad

(26:02):
things were at least going well for her now, but
still hoping she'd returned to college soon. One of the
biggest recent bombshells she dropped on me, though it was
a month ago, when I drove to visit her. We
went out for lunch and we started talking about this friend,
twenty five female of hers. Eventually, my daughter admitted to
me that she and this girl had been dating since
January and that she flew to meet her without even

(26:24):
telling me or her father. Mind you, she flew over
one thousand miles to see this girl that she had
never even met and had only called and video chatted
with for a few months. I was shocked and angry,
but all I did was gently scold her for not
telling me, and that I'm glad she's okay and that
she had a good time with her girlfriend. I'm very
new to this whole thing with my daughter, but I'm

(26:45):
willing to support her because I love her. The problem
now is that she told me earlier this week that
she intends to move within the next year and a half.
She says it may be sooner rather than later because
things are changing with her girlfriend's living situation, and she
wanted to give me a heads up. I told her
absolutely not that she can't move in with someone she's
only been dating for a couple of months, especially not

(27:07):
when she's moving several states away. All of her family
is here, including me and her father, and her brother
and her three living grandparents. I told her she's too
young and she can't move that far away from much
just for a girl. She told me that, regardless of
her girlfriend, she's been wanting to move away for years,
and that her girlfriend's state was on a list of
potential places. She said she loved being there when she

(27:30):
visited and can't wait to go back. She says I'm
being unreasonable by asking her to stay, and that she
hates it here and feels like she can't be herself.
Am I the jerk here? I don't think she's old
enough or mature enough to leave. Edit because someone asked
My daughter didn't ask for money. She almost never asks
for money. She's like her father in that way. She's

(27:51):
almost completely financially independent. I have her on my health
and dental insurance to help her out. My mother pays
for her monthly phone plan because she is sane. I
stood on doing something for my daughter, and my daughter's
grandfather on her father's side pays her car insurance, and
my daughter goes to her father when she has car
troubles because he has a lot of experience with cars.
My daughter takes care of all of her other needs

(28:13):
on her own. You're the jerk. It seems like you
don't know much about your daughter's personal life, and that's
okay because she doesn't need to share. She's not a
teen living under your roof. The more you butt in
and tell her what she can and can't do as
an adult, the less you're going to see her. Have
you considered that the reason she wants to leave at
all is to get away from the restraints of her

(28:33):
hometown and family. You're the jerk. She's an adult and
she has respected you enough to tell you. It's a
shame that you weren't close enough to get to see
that she was depressed when you thought she was all good.
But keeping her close won't make up for that. Fully,
embrace and support her because it sounds like she's happy.
Stay on her good side, and hopefully she'll bring you

(28:54):
along in her new life. My Karen stepdaughter scammed me
for ten thousand dollars fake names for privacy. I have
three kids, Bea twenty three female, Amy twenty female, and Liz,
fifteen female. Bea is technically my stepdaughter, and I only
mention it because it's relevant to the story. My husband

(29:14):
Ben and I have a deal with our kids that
as long as they are studying, we will pay for
all their expenses and they may be at home rent free.
If they feel that college isn't for them, then they
need to get a job. We feel it's their life
and their choice, but Ben and I won't enable them
to do nothing. Amy is earning a degree and Liz
is still in high school. Bea told us that college

(29:36):
wasn't for her. We said okay and helped her apply
for jobs. She got hired as a receptionist, but only
works part time. We just asked that she pitch in
for groceries under seventy five dollars a month and help
with chores. She was not charged for her room or
for water or electric bills. We also paid for her
car and its insurance. Bey only had to pay for gas.

(29:57):
She also has all of her essentials, so toothpaste, et cetera.
Provided by us. She needs to follow the house rules,
be kind and respectful to every member of the House.
You may stay up past ten pm, but must be
quiet since other people have work or school. Turn off
devices you aren't using to conserve electricity and improve the
Wi Fi. We don't approve of smoking, but if you're

(30:19):
going to do it, you have to do it outside
and dispose of it properly, etc. Ben and I always
believed that our rules were fair and reasonable. That was
all the background. Here's the reason I'm posting. In January,
Bea approached us explaining that our occupational center was offering
courses and she wanted to take them so she could
become certified and get a better paying job. The tuition

(30:41):
for the course, plus extra fees because of books and
other required supplies, would come out to over ten thousand dollars.
Ben and I wrote her a check because, as I said,
we will help all of our kids with their education.
We asked about two weeks ago if she would be
having a graduation ceremony, and Bea replied that she didn't know.
Ben and I called the Occupational Senate to ask so

(31:03):
we could make sure to get the day off work.
We asked for three different workers, who all confirmed that
the course Bea claimed to have been enrolled in hadn't
been offered at that center for years. We do more
digging and discover that Bea had gambled away most of
the money and spend the rest on things that go
against our rules. Needless to say, we were livid with her.

(31:24):
We couldn't believe that she would lie and betray our
trust like that. We told Bea that we had expected
all the money paid back by the end of the
year and for her to pay us a four hundred
dollars monthly rent. If not, she's out of the house.
Time to grow up, be an adult and take accountability.
Beya's biological mom, Zoe, is calling me a jerk and

(31:44):
trying to make it seem as if I'm the wicked
stepmother and just to hate Bea. She's saying things like
I've turned Ben against Bea and Bea can't do anything
fun anymore because of the rent rule. Ben and I
feel Bea needs some serious boundaries. But Zoe's words have
made me doubt myself. Am I the jerk? Not the jerk?

(32:05):
You know you're never gonna see that money, right, Bea
lied to you to keep living rent free, and she
scammed you out of ten thousand dollars on top of that,
I'd kick her out right now, not wait nine months
for her to cause more mischief. By the way, in
the future, pay the tuition, residents, books, etc. Bills directly
rather than cutting the student a check. Well, who do

(32:26):
you think is the jerk? OPI or Beya? Please let
us know. If biological Mom has such a strong opinion,
maybe Bea should move in with her. Support our channel,
like joining as a member today and we'll give you
a shout out in our next video. Or come watch
this video next. You won't believe what Karen does in
that one.

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Karen USES ME for Microwave Dinners... GETS TAUGHT A LESSON! - Reddit Stories

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Karen USES ME for Microwave Dinners... GETS TAUGHT A LESSON! - Reddit Stories