November 23, 2023 • 26 mins
In this episode, special guest Denise Walker shares her story about how God helped her to overcome her past, become resilient, and walk in her purpose.
Denise M. Walker is a wife, mother, minister, podcaster, educator, and an award-winning and best-selling author. In addition, she is an editor, writing, literacy, and book coach, speaker, and workshop host. Denise is the founder of Hope-in-Christ Ministries and the owner of Armor of Hope Writing and Publishing Services, LLC.
Denise M. Walker is a wife, mother, minister, podcaster, educator, and an award-winning and best-selling author. In addition, she is an editor, writing, literacy, and book coach, speaker, and workshop host. Denise is the founder of Hope-in-Christ Ministries and the owner of Armor of Hope Writing and Publishing Services, LLC.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:55):
Hello and welcome to all beautiful soulsout there. You're listening to the Restore
My Soul pots Cast with Princess Millin's, your favorite grief coach and emotional wellness
specialist. In this space, wewill help those who struggle with grief and
loss and have real conversations about howto overcome it in every area of life
through our personal stories, practical informationand wisdom from Princess, and for special
(01:19):
guests. We are here to educate, inspire, and empower you with the
strategies you need in your emotional healingjourney. We do not offer medical advice,
but we believe that we can alllearn to heal by creating a mindset
to grow, pass our pain andpush toward our purpose. Our goal is
to remind you that grief is ajourney and you do not have to walk
(01:42):
it alone. No matter what thepain or loss is, you can be
restored and live fully in your purpose. But let's push through the pain together
as we share our stories of resiliencein one episode at a time. Well,
welcome again everybody to another episode ofRestore My Soul Podcast. I am
(02:02):
so excited to be here today foranother installment and you all know that this
is where we have real conversations withreal people about how we can push through
in our emotional wellness journey. SoI am Princess Milan's your host and your
favorite grief and emotional wellness specialist.And we're here to empower you and to
(02:28):
teach you and hopefully inspire you todaywith our testimonies and the things that we
have to share. So we havea special guest today. My special guest
today is Denise Walker. And sheis a wife, she is a mother,
a minister of the gospel. Sheis a podcaster herself an educator.
(02:52):
That's what we have in common aswell. She is an award winning and
best selling author. In addition,she's an editor, y'all. She's an
editor writing literacy, and a bookcoach. She's an empowerment speaker and a
workshop host. And so Denise isthe founder. She is the founder of
(03:15):
Hope in Christ's Ministries and the ownerof Armor of Hope writing and publishing services.
So I want to just welcome tothe podcast today, Denise Walker.
Thank you so much for being hereon this episode. Thank you, thank
you, thank you for having me. I'm excited, absolutely so I know
(03:39):
we're gonna have an ongoing conversation today. I know you're going to share about
really how God had helped you tobe resilient and to overcome some things in
your past and walk into your Godgiven purpose. So I'm just going to
want to start off by asking youI'll just share a little bit about your
(04:01):
story and some things that you hadto push past to get to the woman
of God that you are today.Well, my story goes back to when
I was in middle school and probablybefore that, where I experienced some trauma,
experienced sexual abuse and also just emotionalabuse and different things in my life.
(04:28):
And it took God to really helpme to love myself because I began
to I walked in rejection. Iwalked in so much a rejection it was
that was probably the main one.And I walked in fear. And so
even into adulthood once I accepted Christand all of that, I still struggled
(04:50):
with fears of being rejected. Andso it took the I would say some
maybe a few years back after losingmy dad and so that it was almost
like it this cycle started over again. Reject I felt rejected by God.
(05:11):
I felt my dad had left me. It was so many different things,
and one day God, I wasin church. It's the funny thing is
I was sitting in church and Iheard the Holy Spirit say, give it
all to me. And I wassobbing in the middle of church and looking
around and I'm saying, why can'tanybody see my pain? And the Holy
spirits say, give me everything,all of what you're carrying because I didn't
(05:35):
equip you to carry it, andso that it was hard to release it
because I struggled with even I wantto say I struggled with trusting God as
well, because I felt like Icouldn't trust a lot of people I should
have been able to trust. Andso I remember even one of my pastors,
(05:55):
God speaking through her when she saidto me, the people you wanted
to give you love that you werelooking for, they couldn't give you what
they didn't have. And so itjust so many things that He sent across
my path for me to recognize.Even along the line, once I got
married and me and my husband lostour first child, a rejection again,
(06:18):
and there was so much. Ithink I kept going through the cycle of
rejection and I thought God was punishingme. I didn't know why I was
being punished. And so one daywe lived in Florida at the time,
and there was this lady. Iwas just looking for somebody to do my
hair and back when I had arelaxer, and I walked into the out
(06:41):
of the blue. Didn't know thesepeople at all. We had just moved
to Orlando and this lady. Italked to her about doing my hair,
and I didn't know at the time, and she was talking to me that
she was a minister and an evangelist. And I never forget the day.
I was sitting down and all ofa sudden, I feel comfortable talking to
her, and I told her whathad happened and the stuff I was going
(07:06):
through, and she said, wantGod more than you want anything else.
And when she said those words,I looked at her, like, what
what do you mean, won't Godmore than it? Because I soon I
did, you know, And itjust took that moment and she repeated it
as if to say, you didn'thear me the first time, I'm gonna
(07:29):
say it again. And so whenshe said it again, I could not
wait for her to finish my handbecause when I got in the car,
I just sobbed, and that's whenI told God, I didn't know that
with all of what I had gonethrough, that I really didn't realize that
I wanted those things more than him, because I guess in your natural human
(07:51):
who you are as a human,you feel like you need the natural.
But he was saying, I needto heal you spiritually. So that was,
you know, just some of myjourney. Yeah, such a powerful
testimony already. And what I knowpersonally is that you know, the rejection
is so common, right, It'sso common, more than people let on,
(08:18):
more than people realize, especially inour communities. Right, It's so
common. And it's amazing how Godworks because he sends us exactly what we
need when we need it. He'salways on time. You know, we
always say, you know, Godis there, He's always right on time,
But he really is right. Hesends you exactly who on what you
(08:45):
want and what you need exactly atthe time that you need it. And
you know, a lot of timeswhen we deal with this thing called rejection,
in some cases abandonment, Right,it can take on different faces,
right, it can look different waysto different people. So can you just
(09:07):
share a little bit about what didrejection look like for you? You know,
what kind of things were manifesting thatpeople. You know, sometimes people
see it in people don't see itright, What did the rejection look like
for you? For me, oneof the biggest signs of still battling rejection
(09:30):
was when God told me to writemy first book and I had written it,
it was on my computer, butI wasn't releasing it. I just
wasn't doing it, and so Ikept saying, but I need to do
this. It's not well, whatabout all these other authors out here in
the world, and why do youwant me to write? And so I
went through this continuous conversation with Godlike we could, just like Moses did
(09:54):
when Moses said, well, whydon't you send somebody else? And so
that was me and I just keptsaying, wha, God, I don't
want to. And then one dayit was actually parts of the Rosie I
had met her, and she beganto say, go and ask God,
why you keep doing the things thatyou you do? Like that she and
she began to make sure she helpedme understand the being able to identify what
(10:18):
rejection looked like. And she said, sometimes procrastination is close up and I
noticed that when I wrote one ofmy first women's Christian fiction, where it
tells a little bit more the restof my story about having endometriosis and other
things that just walking through that rejection. I held that book for two years
(10:41):
because I was scared to release it. I was scared that people were going
to reject me. And and soit showed up in me procrastinating or coming
up with this perfectionism of when Iwas not ready. It's not ready,
it's not ready, and God wassaying, like, my fiction neat.
He sent her to say, don'tyou write nothing else, just gone and
(11:03):
hit the button send the book tome right now. And I was like,
but it's not. No, we'renot gonna talk about it no more.
Come up to the book. Andso it was things like that that
where you see rejection show up.Oh yeah, that's a big one.
And you know, I don't thinkI really thought about it in that light.
And you're right, we uh tendto press procrastinate. It can it
(11:28):
can make you want to feel likeyou just want to shrink back and not
and and you know, not releasewhat God wants you to release, or
you know, you know you gotthis thing already ready to go perfectionism,
uh comes up. And that isa great example that I think that a
lot of people probably miss out becausewe want Rejection is a form of grief.
(11:52):
I believe it's a form of griefbecause you're grieving what you feel like
you did not have, or feellike what you had lost. And so
you know, most of us wewant to see rejection as you crying all
the time or you know, you'redoing other things. But it can show
up in our productivity, it canshow up in our obedience to God.
(12:16):
Right. But it's something I believethat we have to continue to talk about
in our community so that people canbe clear on some things of what they
should look out for if they're strugglingin that area. Right. So you
(12:37):
know you talked about the journey frombeing rejected. You talked about some losses
in your life, right, theloss of your dad, your loss of
your first child. I know Ican attest to that. I know because
I lost my son in twenty eighteen. Yeah, he was twenty years old.
(13:01):
And so again you're right, becausewhatever is in you when you lose
some people through death or whatever,whatever it is, whatever is in you
is gonna come out of you.And we want the word of God,
we want the spirit of God toalways come forward. But I want to
ask you about in the areas ofloss lost in your life. Tell us
(13:31):
about some things maybe that you havelost in life and you had to learn
from that thing. You had topush your yourself into a place where you
know you were not just surviving,but you were thriving in life. You
know what I'm saying. Tell usabout some of the losses that you had
to endure. So one of thelosses were again was I think one of
(13:56):
the greatest losses was when I miscarriedmy first child. And then and the
second one was my dad. Becausemy dad was the one who took care
of me growing up. He wasthee who raised me. And so I
felt like the person who loved methe most was going, you know,
he was leaving, and so ittook me some time. I would go
(14:18):
and there, and there were sometimes where I would cry, but I
would go and sit in my closetand I'll just sit on the floor and
just cry. It could be somethingon TV that showed up and all of
a sudden, I'm sobbing, andand so I would remember even some of
the words my dad said to meand keeping me encouraged to keep moving.
(14:39):
I remember the Holy Spirit speaking tome that he, you know, just
reminded me that God loves me andyou have to move forward. And the
one of the biggest things was thisminister. He always shows up with people
I have no right. Yes,there was this minister I was on I
think I call into Pastor do Rochehad a prayer line one time and I
(15:03):
called into the prayer line and thisminister I didn't know, this man from
Adam. I started asking for prayerfor my family, just general prayer,
and he started speaking to me andhe said, God said you cannot keep
your mouth closed any longer. Youhave to open up what He told you
to do. And I was like, excuse, like I'm like huh and
(15:26):
he he and he repeated, justlike the lady in Orlando, as if
I didn't hear him the first time. He repeated to me, God said
you have to step forward because Godlike like you're familiar with the story of
Samuel. That's some of the thingsI went through. I would hear God
talk to me when I wake up, just like Samuel and you know how
(15:48):
they say tell when they told Samuelto go and say, God say here,
here I am. I never saidhere I am. I heard God
say it, but I never respondedfor a long time, and I kept
hearing it. In that particular night, this minister said, God has been
speaking to you for a long time, to go, aminister his truth.
(16:10):
And in my mind I was thinking, but I don't want to be a
church passed out. Don't want toand he's that's not what God is saying.
Goes to women, go and power, women go in power. So
that night I said, God,forgive me for being this obedient. But
it had been years that had passedbefore I obeyed God. And then that's
(16:34):
when I became ordained. But Ijust it was just the fear again,
and I was I just kept Ididn't say it out loud, but I
knew in my mind. I feltin my mind that people wouldn't receive me.
Wow. Yeah, And you know, and I know that it's some
people that is listening to this episodeand they feeling like the same thing a
(16:57):
lot. And that's again it's abyproduct of rejection, right. And you
know, God knows his children,he knows his children, and he know
who to send the word through.He know how to do it, you
know, because sometimes I believe thatwhen we go through things, it might
(17:18):
not be solved by somebody that weknow and that you're familiar with us,
right, And so it's amazing howHe sent these people that you hadn't,
didn't even know you to actually speakinto your life and say what God was
saying at that time. And Ithink it kind of leads into you know,
(17:40):
our support system as well, right, And I believe that no matter
what you're going through, when you'repushing through anything, that you got to
have the right people around you.And just like you said before, you
know, you have been there,you have been in a place where people
just didn't see that you were hurtingand they didn't see, you know,
(18:03):
the things that you were going through, or they wouldn't acknowledge it. Right.
So can you talk just a littlebit about what you feel around how
important it is to have a supportsystem when you're going through the things that
you're going through. It's actually vitalto have a support system. And it
doesn't and honestly, those of uswho experienced trauma, it may not be
(18:26):
a family member, it may besomebody who God sent, just a stranger,
maybe somebody at your job, thatthat person is drawn to you some
kind of way and they begin tospeak just positive to you. They begin
to say, I'm gonna pray foryou. I had those not a and
I can be honest, it wasn'ta lot of family members who did that,
(18:49):
but He would send those individuals.It's important because you have to be
able to trust somebody because God putus in this world for relationship, and
so he didn't put us in hereto be isolated. And sometimes we can,
we'll go to ourselves, but He'ssending somebody in our midst to say
I love you, and this isthe person I sent across your path,
(19:11):
and you have to be designed enoughwho that person is. I remember thinking
it was a friend and it wasn't. That person really wasn't my friend.
But God. I began to say, God, show me who loves me,
show me who has my best interestat heart? Who are those people?
And He beginning to reveal those peopleto me. Yeah, that's good,
and you're right. Sometimes it's notthe people that we think or even
(19:37):
what we think is is really thepeople that we want that we desire to
be, and sometimes it's just notthose people. And we have to be
okay with that, right. Wehave to be okay with what support because
God provides everything for what we need, right. He provides everything, even
the support system, even the peoplethat's gonna come. I remember when it
(20:00):
wasn't long after, maybe not evena month after my son passed away,
they somebody had found me on thatwe were friends on Facebook, but I
didn't know her per se, youknow what I'm saying, And so she
was one of the first ones toreach out to me and say, oh,
(20:22):
I'm so sorry, see for yourloss, and you know, I
you know, I just want tolet you know I lost my son too.
You know, she lost her sonto gun violence or something like that.
But just some people that will reachout to you, they don't know
you from Adam, right, andthey will just pour into you and pour
into you. And I just believethat is the divine will and divine connection
(20:48):
of God because he said that hewill apply everything that we need, right,
and so that's part of him supplyinga lot of time. We you
that word. As you know,he's supplying us money, houses and cars,
but he'll supply you to people right, the resources and the tools to
help you to walk into your Godgiven purpose. Right. So yeah,
(21:14):
So I just so as we're endthis broadcast, I want you to just
give the audience a word of encouragement. If somebody is listening and they have
struggle and struggling now with rejection fromthe losses in their lives, from the
(21:37):
trauma in their life, and itseems like they just continue to be stuck,
give them some words of encouragement.I would say, first of all,
and these were words for myself thatI had to get to the place.
One is trusting God with everything that'sin you, just and telling God
(22:00):
what you feel, just telling us, being okay with knowing God can can
take it. I think a lotof times we are taught growing up that
you know, you're scared to sayto God what you really feel, but
he can take it. He cantake it, and he loves us.
And also I would say, becauseI had to do it, do it
afraid. So if God says,go and do something. And I always
(22:25):
related to Moses for some reason,Moses is ringing in my ear. But
like when He told Moses and Moseskept coming up with excuses and coming up
with excuses because he could have beendealing with rejection himself. Absolutely, we
have to do it afraid and takethe first step, and God will take
the other team for you, likehe's waiting on you to say, Okay,
(22:47):
God, I trust you. Iknow you have whatever plan for me,
And so he wants us to doit afraid. If we didn't have
fear inside of us when God calledus the purpose, then that means we
have some pride somewhere, but we'regonna have some fears, We're gonna have
some self doubt, but we seekhim and He will lead us and guide
(23:10):
us. Know. And I'm theperson I would be to post a child
to tell you that you have todo it afraid. If I didn't,
I wouldn't have written, I wouldn'thave released the book. I wouldn't have
stood before women because that was awhole other issue where I would talk to
children all day every day and Iwouldn't talk to women because of that.
And so God began to show methose pieces in my heart that he still
(23:33):
needed to heal. And you'll findthat as you take the steps. Every
time you take the next step,he's healing that piece he's healing that piece
in our write and he'll heal usin our speaking that something may happen,
he'll heal us and you'll start seeingthat he'll reveal those things that he needed
to unfold bit by bit, andso we just trust him. And sometimes
(23:56):
it's hard, but trust him anyway. Absolutely, that is so good.
And when you were just talking,this is one of my son's favorite verses
Proverbs three five and six. Trustingthe Lord with all of your heart,
and lean not to your own understanding, and in all your ways acknowledge him
(24:18):
meaning God, and he will directyour path. And that's what I heard
the Lord say as you were sayingthat this has been such a good episode.
I know that this has blessed somany people and will continue to bless
as they listen, because again,this emotional wellness mental health is something that
we don't talk enough about in thecommunity. But I think we're getting better,
(24:42):
but it's always room for improvement.And I'm so glad that you were
here to share your story and tobless the audience today. So before we
get out of here, I wantyou to tell everybody how to find you,
how to connect with you, whereto follow you on social media and
all of that. Well, youcan follow me at the Hope Way on
(25:06):
TikTok, Facebook and Instagram. Alsoat author Denise and Walker on Instagram and
Facebook, and if you need toemail me, you can email me at
contact at Deniseanwalker dot com. Andso those are my platforms. All right,
well, thank you so much againfor being here and I hope to
(25:29):
see you soon. Thank you,thank you, thank you. All right,
well, thank you so much everybodyfor joining us for another episode of
Restoring My Soul Podcast. I knowthat you are blessed today because I certainly
was, and I want to encourageyou to continue to follow me on all
(25:49):
social media at Princess Millan's and mywebsite at Princessmilans dot com. You all
remember that grief is a journey,but you don't have to walk it along
and I will see you in thenext episode of Restore My Soul podcast.
Thank you for joining another episode ofRestore My Soul Podcast. Be sure to
(26:12):
listen and watch each week as wecontinue the conversation on how to bounce back
from the setback of grief and lossand to become resilient so that you too
can thrive in life, don't forgetto like and subscribe so that you don't
miss out on any new episodes,and share this with as many people as
possible so they can be encouraged intheir emotional wellness journey. We invite you
(26:33):
to follow Princess Milions on all socialmedia platforms and on the website at princessmilins
dot com. Thank you for listeningand we'll see you in the next episode
of the Restore My Soul podcast.
Hello and welcome to all beautiful soulsout there. You're listening to the Restore
My Soul pots Cast with Princess Millin's, your favorite grief coach and emotional wellness
specialist. In this space, wewill help those who struggle with grief and
loss and have real conversations about howto overcome it in every area of life
through our personal stories, practical informationand wisdom from Princess, and for special
(01:19):
guests. We are here to educate, inspire, and empower you with the
strategies you need in your emotional healingjourney. We do not offer medical advice,
but we believe that we can alllearn to heal by creating a mindset
to grow, pass our pain andpush toward our purpose. Our goal is
to remind you that grief is ajourney and you do not have to walk
(01:42):
it alone. No matter what thepain or loss is, you can be
restored and live fully in your purpose. But let's push through the pain together
as we share our stories of resiliencein one episode at a time. Well,
welcome again everybody to another episode ofRestore My Soul Podcast. I am
(02:02):
so excited to be here today foranother installment and you all know that this
is where we have real conversations withreal people about how we can push through
in our emotional wellness journey. SoI am Princess Milan's your host and your
favorite grief and emotional wellness specialist.And we're here to empower you and to
(02:28):
teach you and hopefully inspire you todaywith our testimonies and the things that we
have to share. So we havea special guest today. My special guest
today is Denise Walker. And sheis a wife, she is a mother,
a minister of the gospel. Sheis a podcaster herself an educator.
(02:52):
That's what we have in common aswell. She is an award winning and
best selling author. In addition,she's an editor, y'all. She's an
editor writing literacy, and a bookcoach. She's an empowerment speaker and a
workshop host. And so Denise isthe founder. She is the founder of
(03:15):
Hope in Christ's Ministries and the ownerof Armor of Hope writing and publishing services.
So I want to just welcome tothe podcast today, Denise Walker.
Thank you so much for being hereon this episode. Thank you, thank
you, thank you for having me. I'm excited, absolutely so I know
(03:39):
we're gonna have an ongoing conversation today. I know you're going to share about
really how God had helped you tobe resilient and to overcome some things in
your past and walk into your Godgiven purpose. So I'm just going to
want to start off by asking youI'll just share a little bit about your
(04:01):
story and some things that you hadto push past to get to the woman
of God that you are today.Well, my story goes back to when
I was in middle school and probablybefore that, where I experienced some trauma,
experienced sexual abuse and also just emotionalabuse and different things in my life.
(04:28):
And it took God to really helpme to love myself because I began
to I walked in rejection. Iwalked in so much a rejection it was
that was probably the main one.And I walked in fear. And so
even into adulthood once I accepted Christand all of that, I still struggled
(04:50):
with fears of being rejected. Andso it took the I would say some
maybe a few years back after losingmy dad and so that it was almost
like it this cycle started over again. Reject I felt rejected by God.
(05:11):
I felt my dad had left me. It was so many different things,
and one day God, I wasin church. It's the funny thing is
I was sitting in church and Iheard the Holy Spirit say, give it
all to me. And I wassobbing in the middle of church and looking
around and I'm saying, why can'tanybody see my pain? And the Holy
spirits say, give me everything,all of what you're carrying because I didn't
(05:35):
equip you to carry it, andso that it was hard to release it
because I struggled with even I wantto say I struggled with trusting God as
well, because I felt like Icouldn't trust a lot of people I should
have been able to trust. Andso I remember even one of my pastors,
(05:55):
God speaking through her when she saidto me, the people you wanted
to give you love that you werelooking for, they couldn't give you what
they didn't have. And so itjust so many things that He sent across
my path for me to recognize.Even along the line, once I got
married and me and my husband lostour first child, a rejection again,
(06:18):
and there was so much. Ithink I kept going through the cycle of
rejection and I thought God was punishingme. I didn't know why I was
being punished. And so one daywe lived in Florida at the time,
and there was this lady. Iwas just looking for somebody to do my
hair and back when I had arelaxer, and I walked into the out
(06:41):
of the blue. Didn't know thesepeople at all. We had just moved
to Orlando and this lady. Italked to her about doing my hair,
and I didn't know at the time, and she was talking to me that
she was a minister and an evangelist. And I never forget the day.
I was sitting down and all ofa sudden, I feel comfortable talking to
her, and I told her whathad happened and the stuff I was going
(07:06):
through, and she said, wantGod more than you want anything else.
And when she said those words,I looked at her, like, what
what do you mean, won't Godmore than it? Because I soon I
did, you know, And itjust took that moment and she repeated it
as if to say, you didn'thear me the first time, I'm gonna
(07:29):
say it again. And so whenshe said it again, I could not
wait for her to finish my handbecause when I got in the car,
I just sobbed, and that's whenI told God, I didn't know that
with all of what I had gonethrough, that I really didn't realize that
I wanted those things more than him, because I guess in your natural human
(07:51):
who you are as a human,you feel like you need the natural.
But he was saying, I needto heal you spiritually. So that was,
you know, just some of myjourney. Yeah, such a powerful
testimony already. And what I knowpersonally is that you know, the rejection
is so common, right, It'sso common, more than people let on,
(08:18):
more than people realize, especially inour communities. Right, It's so
common. And it's amazing how Godworks because he sends us exactly what we
need when we need it. He'salways on time. You know, we
always say, you know, Godis there, He's always right on time,
But he really is right. Hesends you exactly who on what you
(08:45):
want and what you need exactly atthe time that you need it. And
you know, a lot of timeswhen we deal with this thing called rejection,
in some cases abandonment, Right,it can take on different faces,
right, it can look different waysto different people. So can you just
(09:07):
share a little bit about what didrejection look like for you? You know,
what kind of things were manifesting thatpeople. You know, sometimes people
see it in people don't see itright, What did the rejection look like
for you? For me, oneof the biggest signs of still battling rejection
(09:30):
was when God told me to writemy first book and I had written it,
it was on my computer, butI wasn't releasing it. I just
wasn't doing it, and so Ikept saying, but I need to do
this. It's not well, whatabout all these other authors out here in
the world, and why do youwant me to write? And so I
went through this continuous conversation with Godlike we could, just like Moses did
(09:54):
when Moses said, well, whydon't you send somebody else? And so
that was me and I just keptsaying, wha, God, I don't
want to. And then one dayit was actually parts of the Rosie I
had met her, and she beganto say, go and ask God,
why you keep doing the things thatyou you do? Like that she and
she began to make sure she helpedme understand the being able to identify what
(10:18):
rejection looked like. And she said, sometimes procrastination is close up and I
noticed that when I wrote one ofmy first women's Christian fiction, where it
tells a little bit more the restof my story about having endometriosis and other
things that just walking through that rejection. I held that book for two years
(10:41):
because I was scared to release it. I was scared that people were going
to reject me. And and soit showed up in me procrastinating or coming
up with this perfectionism of when Iwas not ready. It's not ready,
it's not ready, and God wassaying, like, my fiction neat.
He sent her to say, don'tyou write nothing else, just gone and
(11:03):
hit the button send the book tome right now. And I was like,
but it's not. No, we'renot gonna talk about it no more.
Come up to the book. Andso it was things like that that
where you see rejection show up.Oh yeah, that's a big one.
And you know, I don't thinkI really thought about it in that light.
And you're right, we uh tendto press procrastinate. It can it
(11:28):
can make you want to feel likeyou just want to shrink back and not
and and you know, not releasewhat God wants you to release, or
you know, you know you gotthis thing already ready to go perfectionism,
uh comes up. And that isa great example that I think that a
lot of people probably miss out becausewe want Rejection is a form of grief.
(11:52):
I believe it's a form of griefbecause you're grieving what you feel like
you did not have, or feellike what you had lost. And so
you know, most of us wewant to see rejection as you crying all
the time or you know, you'redoing other things. But it can show
up in our productivity, it canshow up in our obedience to God.
(12:16):
Right. But it's something I believethat we have to continue to talk about
in our community so that people canbe clear on some things of what they
should look out for if they're strugglingin that area. Right. So you
(12:37):
know you talked about the journey frombeing rejected. You talked about some losses
in your life, right, theloss of your dad, your loss of
your first child. I know Ican attest to that. I know because
I lost my son in twenty eighteen. Yeah, he was twenty years old.
(13:01):
And so again you're right, becausewhatever is in you when you lose
some people through death or whatever,whatever it is, whatever is in you
is gonna come out of you.And we want the word of God,
we want the spirit of God toalways come forward. But I want to
ask you about in the areas ofloss lost in your life. Tell us
(13:31):
about some things maybe that you havelost in life and you had to learn
from that thing. You had topush your yourself into a place where you
know you were not just surviving,but you were thriving in life. You
know what I'm saying. Tell usabout some of the losses that you had
to endure. So one of thelosses were again was I think one of
(13:56):
the greatest losses was when I miscarriedmy first child. And then and the
second one was my dad. Becausemy dad was the one who took care
of me growing up. He wasthee who raised me. And so I
felt like the person who loved methe most was going, you know,
he was leaving, and so ittook me some time. I would go
(14:18):
and there, and there were sometimes where I would cry, but I
would go and sit in my closetand I'll just sit on the floor and
just cry. It could be somethingon TV that showed up and all of
a sudden, I'm sobbing, andand so I would remember even some of
the words my dad said to meand keeping me encouraged to keep moving.
(14:39):
I remember the Holy Spirit speaking tome that he, you know, just
reminded me that God loves me andyou have to move forward. And the
one of the biggest things was thisminister. He always shows up with people
I have no right. Yes,there was this minister I was on I
think I call into Pastor do Rochehad a prayer line one time and I
(15:03):
called into the prayer line and thisminister I didn't know, this man from
Adam. I started asking for prayerfor my family, just general prayer,
and he started speaking to me andhe said, God said you cannot keep
your mouth closed any longer. Youhave to open up what He told you
to do. And I was like, excuse, like I'm like huh and
(15:26):
he he and he repeated, justlike the lady in Orlando, as if
I didn't hear him the first time. He repeated to me, God said
you have to step forward because Godlike like you're familiar with the story of
Samuel. That's some of the thingsI went through. I would hear God
talk to me when I wake up, just like Samuel and you know how
(15:48):
they say tell when they told Samuelto go and say, God say here,
here I am. I never saidhere I am. I heard God
say it, but I never respondedfor a long time, and I kept
hearing it. In that particular night, this minister said, God has been
speaking to you for a long time, to go, aminister his truth.
(16:10):
And in my mind I was thinking, but I don't want to be a
church passed out. Don't want toand he's that's not what God is saying.
Goes to women, go and power, women go in power. So
that night I said, God,forgive me for being this obedient. But
it had been years that had passedbefore I obeyed God. And then that's
(16:34):
when I became ordained. But Ijust it was just the fear again,
and I was I just kept Ididn't say it out loud, but I
knew in my mind. I feltin my mind that people wouldn't receive me.
Wow. Yeah, And you know, and I know that it's some
people that is listening to this episodeand they feeling like the same thing a
(16:57):
lot. And that's again it's abyproduct of rejection, right. And you
know, God knows his children,he knows his children, and he know
who to send the word through.He know how to do it, you
know, because sometimes I believe thatwhen we go through things, it might
(17:18):
not be solved by somebody that weknow and that you're familiar with us,
right, And so it's amazing howHe sent these people that you hadn't,
didn't even know you to actually speakinto your life and say what God was
saying at that time. And Ithink it kind of leads into you know,
(17:40):
our support system as well, right, And I believe that no matter
what you're going through, when you'repushing through anything, that you got to
have the right people around you.And just like you said before, you
know, you have been there,you have been in a place where people
just didn't see that you were hurtingand they didn't see, you know,
(18:03):
the things that you were going through, or they wouldn't acknowledge it. Right.
So can you talk just a littlebit about what you feel around how
important it is to have a supportsystem when you're going through the things that
you're going through. It's actually vitalto have a support system. And it
doesn't and honestly, those of uswho experienced trauma, it may not be
(18:26):
a family member, it may besomebody who God sent, just a stranger,
maybe somebody at your job, thatthat person is drawn to you some
kind of way and they begin tospeak just positive to you. They begin
to say, I'm gonna pray foryou. I had those not a and
I can be honest, it wasn'ta lot of family members who did that,
(18:49):
but He would send those individuals.It's important because you have to be
able to trust somebody because God putus in this world for relationship, and
so he didn't put us in hereto be isolated. And sometimes we can,
we'll go to ourselves, but He'ssending somebody in our midst to say
I love you, and this isthe person I sent across your path,
(19:11):
and you have to be designed enoughwho that person is. I remember thinking
it was a friend and it wasn't. That person really wasn't my friend.
But God. I began to say, God, show me who loves me,
show me who has my best interestat heart? Who are those people?
And He beginning to reveal those peopleto me. Yeah, that's good,
and you're right. Sometimes it's notthe people that we think or even
(19:37):
what we think is is really thepeople that we want that we desire to
be, and sometimes it's just notthose people. And we have to be
okay with that, right. Wehave to be okay with what support because
God provides everything for what we need, right. He provides everything, even
the support system, even the peoplethat's gonna come. I remember when it
(20:00):
wasn't long after, maybe not evena month after my son passed away,
they somebody had found me on thatwe were friends on Facebook, but I
didn't know her per se, youknow what I'm saying, And so she
was one of the first ones toreach out to me and say, oh,
(20:22):
I'm so sorry, see for yourloss, and you know, I
you know, I just want tolet you know I lost my son too.
You know, she lost her sonto gun violence or something like that.
But just some people that will reachout to you, they don't know
you from Adam, right, andthey will just pour into you and pour
into you. And I just believethat is the divine will and divine connection
(20:48):
of God because he said that hewill apply everything that we need, right,
and so that's part of him supplyinga lot of time. We you
that word. As you know,he's supplying us money, houses and cars,
but he'll supply you to people right, the resources and the tools to
help you to walk into your Godgiven purpose. Right. So yeah,
(21:14):
So I just so as we're endthis broadcast, I want you to just
give the audience a word of encouragement. If somebody is listening and they have
struggle and struggling now with rejection fromthe losses in their lives, from the
(21:37):
trauma in their life, and itseems like they just continue to be stuck,
give them some words of encouragement.I would say, first of all,
and these were words for myself thatI had to get to the place.
One is trusting God with everything that'sin you, just and telling God
(22:00):
what you feel, just telling us, being okay with knowing God can can
take it. I think a lotof times we are taught growing up that
you know, you're scared to sayto God what you really feel, but
he can take it. He cantake it, and he loves us.
And also I would say, becauseI had to do it, do it
afraid. So if God says,go and do something. And I always
(22:25):
related to Moses for some reason,Moses is ringing in my ear. But
like when He told Moses and Moseskept coming up with excuses and coming up
with excuses because he could have beendealing with rejection himself. Absolutely, we
have to do it afraid and takethe first step, and God will take
the other team for you, likehe's waiting on you to say, Okay,
(22:47):
God, I trust you. Iknow you have whatever plan for me,
And so he wants us to doit afraid. If we didn't have
fear inside of us when God calledus the purpose, then that means we
have some pride somewhere, but we'regonna have some fears, We're gonna have
some self doubt, but we seekhim and He will lead us and guide
(23:10):
us. Know. And I'm theperson I would be to post a child
to tell you that you have todo it afraid. If I didn't,
I wouldn't have written, I wouldn'thave released the book. I wouldn't have
stood before women because that was awhole other issue where I would talk to
children all day every day and Iwouldn't talk to women because of that.
And so God began to show methose pieces in my heart that he still
(23:33):
needed to heal. And you'll findthat as you take the steps. Every
time you take the next step,he's healing that piece he's healing that piece
in our write and he'll heal usin our speaking that something may happen,
he'll heal us and you'll start seeingthat he'll reveal those things that he needed
to unfold bit by bit, andso we just trust him. And sometimes
(23:56):
it's hard, but trust him anyway. Absolutely, that is so good.
And when you were just talking,this is one of my son's favorite verses
Proverbs three five and six. Trustingthe Lord with all of your heart,
and lean not to your own understanding, and in all your ways acknowledge him
(24:18):
meaning God, and he will directyour path. And that's what I heard
the Lord say as you were sayingthat this has been such a good episode.
I know that this has blessed somany people and will continue to bless
as they listen, because again,this emotional wellness mental health is something that
we don't talk enough about in thecommunity. But I think we're getting better,
(24:42):
but it's always room for improvement.And I'm so glad that you were
here to share your story and tobless the audience today. So before we
get out of here, I wantyou to tell everybody how to find you,
how to connect with you, whereto follow you on social media and
all of that. Well, youcan follow me at the Hope Way on
(25:06):
TikTok, Facebook and Instagram. Alsoat author Denise and Walker on Instagram and
Facebook, and if you need toemail me, you can email me at
contact at Deniseanwalker dot com. Andso those are my platforms. All right,
well, thank you so much againfor being here and I hope to
(25:29):
see you soon. Thank you,thank you, thank you. All right,
well, thank you so much everybodyfor joining us for another episode of
Restoring My Soul Podcast. I knowthat you are blessed today because I certainly
was, and I want to encourageyou to continue to follow me on all
(25:49):
social media at Princess Millan's and mywebsite at Princessmilans dot com. You all
remember that grief is a journey,but you don't have to walk it along
and I will see you in thenext episode of Restore My Soul podcast.
Thank you for joining another episode ofRestore My Soul Podcast. Be sure to
(26:12):
listen and watch each week as wecontinue the conversation on how to bounce back
from the setback of grief and lossand to become resilient so that you too
can thrive in life, don't forgetto like and subscribe so that you don't
miss out on any new episodes,and share this with as many people as
possible so they can be encouraged intheir emotional wellness journey. We invite you
(26:33):
to follow Princess Milions on all socialmedia platforms and on the website at princessmilins
dot com. Thank you for listeningand we'll see you in the next episode
of the Restore My Soul podcast.
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