RMS Podcast Episode 1-32 Overcoming Sexual Abuse with Grace

In this episode, my special guest, Lashanda Williams, shares her story of overcoming sexual abuse and trauma.

Lashanda Williams is a Wife and Mother, evangelist, and Author. I'm a Certified Christian Sexual Abuse, Life, & Mental Health Coach. She enjoys traveling, reading, and spending time with her family. She is the CEO of Thrive With Purpose and enjoys helping women on their healing journey and overcoming life hardships and issues.

Connect with Lashanda Williams at [e-mail]

Episode Transcript

(00:52):
Hello and welcome to all beautiful soulsout there. You're listening to the Restore
My Soul Podcast with Princess Millon's,your favorite grief coach and emotional wellness specialist.
In this space, we will helpthose who struggle with grief and loss
and have real conversations about how toovercome it in every area of life through
our personal stories, practical information,and wisdom from Princess and her special guests.

(01:18):
We are here to educate, inspire, and empower you with the strategies
you need in your emotional healing journey. We do not offer medical advice,
but we believe that we can alllearn to heal by creating a mindset to
grow, pass our pain and pushtoward our purpose. Our goal is to
remind you that grief is a journeyand you do not have to walk it
alone. No matter what the painor loss is, you can be restored

(01:44):
and live fully in your purpose.But let's push through the pain together as
we share our stories of resilience inone episode at a time. Well,
Welcome in everybody, every beautiful soulout there, Welcome to to Restore my
Soul Podcast. Once again, Thankyou so much for being here and joining

(02:06):
us on this episode. I amso excited that you are here and that
you decided to join in on theconversation of emotional wellness and resilience. We
are here to educate, inspire you, and encourage you on the on the
on on your journey of emotional wellness. I am Princess Millions for those of

(02:27):
you who don't know me, andI'm your favorite grief and emotional wellness specialist,
and I am so excited to behere again. And I just believe
that we all have a story,right we all have something that we've overcome.
We've all have something that we havebeen able to push through. In
this podcast, we want to makesure that we broadcast those stories that have

(02:53):
such a powerful and encouragement to allof us that we can we can push
through as well. So we havea special guest today. I'm so excited
for our special guest today. Today, We're going to have the Shonda Williams.
She is a wife and a mother, and she is an evangelist and

(03:14):
an author, a certified Christian lifecoach, mental health coach, sexual abuse
coach, and she is the CEOof Thrive with Purpose and she's enjoys helping
women on their healing journey and overcomingissues of life. So I'm so excited

(03:35):
to just bring to the podcast todaythe Shonda Williams. Thank you so much
for being here. Hello, andthank you, thank you, thank you
for having me absolutely So we wantto make sure that I know we're going
to have a conversation about, youknow, low self esteem, some things
that you had to push through touplift and encourage people that are going through

(04:00):
and have gone through the same thingthat you have gone through. So I
don't want to prolong the time anymore. I just want you to share your
story. So let me just starton this question. I want you to
share with the audience, right,some things that you had to overcome in
your life, and some things thatthey probably would resonate with, they might

(04:25):
not resonate with, but some thingsthat you had to do to overcome those
things that you've had to the challengesof life that you had. Okay,
well, I will first start withmy first thing that I had to overcome,
and it was the sexual abuse.It was a molestation when I was
a child. It started at I'mthinking of age around about five or six.

(04:48):
I can't remember the exact age whenit was around five or six,
and it was by a relative.And you know, when you're a child
and you're told if someone touches you, or if someone does something to you
to hurt you, you should tellan adult. Well I did that.

(05:08):
I told an adult and nobody doneanything, and everybody looked at, you
know, as if it was somethingthat I had did. So as being
a child, I had to holdthat inside and it was devastating and I
would have nightmares, flashbacks, andit was just it was terrible, and

(05:30):
so I grew up it really damagedme in the area of sex. I
hated sex. I hated to hearanything about it. I just did not
like sex. So that was thefirst thing of when I was a child.
I had to overcome that. Andthat wasn't an easy thing for me
to overcome because like I said,I had flashbacks and I had nightmares,

(05:50):
and then as a child, beingmade to go around that person that molested
you, it's just not a goodfeel. And so I grew up with
anger and bitterness and unforgiveness and somany other things. So I had to
go through healing and deliverance and learnto overcome that. You know, that

(06:13):
was one part of my life.So the sexual abuse would be the first
thing. I have so many otherthings that I've had to overcome. But
yes, absolutely, And this issuch a powerful testimony already, because abuse
is something that I know that isvery It can be very detrimental to somebody's

(06:39):
life and you have to go throughsome serious healing right, be able to
be overcome and just just to beable to live your life right. And
I can just that with this typeof abuse and other types of abuse,
it almost like it takes your voiceaway, like you don't have a voice

(07:03):
and you can't speak up for youknow, you can't speak up for yourself,
especially a small child, right.You know, you're learning how to
communicate, and so when people aretelling you that it's not happening to you
and they don't want to listen toit, it kind of takes your voice
away. And so can you kindof tell us a little bit about how

(07:25):
important is your voice when you aregoing through the challenges these things in life,
just like in your case the abuse, how important is your voice in
all of it? Your voices arevery important because see what happens is once

(07:47):
that happens to you. Once aperson has been abused sexually, it causes
you to be guilt. You feelguilt, you feel shame, embarrassment,
and you don't want to you don'twant a verbally just talk about it.
But throughout my journey, I've cometo understand, and I share this with
my clients that when you don't voiceit, when you don't speak about it,

(08:11):
when you hold it in, itcauses all type of trauma to your
body. It causes stress, itcauses depression, it causes anxiety, It
causes so many different things to goon in your body, and then it
also causes mental distresses. And soyour voice is very, very, very
important because when you speak out.I've learned throughout the years, the more

(08:33):
I speak out and the more otherwomen here you know my testimony, someone
else can relate to that and itgives them courage, and it gives them,
it inspires them to look. Ican step out, I can be
that voice because what happened to mehappened to someone else. But you can

(08:54):
overcome, just like I overcame.So having your voice is very it's very
And then I'm gonna say this onething about your voice I've learned throughout the
years the power of release. Iused to journal when I was a child,
and I didn't realize until I wrotemy very first book and I began

(09:15):
to write my testimony for the firsttime in that book, and as I
was writing it, I was crying. The tears were flowing, and the
Holy Spirit told me, he said, the reason you were crying is because
for the very first time in yourlife, you are releasing. So that
showed me that there is power.So your voice is very powerful. The
enemy want to shunt your voice,but your voice is very powerful. And

(09:41):
I like to title it as thepower of release. We overcome by the
blood of the Lamb and the word, the spoken word of our testimony.
Absolutely, and that word release isso powerful because it releases healing in us.
It releases those things that will giveus the courage to help somebody else,

(10:03):
you know. And I think goingback to what you say in the
power of your Voice is so importantbecause if we are restricted and paralyzed from
speaking our truth and telling other peopleour stories, I believe that we're hindering
other people, you know, thesame thing that we can do to encourage

(10:26):
them now, they won't hear ourvoice to be able to be encouraged or
empowered. Right, and so that'sso important. This is just so good
and we want to be able toprovide that extra push. You know what
I'm saying. You never know whatpeople are going through, right, you
know what you can say to beable to help somebody else. And we

(10:52):
can't take our voice for granted,and we can't take you know what we
can do to you, no matterhow big or no matter how small it
is, right, I think allof it is important. We just can't
put a measuring stick out there andsay, you know, yours is better
than mine, or your story hasmore impact. But I believe that God

(11:16):
allows people to come into your lifeto speak into it, be able to
show you that you can overcome it, right, and so it it's so
powerful for that now I want youto now we know that abuse or anything
something like this challenging in our lives. It has the power to affect our

(11:39):
relationships, every area of our lifethat we can even think of, right,
our work, our financial life,our physical being, our emotional health,
our mental health, everything. Iwant to go back and talk about
specifically the relationships in your life,right and so I know that you're a

(12:03):
wife, you are a mother now, right, and so about some things
that you kind of had to dealwith and you are angry and those emotions
that along with the abuse, right, can you just kind of share how
to initially affect your life in thearea of relationships to even to even get

(12:26):
to be the wife that you areand to get to be the mother that
you are right now? Oh oh, yes, ma'am. I can definitely
answer that. So I was.I would kind of couple the sexual abuse
because I said earlier how because Iwas sexual abused, I hated sex.
And some women that have been sexualabused, they love it. It's like

(12:50):
they got to keep having it.Me, on the other hand, I
was the opposite. I hated it. So when I did get into a
relationship, I was very sheltered offfrom being in a relationship because I didn't
trust men. I did not trustmen period. I didn't want a woman,
but I definitely didn't trust a man. So I was very stand offish

(13:11):
in relationships. I would get ina relationship and then if the guy tell
me I love you, you gotto go. I mean, I'm keeping
it one hundred and So I hada problem with trusting, and I had
because I've also had been tied allmy life that all men are dogs,
they cheat, they don't care aboutyou. And then I saw how men

(13:33):
treated my mama. I knew howI was treated by men, so it
coused me to just And then whenyou got it, when I did get
into a relationship, you know,I felt like, you know, well,
maybe if they have sex with someoneelse. It a kind of saved
me a spot because I'm not verysexually active. So it had me thinking

(13:54):
that maybe, you know, Ideserved to just be treated like I you
know what I'm saying, to justsettle. But when, but when,
when I got saved, I beganto look at what a relationship is and
what love is. See, Ididn't know what true love was. So
how I got to the point thatI am now is I got saved.

(14:18):
And so when I got staved,I knew that God is loved. And
I began to grow on my relationshipwith the Lord. And so he killed
me and he delivered me from thebitterness to anger, the unforgiveness, and
I went, you know, wentthrough a journey of healing. And once
I went through my journey of healing. God blessed me with my best friend,
with my husband that I have nowbeen married to. Next morning be

(14:39):
twenty three years. And he's mybest friend. And I tell you,
I thank God for him. Ilove him, and I'm able to grow
with my friendship with him, myrelationship. And I understand and know now
what true love is and God islove. And because my husband has God
in his wa life and I haveGod in minds, we understand what love

(15:03):
is and we're both walking in thelove of God. So that's how it
is now, you know, becausewhen we've been molested or raped, it
causes so many different things. Andfor the sake of time, you know,
that's just what That's just some ofmy I can go on and on,
but that's just some of how I'vegotten to where I am today.

(15:24):
Yes, yes, so good,so good. And you know it's amazing
how the pain and the traumas thatwe have in life, it really kind
of brings on that self guilt sometimesself hate. We blame ourselves, right,
isn't that crazy? We blame ourselvessometimes or that other people have afflicted

(15:50):
on us, right, And thattakes I'm telling you, I'm a believer
too, And I know the powerof God in his ability right to sing
when you need it, right.Yeah, And you know, I know
that your husband was God sent,He was God, and I thank God

(16:15):
for him every day. He reallyshowed me what true love is. And
I'm able to I'm able to justbe a wife. I'm able to just
be a woman of God, andand I'm just able to allow him to
love me. I'm able to allowhim to love me. Yeah. Yeah,
And you know I know that healso has an assignment in all of

(16:37):
this because you know, all menmight not be able to deal with you
know, somebody's past or what hashappened to them. You know what I'm
saying, And so it takes aspecial person to be able to walk this
truth with you. And that's whatto say. You know, God knows
exactly what we need and he's goingto right. And even the Bible says

(17:02):
many are the affliction of the righteous, but deliver us from them all.
And even in our deliverance, he'llbe able to send those people that we
need, send the tools that weneed, send the encouragement that we need.
Right, and then when we getbuilt up, we go back and

(17:22):
do it for somebody else, whichis what you do. This is doing
right now, right to I wantyou to share with us some things that
you teach other women to do.What are some What is one big thing
that you teach other women to dowho have traveled this road like you have,

(17:47):
who have gone through the abuse,have gone through that pain. What
is maybe the number one thing thatthey can walk away from and know that
they can start right here, theycan start with this the number one thing
I can tell all of my clientswhen they come to me because of the
guilt and the shame. It's oneMile Angelo quote. I like some of

(18:10):
her quotes, and this is oneof my favorites. She said, you
are not what happened to you.So I tell my clients when they come
to me, Glory to God,this happened to you. But you are
not what happened to you, andwhat happened to you, and what God
has birthed in you. My favoritescripture Romans eight twenty eight. For we

(18:33):
know that all things work together forthe good of those who love God and
who are the called according to yourpurpose, to His purpose. So He
has a purpose that he birthed insideof you. You went this route.
But this wasn't for you. Thiswas for you to be able to help
some other woman overcome and come out. So when you come, and I
tell my class, when you cometo me, you coming to me,

(18:56):
I don't tell you what to do, but I get it in the trenches
with you, and I take thishealing journey with you. So I want
you to leave being comfident in God, knowing that he begun a good work
in you, knowing that He's gonnaHe'll deliver you and make you hole,
and you will be the woman ofGod that he has birth and purposed in

(19:17):
your belly. You will walk inpower, you will walk in authority,
you will walk in anointed, youshall be healed. You are here,
you are delivered, and you area made whole. Absolutely that is so
good, you know. And Iwas just getting ready. I was getting
ready to ask you. I saidto tell to say one more thing to

(19:40):
encourage somebody else that might be goingthrough it right now. But you just
encourage us. Louis right. Soif it's just one thing, one thing
that you want to leave the audiencewith, right, one thing that you
want to leave the audience with,it might be somebody out there listening today

(20:00):
or whenever they watched the replay orwhatever that is going through this. They
might know somebody who's going through this. It could be mother, brother,
you know, sister, everybody,and somebody that they know, how safe
to the audience. Something that willmaybe that somebody else who is not going

(20:23):
has not gone through it, somethingthat they can use or something that they
can say to encourage the one thatthey know that it is going through it.
So maybe they have a loved oneand they seem to not be able
to say the right thing or whateverthe case is, but they know what

(20:45):
happened to them. How can theyencourage them on that journey? Encourage them
that what happened to you, ithappened to you. It was bad,
we can't change it, but itwas for a purpose. Guy has a
purpose for your life, and youcan overcome this. God wants to heal

(21:06):
you, He wants to deliver you, and he wants to make you hold
and he wants to use you asa testimony as a witness. And that
you have to make up in yourmind because holding it in is not helpful.
But you have to make it upin your mind that today is the
day that I am going to gethelp because a lot of people don't want

(21:29):
to go to culching, they don'twant to go to therapy. But let
me tell you, even the Wordof God says that in the midst of
godly counsel there is safety. Sothere is somebody that God has anointed,
Bless God that can help. Youcan hold your hand in the spirit and
saying, look, I've overcome thisthing. You're gonna overcome this thing.
We're gonna do this together because youneed to open up your mouth and like

(21:53):
we said earlier, your voice cour'son the inside of you is not for
you, but it's to help someother woman. And make up in your
mind after you hear this video thatjust like God help me to overcome and
he brought me through, he hasno respect on person. He wants to
do that same thing for you.But make up in your mind. Today

(22:15):
is the day, and I'm gonnatake the first step and I'm gonna go
through healing deliverance and my God isgonna make me whole and I shall live
and not die and declare the worksof the Lord absolutely, and I love
that as we wrap this up,today is today, y'all, hear that
today's today, y'all, you're gonnaget free. We're gonna get set free,

(22:37):
we're gonna get healed, and we'regonna get delivered this pain that we've
been caring around some people for fifteen, twenty, thirty fifty. You know,
people have gone through and they stillgoing through because they just don't know
how. So I'm praying that thisbroadcast has brought some encouragement, has educated

(22:59):
a little bit about what things cango through our minds as we are going
through this type of pain, andthen some things that would encourage them to
make sure that hey, they cando it too, that you can.
You know, God has no respectof persons. Whatever he's done for me,
he can do for you. Whateverhe's done for Lashanda, he could

(23:21):
do it for And so I justthank you so much for being here.
And before we get out of here, I want you to share with everybody
how they can connect with you,you know, how they can follow you
on social media and all those things. Okay, yes, you can follow
me on Facebook under Lashanda Williams oryou also if you would like to speak

(23:44):
to me and want to know moreinformation about the services I offer. What
I do You can email me atLashanda l A S. H A N
d A Williams w I L LI A M S the number nine zero
at gmail dot com. Or youalso can follow me. I have a

(24:07):
Facebook group for women that I talkand teach in and encourage and inspiring and
it's called Overcoming Issues of Life.You can you can also go there and
I'll accept you into the group.And you can also follow me on my
page. My business page is calledThrive with Purpose. You can follow me
or you can like the page andthat way you will see everything I do

(24:29):
and everything I post. Okay,great, Thank you so much, Thank
you so much, y'all. Makesure you reach out to Shanda Williams and
just just just know that you canovercome. That you can overcome. And
so I thank you so much,Leshina for being here today and encouraging us

(24:53):
and with your story. Thank youso much. Thank you for having me
all right, y'all, so thankyou again for joining us on this episode
of Restore My Soul podcast. Y'all. Hear it from Lashanda today is that
you are not what happened to you. You are not what happened to you.

(25:15):
So I pray that you have foundencouragement in her story and understand that
you can overcome and your emotional wellnessjourney as well. Y'all, make sure
that you continue to follow me onsocial media at Princess Millons and my website
at Princessmillans dot com. Remember thatgrief is a journey, but you don't

(25:38):
have to walk this thing along.And remember that you are welcome here and
we will see you on the nextepisode of the Restore My Soul Podcast.
Thank you for joining another episode ofRestore My Soul Podcast. Be sure to
listen and watch each week as wecontinue the conversation on how to bounce back

(26:00):
from the setback of grief and lossand to become resilient so that you too
can thrive in life. Don't forgetto like and subscribe so that you don't
miss out on any new episodes,and share this with as many people as
possible so they can be encouraged intheir emotional wellness journey. We invite you
to follow Princess Milons on all socialmedia platforms and on the website at Princessmilins

(26:22):
dot com. Thank you for listeningand we'll see you in the next episode
of the Restoring My Soul podcast