Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
You're listening to Vancouver co Op Radio cfr OH one
hundred point five FM. We're coming to you from the
unseated traditional territories of the Squamish, Musquam and Slighway Tooth
nations around Vancouver, BC. I'm your host, Bernardine Fox, and
this is this show that dares to change how we
think about mental health. Welcome to Rethreading Madness.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
We have ever been further No, what the hell I'm
gonna do when I can't sing a fine away under over.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
You're listening to Rethreading Madness on Vancouver co Op Radio
cfr OH one hundred point five FM. I'm Bernardine Fox
and I have the pleasure today of speaking with Tavares Garrett,
who comes to us from San Francisco and is a
I'm gonna read off this list to bors that you sent.
He's a health and transformation educator. He's neurodivergent, he's a
(01:05):
motivational speaker, a mentor author, servant leader, energy giver, healer,
TV host and owner of the Body Synthesis. And to bars,
I'm going to get you to explain servant leader what
does that mean?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Hello everyone, Hello Canada. Happy to be here.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Thank you Bernard Dean for this opportunity and sharing this
space with you.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Servant leader, well, I'm not a.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Self serving leader, So a servant leader means that I
lead through serving others, lead by example. I also share
my story. I have shared, you know, the darkest parts
of me, the not so beautiful parts, as well as
the beautiful parts of me. I am one that believes
(01:52):
that the good, the bad, and the indifferent within ourselves
all contributes to who we become and who we.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Continue to thrive to be.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
So as a servant leader, that's my space, leading through,
you know, again, being an example and serving others. And
I like it. It's a lot of fun and I
get to meet a lot of different people. We get
to connect on a multitude of levels, which I completely appreciate.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, connecting with different people is one of my favorite
things to do. And if they're willing to have me
ask like a thousand questions about our differences, you know,
not everybody is. There are some people that go, why
are you asking me this? You know are different, stay
over in your corner. But when you find somebody who's
willing to do that with you, it's just exhilarating. I
(02:45):
find for sure to do that. And it's also nice
to talk to somebody who isn't needing to be right
and perfect. You know that you're able to live in
the truth of who you are. You know, whether that's
like you said, the good, bad, and the ugly and
be okay with that's I feel it's a blessed place
(03:08):
to live in.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
So correct, I agree with you.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
And you mentioned something about living and you know your truth.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
I actually have a podcast called Living Your Truth with
Tavares and it was created out of necessity. It was
a Sunday morning, beautiful Sunday, and I was having a
hard time that day, and so I turned on the
microphone and you know, I've been running my podcast now
we're in our tenth season, and it just again, out
(03:38):
of necessity. I was having a bad day. It was just,
you know, just again, beautiful day outside, but a tough
one inside of myself. But yeah, that's how the podcast started.
It's about living your truth. It's about embracing yourself as
you are, meeting yourself exactly where you are, validating who
you are for who you are, and not allowing the
(04:00):
outside world to have that kind of control over our self.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Portrait.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
So I'm all about, you know, self discovery. I'm all
about doing the hard work I have had to do
the hard work myself and transforming myself. I haven't had
any alcohol in twelve years, just about twelve years, and
that was truly probably the beginning of who you are
(04:30):
speaking to right now. Yeah, that was the beginning and
it wasn't pretty. But is it ever?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
No? But you know what, what you're kind of reminding
me of the done tons of therapy and the idea
of looking at the parts of you that you don't like,
the parts of you that maybe society considers bad parts
or bad things about you, and being able to discover
that even those parts of you are there to help
(05:05):
you survive, you know, and and not and to not
accept society's ideas of what that means about who you are,
but to embrace that and maybe find another way to
survive if you don't like what those bad I you know,
parts of you are doing. But it's so you're you're
speaking my language here. Oh so twelve years ago, So
(05:28):
tell me, I have this question about starting a podcast.
When you did that, did you have a script?
Speaker 5 (05:34):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I know, you just sat down and you started doing it.
But I know lots of people think about starting a podcast.
Did you just sit down and start talking?
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Yes, well, idea what I was, Well, I have a
great hit H H history in radio and television, so
down front of the microphone, that part came very easy, right.
I believe the challenge for me to overcome was being
so transparent.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
That's what it was.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
And I knew in that moment, if I was going
to take this next step, then I knew already that there.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Was going to be a level of transparency that I
must move with.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Now what I thought, what the listener should hear, but
what I thought about where I was in that moment
and what I was looking to achieve, what I was
looking to feel, because remember I'm having a bad day
on a beautiful day. I started this podcast. Did I
go into it with a podcast mindset?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
No?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
I went into it turning on the microphone talking about
what I was going through to me. And then of
course I was going to listen to it and play
back and just you know, see what, see what I
could pull out of what I said. And so that
went on for about an hour and ten minutes. I
writ back, I played it, I did very few edits,
(06:57):
and then I posted it. And I think that in
itself was also liberating, because fear, often if we allow it,
will dictate our decisions and choices. I believe someone that
we could point to and say, yeah, they let fear
to take their choices. And so I understood quickly that
(07:18):
fear will more than it won't be a part of
things that we want. In other words, we may have
to go through fear to get what we want.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
You can't go above it, under it, you can't go
around it.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
We must go through it, because that is where the
transformation begins to take place, or a part of it
may take place in that moment. Right, we're afraid, we
don't want to do it, we're not sure that we
can do it.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
And then oh wait, we're in the middle of it.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Now, we're in the middle of this fear and we
want with the other side and guess what, we have
to make it through. And this is where I feel
for myself. This was where, Okay, you can't turn back. Now,
you've already shared your story, you've already put it outter
to the world.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
What's next?
Speaker 4 (08:06):
And so from then on it was always about maximizing
the message being very transparent, cultivating a safe space for
people to come and listen, for my audience to come
and be one with me, and then of course for
my guests to come onto the show and for them
to be in a safe place, right them in to
(08:27):
a safe place for them to open up and share
their stories. Okay, when people come into the Body Synthesis,
our entry intake program is called CLS or a lesson, Connect, Listen, Share.
So this is the beginning of entry into the Body
Synthesis program. It's very simple, like you and I are
(08:49):
doing right now, connecting, listening and sharing, and in this space,
this is when we are able to if the other
person is willing, this is the space where we will
begin to lower the defense mechanisms and the walls that
they built up.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
So that process.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
By sharing my story and I share, I'm very transparent,
extremely transparent, because look, I want the person that I'm serving,
I want them to see me in them, and then
I'll know that I see them in me.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
And once we make that connection, slowly those walls they
come down.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
And I'm not paying much attention to just that at
the moment, though I'm very aware that they're coming down.
I'm really listening to the breathing. I'm watching the body language, right,
I'm listening to what my clients are not saying. Okay,
that's what I'm looking for because in that space there's
a whole lot of information, and so it's my job
(09:52):
to make them.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Comfortable, to make them to make it included and seeing absolutely.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
To be seen, and we're not, and it tends to
cause turmoil or turbulence in our lives.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
So right, one of the things we were going to
talk about here is building up your self esteem and
your sense of self worth. That's through writing. Can you
talk a little bit about that and we we won't
get too far into it before I have to say
we have to take a break, but if you could start,
that would be great.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Well.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Our value serve as the foundation, okay, for who we are,
influencing our decisions, shaping our character, and guiding our personal
and professional lives. So when it came to writing the
books and to turning what I'm writing into you know,
self motivation self worth, for me, it was about identifying
my strengths.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Right. My strengths are the.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Unique qualities that set me apart and enable me to
excel versus other people, and I know that, and so
through that level of transparency. Well, first vulnerability, I draw
strength from vulnerability. And when I did my first publication,
it was Kissed by the Wind, a book of Poems
and passions Value one, two, and three. I did not
(11:09):
know when I was creating well, I didn't know that
I was creating Kissed by the Wind because all of
my entries in my journal were doing the times when
I was detoxing. So Volume one is like the darkness
of my detoxing, detoxing from drugs and alcohol. Value two
is me going through the middle of the change from
(11:29):
the dark end to the light. Value three is me
coming through the middle to the end to the now
seeing light on the other side. But when I wrote
all these entries, I was going through my detox So
everything that I wrote was about was like therapeutic. But
I had to be brutally honest with myself. So some
of the poems are just you know, the riveting. You
(11:50):
know you read them and you can tell this person
is going through something. And so as time went on,
I didn't look at those entries for about two years.
I went back to the entries and I'm just reading them,
and every time I read them, I was feeling more
and more empowered.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
I felt worthy of more and more, and I believe.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
I had to see myself from a different point of view,
really did, and that is what writing did for me.
And since then I have written another, I believe seven
or so books. I've done some guides on nutrition, guides
on a better Mind, guys on you know, a better body.
I've done a couple of books on like methids like.
(12:30):
One of them is called the PFO which is Permission,
Flexibility and Options. So again, writing now is more about
the self worth, the empowerment, and then of course sharing
that with other people, right, not it for myself, but
using my story to assist others on their journey. So
(12:51):
that is my take on you know, writing about yourself,
creating the story that you may want to tell about yourself.
And for me, it was about a level of authenticity,
it was about a level of genuinity. I wanted people well,
I wanted myself to be transparent with me. And then
the cherry on top is people being able again to
(13:13):
see themselves in me and draw from my experiences. I
don't give advice, I just share my story. People are
able to, you know, take bits and pieces if they
want or if they don't want to, and then apply
that to their own solution.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
I've actually written a memoir coming to voice.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
It was.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
It was I'm a very transparent person in lots of ways,
and not transparent in a lot of ways. Writing that's well,
not transparent in that I It's not that if somebody asked,
I wouldn't say it, but there are you know, there
are times and places where you know your story is
not an appropriate share, of course, but writing that memoir
(13:58):
was both the hardest thing I have ever dead, the
realist thing I've ever done, and also the most healing
activity I have ever taken. And I'm a visual artist,
amongst being a radio host and being an mental health advocate,
and so I've done a lot of creative work, but
(14:20):
writing did something. It made me take this. It was situational.
It was a memoir about ace thing that happened to me,
and it allowed me to bring all those pieces in
the story. And once I had all the I learned
so much about myself writing that book and was able
(14:42):
to put this experience that was horrendous, a horrible, profound
betrayal and put it into a place, into a narrative
that was not only honest and real and hard to write,
but also allowed me to see it for what it
was instead of what I feared it was.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
That makes sense absolutely.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I love that, So I really relate to what you're saying.
Let me just I think we just need to take
a quick break to varus and we'll come right back
and we'll start talking about how people might be able
to take on this process, and we'll be right back.
Speaker 7 (15:20):
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Speaker 1 (15:56):
You're listening to read Ready Madness on Vancouver called Radio
one hundred point five f M. I'm speaking with Tavaris
Garrett regarding well Basically, we're about to start talking about
how to use writing to build your self esteem in
your sense of self worth. So Tavarros, can you talk
(16:17):
a little bit about how you get people to start
using writing? Okay, So so let me just ask The
first question I have is everybody who comes and says
use writing to build your self esteem as part of
your marketing and go, oh, I'm a writer, so I
can do that. Or do people come even though they're
not writers?
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Oh, people come even though they're not writers.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Because of it is based on wellness, is fit nutrition wellness?
So some people may read that and say, okay, fitness,
nutrition and wellness, though it is I believe wellness needs
to be fit and nutritious right itself, because we have
to show up to ourselves andizing our strengths allows us
(17:02):
to leverage them in our daily life and use them.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
To overcome challenges.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
So this is very important territory that we're about to
trade into here. When writing, it's important to identify our
strengths right, and we do that by reflecting on our
moments when we felt most confident and capable. So once
we identify with these moments, with these strengths. I believe
for myself it was a moment where I said to myself, Okay,
(17:26):
there is a possibility here. And in many cases, I
believe that's all we really need is to understand, Okay,
there is an opportunity here. You're saying there's a chance.
And so for myself, when I said that to myself, Okay, Tavars,
there's a chance that we can do this. Just understanding
that and being that honest with myself, I was being
empowered and you take it slow right again.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
When I wrote my.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
First publications, I wasn't writing with them in mind, and
this was just my approach. If there was one thing
I was going to share with anyone, I would say,
be very off authentic in your approach to you, because
you're telling your story, so there's no reason for anyone
to be exaggerative.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
At least I didn't want to.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
I didn't want to do that because I felt a
lot of the lessons and the learning matter was going
to be in me sharing my story as transparent as possible,
which means I had to do my own research on
like my family with you know, my mom.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
You know, I have two adult daughters and two grandsons.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
And one thing I often think about is my kids
have never asked me about life before them.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
That's true, well unless you unless you got those questions like,
you know, did you live amongst the dinosaurs?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Right? And I asked my mother.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
So that's how I realized that, Wait, you know, my
kids never have asked me, and then asking my mother.
She's a survival of domestic violence. I'm an advocate for
domestic violence as well as brain health and mental health advocate,
much like yourself. And so understanding where I came from,
understanding who my mom was before me, because we have
this thing called generational influence. So understanding those details about
(19:18):
myself really lent itself to writing a much more transparent piece.
And so the books that I've written since Kissed by
the Wind have been more focused on again nutritious, holistic
approaches to transformation right, better nutrition overall. And these things
(19:40):
really matter to me because again, fit nutrition wellness for me,
My wellness has to be fit and it has to
be nutritious, because wellness to me isn't something that you
go by. Wellness to me is something that you create
within yourself. You put together this wellness continual. It's not
like a one size fits all and it's not going
to be just one method. It won't just be one tool.
(20:02):
At least for myself. It's a continuum of wellness. I
go to the gym every day, five days a week.
I'm up at three forty five. I start off that
with a stretch, go into a meditation, Then I go
into my resistance routine.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
When I'm done with that, I have a mile run.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
After the mile run, we do another stretch, another meditation,
and now I'm ready for the day. I took the
same approach to writing, and it's because I had to
meet myself at the baseline before I allowed myself to
go out into the world and do the thing right,
you know, So writing, and then of course asking your
(20:39):
trusted friends or family or people that you work with
what they believe your strongest qualities are, because now as
a writer you get to do your own research on
you interesting, you get to ask your friends, hey, what
do you think my strongest qualities are?
Speaker 3 (20:54):
What do you think my weakest qualities are? Right? And
so again now we're doing the research these types of
questions and asking your friends, and your friends giving you
their honest answer. There's no need to get personal about this.
You take this valuable information and you utilize it.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
When I was asking friends these questions, was it awkward
at first? Of course, because this is your dear friend,
your best friend, and you want them to be very
honest with you. And many of our friends because we
have great friendships. Sometimes we'll get the honesty from them.
Sometimes we'll just get the fact that they want to
party and have fun all the time with us. Right
is that's a friend the party and the business as
(21:33):
I call it. We got friends we party with, we
got friends we do business with. And so understanding my qualities,
understanding my strengths, understanding how my personality works with others,
and then of course with the people that may be
reading my material, what lifestyle are they in? Should I
speak to only people who are in fitness? Should I
(21:55):
speak to people who are only in wellness? So, and
these are just some of the thoughts that came into play.
What I ended up doing. I took away all that
and I just spoke and I let that be the blueprint.
Very happy to say that in my case, I let
it fly. I really did. I have lived a life
where I allowed fear to dictate a lot of things
(22:17):
in my life. And now because of writing, because of
rediscovering my self worth, because of just coming together with
my strengths overall and accepting the good, the bat and
the ugly of who Tavares is, let me tell you
it's been a lovely, hard, but well worth journey.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Well worth it.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, there's something that happens when you get through and
are able to accept yourself with all your flaws and
your benefits. Your feet are on the ground in a
way that nobody can knock you over like. It's just
it's a very grounding experience to get to that place.
So I'm glad you're there.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Thank you. Sorry now I said thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
So And I just want to say to all my
listeners who might have a physical disability that what Tavaris
is explaining as his morning routine works for him, it
does not work for everybody. If it was me, Tavorro's
doing that routine with my disability, I have a physical disability,
I would be in bed for a week and a half,
maybe maybe longer. Just with your one morning routine. So
(23:28):
everybody needs to think about his morning routine and transpose
it into something that works for you and gives you
what it's been able to.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Give to Yes, thank you for saying that, Thank you
for that. Thirty.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Absolutely, I encourage anyone. First of all, hello to everyone
in your audience. And I would encourage anyone who look,
this is my routine, this is my program.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
And much like Bernardine said, formulate this to you.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
I believe we all have a way of getting the
thing done. And so so figure out what routine may
work best for you, because there's a whole lot of
things that we can also utilize, like in addition or
in lou of me going to the gym, there's walks
in the park, they're sitting in the park, there's just
remaining steadfast.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
There's meditating.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
I mean, there's so many other things that we can
do to feed our spirit, to mind, to feed the body.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
So no, we don't always have to be in the gym.
By any means, you don't have to be in the gym.
You can go to the park.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
In fact, during the pandemic, my wife and I we
actually were working out in this multi complex.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
Field where they hosted soccer games and baseball games. But
that was how we stayed conditioned, we stayed in shape.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
And it was also it was a mindset that we
were able to strengthen. You know, during the pandemic, as
many people know, you had to pivot and you had
to have a clear mind in doing so.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
At least we thought we did, and that allowed us
to stay the course.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
We couldn't go to the gym, so therefore we bought
the gym to us and we took the fields, and
so that in itself really helped us mentally.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
It helped us emotionally.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
It let us know even though we're in this predicament,
we can still perform. And that is also what I
want your listeners and anyone else who supports to show,
and myself. You always have the opportunity to perform. It's
up to you how you want to show up to
that moment. Knowing our strengths boosts confidence, which enhances decision
(25:30):
making and allows us to pursue opportunities that align with
our natural abilities. Right when I trained my dogs, I
trained my dogs to their strengths. Most people want to
just train the dog, but I up to their strengths.
I have two beautiful French, beautiful French twins named Nandy
(25:52):
and Nephie. They're twins from the same litter. In fact,
they are the only two survivors of a litter of five.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Us. They are very unique. They have their own personalities.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
And Nephie has like a three inch vertical, and so
I trained to Okay.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Sorry, I went one second. What does a three inch
vertical means?
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Put a three foot vertical? Basically the dog can jump
three feet.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Oh okay, how big is the.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Dog, Nandy or Nephie and Nandy Nephew's twenty four pounds,
Nandy is twenty five and a half.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
They've been about a pound and a half difference of each.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Other, right, right. I had a husky at one point,
I asked, I'm going to say this, just to give
people the comparison. My husky was probably about one hundred
pounds and probably, we found out later probably was part wolf.
We didn't know it at the time, but it it
could do a seven foot vertical from sitting.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I know we could not keep it in the yard.
It was hellish in some ways. But just to give
people an idea that the difference so you have a
twenty four pound I don't know that can do a
three foot vertical. That's pretty significant exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
So I share all that because again, teaching to the strengths.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
If we all taught ourselves to our strengths, I believe
that we be further along then we will then we
currently are given we want to move further along. Right
by trasly what we do, we cultivate a sense of
fulfillment and effectiveness in both our personal life and our
professional life.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Right.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
And so in this space when it comes to again
the writing, the self worth, the transparency, right, being able
to just stomach what you're about to share, know this,
it's all a part of who you are, and you
cannot get rid of it. Okay, you cannot do away
(27:54):
with it. You can say you know, you could, you
could omit, you could even lie about it. But eventually,
when it comes time for you to turn a corner in.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Your life, and you know what, you're like, I gotta
go find myself.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
But you're gonna need all those pieces of yourself that
you left behind. So get ready to go back and
get all of them, because you're gonna go into the
dark corners of your mind you're gonna have probably maybe
or maybe not relive some of those details you may
or may not again. But just understanding the strength in
(28:33):
gathering all that valuable information about myself it really put
me into a much different space.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
When it came to writing and when it came transparent.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
I have this saying that goes, there's somebody waiting for
me to show up, like always, someone waiting on me
to show up.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
And what I mean by that is, it's just my story.
It's just my story. Sharing our story may be the
difference maker of the day.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
For somebody exactly, and you never know when that's going
to happen. One of the things that I kind of
hear through what you're talking about, and we hear everywhere
is sort of this sort of meme out there almost
is be who you are, you know, And I think
that that seems really simple, but I think it might
be hard for people who I'll just make up a
(29:24):
composite person, somebody who had mental health challenges as a
teenager and was exposed to the mental health industry, maybe psychiatry,
maybe psychiatric because maybe in person psychiatric ward situations, and
they've come out of it having been given a lot
of other ideas about who they are, given to them
(29:46):
by other people or even in our society tells us
who we are all the time. You know, if you were,
you know, a red shirt, this means you're that. Then
that's of course not real. But that's kind of what
I'm talking about. You know, we have society telling us
all the time kind of who we are. And if
you have a mental health challenge, living with stigma and
living with other people's ideas, sometimes it's really hard to
(30:09):
point sort of purse out who you are as opposed
to who other people have told you you are. And
you need to listen to or else you'll never get well.
And so I'm wondering how you help folks like that
find their strengths and find those core things about themselves.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
Great question again, thanks for asking, and Bernadine. It's through listening,
it really is. It's through listening. I believe if we
listen to someone long enough, they will tell exactly what
we want to know about them.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
I've been a part of it on both sides.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
I've been the person being asked, and I've been you know,
the person asking right and oh listening listening to them,
Listen to what they're saying, inviting them into a space
to really just speak their mind. I have no problem whatsoever,
And sometimes I prefer to be a sounding board for
many of my clients because when I ask that question,
(31:06):
so what brought you here or what is it that
you're looking to achieve through the body SYNTHESI as soon
as I ask that question or any question and that
type of just laying it's almost like unplugging a balloon.
As soon as I ask that question, and once they
feel comfortable enough, the motion will begin to happen. They'll
(31:29):
start talking about this. I'll ask about that, and I'm
not so much steering them, but I'm looking for specific information. Again,
I'm listening to what they're not saying. I'm here with you,
but I'm also listening to what they're not saying. Like
if I know that they're having an issue with self
confidence and self esteem, but they're talking about, you know,
(31:51):
how they overcome challenges and they're great at this, and
they're great at that, well, I can easily say, Okay,
there's a level of deflection going on here. That about
because they're not talking about that all the great things,
and it's easier to talk about the great things, why
they're highlights. It's kind of like looking at social media
and Instagram, right, everybody one the.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Highlights of their lives.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
However, you go to Facebook and Facebook's a bit more authentic,
Facebook a bit more transparent.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Right.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
We've seen a plethora of different stories on Facebook, people
sharing just very intimate moments. And so I understand when
I work with my clients real FaceTime, one on one,
that is an opportunity for us to connect, and it's
an opportunity for me to do my part in helping
them to feel seen.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Right, And that is you know, I say this over
and over on my program and in the work I do.
The most powerful thing you can do for anybody, whether
it's your friend, your family, or somebody you're working with
them is to accept them as they are as they
come and see hear them, and see them. It's very powerful.
We need to take another break, but we'll be right
(33:05):
back books.
Speaker 8 (33:06):
Hi, folks, this is Steve ferguson your twenty first century
Schizoid Man, and I'm the host of prog Rock Alley,
inviting you to come down and listen to our show
every week at Monday one am. The very end of
the weekend. We will be looking at all forms of
progressive rock. I'm talking about space rock, art rock, math, rock, fusion, jazz.
(33:26):
You want it, I got it. Just name it, I'll
play it. We'll see you again. That's here on CFRO
one hundred point five co Op Radio, Monday mornings, one am.
Speaker 9 (33:42):
Go look me in.
Speaker 4 (33:43):
They try to tell me what I'm made the what
you know about my life?
Speaker 9 (33:50):
Love and not?
Speaker 10 (33:50):
Don't be ahad, you don't worry, honey, I'm all right.
This is hour was created, paid your husband Anja pus
and tell them see you later.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Sorry to tell you, but I am a free What
you know about me?
Speaker 9 (34:10):
What you know about me? I'm not a boy. I'm
not a girl. I am an alien, not of this world.
I have nohing you can put into words. I'm just
(34:30):
an adiot. Lo you for love, i am nothing nothing man.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Yep yep, yep yeh I if.
Speaker 5 (34:47):
Can you comprehend this art or maybe you and.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
That created And that's okay because I'm.
Speaker 10 (34:54):
A lie my mother, my dad and make me a basis.
Speaker 9 (34:57):
Sorry to tell you, but I am free. You what
you know about me? You what you know about me?
I'm not a boy, I'm not a girl. I am
an alien of this worm. I am nohing you can
(35:21):
put into words. I'm just than anything. Look you for.
Speaker 11 (35:30):
I am nothing nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing nothing.
Speaker 9 (35:43):
But I'm not a boy and I'm not girl. I
am an alien this worm. I am nohing you can
put into words.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
You're listening to Rethreading Madness on Vancouver Call up Radio
c FR one hundred point five FM. I'm Bernardine Fox,
and I'm speaking with Tavares Garrett about finding and using
writing to help build your self worth. One of the
(36:26):
things you talked about, Tavares is using your friends and
family to get feedback on your strengths and weaknesses. And
I'm going to go back to the person who's lived
a life dealing with mental health challenges, who may have
few friends and few family members who are willing to
tell them the truth. So, for instance, let's take somebody
(36:49):
who's got paranoid schizophrenia. There may be very many people
around them who don't want to tell them what they
actually think because they're afraid of them, which is a
horrible thing to say, and it's so unnecessary because it
just isn't what paranoid schizophrenia is about, but at the
same time, it is what they're dealing with. So if
(37:11):
somebody doesn't have people around them, or a plethora of
people around them to give a good cross section of
information coming back, is there another way that they might
be able to assess their own strengths and weaknesses.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
If there's not like a village around them. Well, I mean,
you have professional assistance as well. And then of course
there's self help programs and books, but I would say
if none of those are accessible, if they could find
a professional or anything like. As far as like the
(37:46):
self help stuff, I would probably lean on things like meditation, yoga, lotties.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
I would definitely lean on routines, routine helps for ADHD
individuals eight and things like that.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
So I would say, look to create a routine, a
routine that's conducive to who you are, to the things.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
That you want to see come out of your life.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
Britten to mind to Victor Mason has schizophrenia and he's
a he's a musical genius, musical genius, my goodness, has
one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard, and
so his schizophrenia tends to kick in when he doesn't
have any sleep, when he like when he's been up
(38:31):
for say more than you know, twelve hours, right, and well,
been up for more than twelve hours, and it's not
on his meds regularly. I've been around dev in a
couple of instances, one where he was manic, the other
where other people wanted to have him committed. He locked
himself in a recording studio and I was the only
(38:53):
person to talk him out of and into the hands
of professionals. That was all about being gentle, that was
all about seeing him.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
There was no room in either one of those situations.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
There was no room for judgment, There was no room
for blaming, right, I went into crisis mode. In fact,
my members and clients of the Body Synthesis they have
twenty four hour, seven day week.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Crisis access to me, and they do. I have clients
who use it.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Once you're a member of the Body Synthesis, you are
a member as for the life of the business, for
as long as the business.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Is in business.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
And so go ahead, Oh, I was just gonna like
take you back to writing. So but before we leave
this show, I want you to let people know how
they can find you in the Body Synthesis as well.
So and you can talk a little bit more about it. So,
if we're writing a book to help us build with
our self at what is one of the fastest ways
to write a book and how do you use your
(40:04):
story in branding that book?
Speaker 4 (40:07):
I would say that one of the fastest ways to
get is identifying your strengths right again, asking your friends, family,
or colleagues what they believe are strongest qualities of you.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
Understanding your motivations.
Speaker 4 (40:18):
Motivation is the driving force behind our actions, behaviors, and aspirations.
Understanding what fuels us our ambition helps us to set
goals and stay committed to them.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
So that's another thing you can explore your motivations.
Speaker 4 (40:32):
We reflect on what excites you and energizes you, what
activities make you lose track of time. These are very
important because now you can put together an outline with
bullet points in using these types of this type of information,
consider what challenge is you're willing to endure, right, What
are you willing to go through to write this book?
Speaker 3 (40:51):
What are you willing to feel to write this book?
Speaker 4 (40:53):
And start there, Identify whether your motivations are intrinsic, right
or purpose? Do they provide personal fulfillment. Again, this is
information that will be very helpful in getting you to
start the outline, or you can even start the book
with a title.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
Think about the title, be very intentional. What is this
book going to be about.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
I started my podcast Leaving Your Truth with Tavars that
will eventually be adapted into some type of guide or book.
Because I already have the blueprint, I already have the information.
It's a natural progression. So doing those things, of course,
observe what aspects of your life you consistently invest time
(41:36):
and energy into. Again, there's valuable information in these spaces
if we take the time to look into them, because
we all have a story that's to be written and
told about you making the time, us making the time
writing down this outline, writing down some bullet points, and
then getting after it.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
And you don't have to do it all in one day.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (41:59):
You can take bite sized steps to this, small steps,
big results. Okay, I'll say it again, small steps, big results.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
You can how does those translate? How does a small
step turn into a big result?
Speaker 4 (42:14):
A small step of something like I'm going to write
one paragraph entry per day for the next five days.
The result is now you have a whole chapter. That's
the big result. Where somebody may want to write the
whole chapter in the night, and that could be difficult,
It really could.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
You can get you know, brain fog. Anything can happen.
But if we take the time. This is about remember,
being patient with ourselves, showing ourselves grace. That's why a
paragraph a day. At the end of five days, you
have a chapter. And now you get to go back reflect,
look at that chapter, fine tune it if you want,
because remember we got to get to the first draft
(42:54):
and even that take time. The first chapter.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
So how do you how do you help people deal
with things like, you know, the the self doubt that
comes in, like who's going to read this? Who even
cares about my story? You know, what if I can't
what if I can't do the grammar and the punctuation right,
Like what if nobody buys my book? What if? You know?
(43:19):
All of that's you know, horrible crap that comes in
and gets in your way. How do you help people
move beyond that?
Speaker 4 (43:28):
I help them to recognize those patterns, right, I help
them to identify the reoccurring emotional triggers and how they
their actions If we are able to recognize those patterns,
we are able to interrupt those patterns. So that's what
I share with them. Recognize those patterns. What's that look like?
Get into your journal, talk to yourself, write it out
(43:49):
right there? Okay, today I noticed this. I noticed when
I dropped this glass, I was really agitating more so than.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Just dropping the glass. What's that about? How can I
get to that? Also?
Speaker 4 (44:01):
Notice how we handle stress, conflict, and success. Do we
respond consistently in certain ways? Are we reacting versus responding
a lot of helpful information right there? And then of
course reflecting on the past mistakes and achievements to see
you know, other common themes and decision making. Remember, we're
looking to recognize these patterns. If we recognize the patterns,
(44:23):
we can interrupt the patterns and we could re establish
them with more of a modern day approach.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
Right, So tell me how you interrupt the pattern.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
The pattern is you recognize it.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
First, you recognize it, and then you want to implement
something that counter acts that pattern. Just like I said,
I recognize the pattern and I'm getting stressed out. I
want to stop recognize the pattern, and I want to
do something that's going to counteract that. And in this case,
I take a breath, literally about what I'm doing and
(44:55):
take a breath counter five.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
I do it all the time.
Speaker 4 (44:58):
Close my eyes, go into a dark room, five seconds,
close my eyes, center reset, And then, of course one
of my favorites, Tavaris's famous mirror talk. By positive self talk,
you go into the mirror and you talk to yourself.
My belief is, since we are energy, you break the
humanbody down.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
We're atoms and molecules.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
Since we're going to the mirror, you talk to yourself,
you're feeding energy into your reflection, which is feeding energy
right back into you. So if I'm talking to myself
in the mirror and I'm saying, tavoris, you know what,
You're gonna have a great day. You gonna check these boxes,
you gotta make it happen, and we're gonna leave the
day done, everything be cleared out. So I'm hyping myself up, yes,
(45:39):
but I'm also being very transparent with myself. I'm telling myself, Hey,
we're gonna go here and knock got this. You cross
these t's, dot these eyes. My ability to be intentional
about my personal growth will be a lot more stronger
if I'm willing to look at myself and say these
things to myself because not only am I saying them,
(45:59):
but myself conscious is registering them.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Right now, what kind of ties into the idea that
and this is about exercise? And like, like somebody, I
don't know, they hurt their foot or something and they
couldn't go to practice. But if they I'd probably say
this wrong. But if they imagine themselves playing the game
and practicing and doing the exercises, it actually had in
(46:23):
some ways the same impact, the same physical impact as
if they'd gone to the practice and correct And it's
it's along the lines of affirmations which I absolutely believe in.
So let me let me just ask you maybe some
like weird questions. So if you're standing in front of
the mirror and I do this because not everybody knows
(46:43):
how to do what you're doing, and so they might
stand in front the mirror and all they can say is,
I'm really afraid. What would you like? I'm going to
list off a few things. If you were feeling fear
about what you were doing, what would you say to
yourself in the mirror?
Speaker 4 (46:58):
Okay, So I'll go quick back to the self awareness
so self awareness of behavioral patterns allows us to break
the unhealthy, the unhealthy cycles, and the positive ones right.
It also empowers us to take control of our personal growth.
That also allows us to ensure the actions aligned with
our long term goals. So if I'm in the mirror
and I'm dealing with someone who's scared, I let them know,
(47:21):
or myself, or use myself as an example here, I'll
just look, I'll observe. I want to see myself being scared.
I'm taking inventory of this because I'm gonna use this
as fuel. So I'm taking energy or taking inventory. And
sometimes I have clients who look in the mirror and
I let them know. If you have nothing to say,
(47:42):
then that's okay because it's a process. And sometimes we
look in the mirror and you know what, it just
may be one of them days where we actually don't
have nothing to say. So I don't want anyone to
make themselves say something for the sake of using Tavaris's
famous Marior talk, not at all.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Because just to observe yourself, you're using.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
It, right, And that is one of the things that
we all need to recognize is that language isn't always
what we say what we do, it's how we say it,
it's how we look, it's all of those things. We
need to stop. I'm sorry, I hate to say that,
but because I'd like to, you know, continue talking for
a couple more hours. But tell us a little bit
(48:24):
about the body synthesis. You've mentioned it a couple of times.
What is that tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (48:28):
The body synthesis is mind, body, spirit, nutrition.
Speaker 4 (48:33):
Those are the four pillars of the We mitigate health
risks through preventive medicine coaching.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
What is that? It's very simple. We answer the call
for ourselves. We don't wait till we get sick. We
do things to keep ourselves ready, as I like to say,
and so the body synthesis does that. We use holistic
approaches to medicine.
Speaker 4 (48:54):
We use your information in terms of your history, where
you're going in life, you do for a living, what
your lifestyle is like, you went to the party life.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
We use all these things to create a one of
one plan. And that also differs.
Speaker 4 (49:10):
Are you coming to the body synthesis for fitness, Are
you coming to the body synthesis for nutrition in better
ways to acquiring that, or are you coming to the
body synthesis for my body spirit or a spiritual enlightenment course.
Speaker 3 (49:26):
We also provide that so knowing.
Speaker 4 (49:28):
The four pillars of the body synthesis, because we believe
it all is tailored around mind, body spirit nutrition. If
we have those four I'll call them buckets. If four
of those buckets are always full, then I feel like
the individual that takes a part of the body Synthesis
is living a much more fulfilling life. And not only
are they living a much more fulfilling life, but we
(49:48):
also provide them with the tools to sustain that fulfilling life.
So it's not coming to the body synthesis. We show
you some cool tools, we do them with you, and
then we send you on your way. No, I also
hold weekly workshops that are at no additional costs. Remember,
once you're in the body Synthesis, you're in it for life,
(50:10):
So you get to take advantage of the weekly workshops,
you get to take advantage of any pop up seminars
that may do as well. Because I enjoy and we
enjoy constantly providing value and even more value. Our clientele
base loves that, and we love them for loving that.
So it's always about providing value and good value, right
(50:33):
not just value to It's not a money grab. It's
really more additional tools to sustain of fulfilling life because
I want them to have the tools even if I
am not there on the phone with them or in
person with them.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
Right, can you tell folks where they can find out
more information about you or contact you?
Speaker 4 (50:52):
Yes, you can contact me at the bodysynthesis dot com.
Email me info at the bodysynthesis dot com. Thhe body
traditional spelling synthesis as.
Speaker 3 (51:02):
Why and as a nanci ts and Tom h.
Speaker 4 (51:05):
E s as and samisthebodysynthesis dot com and feel free
to sign up for our newsletter as well. Right there,
and look, I thank you Bernardine absolutely all of your listeners.
Hello Canada. Nothing but love from the Bay Area. And
you know my final thoughts would be something like exploring
our values is an ongoing journey that requires a lot
(51:27):
of self reflection, honesty and intentionality. By our strengths and
understanding our motivations, we recognize our behavioral patterns and we're
able to align those with a.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
More authentic version of ourselves.
Speaker 4 (51:42):
Right, we empower ourselves and we live a graded life
of clarity and purpose when we are more intentional about
our personal growth. So everyone a wonderful day, love yourself
and love each other, and continue to live your truth.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Thank you to Bars. That was wonderful. And yeah, and
I hope San Francisco is enjoying some really wonderful weather.
And it's okay, it's okay. Well, I live in a rainforest,
so today it's wet but not rainy. So so thank
(52:20):
you to Bars and we'll be right back books.
Speaker 5 (52:35):
I found myself in a sea of busy places, in
a world of blowry faces. I found myself on the
edge of insanity, per feun I fly. My heart was beating,
(53:08):
barely breathing, but still alive. Last long the way I'd
given up.
Speaker 9 (53:16):
My fire.
Speaker 1 (53:19):
Scattered to piece.
Speaker 10 (53:21):
It's all along the floor.
Speaker 5 (53:25):
Within the broke, and ASA found something more. I found
myself in the sea of basic places, in the world
of blurry faces. I found myself on the edge of insanity.
Speaker 9 (53:54):
I found I've found me.
Speaker 5 (54:05):
I was broken, torn a pot, Scars lined my arms
on my sleeve.
Speaker 9 (54:14):
I want my home fare from my me. What is reading.
Speaker 5 (54:24):
No longer kneeding paint to fe And I found myself
in the sea of pairs of places in the world
of very faces, and I found myself on the edge
(54:51):
of insanity. I fell, I found me.
Speaker 3 (54:57):
I found mas.
Speaker 5 (55:02):
In the sea, appasic places in the world blurry faces.
Speaker 9 (55:10):
I found.
Speaker 5 (55:15):
On the edge of insanity. I found how you found me?
That I found myself in the sea e basic places
in the world of blurry faces.
Speaker 9 (55:34):
Yes, I found my sense.
Speaker 5 (55:40):
On the edge of insanity. I found I found the.
Speaker 12 (55:59):
Tune of yup quigate euons Queen Sna. Hi, everybody, my
name is quigate Ywon's. I'm a member of the Squamish
Nation and the Yaglanis Klan of the Hyda Nation. You're
listening to co Op Radio CFRO one hundred point five FM.
We live, work play and broadcast from the traditional ancestral
and unseeded territories of the Musquiham, Squamish, and Slavetooth nations.
Speaker 1 (56:22):
You've been listening to Rethreading Madness on Vancouver co Op
Radio cfr oh one hundred point five FM. I'm Bernardine
Fox and that's our show. I hope you enjoyed that
conversation with Tavars Garrett about building self worth as much
as I enjoyed having it with him. My thanks to
Tavars for sharing his knowledge and skill with us. Music
today was by Sherry Ulrich and Cleandending and Omar Rudberg.
(56:44):
But as always, our thanks goes out to you for
joining us today. Stay safe out there. You've just listened
to Rethreading Madness, where we dare to change how we
think about mental health. We air live on Vancouver co
Op Radio cfr OH at five a FM every Tuesday
at five pm, or online at co opradio dot org.
(57:05):
If you have questions or feedback about this program, we
want to share your story or have something to say
to us, we want to hear from you. You can
reach us by email Rethreading Madness at co opradio dot org.
This is Bernardine Fox. We'll be back next week.
Speaker 2 (57:21):
Until then, when I've ever been further, No, what the hell.
Speaker 9 (57:29):
I'm gonna do?
Speaker 2 (57:32):
When I can't see?
Speaker 9 (57:34):
Fine the way under over to.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
Just want I'm ready to give the light. There you
are when we turn out the lights in It's sorry,
it's all right, go to it will be all right.
Speaker 9 (58:02):
Why do I always believe but when you're.
Speaker 2 (58:05):
Telling me everything's gonna be all right?
Speaker 10 (58:12):
Yeah, Why don't I wonder?
Speaker 9 (58:20):
How you know?
Speaker 2 (58:23):
Surely you don't have all of the facts.
Speaker 9 (58:28):
You could be.
Speaker 5 (58:29):
Just making it up.
Speaker 2 (58:33):
Why don't I ever think of that? It's some kind
imagic in.
Speaker 6 (58:40):
The words that you breathe saying, baby, take it from me,
it's all right, it's all right, don't too real, be alright.
Speaker 9 (58:57):
Why do I always believe then when.
Speaker 10 (59:00):
You tell everything's gonna be afraid, everything's gonna be afraid
than anyone else.
Speaker 2 (59:15):
It's such a cliche, just words people say to be nice.
Speaker 9 (59:23):
Somehow, and na far from you. I'm convinced your.
Speaker 2 (59:54):
We're not weary, and so time
Speaker 5 (01:00:00):
Won