May 11, 2025 • 60 mins
Mad Pride Art Café 2025 with Richard Lett, CR Avery, and Lea Taranto
Trigger Warning: some of the language used in creative material may be offensive to some people.
These three artists performed live at the Mad Pride Art Café at the Gathering Place in downtown Vancouver, BC. Richard brought his particular form of comedy and spoken word. CR performed musical/spoken word pieces that can only be heard to fully appreciate. And Lea gave us a reading from her new book A Drop in the Ocean.
Music: Shari Ulrich, Shawn Mendes, Jelly Roll, and Scott
Trigger Warning: some of the language used in creative material may be offensive to some people.
These three artists performed live at the Mad Pride Art Café at the Gathering Place in downtown Vancouver, BC. Richard brought his particular form of comedy and spoken word. CR performed musical/spoken word pieces that can only be heard to fully appreciate. And Lea gave us a reading from her new book A Drop in the Ocean.
Music: Shari Ulrich, Shawn Mendes, Jelly Roll, and Scott
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
You're listening to Vancouver Corp Radio cfr O one hundred
point five FM. We're coming to you from the unseated
traditional territories of the Squamish, muscream and Slighvey tooth nations
around Vancouver, BC. I'm your host, Bernardine Fox, and this
is this show that dares to change how we think
about mental health. Welcome to Rethreading Madness.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
We have ever been further No, what the hell I'm
gonna do when I can't see a fine away.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Under Over.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
We hustle down to the gathering place for the twenty
twenty five Mad Pride Art Cafe, where Richard lets Her
Avery and Leah Toronto graced us with their creative entertainment.
We will warn you as a part of that there
are times when the language used in that creator may
not be appreciated by everyone. And the sound quality was
a little off as we were recording on location.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
We apologize for that.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Hey, did you know Red Eye has a podcast? You
can tune in to Red Eye every Saturday morning from
ten am to noon, and now you can catch our
interviews anytime. Look for the Red Eye podcast on iTunes,
tune in radio, or a host of other podcast apps,
or you can check out our latest episode right on
our website co op radio dot org slash Redeye.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
You're listening to Rethreading Madness on Vancouver co Op Radio
CFRO one hundred point five FM. We're coming to you
from the gathering Place in downtown Vancouver on location for
the Mad Arts Cafe, and am about to talk with
Richard Lett. So you're a stand up comedian an actor. True,
and it says that you're known for comedy focusing on
(01:54):
drug and alcohol recovery. And at some point you were
banned from a lot of a lot of places.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
So let's talk about that. How come what happens?
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Well, I'm you know, I'm an addict, I'm you know, alcoholic,
and I you know, and that lends itself to all
sorts of bad choices.
Speaker 7 (02:18):
I think.
Speaker 8 (02:20):
Me being.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
Banned from comedy rooms had as much to do with
my you know, provoking style, but all I didn't present
very well when I'd been drinking or using.
Speaker 8 (02:37):
And then.
Speaker 7 (02:39):
Just a couple of years ago.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
I took to stealing to make my living when I
was homeless and out there, and so you know, that
really undermines people's sense of safety.
Speaker 7 (02:57):
If somebody's around that might be sealing from me.
Speaker 6 (03:01):
It's a pretty gross thing to do, yes, But when
you know, I mean the drug induced psychosis of you know,
just thinking that rules don't apply to you, or that
you're justified in doing it, or.
Speaker 7 (03:20):
That you're smarter than anyone else, or anything like.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
That can give you those ideas.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
They sure do.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
Like I say, you know, I talked about I ended up,
you know, using crystal math, which is horrible stuff, but
you know it it gives you the energy to just
you know, go and you know, escape and not really care.
(03:49):
It's probably the most damaging thing about that drug is
it undermines your ability to understand what you're doing.
Speaker 7 (04:00):
Is wrong, and that should be enough of a reason
not to do it.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Right.
Speaker 7 (04:05):
You live in another dimension.
Speaker 6 (04:07):
You know, a place of you know where they're very grandiose.
Speaker 7 (04:11):
I kind of thought I.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Was like the Pink Panther, you know it, just this
amazing pather, the person or Pink Pathered the cartoon.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
Well they were both burglars, they were yeh, famous.
Speaker 7 (04:25):
So I saw myself as this kind of elegant thief.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
I stole from you know, hotel lobbies and you know,
took paintings and all sorts of things. So and I,
you know it, eventually was caught and charged with that.
I the sort of punishment that I got was pretty minor.
Speaker 7 (04:50):
I was.
Speaker 6 (04:52):
Not allowed to go into Holt Renfrews or Apple stores.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Wow. How do they make sure, well.
Speaker 7 (05:00):
You know, face recognition or or if you go in
there again.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
And the catch is stealing again, then they go, ah,
now we're going to throw you in general.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So were you always a kind of were you funny
when you were a kid?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (05:17):
Yeah, I used comedy as a you know, sort of
social lubricant and know I.
Speaker 7 (05:22):
Was, you know, the class clown and that sort of.
Speaker 6 (05:26):
Thing, and it always had kind of a funny way
of expressing myself. So I was actually a school teacher,
an drama teacher initially after graduating from university. But then
comedy clubs started opening up and I tried that and
I was successful at it rather quickly.
Speaker 7 (05:47):
It became you know, someone that you know.
Speaker 6 (05:51):
Often takes a long time for people to evolve from
their first open mics to headline shows, but for me,
it was just a couple of years. So yeah, I
was sort of born to do it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
As a comic do you always do not just you,
but other comics.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Do you always use your own.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Personal story that? Does that make it share? Or is
that just because that is something you know and you
can twist it to make it funny? Am I saying
that asking the right question?
Speaker 7 (06:25):
I think?
Speaker 6 (06:25):
So, you know, we draw from our own experiences most writers,
and writing stand up is a form of writing, so
we're always, you know, drawing from what's going on, you know. Plus,
you know, there's a uniqueness to, you know, talking about
your own life.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
If you just sort of talking about.
Speaker 6 (06:49):
What everybody else is talking about from a sort of
a large, you know, sort of framework of what people
think and feel, then it gets, you know, pretty typical,
pretty stereotypical, and nothing too original about it.
Speaker 7 (07:06):
So one of the ways to maintain an.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
Originality is to just draw from your own experiences.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
You performed at the fringe, yes, many times, many times.
He did one called hard to Kill.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I'm not a stranger to the fringe only because I
was a state.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Mom to a kid that was acting oh okay, and
so I.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Sort of behind the scenes of theater a lot, but
naturally tell us about.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Hard to Kill.
Speaker 6 (07:33):
Well, that was when I had, you know, gone through
some dire experiences. That was right in the middle of COVID,
so there was you know, this it was rather a
peculiar situation because you know, there was the first phase,
but I guess I called it and then and then
there was a bit of a break where we were
(07:55):
able to do shows, but everybody had to sit at
a distance and I couldn't cross the line getting too
close to the audience. But anyway, I had COVID, you know,
a few months before that, so then you know it
started writing jokes about that, and then you know, I
dealt with I had recovered from the cancer about a
(08:16):
decade before that, and I was also you know, in
recovery from addiction. So it just seemed like I had
a whole bunch of stuff that could killed me that didn't.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
So you took a really dire situations and made something funny.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
Yes, this is that's what we do.
Speaker 8 (08:34):
You know.
Speaker 6 (08:34):
There's that old expression, you know, tragedy plus time equals comedy.
So you know, whatever situation you're in, you know eventually
you're going to have to make light of it. I
think that's a very natural experience that people have, whether
it's you know, whether you're a comedian or not that
(08:56):
you know, you go through a very hard situation and
then as time goes on, you're able to talk about
it and you're sharing a light situation, and we tend to,
you know, sort of make bits when I explain to people, you.
Speaker 7 (09:11):
Know, how you write material.
Speaker 9 (09:13):
You know, it's a very natural thing that so you
go to the dentists and it's you know, not a
good experience, and so you tell someone about it, and
then you tell another person, and which is by the
third time you've told it, you've started writing it.
Speaker 7 (09:29):
You're imitating the receptionist's.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
Voice and you're you know, coming up and maybe you're
changing the order a bit so that it flows better.
Speaker 7 (09:38):
And we just sort of naturally are storytellers.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
So that's, you know, genuinely what happens is that we
you know, by the time you know, we've told it
a few times, you know, we know where the laughs are,
so we wait for them.
Speaker 7 (09:53):
And everyone does that except maybe accountants.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Well it's from my d me of being in the
room with anybody who's a mental health consumer, somebody who's
lived with mental challenges, but there's no therapist in the room,
and then our humor that comes out in that time
is absolutely brilliant.
Speaker 7 (10:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Sure, you know, you couldn't do it with a therapist
in the room. They might lock you up because they
think you're really not sup.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
They would lecture you for being you know, minimizing or
saying that, you know, oh you shouldn't talk about yourself
that way, or all these.
Speaker 7 (10:34):
Sorts of things.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Yes, yes, and that's the title of our program. We're
threating madness.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
You know where we we take on our own names,
you know, our own labels. We recreem them so crazy
and mad and psycho and whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
That's you know, people have their own choices. What are
you doing tonight? What are we going to hear?
Speaker 7 (10:53):
Well, I'll be uh.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
You know, I won the National Poetry Slam. I don't know,
I guess over a decade ago now, But so I
spent a lot of time doing slam poetry.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
So I have.
Speaker 6 (11:11):
Spoken word is the sort of umbrella for all sorts
of things, stand up comedy being one of them, slam
poetry being another.
Speaker 7 (11:20):
So you know, I'm gonna do a.
Speaker 6 (11:23):
Couple of poems to sort of bookend the show, and
then I'll do some comedy about what's going on in
the world, and my observation of things, reflection on my
whole life is as a single dad, you know, my
you know, battles with you know, drug addiction and alcoholism
(11:45):
and you know, so you know that it's something I've
been doing for for a long time. Once I got
into recovery, then it didn't take long for people asking
me to do shows would be part of events where
I could you know, sort of make fun of or
lightening the mood, you know, as it were. So this
(12:09):
is just another experience I was asked to do this.
Speaker 7 (12:14):
You know.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
The guy that's producing the show saw me perform in
another event and so you know, he asked me if
i'd come along.
Speaker 7 (12:22):
To do that.
Speaker 6 (12:23):
So you I'll be trying to you know, talk about
what's going on in the world.
Speaker 7 (12:29):
Is pretty chaotic right now.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
It is chaotic.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Well, thank you Richard for giving me your time, and
I'm to look forward to sharing you tonight.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Sure, I'm glad to have you here, and we'll be
right back.
Speaker 10 (12:42):
Folks one, two, two thirty three, three fifteen, three thirty three,
(13:05):
forty five, three fifty six, seven eighty.
Speaker 7 (13:09):
Nine four am.
Speaker 11 (13:10):
And I can't sleep inside my head now in much
too deep. No way, I'm dozing off with all these
meetings and arguments, all these things that go on in
this very busy place.
Speaker 7 (13:20):
I call my brain. Four ten.
Speaker 11 (13:25):
Half the world has no access to safe drinking water,
but everybody has access to Coca Cola. They killed orson wells.
They crash g is for exposing meiocrity four fifteen They
who is they?
Speaker 8 (13:46):
Am? I?
Speaker 7 (13:47):
They are? They?
Speaker 12 (13:49):
They?
Speaker 7 (13:52):
Four twenty five.
Speaker 11 (13:54):
My teasing yawns are like false labor eyelids. Shout out
the darkness, brightness, Dallas afternoon beneath my lips. It was
Kennedy's death that wakened fear to us, my generation.
Speaker 7 (14:08):
X y z Z whatever.
Speaker 11 (14:11):
Fucking Americans, USA, USA unlimited.
Speaker 8 (14:16):
Supply of assholes.
Speaker 11 (14:21):
When I was three and a half, Fat November cracked
my whole family. Up TV repeated footage of his funeral
so much I said, there goes Kennedy again.
Speaker 7 (14:32):
I couldn't sleep that night.
Speaker 11 (14:34):
Or started under false pretenses on color TV till I
was twelve.
Speaker 12 (14:38):
Charlie crouched in the jungle.
Speaker 7 (14:40):
Shit still only psychone. They're still there.
Speaker 11 (14:44):
He's all gone, gone gone. Four thirty three A smart
bomb bang, Dad went Sleepless Night when I was thirty
and nine to eleven, New York, when I was forty,
Weapons of mass de section Rita Michelle, not a hurricane,
next wife, Tsunami, Bali in Pakistan, Ruanda, Somalia, Beirut, Palestine,
(15:10):
made and Hastings four forty eight, and the talispill four
fifteen and the iron is still on four fifty four
and twenty seconds.
Speaker 7 (15:25):
I don't have an iron four fifty nine.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And that was Richard Lapp, comedian reciting his poem in Sonia.
Speaker 7 (15:52):
I am not okane.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
I'm barely getting man.
Speaker 13 (15:58):
I'm losing track, good days, losing sleep, and.
Speaker 14 (16:05):
I am not okay.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
I'm hanging on the rails.
Speaker 13 (16:11):
So if I say I'm fan no w I learned
to hode, it will.
Speaker 14 (16:18):
How No I came baby, only one who's holding off
of you, lie.
Speaker 12 (16:30):
Dying, no dying.
Speaker 15 (16:32):
Know when it's all said at time, I'm not okay,
but it's all gonna be all right.
Speaker 14 (16:42):
It's not okay, We're all gonna be all right.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
I wool up to day.
Speaker 15 (16:58):
I almostaining me get the devil my.
Speaker 14 (17:02):
Back and voices in my head.
Speaker 7 (17:07):
Some dez, it ain't all bad.
Speaker 16 (17:10):
Some days it all gets worse.
Speaker 14 (17:13):
Some Jesus swear I'm badd then in the dirt. I
know I came by only one who's holding off of again.
But God knows, I know.
Speaker 15 (17:35):
When it's all said a time, I'm not okay, but
it's all gonna be all right. It's not okay, but
if we're all gonna be all right, gonna be all right,
(17:56):
gonna be off. I know one day we'll see the.
Speaker 13 (18:07):
Other side the pain on our shoven in a holy
wire time, and we all gonna be all right.
Speaker 14 (18:19):
How no hold pocat b the only one.
Speaker 8 (18:25):
Who's holding off of the.
Speaker 15 (18:31):
But God know, time know when it's all said and time,
I'm not okay, but its song gonna be all right.
It's not okay, but we're all gonna be all right.
I'm not okay, but its song gonna be all right.
Speaker 12 (19:00):
To east Man is what Spotstein is to New Jersey.
Speaker 16 (19:04):
Give up the mong one mona phloso.
Speaker 12 (19:07):
Cy I away. This is als.
Speaker 17 (20:01):
Sylvie, a little water, a little water Sylvie.
Speaker 18 (20:18):
And well.
Speaker 17 (20:22):
Roun Sylvie case Rona.
Speaker 12 (20:33):
You see running Sylvie.
Speaker 19 (20:38):
A little water, And who.
Speaker 12 (21:47):
Was Gusie Silsie?
Speaker 1 (22:03):
You listen to recreting Madness on Vancouver called Radio cfr
oh one hundred point five f M. I'm brenading Fox
here with cr Avery, who has been just entertaining us
through the Mad Arts Cafe down at the Gathering Place.
Speaker 20 (22:16):
I'll welcome cr now ging sacr.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Do I say, cr.
Speaker 21 (22:20):
Avery'm just Corr?
Speaker 4 (22:24):
And do you like being called by your initials?
Speaker 8 (22:26):
Or it was just well, I like hokey pokey, but
it just never caught on.
Speaker 20 (22:32):
I'm gonna tell you what I wrote when you were
playing this now you.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
You put on a song.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I think it's a song that has it basically takes
people on an emotional journey and you really don't have
any choice.
Speaker 20 (22:47):
But to follow you along wherever you're going. It was very,
very powerful, and.
Speaker 22 (22:54):
I don't I know.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
I got this little blurb about what you do.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
It said many genres of blues, hit pop, smoking word
on rock and roll, and I can't tell what it
was you did. It seems to be a mixture of
all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
So what would you call what you just did?
Speaker 21 (23:14):
What I did right now? Because it was an upright
piano that was slightly out of tune. So that was
my slightly out of tune dance okay.
Speaker 20 (23:26):
But you played harmonica, yeah, the heart you did spoken word?
Speaker 7 (23:30):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Would you say you sang bring? I'm not sure.
Speaker 21 (23:36):
Wow, I'm trying to think what I did. Oh yeah,
well it's true I was rapping, wasn't it.
Speaker 8 (23:45):
Yeah. I sang a chorus though. Yeah. It was like
Bismarcky singing out in John.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
So tell me, is R what inspires on your piece?
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Your stuff is so raw, and you need what what
what happens inside you to inspire you to create a
new Paine.
Speaker 21 (24:05):
I think it's to use the aligne that you overhear
or that just kind of pops up. I remember my
father talking about a farmer where we grew up, and
his wife left him and the farm and I don't
know if there was kids involved and then and he
(24:28):
hadn't remarried and he was older, and I don't even
know if my dad was telling me or talking to
my mom. But then he had the phrase, well once
burned twice shy, and I was like, goddamn.
Speaker 8 (24:40):
And so I just liked that phrase, and then it,
you know, I wrote a song.
Speaker 21 (24:46):
And I think that's what's fun about traveling about or
just keeping your ears to the ground because everyone's got
those you know, you know I play I open with
the lead Belly song I led Belly, So led Belly
is a was a blues musician. And it was cool
(25:07):
because last night I was in Calgary and I was
just with this guy, Mike, and we were having a
drink watching the sunset, and we talked about how much
Nirvana is Unplugged album because he likes metal and death
metal and and I listen to other stuff. But we
both had this common ground with Nirvana, And for me,
(25:28):
it was because he ended that recording in New York
with an old blue song written by led Belly.
Speaker 8 (25:37):
He sings, It's so marvelous.
Speaker 21 (25:40):
But I just think, yeah, you keep your ear to
the ground for lines like that, but also the songs
that have already been done.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
What are you hoping to express in your music?
Speaker 8 (25:50):
Nothing?
Speaker 20 (25:50):
Nothing, So you have no message, you have no no intent,
just no, I'm just gonna get paid. Well, there you go.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It says you've written and directed six hip hop operas,
and I will tell you my brain kind of squishes
at the concept of a hip hop opera. What is that?
Speaker 21 (26:14):
Well, I mean, you know what a rock opera is, Yes,
so it's that but with hip hop. Okay, I saw
this cool thing just really showing in America when when
it went from opera to the musical. And one of
the big things that I saw on that was after
(26:37):
the war, people did not want to hear German operas
in America, and you know, Duke Allington was blowing up
in jazz and but people still wanted a big show
like an opera.
Speaker 8 (26:49):
And then that's how the musical was born.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
I did not know that.
Speaker 21 (26:52):
And so about you know, I mean you've heard of Hamilton, Yes,
you know that was a cat taking it, you know,
and his first one was in the Heights, So yeah,
he's a he's a cool I mean, it's not exactly
my jive, but I respect the shit out of it
because he took it to pretty beautiful level.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Musical theater is great. I like musical theaters. Right, How
do you feel that your.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Work is important to say it a mad pride movement,
because that's where we are.
Speaker 21 (27:20):
We're in a mad artsfa Well come on now, I mean,
we'll keep drawing these lines.
Speaker 8 (27:26):
But I mean that's what the arts is.
Speaker 21 (27:32):
I mean, Jesus, you know, same people, same people, don't
cut off their ears, same people don't leave home at
fourteen with no money in their pocket because they heard
they heard.
Speaker 8 (27:44):
Well not even desperate, but just you know the Cararac thing.
Mad to live.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
They say one and two.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Now, Harvard did a study and Canada has put it
on their website as a stat that one and two
of us will have a mental health challenge in our lifetime.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
So you really, when you get to that stat, it
starts to question who's.
Speaker 20 (28:04):
Normal and.
Speaker 8 (28:07):
What is normal and what is yeah and all scenarios.
Speaker 21 (28:13):
You know, if everyone in that room had been drafted
or would we what would the vibe be in there?
Speaker 8 (28:20):
Quite a bit different, right? You know, my father's dying
right now of cancer.
Speaker 17 (28:24):
HM.
Speaker 8 (28:25):
And I just spent three months in a gated.
Speaker 21 (28:27):
Community, you know, cleaning up a packing up a house,
you know, and you know it's like it's like with
anything people.
Speaker 8 (28:37):
But I would never do that. Well, let's put your
back against the wall. Who knows what you would do exactly?
And so and that's why folk music is beautiful.
Speaker 21 (28:48):
You know, Dylan and Woody and led Belly too, they
they there were stories mm, so you would think, like,
you know, I remember.
Speaker 8 (28:57):
I had a dear friend.
Speaker 21 (29:00):
I don't want to tell this story, not really, but
it was just a rock star on Hastings Street and
he's smoking a joint, looking around at the people and going,
you know, how did that happen? And I was like,
you're a famous person's son, you have no idea, But
the great folk song showed us.
Speaker 8 (29:22):
It's these roads that lead us here.
Speaker 23 (29:25):
You know.
Speaker 21 (29:25):
And that's what inspires me more than anything in this world,
is watching like Ali should have been crushed, you know,
when he threw his metal over the bridge, when he
came back to American and his gold medal meant nothing.
He should have been crushed after he changed his name
from Cassius Clay to Ali.
Speaker 8 (29:44):
Should have been crushed when he refused to fight in
the war.
Speaker 21 (29:48):
He should have been crushed when he got Parkinson's This
mofo jes kept charging.
Speaker 8 (29:55):
And and I think it's important.
Speaker 21 (29:57):
I love the Bob Dylan line busy being born is
busy dying. And then there's the other line in the song,
I could just be one more person crying. Life is hard,
And what what pulls me to eat if paf people
though I don't know what she's saying, is I hear
her pain and you see cats.
Speaker 8 (30:16):
On the reserve or cats in Spain with nothing in
their pockets. Still hear Hank William's voice.
Speaker 21 (30:24):
As a as a as a lightning bolt of like
that per that person wasn't bullshitting me and he felt it.
Speaker 8 (30:32):
You can hear it in the timbour in his voice.
And so you know, all that combines onwhere we go
because we just can't give up.
Speaker 24 (30:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I always say that survival is in our bones. Your
your heart is gonna keep feeding. You can't will it
to start. You can't will your body to not breathe
or not digest food. Or we are in capsules body
whose entire function is to survive.
Speaker 20 (31:03):
And and that's why.
Speaker 21 (31:05):
And it's amazing, isn't it, all the shit that has
gone on in this world, we're still slugging. I think
about that, about the ones that had to get old
MM and uh, you know, tell dad jokes and and
become one hip and watch the thing go by. But
you know, Bob Dylan got to hear run DMC. You know,
(31:27):
Joni Mitchell got to meet Brandy Like if you're willing
to go, uh, you know through the rounds MM. The
reward is beautiful, but it's tough. But I'd rather be
that than good looking corpse.
Speaker 8 (31:45):
As Jay Z would.
Speaker 20 (31:46):
Say, that's that's I I agree. So what are you
working on now?
Speaker 18 (31:56):
Uh?
Speaker 8 (31:56):
A film called Evening's Empire.
Speaker 7 (32:01):
And what do you.
Speaker 8 (32:03):
Love?
Speaker 20 (32:04):
No, that's a good thing for a movie.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
Lots of movies are built on. What makes this one different?
Speaker 21 (32:11):
Well, Likewise said of Hank Williams, all the shades of love?
Speaker 11 (32:15):
Mm?
Speaker 8 (32:16):
You know they have? Well, I like uh.
Speaker 21 (32:19):
In hip hop, we have the phrase a studio gangster.
It's someone that only speaks about life is good, it's awesome.
But for some reason, he never talks about jail time mm,
even though he says he's a gangster, right, I mean,
that's gotta be part of your road. And why Lucinda
Williams is so beautiful if I'm madly in love, if
(32:41):
I'm out of love, or if she's just annoying me,
or if you know, my my heart is starting to wander, right,
or if their heart is starting to wander. Lucinda is
there every time, the celebration, the disappointment, the mundane.
Speaker 8 (33:02):
And that's that's not a studio gangster. That's a fucking gangster.
Speaker 21 (33:07):
And so it's simple, you know, Alan Ginsburg said it's Prophecy,
because prophecy is singing the hard thing.
Speaker 8 (33:16):
So twenty years from now, people go, yeah, there it is.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
Do you have a working title for your phone.
Speaker 21 (33:22):
Evenings Empire Evenings Empire Evening's Empire.
Speaker 20 (33:26):
Do you have any idea when it's gonna be finished?
Speaker 21 (33:28):
I'm still I just started it in September, and I
just shot three scenes and some pickup shots in Alberta
before coming here. My thing is to be at a
certain place by September.
Speaker 8 (33:43):
Coming.
Speaker 21 (33:44):
I can look up that year journey, but I don't
like your journey. Jesus Christ when a my yoga instructor.
But yeah, I'm giving it a year to make sure,
kicking my ass to you know, there's no We're floating
into May and June and July.
Speaker 8 (34:00):
I have two three shoots every month.
Speaker 20 (34:03):
So are you expecting it to be in the can
by September?
Speaker 21 (34:06):
And this is my third film now, and so you
gotta be careful with that stuff because ambition is ugly.
Like two months ago, I had forty five minutes, and
then I watched it after give again a month or two,
and I realized, no, I have twenty minutes.
Speaker 8 (34:26):
I have, you know, So you gotta. When it's done,
it's done.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Well, Thank you, Siah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 7 (35:12):
Oh you have this.
Speaker 8 (35:14):
A lot of people call this rock and roll swings.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
This is though the let's see with the left hand, yeah,
and the right hand fits in with something like this.
Speaker 7 (35:28):
Yeah, here we going now.
Speaker 25 (35:31):
Yeah, it's called rock and roll and you can hear
all about it on Rock Talk Discover the hidden but
enchanting side of the music, Friday mornings at nine o'clock.
Speaker 7 (35:45):
Oh that isn't enchanting, nothing is.
Speaker 26 (35:49):
Go ahead, just dance, go crazy.
Speaker 22 (36:00):
I've been staring at the coastler singing of every choice
I've made to leave me here right now, standing out,
silent girl. I've been hiding in the shadows, wondering if I'm.
Speaker 16 (36:23):
On the river someplace I'll never be.
Speaker 22 (36:28):
It's the sovage, all bagins.
Speaker 16 (36:35):
Because I've got my best suit.
Speaker 15 (36:37):
On and I'm ready.
Speaker 27 (36:39):
I've got my seas rolled up and I'll be on
my lead.
Speaker 28 (36:46):
While my heart stopping.
Speaker 15 (36:50):
You're gonna see me.
Speaker 12 (37:00):
Around right, crowd.
Speaker 22 (37:08):
Every valley there's a mountain for every answers and new question.
Speaker 13 (37:16):
Is it worth all these.
Speaker 16 (37:19):
Pushing myself to the edge.
Speaker 22 (37:22):
Edge because we're roll looking for a reason, find a
shelter from the storm.
Speaker 27 (37:31):
With the just get down answer and dish yourself up again.
Oh guess I've got my best suit on't I'm ready.
I've got my sleeve holder, and I'll be you on.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Maland Wama had storm and the.
Speaker 12 (37:56):
Bok the bark.
Speaker 16 (37:57):
You're gonna see.
Speaker 4 (37:59):
Me round.
Speaker 29 (38:10):
Rock rocks all this. I got my best suit on
the night May.
Speaker 23 (38:20):
I got my caesar.
Speaker 29 (38:22):
Fuck and I'll be on my way.
Speaker 16 (38:27):
Why my heart stop me. You're gonna see me around.
You're gonna see me around.
Speaker 13 (38:40):
Not how you farm back down, but how you get
back up before you.
Speaker 8 (38:44):
Hoop the ground.
Speaker 16 (38:48):
You're gonna see me, right, You're gonna see me here.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
You gon't see me.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
You're listening to Rethreading Madness on Vancouver co Op Radio
cfr OH one hundred point five FM. I'm Bernardine Fox.
Rethreading Madness is coming up to its sixth anniversary of
being on air. We produce an air each week out
of cfr OH one hundred point five FM on the
unseated traditional territory of the Squamish, Muscriham and Sligway Tooth
(39:46):
nations around Vancouver.
Speaker 21 (39:47):
BC.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
RGM was one of the first radio programs to focus
on mental health issues here in Canada, in an area
swamped with statements from therapists rooted in colonial ideas about
mental heal health and trained in the dsm. RTM works
to ensure that the voices of those with lived experience
have agency and opportunity to define who they are and
(40:10):
what is true for them who listens to us. Beyond
those with lived experience, our audience includes their friends and partners,
along with therapists, counselors, and students of psychology. Since twenty
twenty two, all of our programs have been uploaded to
the Mental Health Radio Network and can be downloaded from
all podcast platforms. So if this show was of interest
(40:32):
to you, you might find the rest of our programs
informative as well. You can find them by searching for
Rethreading Madness wherever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 8 (40:41):
It's not the world's cave.
Speaker 24 (40:45):
Sometimes I feel like if enh but archist case, it
is an en myobla laying on the bathroom flow failing nothing,
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, and give me something I could
take to ease my mind.
Speaker 26 (41:01):
So just have a drink and you'll feel better. Just
take her home and you'll feel better. Keep telling me
that it gets better.
Speaker 8 (41:16):
Does it for.
Speaker 4 (41:20):
Help me?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
It's like the world's keeving.
Speaker 24 (41:25):
And sometimes I feel like iving enough, knowing bad. It's
seeing it's strong enough. Someone help me. I'm crowding luskin.
Sometimes I feel like even enough, but.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
I just can't. It's in my blood, isn't in my mind?
Speaker 26 (42:02):
Looking through my phone again, feeling anxious, afraid to be
on again.
Speaker 8 (42:07):
I hate things. Tryna find a way that.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
You can't be or is there somebody who could help me?
Speaker 15 (42:17):
It's like the world of keving.
Speaker 24 (42:19):
And sometimes I feel like evn nothing, no mad It's sin,
It's strong and enough.
Speaker 4 (42:27):
Someone help me.
Speaker 8 (42:31):
I'm crabing in my skin.
Speaker 24 (42:35):
Sometimes I feel like caven no body.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I just can't.
Speaker 8 (42:40):
It's in it my.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
Blood, it is in my blod.
Speaker 12 (42:54):
I need somebody.
Speaker 29 (42:57):
I need somebody.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Someone, I need somebody.
Speaker 4 (43:09):
Tell me.
Speaker 8 (43:12):
It's like the walls cave in.
Speaker 24 (43:14):
Then sometimes I feel like even love.
Speaker 26 (43:20):
I just can't.
Speaker 29 (43:22):
It is a new problem in New Mama, Mama. I
need Somebody's in MoMA.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I need somebody.
Speaker 12 (43:49):
Is mid.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
You're listening to Rethreading Madness on the Cooper called Radio
CFR one point five FM. I'm Bernardine Fox, and today
I'm down at the gathering place in Vancouver at the
Mad Arts Cafe, interviewing the folks that are about to
go up and entertain everyone. The first person I'm speaking
with is Lea Toronto. She's a graduate of UBC Writing
(44:20):
Program and a l an alumni.
Speaker 4 (44:22):
Of the Simon Fraser University's Writers Studio.
Speaker 30 (44:26):
And you remember PRISM, Yeah, PRISM Internationalist Poetry Editorial Board.
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Right, So you're about to go up and entertain us.
What are you going to be doing.
Speaker 30 (44:39):
I'm going to be reading two excerpts from my auto
fiction novel A Drop in the Ocean, and it's about
my wood experience in treatment for severe obsess a compulsive disorder.
Speaker 4 (44:52):
And do you often use your own self as your
subject matter?
Speaker 28 (44:56):
Sometimes?
Speaker 30 (44:57):
I started off, I think more so writing fantasy and
poetry and just kind of through learning the disparity between
of knowledge that people have about mental illness, even OCD,
for example, I decided that I wanted to share more
(45:18):
of my own story.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
So that's what inspires you to write, is wanting to explain, teach, educate.
Speaker 30 (45:26):
What would you say in the beginning, I wrote to
cope when I was in treatment. It was for six
years and I didn't have much control over really anything.
One of the only ways to have power over my
own story was by writing it down, and you were
able to do that while you were in the board.
(45:48):
Is that I would write in my journal, and sometimes
it was just venting. Other times it was more along
the lines of, you know, kind of fantasy novel that
I had wanted to write.
Speaker 28 (46:00):
But it was helpful.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
So how would you describe having OCD?
Speaker 30 (46:08):
Obsessive compulsive disorder can often has a lot of different analogies,
but one that I like to use is a mosquito bite.
Speaker 28 (46:17):
So when you have an obsession, that's the itch.
Speaker 30 (46:23):
For example, that might be something I guess that we
often see as contamination, So maybe you have a fear
that you have been in touch with germs.
Speaker 28 (46:34):
The compulsion is the scratch.
Speaker 30 (46:36):
It's the behavior that relieves the itch, but actually reinforces
it in the long run, even if it provides temporary relief.
I also think of OCD as a shape shifting parasite
because it doesn't just change across minds, changes across years,
So you can have one kind of kind of obsessive
(46:58):
theme and maybe say, uh, organization and symmetry, and then
maybe five years later it can totally morph into something
like harm OCD. Yeah, just really the tip of the
OCD iceberg is like what we always see, which is contamination.
Speaker 28 (47:21):
But there's many many different forms.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
Right, So what is your most recent work that's out there.
Speaker 28 (47:29):
Right now? I have a lot of kind of just
right OCD.
Speaker 30 (47:34):
And just right is kind of a term that I
kind of, I guess, would describe as needing to perform
a certain action in a very very particular order and
for a certain number of times. And if I don't, say,
maybe it's stacking the dishes. If I don't repeat it
for the proper number of times and in the proper order, I.
Speaker 28 (47:56):
Have to redo it right.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Yeah. Is there a fearsome thing will happen if you
don't do it right? Or what compels you to do
it right?
Speaker 30 (48:05):
I think in the beginning, definitely, when I had more
religious OCD scrupulosity I had, I didn't know as much
about it. I definitely had fears that if I didn't
perform certain self honk compulsions as atonement for sins in
a past life, my family would suffer now because.
Speaker 28 (48:27):
I think I have more awareness.
Speaker 30 (48:29):
It's more just this extreme distress and feeling of unbearable anxiety.
So I tend to perform the just right compulsions just
kind of to avoid feeling that way the rest of
the day.
Speaker 4 (48:45):
So what are you going to do tonight?
Speaker 30 (48:47):
I'm going to be reading two excerpts from the novel
I Drop in the Ocean, and it's a condensed version
of my time and treatment and that kind of well
hopefully provide people with a compelling narrative about.
Speaker 28 (49:06):
What it can be like to be in in patient treatment.
Speaker 4 (49:10):
That's wonderful. I can't wait to hear it. Leam, thank you.
We'll be right back, folks.
Speaker 23 (49:16):
Hi everyone, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 31 (49:20):
I'm sharing two excerpts from my debut auto fiction novel,
A Drop in the Ocean, about coming at age on
a site board for obsess with compulsive disorder and anusia.
Speaker 23 (49:31):
This first excerpt is.
Speaker 31 (49:32):
From the beginning, when narrator Mira has just been transferred
to Ward two at the Residency Adolescent Treatment Center and
meets the other patients there. I make my Board two
debut in the dining room. Everyone looks up as I
itched toward the table. They stare at me as I
stare at my lap while taking.
Speaker 28 (49:53):
A seat on the bench. Mental health tection.
Speaker 31 (49:56):
Now introduces me to my fellow innings, fills me in
on the art therapy prompt.
Speaker 23 (50:02):
Draw an image of your ideal future self across with me.
Speaker 31 (50:07):
His forehead, whose face is obscured by a ball cap.
It's big bubble letters literally spell out ballard. Slouching over
a pile of pencil parnes, he uses a bold one
to draw shame, much thicker than the one he's wearing
on a much more muscled, very chested version of himself
(50:27):
at a nightclub.
Speaker 23 (50:29):
Sup, he says, nodding to me.
Speaker 31 (50:32):
The guy next to him, Franco, barely lifts his buzzed
head before turning back to a stick bigger drawing of
himself snowboarded.
Speaker 23 (50:41):
He's in shorts and a T shirt, and his large
limbs are hairer than anything I've ever seen.
Speaker 31 (50:47):
We're talking whole on chibokaper before I can wonder whether
he doesn't like me or.
Speaker 23 (50:54):
His always is quiet. I'm being introduced to Diana.
Speaker 31 (50:59):
Her picture is a pen ocean scoop with a mermaid
holding a mrr baby in her arms.
Speaker 23 (51:05):
Her hooded eyes widen her urgency as she announces the
baby is alive.
Speaker 31 (51:12):
I can tell that the Mr Mother is meant to
be her and the MURR baby her kid, because they
both have tightly quilve.
Speaker 23 (51:18):
Pearls and a sprinkling of freckles. The last person I
meet is Taring. She bites her lip the same metallic blat.
Speaker 31 (51:28):
As her eyeliner and the elastics on her braces in constentration.
Speaker 23 (51:32):
Her neon pink hair clashes in a good way.
Speaker 31 (51:36):
Beneath the netting of her nest shrub, and on either
side of her neck are ginormous scars. The fresh than
one step out as red Wells kind of is pretty common,
but this is next level shit. If Tearing her people
she was attacked by a cougar. They believe her my
hands slide my bangs, making sure their chunky layers hide
(51:58):
my forehead than got Terrence too.
Speaker 23 (52:01):
Absorbed in her drawing to notice me.
Speaker 31 (52:03):
All in her arms, She's sketching herself lying a jumbo
jet with a bunch of.
Speaker 23 (52:08):
Grammys and records in the other seats.
Speaker 31 (52:11):
So, Taren, would you rather be a singer who can
fly a plane or a pilot.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
Who can sing?
Speaker 23 (52:17):
I ask yep. My small talk is pretty pathetic.
Speaker 28 (52:23):
Don't call me that, she says.
Speaker 12 (52:25):
Only old people call me that.
Speaker 23 (52:28):
My name's sweets.
Speaker 12 (52:30):
Hey, I'm not that.
Speaker 28 (52:31):
Old jew pretends to be hurt am I.
Speaker 31 (52:36):
No, you're not, I put in sweet says. Don't waste
your time kissing Janelle's ass. She's one of the nice ones.
You're gonna butter an enough go for the coss. Dude's
a stickler, but his bends is his baby compliment the
custom rooms and.
Speaker 28 (52:52):
He's your man bird on the staff.
Speaker 23 (52:56):
Yes please, I start to sketch the table future.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
You're all.
Speaker 28 (53:00):
He's sitting out the way it's down has to stand.
Speaker 3 (53:06):
Living life on the merry go round. You get fund
of fight out by seeing it. So we're gonna walk
it out, o, mon day, we're gonna walk it out.
Speaker 29 (53:25):
And oh day, miso. Our eyes like the day Outriso.
Our eyes are afraid up.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
And I do it a thousand times again.
Speaker 29 (53:49):
Hello, Riso, I like a ways ourso inspite of the
comes up.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
Hello, I'm doing the thousand times a game. The silence
(54:24):
is it why?
Speaker 32 (54:27):
And it feels like gas are getting hard to breathe
and I know you feel like die. But I promise,
will you take the world Jewish fe allday bringing Jewish feed.
Speaker 29 (54:52):
Oh dad he loraza homads like the dagsam all eyes
are afraid.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
Help. We are not doing a thousand times again. Oh
(55:28):
we need, oh we needed it's home, but.
Speaker 28 (55:34):
That we heavy chadd.
Speaker 3 (55:38):
And for that we heavy chadder and we will ride.
Speaker 29 (55:46):
We had a fad rise.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
Well ride ah hos up rise like the day, rise
up in spite of the A. I will ride a
thousand times again and will ride.
Speaker 29 (56:18):
I like the ways, will ride up and it's wide
on the A.
Speaker 8 (56:23):
Well ride.
Speaker 3 (56:26):
And we'll do it a thousand times again. Thank you
(56:53):
for dating me.
Speaker 18 (56:57):
The National Greening Program, run by Streak Canada is dedicated
to planting seedling trees across Canada in BC, the Prairies, Ontario,
Quebec and Atlantic. They prioritize planting on indigenous and public
lands and planting in areas of natural or human cause disaster.
The trees they plant help filter the air and water
and sequestra carbon, among other positive impacts. To learn more
(57:20):
or get involved, go to Treecanada dot ca.
Speaker 4 (57:24):
And that's our show.
Speaker 1 (57:25):
My thanks to Richard Letzir, Avery Lea, Toronto, and the
organizers of the Mad Pride Cafe for speaking with us
and sharing their creative performances. Our music today was by Ulrich,
Jelly Roll, Mendez and Scott. If you appreciated this program,
remember it is uploaded each week as a podcast. You
can listen to all the archives shows back to twenty
(57:47):
twenty two on whatever podcast platform you use. And our
thanks to you, our listeners. You are why we show
up each week. Your feedback on this programming has been
vital in showing us where you need the programming to go.
Speaker 20 (58:01):
We thank you.
Speaker 4 (58:02):
Stay safe out there.
Speaker 1 (58:06):
You've just listened to Rethreading Madness, where we dare to
change how we think about mental health.
Speaker 3 (58:11):
We air live on.
Speaker 1 (58:12):
Vancouver co Op Radio CFRI one hundred point five FM
every Tuesday at five pm or online at co opradio
dot org. If you have questions or feedback about this program,
or want to share your story or have something to
say to us, we want to hear from you. You
can reach us by email Rethreading Madness at co opradio
(58:32):
dot org. This is Bernardine Fox. We'll be back next week.
Speaker 3 (58:36):
Until then, we have ever been further, do what the
hell I'm.
Speaker 4 (58:45):
Gonna do when I can't seem to find my.
Speaker 2 (58:51):
Way under over too, just when I'm ready in and
give up the fight. They are when we turn out
the lights and it's sorry, it's all right.
Speaker 3 (59:11):
Don't you really be alright?
Speaker 29 (59:17):
Why don't I always believe but when.
Speaker 2 (59:20):
You're jelly everything that's gonna be out right?
Speaker 17 (59:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 16 (59:33):
Why don't I wonder how you know?
Speaker 28 (59:38):
Surely you don't have all of the facts.
Speaker 2 (59:43):
You could be just making it up.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
Why don't I ever think of that?
Speaker 4 (59:54):
It's some kind imagine in the words that you read
You're listening to Vancouver Corp Radio cfr O one hundred
point five FM. We're coming to you from the unseated
traditional territories of the Squamish, muscream and Slighvey tooth nations
around Vancouver, BC. I'm your host, Bernardine Fox, and this
is this show that dares to change how we think
about mental health. Welcome to Rethreading Madness.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
We have ever been further No, what the hell I'm
gonna do when I can't see a fine away.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Under Over.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
We hustle down to the gathering place for the twenty
twenty five Mad Pride Art Cafe, where Richard lets Her
Avery and Leah Toronto graced us with their creative entertainment.
We will warn you as a part of that there
are times when the language used in that creator may
not be appreciated by everyone. And the sound quality was
a little off as we were recording on location.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
We apologize for that.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Hey, did you know Red Eye has a podcast? You
can tune in to Red Eye every Saturday morning from
ten am to noon, and now you can catch our
interviews anytime. Look for the Red Eye podcast on iTunes,
tune in radio, or a host of other podcast apps,
or you can check out our latest episode right on
our website co op radio dot org slash Redeye.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
You're listening to Rethreading Madness on Vancouver co Op Radio
CFRO one hundred point five FM. We're coming to you
from the gathering Place in downtown Vancouver on location for
the Mad Arts Cafe, and am about to talk with
Richard Lett. So you're a stand up comedian an actor. True,
and it says that you're known for comedy focusing on
(01:54):
drug and alcohol recovery. And at some point you were
banned from a lot of a lot of places.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
So let's talk about that. How come what happens?
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Well, I'm you know, I'm an addict, I'm you know, alcoholic,
and I you know, and that lends itself to all
sorts of bad choices.
Speaker 7 (02:18):
I think.
Speaker 8 (02:20):
Me being.
Speaker 6 (02:22):
Banned from comedy rooms had as much to do with
my you know, provoking style, but all I didn't present
very well when I'd been drinking or using.
Speaker 8 (02:37):
And then.
Speaker 7 (02:39):
Just a couple of years ago.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
I took to stealing to make my living when I
was homeless and out there, and so you know, that
really undermines people's sense of safety.
Speaker 7 (02:57):
If somebody's around that might be sealing from me.
Speaker 6 (03:01):
It's a pretty gross thing to do, yes, But when
you know, I mean the drug induced psychosis of you know,
just thinking that rules don't apply to you, or that
you're justified in doing it, or.
Speaker 7 (03:20):
That you're smarter than anyone else, or anything like.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
That can give you those ideas.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
They sure do.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
Like I say, you know, I talked about I ended up,
you know, using crystal math, which is horrible stuff, but
you know it it gives you the energy to just
you know, go and you know, escape and not really care.
(03:49):
It's probably the most damaging thing about that drug is
it undermines your ability to understand what you're doing.
Speaker 7 (04:00):
Is wrong, and that should be enough of a reason
not to do it.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Right.
Speaker 7 (04:05):
You live in another dimension.
Speaker 6 (04:07):
You know, a place of you know where they're very grandiose.
Speaker 7 (04:11):
I kind of thought I.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Was like the Pink Panther, you know it, just this
amazing pather, the person or Pink Pathered the cartoon.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
Well they were both burglars, they were yeh, famous.
Speaker 7 (04:25):
So I saw myself as this kind of elegant thief.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
I stole from you know, hotel lobbies and you know,
took paintings and all sorts of things. So and I,
you know it, eventually was caught and charged with that.
I the sort of punishment that I got was pretty minor.
Speaker 7 (04:50):
I was.
Speaker 6 (04:52):
Not allowed to go into Holt Renfrews or Apple stores.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Wow. How do they make sure, well.
Speaker 7 (05:00):
You know, face recognition or or if you go in
there again.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
And the catch is stealing again, then they go, ah,
now we're going to throw you in general.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So were you always a kind of were you funny
when you were a kid?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (05:17):
Yeah, I used comedy as a you know, sort of
social lubricant and know I.
Speaker 7 (05:22):
Was, you know, the class clown and that sort of.
Speaker 6 (05:26):
Thing, and it always had kind of a funny way
of expressing myself. So I was actually a school teacher,
an drama teacher initially after graduating from university. But then
comedy clubs started opening up and I tried that and
I was successful at it rather quickly.
Speaker 7 (05:47):
It became you know, someone that you know.
Speaker 6 (05:51):
Often takes a long time for people to evolve from
their first open mics to headline shows, but for me,
it was just a couple of years. So yeah, I
was sort of born to do it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
As a comic do you always do not just you,
but other comics.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Do you always use your own.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Personal story that? Does that make it share? Or is
that just because that is something you know and you
can twist it to make it funny? Am I saying
that asking the right question?
Speaker 7 (06:25):
I think?
Speaker 6 (06:25):
So, you know, we draw from our own experiences most writers,
and writing stand up is a form of writing, so
we're always, you know, drawing from what's going on, you know. Plus,
you know, there's a uniqueness to, you know, talking about
your own life.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
If you just sort of talking about.
Speaker 6 (06:49):
What everybody else is talking about from a sort of
a large, you know, sort of framework of what people
think and feel, then it gets, you know, pretty typical,
pretty stereotypical, and nothing too original about it.
Speaker 7 (07:06):
So one of the ways to maintain an.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
Originality is to just draw from your own experiences.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
You performed at the fringe, yes, many times, many times.
He did one called hard to Kill.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I'm not a stranger to the fringe only because I
was a state.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Mom to a kid that was acting oh okay, and
so I.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Sort of behind the scenes of theater a lot, but
naturally tell us about.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Hard to Kill.
Speaker 6 (07:33):
Well, that was when I had, you know, gone through
some dire experiences. That was right in the middle of COVID,
so there was you know, this it was rather a
peculiar situation because you know, there was the first phase,
but I guess I called it and then and then
there was a bit of a break where we were
(07:55):
able to do shows, but everybody had to sit at
a distance and I couldn't cross the line getting too
close to the audience. But anyway, I had COVID, you know,
a few months before that, so then you know it
started writing jokes about that, and then you know, I
dealt with I had recovered from the cancer about a
(08:16):
decade before that, and I was also you know, in
recovery from addiction. So it just seemed like I had
a whole bunch of stuff that could killed me that didn't.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
So you took a really dire situations and made something funny.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
Yes, this is that's what we do.
Speaker 8 (08:34):
You know.
Speaker 6 (08:34):
There's that old expression, you know, tragedy plus time equals comedy.
So you know, whatever situation you're in, you know eventually
you're going to have to make light of it. I
think that's a very natural experience that people have, whether
it's you know, whether you're a comedian or not that
(08:56):
you know, you go through a very hard situation and
then as time goes on, you're able to talk about
it and you're sharing a light situation, and we tend to,
you know, sort of make bits when I explain to people, you.
Speaker 7 (09:11):
Know, how you write material.
Speaker 9 (09:13):
You know, it's a very natural thing that so you
go to the dentists and it's you know, not a
good experience, and so you tell someone about it, and
then you tell another person, and which is by the
third time you've told it, you've started writing it.
Speaker 7 (09:29):
You're imitating the receptionist's.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
Voice and you're you know, coming up and maybe you're
changing the order a bit so that it flows better.
Speaker 7 (09:38):
And we just sort of naturally are storytellers.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
So that's, you know, genuinely what happens is that we
you know, by the time you know, we've told it
a few times, you know, we know where the laughs are,
so we wait for them.
Speaker 7 (09:53):
And everyone does that except maybe accountants.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Well it's from my d me of being in the
room with anybody who's a mental health consumer, somebody who's
lived with mental challenges, but there's no therapist in the room,
and then our humor that comes out in that time
is absolutely brilliant.
Speaker 7 (10:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Sure, you know, you couldn't do it with a therapist
in the room. They might lock you up because they
think you're really not sup.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
They would lecture you for being you know, minimizing or
saying that, you know, oh you shouldn't talk about yourself
that way, or all these.
Speaker 7 (10:34):
Sorts of things.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Yes, yes, and that's the title of our program. We're
threating madness.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
You know where we we take on our own names,
you know, our own labels. We recreem them so crazy
and mad and psycho and whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
That's you know, people have their own choices. What are
you doing tonight? What are we going to hear?
Speaker 7 (10:53):
Well, I'll be uh.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
You know, I won the National Poetry Slam. I don't know,
I guess over a decade ago now, But so I
spent a lot of time doing slam poetry.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
So I have.
Speaker 6 (11:11):
Spoken word is the sort of umbrella for all sorts
of things, stand up comedy being one of them, slam
poetry being another.
Speaker 7 (11:20):
So you know, I'm gonna do a.
Speaker 6 (11:23):
Couple of poems to sort of bookend the show, and
then I'll do some comedy about what's going on in
the world, and my observation of things, reflection on my
whole life is as a single dad, you know, my
you know, battles with you know, drug addiction and alcoholism
(11:45):
and you know, so you know that it's something I've
been doing for for a long time. Once I got
into recovery, then it didn't take long for people asking
me to do shows would be part of events where
I could you know, sort of make fun of or
lightening the mood, you know, as it were. So this
(12:09):
is just another experience I was asked to do this.
Speaker 7 (12:14):
You know.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
The guy that's producing the show saw me perform in
another event and so you know, he asked me if
i'd come along.
Speaker 7 (12:22):
To do that.
Speaker 6 (12:23):
So you I'll be trying to you know, talk about
what's going on in the world.
Speaker 7 (12:29):
Is pretty chaotic right now.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
It is chaotic.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Well, thank you Richard for giving me your time, and
I'm to look forward to sharing you tonight.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Sure, I'm glad to have you here, and we'll be
right back.
Speaker 10 (12:42):
Folks one, two, two thirty three, three fifteen, three thirty three,
(13:05):
forty five, three fifty six, seven eighty.
Speaker 7 (13:09):
Nine four am.
Speaker 11 (13:10):
And I can't sleep inside my head now in much
too deep. No way, I'm dozing off with all these
meetings and arguments, all these things that go on in
this very busy place.
Speaker 7 (13:20):
I call my brain. Four ten.
Speaker 11 (13:25):
Half the world has no access to safe drinking water,
but everybody has access to Coca Cola. They killed orson wells.
They crash g is for exposing meiocrity four fifteen They
who is they?
Speaker 8 (13:46):
Am? I?
Speaker 7 (13:47):
They are? They?
Speaker 12 (13:49):
They?
Speaker 7 (13:52):
Four twenty five.
Speaker 11 (13:54):
My teasing yawns are like false labor eyelids. Shout out
the darkness, brightness, Dallas afternoon beneath my lips. It was
Kennedy's death that wakened fear to us, my generation.
Speaker 7 (14:08):
X y z Z whatever.
Speaker 11 (14:11):
Fucking Americans, USA, USA unlimited.
Speaker 8 (14:16):
Supply of assholes.
Speaker 11 (14:21):
When I was three and a half, Fat November cracked
my whole family. Up TV repeated footage of his funeral
so much I said, there goes Kennedy again.
Speaker 7 (14:32):
I couldn't sleep that night.
Speaker 11 (14:34):
Or started under false pretenses on color TV till I
was twelve.
Speaker 12 (14:38):
Charlie crouched in the jungle.
Speaker 7 (14:40):
Shit still only psychone. They're still there.
Speaker 11 (14:44):
He's all gone, gone gone. Four thirty three A smart
bomb bang, Dad went Sleepless Night when I was thirty
and nine to eleven, New York, when I was forty,
Weapons of mass de section Rita Michelle, not a hurricane,
next wife, Tsunami, Bali in Pakistan, Ruanda, Somalia, Beirut, Palestine,
(15:10):
made and Hastings four forty eight, and the talispill four
fifteen and the iron is still on four fifty four
and twenty seconds.
Speaker 7 (15:25):
I don't have an iron four fifty nine.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And that was Richard Lapp, comedian reciting his poem in Sonia.
Speaker 7 (15:52):
I am not okane.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
I'm barely getting man.
Speaker 13 (15:58):
I'm losing track, good days, losing sleep, and.
Speaker 14 (16:05):
I am not okay.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
I'm hanging on the rails.
Speaker 13 (16:11):
So if I say I'm fan no w I learned
to hode, it will.
Speaker 14 (16:18):
How No I came baby, only one who's holding off
of you, lie.
Speaker 12 (16:30):
Dying, no dying.
Speaker 15 (16:32):
Know when it's all said at time, I'm not okay,
but it's all gonna be all right.
Speaker 14 (16:42):
It's not okay, We're all gonna be all right.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
I wool up to day.
Speaker 15 (16:58):
I almostaining me get the devil my.
Speaker 14 (17:02):
Back and voices in my head.
Speaker 7 (17:07):
Some dez, it ain't all bad.
Speaker 16 (17:10):
Some days it all gets worse.
Speaker 14 (17:13):
Some Jesus swear I'm badd then in the dirt. I
know I came by only one who's holding off of again.
But God knows, I know.
Speaker 15 (17:35):
When it's all said a time, I'm not okay, but
it's all gonna be all right. It's not okay, but
if we're all gonna be all right, gonna be all right,
(17:56):
gonna be off. I know one day we'll see the.
Speaker 13 (18:07):
Other side the pain on our shoven in a holy
wire time, and we all gonna be all right.
Speaker 14 (18:19):
How no hold pocat b the only one.
Speaker 8 (18:25):
Who's holding off of the.
Speaker 15 (18:31):
But God know, time know when it's all said and time,
I'm not okay, but its song gonna be all right.
It's not okay, but we're all gonna be all right.
I'm not okay, but its song gonna be all right.
Speaker 12 (19:00):
To east Man is what Spotstein is to New Jersey.
Speaker 16 (19:04):
Give up the mong one mona phloso.
Speaker 12 (19:07):
Cy I away. This is als.
Speaker 17 (20:01):
Sylvie, a little water, a little water Sylvie.
Speaker 18 (20:18):
And well.
Speaker 17 (20:22):
Roun Sylvie case Rona.
Speaker 12 (20:33):
You see running Sylvie.
Speaker 19 (20:38):
A little water, And who.
Speaker 12 (21:47):
Was Gusie Silsie?
Speaker 1 (22:03):
You listen to recreting Madness on Vancouver called Radio cfr
oh one hundred point five f M. I'm brenading Fox
here with cr Avery, who has been just entertaining us
through the Mad Arts Cafe down at the Gathering Place.
Speaker 20 (22:16):
I'll welcome cr now ging sacr.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Do I say, cr.
Speaker 21 (22:20):
Avery'm just Corr?
Speaker 4 (22:24):
And do you like being called by your initials?
Speaker 8 (22:26):
Or it was just well, I like hokey pokey, but
it just never caught on.
Speaker 20 (22:32):
I'm gonna tell you what I wrote when you were
playing this now you.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
You put on a song.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I think it's a song that has it basically takes
people on an emotional journey and you really don't have
any choice.
Speaker 20 (22:47):
But to follow you along wherever you're going. It was very,
very powerful, and.
Speaker 22 (22:54):
I don't I know.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
I got this little blurb about what you do.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
It said many genres of blues, hit pop, smoking word
on rock and roll, and I can't tell what it
was you did. It seems to be a mixture of
all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
So what would you call what you just did?
Speaker 21 (23:14):
What I did right now? Because it was an upright
piano that was slightly out of tune. So that was
my slightly out of tune dance okay.
Speaker 20 (23:26):
But you played harmonica, yeah, the heart you did spoken word?
Speaker 7 (23:30):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Would you say you sang bring? I'm not sure.
Speaker 21 (23:36):
Wow, I'm trying to think what I did. Oh yeah,
well it's true I was rapping, wasn't it.
Speaker 8 (23:45):
Yeah. I sang a chorus though. Yeah. It was like
Bismarcky singing out in John.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
So tell me, is R what inspires on your piece?
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Your stuff is so raw, and you need what what
what happens inside you to inspire you to create a
new Paine.
Speaker 21 (24:05):
I think it's to use the aligne that you overhear
or that just kind of pops up. I remember my
father talking about a farmer where we grew up, and
his wife left him and the farm and I don't
know if there was kids involved and then and he
(24:28):
hadn't remarried and he was older, and I don't even
know if my dad was telling me or talking to
my mom. But then he had the phrase, well once
burned twice shy, and I was like, goddamn.
Speaker 8 (24:40):
And so I just liked that phrase, and then it,
you know, I wrote a song.
Speaker 21 (24:46):
And I think that's what's fun about traveling about or
just keeping your ears to the ground because everyone's got
those you know, you know I play I open with
the lead Belly song I led Belly, So led Belly
is a was a blues musician. And it was cool
(25:07):
because last night I was in Calgary and I was
just with this guy, Mike, and we were having a
drink watching the sunset, and we talked about how much
Nirvana is Unplugged album because he likes metal and death
metal and and I listen to other stuff. But we
both had this common ground with Nirvana, And for me,
(25:28):
it was because he ended that recording in New York
with an old blue song written by led Belly.
Speaker 8 (25:37):
He sings, It's so marvelous.
Speaker 21 (25:40):
But I just think, yeah, you keep your ear to
the ground for lines like that, but also the songs
that have already been done.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
What are you hoping to express in your music?
Speaker 8 (25:50):
Nothing?
Speaker 20 (25:50):
Nothing, So you have no message, you have no no intent,
just no, I'm just gonna get paid. Well, there you go.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It says you've written and directed six hip hop operas,
and I will tell you my brain kind of squishes
at the concept of a hip hop opera. What is that?
Speaker 21 (26:14):
Well, I mean, you know what a rock opera is, Yes,
so it's that but with hip hop. Okay, I saw
this cool thing just really showing in America when when
it went from opera to the musical. And one of
the big things that I saw on that was after
(26:37):
the war, people did not want to hear German operas
in America, and you know, Duke Allington was blowing up
in jazz and but people still wanted a big show
like an opera.
Speaker 8 (26:49):
And then that's how the musical was born.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
I did not know that.
Speaker 21 (26:52):
And so about you know, I mean you've heard of Hamilton, Yes,
you know that was a cat taking it, you know,
and his first one was in the Heights, So yeah,
he's a he's a cool I mean, it's not exactly
my jive, but I respect the shit out of it
because he took it to pretty beautiful level.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Musical theater is great. I like musical theaters. Right, How
do you feel that your.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Work is important to say it a mad pride movement,
because that's where we are.
Speaker 21 (27:20):
We're in a mad artsfa Well come on now, I mean,
we'll keep drawing these lines.
Speaker 8 (27:26):
But I mean that's what the arts is.
Speaker 21 (27:32):
I mean, Jesus, you know, same people, same people, don't
cut off their ears, same people don't leave home at
fourteen with no money in their pocket because they heard
they heard.
Speaker 8 (27:44):
Well not even desperate, but just you know the Cararac thing.
Mad to live.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
They say one and two.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Now, Harvard did a study and Canada has put it
on their website as a stat that one and two
of us will have a mental health challenge in our lifetime.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
So you really, when you get to that stat, it
starts to question who's.
Speaker 20 (28:04):
Normal and.
Speaker 8 (28:07):
What is normal and what is yeah and all scenarios.
Speaker 21 (28:13):
You know, if everyone in that room had been drafted
or would we what would the vibe be in there?
Speaker 8 (28:20):
Quite a bit different, right? You know, my father's dying
right now of cancer.
Speaker 17 (28:24):
HM.
Speaker 8 (28:25):
And I just spent three months in a gated.
Speaker 21 (28:27):
Community, you know, cleaning up a packing up a house,
you know, and you know it's like it's like with
anything people.
Speaker 8 (28:37):
But I would never do that. Well, let's put your
back against the wall. Who knows what you would do exactly?
And so and that's why folk music is beautiful.
Speaker 21 (28:48):
You know, Dylan and Woody and led Belly too, they
they there were stories mm, so you would think, like,
you know, I remember.
Speaker 8 (28:57):
I had a dear friend.
Speaker 21 (29:00):
I don't want to tell this story, not really, but
it was just a rock star on Hastings Street and
he's smoking a joint, looking around at the people and going,
you know, how did that happen? And I was like,
you're a famous person's son, you have no idea, But
the great folk song showed us.
Speaker 8 (29:22):
It's these roads that lead us here.
Speaker 23 (29:25):
You know.
Speaker 21 (29:25):
And that's what inspires me more than anything in this world,
is watching like Ali should have been crushed, you know,
when he threw his metal over the bridge, when he
came back to American and his gold medal meant nothing.
He should have been crushed after he changed his name
from Cassius Clay to Ali.
Speaker 8 (29:44):
Should have been crushed when he refused to fight in
the war.
Speaker 21 (29:48):
He should have been crushed when he got Parkinson's This
mofo jes kept charging.
Speaker 8 (29:55):
And and I think it's important.
Speaker 21 (29:57):
I love the Bob Dylan line busy being born is
busy dying. And then there's the other line in the song,
I could just be one more person crying. Life is hard,
And what what pulls me to eat if paf people
though I don't know what she's saying, is I hear
her pain and you see cats.
Speaker 8 (30:16):
On the reserve or cats in Spain with nothing in
their pockets. Still hear Hank William's voice.
Speaker 21 (30:24):
As a as a as a lightning bolt of like
that per that person wasn't bullshitting me and he felt it.
Speaker 8 (30:32):
You can hear it in the timbour in his voice.
And so you know, all that combines onwhere we go
because we just can't give up.
Speaker 24 (30:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I always say that survival is in our bones. Your
your heart is gonna keep feeding. You can't will it
to start. You can't will your body to not breathe
or not digest food. Or we are in capsules body
whose entire function is to survive.
Speaker 20 (31:03):
And and that's why.
Speaker 21 (31:05):
And it's amazing, isn't it, all the shit that has
gone on in this world, we're still slugging. I think
about that, about the ones that had to get old
MM and uh, you know, tell dad jokes and and
become one hip and watch the thing go by. But
you know, Bob Dylan got to hear run DMC. You know,
(31:27):
Joni Mitchell got to meet Brandy Like if you're willing
to go, uh, you know through the rounds MM. The
reward is beautiful, but it's tough. But I'd rather be
that than good looking corpse.
Speaker 8 (31:45):
As Jay Z would.
Speaker 20 (31:46):
Say, that's that's I I agree. So what are you
working on now?
Speaker 18 (31:56):
Uh?
Speaker 8 (31:56):
A film called Evening's Empire.
Speaker 7 (32:01):
And what do you.
Speaker 8 (32:03):
Love?
Speaker 20 (32:04):
No, that's a good thing for a movie.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
Lots of movies are built on. What makes this one different?
Speaker 21 (32:11):
Well, Likewise said of Hank Williams, all the shades of love?
Speaker 11 (32:15):
Mm?
Speaker 8 (32:16):
You know they have? Well, I like uh.
Speaker 21 (32:19):
In hip hop, we have the phrase a studio gangster.
It's someone that only speaks about life is good, it's awesome.
But for some reason, he never talks about jail time mm,
even though he says he's a gangster, right, I mean,
that's gotta be part of your road. And why Lucinda
Williams is so beautiful if I'm madly in love, if
(32:41):
I'm out of love, or if she's just annoying me,
or if you know, my my heart is starting to wander, right,
or if their heart is starting to wander. Lucinda is
there every time, the celebration, the disappointment, the mundane.
Speaker 8 (33:02):
And that's that's not a studio gangster. That's a fucking gangster.
Speaker 21 (33:07):
And so it's simple, you know, Alan Ginsburg said it's Prophecy,
because prophecy is singing the hard thing.
Speaker 8 (33:16):
So twenty years from now, people go, yeah, there it is.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
Do you have a working title for your phone.
Speaker 21 (33:22):
Evenings Empire Evenings Empire Evening's Empire.
Speaker 20 (33:26):
Do you have any idea when it's gonna be finished?
Speaker 21 (33:28):
I'm still I just started it in September, and I
just shot three scenes and some pickup shots in Alberta
before coming here. My thing is to be at a
certain place by September.
Speaker 8 (33:43):
Coming.
Speaker 21 (33:44):
I can look up that year journey, but I don't
like your journey. Jesus Christ when a my yoga instructor.
But yeah, I'm giving it a year to make sure,
kicking my ass to you know, there's no We're floating
into May and June and July.
Speaker 8 (34:00):
I have two three shoots every month.
Speaker 20 (34:03):
So are you expecting it to be in the can
by September?
Speaker 21 (34:06):
And this is my third film now, and so you
gotta be careful with that stuff because ambition is ugly.
Like two months ago, I had forty five minutes, and
then I watched it after give again a month or two,
and I realized, no, I have twenty minutes.
Speaker 8 (34:26):
I have, you know, So you gotta. When it's done,
it's done.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Well, Thank you, Siah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 7 (35:12):
Oh you have this.
Speaker 8 (35:14):
A lot of people call this rock and roll swings.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
This is though the let's see with the left hand, yeah,
and the right hand fits in with something like this.
Speaker 7 (35:28):
Yeah, here we going now.
Speaker 25 (35:31):
Yeah, it's called rock and roll and you can hear
all about it on Rock Talk Discover the hidden but
enchanting side of the music, Friday mornings at nine o'clock.
Speaker 7 (35:45):
Oh that isn't enchanting, nothing is.
Speaker 26 (35:49):
Go ahead, just dance, go crazy.
Speaker 22 (36:00):
I've been staring at the coastler singing of every choice
I've made to leave me here right now, standing out,
silent girl. I've been hiding in the shadows, wondering if I'm.
Speaker 16 (36:23):
On the river someplace I'll never be.
Speaker 22 (36:28):
It's the sovage, all bagins.
Speaker 16 (36:35):
Because I've got my best suit.
Speaker 15 (36:37):
On and I'm ready.
Speaker 27 (36:39):
I've got my seas rolled up and I'll be on
my lead.
Speaker 28 (36:46):
While my heart stopping.
Speaker 15 (36:50):
You're gonna see me.
Speaker 12 (37:00):
Around right, crowd.
Speaker 22 (37:08):
Every valley there's a mountain for every answers and new question.
Speaker 13 (37:16):
Is it worth all these.
Speaker 16 (37:19):
Pushing myself to the edge.
Speaker 22 (37:22):
Edge because we're roll looking for a reason, find a
shelter from the storm.
Speaker 27 (37:31):
With the just get down answer and dish yourself up again.
Oh guess I've got my best suit on't I'm ready.
I've got my sleeve holder, and I'll be you on.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Maland Wama had storm and the.
Speaker 12 (37:56):
Bok the bark.
Speaker 16 (37:57):
You're gonna see.
Speaker 4 (37:59):
Me round.
Speaker 29 (38:10):
Rock rocks all this. I got my best suit on
the night May.
Speaker 23 (38:20):
I got my caesar.
Speaker 29 (38:22):
Fuck and I'll be on my way.
Speaker 16 (38:27):
Why my heart stop me. You're gonna see me around.
You're gonna see me around.
Speaker 13 (38:40):
Not how you farm back down, but how you get
back up before you.
Speaker 8 (38:44):
Hoop the ground.
Speaker 16 (38:48):
You're gonna see me, right, You're gonna see me here.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
You gon't see me.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
You're listening to Rethreading Madness on Vancouver co Op Radio
cfr OH one hundred point five FM. I'm Bernardine Fox.
Rethreading Madness is coming up to its sixth anniversary of
being on air. We produce an air each week out
of cfr OH one hundred point five FM on the
unseated traditional territory of the Squamish, Muscriham and Sligway Tooth
(39:46):
nations around Vancouver.
Speaker 21 (39:47):
BC.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
RGM was one of the first radio programs to focus
on mental health issues here in Canada, in an area
swamped with statements from therapists rooted in colonial ideas about
mental heal health and trained in the dsm. RTM works
to ensure that the voices of those with lived experience
have agency and opportunity to define who they are and
(40:10):
what is true for them who listens to us. Beyond
those with lived experience, our audience includes their friends and partners,
along with therapists, counselors, and students of psychology. Since twenty
twenty two, all of our programs have been uploaded to
the Mental Health Radio Network and can be downloaded from
all podcast platforms. So if this show was of interest
(40:32):
to you, you might find the rest of our programs
informative as well. You can find them by searching for
Rethreading Madness wherever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 8 (40:41):
It's not the world's cave.
Speaker 24 (40:45):
Sometimes I feel like if enh but archist case, it
is an en myobla laying on the bathroom flow failing nothing,
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, and give me something I could
take to ease my mind.
Speaker 26 (41:01):
So just have a drink and you'll feel better. Just
take her home and you'll feel better. Keep telling me
that it gets better.
Speaker 8 (41:16):
Does it for.
Speaker 4 (41:20):
Help me?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
It's like the world's keeving.
Speaker 24 (41:25):
And sometimes I feel like iving enough, knowing bad. It's
seeing it's strong enough. Someone help me. I'm crowding luskin.
Sometimes I feel like even enough, but.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
I just can't. It's in my blood, isn't in my mind?
Speaker 26 (42:02):
Looking through my phone again, feeling anxious, afraid to be
on again.
Speaker 8 (42:07):
I hate things. Tryna find a way that.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
You can't be or is there somebody who could help me?
Speaker 15 (42:17):
It's like the world of keving.
Speaker 24 (42:19):
And sometimes I feel like evn nothing, no mad It's sin,
It's strong and enough.
Speaker 4 (42:27):
Someone help me.
Speaker 8 (42:31):
I'm crabing in my skin.
Speaker 24 (42:35):
Sometimes I feel like caven no body.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I just can't.
Speaker 8 (42:40):
It's in it my.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
Blood, it is in my blod.
Speaker 12 (42:54):
I need somebody.
Speaker 29 (42:57):
I need somebody.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Someone, I need somebody.
Speaker 4 (43:09):
Tell me.
Speaker 8 (43:12):
It's like the walls cave in.
Speaker 24 (43:14):
Then sometimes I feel like even love.
Speaker 26 (43:20):
I just can't.
Speaker 29 (43:22):
It is a new problem in New Mama, Mama. I
need Somebody's in MoMA.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I need somebody.
Speaker 12 (43:49):
Is mid.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
You're listening to Rethreading Madness on the Cooper called Radio
CFR one point five FM. I'm Bernardine Fox, and today
I'm down at the gathering place in Vancouver at the
Mad Arts Cafe, interviewing the folks that are about to
go up and entertain everyone. The first person I'm speaking
with is Lea Toronto. She's a graduate of UBC Writing
(44:20):
Program and a l an alumni.
Speaker 4 (44:22):
Of the Simon Fraser University's Writers Studio.
Speaker 30 (44:26):
And you remember PRISM, Yeah, PRISM Internationalist Poetry Editorial Board.
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Right, So you're about to go up and entertain us.
What are you going to be doing.
Speaker 30 (44:39):
I'm going to be reading two excerpts from my auto
fiction novel A Drop in the Ocean, and it's about
my wood experience in treatment for severe obsess a compulsive disorder.
Speaker 4 (44:52):
And do you often use your own self as your
subject matter?
Speaker 28 (44:56):
Sometimes?
Speaker 30 (44:57):
I started off, I think more so writing fantasy and
poetry and just kind of through learning the disparity between
of knowledge that people have about mental illness, even OCD,
for example, I decided that I wanted to share more
(45:18):
of my own story.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
So that's what inspires you to write, is wanting to explain, teach, educate.
Speaker 30 (45:26):
What would you say in the beginning, I wrote to
cope when I was in treatment. It was for six
years and I didn't have much control over really anything.
One of the only ways to have power over my
own story was by writing it down, and you were
able to do that while you were in the board.
(45:48):
Is that I would write in my journal, and sometimes
it was just venting. Other times it was more along
the lines of, you know, kind of fantasy novel that
I had wanted to write.
Speaker 28 (46:00):
But it was helpful.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
So how would you describe having OCD?
Speaker 30 (46:08):
Obsessive compulsive disorder can often has a lot of different analogies,
but one that I like to use is a mosquito bite.
Speaker 28 (46:17):
So when you have an obsession, that's the itch.
Speaker 30 (46:23):
For example, that might be something I guess that we
often see as contamination, So maybe you have a fear
that you have been in touch with germs.
Speaker 28 (46:34):
The compulsion is the scratch.
Speaker 30 (46:36):
It's the behavior that relieves the itch, but actually reinforces
it in the long run, even if it provides temporary relief.
I also think of OCD as a shape shifting parasite
because it doesn't just change across minds, changes across years,
So you can have one kind of kind of obsessive
(46:58):
theme and maybe say, uh, organization and symmetry, and then
maybe five years later it can totally morph into something
like harm OCD. Yeah, just really the tip of the
OCD iceberg is like what we always see, which is contamination.
Speaker 28 (47:21):
But there's many many different forms.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
Right, So what is your most recent work that's out there.
Speaker 28 (47:29):
Right now? I have a lot of kind of just
right OCD.
Speaker 30 (47:34):
And just right is kind of a term that I
kind of, I guess, would describe as needing to perform
a certain action in a very very particular order and
for a certain number of times. And if I don't, say,
maybe it's stacking the dishes. If I don't repeat it
for the proper number of times and in the proper order, I.
Speaker 28 (47:56):
Have to redo it right.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Yeah. Is there a fearsome thing will happen if you
don't do it right? Or what compels you to do
it right?
Speaker 30 (48:05):
I think in the beginning, definitely, when I had more
religious OCD scrupulosity I had, I didn't know as much
about it. I definitely had fears that if I didn't
perform certain self honk compulsions as atonement for sins in
a past life, my family would suffer now because.
Speaker 28 (48:27):
I think I have more awareness.
Speaker 30 (48:29):
It's more just this extreme distress and feeling of unbearable anxiety.
So I tend to perform the just right compulsions just
kind of to avoid feeling that way the rest of
the day.
Speaker 4 (48:45):
So what are you going to do tonight?
Speaker 30 (48:47):
I'm going to be reading two excerpts from the novel
I Drop in the Ocean, and it's a condensed version
of my time and treatment and that kind of well
hopefully provide people with a compelling narrative about.
Speaker 28 (49:06):
What it can be like to be in in patient treatment.
Speaker 4 (49:10):
That's wonderful. I can't wait to hear it. Leam, thank you.
We'll be right back, folks.
Speaker 23 (49:16):
Hi everyone, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 31 (49:20):
I'm sharing two excerpts from my debut auto fiction novel,
A Drop in the Ocean, about coming at age on
a site board for obsess with compulsive disorder and anusia.
Speaker 23 (49:31):
This first excerpt is.
Speaker 31 (49:32):
From the beginning, when narrator Mira has just been transferred
to Ward two at the Residency Adolescent Treatment Center and
meets the other patients there. I make my Board two
debut in the dining room. Everyone looks up as I
itched toward the table. They stare at me as I
stare at my lap while taking.
Speaker 28 (49:53):
A seat on the bench. Mental health tection.
Speaker 31 (49:56):
Now introduces me to my fellow innings, fills me in
on the art therapy prompt.
Speaker 23 (50:02):
Draw an image of your ideal future self across with me.
Speaker 31 (50:07):
His forehead, whose face is obscured by a ball cap.
It's big bubble letters literally spell out ballard. Slouching over
a pile of pencil parnes, he uses a bold one
to draw shame, much thicker than the one he's wearing
on a much more muscled, very chested version of himself
(50:27):
at a nightclub.
Speaker 23 (50:29):
Sup, he says, nodding to me.
Speaker 31 (50:32):
The guy next to him, Franco, barely lifts his buzzed
head before turning back to a stick bigger drawing of
himself snowboarded.
Speaker 23 (50:41):
He's in shorts and a T shirt, and his large
limbs are hairer than anything I've ever seen.
Speaker 31 (50:47):
We're talking whole on chibokaper before I can wonder whether
he doesn't like me or.
Speaker 23 (50:54):
His always is quiet. I'm being introduced to Diana.
Speaker 31 (50:59):
Her picture is a pen ocean scoop with a mermaid
holding a mrr baby in her arms.
Speaker 23 (51:05):
Her hooded eyes widen her urgency as she announces the
baby is alive.
Speaker 31 (51:12):
I can tell that the Mr Mother is meant to
be her and the MURR baby her kid, because they
both have tightly quilve.
Speaker 23 (51:18):
Pearls and a sprinkling of freckles. The last person I
meet is Taring. She bites her lip the same metallic blat.
Speaker 31 (51:28):
As her eyeliner and the elastics on her braces in constentration.
Speaker 23 (51:32):
Her neon pink hair clashes in a good way.
Speaker 31 (51:36):
Beneath the netting of her nest shrub, and on either
side of her neck are ginormous scars. The fresh than
one step out as red Wells kind of is pretty common,
but this is next level shit. If Tearing her people
she was attacked by a cougar. They believe her my
hands slide my bangs, making sure their chunky layers hide
(51:58):
my forehead than got Terrence too.
Speaker 23 (52:01):
Absorbed in her drawing to notice me.
Speaker 31 (52:03):
All in her arms, She's sketching herself lying a jumbo
jet with a bunch of.
Speaker 23 (52:08):
Grammys and records in the other seats.
Speaker 31 (52:11):
So, Taren, would you rather be a singer who can
fly a plane or a pilot.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
Who can sing?
Speaker 23 (52:17):
I ask yep. My small talk is pretty pathetic.
Speaker 28 (52:23):
Don't call me that, she says.
Speaker 12 (52:25):
Only old people call me that.
Speaker 23 (52:28):
My name's sweets.
Speaker 12 (52:30):
Hey, I'm not that.
Speaker 28 (52:31):
Old jew pretends to be hurt am I.
Speaker 31 (52:36):
No, you're not, I put in sweet says. Don't waste
your time kissing Janelle's ass. She's one of the nice ones.
You're gonna butter an enough go for the coss. Dude's
a stickler, but his bends is his baby compliment the
custom rooms and.
Speaker 28 (52:52):
He's your man bird on the staff.
Speaker 23 (52:56):
Yes please, I start to sketch the table future.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
You're all.
Speaker 28 (53:00):
He's sitting out the way it's down has to stand.
Speaker 3 (53:06):
Living life on the merry go round. You get fund
of fight out by seeing it. So we're gonna walk
it out, o, mon day, we're gonna walk it out.
Speaker 29 (53:25):
And oh day, miso. Our eyes like the day Outriso.
Our eyes are afraid up.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
And I do it a thousand times again.
Speaker 29 (53:49):
Hello, Riso, I like a ways ourso inspite of the
comes up.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
Hello, I'm doing the thousand times a game. The silence
(54:24):
is it why?
Speaker 32 (54:27):
And it feels like gas are getting hard to breathe
and I know you feel like die. But I promise,
will you take the world Jewish fe allday bringing Jewish feed.
Speaker 29 (54:52):
Oh dad he loraza homads like the dagsam all eyes
are afraid.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
Help. We are not doing a thousand times again. Oh
(55:28):
we need, oh we needed it's home, but.
Speaker 28 (55:34):
That we heavy chadd.
Speaker 3 (55:38):
And for that we heavy chadder and we will ride.
Speaker 29 (55:46):
We had a fad rise.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
Well ride ah hos up rise like the day, rise
up in spite of the A. I will ride a
thousand times again and will ride.
Speaker 29 (56:18):
I like the ways, will ride up and it's wide
on the A.
Speaker 8 (56:23):
Well ride.
Speaker 3 (56:26):
And we'll do it a thousand times again. Thank you
(56:53):
for dating me.
Speaker 18 (56:57):
The National Greening Program, run by Streak Canada is dedicated
to planting seedling trees across Canada in BC, the Prairies, Ontario,
Quebec and Atlantic. They prioritize planting on indigenous and public
lands and planting in areas of natural or human cause disaster.
The trees they plant help filter the air and water
and sequestra carbon, among other positive impacts. To learn more
(57:20):
or get involved, go to Treecanada dot ca.
Speaker 4 (57:24):
And that's our show.
Speaker 1 (57:25):
My thanks to Richard Letzir, Avery Lea, Toronto, and the
organizers of the Mad Pride Cafe for speaking with us
and sharing their creative performances. Our music today was by Ulrich,
Jelly Roll, Mendez and Scott. If you appreciated this program,
remember it is uploaded each week as a podcast. You
can listen to all the archives shows back to twenty
(57:47):
twenty two on whatever podcast platform you use. And our
thanks to you, our listeners. You are why we show
up each week. Your feedback on this programming has been
vital in showing us where you need the programming to go.
Speaker 20 (58:01):
We thank you.
Speaker 4 (58:02):
Stay safe out there.
Speaker 1 (58:06):
You've just listened to Rethreading Madness, where we dare to
change how we think about mental health.
Speaker 3 (58:11):
We air live on.
Speaker 1 (58:12):
Vancouver co Op Radio CFRI one hundred point five FM
every Tuesday at five pm or online at co opradio
dot org. If you have questions or feedback about this program,
or want to share your story or have something to
say to us, we want to hear from you. You
can reach us by email Rethreading Madness at co opradio
(58:32):
dot org. This is Bernardine Fox. We'll be back next week.
Speaker 3 (58:36):
Until then, we have ever been further, do what the
hell I'm.
Speaker 4 (58:45):
Gonna do when I can't seem to find my.
Speaker 2 (58:51):
Way under over too, just when I'm ready in and
give up the fight. They are when we turn out
the lights and it's sorry, it's all right.
Speaker 3 (59:11):
Don't you really be alright?
Speaker 29 (59:17):
Why don't I always believe but when.
Speaker 2 (59:20):
You're jelly everything that's gonna be out right?
Speaker 17 (59:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 16 (59:33):
Why don't I wonder how you know?
Speaker 28 (59:38):
Surely you don't have all of the facts.
Speaker 2 (59:43):
You could be just making it up.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
Why don't I ever think of that?
Speaker 4 (59:54):
It's some kind imagine in the words that you read
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