14 Simple Solutions on How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
What's up everybody? Thank you foreveryone tuning in tonight watching the Black Love
Group Chat with your host Rockale.I had to find out find that clap
button. We have a good showtonight. I think it's some in depth
conversation. We want to come withsome solutions. Everybody talks about what's going

(00:23):
wrong with relationships, but how canwe fix these problems. We're gonna get
back. Everybody's gonna introduce themselves andwe're gonna get into it right after this.
All right, everybody go ahead andintroduce yourself. I guess I'll go

(00:47):
first. What's going on? Everybody? I am Brandon also mutant next if
you follow me on What's that?TikTok told Max everyone three on Instagram and
my name ending Shelby on Twitter?What's up? What up? Though?
It was black y'all doing h Helloyou're black today? Interesting? Your name

(01:17):
is black last? Yes, hewas Corey last time. I was Corey
last nime and Tiffany, can youplease explain why you are so important to

(01:38):
the show because everybody else has theirown You know, Brandon is a personality
on YouTube, Black is his ownpersonality, but you're not a personality,
per se but you have a perspective, and so can you clarify why your
perspective is important? Please? That'sa good question. Why is my perspective

(02:00):
this so important? You know what? Well, for one who be playing
with people, hey, it's allday. Let's say that she's a therapist.
Oh yeah, I interact with withlots of people on a daily basis,
and and so I I think Iget lots of different perspectives. I'm

(02:23):
a listening ear for lots of people, and I hope lots of folks kind
of sort through in process challenges they'refacing in life. And uh yeah,
so I guess that's important to theshow. It definitely is. It definitely
is. So I've been a littleresearch tonight. One of the things I

(02:46):
came across was a TED talk withdoctor Andrew and Jonathan Taylor. They have
twenty plus years with countless couples,and they were talking about four habits of
six scessful relationships that they have found. Well, number one, as we
all know, great relationships take work. So let's get into some of these

(03:12):
like statistics or just information, andthen we'll follow it up. Okay,
So fifty percent of all long timecouples are not going the distance, and
emotional trauma is impacting our mental health. The absence of quality relationships is killing

(03:32):
us faster than obesity, and thelack of exercise. These are some of
the things that they pointed out.The single biggest predictor of teenage mental health
is the family breakdown and when couplesseparate children are ten to fifteen percent proven

(03:53):
to have mental health issues, they'remore likely to have mental health issues.
So, now these people are fromthe UK, right now, this is
how crazy this sounds. They're sayingthe family breakdown over there is costing them
fifty one billion pounds per year.Okay, and that's half of the budget

(04:16):
that it takes for their healthcare.Okay. So life events are the challenge
and relationships So like setting up ahouse. We know married couples. We
notice we've all been married or we'restill married on this pet panel. So
like getting a house, birthing achild. So the expectations, the un

(04:42):
expectations become problems, poor conflict resolution, trust and respect issues, and poor
communication. So let's pause on thatbecause then I'm gonna get to the four
things that make the success relationships.Can anybody attest to any of the life

(05:05):
hurdles being an issue in their relationshipwould be that child growth, moving in
together. Whatever can you contest tothat shit? Absolutely, I mean when
you you know, morphen than notwhen you're you know, transitioning or going

(05:27):
with somebody, especially when you're youknow, have met him at a very
early age essentially you know, startingstarting life out. When that child comes
into the picture, Uh, youknow, everything shifts, everything changes.
And I think for the most part, women have that natural inclination to transition

(05:49):
into motherhood and they want to dothe best job they possibly can, so
uh, you know, and andthere's an adjustment period for the father,
you know, having to now besecond or third, you know, so
it takes quite a bit. It'sa it's a massive hit. Plus you

(06:12):
got this new person that's been introducedinto you know, you're a mix that
essentially wasn't there, and now theydemand so many resources, So that could
be a drain on the relationship.Absolutely, And moving in with with individuals
you know that you would only seeat their best. Now you see them
at their at you at their worstand all the time. So these things

(06:35):
compound the already difficult waters you know. Uh, relationships. So absolutely so,
and I definitely I would attest tothat as far as us have byron
I having kids was definitely introducing kidsinto the relationship. How do they beat

(07:00):
it? Was the issue. Ithink when London came along, that's when
the issue began to be complicated.But I know, moving into our first
home, all of that stuff ishurdles. And what I find is interesting
is that we talk about a lotof things before we get into these things,
but we never I don't know mewhen you think about it, like
how strategic are we with sitting downand making a plan and saying what this

(07:26):
looks like and what this can potentiallybe. You know what I'm saying,
It's like we go off of what'sidealistic. Does that make sense? Absolutely?
Yeah. I think there's a lotof assumptions or perceptions of what each
individual believes their relationship is supposed tolook like. And I don't think that

(07:47):
there's a you know, a trueintentional conversation that has I know, we
didn't have an intentional conversation of whatthe five, ten, fifteen years will
look like. You know, wekind of when you know, went with
it, you know, kind ofjust feeled it out. But I mean

(08:11):
I think we did, you know, a fairly good job. But but
that's the that's the issue with mostpeople, right, you know, we
we just don't do a lot ofplanning. You know. I think the
first time we talked about our relationship, what like really talked about our relationship
was and couples, you know thatthat counseling especially you have to have with
the with the pastor before you getmarried, and that was it, you

(08:35):
know. So and I think thatthe numbers will be better in terms of
marriage and then lasting if people didset aside time to talk about the relationship.
Absolutely. Yes, I also thinkthat these were you trying to say
something. No, I wasn't,but I will. Yeah. I think

(09:03):
transitions, whether it be having children, caring for an aging parent, moving,
you know, relocating, buying ahome, the illness of a partner,
all of these things have the potentialto bring forth challenges and relationships.

(09:28):
And yeah, it's important to talkabout some of these things now as far
as like parenting, for example,nobody really knows what it's going to be
like, right, not really right, you know, I think there's a
certain amount of planning and discussion tobe had. That can certainly make the

(09:54):
transition a little less complicated. Butbut yeah, I think most life transitions
and phase of life, you know, issues have the potential to weigh on
on a relationship. Definitely, youbrought up something very important though how often

(10:16):
so sometimes we talk about none ofthis stuff, But sometimes we talk about
what house we want to be in, and we talk about the children we
want to have. But how oftendo we talk about if our parents end
up ate up, are they gonnacome stay with us? Do we?
Ever? I've never had the conversation, well, you know what, I
will say this Byron has brought itup to me, like you know,

(10:37):
with such and such, this isgoing on like we gonna be whoo whoo,
and it gets stressful. That's astressful conversation to have, especially considering
and not on his end. It'snot like we were bickering or anything.
I'm saying totally on my end becauseconsidering all the stuff around it, it's
just like dudes too much, youknow, So these are things we need

(11:00):
to talk about as well. Thatwas a good point to you. You
brought that up for me to addressI mean, not for me to address
it, but it made me likeI gotta address that because that that's important
too. Yeah, I've been UhI had a situation where well I've been

(11:20):
in a situation where that that whatyou was just speaking on was kind of
stressful parent And it happened more thanonce. I think one time it was
my parents, one time it washer parents, then it was her brother,
shit like that, and it's justit's a you know what I'm saying,
it's it'd be uh, It's likeI think at one time I got

(11:46):
to it got to a point onetime like you know what, y'all could
just have this shit I'm gone.But but real time, Yeah, that
that that's that's kind of an issue, especially if it's if it you know,
just just springs up on you.You know what I'm saying, it's
not playing or nothing. Well,such and stuffs gonna have to come stay

(12:09):
with you know, we ain't hadthat conversation. It just kind of happened.
Yeah, that that can get kindof it's like, yeah, more
changes the dynamics. Yeah, itchanged your relationship to dynamic and how you
look at things. You you probablycould be fucking with this person. You're

(12:30):
like, you know what I'm saying. It got to a point where I'm
looking around, I'm the only persongetting up going to work, and this
motherfucker's laid around in my house.You know, I know, you know
it just and I know the reason, you know what I'm saying, but
it's still just don't sit right withI'm getting up five in the more and
it's stepping over my shit, andyou know I can't do it. Oh,

(12:54):
I totally understand. Now, y'allknow, knowing me, and I
know I'm getting we getting off,but this is getting some good conversations,
y'all know, knowing me. Wedidn't have everybody stay in here. I
didn't have family, Byron didn't havefamily. Hell, I've invited some of

(13:16):
his family. We've had people tohelp us babysit. We are literally the
Shelby in just today, we hadreleased a dog and cooking a dog yesterday.
Like it does be so much shitgoing on over here at the Shelby
residence. But I value that aboutour relationship, Like I don't know why,
but I do, Like I valuethat, Like we just be having

(13:39):
a lot of shit going on andwe just and Byron and I just do
it. And he's never like,you know, he'll talk a little shit
about it, but he always justcool. He like, fuck it,
let's do you know what I'm saying, and we keep it moving. And
I really liked that characteristic about myhusband. But it's one thing to have
your brothers stay. It's one thingto have your sister well. It will

(14:01):
even with siblings if they disrespectful orhave the potential to be, that can
be complicated. One thing I wantto say, which is and I don't
think we've I don't I've never heardnobody to talk about this. I think
Tiffany and I have talked about this, and I think it's important because somebody
watching this gonna be like, hellyeah, they're gonna get somebody of this.
One. One thing that's complicated aboutsieves and family members in general staying

(14:24):
with you is if I'm your wifeor I'm your husband. This goes either
way, and your family member disrespectsme and you do nothing about it,
that's a problem. That's a that'sa problem because now this person in my

(14:46):
home, our home. You getwhat I'm saying, but my home in
regards to I'm the one being disrespected. That's why I said that, like
they're on our turf. I don'tgive a damn how they relate to you.
If they disrespectful, you gotta checkthem. And if you don't check
them, it less me. Itless me or has me to believe.

(15:09):
And I'm speaking from as a femaleto the male because I'm a female that
you don't have my back as muchas you say you do. I can't
look up to you to protect becausethere's limitations with the protection. You know
what I'm saying. It's limitations now. Oh, because that's my mamma,
that's my sit. No, she'sdisrefuck respectful. Now, if the disrespect
is mutual, that's different. IfI started something, then it's fair game.

(15:35):
But if you witness the disrespect,that's a problem. How do y'all
feel about that? Imagine being disrespectedby your partner's spouse. How would that
go and they did nothing? Howwould that change your relationship? Well,
that actually did happen with me.When I had the little brother saying here

(16:00):
with me and he and Chequela.Chequela just had I think Bryce, Yeah,
she just had Bryce, and youknow she had already she was already
a bit bothered, irritated with himbeing here and he could detect that,
you know, she thought she wasbeing subtle, she wasn't, and you

(16:23):
know, it just kind of boiledover, and you know, they had
some words and things were said,and of course I had to step in.
And yeah, I think that therewas some sort of conversation about whether
or not my reaction on my responsewas appropriate enough. I don't know if

(16:47):
she she wanted me to put handson him or anything like that. I
can't imagine that that's the case,but I think that there was this perception
that I didn't go hard enough,you know. And you know, that
was a long time time ago,so that's no longer an issue that you
know, since it's gotten past that. But you know, I think that
the conflict is going to occur.It's going to happen when you have you

(17:11):
know, people in for lack ofa better term, in dating your face
and if you're not somebody who's beentested with that, you know, like
you've always had your own room goingup, chances are it's just going to
be challenging to share your space whenyou know strangers. You know, I'm
a man, you know, Idon't think that you know, I should

(17:34):
be searing my space with another man, you know. And I know that's
different for women. You know,I don't know how women feel about,
you know, sharing a space withother women, you know, but yeah,
I think I think you can gothere, and I don't you know,
I think it compounds the issue when, especially when it's a man,

(17:55):
you know. You know, I'vealways seen these things kind of descended to
the most animalistic reactions. You know, we just go straight to blows,
you know, And you know,the potential was always there for some sort
of conflict because you feel territorial andyou got people, you know, a
person invade in your space. SoI don't know, man, it's not

(18:15):
something I would I would recommend atall to allow family members. You know.
Obviously things happen, but you know, it's just not a good dynamic,
especially when you you know, likeuh Black said, you know,
you stepping over people. You theonly productive person in the house. Man
that does something to you to knowthat people you know, you know,

(18:37):
sucking up your hot water, andyou know, opening and closing your refrigerator
and and you know, walking upand down your stairs and you're providing all
of these things for other people,and by and large, a lot of
times, maybe you never get repaidthe way you should have. You know,
it's kind of like a like yousaid, you know, the ship

(19:00):
will be motil. You know that'snot that's not a good. That's not
a good, uh, you know, position to kind of put your family
in and you know the kids areimpacted. So it's it's a lot that
goes into it, you know,just something I just wouldn't recommend, but
we gotta do what we gotta do. You know, the black family,
black community is in a in aprecarious situation, and you know help is

(19:22):
needed everywhere. I suppose, ohdefinitely. I honestly think that the future
really that we're gonna have to startgetting bigger buildings and moving our families in
and community fashion to kind of offsetsome of these costs. I think the
ideal of being in a single familyhousehold, somebody thought it was a good

(19:45):
idea, and it was working untilit didn't and I was becoming impractical.
You know what I'm saying, costis just too high. So we're gonna
have to learn how to get alongwith one another. Because if you got
two people in the building and y'allnot getting along, that's that's can be
a bit much. I mean,but you know, if you if you

(20:07):
build the building out in a certainway where everybody still has their space,
but still you still gotta get alongwith people. So I think that's important.
And no, I do not advocatefor letting people come and stay with
you. We do it. Wehave definitely these Shelby in over here.
Brandon is definitely accurate when he saidwhat he says, like, you know,

(20:29):
you don't get no return. Youdon't and it's a labor of love.
That's the thing about love, andthat leads me to the next point
when it comes to love. Everythingelse that we value in life being our
job, even when we're don't likeour job, like we we put an
effort at our job. Our careers, paths are you know, dreams.

(20:52):
I'm listening to every category in thatfashion or whatever the fuck we care about
we put energy into. Except forour relationships. It's like our relationships were
easy to like throw away and it'sreally weird because it takes work. And
again, the problems in these relationshipsare unmet expectations, poor conflict, negotiation,

(21:18):
trust and respect issues. That's bigwith men. Respect. They want
to be respected and poor communication.Communication is generally big with women, were
you know, so being equipped toget over these hurdles are important, and
so one is be cautious not critical. When you're having a conversation with your

(21:44):
spouse, you want to be Imean, be be curious, not critical.
I'm sorry, not cautious, samething. I mean, you do
want to be cautious, doo,but be curious so you don't want to
come in with your nagging in youryour activisations. Really just feel the person's
head out. How do y'all feelabout that, being curious and not critical.
I'd like to see that. I'dlike to see that it actra Yeah,

(22:08):
I don't think a lot of people. I mean that takes a lot
of intelligence and respect for the otherperson to be curious about their point of
view and what they're talking about.I mean that that's next level type communication.
Now, I just I haven't seenthat that. I mean, I
think that that will solved probably maybeeighty percent of all these issues, because

(22:34):
more often than not with communication isjust misunderstanding it is. But don't you
go ahead to you I'm sorry,no, I was gonna say. I
certainly see it in relationships, maybenot as much as we would like to
see it, right, I thinkI certainly here is everything okay? Or

(22:59):
you good? Or you know?I mean, I think that's a form
of showing or expressing curiosity, youknow something I'm noticing something's up with a
so, and it's very helpful andit's necessary. However, like Brandon said,
oftentimes we jump to conclusions, rightbecause we internalize a lot of these

(23:22):
behaviors or moods, and you know, we all automatically become defensive. We
think it's about us. We thinkthere's you know, we don't know.
We're not we're not being curious enoughto try to gain some understanding or figure
out what's going on with that personwe think we know, right, So,

(23:45):
yeah, it's what is that thingthat people do that's said? Is
it like a sabotage mechanism of sorts? We want to believe some bullshit is
going on for whatever reason. Sowe jumped, is it hyper vigilance?
Like, what do you think isthe reason for that? That's mainly with

(24:11):
women? First of all, thatbull said, I mean it needed to
be said, saying I would sayingthis shit be y'all, not all women.
But it's mainly with women. Theyy'all see this ship before it even
you know what I'm saying, It'salready internally stored in your brain at you

(24:36):
know, whatever the situation may be, and then it just come out and
now we on defense. That's howI got through that ship all the time.
It's y'all, it's not us.Well, some people, whether it's
male or female, some people aremore offensive two those kinds of things,

(24:59):
right, facial expressions, all ofthat. Some people are are just naturally
more sensitive to that. You know, have you ever, for instance,
had a conversation with somebody and thenyou told, you know, your significant
other or your friend like that,did you feel that, like that something
was off their energy is bad orwhatever, and not everybody notices yeah,

(25:22):
you know, or something that meand Rachael have talked about before. You
know, a young lady's talking toto your spouse and you're like, oh,
she was kind of flirting with you, and he's like huh right.
So I mean, some people arejust more just naturally more sensitive to those
kinds of things. So it couldit can be men or women black well

(25:48):
even Okay, so let's I meanto unpack that a little bit more right.
So even that example you said moremore morepen than not. People are
just more sensitive to it. Butit seems like the stuff that most women
can kean in or clue into isnegative. It's usually not the other way
around, Like you don't you don'tget that, Hey, did you?

(26:11):
Did you notice that? You knowthis person was giving you positive clues or
this? And the third is generallyalways have like a negative connotation associated with
it, you know what I mean, Like because I understand what you're saying
to I've been you know, onin that type of exchange before. And

(26:33):
but it's generally like the position isalmost like it's always negative, like the
picking up the vibes to, youknow, the keying into certain you know,
uh, you know, behavior clues. We'll see. We seem to
be, like Rockale said, hypervigilant on some of the negative stuff,
you know what I mean? Isn'tthat across the board though, with I

(26:56):
mean, when things are going well, people don't mention it. When life
is going well, people don't mentionthose things that are going well. You
you tend to shed light on oror express you're when you you tend to
notice things when they're not going wellbasically, and so so for the most

(27:22):
part, women just ignore all ofthe good stuff and only remember the bath
stuff any particular person or even inrelationships. I'm just saying just in life,
when things are going well, whenyou had a decent day at work,
you may not even talk about work, right, But if something went
wrong at work, then you're morelikely to talk about your day at work.

(27:45):
Yeah, most definitely. And Ithink I think that, Yeah,
I think it does go both ways, because if you think about it,
like just on the basic level,you know, y'all gonna have a conversation
about some conflict. How often doeseither partner come and say, hey,
and this is something we're gonna getinto later on in this conversation, but

(28:07):
hey, I really like how youdid this. I really appreciate I notice
you did this. I thank youfor this, you know what I'm saying.
Just how often do we do thaton either end? You know what
I mean? And then too,A lot of this is programming. We
have to be honest. When youopen your phone, you turn on the
news. Everywhere, they're broadcasting somedumb stuff all the time. It's negative

(28:30):
negative, negative. Look look,look, look, look right now,
we are what's going viral now?Black and white people fighting at the pier,
they fighting, some food, jumpedin the water. That we're proud
of our people. They didn't jumpedin the water. Look pass and all
this stuff, and you know weare not. Our ancestors were going all
that stuff, and I get it. But it's just like, this is

(28:52):
the stuff. We're programmed to notice, the outrageous or the issues because that
is what is always projected to us. So we for survival, Yes,
that too, for survival. Imean it's instinctual you point out. I
mean you notice, you take noteof the things that are potentially harmful or

(29:17):
threatening to you. Oh yeah,for sure, for sure. So when
you're having a conversation, it needsto be more us centered than me centered.
Right, And it's so easy tobe self concerned or selfish. Try

(29:41):
to stay away from that selfish wordbecause that has other positive placements. Boundaries
should be set to keep from goingtoo far, and boundaries like this would
be okay, So we're gonna talkabout this whenever we have a conversation.
These are the things that we cannotdo. We cannot put our hands on

(30:02):
one another. These are just exampleswe should not be mentioning divorce if you're
married just because you're mad. Wecan't go to bed angry. I think
it's important to set boundaries. That'sanother like feel safe. How do y'all
feel about that? No, Imean I think, yeah, I think

(30:29):
I think that's good. Good.Yeah, I mean I think it's a
good starter pack. You know you'regonna need You're gonna need quite a bit
more, but yeah, I thinkthat's a good starter pack for a couple
of things to you kind of createsome some some structures on you know,
just some good things to try andpractice to at the very least put some

(30:55):
parameters into in some guidelines. Butyou know it's gonna be you know,
you're gonna have to act quite abit more home. But you know,
I think that's that's a start.There's a lot of people and a lot
of relationships that don't even have thatright. So without trying to make you
guys uncomfortable, if you're willing toshare, can you name something that so

(31:17):
you've had an argument and it wassomething that was brought up or done that
was just too far that could havebeen prevented if we had a boundary conversation.
Is anybody willing to share on thattoo? Oh, I'm trying to
think because I didn't do it atall. I didn't have all the fights,

(31:42):
you know, all kind of shit. I've passed that in my life.
But I can't. I can't justoff the hand just give you one,
because I don't really you know,I leave that shit in the past
and I forget and move on.But what I was gonna ask you,
I'm sorry, I know you askedthe question. What I was gonna ask

(32:02):
you when you said, don't goto bed angry or whatever. If y'all
gotta if it's an argument or whatever, you know, and y'all a disagreement
or whatever, you have to cometo some type of agreement or whatever you

(32:23):
got, you gotta come to sometype of resolution or something. For whatever
y'all was bigger and about arguing,about fussing at each other, whatever y'all
getting regular to bed. I mean, do you if okay, at what
point? What I'll guess I'm tryingto say is at what point do you
just agree to disagree and that's it. That should be done. It should
be over with, it should bedone. Or you can agree to disagree

(32:45):
and say, at this moment,we can't come to a general consistence,
so let's just agree to disagree,and what cooler heads prevail, we will
talk about it again, but andtry to shift the mood or something,
you know, I mean, becausethink about it. Have y'all ever,
cause I know that y'all know,y'all know, y'all don't done this.
Y'alldn't did something. Y'all didn't winout, was out too late or something

(33:06):
whatever happened. You know, yourgirl's gonna be mad when you went to
the crib. What do y'all do? Y'all call and be like what you
want to eat? Because they knowyou already know, so y'all know how
to do conflict resolutions. But itjust seemed like all of a sudden,
people get clueless. You're gonna callme on that phone be like hey,

(33:29):
bag, hey, yeah, soit's gonna be some ridiculous story. Yeah
it's it's And the whole time wewere like, this is something bullshit.
But I would definitely take that mealand Brandon you laugh because you know it's
real. You know that's yeah,it's real. Nob I remember that.

(33:52):
I remember when that happened. Thatwas who was that? That was Greg's
wedding. We got luck. YeahI was being good that night. I
don't even think I was there.No, you were passed out all night

(34:13):
and we took your We appreciate that. Man. That was awesome about that.
Yeah, we get home. Ithink we got home and like man
like we got Yeah, it wascrazy. I got locked out and the
story was ridiculous too. Yeah,it was an awesome night, man,

(34:34):
awesome night. Here's the thing withme, though, I want to be
because I want I do think thatwomen. I try to get away from
that controlling nature, you know,because a lot of stuff just be control
and fear and just craziness. You'reyou're an adult, so adults. You

(34:55):
are who you are outside of me. So if you're gonna be out late,
that's fine. I'm but just letme know. The issue be that
you're gone and I don't know what'sgoing on. That's why I'm tripping,
not so much because you didn't makeit through the door at a certain time.
It's just like me, No,you know, you can even tast
me were on the bullshit. I'llsee you at you know what I'm saying
Okay, cool, you're on somebullshit. I mean, you know,

(35:19):
it happens. I'm sure at somepoint I'm gonna be on some bullshit,
so that's cool. But it reallyis about communicating. And I think that
we're so used to people tripping.If we could get away from the tripping
aspect and just accept what's being told, I think things will be a lot
better. But we have to beable to release the control and the judgment.

(35:43):
I'm that's just my opinion. Thejudgment and the controlling shit is fucking
us up. It's sucking us up. And I'm not saying that we shouldn't
have boundaries. You know what I'msaying like you're not about to say I'm
about to go bust down these threeholes. I'll be nigga what you know
what I'm saying, Like, that'snot gonna be. But what are we
talking about? Are we in apoly relationship? All right? Let me

(36:04):
know something. You know what I'msaying. I ain't even gonna elaborate.
I'm just gonna say, let meknow something. But you know, some
stuff can be too ridiculous, Butfor the most part, we should be
able to talk about things for real. Anybody have anything else to say?
It sounds good, but I don'tknow a woman is ready to hear.

(36:28):
Look, look, baby, I'mout with the fell We all some bullshit.
I'd be home with you. Knowyou're not really trying to hear that.
No woman is trying to hear that. Well, I won't say this.
I will say this black, Iwould agree with you, but she
would be very different if it waslike you bullshit and on Friday, but
on Saturday we got our day.So here's the thing. If you're too

(36:49):
busy for us, you're too busyfor everybody. You feel what I'm saying.
But you can't be with your boyshanging out and being stupid, and
then you don't have time for me. And I think that's why women trick,
because it's like you out here hangingwith your boys, y'all hanging like
with clothes, but here it iswith me. You ain't got no time,

(37:09):
you can't figure out where to go. But when you have a pretty
solid relationship, like for instance,Byron and Rock Hell, they know each
other quite well, the communication ispretty open there. So if Byron were
to say something like that to you, you already kind of have an idea.
Okay, it's probably branding and blackand you know what I mean,

(37:31):
like, yeah, probably really Ikind of know what that looks like,
I know what that means. Yeah, and I ain't worried about it at
all. See you in the morning, even though he don't do it.
I'm just saying see you, youknow, I mean, cause we've been
together so long. But you know, some people just crazy as hell.
Though some people just tripping the nameof trip and eye line. These people

(37:52):
exist. So here's a number three. Ask don't assume this prevents this trust.
So for example, and this isthis is the example that they had
gave. So I'm just getting withagain. The man might expect his wife

(38:13):
to be to him like his momwas to his dad, and when she's
not that way, then it's aproblem. That's just an example. So
we need to ask and not assume. So we need to be talking about
how how we even want this relationshipto look. You know, I was

(38:35):
used to my dad being like thisis my mom? Is that something that
type of time you're on or whatever? And see how let go What do
y'all think about that? Oh that'simportant. I mean, if you're going
into a relationship with certain expectations.It's important to talk about that, you

(39:00):
know. And just because one personone person's actions mean a certain thing doesn't
mean that. If if the personyou're with and they do whatever that behavior
is means the same thing, itmay not. Yeah, you know,
I will say this. When ByronI started off, our whole story is

(39:21):
it's nuts and it's great, hesaid to me, don't have any expectations
or don't hold me to any expectation, something to that effect. Now,
I know most people watching me like, oh girl, he a sub Boyshit,
No he really wasn't. I understoodwhere he was coming from and that
had worked for us. But Ido think even though we had more of

(39:46):
a just going with the flow,throwing caution to the wind and just keeping
it moving type situation, I thinkstructure helps prevent some of this shit.
I really do. Everybody can't dothat. Everybody can't throw balls to the
wall like something. We gotta wegotta have a talk with some of these
people because people be unhinged. Yougotta rollity just get you know what I'm

(40:08):
saying. I'm just saying I meanbecause it might be a chick. Okay,
let's let's throw it on the chicks. Right. We just seen Sukian
a summer walker and Sexy Red outthey out working on cars, They at
the club talking, you know,going crazy. Just and the third you
might have a type of female thatlikes to go out hang loose with her

(40:31):
friends. Now, you might nothave been as aware of it when y'all
weren't living together because y'all not youknow, y'all not sharing the same household,
and she ain't checking in with youall the time. But then you
move together and you realize, oh, this girl likes to hang out all
the time, and now it's aproblem. You see what I'm saying.
You had an expectation of what sheshould be like now that she's in a

(40:53):
relationship with you. But had youhad this conversation or or ask more questions,
I don't know how you would arriveto this. But either way,
both is good. These could bedifferent, you know what I'm saying.
I don't want to just throw themen out here. We gotta we gotta,

(41:13):
we gotta say what the women bedoing too. Yeah, I think
there's a but there's a like amisunderstanding on the power dynamic in relationships.
Because while I think that in theorythat that would work, that's good,
men essentially will allow a whole hostof behaviors just to get some pussy.

(41:39):
And you know, so you knowit, you gotta be I guess you
gotta be willing to evolve. Butyou know, you essentially like that Sukhina,
you know, example, you probablymet her in the club, you
know, and of course since yougot it now, you would like for

(42:00):
her to change. But you knowhow hypocritical that would be. So you
know, so it's kind of likea double ledge for it, you know,
and then you you risk the potentialof not being able to smash cakes,
you know, going forward by youknow, passing this woman off on
something that you fully, truly,you know, believe that you should stand

(42:20):
firm one. You know, Ithink it's a lot of noodle backs out
there, and you know they don'thave the ability to kind of stand on
their work. So and that hurts, uh, you know, relationships,
especially if you're not strong enough toyou know, curtail certain unwanted behavior as
a man. So too, Iagree with you're saying. I also think

(42:45):
that we need to be clear towith our intentions. So if you want
a wife, and you have certainstandards of what you feel that the wife
would be appropriate for you, thenyou need to go be with that type.
If you're just trying to link upand you don't have a little fun,
then you need to be clear withthat. But I think trying to

(43:07):
you know, when you abruptly switchlanes, that's when accidents happen. You
know, she in this lane,he in this lane. Now you want
to bring them over to this lane, you know, so you need to
figure out what lane were driving inbecause now we're about to crash. We're
about to have a collision because you'retrying to switch lanes too fast, you
know what I'm saying. So intentionsis a lot too because because I do,

(43:30):
I think that's wild. I thinkthat's wild to meet someone and they're
they're they're a club head, andthen you want them to sit down and
there was no conversation on how theyfelt about that, Like if you if
we get serious, how will youfeel about this? I really think that
we should do this. Then thethird you're not having that conversation. Now
you're just mad because she's doing this. Then the third I think that's insane

(43:52):
and vice versa. You know whatI'm saying. I think it's insane.
We need to we need to communicatemore and live on our heads less.
Let's less assumptions, less judgment,let's criticize it, let's just talk about
it. It's okay, let's talkabout it, which brings up the next
one. Connect before you correct.So learn how to communicate appreciation, remembers

(44:17):
of welwys. Gonna talk about thisand value without being quick to critique or
attack. Okay, I think that'simportant. This isn't an interesting topic here,

(44:38):
and I think a lot of peoplestruggle with their I remember hearing it.
I don't. I'm not sure whereI heard this, but it was
said that once you accept me,then I can change M. Say that

(45:00):
again, once you accept me,then I can change M. Hmm.
That sounds dangerous. Depends on howyou look at it. Yeah, I
was about to say it depends onhow you look at it. Yeah,
that's I mean, that's that's likelicense to continue to perform badly like that,

(45:29):
Like, what's the incentive to changeif I've already accepted Again, it
depends on how you're looking at it. Accepting something. Acceptance doesn't mean I
agree with you in what world?No, that is literally not what acceptance
means. Acceptance is not synonymous withI agree with this, right. Acceptance

(45:55):
is a stage of grief. Youdon't have to agree with what has happened.
Okay, so, but but soin that term, it's do you
see me? Right? All ofme? People are who they are based
on their experiences, based on allkinds of things. And if you're unwilling

(46:19):
to see me for who I am, I'm we're constantly button head. If
everybody's defenses are up, that's that'sreally not a space where we can evolve,
right, So there there does needto be some level of acceptance before

(46:42):
we can move forward. So Brandon, I don't know. This might be
a stupid ass example you tell me. But okay, so let's so supervisor,
you talk, supervisor, you're goodwith that, So supervisor, right,
show ass up. You don't agree, But guess what you gonna do.
You're gonna accept it. Because ifyou don't accept it, to not

(47:02):
accept it mean to be fuck thisjob, walk off and find something else.
You see what I'm saying? Likeyou you So, what I'm saying
is we ain't gonna quit our jobevery time they give us some bullshit we
don't want to deal with. Soit's it's okay, I accept it.
We don't have to change just today. Let's see what compromise we can come

(47:23):
to, you know what I mean, But you don't have to agree with
it. It was does that kindof make sense? I mean, I
also have to meet people where theyare. That that's the thing. You
have to meet a person where theyare or else. Well, I communication's
gonna go straight over my head.Well no, I can. I understand
that the concept of accepting somebody andbelieving who they present, but I just

(47:47):
don't see that as as that isa belief that change is inevitable. Like
I don't like, you know,just the statement of you know, in
order to accept me and then Iwould change. It's it's kind of like,
uh, you know, that's that'skind of like I think, what

(48:09):
what what a STEMP would think?You know what I mean? Like,
I don't. I don't think you'remisunderstanding what I'm saying too. So I'm
not saying change is inevitable. Ididn't say accept me and then I will
change. I said, then Ican change. Oh, well, I
mean or you could stay the same. So yeah, I mean exactly,

(48:31):
yeah right, change is right,Yeah, okay, I can I can
say who I am and you candecide not to continue a relationship with me.
Awesome, that's also an option.Correct, absolutely going in saying this
is who you are and I'm notabsolutely not going to have this. I'm

(48:54):
not accepting who you are. Thennothing's I mean, we won't even go
any part of it. Right,So I mean so correct, I agree
my question and I and I posethis to everybody. This is a high
level of communication, right, Thisis these because this is this is my

(49:15):
like, my lane. So whenwe are trying to change behaviors, this
is typically how the conversation would go. We're at the point of the you
know, agreeing on next steps,you know what the future looks like now
that we have all of the informationout. So my question is, do
you think that the black community,because this is about the black black couple's

(49:40):
disconnect, do you think that theblack community is at the point where something
like this could work. I thinkthat collectively, I think I think growth
also comes to understanding. Is alwaysgoing to be a group of people that's

(50:01):
just gonna beat him, and Idon't think that marriage in this type of
living is for everybody. I don'tthink everybody wants it, and I think
that's okay because we and the wayto look at it is like this,
the way to accept it right accepted, the world has to go around and

(50:22):
there has to be different people forthe world to work. If everybody was
on the same page that we believethat they should be on, we would
not exist. It would be nopoint to be here. I mean,
and if you think about it,it just makes sense. So so we'll
take that factor out. But Ithink those that are like you me,
Tiff Black, I think it willwork because I think we're generally looking to

(50:46):
get along and motherfucker's I don't wantto get it. They ain't gonna get
it, and we can't worry aboutthem. Suck them, I mean,
you know, not fuck them.I don't mean to be rude to y'all,
but you know what I'm saying,Fuck y'all. You know what I
ain't I'm saying. So, yeah, we just have we also have to
realize that it is what it isright until we can come to terms with

(51:08):
it is what it is right now, not that it can't change not that
we don't get why it is whatit is, but we have to come
to terms with this is what itis. So but do we agree what
it is? Because I don't thinkthat there's a consensus on the state of

(51:30):
the black community, Like I don'tthink that we fully understand how far gone
we are right now. It's it'scomplex. It's complex, and and I
say that because there is not everybody'snot on the same and on the same

(51:54):
terms, right, So when youyeah, so when you make that generalized
statement, I think it is difficultfor people to grasp. Not everybody has
the same skill sets. Not everybodycan't communicate or even comprehend the dynamics in

(52:17):
problems and things that are going on. So it's complex. So let me
ask this question. And I'm reallynot trying to be funny. Oh and
I'm gonna ask this to everybody.Okay, if the world was how the
way you see it to be,fit, if the world was to change

(52:40):
tomorrow and be how you wanted tobe, how do you think that would
change your world? How do youthink that would impact you? Fake out
again right now? So everybody hasa viewpoint of how they feel that the
world should be like mind in general, I think motherfuckers need to mind their

(53:02):
business, you know, and Ithink there needs to be less government and
we need to work together. Howdo you think that would positively impact your
life if things went the way youthought think they should go? And a
reason why I ask that because it'slike, are these outside factors really affecting

(53:24):
us as much as we think theyare or is it a mental thing?
Because I mean, it's nothing wrongwith us wanting good for the black community.
I'm saying that's a good thing.It's nothing wrong with that, But
I'm just saying sometimes it's just likeit can be a more mental burn to

(53:46):
be so worried about so much,you know what I'm saying. So it's
just I just want to know howy'all think, Like if the world was
how you wanted it to be,Yeah, I mean well, for me,
I know that if the world wasthe way that that I wanted it

(54:07):
to be, it would be better. There would be you know, a
lot less instances of mental stress andmental illness, you know. And that's
a lot to ask, but Ithink that things are compounded, especially when
it comes to the black man,because he's having so many fights, so

(54:30):
many battles, and to fight inbattle you know, out in the world
and then come home and have todo that with somebody was supposed to be
your your your support is disheartening.So yeah, I mean, at the
very least, if that was acomponent, if even if it was just

(54:51):
one thing I could change for allblack men in the United States, it
would be that they had a morecompassionate, willing, and meenable significant other,
you know, one for each man. But that's not the case.
Okay, So can you tell mewhat does a battle for you look like?

(55:13):
What? What? What battles areyou facing when you leave the house
on a consistent basis that that youcan pinpoint shit. I mean every day
you you you have the potential tobe targeted obviously by you know, the
cops, the ops, another brotherthat looks like you. You know,

(55:35):
you got to navigate the the streetsa particular way. You gotta you know,
be on your p's and q's becauseyou know, as as a man,
you you you're always you know,you gotta be aware of you surround
us because you could be a potential, you know, victim of something that's
just in the city, right,that's just going to the store that could
have that could occur any anywhere.And then you gotta go into these the

(56:00):
people's companies and do you know,be do and be what they need you
to be in order for you tomake that money and come home. And
then you have to navigate the sameissues that you got to navigate in the
world with you know, you know, implicit biasedness and you know close racism.

(56:22):
You have to you have to navigatethat in the workplace. And it's
compounded by the fact that it's reallyinconvenient to be a man in this current
climate. So you know, that'syou know, a component, and then
you put your color, your coloron top of that. So I'm not
saying that it's bad every day,but I think that men, especially black

(56:46):
men, have had many more instancesof where, you know, the world
has taught to them that we're goingto treat you differently than we would in
the provide that you had, youknow, cities in the fat ass,
you know what I'm saying. Andit's just more difficult, it's just harder.
And you know, nobody really checksout for the black man. Nobody

(57:08):
you know, you know, uhreally look out for us. You know,
we we're kind of like a communityof our own. So you know,
uh, those are some of theissues that we're facing. It.
We can't we you know, wewe can't have a down date. We
can't you know really for the mostpart, you know, come up short.

(57:31):
If we are we we were thrownto the side. I think,
uh Chris Rock said it perfectly.He said, you know, women and
children and animals are love unconditioning,and but a man is loved under the
condition that he provides. And that'sthat's that's the reality. But we don't,

(57:53):
you know, more of from thenight. We don't. We don't
you know, we don't have ayou know, a violin, and we
we don't cry about it. Butthat's the reality, you know, you
know when the last time you toldhim, you know, a black man
that hey man, you know,just for the hell of it, I
appreciate you, I love you,and I thank you for everything that you
do. And you'd be surprised howyou know, how how how amazing that

(58:20):
would make that man feels you know, So, Brandon, I want to
first acknowledge that the feelings that youhave in concerns and things that you're dealing
with are real. And valid,But I also want to say that I
think it's a lot of assumptions,and I'm not speaking on your in per
se. For instance, there's assumptionsthat if you're a woman, you get

(58:45):
certain privilege. There's assumptions even withme, because I'm light skinned, light
eyes, I get certain fruit privilege, or I have a certain body type.
And I can tell you I don'treally think none of them has helped
me in my lifetime. I mean, I've always had a hard time getting
employed. And you know, unlessunless like my dad was in on it
or something like that, true,the way I look ain't making my channel

(59:07):
go any faster, you know whatI'm saying, Like, I don't know,
women have to deal with somebody alwaystelling them how they should be.
They're always under the microscope. Andmen are as too well too. I
mean you guys are too, butwe're under the microscope as well. We're
supposed to be We're supposed to befeminine and we're supposed to be fit,

(59:30):
or we're supposed to be mothers andwe're supposed to love it. Like,
it's just so much shit that womenhave to deal with. I've had to
deal with racism, I literally wasdenied a job and wasn't even told why
it fully qualified and probably could Iain't gonna sue, but probably could.
But you know what I'm saying,It's just it's been a lot of stuff

(59:52):
that I've dealt with that people mightthink that, oh, because you look
a certain way or you're built acertain way, it should be easy.
So I think that we all havelike a lot of preconceived notions about things.
But until we really talk about thesethings, And my apologies if I
was kind of vague, but youknow, we we just need to communicate,

(01:00:13):
you know, the guy, Icertainly hear you, Brandon, and
all those things you mentioned, andblack men in this country certainly face unique
challenges, that is for sure,Okay. I also I am not so

(01:00:37):
sure that it's accurate to say thatwomen and children are loved unconditionally. I
think lots of people will disagree withthat. That is not the experience for
many black women, I don't know, and children you know, for that

(01:00:59):
matter as well. Maybe not asmany, but yeah, I don't I
don't think. I don't think manyblack women would agree with that. So
you think comparatively that overall comparing I'mnot comparing. Oh then how can we
then, how could you quantify that? Then what I said was, I

(01:01:23):
agree that men have a unique experience, but when you say that that women
and children are loved unconditionally, Idon't agree with that part. I don't
think that's the experience of all womenand children. No, I'm not talking
about awe. You know, there'sgonna be outliers that, but it doesn't

(01:01:44):
disprove Yeah, but it doesn't disprovethe rule. Think. Okay, so
Carly, that young lady Carly wasa perfect example of how women are viewed
in our society. There's a there'sa just a standard of behavior when it

(01:02:07):
comes to women. Women are prioritizedin the West, specifically over Then you
don't believe that what you said wasloved unconditionally. That's what I was correct,
right, I mean talking about likewho's going to be sought after?

(01:02:29):
First? Okay, well what youmean with Carly? Because they told her
ass up, They told her assup about that dumb stuff. So yeah,
after they found out that she waslying. But you know that's this
was headline news, this was nationalnews, you know what I mean.

(01:02:50):
But my, my, my pointof even saying that. I don't think
that. I don't know Tiff that. I think it's it's very well understood
that women in our society are areloved unconditionally. There's not a lot of
a scrutiny that comes to the wayof women in the West at all.

(01:03:17):
Okay, I mean we could,we could agree to disagree. I just
don't. I don't agree with thatin terms of black women, I don't.
All these podcasts they got Fresh andFit, Andrew Tate, Anton Daniels
and more and more and more menare getting on this boy every day talking
shit about women. And it couldbe true, a lot of shit they

(01:03:38):
say it's true, but they nonathey talking shit. And then that man
was he blew his wife away beforetheir divorce. Heory he wasn't loving them
kids unconditionally when he threw that blewthat mama's hand off. You see what
I'm saying. How many men,when they done with the mama, they'll

(01:03:59):
go and be with And I'm notsaying there's a lot. I want to
be clear, y'all, it's alot of stand up black men because I
don't want us to get on thistrain. That's not what I'm saying.
But I do know there are menthat will lead a family, get with
another woman and she can have abunch of kids. Hello, because I
know these people, I'm just saying, and take care of their kids,
her kids and their kids. Theybe getting into it with their kids if

(01:04:21):
they even contact their kids. SoI think that, like anything, we
see what it's put in front ofus, and and that's really what we're
going off because I'm telling you theytold Carly. Everybody got on YouTube and
tore Carly ass up. They shouldand what are you gonna do? I

(01:04:43):
mean, because you can't really accusenobody until you know all the facts.
You know, says she saw thebaby and situation really was and she needs

(01:05:03):
to have some consequences behind that,because you can't be wasting time. But
see but see here's the thing too. Then this is why I think that
stuff BBS two because it's like hereit was, well how many people refugees
was coming over here? Seven hundredand they was dying and stuff like that.
They didn't cover that. I thinkI think it's just BS. Like

(01:05:25):
I think it's like whatever the mediabe wanting you to stories are certainly I
mean, they pick and choose rightwhat they're gonna cover because yeah, I
mean five billionaires went down in thein the ocean, in the chapstick too,

(01:05:46):
with no with they couldn't see outof it or nothing with the remote
controller, and they're dying like theokay man, and the world's still gonna
spend how about that because it's somebodyover to to my was down for me
that got blown away, and y'alldon't care about that. So billionaires,
we ain't worry about no billionaires,okay, we just I'm sorry, I'm

(01:06:08):
just I don't I'm not saying thatall lives matter, all I didn't matter.
We give a fuck, but wereally don't. Get's people out here
dying for real that don't half billionsof dollars y'all elected to go down there,
and they worried the shit out outof us days about that mess.
No, well, they didn't worryme because I ain't even pay attention to

(01:06:29):
it. I was like, okay, more dumb stuff cool, So you
know, but that's propaganda news foryou. And you know I know cause
I was propaganda eyes in twenty seventeen, so I know what time it is.
Let's see, so well, howlong We've been here hours six minutes.

(01:06:49):
Okay, we could probably do anotherhalf hour and get a body here,
y'all cause I know black gotta goto bed, So steph Ianna or
Stephania, I'm sorry. A marriagetherapist gave some tips on how to keep

(01:07:11):
your relationship in good standing. Someof these might sound similar to what we
said before, but number one,Validate what your partner says. Create a
balance so you don't have to agreewith everything. We kind of talked about
this, but don't be a contrarianto what they're saying. You know,
you don't have to be condescending,but validate. I hit, babe,

(01:07:36):
I hear what you're saying, andI've definitely see where you're coming from with
that. I guess where I'm kindof concerned is bo bo bo bop.
You know, Roy says, Ithink what is a weak man and what
is a real man needs to bedefined better. Okay, I think that's

(01:07:59):
relative. I mean because it's youknow, it's some check somewhere barefoot in
the alley talking about she loved herman, and he a strong man,
and he lived in a basement somewhere. You know what I'm saying. So
I think that's relative, and Iknow that's very ridiculous royal, but I
get what you're saying. I getwhat you're saying the comments. Yes,
that's somebody in the comments. Arewe looking for doctor Oumars or are we

(01:08:23):
looking for little oozy verse? Right? I got it. Have y'all found
yourselves validating you know your partner?Have you ever actually done that? Like,
I understand what you're saying, youknow, cause I think so many

(01:08:45):
so often we're talking and we're justtrying to get to our point and we're
not acknowledging what the person is saying. I've done that before where I actually
had to listen, because that's likethe main thag. It's actually listening and
hearing somebody, you know, yoursignificant other or whatever, and what they're

(01:09:10):
complaining about, especially if it's repetitive. And I know I do. I
have done a lot of repetitive shit. You know. I'm saying, yeah,
all right, my bad, Ifeel you know, and keep on
doing the same shit. But onceyou start hearing some once you start hearing
them or hit, you know,and listening to their pain or whatever,

(01:09:30):
then you go and start to makethe adjustments. I ain't gonna. I
don't like saying change because at thispoint in my age, there's no change.
Now I can make adjustments. Yeah, I'm big onna not giving the
fuck no Mo, that's that partof me is all the way going.

(01:09:51):
But yeah, that's cool though,because when you go to Taylor suit,
you don't change the suit. Youmade alterations. Yeah, you though,
so I you know, make justice. But like you were saying, yeah,
I have done that before. WhatI have to you know, validate
that. That's dope. Yeah,I certainly hope that most people who live

(01:10:15):
done. Since we've all been marriedand in long term committed relationships, I
certainly hope at some point we've validatedthe other person and their their feelings or
experience. You know what, Barber, don't he be like, I get
what you're saying, babe, butyou know he do. Yeah, And

(01:10:38):
sometimes it's okay to just be like, I hear you, I I get
how you you know how you feeland why you might feel that way,
and I you know, here yourpoint and just be done with it.
I mean, you don't even haveto go with the butt and whatever else.
You know, Yeah, is it? I think it kind of works
easier when you just you know,be with it instead of but you know

(01:11:01):
a lot, a lot just letit go, you know. Uh.
There's a pro tip, uh conversationalwith what they call executive conversations and what
you would say if if you wantto, you know, like supercharge is
the conversation right instead of saying yeah, but you can say yes and blah

(01:11:29):
blah blah. You know, youdon't you last time you came in that
you know, eight thirty in themorning and you didn't acknowledge that you know,
blah blah blah, yes, andI apologize at that particular time and
going forward, this is blah blahblah blah blah. And that's that's that's
digestion a little bit better in conversations. I think that if we just changed

(01:11:50):
and tweet you know, some waysthat we like because you know, in
sales, you you have to overcomeobjections all the time. And when you
kind of tailor or not even tailor, just augment how you rebut something or
overcome an objection just by changing afew words. You know, but obviously

(01:12:13):
is something that you know you don'twant to, don't want to use,
you know, anything that's accusatory.You definitely want to avoid ask more questions,
you know, and and you know, I think one thing that if
I had to give a single protip for men and for women, I
say, for for men, speaksofter that that that will go over much

(01:12:40):
better. And for women, askquestions. You'd be surprised. And a
lot of conversations when you have withmen and women, women tend not to
ask a lot of questions. Justkind of pay attention to the next time
you have a conversation with someone andcount how many times you asked them kind

(01:13:03):
of like the clarifying just like wecall them clarifying discussion questions or you know,
something to open up the conversation formore discovery of what that person's point
of view may be, versus makingassumptions. But for men, it really
it comes down the tone. Ifa man, most men could adjust their

(01:13:26):
tone and watch their inflections, Ithink that, you know, they'll be
able to have a better and moremeaningful conversations. So oh yeah, oh
yeah, and I will have toI think that I think that's a great
too, Brandon, You're welcome that. What's your rate? Definitely found myself

(01:13:50):
the person I'm talking to to begentle with me. I have literally had
to ask them, you know,especially if you know I'm in a vulnerable
spot, you know, and orcommunicating something that is very serious or important

(01:14:11):
or you know, be mindful ofmy emotions and what's going on right now.
You know, I don't need youthrowing the F word and saying this
and that, like, hey,can you get chill out for a second,
can you? I just I needyou to be gentle with me right
now. Yeah, that's dope.That Yeah, that's that's dope tip.

(01:14:32):
And that's dope Brandon, just howone word can really change the trajectory of
the conversation, just swapping out.And I think that was a very good
tip to share. You know whatI'm saying people need to hear that they
do. And it's as tough asme and you know, people think me
and are like you know, havethese these heart shells and exteriors, but

(01:14:59):
they also need you to be gentlewith them at times, right So I
mean this goes both ways. It'snot I'm not saying be gentle with me
because I'm a woman. I'm sayingbecause right now I need you, that's
what that's what I need, rightAnd there are times where men also need
you to be to be careful andgentle with them too. Yeah, I

(01:15:19):
mean, you know, if ifyou care about the person, then you
should take care in your conversation inrelating to them. I mean it's sometimes
shit gets crazy. I try toavoid saying anything that I can't take back
you you might think it. Sohere's a pro tip. All this shit

(01:15:40):
you wanna say, just think thatshit in your head. Just you can.
You could talk all this shit youI'm talking about, go ham and
just look like this. That's it. That's it. And no, but
you gotta ma people where they atlike tips saying you got It's gotta be

(01:16:02):
some compromise, you know what I'msaying. Like I was telling women play
damns or in distress, that don'tmean be an airhead, but just just
be helpless at the be smart andhelpless. I did a video on that.
Y'all need tips, Heil go watchit. I think sometimes it's uh
like what Brandon was saying, thetone, but it's it's more of not

(01:16:23):
really what you say, it's howyou said. You know what I'm saying,
how it come off, And that'sbasically saying the same thing you know,
don't You can say people, youcould say, Dan there anything to
me, but it's how you sayit. You know. It could be
the tone. It could be thetone. Like you said, the tone

(01:16:46):
is everything far with men anyway,But women got a tone too. I'll
tell you what I say out haveheard it all out, have been doubted
the road. We got told too, Like wait a minute, what's your
just say to me? It's notwhat you say, it's how you said.
I'm not gonna talk at me.You can talk to me, You're

(01:17:10):
not gonna talk at me. Butyou know, how many women is out
here? Like Tianna Taylor? Uhon that media movie with Little Bi Wild,
Like, how many women is reallytalking like that today? Men?
I mean maybe, but I don'tknow. I just don't know women like
that. That was Tianna Taylor.Yes, that was Tianna Taylor. Don't

(01:17:32):
trying to figure out out look atthat figure it out today. You found
out I didn't know that. Idon't It is women out here, you
know, talking like that on bullshitlike that? That's wild. Yeah it
is. I'm saying something and Ijust imagine them with like these thin ass

(01:17:56):
flip flops and like yellow hair andthey patting, they ship like motherfucker cause
you can come home with all thatbullshit because you know what I'm saying,
like, oh, okay, Idon't know that. I know that's very
stereotypical, but I'm just saying that'swhat I picture. What'd you wanna do?
You wanna beat me up? SoNumber two tips is laugh at their

(01:18:19):
jokes. You know what, don'tdon't you do that? Like when you're
trying to do a business deal orsomething you really want to act like you
they'd be corny and say that's sofunny, you know, Yeah, so
patronize your partner in a way.I guess that's kind of what they're saying.

(01:18:42):
Yeah, but is that kind oflike being fake? Though? Like
you said last, it is thatwell black, you know. I mean,
I'm just saying, you know,he y'all, damn the FNNA have
me get a girlfriend in the man. I'm learning so much so fake because

(01:19:14):
like you know, you really ain'treally funny. It's not you think it's
It's not am I being fake?I'm just I'm just what's the word I'm
looking for? Or am I justyou know? Just Okay? So,
so the old the best way Ican answer to the short answer to answer

(01:19:34):
your question. First, it's ina way, yes, if you feel
like it's that ridiculous, Okay,if you was doing a business, then
you're ask gonna be fake, You'regonna sit up there. And last what
I'm saying, So my point iswe we put on the fake and we
cold switch for what we want towhen we find it, like all of
a sudden, we get this morerale when it comes to our spouse.

(01:19:57):
Right now, if it's really reallyridiculous and it's not funny, then don't
laugh. But sometimes motherfuckers just won'tlaugh because they just stiff in the neck
and they don't want to laugh.And that's ridiculously, Like, bitch,
you knew that was funny. Stopit. You know what I'm saying,
Like I've been in them situations.I'm just saying so like that's true,
that's that's true. I don't know. I'm kind of with black. If

(01:20:18):
it's not funny, I might giveyou a smile or something, but I'm
not myself laughing, so like,yeah, that ain't really you know,
I'd be the hurt feeling, okay, Black, I I don't know how
to not be that's gonna be afake. So that's what I'm saying.

(01:20:40):
Like, but I get it,you know, I've been learning. But
Tiff, look at it like thisway. You and I have been on
the phone, you might have beenat the store. You know, I
gotta say something that's just generic,you know, because people be looking at
the shit. You'll be at thestore and so like this something to you,
like, yeah, the shit theysay it was funny to you.
You'll be over there. Yeah,yeah, well we do. Yeah,

(01:21:04):
but you know what, there's adifference between laughing with them and laughing asking
too. Honey, I don't eventhink they'd be laughing shit. Maybe you
laughing at them with him. ButI'm just saying sometimes, you know,
stuff is like, Okay, thatwasn't a funny joke, but I'm low
key laughing at you because that wasYou're so corny, you know what kind
of thing. Yeah, but I'mjust laugh at your ass. You know.

(01:21:27):
I will give a polite smile,you know, if I know you're
trying to be funny but it's notreally pickling my fancy, I might give
you a little polite smile. Butyou know, those times, those jokes
be so dry they kind of goover your head too. You're like,
oh, was that I know whatyou're talking about? Yes, roy If

(01:21:48):
I know I'm on some bullshit andyou react accordingly to actually be attractive.
Okay, oh wait a minute,hold on at me. Okay, Royce,
Okay, yeah, it's it's okay, it really is. Okay.
I mean, I find myself andI was telling tif this. I know

(01:22:11):
it's not the same, but justas as an example, I was telling
her. You know, back inthe day, I'd be like, I
ain't calling nobody ask fluck. Thesemanagers at my job, who woo.
But as I've gotten older, Irealized that it doesn't take nothing from you
to be nice, even engage alittle bit and flatter people. Flattery goes
a long way. It will takenothing from you. You know what I'm

(01:22:31):
saying now, I'm not gonna sayif the person looked like a bugle wolf,
I'm not encouraging you to tell them, oh, you look so beautiful,
like cause now you're just lying.You know you well, you know,
beauty is in the eye of thebeholder. They're gonna try to cancel
me, honey, But you knowwhat I mean, You know what I
mean. I think there's a wayto be polite or not be rude and

(01:22:56):
still be truthful. Yes, yes, look, look, let's see.
I got a clap for tip becauseyou know, Tiff is always gonna come
through with the diplomatic, professional,rational point of view, and I'm gonna
sometimes do that and I'm gonna sometimesbe crazy. So yeah, huh so,

(01:23:20):
y'all very professional. Tiff is waymore professional than me. Honey.
Wait, she's yeah, she's verypoised, honey. She comes with her
she she know how to switch itup. I appreciate black though, I
really do. Yep, you go, I love me some black. Now.

(01:23:46):
Number three, compliment your partner.That's important. That's very important.
Very it goes a long way.You're looking beautiful, honey. So listen
if you're wondering why, uh youknow, my girl used to put out?

(01:24:09):
She putting out? So what isyour conversations like? It's most of
the time, y'all talking you're askingher to do something. Do you ever
call or see how our days gone? When? You know, because romance
and stuff, it's a throughout theday thing. You know, a lot
of times you want women to behot and ready, baby, I'm not
five dollars nine coming straight out ofLittle Caesars, you know what I'm saying.

(01:24:30):
So you had to treat it accordingly. How did y'all say about that
too? Like your areas? Don'tyou kick you off? Go ahead?
Go ahead? Is Sometimes we haveto be intentional about those things, because
if that's not something you find flatteringor that you feel like you need,

(01:24:55):
you're it's easy to not think aboutdoing that or providing that for your partner.
Well, I've got a rebuttal forthat coming up, but I'm not
there yet. I'm not there yet. So so number four, it's be
open to receive compliments. Sometimes peopleare uncomfortable with this. And I've been

(01:25:19):
told that that. I've been tolda person has expressed to me this has
happened in my lifetime, that theywere uncomfortable. They didn't know how to
take that because they weren't used toit. It was so yeah. Yeah,
And for that person who's uncomfortable receivingcompliments, they may be less likely

(01:25:40):
to offer compliments. Right, verytrue, very very very true, very
true. I know a person thatthat receives compliments but and and being tears
herself down. Yeah, you knowabout the compliment. You know, you

(01:26:01):
can't just take the compliment and thanks. You always got something it's something negative
about you. If I say,there, you look good, No I
don't. I'm fat or I'm youknow what I mean. I can't stand
that ship Like, why don't youjust take the compliment and be the fuck
own? Because if I stop,if I don't give you that, you

(01:26:24):
know what I'm saying, like,I know you, I know you got
a little bit of a stomach.No, nobody really care. But what
I'm saying is you don't have tothrow that out there every damn time somebody
tell gives you, you know,pays you a compliment. Oh some people
like that, but that just letsyou know that they're very self conscious like

(01:26:46):
that. Yeah, yeah, andblack. Sometimes it's helpful to point that
out to her. That's what I'msaying, right, I do that and
not like that though, just getthe goo. I don't say it like
that. Of course I have beforedone, because there should be pissing me

(01:27:09):
off, Like I'll just be like, but damn, you don't have to
do that. You know, whyare you telling yourself down? If I'm
trying to build you up, youryour self esteem or whatever the cakes may
be, or I could have justeven thought you looked good today. M
Yeah. Some people are so criticizingthemselves, even if it's in their heads.

(01:27:34):
Yeah, so when they say itout loud, they don't even realize
that every time you compliment them,they say something negative about themselves. It's
negative talk. Yeah, yeah,at all. And that's why the patience
comes into key, because I'm tellingyou, you know, in your relationship,

(01:27:57):
when done correctly, you won't realizethat you too begin to evolve together.
You will sharpen one another, youknow, And but you gotta be
patient. You have to be patientenough to see eat one another through that
transition. And a lot of timeswe're kicking out before we even get there.
And then you got some people theyget in their head knocked in between

(01:28:18):
the washer and dr dry every otherday, and they can't leave, you
know what I'm saying. So it'salways an extreme. So number five,
I think this is kind of onthe same lines. Encourage your partner.
Discouragement of dreams is a common thingin relationships. So typically this lady was

(01:28:41):
saying, in a relationship, thereis the dreamer and then there's the more
practical one in the relationship. Idealpartners see the best in one another.
Let your partner know they are capablechallenge your partner timely. If your partner's
not open to feedback, you maywant to examine your relationship. Let your

(01:29:08):
partner know you are coming as apartner, not as an enemy. So
I'm coming to you in love likeI'm not trying to challenge you. I'm
not trying to fuck with you.This is just you know, how I'm
feeling. I think this goes backto the point Brandon made earlier, instead
of the oh you want to dothis, but you know what about and

(01:29:32):
right to give them some something elseto think about, or you know,
that's very hopeful too, because peopleare more willing to receive, you know,
that additional information, maybe something theyhadn't considered. Right, Yeah,
I think that's important. Okay,And you know what, and I would
I would even add that this isthis is this or this component is probably

(01:29:58):
where a woman is capable of exhibitingthe greatest amount of power that she she
could ever have, because this,this sounds like this is more kind of
like something that would be easier forwomen to adopt and not to say that

(01:30:21):
men could you know, use someof these or this particular this particular tip.
But I see that you know,with you know, a woman leading
with her femininity and her insight,because women are are extremely insightful. This

(01:30:42):
is where their superpower kind of lies. That this would this is you know,
because you can either derail like youknow, not derail, but you
could change the tract trajectory of thedirection that your significant other is going and
most elevate him at the same time. And that and that that's something that

(01:31:04):
I think far too often is itused. You know, I think that
you know, resting in a woman'sfemininity, especially when it comes to something
like this, it is extremely powerful. I think that if used more often
to motivate men, you know,it could I mean, we could,

(01:31:27):
we could have a tremendous amount ofchange, very very rapidly. You know.
I just think about you know,when Michelle said that, you know,
she didn't even like Barrock for tenyears, so you know, but
you know she had to be therefor him to motivate that man to run
for president, you know what Imean, Like, that's that's crazy,

(01:31:50):
and I'm going to just assume thatto blacks point she had it was it
was a lot of fake moments there, and to Tiffany's point, a lot
of fake laughter. And but lookwhat she was able to help him accomplish.
You know that's real. That's real, that's real anybody else before I

(01:32:18):
moved forward because we I'm I'm hurryingup and wrapping it up because so we
can get out of here. Tiffany, this is where I was saying I
was gonna get to number seven.It's loved them and their love language.
A lot of times we want tolove people from our lands instead of loving

(01:32:38):
them how they want to be loved. So loved them and their love language
very important. Brandy, You guyssomething to say. That's another one of
the those things that I think isdangers because everything changes. Like the love

(01:33:01):
language thing is. It's interesting tome. It's funny to me, but
you know, because I'm like,uh, here's another thing to evaluate your
ineptness and your relationship. Uh god, but you know, just another label
like you know what, you don'tknow how to you don't know my love

(01:33:25):
language, Like damn, I'm justlearning you Like damn, okay, now
you got a different language. Ithought you were speaking English. But no,
I think that that is that couldthat has the potential to be dangerous
because now instead of you being kindof like existing with your significant other in

(01:33:48):
your partner and growing together, nowyou become this kind of like steward of
their happiness, and that's dangerous tobe saddled with that responsibility. That's that's
scary, man, you know,And that's a lot of power to concede

(01:34:09):
to somebody else who don't even knowyou that well, you know what I
mean. I mean, I've beenwith my wife ever since she and I
was seventeen and eighteen years old,but it was eighteen years of her coming
to who she met me at.So for me to for her to believe

(01:34:30):
that I'm I'm able to speak herlove language, you know what I mean,
Like, it's just it's just settingme up, you know. I
think it's just a I think it'sa what do they call that? A
trap? Man? I just thinkit's it has the potential to say,
Okay, well, the reason whyshe did is because you wasn't speaking my

(01:34:51):
love love language for the last sixyears, and I've just really discovered that
now this person speaks my love language. I mean, I'm not just saying
the love language, but it justit just unfurls a lot of potential problems.
Okay, so I've seen you whereyou're coming from with that, But
okay, let me. I thinkit's also perspective, okay, because you

(01:35:14):
know, I mean words of affirmation, physical touch, the gifts, and
I don't know what the other qualitytime and there's one other one. Okay.
So like with Byron, right,I know he loves electronics, So
I know, if I wanna seea smile on his face, I probably
gonna need a band. I'm gonnahave to get about a stack together and

(01:35:35):
go buy him an electronic that don'tmake him happy. I know that Byron
likes physical touch. If I'm rubbingon him, rubbing his feet, whatever,
he likes that, so I don'thave a problem doing that. You
know, it doesn't have to becomplicated. It's just you know, finding
one or two things. I don'tknow if you need. I don't know

(01:35:55):
if they have more than two.Maybe they have five. Maybe you can't
meet off five. I don't know. I don't think anybody has all five,
but maybe they do. I don'tthink all five would hurt him,
you know, But just find twostrong ones to work with that I think,
yeah, I know, knowing thepreferences. If I know that you're
into gift giving on your birthday,I'm not just gonna give you a song,

(01:36:21):
right like I might actually get youthe kids, because I know that's
something you know, you feel likeI'm thinking about you like I know you
example with you know, buying,right, you know what he likes.
I'm not going to buy him somethingthat I want him to have. I'm
gonna buy him something that he wants, just like he know I like food.

(01:36:42):
Don't buy me no flowers, getme a meal. And he gonna
do that every time. You're gonnaI think it's just another way of being
mindful. Yes, yes, Imean he got me. So he got
me an edible arrangement one time becauseI was, you know, managing everybody
with the I think everybody had coveredup in here but me, and I

(01:37:03):
was managing them all. He wentleft work, came home on his lunch
break, dropped me an edible arrangement. So it was like an edible flower.
You know what I'm saying, I'mnot I gotta take care of the
flower. But it's like it's twoon one. I thought that was wonderful.
That was so thoughtful. You knowwhat I'm saying. It don't have
to be that big of a deal. It really don't. But I get
what you're saying, Brandon, andI think it also depends on the type

(01:37:26):
of person you with, because everythingshouldn't be a slippery slope. Some people
just be crazy. It's hey,though, I'm just saying, we gotta
evaluate these partners. And I'm notknocking my sister in law. That wasn't
directed with no shots fired to her. So here's number eight. Now,
this one, all right, thisone, I'm gonna make a clip out

(01:37:46):
of sharing your secrets and insecurities.This is dangerous. Keeping things from your
partner keeps a wall in your intimacy. Now that's a debate about what your
Brandon. That's a debate one.I mean, because you start telling too
much that ship on both ends meand and women can come back to boomerang

(01:38:11):
and hits you upside your head.Idealistically, it sounds good. Yeah,
I've been through that where and I'mstill like that today. I don't tell
a lot because because it has alwaysand in the past anyway, it has

(01:38:33):
been using against me. It's beenyou know what I'm saying, It's been
brought up. Something that I toldyou or whatever. Should have never came
back up. You know what I'msaying. It should be in the box,
locked up, thrown away in themiddle of an argument, whatever,
whatever I'd have told you. Youdidn't turn around and use that again.

(01:38:54):
You know what I'm saying against me, brought it back up, through it
in my face, whatever it maybe. You know what I'm saying,
I've done it. I hate it. So now I'm I locked down.
I'm not I got that wall up. I'm not going to tell you everything.
I'm not going to give you everything. Nothing that's gonna when I'm vulnerable
that you can use to hurt me, attack me or whatever with it.

(01:39:15):
Nothing, no, nothing, Andit's it's sad though you shouldn't shouldn't be
like that, but it'd be likethat. And it's it goes both ways,
like you said, right, okaywith me and then with me.
You know, I don't do it, but it's been done me. I
mean, because I don't know ify'all saw that video, but this girl

(01:39:38):
and this guy got into a couple, got into it, and first thing
he wanted to throw in her face, was her molestation with her uncle or
her dad or something like that,Like, you don't do no shit like
that. Yeah, and women shouldn'tdo that a man. That's why your
uncle had his dig in your booty, Like, you know, you don't
do stuff like that. You knowwhat I'm saying. I like, it
is foul. And then if youend up would if you end up with

(01:40:01):
some holes and you're behind and gomeet your maker, you know, they
gotta watch how you talk on theseend reps. Then you gonna be up
there trying to figure out how tohelp you transition because you're talking crazy.
Don't do that. That's a sorespot with people. So that's my thing.
I think. I think if Ihad to critique this one, you
certain things bargaining. There's a certainbargaining ships. So tell something that is

(01:40:23):
deep enough to where they feel likethey're connecting with you, But don't tell
something that's can potentially be brought upand hurt you in the future, you
know. Yeah, Yeah, Ijust don't think that is wise. I
think that, Yeah, I justthink that, you know, there's a
fine line between deception and you know, omission of unnecessary information. And I

(01:40:50):
don't think that every you know,if you're a significant other, there's certain
things that they just simply don't needto know, you know. But but
I realize that that leaves room forme saying that you know, our green
light lies, and to an extentI have to say I do, because

(01:41:15):
you know, we you know certainthings, you know, we just should
hold close to the best and notfor the reason that that some I believe
that somebody is going to use thatagainst you. It just may take you
know, a you may say somethingright, I'll give I'll give you an

(01:41:36):
example. You may believe that somethingwas done to you and you've never quite
effectively unpacked it. But when youhave, like you grown and get a
little bit older and you have moreexperiences, you realize, oh damn,

(01:41:58):
you know it was. It wasthe way that I was looking at the
situation that made me feel as thoughthat this was occurrent. And but if
you say, for instance, passthat information onto a significant others who doesn't
know this individual that this may occurwith, and that that could create you
know, issues, You get whatI'm saying, And that's just, you

(01:42:23):
know, that's just something that's completelyfar out out, you know, left
field. But you know, especiallyif things that is going to impact the
relationship or if it's not going toimpact the relationship, I would say just
looking there like that, if it'snot going to impact the relationship, man,
that long, No some shit youshould die with. Yeah, Yeah,

(01:42:45):
it's helpful because at the end ofthe day, if you're being honest
in your relationship, meaning like you'rebeing you guys have agreed to be in
a monogamous monogamous relationship. If you'renot being disrespectful in that regard, then
you don't have to drum up buta progress note as Tiffany have to do.
You don't have to be giving themprogress notes about shit like it's it's

(01:43:06):
cool, you know what I'm saying. I don't know it just if it's
not helping, it can potentially hurt, So why are we doing it?
But I get it, I getit. I mean something like this might
be like you know, a babe, one thing that I really don't like
and I'm I'm being truthful when Isay this is like I hate these fat

(01:43:29):
ass arms that both sides of myfamily gave me that I have to fight
for my life to keep away likeI hate these fat ass arms, you
know what I'm saying. And Ihate that I don't have as much as
lass ticity as I could in myskin because I have three kids and I
got this king rupas and we gottatook our stomach and a motherfucking draws,
you know what I'm saying, Likestuff like that, I think that's transparent

(01:43:49):
hairing enough, you know what Imean? Like how how more transparent you
wanna get? Dug, I don'tknow, but to be honest, by
Ring and I have been very veryvery read truthful and transparent with one another.
We would ask me a question,I would tell him, even if
it would leave him to sweeping andthe wind, I would tell him.
And and and Brandon has been awitness to some of the ship in Texas,

(01:44:12):
so he knows I'm telling the truth. And and uh so that's that.
I'm gonna ahead, and you're gonnaask someone. Don't ask no question
you don't want to answer to.That's my thing. And you know what,
And that's part and parcel why Ibelieve certain certain things. You should
just go to the grave with thosethere. So thank you for that.

(01:44:34):
Yeah, Yeah, And that's it. And that's all. But I also
want to say that I did tellmy spouse I will never. He ain't
never got to worry about And Ithink this is very important for us to
express to our spouse. You know, at some point in your life,
your spouse has been hurt by who, whoever, family member, relationship,
whatever, and it's I think it'simportant to let them know that you will

(01:44:56):
never. They don't ever have toworry about going through that type of pain
with you. You're not here tobring them pain. So I made sure
I told him that. He wasvery appreciative of that. And I think
that's okay. Number nine, wealmost done. Y'all acknowledge and ex explore
frustrations as they come up, sobasically, don't let shit faster, go

(01:45:18):
ahead and address it. That cool. Yeah, that's kind of that's yeah,
yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, I just agree across
the board on that. I meanabsolutely, yeah, okay, because what

(01:45:39):
the fuck you letting shit build up? Some people like no, it's okay
because they want to be able tounload the click. Yeah, it's too
much at that point, because I'mbattling too many points. You're trying to
get across the sound effects with thatshit like it's a TikTok video. Oo

(01:46:00):
damn. Every time they come upwith some shit it's crazy. Uh.
And number ten, Last, butnot least, external problems are separate from
your partner and relationship. So yougotta keep these external problems and not bring
them home, okay, like forexample or no. And it can even

(01:46:24):
be something they doing. For example, you find out your spouse smokes or
something you didn't know they smoked,and that bothers you, and then it
begins to turn you off, andit begins to affect your relationship. And
it doesn't have to realize what youlove about that person and just be like,
you know what, babe, youknow I love you. You were

(01:46:46):
so amazing. I don't know.Give them five things that you just you
love a bottom and drive you crazy. It makes my tones just swinging a
wind. But when you smoke,that kind of makes me feel uncomfortable because
I think about how we might notgo the distance. I might lose you
to some potential lung cancer or somethinglike you know I'm something like that.

(01:47:11):
Just just express it in the bestway that you can. Don't be like,
oh why are you why are yousmoking? Them nasty ass Newport one
hundred. You know you ain't gonnago You ain't gonna do all that.
So yeah, anybody, I don'tknow if it's gonna be said like that,

(01:47:35):
but it's like that was just likewhat I said. You gotta address
something you know at that time insteadof waiting on whatever yous, I do
want to comment on something you said. I reck here about explaining to your

(01:47:58):
spouse that you will never hurt themlike they've been hurt before. Something that
I have said to people before,and I even say this to my clients,
is that at some point I willdisappoint you m And I think that's
important because we have expectations, right, We have expectations as people, and

(01:48:24):
when they don't meet our expectations,that can be hurtful, right, And
so I think it is important inrelationships. We will not meet someone we're
gonna fall short in some way,So I think it's important to address that
as well. I'm gonna have togive you the willow swift. Wow.

(01:48:47):
You know how every time someone saidon Red Table Talk, she's like,
Wow, yeah, yeah, Iagree that that's that's good. That's good.
Red Table Talk fucked up a lotof ship and he was about to
get they clocks clean fucking around withRed Table Talk. They had some good
episodes, though, they did.They had some good episodes. Yeah,

(01:49:08):
but they yeah that that the partwas at number nine or eight where you
just not share certain things. Yeah, yeah, Jada should have just you
know, just let it be.She should have. But before we get
off, I do want to respondto that, because we we we gotta
go. I agree, Brandon,But also I think that people underestimate I

(01:49:30):
don't think Will Smith was broadsided bythat. I'm pretty sure they talked about
that before they sat down. Ijust yeah, yeah, but you know,
who has the power and that dynamicthat relationship, and it's just not
a good look for for for aman, you know. But I don't
feel sorry for him, but stillit's just not a good look, you

(01:49:51):
know. I mean, it's certainthings that the world just didn't need to
know. We didn't need to knowthat. You know, all kids house
seen it was flapping cheeks, youknow what I mean, Like that's that's
that's disrespectful as a man, youknow. I mean, you just I
and I will hope that my significantothers will respect me enough even if it

(01:50:13):
was something that we mutually agreed onin terms of, you know, she
could do it, that it wouldn'tbe broadcast because not everybody is our relationship
or even understands it. So justrespect me enough as a man not to
put me in that situation for someclicks and some fumes, for sure.
And it was also a video outwhere she was asking Will something and she's

(01:50:36):
got the video on his face andhe's like, hey, I don't you
know, I don't get on here. This is how I make my money.
And you know, she got upset, like I have to deal with
this foolishness like she was. Hewasn't trying to go for it, and
she was being very dismissive. Sothey definitely have some strange stuff going on
over there the Smith, you know. But the Smith's got a lot of
strange stuff going on. I mean, this woman had was she had like

(01:50:59):
five rock Wallers at one time.Who the hell got five? Who's feeding
them? You know? So it'sdefinitely it's interesting dynamic and push it over
there five rod Wallers. Who thefuck is feeding five rod Wallers? That's
that's wild. But yeah, Iappreciate this. I think this was a
very good conversations today. Thank youfor all that it's watching that we'll watch

(01:51:23):
on the replay. Please click thelight button because last time my check lights
are free unless they changed over night, hoody, I didn't know because I
didn't get a bill for one.So I just feel like at this point,
if you don't like my shit,you just don't like me. And
if you don't like me, Idon't know why you're watching. So please
kindly like it in share. Ilove you guys so much, and so

(01:51:44):
Tiff and I are going to takea pause with the show. We're gonna
sit down, we're gonna come upwith ten episodes and then we'll be back.
So we're not done, but Ihave a vision for this show and
we're gonna execute it and you willsee our lovely faces very soon. Thank
you so much for tuning in.See y'all late time. Take your hey

(01:52:08):
you, let's keep intens. Headon over to rocky rolltv dot com slash
network and when you arrived to thepage following down to the prompt to lead
you to subscribe to my newsletter intoyour email first name, last name here,
subscribe this first one. It leadsyou to the rocky roll Tv and
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(01:52:30):
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next time, Tootles

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