Should a woman ask for her man's approval of her clothing?

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Hey, y'all, we are inthere and it looks good and I could
see everybody. I could see tenthand GP today. This is wonderful.
I'm excited, alrighty. Thank youeverybody for tuning into the Black Love Group
Chat. Thank you for those whoare going to watch the replay. Make
sure you like this stream, subscribe, share. We're gonna get into this

(00:28):
whole thing with Kiki. Do youlove me? Are you writing? You
know? She's been blowing up theinternet. Her ass been blowing up the
internet. People's commentary been blowing upthe internet. Is absolutely crazy, and
we're gonna get into it right afterthe intro. Here we go and we're

(00:53):
back. So first we're gonna talkabout what was going on with you GP
and last night for your birthday.Have your birthday, by the way,
GP, thank you, thank you, have you lady birthday, big boy,
good looking bro. Appreciate it forsure. Uh. We was at
duo last night and I don't knowshit, just was long, long night

(01:18):
duo. Okay, Okay, yeah, I've heard they got a dope ass
a lunch a special. I haven'tbeen the duo in forever. Sh I
wish I hadn't been there forever mypockets wish I hadn't been there forever.
So let me guess you was drinkinglike a food man. What. I
wouldn't say that, but I'm justwas. I had some drinks, Okay,

(01:42):
like a few of'em. Okay, they got to the plate.
I just threw up in tone Carllast night, all type of oh so's
tones to up. Yeah, that'swhy he ain't on here. Yeah he's
definitely got it, Okay, Shenanigansand they talked about I'm trying to drive

(02:04):
home last night, blacking them cussingme out, Doug that dry. I
just drove home a minute. Thatship was the longer I would have made
it last night. I told youit was a d u y wait easy,
Well, good thing you have friends? Yeah, because tip show wasn't
Henna beat the Voice of Reason?Well, you know, I don't think

(02:30):
Tiff knew about it, because Iknow I didn't. You know what Tiff
and rock Hill after y'all phones afterthe show, you know what dumb stuff?
So, y'all, what do y'allthink about ki Ki at the Usher

(02:51):
concert with the look like swimsuit witha cover up over it, calling it
a dress. That's the new stylethese days. First of all, I
just want to give a shout outto kick you baby, who helped her
get that body the way it isright now, Ronald laplaure. I liked
the new body on Kicky. Ithink he was beautiful. She did.

(03:14):
She She looks absolutely beautiful. Herskin has cleared up, which she was
beautiful before her skin. You knowwhat, she was beautiful. Y'all be
ready to high five each other lookat it. No no, no,
no no, I'm just saying shewas beautiful. Yeah, she was beautiful
then, she's beautiful now. ButI gotta say, looking at it from

(03:38):
our standpoint, like the people thatare not in Holly Weird, Yeah that
was a little out of pocket,But in Holly Weird, it's different.
It's levels because they're in a differentworld, you know. But I can't
dismiss what dude, how dude felt. So let's go on in about how
y'all feel about it. Because Ialready did a video. I can go
on about on about it, Buthow do y'all feel about it? Dog

(04:01):
was raw? He was what youmad? That's ussher nigga. That nigga
can dance and sing and he's beenwoo wooing the ladies for you, nigga.
Okay, she on stage. Ifit wasn't his woman, he wouldn't
have been mad about it. Hejust mack, that's his woman. He
thought us she was about to Itwasn't like it was Tray song. Maybe
missus still your girl. You know. I just think dog just overreacted a

(04:25):
little bit. I mean, youcould have said something to your girl bride,
and he ain't have to be nobigg ass production for the world to
know about this. If you feltsome type of way about that, she
was on stage with it for theworld to see. That was the production
right there. What you mean hehad to say something? Yeah? Yeah,
But I mean, what did shereally do wrong? Though? I'm

(04:45):
sitting going out, Look, yougot a baby, and you got somebody
at home that you just got throughsaying you just got to putting videos up
saying, oh my goodness, Idon't see how y'all women do it alone
because I got a man at homeand I just thank God for my man,
just got through seeing all of that. But now you on stage,
your cheeks out with the prince pantson here. You know what that nigga

(05:10):
was this at home and he's sorrywalked out the house like that. He
weak for that. Yeah, wecan do that now. But I also
see rack kelsy because he took aHe took a big ale for the light
skilled guns. Light skin dudes arealways taking the al. And you know
you said something about trade sauce.I heard tray sauce snatching cats, let

(05:33):
alone women. I hears allegedly,but anyway, I don't know. I
mean, he could have said somethingat home, but he probably felt like
I'm being embarrassed publicly, So I'macknowledging publicly. But so do y'all think
it was the dress what she hadon, or y'all think he was who

(05:55):
do you? Who? Do youthink is really about? Was a deflection
projections thing he posted anyway? Man, he posted a picture like look at
my shot. And then once shegot up there and usher was all in
there, he felt like he couldlose his position from me. Whatever you
understand, whatever, you know whatfor me, no man wants to see
this woman behave like that to no, no, no man. It doesn't

(06:19):
matter if he's a celebrity, itdoesn't matter. You don't want your your
woman acting like a fan to noman other than you, that is.
I understand it's holly weird, butyou know, it's a way you behave.
And I think that that's essentially whathe was trying to convey, that

(06:41):
you can't behave like that, andone of the main reasons is because you're
a mother. Obviously you didn't saybecause you're my wife, but your your
mother, and at the very leastbecause of that is a reason you should
temper your behavior and acquiless of afan. Okay, I'm gonna say I'm
sorry, going to I want tocomment on what you just said. So

(07:08):
you're saying that it was actually hesaid because you're a mother, but it
was actually because you're my woman.But he couldn't say that. Now,
I think that's where the problem is, right because you're saying I have to
dress a certain way because I'm amom. Says who that's who I feel

(07:28):
like you are. It's almost likemute your point right by by making it
about me being a mom. Ithink, yeah, I'm just saying that
probably could be the case. Imean, obviously I'm not light skinned,
I'm dark skinning. I would havesaid with my chest. You know what,

(07:50):
I mean, I would have snatchedyou off the state. You wouldn't
have walked out the house with that, did you? Either you you had
to pick one or the two,either the lace front or the outfit,
one of them coming off. Ohmy god. So you know, but
I'm just saying, I don't know, I don't know how lights can't do

(08:11):
is thinks I'm hey, hey,don't put that on me. I don't
say, I'm just saying, I'mthrowing the mic to you. Look,
I'm gonna just say this based offthe I'm gonna jump off tip when she
said the whole mom thing, youknow what, wife, mother, woman,
all through the example to the young, to the young women. So

(08:33):
if yes, as a mom,even more so than anything, you should
be you should be covering up toshow examples to the other women who need
that example, and also the younggirls, because that's be honest, they're
gonna be watching her more than anybody. I look up and who don't what
woman don't want to be on stagewith usher right now? And you think
that's the way to do it.There's a way to be with a celebrity.

(08:54):
I just don't think that Kiki showsthe proper way to god, I'm
let me say this. I thinkhis feelings are valid. It's okay for
your man to feel like that.I don't think anything's wrong. I also
think she was beautiful and you know, hey, thing wrong with it,

(09:16):
though, But I can get thatin their relationship. I feel like everybody
can choose how they do things intheir own relationships, right because one man
might not have a problem with aGP said, it's cool, you cool
with that? GP? Well,what well? I was on the phone.

(09:39):
I know how to dance. Ididn't under saying I ain't been whooping
one from the ladies for some years. But I'm saying, lady, come
over here and to keep keep getup and come if us. You're pulling
my lady on stage, and hesay, lading and dancing all of her
and she's doing all that stuff.I don't give a fucking in the night.
She's going home with me, soI don't care. That's probably the

(10:03):
best experience she ever don't have.Let me say this, and he palmer
already a little ratchet. Anyway,what I'm saying that that was my lady.
That's probably you know what I'm saying, The experience she's never gonna forget,
but this shit been going on.Hey, black member on the five

(10:26):
Heartbeats with j Old Boy was singingto that girl. Yeah, and my
man left her and right there,I think y'all, I think y'all capping
for the camera. Let's listen towhat this young lady gotta say. And
okay, let's listen to this videoand then we're gonna come back. All
right, let's get this perspective.It's it's a little over two minutes,

(10:48):
but she keep it flowing. It'sgood. So hold on, Ki,
do you love me? Are you'rewriting so you'll never ever leave? I'm
beside me, never won't you?And Anita and look at her? I
should looking at that ass. Youknow why this disappoints me because women are
clapping this on, you know,you single ones who don't have a man.

(11:09):
It's like y'all know nothing about relationships. And don't get me started when
the women who are in relationships cheeringthis kind of crap on, because you
know, damn well, if yourman was on stage getting serenaded by some
sex symbol who allegedly has contracted herpies and gave it to other people,
you would be upset, and theny'all gonna turn around and get mad at

(11:33):
this supportive ass man that she hasand claims that he shouldn't have any say
with the way that she dresses becausehe doesn't take care of her financially.
You do realize that there are otherways to protect a woman outside of giving
the money. When a man saysdressed like a wife and a mother,
he is trying to protect you fromhaving low energy experiences from men that you're

(11:56):
not supposed to be getting attention from. To begin with, I can't,
I can drift twa, I canwoo row Grandpa. Don't shut your fruit
head ass up. You sound singleWhen you're in a relationship with somebody,
you compromise. This is real life. This is this man's manhood on the
line. Don't know man want hiswife or the mother of his child having

(12:20):
this kind of attention for men.Listen, when you grow up and you
mature, you do different things.What grandma looked like twerking? You feel
what I'm talking about. What ifyour grandma was walking around talking and acting
like Suki Hannah, then what you'regonna do? Grandma's supposed to be knitting,
baking, cookies or in a rockingchair or something. But you see
her at the Beet Awards or theEssex Festival twerking on somebody. Mukoochie peek

(12:43):
mu booty. Oh broh. Weshould be able to dress how we want
and do what we want. Ohis that right? Within be single and
don't have a man, Because whenyou're in a relationship with somebody and you
set boundaries with them and those boundariesare crossed, you have every single right
to be upset about that. Soif he don't want his girlfriend and baby
mama dressed like a Thardiana, hehas every right to not want that.

(13:09):
There are some men out there thatfeel comfortable with it. They have every
right to feel comfortable with it.But this specific man does not, and
usually men do not. It's likeyou ladies have never talked to a man
before. Men will tell you theydo not like for their wives and their
girlfriends and the mothers of their childrenthat they're still involved with and love to

(13:31):
dress like that and act like that. That is single woman's behavior. I
am sorry. I know y'all wantme to say what a girl's girl would
say, but no, I disagree. All right, what y'all think that
ain't single woman's behavior. Man,that's not behavior period. Man, you

(13:52):
dress them with jass out on that, right. But I don't agree you
talking about the how was that manmanhood on the line because this girl was
dancing. He shouldn't it what you'retalking about? Brother? She sat there,
all right? So pee game,peep game, like you see,
let's bring it back to your situation. You're okay with the key Keith thinking

(14:13):
that was your woman and that wasUsher right right? All right, so
you're okay with that now? Andnow does it have to be Usher or
you just okay with that period?I'm a US fan, so fuck.
I don't know, but so you'regonna be up there too, it's the
right. We might we might havea we might have a little sad was

(14:33):
going on up there. Hey Hey, I'm not life scanning. Let's put
that up there. Who's really anyways? Man? I don't know, bro,
I don't know. I just saythis, Bro, there's a lot
of people out here that can sing, dance and got money and it ain't
necessarily famous. I'm just saying ifthey just so decided to be like they're
putting out a track and your womanwas feeling it and she was like,

(14:54):
Yo, I'm going up there withhomie. That's getting me all this attention.
Yeah, I don't know. Idon't think you would like that.
Yeah, I mean even to thatpoint, you do, where do you
draw the line? Right today it'sus, sure, tomorrow is love Marco
on blocking up in the game justneeds some support, you know. I

(15:18):
mean, but see, if youset the boundaries early on, you know,
hey, we're not gonna do thatat all. You wouldn't have to,
you know, have to police thoselittle micro aggressions because you know how
it is, there's there hasn't beena woman ever who hasn't tooken, you
know, an itch and gone amouth. So you have to you have
to ring those those type of behaviorsin early on. And I think that

(15:41):
far too often, especially when itcomes to black women. They're over sexual
lives and there's no real reason that. I mean, the article, for
instance, the article I think thatwas NBC or something like that that talked
about black women's struggle with motherhood andmaintaining the level of uh what like uh

(16:03):
did anybody read that article? Itwas it was about to KICKI Palmer situation,
and it talked about how black womenin their sexuality seems to be some
sort of challenge be you know,when they become mothers. And it was
just a way that it was worded, and you look down in the comments
said again, who wrote this article, Oh, I don't know, probably

(16:25):
a WP. But the point wasn'tnecessarily the article and the information in it,
It was the comments. The kindof narrative that's painted that Black women
are these sex kittens or these overlysexual you know, objects that really doesn't
have a high level of regard orrespect in the eyes of general public.

(16:47):
And what needs to be done isthe narrative has to be changed and shift
when it comes to our women andhow they choose to allow their you know,
their their their image to be portrayedout up there. That doesn't help.
She's a mother. There's expectations forevery other nation, every other group,
or how their women should look asmothers. Why does ours have to

(17:11):
include something solacious? And and that'snot fair to the children that's coming up
And just like you, Dell pointeda moment a moment ago to the children
and the girls that's coming up behindthem, and to the little boys,
you know is we have to kindof rise and increase our level of engagement
one another with one another. Itshouldn't always be something just brought down to

(17:34):
the point of something sexual. Itshould be some respect it shown there,
you know, even to you knowuser's point. You know, he didn't
you know, advance on her.He didn't you know close that that that
space she did, and you knowhe's just trying to perform and do his
thing and he serenades all women.So I can't even thought him for that.

(17:55):
But you know, for a manto say, hey, listen,
I don't agree with how you behaveand that's well within his right for somebody
he just put a child in Imean. But yeah, but that goes
back to the whole thing of itgoes by different relations by your relationship now
like the one that like lady didsay though I've heard men saying something to
her about the way she was dressed. Now that's where I not see.

(18:17):
That's where I have a problem withwhat you got on, because why are
you going out in the world dressedlike that? Like dance no mistage us
and all that. I'm cool withall that type of shit, but that
going out there with your ass alreadyhanging out? Who what what kind of
tension are you really trying to goget to? Like though, you know
what I'm saying, you all somebullshit when you walk out the house.
But like dogs just said, heposted a picture of her, like,

(18:38):
look at my shorty go on herway out of so nigga, you didn't
tell her to change her clothes beforeshe left? You gotta take everything to
go along with that. I mean, I don't. I don't think he
I don't even think he saw thatshe wore that. She had been out
of town for a couple of acouple of days. Probor too, he
posted that Joe though he posted apicture of her getting that outfit. Yeah,

(18:59):
he posts of the pictures. Okay, Well, I mean then that's
that's on him for her not knowingor understanding from him the expectations while she's
out wearing that. But you know, so I can't really speak on that
at all, But you know,I mean, who, who who should
desire to want to even go outwearing something like that? And that's that's
the issue. She want to goout and show the jams like that?

(19:22):
That was definitely us a single womanoutfit for sure, for sure. I
mean, but I mean that's themessage that's that's conveyed to me, you
know, like that's what she's advertising. But that's but that gott to go
a little bit further to think about. Let's think about something. This is
something that women wearing general clothes weretalking about, the clothes that are sold

(19:42):
on a on a very common basis. Right now, I believe I'll just
say this that that brings the conversationup, like I brought up last week,
what's the overall standing, what overallstanding on we even going off for
us to say, Okay, thisis wrong and this is right because we
got one person on here that butyou know what, I'm cool with my
woman jumping out chain and doing thething on things with us and whatnot,

(20:06):
right, but he's also not coolwith the clothes, all right. I
mean I can see that, ButI mean, what's our overall standard that
we're judging this off of. Andthat's why I can't That's what I don't
see. Not me. I standon the Bible, y'all know me.
I stand on the most side,But I don't I don't see what overall
standard we can really judge this fromright because overall, if you think about
me, it's just waking him fromdinners. But see in my situation,

(20:29):
you would already my woman would alreadyknow in the store like I can't buy
this, gonna have it, he'sgonna go crazy. I buy this right
here, that ain't even coming inour house for what or unless you're buying
it for me to where you wentand around the house for me. Whether
than that, though, my standardsare always gonna always be what it's gonna
be. I stand on when Istand up, so I would no not
even buying no ship like that aboutgoing out in it. But are we

(20:52):
standing on minute, We're just standingon the fact that hey, don't be
out there showing your yams because becauselike because they could walk out not showing
the ms and the cat suit.Technically technically it's just curve, right,
We like, what's the standard?Are were pushing for modesty? All were
saying? Are we saying Keiki's wrongfor what she wore, wrong for what

(21:12):
she did? Because I mean,if you got some women that's that's naturally
curvy, it ain't no where they'regonna ba can hide. They body don't
matter what the fuck they put off? You know what I'm saying, But
you ain't gotta you ain't gotta intensifyby advertising the skin in itself, you
know what I'm saying. Like yougot a girl get put on the cat
suit and everything still busting out.It just is what it is. But

(21:33):
you hats off to you. Butthat's what I'm saying, the cat suit.
That is the standard that we haveto figure out. Because we're looking
at Keiki all right, because Ii'mnna play both sides right quick. We're
looking at Keiki like she wrong?Right? But what is she wrong for?
Really? Is she wrong for goingup there with us? Is she
wrong for? Way? Okay?Because I don't think she's wrong for being

(21:55):
up there with Usher personally, Idon't end being up there with us.
I think she did, but helpbeing in the entertainment industry as well as
us, it only makes sense ifthey both on stage. That's that's money,
that's that's clicks, that's publicity.I understand that. But when it
comes down to what she wore andthe standard amongst the black community and black
love, what is it that we'rereally pushing for what she want for wearing
that for wearing that. Okay,I agree, I personally agree because I

(22:18):
believe pushing for modesty is something that'simportant. But now, but now,
what's the level of modesty that we'rewilling to accept because we're not asking women
to walk around in trash bags andcall board boxes, right, we want
something that's attractive. But at thesame time, we ask do we want
all with women specifically, since thisis something about, you know, the
conversations about a relationship, do wewant all with women to walk around and

(22:41):
things that advertise the things that theyoffer to us to other people? Do
you want it easy to find yourtreasure or do you feel like your treasure
should be something only you know whereit's hitting that you know what I'm saying.
Definitely, I mean I won't needto know that I have a treasure.
But like you said, X marksthe spot for me. I got
the role map to the motherfucking treasure. Nobody else right, right, But

(23:02):
then that the wardrobe. But andit's on the women, right. The
women have to first, the womenand men have to come to an agree
and so what modesty is. Andthen the women have to come into an
agree and amongst themselves what modesty isright, because let's a man could say
women don't walk outside in those pansor those or those type jeans or those
or whatever, those types. Wecould say that. But then one thing,

(23:25):
I've one thing I've realized by beingon this earth, women compete with
each other in public more than theydo for the attention of men. And
it's strange, exactly true, that'strue. So so so what level of
modesty do we agree upon to saythat kid keep homer is wrong? But
see that's my thing too, likegoing back to rock he said earlier,

(23:45):
aboudy doing holly weird, Like whenyou watch these awards shows and all this,
like that these women are starting todress less and less and trying to
show more even what they man onthe red crept with them. I'm not
cool with you dress like that.If you with if I'm with you still,
why do we gotta show the worldwith the fuck I got at home?
You know what I'm saying. Itain't just you going out with your
girls dressed like that. You ain'tgonna dress like that with me, you

(24:08):
know what I'm saying. Now,I feel that, yeah, because a
lot of women feel like because they'rewith the man they protected. But then
you got to think about it ifyou go out there in them close and
then you haven't. Let's say yougot a man who's inebriated and feel like,
man, look, I could takeyour dude. I ain't worrying about
him like I want you, andhe will have a bullet those over what
you got in order to snatch you. You know what I mean? Like

(24:30):
that's that's that's a situation that canbe all diffused with how we all decide
modesty. It's chosen, and Imean I think we all know what the
overall standard is in general, butamongst the world, I think people are
gonna have to decide what that is. Yeah, I mean, like you
say you got something like the whereto just don't feel like I literally singing

(24:53):
my own. Two other situations wherea nigga sent a lady a drink at
the bar and her nig she whather nigga at the bar, Nigga send
to drink over, her dog lookedback shut to drink back across the bar
to the bartender. Then nigga sendsanother drink over to the drink and I'm

(25:17):
looking at dog like what the fuckis you're doing right, you're bugging right
now. Now. The question ishow many drinks is us to allow to
sing? Keith, keep before stop, no, listen, you can you
can sing. Singing and dancing isyour thing. Buying my lady stuff,
that's that's my that's my that's myjob. She don't need your drink.

(25:37):
We got the bar for We can'tdo the bar for a reason. We
got our own drink money, nigga. We don't need your ladies. Feelings
and feelings, bro, whether youbuying drinks or seven eight and you feel
me feelings and feelings, brother,that's not me cross regardless. But anyway,
So if she didn't have on thatoutfit and he still some to her,
I mean, was that gonna becool? Yeah, that's cool,

(26:00):
that's cool. But because I understand, just like Brandon said, she closed
that space in to him, that'swhat she messed up at. She wasn't
supposed to do all that being onstage and being KEI keep home. That's
something that she could have done withoutbeing all up under us because she's keep
home. True, that's all I'msaying anything about us. Yeah, man,

(26:25):
what he wasn't supposed to look tothe game exactly, I mean,
and then she didn't have a lotcovering up that stuff, you know.
And then of course the part whereyou know, he says, you know,
look at you, she turns around. So she she fully immersed herself
in that emotion in that moment toyou know, exploit herself. She did
that. That was her just takingit to them. The Greek. You

(26:52):
know, I think he was kindof he he's saying to look, you
know, kind of like where didnot not even where did it, but
just kind of like whoa you knowthis is this is a Kiki I ain't
never seen before. It's just likeyou said, you know, shouts out
to the kid, you know,forgiving her that. I mean that that's
an ass now that it was,but not full flask grown ass. She

(27:15):
got an ass and you know,and she know it, but you know,
shit to that baby. But damnman, that ass you know,
as got to be covered. Man, your asses is completely different than but
and bootyes, like like this assis that's that's we'll fight on ass,
bro, and we're gonna find upwith some ass bro. Right. But

(27:37):
that's a regular female, a regularfem. I could run that star struck.
But Kiki. You grew up inhis life. You've been doing this.
This is you was a little bittykid. You've been around all these
celebrities and stuff like that. Youknow how to handle yourself in a certain
situation. Like like dogs just said, she didn't have to beat up there
on the stage. She initiated moreof the physical contact between and everything else.

(28:00):
She didn't have to do all thatshit. She overdid it herself.
But I still wouldn't have been mepresident. I wasn't mad at what was
going on on the stage, though, I just mad at the outfit.
Yeah, okay, so, uh, what's her name, swatty sweetie or
something like that. She was.She went to the Usher concert and she

(28:22):
was kind of keeping her distance,and then they showed another one of the
celebs. She went on head andjumped in her man's laugh, which I
thought was interesting because it's just like, nah, y'all getting out of hand
because they really like, I don'twant those smoke. I really thought at
first, like this was some kindof publicity stunt I did because it's just

(28:42):
so ridiculous. Yeah, I didtoo, like what are we doing?
Not? The one thing I didforget about with this whole situation though,
girl bought it to like on herpot. I forgot that. Boy,
dude, got that shit you can'tget rid of. Allegedly, now that
nigga's singing and he accidentally spent onyour lip or something. Now you kids

(29:04):
me, now you got a problem. Allegedly. I don't. I don't
know. Now, Okay, timeto the two ladies on the phone.
Let me ask you all this howhow where are y'all in at on this?
Because I remember, uh remember whenDestiny's Child called Terrence Howard and all

(29:26):
the niggas up there on the stageand doing the lap dance for them and
all that shit. So yo,man, in that situation, how do
y'all feel about that? Like ifit was in reverse? Yeah type of
thing. Yep. Well, youknow I'm different and me i'd be like,

(29:49):
we know, I'd be like,you know what I'm saying. I'm
different though, But he's not gonnago out there rocking out with his cock
out either, you know what Imean? Am I ly go? I
mean, you know, he ain'tabout to dry humper. So I don't
have to put I don't have topolice my person because they have sense,

(30:15):
you know what I'm saying, butyou know, o Cho Sinko gave a
good he said something that made sense. He said, you gotta read the
frying print when it comes to this, when it when it comes to the
key Ki and all of this stuff, because of what she does. You
know what I'm saying, like this, this is what she does. Who

(30:36):
was she before him? You know, celebrities performed? Huh, celebrities performed.
We have to remember, we don'tknow these people. We have no
idea because our we have no idea. We don't know them. We're just
on the outside looking in with allof our judgments and assumptions we have.

(30:59):
We don't know what's going on.We don't even know that where they stand
in their relationship. But the contextof what happened, though, affects the
nation, not just what they havegoing on there their internals. Isn't something
that's going to be like an effectof whatever we have going on on the
outside. What we saw and whatwe know, we knew a key Key

(31:22):
that was praising her man and praisingnot being a single woman, I mean
and not being a single Obama.And then we saw Kiki get up on
stage half naked with Ussher talking aboutwell whatever, whatever the hell were talking
about. Whatever the hell she didrealized saw that, Yeah, she performed.
But I mean, what comes first? Does your job come before your

(31:44):
your relationship? Does does where yourmoral stand that? Will standards go again?
You know what I mean? Withstandards? Are we really on?
So that's that's I don't know.Oh, you're saying that two things can't
be true. Oh damn, ofcourse two things can be true. But
I mean within context. Let's saythey can be true, but shouldn't happen

(32:09):
or not, or if it's rightor wrong, that's still that's still at
play, and who determines that.That's what And that's that's what I mean.
What standard are we going by?I told you what standard I go
by. I go by the script. So anything that goes left to right
from the script, that's what Ijudge it on. So I mean,
but what standard do you go on? Do you go on what you call

(32:30):
like self spiritualism or whatnot? Toit you feel like you make your own
decisions at the end of the day, and you and and there's no like
foundation per se like like that's that'swhat I don't really know. Tiffany where
you really stand on really where youblock is to say where your judgment should
really should really fall. Yeah,I mean I think that that's that's that's

(32:52):
the point here, right, It'slike we all have our standard and our
value system and how do we policeother people by our standards of value systems?
And that's where that's what the todo that. Yeah, but we
have no control over what other peoplechoose to do in their relationships. I

(33:14):
mean true, But this is justa conversation though. I mean I'm not
necessarily saying that that has to happen. But if we're going to have the
conversation, we have to figure outwhat standard is this point of view coming
from. Because yeah, having thepoint of view is good, and there's
no we're not pushing that away,but what foundation is that standing going?
So I can decide in my pointof view whether or not I even agree
or disagree with that. You knowwhat? I think that seriously, the

(33:39):
village idiot mind frame has gotten needsan upgrade. I mean, because again
I've said this time and time oftime again. If you are basing your
life of what you see in entertainment, you're already lost. You're already lost.
First of all, my relationship isnot your relationship, not for the
sake of for the sake of conversation, right, this is how we're talking.

(34:01):
But real shit, my relationship andyours, Yours ain't mine, Yours
ain't hers, and vice versa,whatever, so on and so forth.
We everything is. It's not likea cookie cutter thing or a tailor made
template on how to live your lifeand how to run your relationship. I

(34:22):
know for me, when I speakfor me, I ain't going out the
house with my ass out. Ihave been told by my spouse I would
probably cause a collision. I'm notgoing out the house with my ass out.
I just I'm not. I don't. I don't roll like that.
I think looking at Kiki, sheprobably excited that she got the BBL without

(34:44):
the BBL, you know what I'msaying. So she she going through a
thing because this ain't she ain't neverhad this before. So I get it.
I do get it. But myquestion then becomes, should celebrities refrain
from relationships or at's refraining fromthose who aren't in the business because it's
going to be a conflict. Yeah, I mean, if you're a male,

(35:10):
I would I'm just being real.I would absolutely refrain from getting into
anything serious because it seems that thecommon thing is something like this occurring,
or you know, some many evenworse. I mean, I know a
lot of people don't know about theinner workings of the athletes, but you

(35:35):
know, there's a whole, awhole discipline of how this thing is done
with, you know, doing somethingoutside of your spouse and then all that.
It's it's an entire industry. Youknow, people are just learning about
NDAs and things of that nature.But that's that's long been established in the
entertainment industry. That's why a lotof times you don't hear about, you

(35:58):
know, girls who have kids bycertain individuals. So, you know,
I just think it'd be a saferthing for especially men to exercise. If
you can't exercise discernment or dig discipline, then certainly don't get into because at
the end of the day, whowant to be harmed as a kid?

(36:24):
I also want to clarify too,I wouldn't have been all over Ussher.
I wouldn't have been all over period. But usher ain't even my type.
Second, like he I don't Idon't like guys that look like little boys,
you know, so yeah, butyeah, I mean it's just it's
just a way to do the stuff. You can be present. Again,

(36:46):
I it's hard to speak on her. I'm speaking on me because I'm not
in entertainment, so they're in adifferent world. You know what I'm saying.
It makes for good clicks, itmakes for a paycheck, you know
what I'm saying. How they didthe thing because everybody's talking about it,
and if they drop something afterward,we know what's really up. You know
what I'm saying. But yeah,I just would have kept my distance,

(37:09):
did my little rock like hey,you know, then my little whatever,
and kept it moving because nobody wantthat smoke. Don't nobody want that headache.
Don't nobody. It's just it's notworth it. But so should women
in the entertainment industry. Because Brandonspoke about men, should women in the
entertainment industry avoid relationships? I thinkhe goes the same way with civilians.

(37:35):
Love was just with the civilian orwhat someone not in the entertainment industry or
let's just yeah, if it's someonenot in the entertainment industry, and then
then they shouldn't be dealing with them. I guess if they flinging having a
little one night whatever, I guessit is. I don't know. I
don't agree with that, but Idefinitely think someone like Kickie Palmer should probably

(37:57):
like even if it is somebody who'snot known, it's should be somebody who
understands her industry and what I'm saying, who understands what it is, what
kind of work she does. That'sjust like somebody who comes from the civilian
world and starts dating Will Smith.That woman needs to know that Will Smith
is probably gonna be kissing a lotof other women in these movies, probably
gonna be doing all TV shows,probably gonna be you know. So that's

(38:21):
why I think either whether it's maleor female, either way, that's that
celebrity or that whomever should be shouldbe dealing with someone else who at least
understands that industry overall. Do youthink there's a chance that we might be
too possessive when it comes to loveand it's routed out of finger Yes,

(38:46):
yes, a d P. Yes, Yes, a lot of people end
up being possessive. But at thesame time, I think by I think
by letting go of being possessed andIt also needs to be replaced with the
healthy sense of time spent with yourspouse as well. You know what it

(39:06):
means. It is a healthy wayto do these things. But to the
point to where we to the pointwhere we try to take control of someone's
life in any manner, you knowthat shouldn't be. We definitely get to
possessive. Okay, all right,that's where I think though. I think

(39:30):
I believe in letting people bee thatI used to be possessive, so I
understand it from that point of view. I think we need to have more
talks about our expectations when it comesto relationships before we get into them,
and especially when we have kids.I think kids are thrown too much in
the mix. What is that noise? Okay? I think I think that,

(40:04):
in my opinion, in a relationship, we should give it about two
to three years before we even throwa child into it, to see how
it is with that person, seehow living with him, how they move.
You know, you gotta watch people. We're so busy and the you
four point of the relationship and thehoneymoon and we're producing children and then all

(40:27):
hell, bracelews. We've got tobe more responsible. How long before marriage?
How long until marriage should I say? Well, I think within a
year you should be talking about it, right, Within a year you should
be talking about it. If ifdude ain't talking about marriage within a year,

(40:47):
get rid of'em. Kick himto matter of fact, I tell
you what, if he ain't broughtit up, you bring it up.
See what he says. And ifhe acting like he's scared, he starts
stuff, are in a sweating andmoon walking? Fuck them next, because
what are we wasting time for?By a year? You know, by

(41:09):
a year, you know how you'refeeling, you know what I'm saying.
So then within three years, becausethings take time, Within three years,
we should be walking down the aisle, you know. So maybe we should
be I don't know, maybe weshould be getting married younger because having kids,

(41:30):
to me, it should be aprocess even with us preparing for them,
we're not even preparing for kids.And this whole notion that you can
never be ready for children as thebiggest propert shit I've ever heard in my
life. It will never be perfect, but you damn sure can prepare to
bring a life into this world,you know what I'm saying. And we're

(41:51):
not doing that. We're just humpingand loving and kids are coming for up
and then we're constantly trying to digourselves out of it and it's crazy.
So what is acceptable attire for whensomebody somebody about to say something? Or
was that somebody's phone glitchen, Ithink it looked like Jesus. If you're

(42:22):
not speaking, maybe put put yourphone on mute so we're not getting to
be back. Yeah, because somethingis doing the fool? Baby? Is
that is that me? It don'tsound like you black, you good moving
around in the bed or something.No, I'm just I'm just chilling.

(42:42):
I'm damn never sleep. Yes,that's what you need your camera on.
That's why, because you over theresleeping and ship. It don't make no
sense. I love cut me upsome containers. Make me some French fries

(43:05):
that sounds good for real homemade likebries. Hey man, look with the
fresh prison burger man, Look man, make it nice. Let's see what
I'm saying. You know what I'msaying. I might be slim brothers man

(43:25):
anyway, but as far as Ican't, would you you brought up acceptable
type for women? Yes? What'sacceptable to y'all? What do y'all think
is acceptable, because I gotta hearthis. I mean, I'm gonna take
my standpoint first, I believe asfar as as far as it goes,

(43:47):
try your best to hide your toto drape your curves if you will.
You know what I'm saying. Iain't saying you gotta be walking out.
I said you ain't gotta be ina box. And I mean, I
understand not all curves can be here, and we completely understand that, especially
not at the top of them,the top of the ass. You get.
If a woman got ass at thetop, you can't hide that.

(44:07):
Maybe what's looking under, what's hookingunder the bottom can possibly be drinked by
something. No, you know whatI'm saying. That's that's all. That's
all I'm saying. Because not showingso much skin to the point to where
a man knows what your breast andall your everything looks like. You ain't
even gotta ain't gotta holler at you. He could just think about you,
you know what I'm saying. JustI already know what's in there, you

(44:28):
know. Keep the cookies in thejar, you know, and then wrap
the paper around the jaw in thecloset I'm playing. Okay, so let's
so let's get specific. How doyou feel about tank tops? Is that
initie? What kind of tank topwe're talking about? Oh my god?
Now, but think about the dude, they got spaghetti strap Johns. That

(44:50):
strap girls be wearing the spaghetti strapJones with the no bra and the breastbe
flap jacking all over the joms.So what what? What kind of aint
type of what we're talking about?Because they also have the ones that women
were a little more fitted that theywere for like you know, just every
day would not They don't that keepEverything comes from it depends. Okay,
so it fitted, spaghetti strap,tain't tip? You got a braun?

(45:16):
Yeah? You know what this conversationit's so ridiculous right now? Why is
it ridiculous? Why this is agood conversation? No? If I have
a reason for this though, becauseI want to see how far I want
to see. We need to knowwhat they're thinking. I don't want you
to just what the fuck are theythinking? Put around with this ship?

(45:40):
Noble is on the woman too,though, because some of y'all got more
titty than others, and some ofy'all don't buy the right side cirtain just
because just won't it don't mean itdecides you have all. I think you
can blanket it with just being modest, you know, just when you get

(46:04):
drided though, Yeah, because wegot to decipher the modesty though, man,
because think about it, the woman. The women are gonna push the
boundary of what modesty actually means.If we don't, then and you know
what, I agree with you,Holy, that's why you should ask the
man. So I asked your dad, ask your brother, ask your husband,
Hey, how do I look?Women ask me in that all the

(46:25):
time anyway, and generally, ifthere's a man around that cares a lot
about you and care about your safety, he's want to tell you the truth.
Hey you look nice, but that'sa little bit too revealing. You
may want to change this, Youmay want to change that. So if
it was, if it's me,anytime my wife asked me, hey,
how do I look? I knowwhat that means. I know exactly what

(46:46):
that means. I know she's tryingto find out engage from me. Whether
or not what she's wearing is acceptablenumber one in my eyes, and number
two, if she's okay out therein the eyes of other men, or
if she's painted herself to be atarget. So ask men. If women
can't seem to figure out what modestis, then simply ask THEML you can

(47:07):
you got face time, FaceTime?Hey, this is what I'm thinking about
wearing to this event. What doyou think? Do you think it's fitting
fun of environment? Or do youthink I should probably change up? I'm
thinking about these two different outfits.What do you think? You know how
my body is, you know,how my breast is, my ass blah
blah blah. You know, andmost all women got a gay dude that
it's not even looking at you likethat, you know. So, I
mean, if we really, ifwe really care about whether or not we

(47:30):
want to we want to ensure thatwe're sending the right message, we have
ways to resolve the conflict. Ijust think most women don't care, especially
Black women. I think that Ibelieve black women, and I think that
most black men should do a betterjob of listening to them and believe in
what they say and how they behave. But they don't care about what most

(47:50):
of us think. They don't theydon't want to get up and dress a
certain way for you, you know, it's some of them do, but
by and large, and you couldjust look at the comments of how they
you know, back Kicky Farm onthis particular situation. They don't care about
what we have to say. Thisis this is loosely our woman. So

(48:10):
you know, whether or not shewants to dress a particular way for us,
chances are it doesn't matter because she'sgonna do exactly what she wants to
do. And whether or not you'rethere to champion it, that's that's on
you. That's your problem. Sonah, I mean, I'm I'm sort
of kind of out of it becauseyou know, I got my old lady,
but you know this, this thiswhole you know this, this whole

(48:35):
situation, and and whether or notyou know a woman is dressing modestly and
things that make sure. Man,I mean, I honestly don't care.
Honestly, I'm out of it.Brand I do agree with one thing you
said, because when I get dressedin the morning, I'm not asking a
man nothing you are absolutely grand accepted. I'm not doing that. But to

(49:08):
what extent are you asking me justto ask me like, hey, hey,
how this look? Or you thinkdo you think I should wear it?
If you got to ask me ifI think you should wear it out,
then you already know the answer tothat question your damn self. Hey,
can I ask Tiffany, Tiffany,why don't you care? Because I

(49:29):
know I govern myself according to myown values and how I feel and what
I like to wear. I don'tfeel the need to check in with my
man, my brother whoever, Idon't feel the need to do that,
So now I will myself. Itend to dress fairly modest. That's just

(49:55):
because that's how I used to dress. It's not because some man hold me
to But do you Can you saythat you choosing to dress modestly has to
do somewhat with the safety of yourenvironment and your everyday walk. No,
I can't say it does have anythingto do with that, not at all.
So you don't think that I'm different. I'm not. I'm human.

(50:21):
Gains affect me and impact you know, how I view things and whatever,
So I'm not gonna say it.It doesn't have anything to do with it.
But on purpose though, right,I mean, I'm not. No,
I don't. I don't think aboutOh, if I wear this dress
when I go outside, is theregonna be a man who feels this way

(50:44):
or no, no, I don't. I don't think like that. I
can I ask why why do Inot think about how a man's gonna view
me when I walk out of thehouse? Necessarily that? But like,
why don't you think? Why isit that you don't think about the different
proven stereotypes of different men that areout there that are focused on different things

(51:08):
that have been proven to happen towomen. Why is that something that you
don't even think about. It's notbased on my experiences and my perception of
things. I just don't. Idon't feel like a target. Okay,

(51:31):
I don't think so. And Icould wear sweats and get out and something
happened to me, you know,so I don't. I don't equate what
I wear to the chances of somethingbad happening to me when I would leave

(51:52):
my house. Safety might have beenthe wrong word. I don't necessarily means
something bad happening to you? GotI guess I should have said more or
less type of attention you received.I mean, you're like, because you

(52:12):
know you can dress this way,just whatever you put on, niggas coming
look. But personally, I'd liketo see a woman. If I meet
you and you got on a Dawsonsuit and your hat on your hair and
a point of till pulled out throughthe back, and I still can you
still get my attention? I knowwhat you're gonna be when you get dressed,

(52:35):
so I won't. I won't hurtI feel that. I look at
the weather. I couldn't be here. I'm just getting real here. I

(52:55):
look at the weather. I loveit. Oh, it's gonna be chilly
today. Let me make sure youknow I dressing layers, or I'm running
late. Let me throw on adress so I don't have to worry about
matching things up. Or I'm doingthis activity today, I wouldn't be comfortable.
Let me put this on. Thoseare the things I think about it.

(53:16):
I tried to dig. I triedto dig to see if Brandon was
wrong in any sense of the way. I was trying to see if I
say, she has to carry someway and some reason, some factor that
about a mental opinion, and IBrandon was right. Black women just do
not caring in his sense of thematter. As now, I wouldn't say
all of them. I was justsaying the vast majority. Yeah, let

(53:38):
me correct my Yeah, you're right, You're right, Well, I would
say this. I was just havingthis conversation with Brandon as a matter of
fact the other day. When Iwas growing up, my dad did not
trip about clothes. That just wasnot something that he had an issue with.
I. You know, I couldwear my stomach out once I got
older, right, we're talking aboutlike seventeen and buff I mean, and

(53:59):
even middle school. I remember himhaving buying me this outfit that was very
fitted, and I really and Iknow it was something because I had to
die that I was actually on andoff of the relationship with. And he'd
be like, I love when youwear them pants like they you know,
And I'm hi, you know,because I'm not thinking about that, right,
I just think I look cute.But I don't know. My dad

(54:20):
never he never was like cover upor do this or do that. Prime
to give you an example, whenI then got with my husband we moved
in together, it was certain thingshe'd be like, well, why you
got that on? Cover up?You know you got kids, or you
know, the the maintenance man thisbefore we had a house was coming over

(54:44):
and then he decided to become themaintenance man because he like my hand other
brother in my crib woo. Butit wasn't in shoe with me growing up,
you know, So I don't know. I think every man is not
the same. I respect mind,but sometimes I mean I remember having the
outfit I bought dog wasn't nothing shown, it was just fitted and by him

(55:07):
said it was too much, soI ended up giving it to my friend,
like girl, you can have it, and and no, I was
you were wondering you did was notyour friend. I'm just saying, I
know, Tiffany, just look atthe weather. You know, if it's
hot, it's hot. But Ithink it's important to note too, right,

(55:34):
And I was thinking about this drivingearlier. We don't have to agree
with our spouse to just compromise anddo it. So I don't even want
to hear the chip so whatever,let me just you know, you can
even take that too. I don'teven want to hear the bullshit. Let
me let me just change. Oh, you know what I'm saying, like,
whatever you need to do, Imean, but I don't. I

(55:59):
don't want to go back and forthabout this, so let me wear something
else, you know what I'm saying. And if that's how you feel.
I think we feel that we alwayshave to agree or we have to be
in unism with the person to doit. You don't all it's okay to
feel how you feel. You're ahuman. You got your own ideologies and
feelings. But at the end ofthe day, when you win somebody and

(56:21):
it makes them uncomfortable, then youchange or you don't, or you don't
you stay were not align it.You know, I want to dress how
I want to dress. I wantto do what I want to do and
find somebody who's cool with that.Because there are men that don't have issues
with these things. They exist.It's some mean that like they women too
dress like that. It's somewhere andI'm not making this up. I know

(56:43):
it's for a fact. It's menout here that when mine a woman walking
out of the house looking like lookinglike a stripper. Now, what type
of man that is? That's awhole different story. But I'm just saying,
fine, what and that's fair.But I'm just saying that man exists.
Now, there might be some otherthings that that man comes with that

(57:08):
you might not want to deal with, but that man exists. So I
mean, there's options. We allhave options. We have options. So
I got this this clip I wantedto play today and see what y'all thought

(57:30):
about this. I thought this wasinteresting, and here we go. You
have three kids, you've never beenmarried, You're not a prize. Then
I got to think of that's whyactually don't like Kevin Samuel. It was
just hot girls summers, you know, when they were hot, and during
the summers, they spent that timeout going through me in And now they

(57:53):
find themselves in a place where nothingis good enough. You know why,
because they've had just about all ofit. Mh, you can't make this
ship up? Is that going ona solo tize is real? That's all

(58:22):
I've said. It is it is. I think we need to be selective
with who we procreate with. Well, where does the accountability come in?
Because you know, I'm always strongon accountability for women. Right, if
you follow me long enough, youknow that. But let's look, we
we own women hard. What aboutthe men? Well? Which ones?

(58:49):
As a good question, which whichman? What do you mean? Which
man? Which Which man? Which? Which man? Which men? Yeah,
that's what I'm trying to find out. Which men are? We are
we trying to hold accountable which whichmen are we do we think is a
part of the problem. I mean, see what's interesting, and I'm not

(59:14):
talking about y'all, Okay, Iknow, but there are some men that
want to hold women to the firethat anything goes with them. Well that's
not just just not true, andthe numbers bear it out. Fifty one
percent of the men don't have womenand don't engage in sex. They don't

(59:37):
have sex and they don't have women. So that's fifty one percent of all
black men. Then you have thirtyone percent of Black men like myself who's
married and I'm with my wife,I'm with my kids, I'm at home
taking care of So that's a totalof eighty two percent. So what's happening.
Eighteen percent of the men are theones that seventy percent of the women

(01:00:01):
are choosing, and they're choosing themover and over and over again. You
just heard the Nay Jackson talk aboutthe fact that she used to pass Derek
Jackson's women on the staircase and shewas always cool with it, and she
married the man after the fact.So it's eighteen percent of the men that

(01:00:23):
most women are seeing. Just likewhen you buy a car and as soon
as you get that car, yousee that car everywhere around. That's what
women are doing. They are lookingat all men, and they're only able
to see the ones that they engagewith, not all men, So they
don't see the fifty one percent.They don't see the other thirty two percent,

(01:00:44):
the men like myself, the menlike myself, the men like the
gentlemen that's on this panel. Wedon't get the love, and we definitely
don't, but we get all thehate. And that's the point. So
we get painted with this broad brushlike we behave and exhibit the same behaviors
of the eighteen percent of the menthat y'all keep choosing or women keep choosing,
and we just don't. The numbersdon't even bear it out. Most

(01:01:06):
women don't even choose most men.They only choose a small subset commend So
when we talk about holding men accountableor pointing or putting mirror back in the
face of men, we do holdeach other accountable. Kevin Samuels, he
held men accountable for years, nopeeps, no words, nobody said anything.

(01:01:28):
Most men are very hard on othermen, especially if they're not,
you know, stepping up to theplate and own it up to their responsibilities.
Most dudes on here knows at leastone guy that doesn't do anything for
his kids, and what we do, we cut him off. We we
can't even stand it. We don't, yeah, exactly, So we back
away from those type of guys.So we hold each other accountable. The

(01:01:51):
problem is most women don't see thatbecause we're not all standing six three,
we all not chiseled, you knowwhat I mean, So we don't meet
those atavistic maintenance standards that most womenabscribe to, which is the reason why
they'll sit out and say that they'regonna wait for the prince charming. But
more often than not, what they'redoing is sharing the same eighteen percent.
That's it. So you're saying allthese women will, all the babies,

(01:02:15):
the illegitimate children are sharing the samegroup of they all got the same baby
as. Not only am I sayingit? Well, not only not only
am I am? I'm not sayingit. The CDC is saying it.
The senses are saying it. Seventypercent of the children born out of wedlock
is born to eighteen percent of allblack men. That's discussing them. I'm

(01:02:36):
gonna play devil's advocate. I'm aboutto be real shady right now. You're
talking about the same CDC that gaveall that propaganda about COVID told you to
throwing that ended as masco, what'sgonna see your life? All these eyes
told you to go get the jaball this, you're gonna trust that same

(01:02:59):
sea or okay, well what aboutthe census. The census is not lying
and we're signed enough for the census. But both of all I'm saying is
both sources say the same thing,and that's the unfortunate part. Now we
want to question the data centers whenthe information that we receive isn't something that

(01:03:20):
goes with our narrative. But inthis situation, there's more places than just
the CDC that points out the factthat our women are doing something that is
is that that doesn't help their caseor being this you know, powerful superwoman.
They're making bad decisions and we needto do a better job of holding

(01:03:42):
them accountable. You know how youyou kind of catch that kid and that
kid fights you tooth and nail,knowing that they the dead room. That's
precisely how black women are behavior whoknow that they are doing this behavior all
we need to do is look around. How many baby daddies do Some of
these women have multiple And then youlook at the numbers that according to the
Census, they have one point twomillion more children than black men do.

(01:04:08):
That's crazy. But how does thathappen? What they're not being they're being
fleeting and they're not being respectful withtheir bodies, and we have to call
that type of behavior out otherwise it'sjust going to continue to happen and it's
going to destroy it. Well,I think the black community is destroyed anyway,
But that's a conversation for a completelydifferent topic. But yeah, I

(01:04:29):
mean, I mean, well,I think, I think, I think,
I think as I think we're good. I think, honestly, I
just think we're good. But ifyou look at how women are behaving,
just just look at the behaviors.You don't have to take anybody's word or
just look at how they're behaving andwhat they're choosing to do, and what
they tell you when you tell themabout themselves. It'll give you all the

(01:04:49):
information you need to know this thisthing is destructing, is I mean,
in order for us to have adance, we need to have a partner,
and black men do not have apartner in the black community, not
in the black woman, not forreal, and not in total, not
total. I like that, nottotal. Is there a pot or number

(01:05:15):
one. I don't think black peopleare doing the hell. And the reason
why I say that it's because thisworld has been going on for so long,
even before we even was thought offor us to be as arrogant to
think that we about to fuck itup or we're just gonna poof and be
gone or whatever. Nah, thereare cycles and stuff like that. So

(01:05:36):
I just don't believe that. I'mvery optimistic. I will say there is
a disconect. I will say thatwe have a lot of dysfunction. I
will say there are issues. ButI also think we can start to concentrate
on the things that are working.Because to think that everybody's gonna be married

(01:05:56):
and be cohesive and do right thatjust that ain't gonna have Because this is
life, right, it's got tobe nuances for the world to go around,
for it to make sense for usto be here. You know,
this is not We're not gonna becopy and paste. That ain't gonna never
happen. And I think at somepoint. We have to embrace our differences
and appreciate them. But I don'tthink I don't don't think we're damned to

(01:06:19):
hell. But what do you think? And you guys opinion, what do
you think would be or put usin a road to repair? For me,
the only thing that I got,and this is this is I mean,

(01:06:40):
I hate to say it is.When you have a when you have
a non cooperative anything, right,which is a partner, what do you
do? You trade it in oryou find somebody else who is a cooperative?
And right now there there's this big, huge thing going on right now

(01:07:02):
called the passport, bros. AndI think that's the answer to the solution
of the problem. We don't havea willing participant. Were our women are
killing a thousand babies of hours perday and have been since nineteen seventy three.
So that tells you that she doesn'twant to have your baby. Then
eighty percent at the time she's divorcingI'm sorry, seventy percent of the time
she's divorcing your ass. So thattells me that she doesn't want to be

(01:07:25):
in a long term, committed relationshipwith you. Then she's saying this,
she's saying she don't she's not attractedto most of y'all because she's only having
children with eighteen percent of y'all.So what do you do? You go
where you're appreciated. You go toColumbia dr you know, you go to
other places where women are more moreapt to be receptive to you, and

(01:07:47):
then we restart the black community withother women. That's the only way that
something like this could be resolved becausewe don't have a willing participant. Okay,
I could get with that. I'msorry, g go ahead. No,
I just had a quick question.Maybe where the fuck do you be
getting these numbers from? I appreciateit, but you'll be coming too.

(01:08:09):
Motherfucker's quick tu nineteen. I'm like, what the fuck does he get where
you read that in? I mean, you know what. You can go
to Black demographics dot com and theysigned all their sources. It's just a
good hub to be able to seeeverything. Then there's another guy by the
name of media Man. He hekind of gets all this information. But
you know, I'm always been somebodywho's been a page turner, you know,

(01:08:31):
I love, you know, readingarticles and things of that nature.
You know, So yeah, Imean, then I'm not feeling like I
don't believe the numbers. I knowyou did your research on it, like
this just be having this? Didhe be right off the dog with the
numbers? Like you know every converseapplaud to my nigga? I mean,
I know who I know what quinsis. I know is yeah. I

(01:08:55):
mean but you know for me,you know, and and same thing with
you And now I mean Corey,you know we all got boys, you
know. And I want to knowwhat the prospect is for my legacy.
What is my legacy gonna look likein the next ten fifteen years when they
start bringing kids to my house?And when I looked at the landscape of

(01:09:17):
their potential mates, I don't seeanything that I want to pair it with
my sons, not right now?Can I can? I cannot jump on
that right quick. I'm gonna sureit is my oldest son. It's funny
you say that because a friend ofall in Australia they have a daughter and

(01:09:39):
I was talking with him. WhenI was talking one day, I was
like, we might as well justgo ahead and try to arrange a marriage
or something like that. I waslike, because my son is about to
be coming home and nothing. Iwas like, I know what I deal
with, and I know what's allowednowadays. That's only gonna multiply by time
my son reaches my age. Iwas like, I don't want him or
you know of teenage years. Isaid, I don't want him coming home
with anything like that. That Theylaughed about it, but I was I

(01:10:02):
was like, I exponentially exponentially,man, And even when you look at
the Bible, man, that's theonly reason I think that King Solomon did
what he did. He had tothe daughters of Sarah. Wasn't wasn't plentiful.
They started being hard headed, theystarted going left. They started doing
the exact same thing that's being doneright now Solom and good More. It's

(01:10:23):
no different. So I think thatright, So, you know, it's
the same thing that if you don'thave a willing employee, what you do
You fire them find somebody else?True? True? You know what,
how what would you say? I'msorry? And I was just saying,
you gotta have mercy on something though, because I was listening to Brandon earlier.
He was saying, you know,if you had something that's uncooperative,

(01:10:46):
you know you either replace it youknow, you replace it and you just
get a new one or whatnot.But some things, some things now that
you know, just some or worthhaving mercy enough to fix. Because sometimes
you got something yet and that's beenworking for a while and it stops for
a little while, you gotta giveit a little mercy to get back,
right, That's all I'm saying.I agree, and even and even in

(01:11:10):
that case, right, you givemercy, mercy to somebody who you know
is making a mistake. These womenbuying large, not all, but buying
large, are doing so willingly.They're telling you to your face me grow,
I don't want, I don't wantanything to do with you. I
don't care about you. I don'tI'm not gonna listen to you. I'm
not gonna do anything that any womanof any other race does for their man.

(01:11:32):
You don't get that treatment. Sowhat's the point we are being these
superman by telling women that they're whatthey're saying isn't true. I mean,
I'm tired of man saying that,Oh if a woman says that she she
she's uh, she's independent and shedon't need a man, that that's not

(01:11:53):
what she's trying to say, Andthat's not true. No, she's telling
you the truth. She don't needa man, she don't need your ass
believer her. I mean, butshe's saying that because she doesn't see nothing
worth needing. I really think it'snot for you to come back today up
to get over being better. That'snot my problem. I mean, yeah,

(01:12:15):
but okay, everybody is not.I happen to find a good,
good one. I did. Ihappen to find a really good one.
But I think once we get ourcommunity together as a whole, our infrastructure,
we get in control of our culture, our community, I think things
will be better as a whole.We don't have control as a whole.

(01:12:38):
We're talking about moving out or goingout the country to find mates, but
we're not talking about moving out thecountry to build our own communities. You
need to have a community. Yougot to start with the home first.
We can't build that community. Didyou get them heads in that household?
Right? I'm says real talk.I mean, she's very true. Community

(01:12:58):
is made of people and families,and you have to create that family.
How can you create that family whenyou don't have a willing participant. We
can't force black women to be ourmates. We've tried that, they keep
divorcing our black ass. We getthem branded, and they keep a boarding
the baby. So what do youdo? You go out, You go

(01:13:18):
somewhere else where you're going to havea more amenable, willing participant. And
that's just not here, you know. I One thing I will say is
that, just to comment on whatyou're saying, Brandon, it sounds very
one sided. Okay, it soundsvery one sided, as if the male

(01:13:41):
is the victim here. Okay,this could be from my own lens.
I'm not saying that how youthel isin valid. I'm just saying from my
own lens, it sounds pretty onesided, as if you know, women
don't want you, women don't wantto have your kids, women are not

(01:14:04):
gonna participate and then are not done, you know. And it's just like
a relationship is transactional. I agree, right, and they're relationship. The
dynamic does not exist without two participates. Correct. And so you're saying,

(01:14:27):
when you're speaking about this, you'respeaking as though the woman has all the
control here, and I think there'sa piece missing. Okay, how how
am I saying that the woman hasall the control by by? What?

(01:14:47):
So you're saying, she doesn't wantto have your kids, she doesn't want
to many to you, she doesn'twant to cooperate, she doesn't as if
like as if this woman gets intoa relationship with a man unwillingly, like
he obviously got into a willingly right, And she's yeah, I think I

(01:15:15):
think women do things for different reasons. But as as we're talking about nation
building and communic community building and thetrajectory of the black community, it requires
certain things more than just you know, two people coming together. They have
to create babies, and they haveto create communities by creating more babies,

(01:15:38):
and you know, being in standtogether. That's the only way that you
know, we can grow and andthat's that's been on the decline for some
time. So in this, inthis relationship that that you're speaking of,
are you saying that the man wantsto be married, the man wants to

(01:15:59):
have this these children, the manwants these things and the woman does not.
Only only according to our actions andthe numbers, would I even say
anything like that. So, yes, only by her action. I'm not
saying any by you know, I'mnot speaking an adoptically. I'm just talking
about the numbers. Correct. Contextmatters, right, Okay, well,

(01:16:26):
well tell tell me the context.Yeah, kind of can kindly if you
can't explain the context of one thousandabortion since nineteen seventy three, from from
nineteen seventy three to now every singleday, does that convey that you want
to have the black man's baby.That's not what I'm saying. What I'm

(01:16:48):
saying is I'm not arguing whether thewoman wants these things that you're saying,
Okay, I want What I'm whatI'm saying is what's behind at Because if
I'm in a relationship with someone whois abusive, who is not, uh,

(01:17:08):
you know all these things, contextmatters, That's what I'm saying.
So you're saying that, like thewoman is not wanting to be who's not
a willing participant in this this familystructure? Why? And is that is
the is the man not? Like? Where does he? What role does

(01:17:31):
he play in this? Well,I think that it's obvious the black woman
has traded in the black man forzai for the benefits that she gets from
her state father, which she's receivedsince probably about the mid seventies. And

(01:17:51):
it's simple she's not under the responsibilityof the black man. She hasn't been,
and she she conveys that to usevery single day. So I mean,
we we can, we can talkabout the wise, but the facts
are she's choosing to do and exhibitcertain behavior that's against moving forward with her

(01:18:15):
by her own action. There arelayers to it, and unless we're addressing
the layers, how how can werectify the issues? Yeah, I think
I think we're at terminal velocity.I think we're at the point in overturn
at this point. Yeah, Ithink maybe you know, twenty years maybe

(01:18:38):
ago or twenty three, maybe thirtyyears ago, we probably could have had
a conversation that was going to possiblychange the trajectory of where this community has
had it. We've we've gone waypast that point. This is not a
redeemable situation. This this is over. We're not coming back from this.
The black community as we under stoodit, it's over with. It's gone.

(01:19:05):
So we're gonna be the relics ofWe're gonna be the relics of what
the black community used to look like. We we are. But I mean,
but we can have the conversation,that's fine, But I just you're
talking to somebody and I guess maybethat would probably help help move things along.
You're talking to somebody who don't believein anything, like the black community

(01:19:30):
is now in the future. Ijust don't see it, Okay, So
what do you see? What doyou see as being in the future?
Then what is your vision closer tolike Brazil? Yeah, closer to Brazil,
very multicultural, mixed in the darkestpeople of the nation that probably you
know that was the majority, probablybeing a minority, those things. I

(01:19:53):
think that that's where we're headed.So it's this, I mean, and
what would that Okay, so let'ssay that happens. What does that mean
that we're that the black community asit as it used to be is gone
up until nineteen sixty five? Isover with that? Where we were the

(01:20:13):
most married, the most the largestcommunities. You know, well, the
we were the most married group inthe United States up until about nineteen sixty
five. And what happened right afternineteen sixty five. That's the women's suffrage
movie Feminism. So Tiffany highlighted somethingand I was trying to articulate earlier,

(01:20:40):
but she helped me put it intowords. We're these are all symptoms,
but what is the issue. Seewe're talking about symptoms, but what is
the issue, Because let's go withblack women don't want to cooperate. Why
that's a good question. Answer it? So why man? Men have been

(01:21:03):
been trying to figure this out?I mean, Kevin Samuels had an entire
show trying to figure this out.So I think I think all men would
love to know. Why. Whydon't we have a willing participant? Why?
Why do you keep killing our babies? Why won't you stay with me?
Why you keep divorcing me? Why? Why do you keep going to
the small percentage of men? Why? Why why don't you like us?
Why? Why fifty one percent ofus single? Why why you don't like

(01:21:27):
us? Why what we do?What I think? I think because we
get in relationships and we night marryeach other to death instead of just trying
to be cool and be loving.We come with all of our fears and
our traumas, and we constantly eithernightmare or gas like one another to death
until somebody says, fuck this,I just want my peace. That's what
the fuck I think. Because ifyou listen to the p our our conversation,

(01:21:51):
most of it is rooted in fear. I agree Yeah, it's fear.
It's all fucking fear, and whothe hell wants to deal with that
every day? So maybe people ratherchoose non existence than to live and be
tortured every fucking day with your fear. This happened, that happened, this

(01:22:13):
may happen. Let's just be Whydon't we be in the moment on the
line. I mean, you knowwhat I'm saying, like, I mean,
I get it, and you gotOh, I'm gonna shut up?
I am, I am, I'msorry, I'm gonna shut up. In

(01:22:35):
some cases, I agree, andin some cases I'm playing Devil's advocate and
making good conversation. But I mean, some of the stuff is very trivial
that we argue about. We do, like, I mean, even looking
at social media, I don't knowwhy the fuck somebody's on social media arguing
about Adam twenty two letting somebody elsefuck his wife. That's his wife,

(01:22:57):
if he wants somebody to bang hiswife, letting somebody Why do we care?
We're so worried about everything else outsideof our household, and when do
we ever just be in the moment, Well what we got going on?
Go ahead, you deal. I'msorry I'm my mother. Shut let me
Mark, I'm not good because Iwant to ask Tiffany about the whole man
on the line things that I heard. So tiffly see, let me ask

(01:23:20):
you a question. You so youwould want to be you're married, Tom
not? No, I'm not married? Would you like? Are you are
you okay with being married? Areyou against that? You with that one?
Oh? No, I would beokay with being married. I've been
married before, So you're okay withbeing the second wife? Then? Right?

(01:23:41):
What do you mean by the secondwife as in the line or or
what? No? I don't feellike my woman who had done the line?
No. So so so basically youhave enough Priday and you you're humble
enough to allow your husband that chowsyou first to be like, I'm about
to gonna get this younger model,this whole brand new Tesler thing. I'm

(01:24:02):
about to go get that thing andbasically come and stay with us. But
you know what your womanhood and noton the line. You ain't gotta stay
beautiful, you ain't gotta stay fit, you ain't gonna do none of that.
Where are you going with this?I'm not understand. So basically,
what I'm getting that is going backto the Kiki Palmer things. She had
a man. She was up theredealing with another man on stage. Right.

(01:24:23):
So now now youven you brought upmanhood being on the line, and
I remember you brought that up inaccordance to that. So then I have
to bring up and say, okay, well what we'll put a woman will
puts a womanhood on the line.If being up there with another man doing
those things dressed like that doesn't putthe respect of one's relationship and manhood and
that in that area on the line, then that means Tiffany, if you

(01:24:44):
and I were married, I cango get as many wise as I want
because your womanhood and on the line, you ain't going nowhere. There's nothing
for you to complain about. Whatdo you mean by that, by by
the womanhood? So let me clarifyone thing back at one manhood being on
the line, so that that wasn'tcorrect. Wait, you said you wasn't

(01:25:10):
the one. What who said thatwas? That was old girl on that
video? Now, But but Ijust remember the conversation. We just wait,
there's an echo I can barely hear. I'm sorry, I'm not sure.
Okay, we're good. We're good. Mike's all right. I just

(01:25:34):
remember in the conversation we were justhaving, I remember her saying manhood on
the line. When we were talkingback, when Raquel was speaking, you
know, the comment manhood on theline was brought up, and definitely said
that because that was it was broughtup in the means of almost as if
it was trivial, and I don'tthink it's trivial at all. I think

(01:25:55):
that when Raquel talked about all ofthe fears, that's when I brought up
the manhood being on the line,because I think that is a genuine fear.
Yeah, but I don't think thatshould be calculated as a fear.
That's something that's something that's something that'sa fact, right like you you literally,
if I decide to if I makea decision to bring a woman into
my life, right and this womandecides to go about doting about her own

(01:26:17):
means, not following any of thespoken about agreements that our relationship should be
about. Not only is she puttingthe relationship on the line, but you
gotta look at society if you haveif I have my woman going out there
clearly being and looking like she forthe streets, every other man is going
to do exactly what we're doing.The key keep Palmer man right now?

(01:26:39):
Man, you bugging gee, what'sgoing on with you? This is something
that I don't even have to feellike it's on the line. My manhood
is on that line regardless. She'sto go in the man's world in the
way I mean amongst men. That'show it worked, and so that that
judgment is gonna be there. IfBrandon saw h Brandon saw my woman walking

(01:27:00):
up the street and uh, andhe saw me allowing her to walk around
in the strip of clothes and stufflike that, next time we got on
this panel, he'd be like,yo, g and I hate whatever you
like, is what you like,But it ain't no way in hell I'm
letting mind like I'm gonna get corrected, like he said earlier, and men
hard on each other. So Imean, that's all I was saying.
Oh, and I get that,and I respect it. But do know

(01:27:21):
that the whole premise behind this iswith somebody else is gonna say and think
true, we gotta acknowledge that.I mean, yeah, and that's not
gonna and that shouldn't shape so muchof what I have going on, But
we also have to keep reality andplay. You can. If it walks

(01:27:42):
like a duck, talk like aduck, Damn, we're gonna think it's
a duck. I mean, that'sthat's reality. So to say that with
other thinks shouldn't shape what we believe. I can understand that. But to
say that we don't take in theplate with others think in general, then
makeup wouldn't be existent. We oh, people think I agree in this instance,

(01:28:04):
I'm saying two things can be trueat the same time. This is
not one or the other. That'snot what I'm saying at all. I'm
saying both are true. I thinkwas shaking. I got you, I
got you. See what I'm sayingbecause most of the stuff I mean because

(01:28:25):
if we go back briefly and weswitched the roles and it was a man
up there doing what Kiki was doingand he was rocking out with his cock
out, Oh, they were womenwould be mad. They would be it
would you know what I'm saying,We don't play that correct. Yeah,
So it's like I have to befair and say that they would and and

(01:28:49):
this argument I t and I hadthe conversation too well she's not married.
But if you're in a relationship,does that mean only with only marriage deserves
respect? So I can be withyou and have a kid with you,
But I don't have to respect youuntil you marry me. I don't.

(01:29:12):
I think. I think you respectthe person regardless, you know, And
I don't know, man, Ithink I think we just we're really hard
on one another. We do.Again, we do a lot of gas
lighting, we do a lot ofclassifying. It's crazy, it gets problems.
In my opinion, we are weare very very hard on each other.

(01:29:34):
I think we're also hard on ourselves, yes, which plays out,
you know, in harmful ways inour relationships. Yeah. I think being
self centered harms a lot of ourcommunities in general. The fact that most
people within our community, our people, we're so self focused that we can't

(01:29:57):
even begin to think about outside ofour selves to even try to build that
even that household or that community orwhatever beyond that. Like everything's all about
self progression in all community, ifyou will. I think also, because
there is so much trauma, it'snot even self progression. I think it's

(01:30:23):
self protection and survival is what Ithink it is. I dig on that
explain more, please. I thinkpeople are out here trying to survive.
That's what I think. I thinkpeople are trying to kill. I think

(01:30:47):
whether it's in effective manners or not, you know, might be ineffective methods
that we're using. But I thinkpeople we're all out here just trying to
figure it out, and we're tryingto do that in ways that don't further
traumatize us. M I think wewe are just really hard on each other,

(01:31:15):
and we are like pointing the fingersconstantly, is your fault, and
this is your fault and this isyour problem. Meanwhile, like, who's
who's really taking accountability? Who's who'sreally sitting down and saying Because my opinion
about the whole Peeky Palmer thing,and I don't I I don't really speak
on it too much, but Idon't. I think his whatever feelings he

(01:31:43):
had about it was valid, rightin terms of if he did feel like,
well, I don't want my mywoman, the mother of my child
doing this or that. I'm notsaying he's wrong for that. I would
never say he was wrong for howhe felt about that. I think the
way that we commune nicate things areineffective most times, right, Like,

(01:32:05):
like I said, he mentioned thewhole mother thing. Is the issue that
you have the fact that she's amother or is it the fact that that's
your lady? You know? Andwhat's wrong with you having that conversation with
her? Right? We already knowif you put something online, we're gonna
get all kind of attention. Everybody'sgot an opinion, every you know,

(01:32:28):
and we're all seeing things from ourpoints of view and whatever. But you
know, it's ineffective most definitely idiots. I don't I don't understand it.
Social media is really knocking the subsideahead. Yeah, and it's not only

(01:32:51):
social media. I mean I seethis in relationships with you know, regular
civilians, right, Like, sometimeswe have to forget, you know,
how we think things, this picturethat we've painted of how life is supposed
to go. Right, Sometimes wehave to do what works. I'm an

(01:33:16):
agreement, There needs to be aconversation had between the people in this agreement.
How do we make this work?What does this look like? How
do we make this work for us? Exactly? And you and you're never
going to get everybody who logs ona social media to being agreement with that.

(01:33:39):
It's just we're just not gonna getit. You're not gonna get it,
especially when we have people that literallywill argue, would have stop sign
they're looking for an argument, theywake up for it. So definitely,
yes, all right, little Frenchfries was good as well. What little

(01:34:02):
friend dress was good? Little Ithought she went to sleep. Listen.
The bottom line is to me thatI think anyway, if he has a
problem with whatever she was doing,the outfit or whatever, then he should

(01:34:23):
have contacted her instead of putting iton the social media and for the world
to see because we had already sought. Now, you gotta have a discussion
with your lady, like you knowthat. I don't feel I feel like
that one cool who and and andthat would have been that because if he
did that, we wouldn't even behaving this conversation unless unless you're trying to

(01:34:47):
hurt her as much as you feelhurt, and you're really not trying.
You're you're not aiming to solve aproblem, right, correct that part?
Right? Hey man, I lostme on that one. I'm sorry.
I don't know. I don't beon being that type of stuff. It
sounds like revenge to me. Ilost. Yeah, that's exactly what the

(01:35:10):
fuck it is. You embarrassed me. I'm about to embarrass you. Tag
you with bitch, it's your turn. What's going on? Yeah? Okay,
yep, but this is what i'dbe saying about that light skin shit.
You see what I'm saying. Wegotta you don't. You're good,

(01:35:35):
You're good. You got a brownskin tendency. I you you're good,
you're good. But I'm telling you, these light skinned brothers had you fighting
them like literally, they will makeyou square up with them. And I
don't think no woman should put theirhands on the man. That's not what
I'm saying. But I'm saying,a light skinned dude, this they had

(01:36:00):
you do it. They on somethingdifferent. I don't know what it is.
You know what I'm saying. I'msure they carry wipes and they wipe
from front today. You know whatI'm saying. All right, I'm sure
they're moist all the time. Youknow the type of way about this was,

(01:36:20):
Brocause like I got wipes about thetoilet talking about you feel the type
because I like to be boys.Got damn you don't like to I'm not
talking about you, bro, butI feel cut though, right, I'm

(01:36:44):
sorry. I'm sorry. Let mesend a first a kid, my brother.
I'm sorry. It's not my intention. Got thinking about it. And
my light skin, so very lightskin. Ain't man, lotion don't work
on me, bro I got Ifigure. I feel that's that's that's the
only reason that he's vacine shade butter. Shade butter is a good one too.

(01:37:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Smell that good.
That raw shade butter. Don't smellthat good, though. You gotta put
like some goddamn musk on top ofthat ship something. That shit is kind
of still steal still smell. Idon't like that. I feel you mix
it with some coconut oil. Ifeel you. But I'm just saying,
though. You know, he wasover there crying. We know he was.

(01:37:32):
We had a box of tissue forshow and he was like, man,
I'm about to get this. Fuckthis man. He was over there
looking like that and shit, andit's just like, doll stop it.
Yeah, I just you know,we need to really think about how we're

(01:37:54):
trying to address issues and really arewe Are we trying to solve problems?
Are we trying to men hurt?Hearts? Or what are we doing?
You know, if this is justabout Okay, I'm hurt, I want
everybody around me to be hurt,then say that. But if we're if

(01:38:15):
we're actually you know, we're doingthis Black Love group chat, we're talking
about addressing some issues and things.But but what are the solutions are?
What are we doing wrong each ofus men and women? You know,
what can we do better? AndI don't think just putting on a baggy

(01:38:38):
dress is going to resolve the issueshere. But say to say, you
know, look, men got tocontrol. The men got to control they
lust to We can't just be outthere jumping at everything that got some curves.
I agree with that, and whatI'm saying that as far as accountability
goes, everybody has to have theirown level of discipline. And when it

(01:39:00):
comes to these relationships we talk aboutin general, right, as far as
you know, women gonna do whatthe people gonna do what they want do.
Let's just say people. People gonnado what they want to do.
But as I said, it allfalls upon a discipline of that person.
I'm gonna say, man, forthe sake of accountability, I shouldn't be
looking at every woman that walks buyingsomething with some skin showing. I shouldn't

(01:39:20):
be doing anything like that, andI shouldn't be trying to jump on them.
You know, I should have morecontrol. Nah, I don't know
what they look. I don't know. Look. Look. The more the
more that you can, the morethat you build up that muscle to not
look, the more that your judgmentor your opinion can actually matter in the
point, because if you're somebody who'sup here like looking and all this other

(01:39:43):
stuff, then what can you reallysay about somebody else who's doing the same
thing. Maybe they're actually carrying outthe action you're thinking about. What can
you say about that though? You'rejust you have to put that standard up.
You have to put that discipline thereto say nah, that's that's not
how we rock it overre in orderfor you to have a true judgment or
a true pat That's what I think. I think we that all or nothing

(01:40:05):
thing is problematic. It's kind oflike when you go on a diet,
you cut everything out, you dowell for about two weeks, next two
weeks you're eating every fucking thing insight. I think we have to have
balance. I think it's okay tolook look, keep your hands to yourself.
Does look men, you gotta grabyou gotta have a fistful ass because

(01:40:27):
you're looking like I don't. Thisis that how it worked with men?
Like do you if you look forlike over two minutes, you're gonna grab
her ass? Then if that is, if that's what it is, then
don't look as a conquerors. Asmen, we conquer. We do just
what we do. Right if youallow now, I think this is with

(01:40:48):
anybody personally, human beings in general, we'll just say men. But if
you allow anyone to put a thoughtin their mind and harp upon that,
that yates the probability for that actualthought to be played out. Right.
So let's say you're somebody this iswhy the Bible says, guard your guard

(01:41:10):
your heart, right, god whatcomes in. Let's say you're somebody you
don't deal with, You don't dealwith swinging, right, but you decide
one day that you're gonna go toa swingersh club with your friend, and
you end up going every weekend,every weekend. Every weekend. You're like,
it's not my thing, but I'mjust looking. I'm not about to

(01:41:30):
do no, I'm just looking.One weekend that look and that thought is
gonna turn into you know what,I might as gonna see what it's like.
I mean, I'm here, Imight as well at least feel it,
see see you know what I mean. Then that's gonna turn into oh
shit, I kind of like it. Then that's gonna turn into something that's
gonna wreck the entire foundation of whatyou all have. I personally believe if

(01:41:53):
you allow someone to be like youknow what, you can look as much
as you like, do as muchas you like, eventually to the point
not everybody, but the majority ofpeople would eventually put a toe past that
boundary to see how far past theycan go. I mean, I just
I think we don't trust ourselves whenwe don't trust nobody else. Because what

(01:42:13):
you're talking about I totally understand,because that's you're in an environment. What
I'm talking about is you simply youwalking into Walmart, you see big booty
Judy walk by, and you look, fucking look, I might look.
Shit. I mean, who's whocan't see that? Ass? I see
it? You see it. We'renot gonna act like we don't see it,
right, you know what I'm saying? So that's okay to Look,

(01:42:35):
that doesn't mean that you're gonna gograb it, but yeah, putting yourself
in environments, yes, a lotof issues come about because we don't mind
our business. And when you don'tmind your business, you get into trouble.
And I know this because I gotpeople in my family. They can't
mind their business and they stay introuble. So it's a minding your business

(01:43:00):
shoot. But yeah, looking andstuff. I think we just gotta have
balance, you know what I'm saying. We gotta have balance, and we've
gotta stop feeling so shameful for thingsthat are natural, you know it.
I mean it just all across theboard from our emotions everything like oh boy
didn't tell the truth when he triedto get back at Kiki because he didn't

(01:43:23):
think his truth was gonna be acceptedand it backfired on him. Just be
real or shut the fuck up.We got a hard time being real with
ourselves, sitting with ourselves and beingreal about what's even going on. A
lot of times, even in relationshipswere what were arguing about is not what

(01:43:45):
we arguing about. It's some otherstuff that we're not gonna say because often
we feel like it's not gonna beheard, it's gonna be judged, it's
gonna turn into a whole nother thingwe don't want to deal with. We
gotta be able to have conversations andbe able to receive what the person is
saying and not take it personal andget angry with them. If we could

(01:44:08):
just communicate freely, I think thatwill help us too. But we can.
I mean, but even in communicatingfreely, there's still gonna be a
point at which a certain standard ora compromise comes at player. I agree
with opasification and free communication, butit's still it's still gonna have to boil
down to whether that compromise comes comesinto players. So, I mean,

(01:44:30):
I I don't know, I know, I know everyone I know. I
know we're saying that point. Wepoint the finger at each other, we're
hard on each other. It needsto be a balanced It's like, I
understand that, But when we allreally think about it, everybody has everybody
has a breaking point, right,And I don't want to make things absolute

(01:44:53):
or anything, but nowadays most peopledon't start to react until someone is touching
their breaking right, you know whatI mean. That's that's when it starts.
That's when I'm all, that's whenthe waves gets to just coming in
and whatnot of just a whole bunchof things that kind of the point in
the figure projecting whatever it may be. I just I just believe that overall

(01:45:18):
it has to be let me saythis. I know earlier I said it's
the fact that we deal with self, but like without thinking about the whole
is an issue. But if wecan bring ourselves to think about what we're
doing and how it affects the whole, then I think we'll be able to

(01:45:39):
actually have or begin that conversation thattruly gets us to the points where we
can have a community. Because untilpeople, like Tiffany said it, are
accountable to themselves, not just toman or woman or whatever, not to
people, are accountable to themselves,then we can actually get to that that

(01:46:00):
true hole in that community. That'sI I don't know, I feel you're
coming from. I feel you're comingfrom a rock. I just think I
just think as much as as muchas we would love to be able to
give that leeway of that balance andhave that you know, you know,
that sort of being comfortable in reality, like it just kind of is what

(01:46:24):
it is. I don't really thinkthings are. I don't believe in that
is what it is. It iswhat you create if you decide to allow
something to be like, hey,look, if you want to look,
you can look at the big bootof judy. If that's what you decide,
that's what you create. I personallybelieve. Yeah, you can't deny
that there's a big boot of judyround. Yeah, we can't deny that.

(01:46:45):
But can I make the decision onwhether or not I'm gonna look over
and be like, damn a versusbeing like I mean, clearly, I
see it, but I'm about togo by, about to go by my
way, you know, so Imean it. You know, like you
all say, everybody has their ownstandard, but when it all boils down
accountability to one's own self into yourown personal standard. Until we focus on

(01:47:12):
that and actually dealing with ourselves,as Tiffany says, how people are healing,
then we're not gonna be able toreally make it to that point of
where you are right to where peoplecan comfortably say look like you say,
trust now, mind you when I'msaying that, I'm saying, look,
I'm not saying being ignorant though,Like dude, you are family. You

(01:47:33):
ain't gotta that's ignorant. You knowwhat I'm saying, Well, would you
mean by look? Then would youyou mean like a bait? Look at
that fat ass? And then we'reabout to keep waking. I'm just saying,
like, you know, if youlook, I'm not about to hit
you upside your head. Okay,you know what I'm saying that type of
thing. Okay, Okay. Thething we have to have balance and everything

(01:47:54):
we do, but it doesn't necessarilyhave to be let me put the horse
blinders all I don't want to andall that and breaking into a sweat like
it's just you know, it's it'sone thing to notice, it's another thing
to cling to, Right, youcan something you don't have to cling to

(01:48:15):
it, and you also don't haveto, you know, fight it and
act like you don't see what's goingon either, right terms of just that,
that's self discipline, you know,and and making that conscious choice to

(01:48:35):
say, yeah, I notice it'sin my peripheral, but I'm not gonna
necessarily give that any attention, youknow. I also think at the point
I wanted to mention earlier is thatwe have to keep in mind that we
can influence one another. We cannotcontrol each other, though, and I

(01:48:59):
think that is is a big issuein relationships. Sometimes we try to police
each other, we try to controleach other. The topic of possession came
into play earlier, and those arethat's problematic in a relationship. I mean,
we have to understand our influence.But also we we can't pretend like

(01:49:25):
we can control what people do anddo not do. Can I ask a
question? You said the topic ofpossession is problematic? No, we were
so you did? I mentioned earlierhe used to be possessive. Oh okay,
yeah, okay, and so soall right, so we are we

(01:49:57):
saying like possessive as in like anex this right? He was saying how
he used to be possessive. Nowlet me let me say, let me
say sorry, my my daughter,it's gonna be it. And now let
me let me say I was IWhen I say I was possessive, I
used to believe that my spouse ormy person was the responsibility of mine,

(01:50:24):
not even though I did not thinkthat was wrong. I used to believe
that you're supposed to work together likethat. In today's world, I am
no longer possessive. I'm not aboutto clean to anybody or any woman from
this generation because that's it's not it'snot healthy. Can I ask you,
Can I ask you a question?Your dad was she? Did she happen

(01:50:45):
to be of the African American persuasion? Yes, sir, that that's the
that was the problem. I mean, I hate to say it like that,
that but that that that was theproblem. But you I think let's
ask the question like this. Doesdo you think that the Hispanic woman belongs

(01:51:06):
to the Hispanic man? Yes,definitely, the Arab woman. Do you
think she belongs to the Arab man? What about the Chinese woman? You
think she belongs to the Chinese man? What about the white woman to the
white man? And you know what, yep, yeah yeah. What about

(01:51:27):
what about the black man? Theblack woman belonged to the black man?
The black man don't even belong tothe black man. We just we just
talked. We just talked about thewoman. Does the black woman belongs Does
she belong to the black man?No? She doesn't act she doesn't even
act like thank thank you. That'sthe point. That's the that's the point.

(01:51:47):
She'll go get that bag and sheyou know what, you know what's
funny, you know what's funny.So let's just say I'm a man who
likes the woman in a dress notpushing forward. It's not a big deal,
but too okay, So I'll saythis, A woman, if she's
getting paid, will throw on adress every day that will clock in.

(01:52:08):
But man will be like baby throwinga dress. I want to wear these
pans. Why I can't do this. I can't do this like baby,
just throwing a dress. That's whyI made the video that said, fellas,
we might as well just an employee, you know, white, because
we know they're gonna act right forthe paycheck. Like just like that.

(01:52:28):
I like that. I like that. How much it's gonna cost for you
for you to to fucking act right. But but but the point that I'm
trying to that I was just tryingto make was that being possessive. I
think that it's made the connotation ofit being negative. Obviously. Sure,
you know, you do have individualswho are possessive and and and you know

(01:52:51):
our harm for and abusive, butI don't think that's most cases. I
just think that you know, possessiveand nartar, not gonna, you know,
whatever to call it. Narcissistic,Yeah, narcissistic. And the other
stuff that they put is anytime thatthere's a man who has standards and boundaries

(01:53:11):
that he expects want me to buyby, and then he gets cast with
this whole being possessive things. So, you know, and I think that
goes to Roquel's point earlier of gaslighting. You know, just made to believe
that what you believe is incorrect.And I hate to see people like yourself,
who you know, do have atleast a moral compass, even in

(01:53:33):
the Bible or even in the Karan, but it's made to feel as though
that you're bizarre, you're doing somethingwrong because the community that that behavior is
being aimed at it is so adjacentto that type of tulage. So,
you know, I just think thatthe problem is not what we what we've

(01:53:56):
been told is and finally, forthe first time ever, that that there's
men or not in some cases womenwho are actually saying what the problem really
really is. I don't necessarily thinkthat the way that Kiki Palmer's boyfriend went
about it was correct, but thesentiment was shared by many like man minded

(01:54:17):
men. She is a mother.The expectation is that mothers are held in
a little bit higher regard than saya thought or a Sukiana or you know,
any woman who exhibits an overly sexualizedidea. And why does it have
to be our women all the time? That that's the point I think that

(01:54:42):
most men are getting to. We'reat the point of seeing a woman dressed
modestly. It's more of a turnon than you know what we saw,
you know, like it's it's like, damn, puts the clothes all there.
That's hurt me on. Yeah,yeah, let me let me you
know. And I think that that'swhere we're kind of getting into the point

(01:55:03):
of Okay, we're at the pointin our return we need to have uh
well, I think we're beyond conversation. We need to see some action.
And I think we are for themost part. I mean, I see
women of all races. It's setfor you're a big women. I will
say that Ye've seen women I usedto work in their born I've seen them

(01:55:27):
doing the same thing, showing skin. You just that they're not putting these
other women to the forefront so naturally, and because you know, we off
the chain too. So the thingabout it is and and I'm not I'm
just saying this as a general statement. Ignorance is always gonna be loud,
bold and proud, So you're alwaysgoing to see it more, even if

(01:55:50):
it's the minority, because how loud, bold and proud it comes through,
that doesn't mean that that's the majorityof the representation. You know what I'm
I don't hang around a lot ofbold women, so I don't know and
I don't and I don't know boldmen. So just from that alone,

(01:56:11):
I think things are okay. Youknow, but we are still having this
conversation because it's a lot of janklydysfunction going on. It's a lot of
ignorant shit going on. So we'regonna come back next week. We have
been rolling for one hour, fiftysix minutes and forty five seconds at this
point. This is the time thatyou would like subscribe and share. Please

(01:56:35):
feel free to let us know whatyou would like us to address. Please
throw your questions in here. Whateveryou're gonna do, though, look at
Black Jesus whever you go. Throwyour stuff in the comments, because you
are the show as well. Pleaseknow if you're seeing us and you're joining

(01:56:57):
it, and you feel like youhave something to say, and you would
like to join our panel. Theinformation is down below under this video and
the information box and you can signup. We would love to have you.
We can have up to ten people. We just asked that you turn
your damn mic off when you're nottalking. All right, y'all, see
y'all next week. We love you, thank you so much, and we're

(01:57:21):
out of here.

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Should a woman ask for her man's approval of her clothing?

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