January 17, 2024 • 7 mins
Roozbeh Khoshniat's journey through the complex world of ADHD and mental health challenges is both harrowing and inspiring. Rooz's story is a stark reminder of how misunderstood conditions can lead to life-altering consequences, yet also a testament to the power of transformation and redemption. Tune in to Search and Replace for an unflinching look at the struggles and triumphs of navigating life with ADHD and discover how one man's journey to the brink of despair becomes a beacon of hope for many.
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(00:00):
Support for the following podcast is providedby the user experience specialists at Johnson Taylor.
More information follows this episode. Thisepisode includes sensitive material concluding a description
of an attempted suicide nine eight eight. Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides twenty four
to seven free and confidential support viaFOAM or chat for people in distress to
(00:25):
get connected in the US file nineeight eight from any landline or mobile phone.
Their website is Suicide Prevention Lifeline dotorg. What if you're good at
your job but your boss decides thatthey just can't handle you anymore. I'm
Joe Taylor, Junior. This isSearch and Replace. The United States Centers
(00:51):
for Disease Control and Prevention estimate thatmore than nine percent of American children have
been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD. It's a condition that
we're still learning about, and it'sstill fairly new to scientists. The first
national study into ADHD was only conductedin nineteen ninety seven. Life coach Ruz
(01:12):
Kushniot says he now considers his ADHDa gift, but it didn't seem like
much of one when he was younger. I never got officially diagnosed. The
closest to the diagnosis that I thinkmy parents ever got me was when I
was around probably like fifteen or sixteen, that I was like really failing it.
Took me to a doctor. Doctorsaid he's gonna give me some man
(01:33):
that he was going to help meremember stuff and calm me down, and
I'm going to get good grades.But I remembered it called me down to
a point that I didn't have enoughtime to finish it because I was like
so chill. I relaxed right.My mother she was my kind of executive
function, making sure that I'm doingthe homework that I'm following through that I'm
like, you know, doing allthe work that I need to get done.
(01:57):
But I think in high school shegave up herself too. She's like,
I can't do this anymore, andthat's when everything sort of falling apart.
Ru's discovered he could navigate the educationalsystem by leaning on other aspects of
his personality, although his approach ledto some unexpected side effects. I managed
to graduate, pass through my bachelor'sand get two nbas back to back,
(02:21):
and corporate jobs were good. Iwas always a good presenter, good starter,
right, were like great sprinters,but when it comes to longevity,
I would always shoot myself in thefoot because not flexible, I'm not good
with planning. I was always playingcatch up. So either I would stay
at the company for a short amountof time and I had to flee,
(02:44):
or I would get burned out andI had to just leave. A lot
of people think with like, youknow, when you have ADHD, you're
not smart. No, actually youhave a different ability. You're very smart.
You're bright because you're using your othersenses, right, so you pick
up material in a different way,especially if it's interesting. A lot of
peop people think ADHD is about hyperactivityor you know, lack of attention.
(03:04):
It's not attention. If it's interesting, I'll sit there and do it for
four hours. Rue says that patternkept repeating with some dire consequences. In
two thousand ideas, I became suicidal. So it was either stay and deal
with being not understood with ADHD.Hr not understanding ADHD. I mean,
I was just I got burned outtwice, first at one of my companies
(03:28):
that I worked for. It's thefirst time in my life. The biggest
year that I had, I waslet go. And when they let me
go, they didn't say, ohit's because you're lazy or you don't know
what you're doing. It was thatyou're too much. We can't handle you.
You don't have some of the experiencethat we want, and we cannot
train you for that. I gota job right after that, and that
one honestly did not go that well. It only lasted a couple of months.
(03:50):
And that's the one that kind ofput me in the hospital with the
you know, suicidal thoughts and planningstuff like that. So when I fell
apart, I remember the last interviewI before I went to the hospital.
I went for a job interviewing guyslike why do you want to do this
job? I really don't know.I don't like my job. And he
looked at me and I'm like,you know what this was? It like
I'm done. Like that that wasthe clear moment, and I went to
(04:12):
a college to take a test,which I actually have done probably a long
time ago. The first category thatcame it was someone that wants to offer
help social worker, therapist, nurse, or a life coach. Now,
I'm not going to lie to youlike I want to like write there oh
my god, that's my calling.No, the first thing that I said,
I'm not going to go get anotherPhD or a master's, but little
(04:32):
by little because I sort of lookingfor a coach for myself. The journey
begoun as Rouse redefined his own missionas one of helping other people overcome their
own struggles. He found a pathto professional success that was surprisingly close to
home. My wife is a therapist, and there is a picture that she
paid for somebody drew. It's threeheads coming out of a swamp. I
(04:55):
looked at that and I was cryingbecause I was in the iop. I
said, I want somebody to helpme get out of that swamp. I
made my mission statement to help peopleas long as they're looking for help,
as many people as I can,so they don't have to suffer and go
through the dark moments that I went. When I get a client that tells
me they found a job, Igot a client that tells me like,
(05:16):
oh I passed a test. It'sa great feeling. Right. I do
my best. I'm like a GPS. I guide people as long as they
push a start button right, itfeels great. It's honestly the best feeling
that I can have is it's asatisfaction that I get today. Rus and
his wife work together, navigating clientsthrough a more traditional therapy program and then
(05:41):
into a coaching practice that helps themunderstand the strengths of their unique experiences.
Ruse notes that many of us,especially here in America, love to avoid
seeing a therapist for a variety ofreasons, but self help books and self
diagnosis aren't a replacement for working withtrained professionals. ADHD is not a lack
of knowledge and resources. We'll goread, We'll go and find it if
(06:08):
it's interesting. It's a performance challenge, right. Therapy and coaching is going
to help you. And again it'snot made for everybody. I understand.
I'm not going to push to advocatelike Elia, but it's something that you
need to. I mean, ifyou're taking the first step listening to these
shows and listening to a podcast andtried to learn from it, that's the
first step because it shows that you'reinterested. So you're taking the first step.
(06:30):
The next step is start to lookfor help, right and be okay
to be vulnerable because you've got togo out there and tell them what you're
not doing. So your coach andyour therapist can help. That's Ruse Kushniat
from Heal and Thrive Psychotherapy and Coachingin Laguna Hills, California. We've got
links to Rus and his work inour show notes and on our website at
(06:53):
Search and Replace dot Show. Today'sepisode was produced by Nicole Hubbard with help
from the entire podcast. I'm JoeTaylor Jr. This has been a podcast
taxi radio production support for Surge andReplaces provided by Johnson Taylor User Experience Specialists
(07:14):
serving media and technology companies that wanttheir websites to work. Learn more about
how top performing businesses eliminate barriers betweencustomers and their goals at www dot Make
the website work for me dot com
Support for the following podcast is providedby the user experience specialists at Johnson Taylor.
More information follows this episode. Thisepisode includes sensitive material concluding a description
of an attempted suicide nine eight eight. Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides twenty four
to seven free and confidential support viaFOAM or chat for people in distress to
(00:25):
get connected in the US file nineeight eight from any landline or mobile phone.
Their website is Suicide Prevention Lifeline dotorg. What if you're good at
your job but your boss decides thatthey just can't handle you anymore. I'm
Joe Taylor, Junior. This isSearch and Replace. The United States Centers
(00:51):
for Disease Control and Prevention estimate thatmore than nine percent of American children have
been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD. It's a condition that
we're still learning about, and it'sstill fairly new to scientists. The first
national study into ADHD was only conductedin nineteen ninety seven. Life coach Ruz
(01:12):
Kushniot says he now considers his ADHDa gift, but it didn't seem like
much of one when he was younger. I never got officially diagnosed. The
closest to the diagnosis that I thinkmy parents ever got me was when I
was around probably like fifteen or sixteen, that I was like really failing it.
Took me to a doctor. Doctorsaid he's gonna give me some man
(01:33):
that he was going to help meremember stuff and calm me down, and
I'm going to get good grades.But I remembered it called me down to
a point that I didn't have enoughtime to finish it because I was like
so chill. I relaxed right.My mother she was my kind of executive
function, making sure that I'm doingthe homework that I'm following through that I'm
like, you know, doing allthe work that I need to get done.
(01:57):
But I think in high school shegave up herself too. She's like,
I can't do this anymore, andthat's when everything sort of falling apart.
Ru's discovered he could navigate the educationalsystem by leaning on other aspects of
his personality, although his approach ledto some unexpected side effects. I managed
to graduate, pass through my bachelor'sand get two nbas back to back,
(02:21):
and corporate jobs were good. Iwas always a good presenter, good starter,
right, were like great sprinters,but when it comes to longevity,
I would always shoot myself in thefoot because not flexible, I'm not good
with planning. I was always playingcatch up. So either I would stay
at the company for a short amountof time and I had to flee,
(02:44):
or I would get burned out andI had to just leave. A lot
of people think with like, youknow, when you have ADHD, you're
not smart. No, actually youhave a different ability. You're very smart.
You're bright because you're using your othersenses, right, so you pick
up material in a different way,especially if it's interesting. A lot of
peop people think ADHD is about hyperactivityor you know, lack of attention.
(03:04):
It's not attention. If it's interesting, I'll sit there and do it for
four hours. Rue says that patternkept repeating with some dire consequences. In
two thousand ideas, I became suicidal. So it was either stay and deal
with being not understood with ADHD.Hr not understanding ADHD. I mean,
I was just I got burned outtwice, first at one of my companies
(03:28):
that I worked for. It's thefirst time in my life. The biggest
year that I had, I waslet go. And when they let me
go, they didn't say, ohit's because you're lazy or you don't know
what you're doing. It was thatyou're too much. We can't handle you.
You don't have some of the experiencethat we want, and we cannot
train you for that. I gota job right after that, and that
one honestly did not go that well. It only lasted a couple of months.
(03:50):
And that's the one that kind ofput me in the hospital with the
you know, suicidal thoughts and planningstuff like that. So when I fell
apart, I remember the last interviewI before I went to the hospital.
I went for a job interviewing guyslike why do you want to do this
job? I really don't know.I don't like my job. And he
looked at me and I'm like,you know what this was? It like
I'm done. Like that that wasthe clear moment, and I went to
(04:12):
a college to take a test,which I actually have done probably a long
time ago. The first category thatcame it was someone that wants to offer
help social worker, therapist, nurse, or a life coach. Now,
I'm not going to lie to youlike I want to like write there oh
my god, that's my calling.No, the first thing that I said,
I'm not going to go get anotherPhD or a master's, but little
(04:32):
by little because I sort of lookingfor a coach for myself. The journey
begoun as Rouse redefined his own missionas one of helping other people overcome their
own struggles. He found a pathto professional success that was surprisingly close to
home. My wife is a therapist, and there is a picture that she
paid for somebody drew. It's threeheads coming out of a swamp. I
(04:55):
looked at that and I was cryingbecause I was in the iop. I
said, I want somebody to helpme get out of that swamp. I
made my mission statement to help peopleas long as they're looking for help,
as many people as I can,so they don't have to suffer and go
through the dark moments that I went. When I get a client that tells
me they found a job, Igot a client that tells me like,
(05:16):
oh I passed a test. It'sa great feeling. Right. I do
my best. I'm like a GPS. I guide people as long as they
push a start button right, itfeels great. It's honestly the best feeling
that I can have is it's asatisfaction that I get today. Rus and
his wife work together, navigating clientsthrough a more traditional therapy program and then
(05:41):
into a coaching practice that helps themunderstand the strengths of their unique experiences.
Ruse notes that many of us,especially here in America, love to avoid
seeing a therapist for a variety ofreasons, but self help books and self
diagnosis aren't a replacement for working withtrained professionals. ADHD is not a lack
of knowledge and resources. We'll goread, We'll go and find it if
(06:08):
it's interesting. It's a performance challenge, right. Therapy and coaching is going
to help you. And again it'snot made for everybody. I understand.
I'm not going to push to advocatelike Elia, but it's something that you
need to. I mean, ifyou're taking the first step listening to these
shows and listening to a podcast andtried to learn from it, that's the
first step because it shows that you'reinterested. So you're taking the first step.
(06:30):
The next step is start to lookfor help, right and be okay
to be vulnerable because you've got togo out there and tell them what you're
not doing. So your coach andyour therapist can help. That's Ruse Kushniat
from Heal and Thrive Psychotherapy and Coachingin Laguna Hills, California. We've got
links to Rus and his work inour show notes and on our website at
(06:53):
Search and Replace dot Show. Today'sepisode was produced by Nicole Hubbard with help
from the entire podcast. I'm JoeTaylor Jr. This has been a podcast
taxi radio production support for Surge andReplaces provided by Johnson Taylor User Experience Specialists
(07:14):
serving media and technology companies that wanttheir websites to work. Learn more about
how top performing businesses eliminate barriers betweencustomers and their goals at www dot Make
the website work for me dot com
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