April 22, 2025 • 9 mins
In this short 9 minute episode, Craig Perra, the founder of the Mindful Habit System, explores 'what causes porn addiction' and offers insights into its biological, psychological, cultural, and behavioral roots.
Drawing from over a decade of experience, Craig discusses how men are trained to use porn as a coping mechanism for unmet needs, poor coping strategies, low self-esteem, shame, and secrets.
He argues that porn addiction stems from repetitive patterns and conditioned responses formed early in life and emphasizes the importance of retraining the brain to create and sustain healthy sexuality.
Craig sheds light on the underlying mental health issues often linked to porn addiction and stresses the need for holistic treatment beyond traditional approaches. Tune in to learn how to take back control and harness your sexual energy for a better life.
visit www.mindfulhabithelp.com
Drawing from over a decade of experience, Craig discusses how men are trained to use porn as a coping mechanism for unmet needs, poor coping strategies, low self-esteem, shame, and secrets.
He argues that porn addiction stems from repetitive patterns and conditioned responses formed early in life and emphasizes the importance of retraining the brain to create and sustain healthy sexuality.
Craig sheds light on the underlying mental health issues often linked to porn addiction and stresses the need for holistic treatment beyond traditional approaches. Tune in to learn how to take back control and harness your sexual energy for a better life.
visit www.mindfulhabithelp.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So what causes porn addiction one simple word. Training. The
porn addict was trained, trained to use pleasure, to escape discomfort,
train to lie, train to hide, train to live and shame.
And we're going to get into it today. I'm Craig
(00:20):
Para and for over the past decade, I've been retraining
men to create and sustain healthy sexuality. I'm in Great Lives.
I'm the founder of the Mindful Habit system of training
that's literally changed the lives of thousands of men from
thirty countries all over the world. And if you're struggling
with sex or porn addiction and you're wondering why do
(00:44):
I do what I do? What caused this? And if
you're a partner, I'm wondering how you got here? I
hope you find this video. I'm very valuable because I'm
going to break down what actually causes porn addiction biologically, psychologically, culturally,
and behaviorally. And I hope to reframe the entire thing
(01:08):
for you, because this is not just about sex, porn
or masturbation. At a deeper level, it's about unmet needs,
poor coping strategies, low self esteem, shame, secrets, and how
boys grow into men without ever learning how to meet
(01:28):
their needs proactively. What do we do We stuff them
down so their needs get met reactively the way they
were trained. And when I say training, I'm talking about
repeated patterns, condition responses burned into the nervous system. And
just like you train yourself to juggle a soccer ball
(01:51):
or to play an instrument, your environment trains your brain,
embodying every thought, every reaction is a train condition response.
We are habit machines and that's a perfect place to
start with biology. Fact, men are more susceptible to porn addiction. First,
(02:14):
men are biologically wired for variety, not a bug, but
a feature. Men are more visually stimulated. They tend to
have higher libidos than women. Now that's not an excuse.
That's looking at the biology, and certainly biology is not destiny.
It's just one piece of the puzzle. The second piece
(02:35):
is environment, and here's where things get real. As boys,
we learn that pleasure was a way to escape pain,
that porn, masturbation and orgasm was a release, a reward.
And on top of that, we didn't learn to process emotions.
What do we do We stuff them down and numb
(02:58):
them and guess what. It works really well to numb
emotions and to create that puff of validation or significance
aka dopamine, porn, masturbation, and sexual fantasy. We also learned
that sex equal significance, at equals conquest, it equals worth,
(03:19):
and we saw that in porn. Porn was like a
security blanket. And so you have this powerful life creating,
pleasure creating and connecting force growing in a young boy.
And is it being talked about? Well, if it is,
it's being shamed and demonized. I learned the Catholic way.
(03:41):
Sex is dirty and disgusting and you save it for
someone you love, or it wasn't being talked about at all.
We knew, right men, We knew that we had to
keep it secret. So we hit it and the hiding
became part of the experience. The lying started early, the
secret started early, the shit started early, the training started early.
(04:09):
And this is before we even get to mention trauma,
physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, sexual abuse. Well, guess what, guys,
that impacts us too. But what do we do? We
stuff it down because shit happens. So all of these
traumas or that word again, training cause porn addiction. What
(04:35):
wires together fires together in the training sticks and to
make it even more challenging. As a result of the training,
the conditioning in childhood, and the person's biology, the porn
addict often struggles with deeper, underlying, more serious mental health
issues like depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsion disorder, I'M, narcissistic tendencies,
(05:03):
bipolar disorder add ADHD, and more. The more severe the addiction,
the deeper the wound. The deeper the wound, the greater
the chance that there are more underlying mental health issues
that needs to be addressed. That's one of the biggest
failures of traditional porn addiction treatment. The porn consumes all
(05:26):
of the oxygen in the treatment room, and the root
causes the training in the retraining, well, those get ignored.
They can't be ignored because this isn't just a sexual issue.
In fact, it is not primarily a sexual issue. On
top of the other factors and contributors that cause porn addiction, Well,
(05:49):
what else causes it? Someone in a high stress job,
someone who's not taking care of themselves and getting poor
sleep and have a terrible diet, someone with severe marital conflict,
and what happens. Many guys use this conflict as a
justification for keeping the sexual secrets, and that obviously has
(06:11):
a huge impact on the relationship. Sometimes there's a partner
with a lower sex drive, and so often there's a
lack of purpose and someone with no healthy hobbies. All
of these increase the drive to numb, cope, and escape,
and these patterns reinforce the training over and over again.
(06:35):
And that's really the good news because just like the
porn addict was trained, he can be retrained, retrained to
live a life of integrity, strength, courage, and wisdom. Train
to learn from his mistakes, to not react, to have purpose,
(06:56):
to prioritize relationships, and what's important, to honor and respect legacy.
And while the causes of porn addiction are complex and
the solution can be also complex, but allow me to
simplify it for purposes of this video and share with
you a truth that has been near and dear to
(07:16):
my heart from my lowest of the lows fifteen years ago.
I'll never forget when it finally clicked in my head.
The cure for sex addiction and porn addiction. It is
the aggressive pursuit of a great life It is not avoidance,
not shame, not just stop it, just say no. Admitting
(07:37):
your powerless important step, not just talking about your feelings.
It is a retraining of your mind, body, and spirit.
It is a rewiring of your nervous system. It is
a system of self leadership, self control, and healthy sexuality.
And that's what we teach here at the Mindful Habit
(07:58):
because that's the only that works. So if you're living
a double life, if you're tired of hiding, remember this.
You weren't broken, you were trained, and now it's time
to retrain. So subscribe like comment, let's blow shame out
of the water and build a better conversation. Tell me
(08:19):
in the comments, what's one thing that you were trained
to do that no longer serve you. And if you're
at a place in your life where you need to
kick recovery into high gear, visit mindfulhabitthelp dot com. Check
out the free training, learn about our different programs, listen
to other podcast episodes and YouTube videos. Welcome to the
(08:43):
new sexual revolution, where men are taking back control, where
men learn that their sexual energy is powerful. Say it
with me, And with great power comes great responsibility. And
I'm Craig Parron, this is a great privilege an honor
to help you wield that power into creating and sustaining
(09:04):
a great life. I am privileged to have you on
my journey. Thank you for watching, and I'll see you
in the next video. Bye.
So what causes porn addiction one simple word. Training. The
porn addict was trained, trained to use pleasure, to escape discomfort,
train to lie, train to hide, train to live and shame.
And we're going to get into it today. I'm Craig
(00:20):
Para and for over the past decade, I've been retraining
men to create and sustain healthy sexuality. I'm in Great Lives.
I'm the founder of the Mindful Habit system of training
that's literally changed the lives of thousands of men from
thirty countries all over the world. And if you're struggling
with sex or porn addiction and you're wondering why do
(00:44):
I do what I do? What caused this? And if
you're a partner, I'm wondering how you got here? I
hope you find this video. I'm very valuable because I'm
going to break down what actually causes porn addiction biologically, psychologically, culturally,
and behaviorally. And I hope to reframe the entire thing
(01:08):
for you, because this is not just about sex, porn
or masturbation. At a deeper level, it's about unmet needs,
poor coping strategies, low self esteem, shame, secrets, and how
boys grow into men without ever learning how to meet
(01:28):
their needs proactively. What do we do We stuff them
down so their needs get met reactively the way they
were trained. And when I say training, I'm talking about
repeated patterns, condition responses burned into the nervous system. And
just like you train yourself to juggle a soccer ball
(01:51):
or to play an instrument, your environment trains your brain,
embodying every thought, every reaction is a train condition response.
We are habit machines and that's a perfect place to
start with biology. Fact, men are more susceptible to porn addiction. First,
(02:14):
men are biologically wired for variety, not a bug, but
a feature. Men are more visually stimulated. They tend to
have higher libidos than women. Now that's not an excuse.
That's looking at the biology, and certainly biology is not destiny.
It's just one piece of the puzzle. The second piece
(02:35):
is environment, and here's where things get real. As boys,
we learn that pleasure was a way to escape pain,
that porn, masturbation and orgasm was a release, a reward.
And on top of that, we didn't learn to process emotions.
What do we do We stuff them down and numb
(02:58):
them and guess what. It works really well to numb
emotions and to create that puff of validation or significance
aka dopamine, porn, masturbation, and sexual fantasy. We also learned
that sex equal significance, at equals conquest, it equals worth,
(03:19):
and we saw that in porn. Porn was like a
security blanket. And so you have this powerful life creating,
pleasure creating and connecting force growing in a young boy.
And is it being talked about? Well, if it is,
it's being shamed and demonized. I learned the Catholic way.
(03:41):
Sex is dirty and disgusting and you save it for
someone you love, or it wasn't being talked about at all.
We knew, right men, We knew that we had to
keep it secret. So we hit it and the hiding
became part of the experience. The lying started early, the
secret started early, the shit started early, the training started early.
(04:09):
And this is before we even get to mention trauma,
physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, sexual abuse. Well, guess what, guys,
that impacts us too. But what do we do? We
stuff it down because shit happens. So all of these
traumas or that word again, training cause porn addiction. What
(04:35):
wires together fires together in the training sticks and to
make it even more challenging. As a result of the training,
the conditioning in childhood, and the person's biology, the porn
addict often struggles with deeper, underlying, more serious mental health
issues like depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsion disorder, I'M, narcissistic tendencies,
(05:03):
bipolar disorder add ADHD, and more. The more severe the addiction,
the deeper the wound. The deeper the wound, the greater
the chance that there are more underlying mental health issues
that needs to be addressed. That's one of the biggest
failures of traditional porn addiction treatment. The porn consumes all
(05:26):
of the oxygen in the treatment room, and the root
causes the training in the retraining, well, those get ignored.
They can't be ignored because this isn't just a sexual issue.
In fact, it is not primarily a sexual issue. On
top of the other factors and contributors that cause porn addiction, Well,
(05:49):
what else causes it? Someone in a high stress job,
someone who's not taking care of themselves and getting poor
sleep and have a terrible diet, someone with severe marital conflict,
and what happens. Many guys use this conflict as a
justification for keeping the sexual secrets, and that obviously has
(06:11):
a huge impact on the relationship. Sometimes there's a partner
with a lower sex drive, and so often there's a
lack of purpose and someone with no healthy hobbies. All
of these increase the drive to numb, cope, and escape,
and these patterns reinforce the training over and over again.
(06:35):
And that's really the good news because just like the
porn addict was trained, he can be retrained, retrained to
live a life of integrity, strength, courage, and wisdom. Train
to learn from his mistakes, to not react, to have purpose,
(06:56):
to prioritize relationships, and what's important, to honor and respect legacy.
And while the causes of porn addiction are complex and
the solution can be also complex, but allow me to
simplify it for purposes of this video and share with
you a truth that has been near and dear to
(07:16):
my heart from my lowest of the lows fifteen years ago.
I'll never forget when it finally clicked in my head.
The cure for sex addiction and porn addiction. It is
the aggressive pursuit of a great life It is not avoidance,
not shame, not just stop it, just say no. Admitting
(07:37):
your powerless important step, not just talking about your feelings.
It is a retraining of your mind, body, and spirit.
It is a rewiring of your nervous system. It is
a system of self leadership, self control, and healthy sexuality.
And that's what we teach here at the Mindful Habit
(07:58):
because that's the only that works. So if you're living
a double life, if you're tired of hiding, remember this.
You weren't broken, you were trained, and now it's time
to retrain. So subscribe like comment, let's blow shame out
of the water and build a better conversation. Tell me
(08:19):
in the comments, what's one thing that you were trained
to do that no longer serve you. And if you're
at a place in your life where you need to
kick recovery into high gear, visit mindfulhabitthelp dot com. Check
out the free training, learn about our different programs, listen
to other podcast episodes and YouTube videos. Welcome to the
(08:43):
new sexual revolution, where men are taking back control, where
men learn that their sexual energy is powerful. Say it
with me, And with great power comes great responsibility. And
I'm Craig Parron, this is a great privilege an honor
to help you wield that power into creating and sustaining
(09:04):
a great life. I am privileged to have you on
my journey. Thank you for watching, and I'll see you
in the next video. Bye.
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