Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
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yeah, I'm wearing nine right now. Who navigating too small town USA shool
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walkers? For months? Are weget? Well? Hello, Jessica Garlin.
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Well, it's October. Yes,it's October. It's October, and
uh it's everybody has already got theirChristmas stuff out. But I'm not.
I'm gonna not celebrate October. Yeah, yeah, I can't. I don't
know there's something about it where Ihaven't had my false step stuff kind of
like up enough to be able toswitch it to Christmas, like part of
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me west to celebrate. I know, on the my back of my head,
I'm going to celebrate Christmas, youknow, as early as I can.
But I also really love the pumpkinsstuff, you know. I love
pumpkins. I love that fall andthe smells you know those My favorite is
like a pumpkin pecan waffle smell.Have you ever smelled that one before?
No, that's very specific. It'sspecific, but it's really good. I
(03:21):
you should smell me right now.I smell delicious. I smell like a
lemon tree, like the best partof a lemon tree, the best part
of it. What's the best partof the lemon? Yeah? Okay,
yeah, But speaking of smells,did you ever hear about the fart that
killed like ten thousand people? No? I don't even understand. That's top
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that's possible. I you know,I know about the person who had the
runs on the airplane that I oh, yeah, they had the land the
airplane recently because it was somebody whocouldn't make it down to the bathroom and
it was all down the God truestory. Look it up. That's a
recent headline, I think, withinthe last month or two. Yeah.
(04:08):
Well, this, this story thatI'm going to tell you about was twenty
five hundred years ago. Oh okay, okay, yeah, okay. Flavius
Josephus chronicled this history of the Jewishwar against the Romans in his book War
of the Jews. It was publishedin seventy five a d which you know
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probably was a top seller, butyou know it was. It's like this
book and one other one possibly.I mean, who was held latching these
books? And did they have tohand write that all of them? They
did, didn't They they did whenthe yeah, the press didn't wasn't existing
until a long time after that.So, yeah, you're right. So
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here's just one of the stories chronicledin the book. In Jerusalem, between
six hundred and five hundred BC,a cohort of heavily armed Roman soldiers were
guarding a temple during the celebration ofPassover. One of the Roman soldiers they
kept they kept control of these sortof festivals just to keep control over the
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Jewish people, you know, thosedang soldiers. But according to people that
lived, and in the book,one of the soldiers touted during the prayer,
and it wasn't just a fart.He took off his armor, aimed
his behind towards the people who werepraying, and let her rip and it
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was so disturbing that it caused seriousupheaval and it caused a riot. That's
the fart that broke the camels backand they rioted, and yeah, so
a bunch of people died. Okay, I'm not laughing about the bunch of
people dying, but you know,obviously parting in someone's face would probably be
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disrespectful nowadays too. You know,I'm sure it is. It's not probably
mean, Yeah, for sure itis. But but yeah, that was
totally uncalled for. But the factthat he did that, I mean,
I just have to chuck a littlebit. I don't know, it's what
happened, was and it's not Imean, like, so they were they
were rioting, and there were somany people that they actually like squished people
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to death and people were like onthe ground being dropped on. Right,
you know, so sort of likedon't yell fire in a theater, right,
Yeah, you can't fart during Yeah, at least on purpose. Well
that's the difference there. It wasn'tjust like he let one out by accident,
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you know, Oh shoot, I'mgonna imagine superior about this one.
But he like took off his armorso that he could get a good a
good uh good breeze going in thegeneral direction. Aimed it at people,
aimed it. Yeah, it waslike an instrument of war for real.
Like, yes, for sure,I wonder what the armor was like do
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you think it was metal? Doyou think it was just leather? But
you can imagine how like hot affartwould be sticking in that. He wanted
it to be heard because it wasgoing to be covered up if he didn't
take off armor. He was like, I want everybody to hear this because
this is like you know, thisis it? This is serious. Yeah,
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like this is a serious gesture ofI don't know, but yeah.
So I never said if he gotkilled or not. But they were trying
to get him. They were tryingto get it. And you know,
how old do you think the soldierwas. He was probably fifteen tops,
you know, and that still isfunny to fifteen year old. It's like
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clearly fart humor has been around sincethe dawn of time. Yeah. Yeah,
that's the one thing you can broughtfrom this. You know, a
fart is funny part the word fartis funny. Yeah, yeah, everybody
does it first of all, likea lot of people, Well, yeah,
it's jin. Then you can smellyour own farts, Jessica. No.
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I meant like if you're like,if you're around people and you fart,
and you can either like go yeahthat was me, sorry everybody,
or you can you know, somepeople are like blames somebody else. I
can blame somebody else or kind oflike back away and just not say anything.
You're talking about silent ones, butwhat if you have one of those
ass rippers. That's just like Ithink at that point you have to you
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have to be like sorry, whatdo you say? Like, oh my
god, I had fish for lunch. It's always gross when somebody like labels
their parts or their belts. Wasjust like, oh have you ever walked
into a store and this happened theother day And it was at a grocery
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store. I was paying for mystuff. I didn't do it, but
there was a family in there,a wife, a husband, and a
little kid. They were a youngcouple. It was a silent but deadly
and she like smacked him and hewas like he just looked at me and
smiled like it was like he didn'tcare. It was a gross It was
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like a slap in the nose,just like a snapping towel filled with shit
in my nose. It was awful. And it was one of those like
fluey parts, you know, thekind that people get when they when they
have Yeah, it's just like thegrossest one. Yeah, stick in the
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air. My daughter I fear whenI shop with her because she does that
kind of stuff where she'd be like, Mom, do you smell that someone
farted? Wasn't me, I swear, but somebody farted and there's like tons
of people all around and like,sh it's okay, people fart. I
hate that ten thousand people lost theirlife over a fart. It was a
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long time ago, so I thinkthat we've were able to talk about it
now. Yeah, I think wecan safely discuss it without anybody's feelings getting
hurt. If anybody had family whodied in the riot of the fart,
you know, we're sorry for yourloss. We're sorry. Well, what
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is your stance on quieves. Ihate that name, but it's funny.
Quiefs is a funny name. Andmost of them you can't hold. I
mean, it's just literally like there'snothing you can do to hold at it.
There's no muscle that's locking that inplace. I don't think it's not
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for me. So if you're justturning in, Jessica was talking about holding
in queefs and her inability to musclethose back up into the abdomen area where
they belong. Who can do that? Okay, okay, let's move on.
Alright, alright, we're gonna moveinto some other horrifying facts, just
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a couple of weird ones that youmight not have actually heard about or smelled
some of them. Yeah. So, you know, we always say like
truth is scarier than fiction. Realityis always scarier than fiction because it could
happen. Yeah. Yeah, andif it did happen, it could happen
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again. I'm not so scared oflike the I don't know, the scary
movies with like Freddy Freddy Krueger thatI mean, of course, you could
have a crazy guy, but nobody'sgoing to have big old, you know,
fingers with flades. But the hillshave eyes. That's so yeah,
that still happens, right, that'sthe creepy crazy people like look at Jeffrey
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Dahmer. That was scary. Hejust lived down the street from people in
Milwaukee. About those that Wisconsin woods. So yeah, there's something about dark,
long, cold seasons. The PacificNorthwest is also filled with Yeah,
serial killers, serial killers and serialkiller stories. But there's a lot of
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real true scary stuff that's also justodd the oddities. Yeah, there's definitely
some that have come up in ourhistory. So the first one I want
to talk about is the Stanford prisonexperiment. A lot of people don't actually
know about this one. Carmen,do you know about the Stanford prison Experiment.
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I do know a little bit aboutit. I do. It was
about a professor who wanted proof thatpower corrupts people. So and it was
a very controversial experiment. I doubtthat they would be able to get by
with it now, but we alsoknow that power does corrupt people and people
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of all walks of life. Sothe social test was conducted in August of
nineteen seventy one. Student volunteers playedprisoners and some played prison authorities, and
the goal of the experiment was tostudy the effects of unchecked power in prison
guards. And like the fact thatthey're even doing a study is kind of
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crazy to me because we know thesemovies about prison guards doing unthinkable things to
people. That comes from reality,that's not all made up. So anyway,
he did this experiment and the professor'sname is Philip Zimbardo, which it's
a cool thing. So it quicklywent down here hill and started spiraling.
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So the guards students and the guardsin air quotes, they were veering into
psychological torture by enacting extreme majors.They were psychologically abusing and harassing the prisoners,
their student prisoners. The experiments methodologyis extremely contentious, so you know,
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people have really discredited the professor fordoing this. It was and it
was only like five days. Itwas only about five days that they were
in there, and within five daysthey were able to turn students into monsters,
students who like quickly dropped into somesort of mind warp that allowed them
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to psychologically and physically torture people.That's crazy because it's like they mostly you're
given this role to fill just tosee how things are going in how does
one go into that like mindset thefirst place where they're willingly wanting to do
harm, even if it was supposedto be fake, you know what I
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mean, like trying to get intothat mindset. But like something must have
happened, Like to me, therewas something evil initially or surrounding that experiment,
so evil became their spirit, youknow what I mean, Like there
was an evil spirit within that building, within that That's where I think,
Yeah, it's in prison. There'sa lot of bad stuff that was happening
there to begin with. Can itconsume you if you let it? I
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think so. Well, this iswhat's shocking to me is the amount of
time. So if this was youknow, over the course of years people's
mind probably And if you're isolated,that's the other thing when you're isolated.
But these people weren't isolated, andprison guards are not isolated. Prison guards
get to go the hell home everynight and with their families. Now I'm
not saying it's an easy job andI wouldn't want to do it. Also,
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there's like the mob mentality. Arethey all corrupt and mental or is
it like one? And then thecrowd just sort of becomes frenzied and starts
squishing people over a fart. Butthis was only like six days. Yeah,
that's that's weird. That's weird forsix five to six days in an
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environment, six days, like youcan six days, it is not even
a full week. And to beable to go from a college student with
your peers to becoming a torturer insix days, you know, that's something
you would expect over the course ofI don't know, years. Yeah.
Yeah, in this experiment, youhave to already kind of know that the
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answer is yes, you know whatI mean. Like, so a lot
of people, I think, goinginto that experiment, the students or whatever,
they are already knew the answer,what the answer should be, like
what they wanted it to be,or that you know, prisoners are a
lot of times abused and tortured andby the prison guards, and that yes,
power does make people abuse people,Like I don't know what the hypothesis
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there, but that's just like it'slike a common sense I think. So
I think because you know, theyalready knew that and they acted accordingly.
So they were like basically told,Okay, you're a prisoner. You're a
prisoner who's going to be abused oryou're a prison guard who is going to
be of power, and knowingly theyget to already think about the way they'll
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abuse that as somebody who's in poweralready skews that hypothesis, that's already skewed.
By the time they went into it, they knew what they knew what
they wanted to do, So they'reacting in the way that makes it wrong.
So that whole thing was probably justsome awful experience. It wasn't even
really detailed. It couldn't really eventake anything from it. I couldn't even
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imagine doing that. But I wouldhope as a human being it would take
me a lot longer to fall intothe depths of abusing. Right. If
there's already this kind of intent thereand there's something evil there, I think
it's easy to have that spirit orthat environment take over a person that's my
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So this wasn't the first time,though, and probably not the last time,
that they had conducted kind of wildexperiments on prisoners. It's seriously wrong.
We shouldn't, I think everybody nowadayswe don't experience on people. I
mean, come on, they do, though they still do. I think
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though they shouldn't experiment on people inprison unless they're in for white collar crimes.
That's where I stand on this.Moving on, Okay, So the
next thing we have is about awoman by the name of Octavia Hatcher.
She was actually from a small townin Kentucky named Pikeville. Karmin, have
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you heard about Octavia Hatcher? Thestory of Octavia Hatcher did, and it
shivered me, Timbers it shared you. I'm really glad I don't live many
years ago and that people understand medicalissues a little better nowadays, because let
me tell you, so, whathappened was and this is supposedly legend,
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but I think there's a lot ofstories that kind of have these same types
of legends. I guess in America. It states that there is a young
mom and she fell sick and passedaway a few months after she gave birth
to her son, who also diedshortly after she gave birth, and because
they were, you know, ina lot of southern heat, they buried
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her quickly. And after her death, however, there were other individuals that
started showing signs of the same thingthat she had. They recovered, so
she died, everybody else seemed tobe recovering from this. So I don't
know how to pronounce this, butthey think it was probably encephalitishsphalitis andcephalitis,
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which is an inflammation of your brainmembrane. Okay, okay, so something
is insane in the membrane. Becausethey realized that people were living, you
know, recovering from this, theydug up Hatcher's gray immediately because they realized
potentially she might have recovered. Andunfortunately, at that point when they dug
(20:41):
her up, they realized she infact did not die and that she had
actually got into a coma because ofthe encephalitis. She was dead because they
buried her alive. Isn't that awful? So they basically she woke up,
she realized she was she couldn't seeanything, and you probably came to the
realization what happened in her surroundings thatshe was trying to scratch her way out
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because there was her nails were bloodiedwhen they when they dug her up.
Most historians do agree that this actuallydid happen. So even though there's a
lot of stories out there about youknow, people being buried alive by accident,
this one historians are saying, like, yeah, this happened, that's
one of my biggest fears. WhenI see this depicted in movies or some
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of the psychological thriller shows that Iwatch, I get anxiety just seeing it
hat play out, you know,when the you know, how the camera
is like in the coffin or inthe ground and you just see the dirt
going over the face. Oh,yes, it's I start panicking because I
like, I can't even imagine it'snot to think of nobody being able to
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hear you being in a box tryingto dig your way out, but there's
no sense because you're in a woodenbox and you've got at least six feet
of dirt above you. I can'teven dust my house. How am I
going to move that much dirty?I know we used to have the cemetery
actually, and it had these bellsnext to the gravestones. Have you ever
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seen that before? Have you heardof that before? And this might be
I don't know if this is wherethe term came from, but for some
reason I feel like it's called likea dead ringer. I can't remember.
Dead ringer means something totally different,right, So I don't know AnyWho.
It's a string from back in acertain time period. Where they would put
all the way down into the coffinwhen they were burying an individual, and
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in the event that you got buriedby accident, you could pull the string
and it would ring the bell upon top by the grave and the grave
keeper would hear it. And Idon't know if it actually worked for anybody,
and that was like a method that'stotally creepy, but that yeah,
that actually was something that happened inthe past. And we had some cemeteries
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back where I lived that had thebells next to the gravestones. So I
don't know. That's what I'm thinkingabout this, like why where was the
bell like come on? So yeah, so they would I just looked this
up. They would tie the bellto a person's wrist. People would sit
in the cemetery and they would listen. So if the person started moving around
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in their coffin, they would dingthe bell. And that's where the terms
saved by the Bell. No,oh my gosh. Okay, so I
was right. It's not called deadringer, but it's saved by the bell.
It is dead ringer too, Okay, Saved by the bell. Saved
by the bell. The TV showand Zach that everybody watched. Speaking of
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bodies, there as another story aboutrecycling bodies. I love you don't know
about. So in the Napoleonic Wars, which is actually something that happened over
in Europe, not here. Notdynamite, not Napoleon dynamite. Well that's
the first Napoleon I think of theNapoleonic Wars costs. There were five of
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them, oh was there? Okay, okay, this one I think refers
to all of them, but specificallythe Battle of Waterloo. What happened is
there's about like two million soldiers thatlost their lives through all of the war.
Because you know, nowadays we respectthe fallen. You know, we
try to get the remains home tothe family members in one way shapeer another,
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or we get them to a burialground. We're supposed to be respectful
of fallen soldiers, right, Butthat wasn't always true. So back in
like the early nineteen hund nineteenth century, nineteen hundred, eighteen hundred and nineteenth
century, when this happened, theyactually you had too many people. They
don't know what to do with allof the fallen soldiers. Common practice was
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first of all, to loot thesoldiers, you know, and yeah,
yeah, find supplies, we needextra supplies. And you know, who
hasn't taken a canteen off a deadperson? And then but here's what we'll
get a little bit more weird isthat people would also go for teeth,
carrying out people's teeth, dead soldiers, teeth to use for densures because you
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know, they're expensive even nowadays,they're pretty expensive. So but yeah,
they would they would go in andthey would take the take the teeth out
of dead soldiers to use and recyclein dentures. So a lot of people
back then were wearing actual like bonein their in their mouth, human teeth,
human teeth. How did they keepthem in? I mean, I'm
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more concerned about the actual dentsures now, yeah, yeah, like why would
you put that in your milk?First of all? Yuck. So the
Battle of Waterloo was one of theworst ones in this and the densure market
really went up because of the battle, where you know products what actually became
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known as Waterloo Teeth. They weremarketing it as Waterloo Battle. You've got
some good densures from the Waterloo TeethCompany or whatever it was. What the
other option was to make them outof like wood. Yeah, I mean
I think they did make wooden teethway back when. And what else I
don't even know. I'm not sure. I mean I try and be a
(26:34):
little bit like sensitive because they're youknow, at the time, really,
what else could they do if youlost your teeth? I don't know.
Maybe it was it was probably commonpractice to probably eat a lot of put
somehow ground everything up so you canget it. Yeah, but okay,
so on tap of the teeth.There's another thing that came about this.
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Another thing that was kind of commonpractice at the time was that they absolutely
they also alluded for dead soldier bones, so ones that were already decomposed.
They would take the bones and theywould ground them up into dust to sell
to farmers. So basically like afertilizer. Almost. Yeah, so they
were so it was a good fertilizer. Eighteen twenty two, a British newspaper
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reported that human bone made for asubstantial manure and that it was good for
farmers of Yorkshire and they are indebtedto the bones of their children for their
daily bread. I don't know thatsounds really bad if it makes for a
good manure. That would mean they'refeeding it to livestock. Perhaps, Well
(27:40):
I don't know. I mean,I mean, because manure is shit,
let's be honest. Yeah, right, right, right, So there's not
so the translation. So so theywere using it to get supplement in the
supplements to the food of the livestock. You think, well, that's how
mad cow came about, not fromfeeding animals, but from feeding cow's cow
(28:02):
meet yeah, right, right,right, right, yeah, I mean,
I mean that's what it says,a substantial manure. So you know
who Abraham Lincoln is, right,I do. I'm thankful that I do.
Hopefully other people do too. Pleasethat we've all heard the horrible stories
about Abraham's wife being just like waycrazy world Abraham, you know, the
(28:26):
looker that he was dedicated family man, so he didn't leave her. But
so we're going to talk about hisassassination. Henry was a major. Nobody
even ever talks about him. Idon't ever remember hearing about this guy.
But he was at the theater withLincoln when John Wilkes Booth shot the president
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and Rathbone tried to subdue John WilkesBooth. His artery was severed in the
process. Oh, John came toplay. He did not come around just
to watch the play. He wascoming to do business. He had a
gun and a knife, apparently,and Rathbone survived, but he blamed himself
forever for Lincoln's death, and hespiraled into insanity. In December, December
(29:15):
twenty three, eighteen eighty three,he assaulted his own children. They were
probably asking for a lot of Christmaspresents because it was right before Christmas,
I would imagine anyway, he assaultedhis own children, and when his wife
intervened, he stabbed her and shother to death, before stabbing himself in
a failed attempt at his own life. When the police got there, they
(29:37):
found him deranged and bloody and sittingwith the corpse of his wife. He
was obviously declared insane, and theysent him to an asylum and his children
went to live with a relative,and we never heard anything more about it.
That's crazy. I mean, itis crazy, first of all,
but that sounds like, you know, nowadays, we would have help for
(30:00):
people going through that type of trauma. Interesting that I've never heard of this
story where there's actually somebody there.So my question is, like when he
was trying to subdue John Wilkes boothwas it? It was after he shot
the president. But I wonder ifthere were some like communication just before that,
like, oh, he picked upon it, because why would you
blame yourself for the death of Lincolnwhen you tried to subdue him after he
(30:26):
shot, Like, there's nothing unlessyou knew it was about to happen,
you know, maybe there was astruggle before. I don't know. To
me, that just doesn't click.It's not your fault. You try to
get him so that way, nothingworse happened too, right, so he
wasn't able to do any more shooting. You subdued him. Do you think
he was like a secret service person? Well, and that's his major,
(30:47):
Henry Rathborn, that's his name,Major, Henry rats a major. Obviously
he had probably his own weapons onhim. Major. But didn't they have
to Okay, so back in thattime, I'm sure they had to check
weapons at the door. They didn'thave metal tote. Oh no, seriously,
like old saloons and stuff like that. Yeah, they had to.
(31:10):
Yeah, and there's still places inlike Colorado where you have to check your
sidearm at the door before you gointo a tavern. Sure, but all
you have to do is just goget your gun at the door and then
wait outside for somebody. I mean, the laws are really stupid. But
maybe he was like the first thefirst secret Service or something like that,
(31:30):
because those guys freaked me out too. Who on earth is going to sign
up for a job that they haveto jump in front of a bullet?
Yeah? I love I love BillClinton, but I wouldn't take a bullet
for him, honestly, Like Ithink my daughter, Yes that I was
gonna say, you're gonna that person'smother better be the secret service person because
that's right, Like you know what, that wouldn't taking a bullet for sure,
(31:56):
right, Yeah, their mom anddad. That's basic service. President,
who is my secret service? Yeah, and that's why they should have
younger presidents whose parents are still alive. There you go. And also he
wants to mess with somebody's mom anddad exactly right, because if you like
shot and missed, they're gonna kickthe shit there. That MoMA is going
(32:22):
to come after you, you know, I think, Yeah, I think
we've solved a lot of problems today, Jessica. So we're gonna definitely have
younger presidents whose parents are still alive. I don't know. Yeah, I
think I think we should drop thisdown and send it in. As a
white House has a suggestion box,but I think I have a large,
(32:44):
a large suggestion box. Is itcalled the Senate? It should be ok,
but it doesn't go anywhere. Whatare your your biggest fears? We
know that being buried alive, fartingin public? Those are yours? So
being buried alive? Well yeah,like yeah, no, I mean yeah,
(33:05):
obviously I never want to get buriedalive, but like an everyday fear
of mine, oh player. Asa mom, I have a lot of
fears. I think I thought ofevery single thing that could ever happen at
any point, at any part ofthe day wherever you are, you know,
walking in somewhere, exactly what couldbe happening in that situation, and
you're ready for it. In today'sworld, you know, you think about
(33:27):
all of these things, like ifyou go into the target and you know
you're just like looking at toys andall of a sudden active shooter. Oh
yeah, yeah, you know thesescenarios play out in my head too.
And when my daughter was little,I you know, we didn't we didn't
fear active shooters as much because itwasn't happening as much, wasn't talked about.
I used to think about things likelice. But you know, like
(33:52):
like kidnapping was my Yeah, cannappy'sa bang on on on mine. Yeah,
cannap being and home invasion, liketo me, that's one that that
would be really scary. And ofcourse there's a lot of shows out there
depicting home invasion, and so yourbrain automatically goes, you know, you
get these ideas of what could happen, and like just in general, like
(34:14):
local things that have happened to childrenand you think, oh my gosh,
that was just down the road,how you know what in the world.
So those are all like mom fears. But when I talk about like just
my in general fears that I've had, I've always had a fear of car
crashes, like I don't know,and I've been through a couple last year.
Luckily they were you know, thecars were total but relatively speaking myself
(34:37):
and we were okay, and sowe're lucky. But you know, prior
to that, yeah, I wasalways afraid of getting in a car crash
and I still am, like tothe point where I drive, you know,
if I'm in a car, Igenerally am a little bit tent unless
I'm driving. And it's just inthe back of my brain all the time
about getting into parks, and Ihave a I have a major fear of
(34:58):
doing that, and I I alsohave a little bit of a fear of
flying a bit. I think anythingthat's uncontrolled, something that's just there's no
way I can control the situation,but it could happen because somebody else is
in control. Right, Oh mygod. That to me, that is
it's scary. And there's some irrationalfears I think that I have. And
(35:20):
one of those, when I waslittle, I had had nightmares and fears
about wolves, just wolves. Probablytalked about this before. I can't remember
in our last Halloween season, butI used to see a wolf with red
eyes like in my dreams, inmy house reflections, you know. I
used to just think that was somethingout there. We lived in the woods
in Michigan, you know, likedark cloud covered woods all the time.
(35:43):
We had animals, you know,and there are wolves in Michigan. So
it's I don't know what the premiseof it was. Why I always had
that fear wolves because now I thinkanimals are beautiful and wolves are beautiful,
and I'm not scared of wolves,but that nightmare is still scary to me.
That feeling of what I had wasn'tlike just your regular wolf. It
was like a nightmare wolf. Youknow. I had dreams of a devil
(36:05):
with red eyes when I was alittle That was always really scary, and
and you know, it kind ofgoes back to my theory that religion was
invented to control human beings. Andyou know, they tell you stories about
the devil in Sunday School to controllittle kids, like if you tell a
lot, you're going to hell.I had nightmares about it. I had
(36:27):
nightmares sometimes even as an adult.I closed my eyes and I'm like,
but you know, as an adult, you can wake up, you can
do other things. As a littlechild, you're you're almost paralyzed by that
fear, that freaking they're too afraidto get out of your bed and like
run into your parents room. Forus when I was a kid, because
it was like get back to yourroom and then the walk back. I
(36:50):
mean, anybody could have brabbed meall the way across the house. You
know, there's like that happened.But as far as like real spooky things,
I used to walk around in theforest at night when I lived in
California. I was never afraid ofanimals or anything like that. And I
stopped when I was in the middleof the forest. Well it was on
(37:12):
it was on Crest Forest Drive actuallyso but there's no street lights, there's
no houses or anything. It wasit was late and this woman just jumped
out of the bushes. I've toldyou about her before. She was jumped
out of the bushes and that wasthe last time was she doing in the
bushes? I mean now that youwould know who she was. Probably she
(37:35):
was high and she was tweaking,and somehow she made her way to the
forest too, and she was likeref I was a teenager, and I
remember thinking she was so huge.That was when I was scared. And
then I saw her again, andI mean I always knew she was crazy,
saw her again and she was actuallya petite woman, but in that
(37:57):
moment, she seemed like a giantbear to me, Like did was scary.
Yeah, I'm more scared of people. I always want to go camping,
but I'm I'm afraid to go intothe mountains because if I was,
you know, some kind of psychokiller, that's where I'd go. I
know, I always think, andthere's just too much information out there now
(38:20):
and too many ways to get it, and it makes you think of every
scenario. But again I think ingeneral, as a mom, I think
we do that anyways. We're alreadythere. Our head's already thinking about every
situation. I do it for myselftoo, And I know next next time
we're going to talk a little bitabout urban legends and how they're true.
The urban legends that happen came sometimesare based off of real things that did
(38:44):
happen. One of the things Ican think that I always get worried about,
and I think that I remember ifsomebody kind of chuckled that I do
this. But I always locked mydoors when I'm getting gas, Like I
get out of the car, lockmy doors inside, and then I get
my gas. You know, so, because I've heard and I've seen people
(39:05):
get taken advantage, especially women.Somebody gets in their vehicle on the other
side and they don't know it,or they steal everything out of their vehicle
while they're getting gas because the doorsunlocked. You hear about something. You're
like, oh my gosh, fromnow on, I'm locking my doors.
I always think of stuff like that, and I guess it's like the mafia
(39:25):
in my head. I don't know, like the mafiosa, because I always
think about like that. And youknow, when I go to restaurants,
I sit with my back to thewall. I want to see who's coming
in. I want to know wherethe exits are, and I want to
know if shit goes down, wheream I going. I always have an
exit strategy, but I also haveusually a strategy of fighting my way out
(39:47):
too. If you ever see mefingering my fork, that means I'm getting
nervous. I mean, some stuff'sabout to go down. Okay, okay,
follow my lead. You get yourfork one hand, get your butter
knife and the other hand. We'regoing out and we're going to go out
fighting. And this is what itlooks like. And you just snab stab
(40:07):
and run, stab, stab,run, stab, snab, run and
get out that door. I seewhen people walk into buildings, I'm always
observing them. My daughter would belike, Mom, stop staring. And
I've told my own mother stop staring. My mom stares for different reasons.
Than I do. My mom's likechecking out their shoes, seeing that their
(40:30):
pants are pressed. Look at hershirt, it looks like she pulled it
out at the hamper. I'm lookingfor weapons or you know, bad intentions.
Ah. Yes. Another thing thatI do is that I've been walking
around and it's night or something.And I did this even through college,
is I would put my keys inbetween my knuckles, so like if you
(40:52):
had your car keys. I don'tknow, other people probably do this too,
that if you had it throw apunch or you had it, you
know, Lee Struggle, you wouldhave your keys. I'll set up kind
of like Wolverine, you know whatI mean, Like, yeah, yeah,
and you could do a little bitmore damage hopefully in that respect.
But yeah, I always and Istill do that, especially if I just
(41:13):
if the you know, if themoment's right, you get a little bit
of a gut feeling. I startthinking, okay, just like you,
where's my egxit? What am Idoing here? You know, let's figure
this out? And then yeah,they have they have like weapons that you
can wear around your neck or yourwrist, and they're like they look like
a pen or a flashlight and they'reactually like stabbers and DNA collectors, Like,
(41:37):
even if you do get murdered,you leave the DNA there so they
know where to start looking. Yeah, stab them with the stick. But
you know, and it's sad,but there's a big market for stuff like
that. I know. You knowthe other thing you could do and I
think will probably end on this note. Yeah, shit your pants. Back
(41:58):
to the parting, gonna start withparty, We're gonna end on that note
too. No listen, I've heard. I've heard if you're ever being attacked,
release your bowels. I don't knowhow people could do it, honestly,
Like, I just don't even know, like what situation I would have
to be in to be able tofully release my bowels. I just don't
(42:20):
know if I could. But theysay, like if somebody is going to
kidnap you or rape you and youpoop your pants, they'll dump you out
and leave you. I can suppose, because like who wants that in your
vehicle, in their vehicle or wherever? Like who wants to do that with
somebody who's It makes sense, it'sa growth, it does make sense,
(42:45):
But what wanted on my headline?But it saves my life, maybe,
I guess yeah, could you imaginethat, like woman saves herself from predator
by crapping? I mean, ooh, and like, who's gonna believe you
just be like sitting there in thepark with crap all over your pants and
I'll down your legs. I'd justbe like somebody tried to grab me.
(43:05):
They like, you're all right,lady. You at the fish soup,
didn't you. Thanks everyone for joiningus today on Smalltown USA. If you
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(43:30):
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