November 19, 2024 • 56 mins
On this episode of Soul CPR, we talk with Monica Flores, a gifted storyteller whose characters wield an extraordinary secret weapon: the power to spark personal growth in readers. Through compelling narratives and characters who rise above adversity, Monica Flores offers more than just a captivating story—she creates a transformative experience that inspires readers to reflect on their own potential. Together, we explore how fiction can heal, uplift, and remind us of our inner strength and that no matter the obstacle, there’s always a path forward.
Connect w/ Monica:
https://monicafloresauthor.com/
monicafloresauthor@gmail.com
Instagram: monicafloresauthor
Twitter: monicafloresauthor
Facebook: monicafloresauthor
Goodreads: Monica Flores (Author of Emara's Challenge)
Crisis and Suicide Lifeline Call or Text 988
Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788
#SoulCPRPodcast#AuthorInterview #InspiringFiction#emaraschallenge #author #writer #romance #monicafloresauthor #thewhitepaper #CharacterResilience #InnerStrength #EmpowerThroughStories #FictionThatHeals #ReadersJourney #TransformativeStories #Books #Novel #PersonalGrowth #OvercomingChallenges #StorytellingPower
Connect w/ Monica:
https://monicafloresauthor.com/
monicafloresauthor@gmail.com
Instagram: monicafloresauthor
Twitter: monicafloresauthor
Facebook: monicafloresauthor
Goodreads: Monica Flores (Author of Emara's Challenge)
Crisis and Suicide Lifeline Call or Text 988
Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788
#SoulCPRPodcast#AuthorInterview #InspiringFiction#emaraschallenge #author #writer #romance #monicafloresauthor #thewhitepaper #CharacterResilience #InnerStrength #EmpowerThroughStories #FictionThatHeals #ReadersJourney #TransformativeStories #Books #Novel #PersonalGrowth #OvercomingChallenges #StorytellingPower
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Are you ready to untangle from your past, recover from heartbreak,
and revive your life? This is sol CPR with your
host and Papa Yode. We've all had soul crushing experiences
and lost ourselves in our pain, but there is a
way out. On this podcast, Amazon best selling author, award
winning life coach and advice columnist and Papa Yode helps
(00:28):
us navigate the path from heartbreak to healing. So now
please welcome the host of Soul CPR and Papa Yode.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hello, and thank you for tuning in today. As always,
I'm delighted you've joined me. Now, if you are a
regular follower, you may notice two things right now. One,
I'm not in my usual location because I'm not in Dallas, Texas.
I'm actually in Atlanta, Georgia. The second thing you notice
is that my screen's a little blurry because we're having
(01:03):
difficulty with the Wi Fi connection where I'm at. But
the audio is apparently working just fine. So that's what's
most important is that you can hear me now. Also,
if you've been following the show, you know that I
enjoy featuring guests who have overcome adversity and are willing
to share out loud about what they've gone through and
(01:26):
how they've healed, so that we can learn from them
and be reminded of our own strengths when we're facing
our life challenges. Now, I often meet my extraordinary guests
in the most ordinary places and believe that our paths
were meant to cross. In today's guests is certainly no different.
(01:49):
I ran into the grocery store one Saturday after teaching
a fitness class, and there she was doing a book signing,
and I was immediately drawn in and had to know
what she and her writing are all about. And now
I do, and soon you will too. Monica Flores is
a talented author who writes powerful stories of resilience, strength,
(02:14):
and personal growth. With a deep love for these character
rich driven narratives. Monica creates worlds where protagonists face and
overcome significant challenges, often involving elements of adventure, romance, and
self discovery. Are you compelled ya to know more? I'm
(02:37):
sure you are. Through her work, Monica aims to inspire
readers to reflect on their own lives and embrace the
power of change, determination, and courage. Her debut series And
Its Story introduces three remarkable female characters ZeVA, Emara, and Palla,
each of whom embark on their own extraordinary journey in
(03:00):
a world full of danger and self discovery. Monica, welcome
to the show.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Hello, Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Yes, and see how Monica's cares. Everything's nice and clear,
and I'm so glad.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
That it is.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I'm also so glad that I went Krogering that Saturday.
However long ago that's been now.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
And it's been about a month that we met, and
it's yeah, I feel the same way. I felt like
we were meant to meet and me to be here,
So thank you very much for inviting me.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Of course, of course, I know you had a friend
with you that day from your writing group, and I
know we're going to talk about them at some point,
and it was lovely to see you, and I had
no idea at that point how much we had in
common beyond writing, but also all the way to abusive
relationships and beauty pageants. And we'll get into all of
(03:58):
that lot the morning. But I'm someone who believes that
every one of us has a story or two or
twenty two or maybe even two hundred inside of us,
but not all of us are inspired to actually write
them down and share them with the world. And of course,
as a writer myself, I'm always curious, So what inspired
(04:21):
you to write and to become a writer?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I think it started with the fact that I was
in a marriage that was not positive and so it
was a way for me to cope through that. I
didn't know what was going on, but I used it
to sort of as an outlet to survive. And then
(04:53):
with that, sometime later, I was introduced to a a
counselor who told me what abuse was and that I
was an abusive relationship and then I had to, you know,
(05:19):
do something about it. So that was my first experience
with abuse that I was not prepared for and didn't
know what was going on. But then I had a choice,
and with the help of the counselor and friends, they
(05:40):
hit me out for three days and then I was
reunited with my family, my parents and brothers. And at
that time I had three or two small children at
the time, and when I made to Texas, that's when
(06:01):
I found out I was pregnant with my third so
tough time, but that's how it all started.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
My goodness, I can tell that it's still very difficult
to talk about and abusive situations are not easy to
talk about, but you did get out and writing as
a way to cope with your marriage, is what you said.
So it began as that And how dark did it
(06:35):
get before you realized? Because you said it was a
therapist who actually helped you have the insight that you
were actually in an abusive relationship. What did you think
was happening or what were you thinking during this time
before you were introduced to a therapist?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah, it is difficult to talk about, but at that
time I was I didn't know what was going on,
but I knew I couldn't continue with where I was at.
I couldn't continue down the path I was going and
so much so it was such a dark time that
I had a plan to kill myself and my children
(07:22):
if the counselor couldn't help me. I had a plan.
I knew exactly what I was going to do, and
thanks to that counselor, I'll be forever in her debt.
She told me what was going on. She helped me
to see the cycle of abuse and then helped me
(07:44):
to make some choices, some decisions in my life to
help me and my children move forward and with that
that's when we were hidden for three days until my
father could come rescue me.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Well, that is extremely dark, of course, dark thoughts that
you went to while you were in this situation and
not even recognizing that that's what you were in. I
work with a lot of domestic violence, intimate partner violence, abuse,
(08:21):
and I know a lot of people do not understand
that what they're experiencing is abuse and until someone else
defines it for them. So I understand that you did
not know that. I understand how your thoughts went that dark.
I do want to take this moment to say if
anyone listening has ever had those kinds of thoughts, the
(08:45):
Crisis in Suicide Lifeline is available to anyone and everyone
twenty four to seven call or text nine to eight
eight the Domestic Violence Hotline call one hundred and seven
ninety nine safe that's seven two three three, or you
can text start to eight eight seven eight eight. I
(09:10):
appreciate your being so honest and open about where your
thoughts went, because so many people feel alone and isolated
in those kinds of thoughts and in those dark times
in their lives, and they may not have a therapist,
or they may not have someone who introduced them to
that kind of help and that hero without a cape
(09:33):
in their life that helps guide them through that dark time.
And they may not have family to come and pick
them up, may not have someone to help create that
safety plan. But these two organizations are there for each
and every one of us. And that's that friend at
the end of the phone that you didn't know you had,
and they will help you, and they will help and
(09:53):
they will help you create that plan. So something I
heard you speak, that's so important. You were hidden away
for three days. There was a safety plan created for you,
an exit strategy, and that's so important. And we've done
several shows on SOUL CPR Healing Out Loud on domestic violence,
and we always emphasize the importance of having a strategy
(10:16):
and an exit plan. And anyway, so glad that you
had that and you had that support and you were
able to move out. What did you learn about the
cycle of abuse, Monica? If you don't mind sharing that
you didn't know or you weren't aware of while you
were in it.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Well, the cycle of a few abuse starts with things
not good. You know, you think you're in a good place,
but then it starts to get worse and worse and
worse and worse until the abuse occurs. And then after
the abuse is when the abuser tries to make it
(11:02):
up to you that things all right again and I
will never do it again. And then eventually it starts
down the start of it again, where something goes wrong,
it's your fault, you're the problem, and then it goes
(11:25):
through it again. But what's bad about the cycle of
abuse is that it gets worse over time. So what
started out is just you know, maybe some language, then
goes in you know, some verbal abuse, then goes into
physical abuse and other elements. There may be even sexual abuse.
(11:49):
So it's important. Please if you feel like you need
a change or that this may be happening to you,
please reach out. There are so many resources out there
to help women that are in abusive situations now, and
(12:10):
if you are in a dark place, please take advantage
of the phone numbers that will help you. I was lucky.
I had a counselor who saved my life literally through
her inspiration and help. And you know, there is life
(12:32):
after abuse, there is so much more, So please do
not give up on yourself and use the resources that
are available.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yes, thank you. Thank you for saying that. You mentioned
that you learned you were pregnant with your third child
after you literally left and arrived back in Texas where
you had the support of family. What was that like
for you?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I cried for three days. It was a horrible feeling.
One I would not be able to be legally separated
from him, you know, the divorce would not be finished
until after the child was born. Two I would be
(13:26):
a single mom with now three kids. I felt very overwhelmed,
and my parents said, it's a blessing, It's a blessing,
and they kept on reminding me that it's a blessing.
After three days, I picked myself up and made a plan.
And so during that time frame, I think I was
(13:50):
really blessed because throughout that pregnancy, my soon to be
X made some bad choices that resulted in me getting
sole custody of all three children, and I am so
very grateful for that. I don't think that would have
occurred if I wasn't pregnant and had to wait the
(14:15):
ten months eleven months until the divorce was final.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
So it was a blessing, and bless your parents for
reminding you of that. And keeping that in your forethought.
As the universe opened and God, whatever your belief system is,
opened that up for you. We are getting ready for
our first break. I know that you and I both
would agree that divorce isn't easy. But you were in
(14:43):
a place it sounds like, where you felt safe and loved,
as did your children, and you sound you were on
a path where you were ready to move forward and
begin a healing journey. So when we come back, we're
going to talk about what that path looks like in
what came next, So don't go far. We'll be back
(15:04):
with more soulcy pure.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Mike Zorich a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike blind
six birth, was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling
(15:28):
twice at one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zorich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune her natural abilities, influenced her
(15:51):
decision to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zorich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work, life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent but you're not sure how.
(16:28):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships,
health wellbeing, and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The Carrying
Generation are on my website. Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus
(16:51):
my Caregiving Library, online caregiver support programs and programs for
corporations interested in supporting working caregivers. Help, hope and support
for caregivers is here on The Carrying Generation and Pamela
Dwilson dot com.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Hello, thank you for tuning in today. I'm a Papaotti
with my guest Monica Flores, and we are talking about
her incredible personal journey that led to some amazing writing
and books that we'll share with you a bit later
in the show. And please excuse my camera if you
joined late. It's just in a bad Wi Fi location today,
(17:29):
but I hope that you can hear me. Well, Monica
was just sharing leaving a difficult and abusive relationship and
escaping literally and arriving into another state, back to Texas
where she had the support of family and friends. And
(17:51):
I guess new psychologists, this morner, new therapists, and new
new groups. And I'm going to get you to pick
us up from there and take us through what was
next in your life, because yeah, and I'll leave it
at that. We'll go from.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
There, okay. Well, of course I went to counseling during
my pregnancy, had to get through the issues there and
tried to do my best. When I finished counseling, I
ended up going to group therapy to work through my
(18:27):
issues and stuff. But during this timeframe, I determined that
I would be a single mom and raised my three children.
But I did not have a college degree, so I
went back to school and worked in the financial aid
office as well as went to school full time to
(18:49):
become a nurse, and then had three kids, three children outside.
So it was a difficult time and my week consisted
of work, school children, and that's the way it was.
That was the whole cycle of it.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Well, nobody ever promised easy, right but they But what
I always tell might people i'd lead support groups for separation, divorced.
It's not nobody said it's going to be easy, but
it will be worth it when you start pouring into yourself.
And that's what I hear you doing. So what i'm
hearing you say, you've begun to move to heal and
(19:30):
to move forward. Life wasn't what you expected for sure,
or what you dreamed of, but you found a path forward.
And as the saying goes, life has a way of
throwing curveballs, but some of them actually can take a
positive turn. So here you are, you're on your way,
you're becoming a nurse, you're single parenting successfully. Tell us
(19:53):
about that curveball that turned positive.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
I know exactly what you're talking about. So I was
driving on the freeway to get to an activity and
my car blows up, literally blows up. The engine blows
up while I'm driving, and I hear all the parts
and pieces of the engine just fall down and make
(20:22):
tinkling sounds as I drive over. Very unnerving. So then
I had to figure out, Okay, how am I going
to get off the road, and luckily there was an
exit coming up. I still had steering, still have my brakes,
so did a lot of praying as I journeyed to
(20:45):
a gas station on the other side of the freeway,
and the lights turned green as I came up on it,
so I did not have to use my brakes at
all and was able to make it to the gas
station and park, So that was a blessing in itself. Now,
(21:05):
this occurred back before cell phones, so I had to
then figure out what to do, but luckily I had
change so use the telephone and called my dad first,
and he wasn't home. Then I called my brothers and
(21:27):
they weren't home. No one was available. But what had
occurred about a month before that was I was at
a dance and a guy took an interest in me,
and he gave me his phone number and said, if
(21:47):
you're ever in need of help, call me and I
will be there. So I took it with me and
just put in my wallet. Didn't worry about it because
I'm a single mom. I'm not gonna get involved with
any guys. I'm happy where I'm at. I did not
want to go through another trial with the spouse. But
(22:12):
my car blew up on the freeway. So here I
am and no one else is available, And so I
called him and he showed up with his best friend
and helped me out, literally helped me out. We got
my car to his friend's house, who lived a couple
(22:33):
miles down the road, and then he was taking me home.
And up to this point, transportation, you know, in Texas,
everything is wide in Texas, and it takes a car
to get to every place. And my world was hinging
(22:54):
upon a working vehicle. So now that it was it
had blown downy, what was I to do, and my
world was falling apart around me, because if I didn't
have a vehicle to get me to school and to
work and everywhere I needed to be, then the financial
(23:17):
aid and the assistance that I received would then stop.
And I needed that assistance to be able to take
care of my children, to be able to continue down
this road to become a nurse. So I started crying
(23:37):
in his car, and he asked me why was I crying?
And I said, well, because I've got to have a
working vehicle. I've got to get to work, i've got
to get to school, I've got to do everything that
I need to do, and without a vehicle, that is
(23:57):
going to really hurt me. And he says, you have
this vehicle, and sure that blew me away. You know,
he doesn't really know me, and yeah, he knows I
have three kids, but you know, to give a stranger
(24:21):
your vehicle was weird, but wonderful.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Weird and wonderful. What a combination of words, both weird
and wonderful. So this curveball that seemed like it was
gonna really tear your world apart in a horrific way,
really brought this man into your life. Now, your parents,
who helped spend your third child as a blessing and
(24:51):
got you in our support, you know, helped support you
emotionally and I'm sure many other ways as you start
life over from the ground up. What did they think
of this weird and wonderful man.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I think they liked him. I know my dad gave
him the sort of third degree when he finally arrived
on my doorstep before he would let him take me
out on a date. But they encouraged me to get
past my anger, to get past that emotional baggage that
(25:34):
my ex had dumped me with, and that was part
of the healing process, is to let go of all
that anger. You know, I did not want him to
have control over me anymore, and that included that anger
that I had, so I had to let it go,
(25:55):
and it was it was a empowering thing. I chose
to let it go, and that helped with my healings.
So here is this guy. My mom suggested. I'm a
big Under Siege fan with Stephen Slagall, and the new
(26:18):
Stephen Slagall movie was coming out, so I wanted to
go see that, but I didn't want to go by myself,
so my mom suggested I invite him, and that is
where it started, you know. Yeah, Oh, and I might
as well mention. After I got my car fixed, he
(26:39):
had bought me another used car that was newer and
better than what I had, And he said, he gave
me the new car, and he said, you will just
trade cars. I'll sell the old one, you keep the
new one. And that was weird and wonderful in itself too,
because now I had a better working vehic go one
(27:00):
with air conditioning, where's my old one didn't? And in
Texas you need air conditioning. So it was you know,
he had done multiple things, and I decided to take
my mom's advice and go out to a movie with him.
And of course, when he arrived at at my parents'
(27:24):
doorstep to pick me up, my dad did take him
to the side and had an interview with him first,
just to make sure he was a good guy. And
I appreciated that.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I'm sure he did so. I think your parents have
been pretty integral a few things here. But where is
mister wonderful with the weird and wonderful gestures? Now? Where
is he in your life now? Or is he he
is in my life?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
We are going on our thirty year wedding anniversary this
next month. So yes, it's been wonderful. He's sort of
part of the characters that are interspersed in my books
because you know, you do need weird and wonderful and
great supporting men in your life, and he's one of them.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
So I would like listeners here that they do exist,
because when I have women who've been in my support groups,
who've been through abusive or difficult relationships, they doubt that
weirdly wonderful men exist, and I tell them they do,
but you have to be open to seeing them and
(28:43):
receiving them, and that requires exactly what you just stated
so eloquently, letting go, letting go of anger, letting go
of that past so that you can receive what is
weirdly wonderful in front of you. Now. Doesn't mean that
trust comes easily, right, doesn't mean that someone courting you
(29:06):
is going to be the first one's going to be
authentic and true. So there's still a discernment that has
to come that we have to learn about. And it
sounds like that this worked out in such a beautiful thing.
So first of all, congratulations on that upcoming anniversary. Thirty
year anniversary to both of you. That's so awesomewhat a
(29:27):
gift in your life and that curveball that turned you
toward your husband. Now you and I both are Texas residents,
and Texas is known for many things, including beauty pageants.
So I believe that you shared with me that at
one point you actually participated in the Missus Texas pageant.
(29:52):
What inspired you to enter?
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Well, every year in January, I try to come up
with goals for myself what I want to accomplish that
year in different avenues, whether it be physical, spiritual, emotional, temporal.
What are my goals? So I sat down and work
(30:21):
that out for myself. And back in twenty ten, after
having my sixth child, I and of course that was
a few years earlier, but in twenty twenty ten, I
decided that I would you try to get back in shape,
(30:44):
try to work on speaking and some grace, which I
am at Klotz. And so the Texas Missus Texas pageant
was a way to culminate these these goals and make
(31:07):
it into something something I'm missing the word help me
out here, an accountability factor. I'm a strong believer in accountability,
so I during the twenty ten Missus Texas Pageant, and
(31:31):
there had some unique experiences Before the Missus Texas Pageant,
I really hated public speaking. It's still an issue for me,
but at least I have not started crying, which is
(31:51):
what happened at the Missus Texas Pageant. I was so overwhelmed,
broke down and cried. But I learned a few things
about myself that even in my weaknesses, I'm not perfect.
I'm okay as I am, and I can move forward
and continue to strive and progress on a daily basis,
(32:15):
and I don't have to be perfect. Because the outcome
of that was I won missus Congeniality, which I never expected.
But it was a great experience and I'm very grateful
for that opportunity.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yes, and I mean, of all titles, I think that
is the crowning title, Miss Congeniality. The world certainly needs
more congenial people and role models and examples of that.
So congratulations, I'm winning Miss Congeniality or missus Congeniality. I
(32:51):
love it it is I didn't break Oh what you got?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
That that slips I'm not doing a very good job show.
But let's see over here there. I am right there
in the middle.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I'll look it to you.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I love it in Charlie's Angels Pose. Now it is
time for our second break. When we come back, we're
going to talk about a curveball that didn't turn so
positive and then but what got you back into writing?
And we're going to get to those books really quickly,
so don't go far. We'll be back with more soul.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
CPR Doctor RC will share extraordinary resources and services that
promote educational success as well as making a difference in
the lives of all social workers as well as the
lives of children, adolescents and teens of today. She will
have open discussions addressing many of the issues that we
face about our youth and how being employed in the
(33:47):
uniquely skilled profession of social work for over eighteen years
has taught invaluable lessons through her personal experiences. She will
also provide real life facts, examples and personal stories that
will confirm that why serving as a child advocate is
extremely beneficial when addressing the needs of the whole child.
Listen Live to Dare to Soar Saturdays ten am Eastern
(34:09):
on the BBM Global Network and tune in radio as
Doctor RC will provide thought provoking information that will empower, encourage,
and strengthen students, families, and communities across our nation. You
can also visit her at soarwith Katie dot Com. Author,
(34:30):
radio show host and coach John M. Hawkins reveals strategies
to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals.
John M. Hawkins new book Coached to Greatness Unlock Your
Full Potential with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe, Hawkins
reveals strategies to help readers accomplish more. He believes the
(34:53):
book can coach them to greatness. Hawkins says that the
best athletes get to the top of their sport with
the help of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares guidance
that helps readers reflect on what motivates them. We discover
and assess their core values, philosophies and competencies, find settings
that allow them to be the most productive, and track
(35:15):
their progress towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John hawkins My
Strategy Saturdays one pm Eastern on the BBM Global Network
and tune in radio.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Hello and welcome back to SELCPR. Right here on Bold
Brave TV. I'm Anne Papaoti with Monica Flores my guest
today and we are talking about her story and we've
talked about curveballs that turn positive. But there was another curveball.
After life is going so well, but ask life tends
to go unpredictably for all of us. This next curveball
(35:55):
really changed your world again. Tell us a little bit
about what happened there.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
In twenty eleven, I was in a head on car
accident with a large truck on the other side of
the freeway. He had lost control of his vehicle and
it went through the median, which was cables and posts,
(36:27):
and went over into my lane, where the cables pulled
him back into the vehicle. I was a passenger in
and so it was a high speed head on collision
both you know, two vehicles and opposite directions, and I
(36:49):
took the rent of it. With that, my right wrist
was crushed as well as my left foot, and because
of that injury, I lost the use of my left
foot and so spent the next two years in a wheelchair,
(37:12):
which was difficult. You don't want to be dependent on
other people, but I became dependent upon a lot of
people and it was very difficult. But in twenty thirteen
(37:32):
doctor Sarah Suttle, who is a wonderful podiatrist in the area.
My husband talked me into going and seeing her, and
new technology had come out and she says, I can
rebuild your foot. And at first it was a shocket,
you know, after being to so many doctors that couldn't
(37:58):
fix me. And so we took her up on it
and it made a world of difference. And for that
next year, I spent the year learning how to walk again.
I can walk now. I can't run very well, and
it looks very funny, but I can walk, and that's
(38:19):
the important thing.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Absolutely absolutely. I you know, another dark time in your life,
but you were surrounded this time by love and didn't
have to escape anything, just had to escape maybe your
own thoughts about being dependent on other people and allow
(38:42):
the help that was built into your life already. And
I imagine that your perseverance and your resilience and the
journey through the pain that you were experienced physically, and
I'm sure emostly whatever darkness might have been there, but
also the growth is reflected in your characters. So tell
(39:05):
us about when writing became more than that initial way
of coping you shared with us at the beginning of
the show. When did you pick it back up?
Speaker 3 (39:17):
So, a few years after the injury, I ran across
the novel printed out. I ran across it in one
of my boxes and decided, well, let's see what we
can do with this and use this as one of
my goals for the year. So I rewrote the book,
(39:42):
and I got myself involved in the Killer Writers Association,
which is a writing group, and started that journey to
see what would happen with my stories. So it turns
out that the book of into one of resilience instead
(40:03):
of just copying, and so Amara's challenge was the first
one that I was able to get published. I went
down the indie road because the literature world they use
they determine what will be the next popular thing for
(40:27):
the next six months, and resiliency and fiction is probably
not one of those, nor will it ever be one
of those that will be popular genres. So I went
down the indie road thanks to some wonderful friends, and
(40:48):
got my first book published back in twenty twenty, and
then two years later did my second book to see
if I could do it again. Yeah, and then this
one was just released in November about October, take that
(41:09):
back October twenty fifth. So three wonderful books that have
resulted from my experiences.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I'm amazing, I am reading, and I have in my
hands Amara's Challenge right here. Would you mind opening Amara's
Challenge and reading that beautiful quote from Elizabeth Coogler Ross
and talk to us about that quote and why you
chose it.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
So before I before Mar's Challenge became a book, but
I was working on it. I was trying to just
see how figure out how to write this book and
what to do with it. And I ran across this
(42:05):
quote in Barnes and Noble from Elizabeth Coopler Ross, and
I bought it. The most beautiful people are those who
have known defeat, non suffering, non struggle, known loss, and
have found their way out of the depths. These persons
(42:26):
have an appreciation of sensitivity and an understanding of life
that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep, loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen. And I totally agree
with that, and it is that quote has become an
(42:50):
important part of my life and it is in all
my books. Because you don't need to be the most beautiful.
You don't need to be able to run, you don't
need to be able to be perfect. You need to
be you and to move forward. And that's what this
life is about, is overcoming your obstacles, your challenges and
(43:13):
becoming better.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I love it. I love it. And for those who
may not be aware. Elizabeth Koopler Ross, whom you quote,
and I'd never heard this quote before from her, but
I do quote her a lot in my work, is
the Swiss American psychiatrist who's so well known for her
(43:37):
book on death and dying and her work and her
model of the state five stages of grief. And that's
where I think so many people, what many of us
are familiar with, So thank you for sharing that with us.
In Amar's challenge, which I'm totally drawn into her world
by the way, I love it. I think anybody who
(44:01):
I think anybody can enjoy this at this book, I
really really do.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
So.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
After Amara, what or who inspired those next two books?
Zeven Palla, so Amara.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Was if I can do it? And then Zeeva was
can I do it again? Can I actually do this?
So this became another goal of mine. Can I am
I a real writer, or is it just a fluke
that the first one happened? And so Zeva's challenges from
(44:37):
that and within that book and writing it, I got
through the first half of it and then had writer's block.
So for writers, that means you can't see a way
to move the story forward. And so I was like, well,
(44:58):
maybe you know, those doubts come, maybe I can't do this,
Maybe it was a floke. But I spoke with other
writers and they said, keep writing, keep moving forward, keep writing.
You can always edit, but keep trying to move forward.
And so I did. And because of that perseverance, that's
(45:20):
how Zeba's challenge came out. And it's a wonderful story
and I see a lot of my husband and the
main character live is the main guy there. It's awesome.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
Wow. So if we go back to something you shared
earlier in the show, you were talking about you know,
I think what led you into the Miss Texas pageant
it was you had started setting these goals and all
how important has goals setting been both to your healing
and your writing success.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Mobbles are important. I think they are very important for
each individual to create your own goals. You need to
set goals for yourself, look for hope and faith and
move forward. Set your dreams, reach your dreams. And the
only way to do that is by setting little, small
(46:22):
goals to get there.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
I imagine even just when you had to learn to
walk again, it was one small step at a time, Right.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
You know? Can I take three steps? Can I take five?
Let's try for ten? You know? Can I walk to
the car? You know? Can? You know? Just keep working
at it, keep working at it. And you know, if
it wasn't for me keeping working at each of these goals,
(46:57):
I would never be to where I am now. And
of course, goals will continue to be a big part
of my life as I continue to move forward on
this journey of my life. But I am the heroin
in my book, in my life story, and each of
us can be the heroin in our lives by moving forward,
(47:18):
by having hope, by having faith, and keep progressing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yeah, faith over fear is what I say, because it's
fear that we'll keep us stuck and hold us back
from our best lives at every time, right, every time? Well,
I appreciate your sharing that about goals. As a coach,
that's something I work with clients. Every client we're going
to work on goals at some point in our journey
(47:47):
together and our partnership. A lot of people have trouble
seeing the big vision first or the big picture, and
then it may be overwhelming for them. They can't figure
out the how to get there. And that's why goals
are so important to like you say, and thank you
for describing that little successes along the way, And when
(48:09):
people say it's not the destination's really the journey, that's
when you look back and you go, wow, look what
I did, right, yeah, wow, wow, indeed, wow, indeed. All right, Well,
we are going to take our final break at this point,
and when we come back, we're going to wrap it
up with how people can get into buy these lovely,
(48:33):
wonderful books of yours. We'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
Thanks.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent, but you're not sure
how I'm Family d Wilson join me for the Carrying
(49:01):
Generation radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings,
six Pacific, seven Mountain, eighth Central, and nine Eastern, where
I answer these questions and share tips for managing stress,
family relationships, health, wellbeing and more. Podcasts and transcripts of
The Carrying Generation are on my website Pamela Dwilson dot com,
(49:21):
plus my Caregiving Library. Online caregiver support programs and programs
for corporations interested in supporting working caregivers. Help, hope and
support for caregivers is here on The Carrying Generation and
Pamela d Wilson dot com.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
Mike Zorich a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike blind
six birth, was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling
(49:57):
twice at one hundred and fifty two talents. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zurich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune her natural abilities, influenced her
(50:20):
decision to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zurich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
And we're back, Monica. Thank you so much for being
here today and sharing your life's journey with us, and
in such an honest and an open way. I greatly
appreciate it, and I know our listeners do as well.
If you had a key takeaway message for the audience,
(51:00):
what would it be.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
Don't give up. Don't give up on yourself, keep moving forward.
The joy we fail has little to do with our circums,
with the circumstances of our lives, and everything to do
with the focus of our lives. So focus on the positive.
Focus on the things that are going right in your life,
(51:23):
Focus on your dreams, focus on your future. Move forward.
You can do this, and you can be the heroine
of your own story.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
I love it and going back to your parents using
the word blessings. And then I heard you use the
word blessings several times today as we were talking, and
I think that's I think, notice your blessings because sometimes
when we are going through difficult times, we're so looking
(51:53):
down that we forget to look up and to see
what's right in our lives. As you said, so notice
the blessings in your life and call them out and
be grateful for them. Indeed, so again, Dan, would you
mind putting up the Crisis in Suicide Lifeline and the
domestic violence hotline? Thank you so again. If you are struggling,
(52:18):
you do not have to go through it alone. Crisis
and Suicide Lifeline call or text nine to eight eight
Domestic Violence Hotline. I know a lot of people minimize
their experience. They don't recognize abuse for what it is.
As Monica described was her situation is often a slow breakdown,
(52:40):
starts insidious in such an insidious way, but it escalates.
The hotline dot org call one eight hundred and seventy
ninety nine Safe that's seven two three three or text
start to eight eight seven eight eight. There are advocates
of available to guide you and help you, and there
(53:03):
are other resources that you can browse on their website.
As this episode of Soul CPR comes to a close today,
remember that healing is not a linear journey, but rather
a process of profound transformation. So if today's stories resonated
with you, please share this podcast with those who might
(53:23):
need a lifeline of their own. Subscribe, rate and leave
a review to help us reach more hearts. We greatly
appreciate it, and Manica tell us how our listeners can
connect with you or contact You.
Speaker 3 (53:38):
Can reach me through Monica Flores dot Monica floresauthor dot
com and that's a great way to do it. These
books are amazing. They're great reads, great for teenagers, anybody
who's struggling. Sorry I'm doing the wrong one, but try
and show all the books. They're great reads, lots of adventure.
(54:04):
Anybody who's read it has really enjoyed them. And I
hope that you will go out and reach them at
or get them at Amazon dot com or Amazon should
be just say Amazon. Uh, they're on Amazon and you
can search for them on the world Wide Web as well.
Speaker 2 (54:28):
Wonderful and I'm glad you said they're great for teenagers.
Because they are, and they're they're clean reads, they're exciting reads,
and I think they would probably be in the jew
in the JV section right if they were on a bookshelf.
So all right again that will all that information will
be in the show notes as well if you are listening,
(54:49):
so you know how to now connect with with Monica.
So please check her out her social media and connect
with her and and grab one of these books. It's
we're coming up on the holidays. Make a great gift
for someone in your life or for yourself. And as always,
you can connect with me on my social media on
Facebook It's Guide You Coaching, or on LinkedIn, Instagram and
(55:14):
x AT and Papayode. Let me know your thoughts, your
stories and the topics you'd like to explore more on
future episodes. Until next time, May you, like all of
Monica's characters, find strength in your vulnerability and courage in
your journey. Thank you for listening. Till next time. Breathe deeply,
love openly, and live selfilly. Good day.
Speaker 1 (55:38):
This has been Soul CPR with host and Papa Yode.
Breathe life back into your spirit with each episode where
she and special guests explore the relationships that hurt us,
and discover that healing can only begin with you. Tuesdays
at three pm Eastern on the Bold Brave TV Network
Are you ready to untangle from your past, recover from heartbreak,
and revive your life? This is sol CPR with your
host and Papa Yode. We've all had soul crushing experiences
and lost ourselves in our pain, but there is a
way out. On this podcast, Amazon best selling author, award
winning life coach and advice columnist and Papa Yode helps
(00:28):
us navigate the path from heartbreak to healing. So now
please welcome the host of Soul CPR and Papa Yode.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hello, and thank you for tuning in today. As always,
I'm delighted you've joined me. Now, if you are a
regular follower, you may notice two things right now. One,
I'm not in my usual location because I'm not in Dallas, Texas.
I'm actually in Atlanta, Georgia. The second thing you notice
is that my screen's a little blurry because we're having
(01:03):
difficulty with the Wi Fi connection where I'm at. But
the audio is apparently working just fine. So that's what's
most important is that you can hear me now. Also,
if you've been following the show, you know that I
enjoy featuring guests who have overcome adversity and are willing
to share out loud about what they've gone through and
(01:26):
how they've healed, so that we can learn from them
and be reminded of our own strengths when we're facing
our life challenges. Now, I often meet my extraordinary guests
in the most ordinary places and believe that our paths
were meant to cross. In today's guests is certainly no different.
(01:49):
I ran into the grocery store one Saturday after teaching
a fitness class, and there she was doing a book signing,
and I was immediately drawn in and had to know
what she and her writing are all about. And now
I do, and soon you will too. Monica Flores is
a talented author who writes powerful stories of resilience, strength,
(02:14):
and personal growth. With a deep love for these character
rich driven narratives. Monica creates worlds where protagonists face and
overcome significant challenges, often involving elements of adventure, romance, and
self discovery. Are you compelled ya to know more? I'm
(02:37):
sure you are. Through her work, Monica aims to inspire
readers to reflect on their own lives and embrace the
power of change, determination, and courage. Her debut series And
Its Story introduces three remarkable female characters ZeVA, Emara, and Palla,
each of whom embark on their own extraordinary journey in
(03:00):
a world full of danger and self discovery. Monica, welcome
to the show.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Hello, Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Yes, and see how Monica's cares. Everything's nice and clear,
and I'm so glad.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
That it is.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I'm also so glad that I went Krogering that Saturday.
However long ago that's been now.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
And it's been about a month that we met, and
it's yeah, I feel the same way. I felt like
we were meant to meet and me to be here,
So thank you very much for inviting me.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Of course, of course, I know you had a friend
with you that day from your writing group, and I
know we're going to talk about them at some point,
and it was lovely to see you, and I had
no idea at that point how much we had in
common beyond writing, but also all the way to abusive
relationships and beauty pageants. And we'll get into all of
(03:58):
that lot the morning. But I'm someone who believes that
every one of us has a story or two or
twenty two or maybe even two hundred inside of us,
but not all of us are inspired to actually write
them down and share them with the world. And of course,
as a writer myself, I'm always curious, So what inspired
(04:21):
you to write and to become a writer?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I think it started with the fact that I was
in a marriage that was not positive and so it
was a way for me to cope through that. I
didn't know what was going on, but I used it
to sort of as an outlet to survive. And then
(04:53):
with that, sometime later, I was introduced to a a
counselor who told me what abuse was and that I
was an abusive relationship and then I had to, you know,
(05:19):
do something about it. So that was my first experience
with abuse that I was not prepared for and didn't
know what was going on. But then I had a choice,
and with the help of the counselor and friends, they
(05:40):
hit me out for three days and then I was
reunited with my family, my parents and brothers. And at
that time I had three or two small children at
the time, and when I made to Texas, that's when
(06:01):
I found out I was pregnant with my third so
tough time, but that's how it all started.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
My goodness, I can tell that it's still very difficult
to talk about and abusive situations are not easy to
talk about, but you did get out and writing as
a way to cope with your marriage, is what you said.
So it began as that And how dark did it
(06:35):
get before you realized? Because you said it was a
therapist who actually helped you have the insight that you
were actually in an abusive relationship. What did you think
was happening or what were you thinking during this time
before you were introduced to a therapist?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah, it is difficult to talk about, but at that
time I was I didn't know what was going on,
but I knew I couldn't continue with where I was at.
I couldn't continue down the path I was going and
so much so it was such a dark time that
I had a plan to kill myself and my children
(07:22):
if the counselor couldn't help me. I had a plan.
I knew exactly what I was going to do, and
thanks to that counselor, I'll be forever in her debt.
She told me what was going on. She helped me
to see the cycle of abuse and then helped me
(07:44):
to make some choices, some decisions in my life to
help me and my children move forward and with that
that's when we were hidden for three days until my
father could come rescue me.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Well, that is extremely dark, of course, dark thoughts that
you went to while you were in this situation and
not even recognizing that that's what you were in. I
work with a lot of domestic violence, intimate partner violence, abuse,
(08:21):
and I know a lot of people do not understand
that what they're experiencing is abuse and until someone else
defines it for them. So I understand that you did
not know that. I understand how your thoughts went that dark.
I do want to take this moment to say if
anyone listening has ever had those kinds of thoughts, the
(08:45):
Crisis in Suicide Lifeline is available to anyone and everyone
twenty four to seven call or text nine to eight
eight the Domestic Violence Hotline call one hundred and seven
ninety nine safe that's seven two three three, or you
can text start to eight eight seven eight eight. I
(09:10):
appreciate your being so honest and open about where your
thoughts went, because so many people feel alone and isolated
in those kinds of thoughts and in those dark times
in their lives, and they may not have a therapist,
or they may not have someone who introduced them to
that kind of help and that hero without a cape
(09:33):
in their life that helps guide them through that dark time.
And they may not have family to come and pick
them up, may not have someone to help create that
safety plan. But these two organizations are there for each
and every one of us. And that's that friend at
the end of the phone that you didn't know you had,
and they will help you, and they will help and
(09:53):
they will help you create that plan. So something I
heard you speak, that's so important. You were hidden away
for three days. There was a safety plan created for you,
an exit strategy, and that's so important. And we've done
several shows on SOUL CPR Healing Out Loud on domestic violence,
and we always emphasize the importance of having a strategy
(10:16):
and an exit plan. And anyway, so glad that you
had that and you had that support and you were
able to move out. What did you learn about the
cycle of abuse, Monica? If you don't mind sharing that
you didn't know or you weren't aware of while you
were in it.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Well, the cycle of a few abuse starts with things
not good. You know, you think you're in a good place,
but then it starts to get worse and worse and
worse and worse until the abuse occurs. And then after
the abuse is when the abuser tries to make it
(11:02):
up to you that things all right again and I
will never do it again. And then eventually it starts
down the start of it again, where something goes wrong,
it's your fault, you're the problem, and then it goes
(11:25):
through it again. But what's bad about the cycle of
abuse is that it gets worse over time. So what
started out is just you know, maybe some language, then
goes in you know, some verbal abuse, then goes into
physical abuse and other elements. There may be even sexual abuse.
(11:49):
So it's important. Please if you feel like you need
a change or that this may be happening to you,
please reach out. There are so many resources out there
to help women that are in abusive situations now, and
(12:10):
if you are in a dark place, please take advantage
of the phone numbers that will help you. I was lucky.
I had a counselor who saved my life literally through
her inspiration and help. And you know, there is life
(12:32):
after abuse, there is so much more, So please do
not give up on yourself and use the resources that
are available.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yes, thank you. Thank you for saying that. You mentioned
that you learned you were pregnant with your third child
after you literally left and arrived back in Texas where
you had the support of family. What was that like
for you?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I cried for three days. It was a horrible feeling.
One I would not be able to be legally separated
from him, you know, the divorce would not be finished
until after the child was born. Two I would be
(13:26):
a single mom with now three kids. I felt very overwhelmed,
and my parents said, it's a blessing, It's a blessing,
and they kept on reminding me that it's a blessing.
After three days, I picked myself up and made a plan.
And so during that time frame, I think I was
(13:50):
really blessed because throughout that pregnancy, my soon to be
X made some bad choices that resulted in me getting
sole custody of all three children, and I am so
very grateful for that. I don't think that would have
occurred if I wasn't pregnant and had to wait the
(14:15):
ten months eleven months until the divorce was final.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
So it was a blessing, and bless your parents for
reminding you of that. And keeping that in your forethought.
As the universe opened and God, whatever your belief system is,
opened that up for you. We are getting ready for
our first break. I know that you and I both
would agree that divorce isn't easy. But you were in
(14:43):
a place it sounds like, where you felt safe and loved,
as did your children, and you sound you were on
a path where you were ready to move forward and
begin a healing journey. So when we come back, we're
going to talk about what that path looks like in
what came next, So don't go far. We'll be back
(15:04):
with more soulcy pure.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Mike Zorich a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike blind
six birth, was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling
(15:28):
twice at one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zorich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune her natural abilities, influenced her
(15:51):
decision to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zorich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work, life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent but you're not sure how.
(16:28):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships,
health wellbeing, and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The Carrying
Generation are on my website. Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus
(16:51):
my Caregiving Library, online caregiver support programs and programs for
corporations interested in supporting working caregivers. Help, hope and support
for caregivers is here on The Carrying Generation and Pamela
Dwilson dot com.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Hello, thank you for tuning in today. I'm a Papaotti
with my guest Monica Flores, and we are talking about
her incredible personal journey that led to some amazing writing
and books that we'll share with you a bit later
in the show. And please excuse my camera if you
joined late. It's just in a bad Wi Fi location today,
(17:29):
but I hope that you can hear me. Well, Monica
was just sharing leaving a difficult and abusive relationship and
escaping literally and arriving into another state, back to Texas
where she had the support of family and friends. And
(17:51):
I guess new psychologists, this morner, new therapists, and new
new groups. And I'm going to get you to pick
us up from there and take us through what was
next in your life, because yeah, and I'll leave it
at that. We'll go from.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
There, okay. Well, of course I went to counseling during
my pregnancy, had to get through the issues there and
tried to do my best. When I finished counseling, I
ended up going to group therapy to work through my
(18:27):
issues and stuff. But during this timeframe, I determined that
I would be a single mom and raised my three children.
But I did not have a college degree, so I
went back to school and worked in the financial aid
office as well as went to school full time to
(18:49):
become a nurse, and then had three kids, three children outside.
So it was a difficult time and my week consisted
of work, school children, and that's the way it was.
That was the whole cycle of it.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Well, nobody ever promised easy, right but they But what
I always tell might people i'd lead support groups for separation, divorced.
It's not nobody said it's going to be easy, but
it will be worth it when you start pouring into yourself.
And that's what I hear you doing. So what i'm
hearing you say, you've begun to move to heal and
(19:30):
to move forward. Life wasn't what you expected for sure,
or what you dreamed of, but you found a path forward.
And as the saying goes, life has a way of
throwing curveballs, but some of them actually can take a
positive turn. So here you are, you're on your way,
you're becoming a nurse, you're single parenting successfully. Tell us
(19:53):
about that curveball that turned positive.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
I know exactly what you're talking about. So I was
driving on the freeway to get to an activity and
my car blows up, literally blows up. The engine blows
up while I'm driving, and I hear all the parts
and pieces of the engine just fall down and make
(20:22):
tinkling sounds as I drive over. Very unnerving. So then
I had to figure out, Okay, how am I going
to get off the road, and luckily there was an
exit coming up. I still had steering, still have my brakes,
so did a lot of praying as I journeyed to
(20:45):
a gas station on the other side of the freeway,
and the lights turned green as I came up on it,
so I did not have to use my brakes at
all and was able to make it to the gas
station and park, So that was a blessing in itself. Now,
(21:05):
this occurred back before cell phones, so I had to
then figure out what to do, but luckily I had
change so use the telephone and called my dad first,
and he wasn't home. Then I called my brothers and
(21:27):
they weren't home. No one was available. But what had
occurred about a month before that was I was at
a dance and a guy took an interest in me,
and he gave me his phone number and said, if
(21:47):
you're ever in need of help, call me and I
will be there. So I took it with me and
just put in my wallet. Didn't worry about it because
I'm a single mom. I'm not gonna get involved with
any guys. I'm happy where I'm at. I did not
want to go through another trial with the spouse. But
(22:12):
my car blew up on the freeway. So here I
am and no one else is available, And so I
called him and he showed up with his best friend
and helped me out, literally helped me out. We got
my car to his friend's house, who lived a couple
(22:33):
miles down the road, and then he was taking me home.
And up to this point, transportation, you know, in Texas,
everything is wide in Texas, and it takes a car
to get to every place. And my world was hinging
(22:54):
upon a working vehicle. So now that it was it
had blown downy, what was I to do, and my
world was falling apart around me, because if I didn't
have a vehicle to get me to school and to
work and everywhere I needed to be, then the financial
(23:17):
aid and the assistance that I received would then stop.
And I needed that assistance to be able to take
care of my children, to be able to continue down
this road to become a nurse. So I started crying
(23:37):
in his car, and he asked me why was I crying?
And I said, well, because I've got to have a
working vehicle. I've got to get to work, i've got
to get to school, I've got to do everything that
I need to do, and without a vehicle, that is
(23:57):
going to really hurt me. And he says, you have
this vehicle, and sure that blew me away. You know,
he doesn't really know me, and yeah, he knows I
have three kids, but you know, to give a stranger
(24:21):
your vehicle was weird, but wonderful.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Weird and wonderful. What a combination of words, both weird
and wonderful. So this curveball that seemed like it was
gonna really tear your world apart in a horrific way,
really brought this man into your life. Now, your parents,
who helped spend your third child as a blessing and
(24:51):
got you in our support, you know, helped support you
emotionally and I'm sure many other ways as you start
life over from the ground up. What did they think
of this weird and wonderful man.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I think they liked him. I know my dad gave
him the sort of third degree when he finally arrived
on my doorstep before he would let him take me
out on a date. But they encouraged me to get
past my anger, to get past that emotional baggage that
(25:34):
my ex had dumped me with, and that was part
of the healing process, is to let go of all
that anger. You know, I did not want him to
have control over me anymore, and that included that anger
that I had, so I had to let it go,
(25:55):
and it was it was a empowering thing. I chose
to let it go, and that helped with my healings.
So here is this guy. My mom suggested. I'm a
big Under Siege fan with Stephen Slagall, and the new
(26:18):
Stephen Slagall movie was coming out, so I wanted to
go see that, but I didn't want to go by myself,
so my mom suggested I invite him, and that is
where it started, you know. Yeah, Oh, and I might
as well mention. After I got my car fixed, he
(26:39):
had bought me another used car that was newer and
better than what I had, And he said, he gave
me the new car, and he said, you will just
trade cars. I'll sell the old one, you keep the
new one. And that was weird and wonderful in itself too,
because now I had a better working vehic go one
(27:00):
with air conditioning, where's my old one didn't? And in
Texas you need air conditioning. So it was you know,
he had done multiple things, and I decided to take
my mom's advice and go out to a movie with him.
And of course, when he arrived at at my parents'
(27:24):
doorstep to pick me up, my dad did take him
to the side and had an interview with him first,
just to make sure he was a good guy. And
I appreciated that.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I'm sure he did so. I think your parents have
been pretty integral a few things here. But where is
mister wonderful with the weird and wonderful gestures? Now? Where
is he in your life now? Or is he he
is in my life?
Speaker 3 (27:54):
We are going on our thirty year wedding anniversary this
next month. So yes, it's been wonderful. He's sort of
part of the characters that are interspersed in my books
because you know, you do need weird and wonderful and
great supporting men in your life, and he's one of them.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
So I would like listeners here that they do exist,
because when I have women who've been in my support groups,
who've been through abusive or difficult relationships, they doubt that
weirdly wonderful men exist, and I tell them they do,
but you have to be open to seeing them and
(28:43):
receiving them, and that requires exactly what you just stated
so eloquently, letting go, letting go of anger, letting go
of that past so that you can receive what is
weirdly wonderful in front of you. Now. Doesn't mean that
trust comes easily, right, doesn't mean that someone courting you
(29:06):
is going to be the first one's going to be
authentic and true. So there's still a discernment that has
to come that we have to learn about. And it
sounds like that this worked out in such a beautiful thing.
So first of all, congratulations on that upcoming anniversary. Thirty
year anniversary to both of you. That's so awesomewhat a
(29:27):
gift in your life and that curveball that turned you
toward your husband. Now you and I both are Texas residents,
and Texas is known for many things, including beauty pageants.
So I believe that you shared with me that at
one point you actually participated in the Missus Texas pageant.
(29:52):
What inspired you to enter?
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Well, every year in January, I try to come up
with goals for myself what I want to accomplish that
year in different avenues, whether it be physical, spiritual, emotional, temporal.
What are my goals? So I sat down and work
(30:21):
that out for myself. And back in twenty ten, after
having my sixth child, I and of course that was
a few years earlier, but in twenty twenty ten, I
decided that I would you try to get back in shape,
(30:44):
try to work on speaking and some grace, which I
am at Klotz. And so the Texas Missus Texas pageant
was a way to culminate these these goals and make
(31:07):
it into something something I'm missing the word help me
out here, an accountability factor. I'm a strong believer in accountability,
so I during the twenty ten Missus Texas Pageant, and
(31:31):
there had some unique experiences Before the Missus Texas Pageant,
I really hated public speaking. It's still an issue for me,
but at least I have not started crying, which is
(31:51):
what happened at the Missus Texas Pageant. I was so overwhelmed,
broke down and cried. But I learned a few things
about myself that even in my weaknesses, I'm not perfect.
I'm okay as I am, and I can move forward
and continue to strive and progress on a daily basis,
(32:15):
and I don't have to be perfect. Because the outcome
of that was I won missus Congeniality, which I never expected.
But it was a great experience and I'm very grateful
for that opportunity.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yes, and I mean, of all titles, I think that
is the crowning title, Miss Congeniality. The world certainly needs
more congenial people and role models and examples of that.
So congratulations, I'm winning Miss Congeniality or missus Congeniality. I
(32:51):
love it it is I didn't break Oh what you got?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
That that slips I'm not doing a very good job show.
But let's see over here there. I am right there
in the middle.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I'll look it to you.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I love it in Charlie's Angels Pose. Now it is
time for our second break. When we come back, we're
going to talk about a curveball that didn't turn so
positive and then but what got you back into writing?
And we're going to get to those books really quickly,
so don't go far. We'll be back with more soul.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
CPR Doctor RC will share extraordinary resources and services that
promote educational success as well as making a difference in
the lives of all social workers as well as the
lives of children, adolescents and teens of today. She will
have open discussions addressing many of the issues that we
face about our youth and how being employed in the
(33:47):
uniquely skilled profession of social work for over eighteen years
has taught invaluable lessons through her personal experiences. She will
also provide real life facts, examples and personal stories that
will confirm that why serving as a child advocate is
extremely beneficial when addressing the needs of the whole child.
Listen Live to Dare to Soar Saturdays ten am Eastern
(34:09):
on the BBM Global Network and tune in radio as
Doctor RC will provide thought provoking information that will empower, encourage,
and strengthen students, families, and communities across our nation. You
can also visit her at soarwith Katie dot Com. Author,
(34:30):
radio show host and coach John M. Hawkins reveals strategies
to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals.
John M. Hawkins new book Coached to Greatness Unlock Your
Full Potential with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe, Hawkins
reveals strategies to help readers accomplish more. He believes the
(34:53):
book can coach them to greatness. Hawkins says that the
best athletes get to the top of their sport with
the help of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares guidance
that helps readers reflect on what motivates them. We discover
and assess their core values, philosophies and competencies, find settings
that allow them to be the most productive, and track
(35:15):
their progress towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John hawkins My
Strategy Saturdays one pm Eastern on the BBM Global Network
and tune in radio.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Hello and welcome back to SELCPR. Right here on Bold
Brave TV. I'm Anne Papaoti with Monica Flores my guest
today and we are talking about her story and we've
talked about curveballs that turn positive. But there was another curveball.
After life is going so well, but ask life tends
to go unpredictably for all of us. This next curveball
(35:55):
really changed your world again. Tell us a little bit
about what happened there.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
In twenty eleven, I was in a head on car
accident with a large truck on the other side of
the freeway. He had lost control of his vehicle and
it went through the median, which was cables and posts,
(36:27):
and went over into my lane, where the cables pulled
him back into the vehicle. I was a passenger in
and so it was a high speed head on collision
both you know, two vehicles and opposite directions, and I
(36:49):
took the rent of it. With that, my right wrist
was crushed as well as my left foot, and because
of that injury, I lost the use of my left
foot and so spent the next two years in a wheelchair,
(37:12):
which was difficult. You don't want to be dependent on
other people, but I became dependent upon a lot of
people and it was very difficult. But in twenty thirteen
(37:32):
doctor Sarah Suttle, who is a wonderful podiatrist in the area.
My husband talked me into going and seeing her, and
new technology had come out and she says, I can
rebuild your foot. And at first it was a shocket,
you know, after being to so many doctors that couldn't
(37:58):
fix me. And so we took her up on it
and it made a world of difference. And for that
next year, I spent the year learning how to walk again.
I can walk now. I can't run very well, and
it looks very funny, but I can walk, and that's
(38:19):
the important thing.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Absolutely absolutely. I you know, another dark time in your life,
but you were surrounded this time by love and didn't
have to escape anything, just had to escape maybe your
own thoughts about being dependent on other people and allow
(38:42):
the help that was built into your life already. And
I imagine that your perseverance and your resilience and the
journey through the pain that you were experienced physically, and
I'm sure emostly whatever darkness might have been there, but
also the growth is reflected in your characters. So tell
(39:05):
us about when writing became more than that initial way
of coping you shared with us at the beginning of
the show. When did you pick it back up?
Speaker 3 (39:17):
So, a few years after the injury, I ran across
the novel printed out. I ran across it in one
of my boxes and decided, well, let's see what we
can do with this and use this as one of
my goals for the year. So I rewrote the book,
(39:42):
and I got myself involved in the Killer Writers Association,
which is a writing group, and started that journey to
see what would happen with my stories. So it turns
out that the book of into one of resilience instead
(40:03):
of just copying, and so Amara's challenge was the first
one that I was able to get published. I went
down the indie road because the literature world they use
they determine what will be the next popular thing for
(40:27):
the next six months, and resiliency and fiction is probably
not one of those, nor will it ever be one
of those that will be popular genres. So I went
down the indie road thanks to some wonderful friends, and
(40:48):
got my first book published back in twenty twenty, and
then two years later did my second book to see
if I could do it again. Yeah, and then this
one was just released in November about October, take that
(41:09):
back October twenty fifth. So three wonderful books that have
resulted from my experiences.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I'm amazing, I am reading, and I have in my
hands Amara's Challenge right here. Would you mind opening Amara's
Challenge and reading that beautiful quote from Elizabeth Coogler Ross
and talk to us about that quote and why you
chose it.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
So before I before Mar's Challenge became a book, but
I was working on it. I was trying to just
see how figure out how to write this book and
what to do with it. And I ran across this
(42:05):
quote in Barnes and Noble from Elizabeth Coopler Ross, and
I bought it. The most beautiful people are those who
have known defeat, non suffering, non struggle, known loss, and
have found their way out of the depths. These persons
(42:26):
have an appreciation of sensitivity and an understanding of life
that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep, loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen. And I totally agree
with that, and it is that quote has become an
(42:50):
important part of my life and it is in all
my books. Because you don't need to be the most beautiful.
You don't need to be able to run, you don't
need to be able to be perfect. You need to
be you and to move forward. And that's what this
life is about, is overcoming your obstacles, your challenges and
(43:13):
becoming better.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I love it. I love it. And for those who
may not be aware. Elizabeth Koopler Ross, whom you quote,
and I'd never heard this quote before from her, but
I do quote her a lot in my work, is
the Swiss American psychiatrist who's so well known for her
(43:37):
book on death and dying and her work and her
model of the state five stages of grief. And that's
where I think so many people, what many of us
are familiar with, So thank you for sharing that with us.
In Amar's challenge, which I'm totally drawn into her world
by the way, I love it. I think anybody who
(44:01):
I think anybody can enjoy this at this book, I
really really do.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
So.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
After Amara, what or who inspired those next two books?
Zeven Palla, so Amara.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Was if I can do it? And then Zeeva was
can I do it again? Can I actually do this?
So this became another goal of mine. Can I am
I a real writer, or is it just a fluke
that the first one happened? And so Zeva's challenges from
(44:37):
that and within that book and writing it, I got
through the first half of it and then had writer's block.
So for writers, that means you can't see a way
to move the story forward. And so I was like, well,
(44:58):
maybe you know, those doubts come, maybe I can't do this,
Maybe it was a floke. But I spoke with other
writers and they said, keep writing, keep moving forward, keep writing.
You can always edit, but keep trying to move forward.
And so I did. And because of that perseverance, that's
(45:20):
how Zeba's challenge came out. And it's a wonderful story
and I see a lot of my husband and the
main character live is the main guy there. It's awesome.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
Wow. So if we go back to something you shared
earlier in the show, you were talking about you know,
I think what led you into the Miss Texas pageant
it was you had started setting these goals and all
how important has goals setting been both to your healing
and your writing success.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Mobbles are important. I think they are very important for
each individual to create your own goals. You need to
set goals for yourself, look for hope and faith and
move forward. Set your dreams, reach your dreams. And the
only way to do that is by setting little, small
(46:22):
goals to get there.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
I imagine even just when you had to learn to
walk again, it was one small step at a time, Right.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
You know? Can I take three steps? Can I take five?
Let's try for ten? You know? Can I walk to
the car? You know? Can? You know? Just keep working
at it, keep working at it. And you know, if
it wasn't for me keeping working at each of these goals,
(46:57):
I would never be to where I am now. And
of course, goals will continue to be a big part
of my life as I continue to move forward on
this journey of my life. But I am the heroin
in my book, in my life story, and each of
us can be the heroin in our lives by moving forward,
(47:18):
by having hope, by having faith, and keep progressing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yeah, faith over fear is what I say, because it's
fear that we'll keep us stuck and hold us back
from our best lives at every time, right, every time? Well,
I appreciate your sharing that about goals. As a coach,
that's something I work with clients. Every client we're going
to work on goals at some point in our journey
(47:47):
together and our partnership. A lot of people have trouble
seeing the big vision first or the big picture, and
then it may be overwhelming for them. They can't figure
out the how to get there. And that's why goals
are so important to like you say, and thank you
for describing that little successes along the way, And when
(48:09):
people say it's not the destination's really the journey, that's
when you look back and you go, wow, look what
I did, right, yeah, wow, wow, indeed, wow, indeed. All right, Well,
we are going to take our final break at this point,
and when we come back, we're going to wrap it
up with how people can get into buy these lovely,
(48:33):
wonderful books of yours. We'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
Thanks.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent, but you're not sure
how I'm Family d Wilson join me for the Carrying
(49:01):
Generation radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings,
six Pacific, seven Mountain, eighth Central, and nine Eastern, where
I answer these questions and share tips for managing stress,
family relationships, health, wellbeing and more. Podcasts and transcripts of
The Carrying Generation are on my website Pamela Dwilson dot com,
(49:21):
plus my Caregiving Library. Online caregiver support programs and programs
for corporations interested in supporting working caregivers. Help, hope and
support for caregivers is here on The Carrying Generation and
Pamela d Wilson dot com.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
Mike Zorich a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike blind
six birth, was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling
(49:57):
twice at one hundred and fifty two talents. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zurich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune her natural abilities, influenced her
(50:20):
decision to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zurich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
And we're back, Monica. Thank you so much for being
here today and sharing your life's journey with us, and
in such an honest and an open way. I greatly
appreciate it, and I know our listeners do as well.
If you had a key takeaway message for the audience,
(51:00):
what would it be.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
Don't give up. Don't give up on yourself, keep moving forward.
The joy we fail has little to do with our circums,
with the circumstances of our lives, and everything to do
with the focus of our lives. So focus on the positive.
Focus on the things that are going right in your life,
(51:23):
Focus on your dreams, focus on your future. Move forward.
You can do this, and you can be the heroine
of your own story.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
I love it and going back to your parents using
the word blessings. And then I heard you use the
word blessings several times today as we were talking, and
I think that's I think, notice your blessings because sometimes
when we are going through difficult times, we're so looking
(51:53):
down that we forget to look up and to see
what's right in our lives. As you said, so notice
the blessings in your life and call them out and
be grateful for them. Indeed, so again, Dan, would you
mind putting up the Crisis in Suicide Lifeline and the
domestic violence hotline? Thank you so again. If you are struggling,
(52:18):
you do not have to go through it alone. Crisis
and Suicide Lifeline call or text nine to eight eight
Domestic Violence Hotline. I know a lot of people minimize
their experience. They don't recognize abuse for what it is.
As Monica described was her situation is often a slow breakdown,
(52:40):
starts insidious in such an insidious way, but it escalates.
The hotline dot org call one eight hundred and seventy
ninety nine Safe that's seven two three three or text
start to eight eight seven eight eight. There are advocates
of available to guide you and help you, and there
(53:03):
are other resources that you can browse on their website.
As this episode of Soul CPR comes to a close today,
remember that healing is not a linear journey, but rather
a process of profound transformation. So if today's stories resonated
with you, please share this podcast with those who might
(53:23):
need a lifeline of their own. Subscribe, rate and leave
a review to help us reach more hearts. We greatly
appreciate it, and Manica tell us how our listeners can
connect with you or contact You.
Speaker 3 (53:38):
Can reach me through Monica Flores dot Monica floresauthor dot
com and that's a great way to do it. These
books are amazing. They're great reads, great for teenagers, anybody
who's struggling. Sorry I'm doing the wrong one, but try
and show all the books. They're great reads, lots of adventure.
(54:04):
Anybody who's read it has really enjoyed them. And I
hope that you will go out and reach them at
or get them at Amazon dot com or Amazon should
be just say Amazon. Uh, they're on Amazon and you
can search for them on the world Wide Web as well.
Speaker 2 (54:28):
Wonderful and I'm glad you said they're great for teenagers.
Because they are, and they're they're clean reads, they're exciting reads,
and I think they would probably be in the jew
in the JV section right if they were on a bookshelf.
So all right again that will all that information will
be in the show notes as well if you are listening,
(54:49):
so you know how to now connect with with Monica.
So please check her out her social media and connect
with her and and grab one of these books. It's
we're coming up on the holidays. Make a great gift
for someone in your life or for yourself. And as always,
you can connect with me on my social media on
Facebook It's Guide You Coaching, or on LinkedIn, Instagram and
(55:14):
x AT and Papayode. Let me know your thoughts, your
stories and the topics you'd like to explore more on
future episodes. Until next time, May you, like all of
Monica's characters, find strength in your vulnerability and courage in
your journey. Thank you for listening. Till next time. Breathe deeply,
love openly, and live selfilly. Good day.
Speaker 1 (55:38):
This has been Soul CPR with host and Papa Yode.
Breathe life back into your spirit with each episode where
she and special guests explore the relationships that hurt us,
and discover that healing can only begin with you. Tuesdays
at three pm Eastern on the Bold Brave TV Network
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!