February 4, 2025 • 49 mins
"Letting go is only the first step. The real magic happens when we learn to trust what comes next. In Part 3 of The Art and Science of Letting Go, we’ll delve into the transformative power of trust—trust in yourself, in the unknown, and in life’s ability to surprise you in the best ways. How do we stop clinging to control and start believing in the process, even when the future feels murky? Join us as we explore practices to cultivate trust, share inspiring stories of resilience, and uncover the hidden beauty of life’s unfolding. This episode is your invitation to embrace what’s waiting for you on the other side of letting go.”
#SoulCPR #lettinggo #trusttheprocess #faithoverfear #trust #letgoofcontrol #healingjourney #podcastforhealing #newbeginnings #mindsetshift
#SoulCPR #lettinggo #trusttheprocess #faithoverfear #trust #letgoofcontrol #healingjourney #podcastforhealing #newbeginnings #mindsetshift
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Are you ready to untangle from your past, recover from heartbreak,
and revive your life. This is Soul CPR with your
host and Papa Yode. We've all had soul crushing experiences
and lost ourselves and our pain, but there is a
way out. On this podcast, Amazon best selling author, award
winning life coach and advice columnist and Papa Yode helps
(00:27):
us navigate the path from heartbreak to healing. So now
please welcome the host of Soul CPR and Papa Yode.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Hello, and thank you for tuning in today. I'm delighted
you've joined me for today's conversation. But before we get
into today's topic, I have some follow up from our
previous episode. I've had several people reach out to me
following last week's show with Sarah Smart and on our
Behalf and all of you victims. Thank you for your
(01:01):
outpouring of love and support and also pride in her
healing success. I did want to say out loud thank
you to her high school coach who noticed and spoke
up and tried to stand up for her to create
an intervention. Now, if you remember from her story, Sarah
(01:23):
was scared and never went back to school, but I
had a conversation with Sarah just a few minutes ago,
and she actually said that it was the first time
that she actually felt like somebody cared and noticed. Right now,
she I applaud that coach, and I know that Sarah
(01:47):
was probably scared, and she talked about during the show
having protected her abusers and all of this. But I
also wondered after the show, what would any of us
do if we noticed a child that might be neglected
or abused. So I wanted us to know that in
the United States, you can get information and assistance by
(02:09):
calling or texting the Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline
at one eight hundred four two two four four five three,
or call your local police and let them investigate a
situation you may have concern about. Now she was talking about,
(02:29):
you know, at the time, there was no CPS or whatever.
If a child didn't speak up or or agree for help,
it was just sort of ignored it and maybe brushed
under the rug. But that's not the case now now.
I don't know if Sarah also ever got the apology
she is to you. She did get a message from
(02:50):
her father last week after the show that he hoped
that by sharing her story with us, she found some healing.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Sarah also so.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Told me that he had apologized for everything she went
through with him, but that's not the same thing as
taking responsibility for being at one's hands, right. She said
her mom never apologized or took responsibility, but did say
(03:22):
at that dinner that Sarah was able to take her
to not long before her passing, that was the first
time her mother ever told her she loved her, and
that Sarah still struggles with that concept of love to
this day, as you can imagine, because if that's a
definition of love, then what does that mean considering how
(03:46):
she was treated growing up. And she said that she
still accepts as love things that other people who had normal, healthy,
real relationships never would. She said that she is still
trying to sort through a lot of this, that she's
just now really in her forties, starting to come to
(04:07):
terms and start starting to comprehend everything that happened in
her life, and that she is just now that diagnoses
that she revealed, she's just now that's just now happening.
So this healing journey is really just now happening. The
successes came because she stood up and took determination and
(04:27):
made decisions. She said she had people her whole life
color she wasn't going to make it should be nothing
but trash and this and that because of the way
she was raised. And she said she asked these people now,
why and she said, because it would you ever get
beyond that and passed it. But she said the bigger
(04:49):
question for her now is why did you not help me?
And she actually sees these people as contributing to the
abuse because they did not enterving no book body stood
up and took it a step further even though they knew.
(05:11):
So again, if you have awareness or even suspicion of
child neglect or abuse, call notify someone in local authority.
All right, with that, let's get back to today. Episodes
forty one and forty two are the first two in
(05:32):
the series that led us to want more discussion after
some scheduled guests on Letting Go, And interestingly, letting Go
is about trust and attachment and control and things that
we have addressed with guests since those first two episodes
in different ways since starting the series. And we began
(05:54):
the series talking about emotional drivers love your anger, and
that those keep us holding on to what no longer
serves us, and we talked about barriers to letting go,
including habits and detachments, memories, and the natural human resistance
(06:18):
to change. In Part two, we address the weight of
guilt and regret after letting go, that emotional aftermath that
so many of us are not prepared for. Once we've
made the decision and even taken the action to let go,
we talked about and shared why those feelings linger and
(06:41):
how to move through them to find peace and freedom on.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
The other side.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Now, today we're going to come full circle to conclude
the art and science of letting go, freeing yourself for
a fulfilling life, and we're going to address shifting mindset
from control to trust. What does that mean? It means
really accepting uncertainty in life? Does uncertainty make you uncomfortable?
(07:13):
If so, what does the word faith mean to you?
Is it only associated with religion or spirituality or can
faith also mean trusting what you're not certain of will
turn out okay? And can it simply mean believing without
(07:37):
seeing a guarantee or trusting that all is working for
you and not against you. And for some of us,
an outer faith, religion or spiritual is an anchor that
helps us and is intertwined in this ability to let
(07:57):
go of uncertainty, and yet we fail to draw from
it in everyday circumstances. Regardless, Let's start with the notion
that letting go requires shifting from a mindset of control
to trust.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Let's just start.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
There, shall we, So with that letting go isn't just
about releasing people or circumstances or expectations. It's about trusting
that even in uncertainty, we are safe. Yet trust does
not come easily, especially for those of us who have
(08:41):
relied on control as a way to protect ourselves. The
science of it is that control is often our brain's
way of creating safety and predictability, and since childhood, our
nervous system has learned to kick into high alert when
things feel uncertain, and if we've experienced trauma, abandonment, or betrayal,
(09:05):
the need for control can become even stronger. It feels
like the only way to avoid getting hurt again.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Now, we talked about.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Betrayal, trauma, and trust with Doctor Yasmin in episode number
forty four, so you may want to go back and
have a listen to that one. If you've not done
so yet, Think of someone who constantly plans everything, like
(09:35):
on the level of even what to say in a
conversation before the conversation has even happened, or you know
what to do in case of an emergency not a
bad thing right, or how to keep people happy. It
may look like perfectionism or over responsibility, but underneath it's
(09:57):
often fear. Does this sound like you or someone you know?
And when you think of it that way, the truth
is control is an illusion, and no matter how much
we plan, life remains unpredictable, doesn't it, And so clinging
(10:21):
to control doesn't prevent uncertainty, It just exhausts us. So
think about it for a minute. What is one area
of your life where you feel you need to control everything?
And what would it feel like just to release a
(10:45):
little bit of that control. Would you decrease a little
bit of anxiety, a little bit of stress in your life?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It would be free?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Or does it give you more stress and anxiety to
think about letting go of control a little bit? Be
honest with yourself, assess it just a bit. I find
that we often believe that if we control everything, we
can prevent pain and disappointment, or I don't know, perhaps
(11:21):
failure but in reality, control is just a coping mechanism.
It does not change outcomes. And in the end, as
we learned with doctor Yasmin, with trust comes risk, and
without risk, perhaps you could say, and actually people do
(11:42):
say no reward. After all, we're saying today that letting
go leads to life fulfillment. Right, But back to control
for safety and security. An example maybe to think of
imagining someone if maybe you don't have to imagine too greatly,
(12:07):
maybe you do this checking their partners texts or social media.
Out of fear of betrayal. They believe if they monitor
everything they can prevent heartbreak, but in doing so they
only create anxiety, resentment, and emotional exhaustion, doubting everything, questioning everything,
(12:28):
could it be?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Is this a sign of betrayal? But here's a truth
bomb for you.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Surrendering control does not mean giving up. It means accepting
that we're not meant to micromanage every outcome? Can we
really micromanage fate? And when we stop gripping so tightly
(12:55):
we allow life to unfold in ways we never expected.
So try this on for size. A shift in perspective.
Instead of asking how can I control this? Try asking
how can I trust that everything is going to work
(13:17):
out as it's meant to? Now, I know that's easier
said than done. It feels counterintuitive, right, But the more
we let go, the more power we actually gain. Why
because when we stop forcing things, we free up energy
(13:38):
for what truly matters. It's time for our first break
in the show. But don't go far. When we come back,
we're going to pick up right there with some real
life examples to try to convince you to let go
of control and replace it with trust.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Be right back.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Mica Zorika three time California state champion in Greco Roman
wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike Blind six
birth was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a six
time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and two fourths.
He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling twice at
(14:18):
one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all these tournaments,
he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zurich a creative
spirit whose talents have taken her to the stage and
into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father, a
commercial artist who shared his instruments with his daughter and
helped her fine tune. Her natural abilities influenced her decision
(14:41):
to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zurich has enjoyed a
fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings at
twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for heartwarming
stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent but you're not sure how?
(15:20):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships, health,
wellbeing and more. Podcasts and transcripts of the Carrying Generation
are on my website, Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus my
(15:44):
Caregiving Library Online Caregiver support programs and programs for corporations
interested in supporting working caregivers. Help, hope and support for
caregivers is here on the Carrying Generation and Pamela d
Wilson dot com.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
And welcome back to sol CPR. We are talking about
letting go to really free your life up to be
more rewarding and fulfilling. So when you think of letting go,
what does it feel like? Does it do you feel
angst or do you feel freedom? Well, a lot of
people think about it and they actually feel fearful or
(16:28):
they feel like maybe it's giving up before they try
harder and harder and harder. So think about a time
when you may be held onto something a relationship or
a job, or maybe even a belief because you feared
the unknown. This comes up a lot in my practice.
(16:51):
Maybe you've heard the saying the devil I know is
better than the one I don't. And the more you
resisted change, the more painful.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
It became.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You know, the relationship you were in, the job, you
were in, the belief you held onto, But the moment
you let go, even if the letting go was scary
or terrifying, clarity and peace actually followed. So do you
have an example in your own life of that. I'm
(17:27):
sure you do if you think back, you know, Minus
let go of his blanket.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
I wonder.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
But anyway, strength isn't always about controlling every detail. It's
about trusting that even if things don't go as planned,
you'll be okay. That's where the trust has to come in,
and that's the strength, is believing in yourself that you're
going to be okay regardless of the outcome.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Let's take the.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Story of Serena, a woman who spent years in an
emotionally toxic relationlationship. Now, Serena stayed because she thought leaving
meant failure. That was a belief and interpretation she had
about giving up if you will, and that if she
only tried harder, she could fix things. And she controlled
(18:17):
every aspect of her life to avoid confrontation. So she
walked on eggshells and suppressed her own needs in the relationship,
and deep down she knew she had to let go,
but fear of the unknown kept her stuck or trapped
for her words. In this relationship, she had thoughts like
(18:42):
what if I never find love again? Or what if
I regret leaving? Well, eventually, one day, After months of
self reflection, Serena made the terrifying decision to leave, and
at first she felt lost, but something un it expected happened.
Over time, she found herself, She built confidence in her
(19:09):
ability to navigate life on her own, and she discovered
that trust, rather than control, was the real foundation of
a fulfilling life. Now, looking back, she wonders why she
waited so long and what she once saw as a
loss turned out to be her greatest gain. And I
(19:33):
share Serena's story because it's the same story of so many,
is it not many who've stayed in a relationship well
past its expiration date. Just last night in my support group,
a woman named Isabelle shared her story and gave me
(19:53):
permission to share today with you. She recently went through
a devastating divorce and the selling of a home that
she had poured her heart and soul into. She said
she had cried for two years after knowing the relationship
was headed to divorce, feeling helpless, like with no control
(20:13):
of the fact that they were still living in the
same home. Yet he was moving forward in life and
she had the inability to even pick herself up at
this point. But Eventually what began with a decision, She
started picking herself up and everything that she had been
(20:35):
criticized for previously she challenged in her own thinking and
reclaimed her.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
She got her own assessment of the home before selling it,
educated herself on finances, and while letting go of the
house was something that had to be grieved, she found
a new one in her budget within a week of
selling the home that she had loved for so long,
(21:07):
and this new one she absolutely adores and loves. I
asked what she had to let go of for all
of this to happen, and there were two parts to
her answer.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
One fear.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Fear had almost held her back but ultimately did not.
Fear almost held her back from visiting an open house
and being prepared to offer and negotiate on a new
home for herself. And the second thing she had to
let go of was the belief that life's dreams were
supposed to happen As a couple. She said she'd spent
(21:43):
her whole life waiting for others to go for her
dreams and instead either had her dreams criticized or not
realized at all. So congratulations Isabelle, how does it feel
to be off the sidelines and in the game of
your own life?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
In a sense?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Having to be a couple because of culture, religion, or
some ingrained expectation that has been set for you has
created a way to control and set a certainty in life,
perhaps right, but at what cost? And in the end,
with the freedom of choice by her partner to dissolve
(22:30):
the marriage, the control structure was blown apart like a
good old Kansas tornado.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But letting go of.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Control as your own choice can feel unsettling, especially if
we've relied on it for a sense of safety. Right,
But true security does not come from controlling the outcomes.
It comes from trusting what we are strong enough.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
To handle.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
That comes our way. Now my website, I have three
words survive, strive, thrive, and that is a series of
things that happens. As something unexpected happens in our life,
or we make a decision that something has to change
(23:19):
in our life, we first have to survive the storm
and then strive to clear the path. So once we survive,
because if we don't survive, nothing else matters, right, But
then we have to strive to clear the path and
that's the work in front of you, just like Isabel
did with educating herself and then challenging and clarifying her
(23:39):
own thoughts and beliefs and then enjoying the time of
thriving with gratitude. And that's the stage she is moving
towards now, and that time of thriving only comes with
trusting in so many ways. But life doesn't work out
(24:05):
on our schedule, does it. No, it doesn't unfold per
a plan or per timing. So that waiting, the uncertainty
and the unexpected detours, if you will, can feel unbearable,
(24:26):
especially when we desperately want change or healing or that
clarity that we were talking about before. But so what
if the timing that we resist is actually working in
our favor?
Speaker 3 (24:46):
What if?
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Now? We often associate progress with action, so when things
feel stagnant or delayed, it's easy to believe that nothing
is happened. And uncertainty can then be terrifying because it's
going to trigger our survival instincts. And then again we're
(25:09):
gonna want to do what we're going to want to
control because we need that security and that predictability, especially
where when we're operating that survival instinct. The science of
why waiting feels so hard is the brain is craving
certainty and dislikes the unknown. Just like we said before,
(25:30):
we fear that we're being left behind while others be forward.
Can you imagine Isabelle living in the home with her husband.
They're divorcing, She's crying every day and he's going out
on the pan. We assume that if something hasn't happened
(25:50):
yet for us though, that it never will. But in reality,
just because you don't see movement doesn't mean nothing is happening.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Growth. Think about it.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Growth often happens beneath the surface, just like a seed
buried in the soil before it breaks.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Through the ground. I've got more.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Examples for you from real client life experiences that I'm
going to share with you that I'm sure are relatable
for you. But we're going to take our second break.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Doug A. Farr will be back with more sol CPR.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Doctor RC will share extraordinary resources and services that promote
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skilled profession of social work for over eighteen years has
(26:57):
taught invaluable lessons through her personal experiences. She will also
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Live to Dare to Soar Saturday's ten am Eastern on
the BBM Global Network and tune in radio as Doctor
(27:20):
RC will provide thought provoking information that will empower, encourage
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radio show host and coach John M. Hawkins reveals strategies
(27:40):
to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals.
John M. Hawkins new book Coached to Greatness Unlock Your
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(28:03):
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(28:26):
Strategy Saturdays one pm Eastern on the BBM Global Network
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Speaker 2 (28:35):
Welcome back everyone, you're tuned into Bold Brave TV. I'm
an Papaoti and.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
This is sole CPR.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
So we're talking about letting go, and that means letting
go of control, and that means relying on trust. And
I'm sharing some client circumstances that I feel most of
us can relate to. I have another client who's much
much younger, and it's amazing how we all have the
(29:03):
same situations when it comes to love. And she really
was focused and desperately wanting to find love and been
on countless dates feeling frustrated that things really weren't working out,
and started questioning herself, you know, am I unlovable? Whyever
I meet the right person? But waiting well is a
(29:26):
concept that I tried to instill in my clients, and
eventually she was able to adopt this too, and she
unknowingly did the most important work during this waiting well
period and started looking at past wounds, which is something
else that I have everyone do, and healing those wounds
(29:49):
and recognizing she was bringing those into current relationships, and
during this waiting well period started building herself worth and
getting clear on what she truly wanted.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
That what was going wrong wasn't about him.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
She was often looking at what he was doing wrong,
and she started recognizing it was really that she wasn't
ready for a relationship because she had this work to
do on herself and that delay, she was able to
reframe and realize that it wasn't a punishment, it was
(30:27):
a preparation period. And when she had that kind of
aha insight, totally let go of having to be in
a relationship and find the right person and is doing
amazingly well. She's actually going to be a guest on
the show later. I actually it's next month, I believe,
and we're going to talk about dating in her stage
(30:49):
of life, which is mid twenties. Now, what if life's
delays weren't roadblocks, but redirections, just like hers. Often what
feels like rejection or failure is actually the universe moving
us towards something better. Yeah, so reframing is something we
(31:13):
do in coaching a lot. So what if we reframed
our setbacks instead of thinking something like this isn't happening
for me? What if we tried a thought like like,
maybe I'm being redirected for something even better? And what
can I learn? And that question needs to be asked
every time? What can I learn from this pause? Instead
(31:36):
of feeling left behind? Remind yourself everyone's timeline is different
and my path is unfolding exactly as it should. And
that sounds like what trust? Trusting that everything is working
out for you and not against you. So when it
(31:57):
comes to healing, ask me often when while I feel better,
I'm tired of hurting, this is overwhelming, et cetera. I
encourage anyone hurting emotionally to recognize that it takes time
and patience to heal emotional wounds just like physical wounds.
(32:21):
So rather than ask, when ask the what questions, what
am I learning now? It's a shift in your focus
away from your pain to your gain right, and I
promise every time you lose something, you gain something else,
just like in one of the case studies I mentioned earlier.
(32:45):
It just isn't always apparent right away, but there's always
a gain when you lose or choose to let go now.
Healing never happens in one big moment, does it?
Speaker 3 (33:02):
And Isabelle can attest for that.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
It's slow and gradual. It's in those moments when you
recognize you laughed out loud for the first time in
a long time, or when the mention of someone's name
didn't cause tears to roll down your cheeks for the
first time in a long time. It's a process of time,
(33:31):
so be patient with yourself. However, this helps cultivate trust
in yourself in faith when you loud this time and patience.
You cannot have trust without faith, which is the ultimate
letting go of certainty, is it not? Choosing faith over
(33:56):
fear is something one of my clients that I talk
about often, right tom And when you're aware you have
the option and the power of choice, Wow, it makes
a difference. You have the option of faith over fear,
and when you're aware of that, you claim the power
(34:16):
of choice to choose it now. Sometimes what we want
isn't actually right for us, is it? And then life
steps in to protect us from something we can't yet see.
And what may feel like missed opportunity might actually be
saving us from something misaligned. So how do we trust
(34:39):
the redirection?
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Right? So reflect on.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Pastimes when something didn't work out and later you were
grateful for it. I think there's a country song about
unanswered prayers. Right, remind yourself, if it meant for me,
it will come in the right way at the right time.
That's trust. That sounds like trust, not fear. Let go
(35:06):
of forcing and focus on flowing. Trust that what is
truly yours will not.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Pass you by.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
And yes, Maria s I'm thinking of you right now. Okay,
So let go forcing and focus on flowing. That's what's
truly yours will not pass you by, whether it's a person,
a property, or anything else. Trusting life's timing means believing
(35:37):
that things are happening for you even when you don't
see those immediate results. So the challenge is to remain
to remain open to trust that delays and setbacks and
redirections are all part of a bigger, better plan unfolding
in ways you can't see, and that, my friends, is faith.
(36:00):
I want to actually invite you all to participate in
a challenge, and I want you to have fun with it.
Let's call it the twenty four hour What did I
call it? The surrender experiment? Okay, here's the challenge for
the next twenty four hours. That's all, consciously let go
(36:26):
of control over one thing that normally triggers stress or anxiety.
For you, you accept my challenge. This is mission possible,
not impossible. This could be letting go of a letting
go of trying to overanalyze a conversation, just let it be.
(36:50):
It could be releasing frustration in traffic delays or unexpected changes.
It could be letting go of trusting an unresolved situation,
just trusting that it's going to work itself out without
a forced solution.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Something like that.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
All right, the next twenty four hours, constantly let go
of control over one thing that normally triggers stress or anxiety.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
What is it for you?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
How to participate in the challenge? Three things, one setting intention. Today,
I choose to trust, I release the need to control.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Bill in the blank.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
And then I want you to observe your reactions. Notice
when your mind wants to control, plan, or fix whatever
this is, and instead of reacting, pause and choose to trust.
Third thing is then to reflect and share at the
end of the day, either journal or voice record what happened,
(37:55):
did anything unexpected unfold? Were you able to let it go?
Were able to intercept yourself and feel the control starting
to happen, and then let it go? If you're comfortable,
share your experience with us by putting comments on this
(38:16):
show wherever you listen or watch or download, and hashtag
trust the process and tag me at an Papalloti and
at sol CPR, put it anywhere on social media, wherever
you want to do it. I'm very excited to see
what happens for you if you allow yourself this opportunity
to truly trust the process and observe yourself for twenty
(38:40):
four hours now. The biggest trust challenge for many I
work with is trusting themselves. Because they feel they've met
made bad choices throughout their lives. They question their judgment
(39:03):
and they fear making the same mistakes again, or believe
they're incapable of choosing wisely in anything but self. Trust
isn't always about making perfect choices. It's about learning to
trust that you can handle whatever comes your way, as
(39:25):
I mentioned before, no matter the outcome. But it also
starts with self awareness and then it builds to self
mastery and it's all wrapped up in self love and
self trust is possible, people, But it starts with small stebs.
(39:45):
And I'm going to give you a few little tips
for that, because I hear the doubt through the air
ways of self trust after bad decisions. But the first
thing you can do is start by reframing those bad.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Decisions as lessons and not failures.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Okay, don't let your past define your future. So let's
take those bad decisions reframe them as lessons and not failures.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
That's growth.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Okay, Then separate the past from the present. That shows
your growth. What would you do differently now if you
were in the same circumstances if they presented themselves again
for some reason, show yourself the lessons, prove to yourself
the growth that you have had. Start with some small
(40:36):
acts of self trust. You know, when we're with doctor Yasmin,
we talked about trust is consistency over time, small consistent,
repeated acts over time, same thing to build it for yourself.
But small acts of self trust may look like check
(40:58):
with yourself before you check with other people about something.
Are you someone who always has to have other people's
validation and opinions to make a decision? Stop that instead,
ask yourself, what do you? What do I think? What
do I feel? Learn how to do gut checks. That's
(41:23):
how we're gonna start checking in with our intuition. Make
those small little commitment. Keep those small commitments to yourself.
What commitments do you have it if you don't have any,
make them like a bedtime routine, a morning routine.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
And habits.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
What are your habits that you want to commit to,
and keep those commitments to yourself. Reward yourself. That's an
act of self love for keeping commitments to yourself. Make
peace with those imperfect choices from the past, So offering
forgiveness to yourself. That's an active self compassion. This is
(42:00):
going to build trust with yourself. I think that I
think that one thing that I would do, and I've
done it with people in coaching sessions, is visualizing your
future self trusting you now you're growing to this person.
(42:22):
So seeing yourself as strong and confident and happy, making
strong solid decisions. So seeing yourself as the person that
you want to become is important. That's the power of visualization. Listen,
Every choice that you make with awareness and self compassion
(42:44):
encourage brings yourself closer to trusting yourself again and again,
letting go of that control of the outcome, but knowing
that you can come through it whatever it is. Will
continue on that feeling segment. It is time for our
third and final break, and when we come back, some
(43:05):
final and closing thoughts for you.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Don't go far. We'll be back with more sol CPR.
Speaker 4 (43:13):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent but you're not sure how.
(43:33):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central, and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships,
health wellbeing and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The Carrying
Generation are on my website Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus
(43:56):
my caregiving library. Online caregiver support programs and programs for
corporations interested in supporting working caregivers. Help, hope and support
for caregivers is here on The Carrying Generation and Pamela
Dwilson dot com.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Mike Zorich a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike blind
SI's birth was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veteran's Folk Style Wrestling
(44:33):
twice at one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zorich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist, who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune. Her natural abilities influenced her
(44:56):
decision to follow in his footsteps, Miss Zorich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
And we're back for the final segment.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Listeners, Whether you accept the.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Twenty four hour challenge or not, I'd like to encourage
you to take some time this week to ask yourself
and spend some time in reflection. But where in life
am I holding on to tightly? And what would happen
if I trust it?
Speaker 3 (45:37):
Instead?
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Letting go is always life's lesson for freedom. Give it
a try, create a daily affirmation or journaling exercise to
reinforce trust in life's unfolding path. Now, when we're talking
about Isabelle's story and others in here, I want to
emphasize that he is not passive. That's why when I
(46:04):
say survive, strive, thrive, strive in the middle, that's really
the work. Healing takes work, and there's a willingness question
that people have to ask themselves to get in and
do the work. But it leads to thriving. I've seen
so much of it I'm so proud of the people
that have come across my path and have been able
(46:25):
to do that. And sometimes just asking for help is
that first step, and it can take courage, I know.
But if you find that you need more personalized and
guided help with letting go of something or someone, then
don't hesitate to reach out. You can go to my
website Skyviewcoaching dot com and schedule a complimentary half hour
discovery session so we can have a conversation to help
(46:48):
determine which of several coaching options may be best for
you at this time in your life. I have a
twelve week online sol CPR course and I have an
eight week sole CPR private on one coaching program, and
those are just two options that take you through healing
steps in a deep dive way. Guided journaling is also
helpful for people in different situations and scenarios, and in
(47:12):
my co author book The Gift of Shift, Tracy and
I cheer short personal stories illustrating difficult common life themes
and how we shifted our perspective in each to not
change our circumstances that would be trying to control life right,
but to change how we were able to experience them.
And each chapter is followed by five coaching questions for
(47:34):
the reader to reflect on how the theme has played
out in their own life so that they can become
unstuck in a current situation, or so that they can
remember and recall their strengths to help them move through
a different but current circumstance. Things include betrayal, grief, diagnosis, hope,
being your own best friend and more so we've got
(47:56):
those in the show notes for you. And as always,
as this episode of Soul CPR is coming to a close,
remember that healing is not a linear journey, but rather
a process of profound transformation, and it requires your cooperation
to heal. If today's stories resonated with you, share this
(48:19):
podcast with those who might need a lifeline of their own, Subscribe,
rate and leave a review to help us reach more hearts.
We greatly appreciate that. Again, you can connect with me
on social media on Facebook at Skyview Coaching, Instagram, LinkedIn
and x It's at and papiote. Let me know your thoughts,
your stories, and the topics you'd like to explore in
(48:39):
future episodes, and do let us know how this challenge
went for you. If you participate and until next time,
maybe find strength in your vulnerability and courage in your journey.
I thank you for listening. Breath deeply, love openly, and
live sulfully.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
This has been Soul CPR with host and Papa Yode
Breathe life back into your spirit with each episode where
she and special guests explore the relationships that hurt us
and discover that healing can only begin with you. Tuesdays
at three pm Eastern on the Bold Brave TV Network.
Are you ready to untangle from your past, recover from heartbreak,
and revive your life. This is Soul CPR with your
host and Papa Yode. We've all had soul crushing experiences
and lost ourselves and our pain, but there is a
way out. On this podcast, Amazon best selling author, award
winning life coach and advice columnist and Papa Yode helps
(00:27):
us navigate the path from heartbreak to healing. So now
please welcome the host of Soul CPR and Papa Yode.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Hello, and thank you for tuning in today. I'm delighted
you've joined me for today's conversation. But before we get
into today's topic, I have some follow up from our
previous episode. I've had several people reach out to me
following last week's show with Sarah Smart and on our
Behalf and all of you victims. Thank you for your
(01:01):
outpouring of love and support and also pride in her
healing success. I did want to say out loud thank
you to her high school coach who noticed and spoke
up and tried to stand up for her to create
an intervention. Now, if you remember from her story, Sarah
(01:23):
was scared and never went back to school, but I
had a conversation with Sarah just a few minutes ago,
and she actually said that it was the first time
that she actually felt like somebody cared and noticed. Right now,
she I applaud that coach, and I know that Sarah
(01:47):
was probably scared, and she talked about during the show
having protected her abusers and all of this. But I
also wondered after the show, what would any of us
do if we noticed a child that might be neglected
or abused. So I wanted us to know that in
the United States, you can get information and assistance by
(02:09):
calling or texting the Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline
at one eight hundred four two two four four five three,
or call your local police and let them investigate a
situation you may have concern about. Now she was talking about,
(02:29):
you know, at the time, there was no CPS or whatever.
If a child didn't speak up or or agree for help,
it was just sort of ignored it and maybe brushed
under the rug. But that's not the case now now.
I don't know if Sarah also ever got the apology
she is to you. She did get a message from
(02:50):
her father last week after the show that he hoped
that by sharing her story with us, she found some healing.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Sarah also so.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Told me that he had apologized for everything she went
through with him, but that's not the same thing as
taking responsibility for being at one's hands, right. She said
her mom never apologized or took responsibility, but did say
(03:22):
at that dinner that Sarah was able to take her
to not long before her passing, that was the first
time her mother ever told her she loved her, and
that Sarah still struggles with that concept of love to
this day, as you can imagine, because if that's a
definition of love, then what does that mean considering how
(03:46):
she was treated growing up. And she said that she
still accepts as love things that other people who had normal, healthy,
real relationships never would. She said that she is still
trying to sort through a lot of this, that she's
just now really in her forties, starting to come to
(04:07):
terms and start starting to comprehend everything that happened in
her life, and that she is just now that diagnoses
that she revealed, she's just now that's just now happening.
So this healing journey is really just now happening. The
successes came because she stood up and took determination and
(04:27):
made decisions. She said she had people her whole life
color she wasn't going to make it should be nothing
but trash and this and that because of the way
she was raised. And she said she asked these people now,
why and she said, because it would you ever get
beyond that and passed it. But she said the bigger
(04:49):
question for her now is why did you not help me?
And she actually sees these people as contributing to the
abuse because they did not enterving no book body stood
up and took it a step further even though they knew.
(05:11):
So again, if you have awareness or even suspicion of
child neglect or abuse, call notify someone in local authority.
All right, with that, let's get back to today. Episodes
forty one and forty two are the first two in
(05:32):
the series that led us to want more discussion after
some scheduled guests on Letting Go, And interestingly, letting Go
is about trust and attachment and control and things that
we have addressed with guests since those first two episodes
in different ways since starting the series. And we began
(05:54):
the series talking about emotional drivers love your anger, and
that those keep us holding on to what no longer
serves us, and we talked about barriers to letting go,
including habits and detachments, memories, and the natural human resistance
(06:18):
to change. In Part two, we address the weight of
guilt and regret after letting go, that emotional aftermath that
so many of us are not prepared for. Once we've
made the decision and even taken the action to let go,
we talked about and shared why those feelings linger and
(06:41):
how to move through them to find peace and freedom on.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
The other side.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Now, today we're going to come full circle to conclude
the art and science of letting go, freeing yourself for
a fulfilling life, and we're going to address shifting mindset
from control to trust. What does that mean? It means
really accepting uncertainty in life? Does uncertainty make you uncomfortable?
(07:13):
If so, what does the word faith mean to you?
Is it only associated with religion or spirituality or can
faith also mean trusting what you're not certain of will
turn out okay? And can it simply mean believing without
(07:37):
seeing a guarantee or trusting that all is working for
you and not against you. And for some of us,
an outer faith, religion or spiritual is an anchor that
helps us and is intertwined in this ability to let
(07:57):
go of uncertainty, and yet we fail to draw from
it in everyday circumstances. Regardless, Let's start with the notion
that letting go requires shifting from a mindset of control
to trust.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Let's just start.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
There, shall we, So with that letting go isn't just
about releasing people or circumstances or expectations. It's about trusting
that even in uncertainty, we are safe. Yet trust does
not come easily, especially for those of us who have
(08:41):
relied on control as a way to protect ourselves. The
science of it is that control is often our brain's
way of creating safety and predictability, and since childhood, our
nervous system has learned to kick into high alert when
things feel uncertain, and if we've experienced trauma, abandonment, or betrayal,
(09:05):
the need for control can become even stronger. It feels
like the only way to avoid getting hurt again.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Now, we talked about.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Betrayal, trauma, and trust with Doctor Yasmin in episode number
forty four, so you may want to go back and
have a listen to that one. If you've not done
so yet, Think of someone who constantly plans everything, like
(09:35):
on the level of even what to say in a
conversation before the conversation has even happened, or you know
what to do in case of an emergency not a
bad thing right, or how to keep people happy. It
may look like perfectionism or over responsibility, but underneath it's
(09:57):
often fear. Does this sound like you or someone you know?
And when you think of it that way, the truth
is control is an illusion, and no matter how much
we plan, life remains unpredictable, doesn't it, And so clinging
(10:21):
to control doesn't prevent uncertainty, It just exhausts us. So
think about it for a minute. What is one area
of your life where you feel you need to control everything?
And what would it feel like just to release a
(10:45):
little bit of that control. Would you decrease a little
bit of anxiety, a little bit of stress in your life?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It would be free?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Or does it give you more stress and anxiety to
think about letting go of control a little bit? Be
honest with yourself, assess it just a bit. I find
that we often believe that if we control everything, we
can prevent pain and disappointment, or I don't know, perhaps
(11:21):
failure but in reality, control is just a coping mechanism.
It does not change outcomes. And in the end, as
we learned with doctor Yasmin, with trust comes risk, and
without risk, perhaps you could say, and actually people do
(11:42):
say no reward. After all, we're saying today that letting
go leads to life fulfillment. Right, But back to control
for safety and security. An example maybe to think of
imagining someone if maybe you don't have to imagine too greatly,
(12:07):
maybe you do this checking their partners texts or social media.
Out of fear of betrayal. They believe if they monitor
everything they can prevent heartbreak, but in doing so they
only create anxiety, resentment, and emotional exhaustion, doubting everything, questioning everything,
(12:28):
could it be?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Is this a sign of betrayal? But here's a truth
bomb for you.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Surrendering control does not mean giving up. It means accepting
that we're not meant to micromanage every outcome? Can we
really micromanage fate? And when we stop gripping so tightly
(12:55):
we allow life to unfold in ways we never expected.
So try this on for size. A shift in perspective.
Instead of asking how can I control this? Try asking
how can I trust that everything is going to work
(13:17):
out as it's meant to? Now, I know that's easier
said than done. It feels counterintuitive, right, But the more
we let go, the more power we actually gain. Why
because when we stop forcing things, we free up energy
(13:38):
for what truly matters. It's time for our first break
in the show. But don't go far. When we come back,
we're going to pick up right there with some real
life examples to try to convince you to let go
of control and replace it with trust.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Be right back.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Mica Zorika three time California state champion in Greco Roman
wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike Blind six
birth was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a six
time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and two fourths.
He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling twice at
(14:18):
one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all these tournaments,
he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zurich a creative
spirit whose talents have taken her to the stage and
into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father, a
commercial artist who shared his instruments with his daughter and
helped her fine tune. Her natural abilities influenced her decision
(14:41):
to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zurich has enjoyed a
fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings at
twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for heartwarming
stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent but you're not sure how?
(15:20):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships, health,
wellbeing and more. Podcasts and transcripts of the Carrying Generation
are on my website, Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus my
(15:44):
Caregiving Library Online Caregiver support programs and programs for corporations
interested in supporting working caregivers. Help, hope and support for
caregivers is here on the Carrying Generation and Pamela d
Wilson dot com.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
And welcome back to sol CPR. We are talking about
letting go to really free your life up to be
more rewarding and fulfilling. So when you think of letting go,
what does it feel like? Does it do you feel
angst or do you feel freedom? Well, a lot of
people think about it and they actually feel fearful or
(16:28):
they feel like maybe it's giving up before they try
harder and harder and harder. So think about a time
when you may be held onto something a relationship or
a job, or maybe even a belief because you feared
the unknown. This comes up a lot in my practice.
(16:51):
Maybe you've heard the saying the devil I know is
better than the one I don't. And the more you
resisted change, the more painful.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
It became.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You know, the relationship you were in, the job, you
were in, the belief you held onto, But the moment
you let go, even if the letting go was scary
or terrifying, clarity and peace actually followed. So do you
have an example in your own life of that. I'm
(17:27):
sure you do if you think back, you know, Minus
let go of his blanket.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
I wonder.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
But anyway, strength isn't always about controlling every detail. It's
about trusting that even if things don't go as planned,
you'll be okay. That's where the trust has to come in,
and that's the strength, is believing in yourself that you're
going to be okay regardless of the outcome.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Let's take the.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Story of Serena, a woman who spent years in an
emotionally toxic relationlationship. Now, Serena stayed because she thought leaving
meant failure. That was a belief and interpretation she had
about giving up if you will, and that if she
only tried harder, she could fix things. And she controlled
(18:17):
every aspect of her life to avoid confrontation. So she
walked on eggshells and suppressed her own needs in the relationship,
and deep down she knew she had to let go,
but fear of the unknown kept her stuck or trapped
for her words. In this relationship, she had thoughts like
(18:42):
what if I never find love again? Or what if
I regret leaving? Well, eventually, one day, After months of
self reflection, Serena made the terrifying decision to leave, and
at first she felt lost, but something un it expected happened.
Over time, she found herself, She built confidence in her
(19:09):
ability to navigate life on her own, and she discovered
that trust, rather than control, was the real foundation of
a fulfilling life. Now, looking back, she wonders why she
waited so long and what she once saw as a
loss turned out to be her greatest gain. And I
(19:33):
share Serena's story because it's the same story of so many,
is it not many who've stayed in a relationship well
past its expiration date. Just last night in my support group,
a woman named Isabelle shared her story and gave me
(19:53):
permission to share today with you. She recently went through
a devastating divorce and the selling of a home that
she had poured her heart and soul into. She said
she had cried for two years after knowing the relationship
was headed to divorce, feeling helpless, like with no control
(20:13):
of the fact that they were still living in the
same home. Yet he was moving forward in life and
she had the inability to even pick herself up at
this point. But Eventually what began with a decision, She
started picking herself up and everything that she had been
(20:35):
criticized for previously she challenged in her own thinking and
reclaimed her.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
She got her own assessment of the home before selling it,
educated herself on finances, and while letting go of the
house was something that had to be grieved, she found
a new one in her budget within a week of
selling the home that she had loved for so long,
(21:07):
and this new one she absolutely adores and loves. I
asked what she had to let go of for all
of this to happen, and there were two parts to
her answer.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
One fear.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Fear had almost held her back but ultimately did not.
Fear almost held her back from visiting an open house
and being prepared to offer and negotiate on a new
home for herself. And the second thing she had to
let go of was the belief that life's dreams were
supposed to happen As a couple. She said she'd spent
(21:43):
her whole life waiting for others to go for her
dreams and instead either had her dreams criticized or not
realized at all. So congratulations Isabelle, how does it feel
to be off the sidelines and in the game of
your own life?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
In a sense?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Having to be a couple because of culture, religion, or
some ingrained expectation that has been set for you has
created a way to control and set a certainty in life,
perhaps right, but at what cost? And in the end,
with the freedom of choice by her partner to dissolve
(22:30):
the marriage, the control structure was blown apart like a
good old Kansas tornado.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But letting go of.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Control as your own choice can feel unsettling, especially if
we've relied on it for a sense of safety. Right,
But true security does not come from controlling the outcomes.
It comes from trusting what we are strong enough.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
To handle.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
That comes our way. Now my website, I have three
words survive, strive, thrive, and that is a series of
things that happens. As something unexpected happens in our life,
or we make a decision that something has to change
(23:19):
in our life, we first have to survive the storm
and then strive to clear the path. So once we survive,
because if we don't survive, nothing else matters, right, But
then we have to strive to clear the path and
that's the work in front of you, just like Isabel
did with educating herself and then challenging and clarifying her
(23:39):
own thoughts and beliefs and then enjoying the time of
thriving with gratitude. And that's the stage she is moving
towards now, and that time of thriving only comes with
trusting in so many ways. But life doesn't work out
(24:05):
on our schedule, does it. No, it doesn't unfold per
a plan or per timing. So that waiting, the uncertainty
and the unexpected detours, if you will, can feel unbearable,
(24:26):
especially when we desperately want change or healing or that
clarity that we were talking about before. But so what
if the timing that we resist is actually working in
our favor?
Speaker 3 (24:46):
What if?
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Now? We often associate progress with action, so when things
feel stagnant or delayed, it's easy to believe that nothing
is happened. And uncertainty can then be terrifying because it's
going to trigger our survival instincts. And then again we're
(25:09):
gonna want to do what we're going to want to
control because we need that security and that predictability, especially
where when we're operating that survival instinct. The science of
why waiting feels so hard is the brain is craving
certainty and dislikes the unknown. Just like we said before,
(25:30):
we fear that we're being left behind while others be forward.
Can you imagine Isabelle living in the home with her husband.
They're divorcing, She's crying every day and he's going out
on the pan. We assume that if something hasn't happened
(25:50):
yet for us though, that it never will. But in reality,
just because you don't see movement doesn't mean nothing is happening.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Growth. Think about it.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Growth often happens beneath the surface, just like a seed
buried in the soil before it breaks.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Through the ground. I've got more.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Examples for you from real client life experiences that I'm
going to share with you that I'm sure are relatable
for you. But we're going to take our second break.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Doug A. Farr will be back with more sol CPR.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Doctor RC will share extraordinary resources and services that promote
educational success as well as making a difference in the
lives of all social workers as well as the lives
of children, adolescents, and teens of today. She will have
open discussions addressing many of the issues that we face
about our youth and how being employed in the uniquely
skilled profession of social work for over eighteen years has
(26:57):
taught invaluable lessons through her personal experiences. She will also
provide real life facts, examples, and personal stories that will
confirm that why serving as a child advocate is extremely
beneficial when addressing the needs of the whole child. Listen
Live to Dare to Soar Saturday's ten am Eastern on
the BBM Global Network and tune in radio as Doctor
(27:20):
RC will provide thought provoking information that will empower, encourage
and strengthen students, families and communities across our nation. You
can also visit her at soarwith Katie dot Com. Author,
radio show host and coach John M. Hawkins reveals strategies
(27:40):
to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals.
John M. Hawkins new book Coached to Greatness Unlock Your
Full Potential with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe, Hawkins
reveals strategies to help readers accomplish more. He believes the
book can coach them to greatness. Hawkins says that the
(28:03):
best athletes get to the top of their sport with
the help of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares guidance
that helps readers reflect on what motivates them. We discover
and assess their core values, philosophies and competencies, find settings
that allow them to be the most productive, and track
their progress towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John Hawkins My
(28:26):
Strategy Saturdays one pm Eastern on the BBM Global Network
and tune in radio.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Welcome back everyone, you're tuned into Bold Brave TV. I'm
an Papaoti and.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
This is sole CPR.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
So we're talking about letting go, and that means letting
go of control, and that means relying on trust. And
I'm sharing some client circumstances that I feel most of
us can relate to. I have another client who's much
much younger, and it's amazing how we all have the
(29:03):
same situations when it comes to love. And she really
was focused and desperately wanting to find love and been
on countless dates feeling frustrated that things really weren't working out,
and started questioning herself, you know, am I unlovable? Whyever
I meet the right person? But waiting well is a
(29:26):
concept that I tried to instill in my clients, and
eventually she was able to adopt this too, and she
unknowingly did the most important work during this waiting well
period and started looking at past wounds, which is something
else that I have everyone do, and healing those wounds
(29:49):
and recognizing she was bringing those into current relationships, and
during this waiting well period started building herself worth and
getting clear on what she truly wanted.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
That what was going wrong wasn't about him.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
She was often looking at what he was doing wrong,
and she started recognizing it was really that she wasn't
ready for a relationship because she had this work to
do on herself and that delay, she was able to
reframe and realize that it wasn't a punishment, it was
(30:27):
a preparation period. And when she had that kind of
aha insight, totally let go of having to be in
a relationship and find the right person and is doing
amazingly well. She's actually going to be a guest on
the show later. I actually it's next month, I believe,
and we're going to talk about dating in her stage
(30:49):
of life, which is mid twenties. Now, what if life's
delays weren't roadblocks, but redirections, just like hers. Often what
feels like rejection or failure is actually the universe moving
us towards something better. Yeah, so reframing is something we
(31:13):
do in coaching a lot. So what if we reframed
our setbacks instead of thinking something like this isn't happening
for me? What if we tried a thought like like,
maybe I'm being redirected for something even better? And what
can I learn? And that question needs to be asked
every time? What can I learn from this pause? Instead
(31:36):
of feeling left behind? Remind yourself everyone's timeline is different
and my path is unfolding exactly as it should. And
that sounds like what trust? Trusting that everything is working
out for you and not against you. So when it
(31:57):
comes to healing, ask me often when while I feel better,
I'm tired of hurting, this is overwhelming, et cetera. I
encourage anyone hurting emotionally to recognize that it takes time
and patience to heal emotional wounds just like physical wounds.
(32:21):
So rather than ask, when ask the what questions, what
am I learning now? It's a shift in your focus
away from your pain to your gain right, and I
promise every time you lose something, you gain something else,
just like in one of the case studies I mentioned earlier.
(32:45):
It just isn't always apparent right away, but there's always
a gain when you lose or choose to let go now.
Healing never happens in one big moment, does it?
Speaker 3 (33:02):
And Isabelle can attest for that.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
It's slow and gradual. It's in those moments when you
recognize you laughed out loud for the first time in
a long time, or when the mention of someone's name
didn't cause tears to roll down your cheeks for the
first time in a long time. It's a process of time,
(33:31):
so be patient with yourself. However, this helps cultivate trust
in yourself in faith when you loud this time and patience.
You cannot have trust without faith, which is the ultimate
letting go of certainty, is it not? Choosing faith over
(33:56):
fear is something one of my clients that I talk
about often, right tom And when you're aware you have
the option and the power of choice, Wow, it makes
a difference. You have the option of faith over fear,
and when you're aware of that, you claim the power
(34:16):
of choice to choose it now. Sometimes what we want
isn't actually right for us, is it? And then life
steps in to protect us from something we can't yet see.
And what may feel like missed opportunity might actually be
saving us from something misaligned. So how do we trust
(34:39):
the redirection?
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Right? So reflect on.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Pastimes when something didn't work out and later you were
grateful for it. I think there's a country song about
unanswered prayers. Right, remind yourself, if it meant for me,
it will come in the right way at the right time.
That's trust. That sounds like trust, not fear. Let go
(35:06):
of forcing and focus on flowing. Trust that what is
truly yours will not.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Pass you by.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
And yes, Maria s I'm thinking of you right now. Okay,
So let go forcing and focus on flowing. That's what's
truly yours will not pass you by, whether it's a person,
a property, or anything else. Trusting life's timing means believing
(35:37):
that things are happening for you even when you don't
see those immediate results. So the challenge is to remain
to remain open to trust that delays and setbacks and
redirections are all part of a bigger, better plan unfolding
in ways you can't see, and that, my friends, is faith.
(36:00):
I want to actually invite you all to participate in
a challenge, and I want you to have fun with it.
Let's call it the twenty four hour What did I
call it? The surrender experiment? Okay, here's the challenge for
the next twenty four hours. That's all, consciously let go
(36:26):
of control over one thing that normally triggers stress or anxiety.
For you, you accept my challenge. This is mission possible,
not impossible. This could be letting go of a letting
go of trying to overanalyze a conversation, just let it be.
(36:50):
It could be releasing frustration in traffic delays or unexpected changes.
It could be letting go of trusting an unresolved situation,
just trusting that it's going to work itself out without
a forced solution.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Something like that.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
All right, the next twenty four hours, constantly let go
of control over one thing that normally triggers stress or anxiety.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
What is it for you?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
How to participate in the challenge? Three things, one setting intention. Today,
I choose to trust, I release the need to control.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Bill in the blank.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
And then I want you to observe your reactions. Notice
when your mind wants to control, plan, or fix whatever
this is, and instead of reacting, pause and choose to trust.
Third thing is then to reflect and share at the
end of the day, either journal or voice record what happened,
(37:55):
did anything unexpected unfold? Were you able to let it go?
Were able to intercept yourself and feel the control starting
to happen, and then let it go? If you're comfortable,
share your experience with us by putting comments on this
(38:16):
show wherever you listen or watch or download, and hashtag
trust the process and tag me at an Papalloti and
at sol CPR, put it anywhere on social media, wherever
you want to do it. I'm very excited to see
what happens for you if you allow yourself this opportunity
to truly trust the process and observe yourself for twenty
(38:40):
four hours now. The biggest trust challenge for many I
work with is trusting themselves. Because they feel they've met
made bad choices throughout their lives. They question their judgment
(39:03):
and they fear making the same mistakes again, or believe
they're incapable of choosing wisely in anything but self. Trust
isn't always about making perfect choices. It's about learning to
trust that you can handle whatever comes your way, as
(39:25):
I mentioned before, no matter the outcome. But it also
starts with self awareness and then it builds to self
mastery and it's all wrapped up in self love and
self trust is possible, people, But it starts with small stebs.
(39:45):
And I'm going to give you a few little tips
for that, because I hear the doubt through the air
ways of self trust after bad decisions. But the first
thing you can do is start by reframing those bad.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Decisions as lessons and not failures.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Okay, don't let your past define your future. So let's
take those bad decisions reframe them as lessons and not failures.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
That's growth.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Okay, Then separate the past from the present. That shows
your growth. What would you do differently now if you
were in the same circumstances if they presented themselves again
for some reason, show yourself the lessons, prove to yourself
the growth that you have had. Start with some small
(40:36):
acts of self trust. You know, when we're with doctor Yasmin,
we talked about trust is consistency over time, small consistent,
repeated acts over time, same thing to build it for yourself.
But small acts of self trust may look like check
(40:58):
with yourself before you check with other people about something.
Are you someone who always has to have other people's
validation and opinions to make a decision? Stop that instead,
ask yourself, what do you? What do I think? What
do I feel? Learn how to do gut checks. That's
(41:23):
how we're gonna start checking in with our intuition. Make
those small little commitment. Keep those small commitments to yourself.
What commitments do you have it if you don't have any,
make them like a bedtime routine, a morning routine.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
And habits.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
What are your habits that you want to commit to,
and keep those commitments to yourself. Reward yourself. That's an
act of self love for keeping commitments to yourself. Make
peace with those imperfect choices from the past, So offering
forgiveness to yourself. That's an active self compassion. This is
(42:00):
going to build trust with yourself. I think that I
think that one thing that I would do, and I've
done it with people in coaching sessions, is visualizing your
future self trusting you now you're growing to this person.
(42:22):
So seeing yourself as strong and confident and happy, making
strong solid decisions. So seeing yourself as the person that
you want to become is important. That's the power of visualization. Listen,
Every choice that you make with awareness and self compassion
(42:44):
encourage brings yourself closer to trusting yourself again and again,
letting go of that control of the outcome, but knowing
that you can come through it whatever it is. Will
continue on that feeling segment. It is time for our
third and final break, and when we come back, some
(43:05):
final and closing thoughts for you.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Don't go far. We'll be back with more sol CPR.
Speaker 4 (43:13):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent but you're not sure how.
(43:33):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central, and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships,
health wellbeing and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The Carrying
Generation are on my website Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus
(43:56):
my caregiving library. Online caregiver support programs and programs for
corporations interested in supporting working caregivers. Help, hope and support
for caregivers is here on The Carrying Generation and Pamela
Dwilson dot com.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Mike Zorich a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike blind
SI's birth was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veteran's Folk Style Wrestling
(44:33):
twice at one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zorich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist, who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune. Her natural abilities influenced her
(44:56):
decision to follow in his footsteps, Miss Zorich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
And we're back for the final segment.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Listeners, Whether you accept the.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Twenty four hour challenge or not, I'd like to encourage
you to take some time this week to ask yourself
and spend some time in reflection. But where in life
am I holding on to tightly? And what would happen
if I trust it?
Speaker 3 (45:37):
Instead?
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Letting go is always life's lesson for freedom. Give it
a try, create a daily affirmation or journaling exercise to
reinforce trust in life's unfolding path. Now, when we're talking
about Isabelle's story and others in here, I want to
emphasize that he is not passive. That's why when I
(46:04):
say survive, strive, thrive, strive in the middle, that's really
the work. Healing takes work, and there's a willingness question
that people have to ask themselves to get in and
do the work. But it leads to thriving. I've seen
so much of it I'm so proud of the people
that have come across my path and have been able
(46:25):
to do that. And sometimes just asking for help is
that first step, and it can take courage, I know.
But if you find that you need more personalized and
guided help with letting go of something or someone, then
don't hesitate to reach out. You can go to my
website Skyviewcoaching dot com and schedule a complimentary half hour
discovery session so we can have a conversation to help
(46:48):
determine which of several coaching options may be best for
you at this time in your life. I have a
twelve week online sol CPR course and I have an
eight week sole CPR private on one coaching program, and
those are just two options that take you through healing
steps in a deep dive way. Guided journaling is also
helpful for people in different situations and scenarios, and in
(47:12):
my co author book The Gift of Shift, Tracy and
I cheer short personal stories illustrating difficult common life themes
and how we shifted our perspective in each to not
change our circumstances that would be trying to control life right,
but to change how we were able to experience them.
And each chapter is followed by five coaching questions for
(47:34):
the reader to reflect on how the theme has played
out in their own life so that they can become
unstuck in a current situation, or so that they can
remember and recall their strengths to help them move through
a different but current circumstance. Things include betrayal, grief, diagnosis, hope,
being your own best friend and more so we've got
(47:56):
those in the show notes for you. And as always,
as this episode of Soul CPR is coming to a close,
remember that healing is not a linear journey, but rather
a process of profound transformation, and it requires your cooperation
to heal. If today's stories resonated with you, share this
(48:19):
podcast with those who might need a lifeline of their own, Subscribe,
rate and leave a review to help us reach more hearts.
We greatly appreciate that. Again, you can connect with me
on social media on Facebook at Skyview Coaching, Instagram, LinkedIn
and x It's at and papiote. Let me know your thoughts,
your stories, and the topics you'd like to explore in
(48:39):
future episodes, and do let us know how this challenge
went for you. If you participate and until next time,
maybe find strength in your vulnerability and courage in your journey.
I thank you for listening. Breath deeply, love openly, and
live sulfully.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
This has been Soul CPR with host and Papa Yode
Breathe life back into your spirit with each episode where
she and special guests explore the relationships that hurt us
and discover that healing can only begin with you. Tuesdays
at three pm Eastern on the Bold Brave TV Network.
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